Get Your Ex Back

3. Do remain positive. Focus on the good things in your life. Assess what went wrong. Speak to a counselor if you need to, but get to the bottom of any personal issues you may have that could have negatively impacted the relationship. Once you have discovered what went wrong, vow to make it right. This positive attitude will help you get your ex boyfriend back in your arms or your ex girlfriend, whatever the case may be.

4. Do apologize. If you owe your ex an apology, swallow your pride and extend a sincere one. Never say, “I’m sorry for doing this, but you did this…,” inserting whatever accusation you have against your ex. An apology is not wrapped with “but” and “because” or other words that take the focus off you and put it on your ex’s issues. Own your mistakes and there’s a good chance your ex will do the same.

5. Find resources to help. Take advantage of resources such as those found at here to help you reunite with your ex the right way. The Magic of Making Up is a great resource that offers the tools you need to restore that relationship and win back the love of your life.

Don’t give up. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Think in the positive and win back the girl or guy of your dreams.

If you follow these steps, you can get your ex back!

It’s amazing how often I see women make mistakes that can kill a date before it even gets started.  You are out to have a good time and you want to be yourself, but there is some information you just want to save for later on.

I have been on hundreds of first dates and there are a few things that a woman can do to kill my attraction for her instantly.  It’s true that men are visual, but having nice looks just gets you a first date, if you do something weird you can ensure that there is never a second date.

How Many Exes?

One of the biggest mistakes women do on a first date is talk about an ex.  I have seen the entire spectrum of women who do this and it’s NEVER a good idea.  I have been on dates where women talk about how their last boyfriend was abusive and now he’s in jail, how they have had sex with over 100 men and the last one was just a few hours ago, how they are still in love with their ex, how a certain ex was the best lover ever, how her last boyfriend was the one but just didn’t realize he should marry her.  I could go on and on.  I have seen it dozens of times and every time I without exception I think about how inappropriate it is.

Even if I tell a woman that it’s not ok to talk about her exes, usually she won’t stop.  Because she has made it a part of her character.

I can usually tell a lot about someone based on the stories they tell in conversation.  Younger women often only have stories about their parents or siblings.  A little later in life, women have stories about their friends.  Before long, some only have stories about their exes.

If a woman only has stories about her exes this tells me several things about her.  She is perpetually in relationships and that is a big red flag for me.  I want to be with a woman who is complete on her own, as Travis teaches about in GirlGetsRing.  I also know that a girl ditches her friends as soon as she’s in a relationship, otherwise she would be telling stories about them.

When I hear about a woman’s exes I start to compare myself to them and I don’t like that.  I only talk about my exes in my books and blog posts, I never talk about them on dates.  I don’t want to make a woman I’m with uncomfortable and you shouldn’t do it to a man.  You might be thinking right now that there is an exception to the rule, but there really isn’t.  Talking about your exes is always awful on a first date.

Do You Want to Get Married?

I talk extensively in GirlGetsRing about my one blind date.  My dad set me up with a girl who was just awful.  One of the many mistakes she made was asking questions that let me know she was clearly husband shopping.

Let me be clear: I want you to marry me because you think I’m amazing, not because you want to be married!

Husband auditions remove every single piece of specialness from a relationship.  Why would you ever want to do that?  It’s ok to screen a man and see if he’s good husband material, but don’t be OBVIOUS about it.

Do not ask a man if he wants to get married, if he wants to have children, where he sees himself in five years, etc.

All these questions are big red flags.  I’ve actually recently decided that I’m finally old enough to consider settling down — but these questions still freak me out.

The Interview

I’m a savvy conversationalist.  I have written several books on dating and communication, given numerous lectures and personally trained hundreds of men on ways to improve their conversational and dating skills…and yet I still go on boring dates.

Some women will do whatever it takes to be on a boring date.

Here is a secret about women: you will ask boring questions and then get upset with a man for giving boring answers.  This is a huge problem in online dating that I discuss in The Perfect Profile – women make boring profiles and then can’t figure out why they are getting boring emails.

On a date you don’t want to ask questions.  Normal conversation is a flow of statements.  When you are talking to your friends, it is almost always a group of people taking turns telling stories.  The only time we get asked questions is at job interviews and on bad dates.

I know that sometimes you are both nervous and can’t make the conversation flow.  So it is ok to ask questions – they just have to be open ended.  Don’t ask him where he works.  How much money he makes.  Does he have any brothers and sisters.  What’s his favorite color.  How was the commute to work.

You want to ask interesting questions:

What’s your best friend like?

Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater?  Why?

If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?

What makes you happy?

I know these are deeper questions, but there is nothing worse than being boring.  It’s the ultimate curse on a woman and it’s just as bad as being called desperate.

If you can avoid these three mistakes your dates will start going a lot better.  And that will make life so much easier.

Halloween is my favorite holiday for so many reasons. And one of the greatest reasons is that all hot women use it as an excuse to dress slutty.

Every girl is a slutty cat, a slutty witch, or a slutty cheerleader.

And I gotta say that I just love that.

So when the girls are putting out extra sexy vibes, with a little bit of strategy on our parts as men, we can all get laid this holiday season. Let me start with two classic mistakes (that I’ve made).

The Braveheart

When I was in college, I dressed up as William Wallace my freshman year. The costume was genius. I looked amazing. I had a blue kilt, matching Scottish gear, and all the blue facepaint.

And let me tell you that shit got all over my white shirt. I don’t know how clowns wear that crap without it getting everywhere. I know there is some technique out there, but I still don’t know how to do it.

Girls spend forever getting ready when they go out and there are about a million reasons why painting your face will keep them from touching you. Just one sneaky kiss and everyone will know you hooked up for starters. There’s no chance for any dark corner action.

So don’t paint your face. Nobody wants to bang a clown.

Too Cute

The cuter your costume the stronger your game has to be.  If you are a total legend like me, you can get away with wearing a full body Tigger costume.  If you are an even bigger legend like my buddy Ollie, you will borrow my Tigger costume and then bang a girl while you are both inside of it.

Notice the badass Tigger beard

You should always learn away from cute and towards a sexy, bad boy image this Holiday season.  If you dress up as a chipmunk, or the boy from Where The Wild Things Are, then you have to have a strong enough personality to cover up the assumption that you are a weak kid.

Too Lame

There is nothing worse than when you are wearing a costume and nobody gets it.  Don’t be the guy dressed as a “normal dude.”  And don’t be the guy dressed as something obscure that people have to ask like fifty questions to figure out that they still don’t get it.

Here is a sweet picture of me as Wolverine for Halloween in 2002 I believe.  This was before all the X-men movies.  Therefore nobody got it.  But this IS definitive proof that I was rocking a Wolverine look before I ever heard of Hypnotica.

And last but not least don’t be the one guy not wearing a costume.  That just makes you a prick.

Don’t Carry Something

If you carry it you will regret it.  And probably lose it.   This means nunchucks, swords, scepters and anything else you gotta carry in your hand.  Somewhere during the night you will probably lose it.

So there is no percentage in carrying that crap around.  It will only cause you problems.  If you have a drink in one hand and a sword in the other, what hands are you going to touch her boobs with?  I love swords but I love touching boobs more.

How to Do It Right

Take a Sexy Archetype

Pick a character that already has sexy attached to it – pirate, motorcycle badboy etc.  I don’t want to tell you exactly what costume to get but you want to get one that is about 10% beyond your personality to push yourself.  You want it to be something simple that she’ll get.

Can you even tell what my costume is? The pirate got WAY more action that night.

If your costume is good, then women will approach you to comment on it.

You can also just dress like a sexy celebrity.  Think Leonardo DiCaprio or Matt Damon in any of their movies.  But again you gotta make it super clear who you are dressed up as, or you’ll run into problems.

Only wear a Half Mask

You can wear a mask on Halloween.  It adds a sense of mystery or the forbidden.  I have a half gasmask that only covers my nose and mouth.  Gotten laid wearing it.  And I love wearing my Venetian mask.

This is the very mask the night I slept with the Mouse.  I couldn’t find a picture of me wearing it, but this is a hot girl borrowing it because she loved it so much.  Please forgive the picture, I was hammered when I took it, but this chick is seriously sexy.

If you wear a full mask there is too much mystery.  There could be anything under there.  If you wear a half mask, her mind will fill in the gaps and make your more handsome.  If she can only really see your eyes and mouth, then you are in great shape.  Everyone has nice eyes.

Costume = Approach Invitation

If a girl is wearing a costume she wants you to walk up to her.  That is a FACT.  If she didn’t want people to mention her costume, she wouldn’t be wearing one.  Remember that everyone is insecure.  So you can walk up and say, “great costume” to every single woman you see next weekend.

This is why it’s crucial that you wear a costume.  If you compliment her costume and you’re not wearing one, it’s hard for her to say something back.  Plus you look like a dick.  Plus you are ruining my favorite holiday.

Wear Your Costume a Day Early and a Day Late

There is nothing better than being the only guy wearing a costume.  Every single girl will approach you.  As long as you have the confidence to back it up, you will get a bunch of free attention.  It’s like peacocking but way less obvious!

When anyone points out that you’re the only one wearing a costume just say that you love Halloween.  A strong frame turns being the odd man out into a MAJOR advantage.

When I Wear Wings I Get Laid

This one doesn’t come with a guarantee but everytime I wear Angel Wings I get laid.  As I am writing this I realize that my wings are missing.  I wonder if I left them in Europe.  I had a pair that I gave my oneitis when I was in Japan.  In fact that picture of me with the pirate is from that Halloween.  She left them behind and I kept them.

Turns out they were lucky after all!

There is something about a man wearing wings that just turns women on.  Then again I am turned on by a woman wearing wings.  The first time I wore wings was to make myself more confident like one week after learning that pickup existed – and I got laid.  It’s one of my first blog posts actually.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any solid pictures of me in those wings.  Sorry for that.

Leave a Comment Ya Bastards!

I know how many of you guys are reading these articles.  Now that it’s hundreds every day I expect some comment love.  So tell me what costume you’re gonna wear and next week tell me that ya got laid!

I finished a photo shoot for my new book with a stunning model on Thurdsay.  After the shoot I sat down and interviewed her for about 20 minutes about what she saw me teaching and how it is being a stunning girl.  If she isn’t your dream girl then she’s pretty damn close.

In the first clip I want to show you Jackie talks about when men tell her they have a goldfish after she says she has a boyfriend.  This is a line that one of the bigger dating companies teaches.

What a waste of time and effort.  Why upset a pretty girl for no reason.  You know that models are friends with other models.  Beautiful girls tend to know other beautiful girls.  So why cut yourself out of the frame.  It’s time to stop using weak lines.

If she has a boyfriend just ask what his name is.  If she doesn’t really have one, this will short circuit her normal shield and get you into real conversation.  If she does have a boyfriend you can find out how he got her.  That is invaluable intel sucker!!!!

So one of my recent guys and I have been hanging out a ton lately. There is nothing I enjoy more than hanging out with a student that I have turned into a badass wing and friend. Of course this is a story of a different sort.

On Saturday this dude was in a restaurant bar eating dinner alone when he sees three girls throwing back the drinks and decides to join in the conversation. It’s amazing how many epic stories start with just one little decision. The first step seems hardest of all, except when we look at it with hindsight.

Fast forward a few hours and he’s partying with them in their strip club and throwing back the overpriced cocktails. He gets the number of the loudest and craziest one after a night of intense partying and trouble making. He texts her the next day and gets no reply so he figures that it’s dead. C’est la vie.

Ever since I learned the right way to spell that, I love typing it.

Late night Sunday she texts him saying she wants to meet up on Monday. So he suggests taking her out to dinner and maybe a few drinks. She’s like how about we just chill at your place. This is the ultimate sign that she just wants to bang. She doesn’t even want the free dinner first!

But this is also where I’m crashing this week, since I’m visiting him. So I get the boot when she comes over. I drove 8 hours that day and I spend an hour falling asleep in a restaurant and then another hour trying to sleep by the pool while he’s doing his thing to her.

The finally chip off and I hit the sack. Right where he smashed her.

A few days later she wants to party and he tells her to bring one of her friends for me. So on Thursday I go out and get loaded up on booze and ready to party. He texts me a little later telling me they have some specific booze requests. Needless to say they want some gross watermelon flavored stripper booze. The lady in the WinnDixie knew exactly what was up. I made sure to have her tell everyone else in the store that I normally buy tough guy liquor.

So the girls go to some bar on the way back to our party pad and he goes to meet them on his way back from work. I have to cruise over from the apartment. A silly little 5 minute drive to meet them up. His girl is loud as hell and people are all moving away from her. She’s got about 15 piercings and 40 tattoos and she is the type of girl that shouts all the time. Right behind her and her buddy is a lovely pair of blonds that I just want to dive right into. But I gotta back my boy up and these girls are already coming back to ours.

The girl he got for me is a cute little brunette. As soon as I make eye contact with my dude we signal that we gotta get these girls outa public. It’s straight embarassing to be around girls that are so loud and obnoxious.

We bounce them back to the pad and start doing drinks. It’s quickly apparent that his girl runs the club where these girls dance. She’s one of those girls that shouts that she is an expert at everything. So she immediately takes over the drink pouring duties. If you like half your booze getting poured on the counter and drinks that taste awful, I can give you this girls contact details. It’s amazing how delusional some people can be.

I go back out with the friend to get some soda to mix with their drinks and I notice a bigass child seat in the back of her car. She’s like ya I got 2 kids and I live with my grandmother. I was like that’s awesome. Normally I would be way outa the scene by now. It’s just too much baby mama drama, but this girl’s body is tight.

Back in the condo we are blasting back drinks and I start escalating the hell outa my girl. I start talking to her about talents and she tells us all that her main talent is making her butt and snatch snap separately. She then stripped from the waist down and showed us. It was impressive but I’m not really sure how it was sexy. Way to scientific looking for me.

We are getting blasted and end up doing chicken fights in the pool. Tops are getting ripped off and our old creepy neighbor is watching like a hawk. He’s just circling the pool like my dog used to when it thought I was drowning as a kid.

We are getting completely dominated because the other team has like 50% more mass than us. So we keep working on strategies. In the final round I drop down super low, grab my friend’s dong, and then blast up so she can push the other girl over. We have a sweet victory.

I take her back inside and we start making out. I look at the door and I’m like do I need to lock that? I don’t really want to lose my groove so I ignore it. I pop her top off and I’m trying to reach behind me for a condom when the main stripper busts in and shuts us down. The girl is just shouting and wants more drinks.

So the mood is broken and we all are back outside chilling more. About 15 minutes later the blond stripper shouts that the 3 of them need to have a meeting in the condo. She runs over and locks me outa my own place. I was going to go hunting all night for ladies with one of my homies from London, and I even told him when I went home that something like this would happen to me.

So my homey had the first threesome of his life and even smashed in the brunette bareback in the bootie. That’s some serious shenanigans.

Like I always say, I get my students laid.

I’m damn happy for him but next time I’m hiding a book by the pool.

SEE, I can post stories where I’m not the hero.

A few weeks ago I was up in NYC teaching a seminar which went AWESOME. It’s going to be the basis for my new DVD – The Warrior Within which I will be releasing in the next few weeks. After the seminar I took out my homey Cliff and a 1on1 student. This is a story about what happens to me on a normal Saturday night in a city I’ve never been to before.

We all meet up at the club and start off with a nice warmup cocktail. The drinks are like 20 bones a piece and it’s 250 for a bottle, so it’s pretty clear that we are going to have to get a table as it’s way cheaper that way. As we are chilling there a whole wedding party of 10 girls rolls up. You know that I love those bachelorette parties. So they roll up to me and start taking photos because of my crazy hair and tattoo. So they get me and the bride and my tat.

At the back of the group there was this really cute Indian girl. So I just grab her arm and pull her in close and start whispering some dirty shit into her ear. I’m just super into her. She is very sexy to me. And she’s really feeling me and it’s like super fast because I’m in like a super mood you know? But then her friends all walk off. They call her to join them and she looks at me. I could have told her to stay but I needed to spend time with my boys. So I sent her on her way and let her know I was going to find her later.

Two minutes later I’m trying to get my boy to open this really tall blond with a naughty looking friend. He gets too nervous so I just grab her and whisper that I think she looks really sexy. We all start chatting in a big circle. We got 3 dudes and 2 girls, but it’s all good. We are just rotating and taking turns and being super chill.

Now I normally don’t go for blonds but this girl had a smoking body and bird lips. I am always into girls that look like animals and I LOVE front ribs. So her dress is sexy as hell and I just go for it. I get really physical and we start dancing in the middle of the crowd. I am dropping old school swing moves. I’m still really pumped about setting my lifetime max at the gym the other week so I wanna show how strong I am. If you have ever seen my pics you know that I don’t feel that way very often.

So I spin her around and do some serious high risk dips. I am totally physically dominant and she just whispers in my ear “I love how you just take control.” I am super feeling it. But I gotta take care of my boys so we slide outa there and tell ‘em we’ll be back later. I took some pics and scored her facebook for the next time I’m in the city. Just to be on the safe side.

We bounce around and talk to some more chicks but nothing really memorable happens. So we finally decide it’s too jammed and get a table. We go to tell the girls and this other dude is all up in my blond’s grill making moves. So I just walk up to her and completely ignore him and tell her we are getting a table. Her and her girl roll off with me and Cliff to sort it all out. As soon as we get the table the blond goes to use the bathroom and is never heard from again.

I see her later on being lead around by another dude but by that point I’ve got a bunch of other girls partying at our table. Things were crazy that night. So I’ll hook you up with some highlights.

- Three girls pull off my shirt and start rubbing me down because they think I’m a coke dealer. My friend didn’t know what a bump was when they asked and told them to ask me.

- I had a 4 way kiss with another dude and 2 girls. Then he tanked and I had a 3 way kiss with 2 girls. (Much better but less funny)

- I fingered this married hot chick in front of her husband because they are swingers and she texted me a bunch of naked photos of her.

So I think it’s over with the blond chick but I wake up and she’s blowing up my facebook like it’s going out of style. She even made a picture of the two of us her new profile pic. I got her digits and we did some texting, but she lives in Boston and I’m in Florida for the next few months at least. Hopefully we’ll meet up when I’m in the city in September.

There are 5 reasons why every pickup artist should go to a bar alone to meet women. Hunting in packs is a classic mistake and it’s time for you to learn to avoid such a lame mistake. There is a reason that we all think snipers are so cool. They hunt alone. It’s all or nothing and it’s on there shoulders. They have no one to blame if they miss that crucial shot.

If you go out to a bar alone you will improve your life for five amazing reasons.

1. You are forced to go out of your shell. When you are in a group, you can have a nice average time without talking to another stranger. You just spend the whole night talking to your friends. When you are in a bar by yourself, you either talk to strangers or you stand their quiet and alone and very bored.

2. People are more likely to approach you. Think about when you want to walk up to a woman. It’s so much easier when she is standing alone than when she is with 10 of her closest friends. Other people feel the same way. When you are standing alone you are far less intimidating.

3. Going out in a pack of guys actually makes you look weak. Guys go out in groups not because they are confident, but because they are not brave enough to be alone. They only understand how other men think. We see strength in numbers. Women see strength in walking alone.

4. Going out alone makes you look confident and will help you to grow your confidence. One of the most beautiful women I ever met was on a night I was in a club alone. She told me that she was so impressed that I was so brave and that she would never have the confidence to go out alone. It actually made me more attractive to her.

5. When you go out in a group you are very likely to just stand there in a circle talking to your friends while not taking action. Your friends actually become an impediment to your success.

So give it a try. Take a few steps out of your shell and see how much people start to respect you and you start to meet the women of your dreams. This is one of the key steps in learning how to get a girlfriend fast.

I’m always looking for ways to push past my limits and improve myself in new areas. This is what separates me from 99% of the population. Most people are, unfortunately, stagnating. This is the way I live a lot of my life for a long time. I felt that improvement was only possible in some areas, I now realize that every aspect of your life can be controlled and improved.

One of my great goals in high school was to bench 135 pounds. By itself this number seems random, but if you have ever spent time in a weight room, you know that this is a common enemy. The benchpress bar weighs 45 pounds and the largest weights you can put on either side weight 45 pounds. So I always wanted to be able to put on the big weights.

At some point in my life, I guess I just gave up on that goal. It kind of drifted off and I became a person who would never bench that much weight.

On Friday, I was leaving the gym and walked past a couple of my buddies benching exactly 135. My first thought was damn my friends are stronger than me. But because they are good guys they brought me into the mix. I was like I can’t lift that much, it’s not possible for me. So I only benched 95 pounds. That’s a medium sized weight of 25 pounds on each side.

I hammered out 12 reps at that weight so my friends convinced me to try 135. I was like I’ll try guys but you better spot me because it’s way to heavy for me. I destroyed 135. Turns out that without realizing it, right now I am the strongest I have ever been in my entire life.

We threw on ten more pounds and I hammered out 3 reps of 145.

To some people that weight is nothing and to others it is amazing. The point is only about the goal relative to me. I have been pushing myself over the past year to get into better and better shape inside and out. And a side effect was bringing home another one of my dreams.

Now go out and bring home one of yours.

Two weeks my mom was in the hospital for what we thought was a stroke.  She was really far away visiting one of my sisters, so I was feeling kinda down.  I called the two giants to come console me over a few cocktails that night.

I just kinda didn’t want to think about things.

So I drink alone for an hour or two until they get off work and they show up, but man they just wanted to talk about themselves.  The truth is I probably wouldn’t have called them at all except I just needed someone to drink with on a Monday and most people I know are trying to lead responsible lives right now.  Not that that’s my thing at all!

So we have some drinks etc and I end up back at theirs.  Both separately inform me at this point that I’m sleeping on the couch.  I’ve slept in both of their beds multiple times and I actually wasn’t really pushing to bang.  I mean I was genuinely upset.  The thing is I’m not the kind of man who sleeps on a girls couch anymore.  That guy just doesn’t exist here.

So I called a cab and I rolled out of there.  They straight up pushed against one of my boundaries and I will not have a girl in my life who thinks I’m couchworthy.  You must be joking.

Recently I had a similar issue with boundaries with someone over a work issue.  I had to be extremely firm and explain what my boundaries are and that I will not cross them or allow them to be broken, even for financial gain.

If you constantly let people move your barriers, whether they strorm through like a German blitzkrieg or instead use a battle of inches like on my Date with an Author, you will end up with exactly no territory.  People have a natural inclination to treat you like crap if you allow them to.  The moment someone stops respecting you, you have lost everything.

So start taking yourself and your boundaries seriously.  Decide what you will and will not accept in your life, at work and with your friends.  You will see major differences.