This Is Actually Happening

Behind the closed doors of government offices and military compounds, are hidden stories and buried secrets from the darkest corners of history. Each week, Luke Lamana, a Marine Corp Reconnaissance Veteran, pulls back the curtain on what once was classified information exposing the secrets and lies behind the world’s most powerful institutions. From the hitmakers at Wondery and Ballen Studios, we bring you REDACTED: Declassified Mysteries with Luke Lamana. The stories are real, and the secrets are shocking. Listen Now: http://wondery.fm/REDACTED See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Haunted by the chaos of her family and teenage years, a young woman finally finds refuge and belonging in a solid new group of friends, but after a camping trip ends in tragedy, she must find a new pathway to acceptance.

Growing up a lonely latchkey kid, a young boy numbs himself with drugs and alcohol, but after one night of binging, a surge of violent rage changes his life forever, spiraling from depths of depravity to the heights of redemption.

Join famed attorney Marcia Clark as she unravels the shocking story of Nicola Gobbo, a criminal lawyer who turned informant on her own clients - some of Australia’s most dangerous gangsters. Informants: Lawyer X is true crime story with the kinds of twists and turns you’d only believe if it were absolutely true and it’s available exclusively on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify, and gain early and ad-free access to this and more thrilling Exhibit C true crime shows right now! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A self-described geek finds his voice as a sci-fi author and amasses an audience on social media, but after he posts a seemingly innocuous tweet, a hoard of internet stalkers fixate on destroying his life.

A woman born into the notorious Mormon cult, Church of the Firstborn, grows up in constant fear of their fatal practice of “blood atonement”, but after suffering under the oppression of her husband and caretaking his multiple wives, she plots a daring international escape.

After rising as a teenage drug dealer in Oklahoma, a man joins a larger operation after meeting his soulmate and shadowy chemist, but as his power grows, he becomes a guinea pig in an underworld much darker than he bargained for.

After coming out and finding self-acceptance, a man faces his greatest physical and emotional struggle yet when a celebratory skydive takes a terrifying turn.

After facing years of abuse, a determined woman dedicates her life to the pursuit of success, becoming a renowned broadcaster, fundraiser and cyclist; but after a grueling, multi-continental bike ride, she faces ultimate darkness, forcing her to confront the deepest wounds of all.

After healing from a major trauma as a teenager, featured in Episode 111 of this show, our storyteller returns to share a dramatic follow up. In this episode, in the wake of his grandmother’s death, he begins taking a volatile medication cocktail and suffers a severe manic break, living on the streets among society’s most disregarded, confronting his deepest shadows and being forced to piece his life back together once again.

A teenage boy comes of age through an eclectic mentor, but ends up in the arms of a predator.

Growing up in poverty with an absent father, a boy finds family in a gang, but after his best friend is murdered, he unravels into a spiral of rage, violence, prison, and ultimately, an unexpected forgiveness.

An ambitious mother settles with her two sons into the quiet, idyllic life of her dreams, but after losing her son in a massacre that shakes the nation, she dedicates her life to carrying on her son’s message of love.

A Port Authority employee narrowly escapes from the 68th floor after a plane hits the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001, but the most devastating impact comes from the psychological wounds that haunt her life for decades after.

A horrific accident leaves a man severely disabled, but after hitting rock bottom in his recovery a new life opens he could never have imagined. Listen to exclusive episodes of This is Actually Happening ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/this-is-actually-happening/ now.

A mother faces the ultimate tragedy at the hands of those who are supposed to protect and serve.

Growing up in a home of abandonment and neglect, a teenager finds a grand, new reality in the rabbit hole of addiction until they can no longer find their way back.

Growing up in the projects and a broken home, a man learns survive on the streets through dealing drugs and brutal violence, when a desperate moment leaves him with a choice that changes everything.

This episode is a recording of a live event held at Manny’s in San Francisco on July 24th, 2024. In this live recording of the event, Whit Missildine hosts conversations with two of the storytellers in the 82 Percent series, David Jay and Koe Creation, as well as with members of the Modern Family Institute including Lily Lamboy, Heath Schechinger and Marlon Williams.  If you’d like to find out more about the Modern Family Institute, donate to help advance their work, or get engaged, please visit their website, modernfamilyinstitute.org.  Producers: Whit Missildine Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual themes, explicit language   Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Twitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus   Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper   Services If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988  National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264 National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

An obstetrician must find healing and forgiveness after an unexpected tragedy opens old wounds.

In this special bonus episode, Whit Missildine interviews Alex Chen. Alex Chen is the Founding Director of the Harvard Law School LGBTQ+ Advocacy Clinic and a founding member of Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. In this conversation we discuss the legal and historical roots of the nuclear family, monogamy and the challenges and successes in the fight for rights for diverse family structures.

At 16 years old, Kris marries Brandon, the love of her life, but after Brandon suffers a severe traumatic brain injury, Kris must restructure everything about how she imagined what her family would be.

Assigned female at birth, Kayden Coleman navigates abuse, racism, housing insecurity, and a deep questioning of gender, but after finally accepting who he is and transitioning fully to being a man, he finds out he’s pregnant.

After immigrating from Brazil to the US, a man struggles with isolation, depression, faith and sexual orientation, when one day an awakening leads him on a path to celibacy and to a family he never thought he’d have.

In this special bonus episode, Whit Missildine interviews Jessica Fern. Jessica Fern is a renowned psychotherapist, trauma and relationship expert, and the author of two books: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non-Monogamy, and Polywise: A Deeper Dive into Navigating Open Relationships. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love.

Growing up in the crack epidemic surrounded by gangs, drugs, and violence a man begins repeating these patterns of abuse and infidelity in his relationships, but after a family tragedy, he finds a new path, opening his marriage and his heart.

As a child growing up in a polyamorous family and community, Koe Creation learns to navigate the beauty and complications of their upbringing, but once they begin to find and express their own voice, they face society’s larger shadows.

In this special bonus episode, Whit Missildine interviews Heath Schechinger and Lily Lamboy of the Modern Family Institute @modernfamilyinstitute, collaborators on our six-part miniseries, “The 82%: Modern Stories of Love and Family.” In this conversation we discuss the historical roots of the nuclear family and monogamy, how family and relationship structures have changed over the 20th century, the contemporary landscape of diverse families and Consensual Non-Monogamy, and the future of love and family.

A man grows up waiting for his sexuality to bloom, but after that moment never comes, he feels a longing for intimacy that leads him to transform the meaning of partnership, family and fatherhood for himself and for society.

A woman growing up in worn torn Columbia comes to the US and builds a new life, but when she suffers a freak accident and loses her sense of self, a new beginning transforms the scars of her past.

After a childhood feeling unworthy of love and belonging, a man finds his path to the Coast Guard and a solid marriage, but after a minor back injury, he’s prescribed painkillers that send him on a tragic spiral of addiction.

Growing up in the remote Ozark mountains with a mother who believed she was God and a father with deeper abuses, a man paves his own rocky healing path to become a healer for others.

Growing up with a mother who used practiced an abusive form of spiritual voodoo, a man seeks to numb his pain, but after tragedy and a descent into crack addiction, he finally finds the cure he’d been looking for.

Escaping her troubled past, a suburban mother finds stability in marriage and family, but when her reality suddenly begins to fall apart, she descends into an underworld of chaos.

A woman spirals into drug use, coping with an abusive childhood, a failing marriage and post-partum depression, but on the road to recovery, her daughter goes missing and a new realm of horror opens.

A Thai-Filipino-American man fulfills his life-long dream of escaping his chaotic past and joining the Army, but after lingering scars from multiple deployments to Iraq threaten to destroy him, he finds an unexpected awakening.

Growing up with a narcissistic father, a woman learns to play small, but one night when an unknown masked man enters her room, she faces the worst night of her life, and emerges on the other side with a new found ferocity.

After his mother falls in love with Frank, the member of a one-hit-wonder 80s band, a man’s life becomes a roller coaster of neglect, scams, and chaos, but when he turns the camera on the inside of his family, a new world opens he never thought possible.

After losing her entire family at ten years old, a woman’s grief evolves into a self-destructive rage, and as systems of care, punishment and rehabilitation keep failing her, she’s forced to create her own path to healing.

Growing up queer, bullied and abused in a heavily religious community, a man tries and to change his sexual orientation through prayer, but as he pieces his life together and heals past harms, tragedy and misfortune raise more questions than answers.

Finally finding love and marriage after feeling unworthy of romance, a woman develops symptoms of a mysterious and debilitating illness, but in the roller coaster of recovery, her husband’s mental illness creates a new level of chaos.

An Indigenous woman from the Standing Buffalo Dakota Nation whose grandparents suffered the horrific abuses of the Canadian Indian residential schools finds her own path to healing amidst the ravages of generational trauma on her family and community.

After being kidnapped by her mother in a custody battle, a woman finds herself cut off and under the thumb of an abusive stepmother, but after years of chaos and yearning, she finally learns the devastating truth.

Endowed with a strong drive from a young age, a woman becomes a workaholic and marries a wonderful man with similar ambitions, but when he faces a failing project, life-long toxic work patterns come to a tragic conclusion.

Soon after returning from a long trip abroad, Whit Missildine, our creator and host of the show, suddenly blacked out and entered a non-responsive seizure state, but as he woke up to a new reality, struggling to put himself back together again, the gifts from the show itself offered exactly the medicine he needed.

An impromptu hiking trip turns suddenly to disaster.

Growing up with a sense of heroic duty, a man becomes a cop fighting the drug war, when the sobering realities of his job lead him to profound awakening.

A woman growing up in poverty in Jamaica is abandoned by her mother at an early age, and as her story of unworthiness deepens, she falls prey to a cruel world.

After learning to endure a toxic relationship with his father, a man crafts a ‘good life’ filled with the privileges of success, but only when he finds himself on the other side of death’s door does he find out what it really means to be alive.

Growing up in a family full of secrets, a woman experiences a complex trauma and buries a secret of her own, but after finding her passion in medicine, she is faced with dilemma that brings everything to the surface.

A young woman on a backpacking trip in Bali faces a series of misfortunes, but just as she’s leaving for the next chapter of her journey, her future is thrown into darkness.

A young man looking for a quick way to get rid of student loan debt gambles with his life and nearly pays the ultimate price

A woman with severe harm OCD encounters the many faces of death and dying but finds renewal in caring for others and ultimately herself.

After tragedy strikes a Vietnamese refugee family, a young man finds his new home in a violent gang, forever marking his life path through acts of destruction and redemption.

Growing up in a broken home with a loving mother, a woman faces disturbing and routine abuse from her brother, but after it escalates, and the unthinkable happens, the terror never ends.

A woman experiences a childhood trauma, facing silence and betrayal in the aftermath, but a when unexpected tragedy comes, the answers begin slipping out of reach.

Growing up with a solid Midwestern childhood, and man discovers the wonders of the Hawaiian ocean, when one day a terrifying encounter changes everything.

After falling into a co-dependent relationship, a woman’s boyfriend begins a bewildering decline, but after losing his battle, she awakens to a deeper understanding of grief, death and generational patterns of trauma and silence.

Growing up with a controlling and mentally abusive mother, a woman suffers from a severe eating disorder that leaves her hopeless, until she discovers Medical Assistance in Dying, a program in Canada whereby people can receive assistance from a medical practitioner to voluntarily end their life.

After finally deciding to settle into a long term relationship, a woman becomes tangled in a web of confusion, guilt and grief as her partner self-destructs

Navigating a chaotic upbringing, a man finds his path through sports, military and grueling police work, but as the scars from Iraq, the domestic violence unit, and corrupt police politics mount, he pursues a dark reckoning to try to recover his humanity.

Finally emerging from her critical and violent home life, a teenager suffers a freak electrocution from a downed power line, sending unexpected shockwaves through her and her family.

Bullied from a young age, a woman’s insecurities lead her to a highly toxic relationship she can’t shake, but when she moves into a new life, an even greater threat lurks.

Growing up in a very strict Persian-Indian-American family with an abusive father, a woman vows never to get married and repeat her parents cycle, but after her father arranges for her to meet her future husband, everything changes.

Escaping a world of gangs and drugs, a man joins the military and becomes a veteran of Iraq, but the scars from his past, PTSD and a TBI haunt him until a fateful day when he faces the ultimate demons.

A chaotic upbringing leaves a woman with chronic depression, but after the birth of her first child, she enters a new level of chaos from which she struggles to return.

A woman with a severe eating disorder and addiction finds inspiration in the strength of a religious community and a woman who has beaten the odds, but when the illusions begin to crumble, a deeper source of strength emerges.

Growing up in poverty, a man finds an outlet in a racist metal band, when one day fate transforms him and he pursues an unlikely marriage, but when his wife begins to switch, new identities emerge that stretch the limits of love.

A woman leaves behind the wounds of her alcoholic father, only to find out that her husband’s addiction is threatening to ruin their family; but when he goes to find healing through a plant medicine ceremony, a shocking, darker truth is revealed.

After facing abuse at a young age, a man develops a festering, unseen sense of emptiness that finds expression in an act of violence that would haunt him forever.

Going from a highly privileged family to college at Princeton to a career as the first male supermodel, Hoyt Richards was truly living the dream, but as he fell deeper under the influence of magnetic mentor, he started living a secret life that threatened to consume him.

Growing up with undiagnosed autism and confronting her mother’s death at a young age, a woman struggles to understand herself and her family, but when her father commits an incomprehensible act, she is left tragically bewildered

Being born without his right hand, man’s resentment and monstrous self-image deepen as family and doctors intervene to fix his condition, leading him to question what would truly make him whole.

After growing up with a father she could never fully please and a trauma she couldn’t share, a woman is slowly groomed into an underworld of sex work beyond what she bargained for.

Growing up Muslim in the Middle East, a woman juggles the chaotic expectations of a severely abusive mother with her desire for self-expression; but when she comes into a sexual awakening, a secret world opens where a deeper healing waits.

Grappling with a lifetime of looming abuse from his father and a mother suffering from paralysis, a man decides to cut ties with his parents, only to set in motion a new set of horrors that threaten to decimate his entire family.

After escaping a childhood of bewildering traumas, a woman gives herself fully to a charming man with dark secrets, but when justice comes, she awakens to new self-insights and a unique superpower.

Escaping the tumult and abuses of his childhood through music, a young man lands a dream gig at a premiere nightclub in Mexico, but when the party’s over, he finds himself inside the underbelly that lurks beneath the glamour.

Growing up in a family of ex-Scientologists, a person finds solace in relationships, when they suddenly fall in love with someone calling everything in their life into question while descending into mental illness.

After being subjected to horrific abuses from his schizophrenic father as a child, a man later descends into his own mental illness, but as he struggles to recover, a freak accident unexpectedly awakens him into a new life.

In the wake of her uncle’s untimely death, a woman bears the brunt of her mother’s long mental health decline, struggling to keep her safe from herself, and in the wake of tragedy, finds a way to help thousands of others like her.

From an idyllic childhood in communist Yugoslavia, as a teenager, Mirsad’s world becomes a living nightmare as the Bosnian War brings shelling, torture, murder and ethnic cleansing to his village, leaving deep scars that haunt and transform his life.

A woman buries a series of childhood traumas and falls into a chaotic world of drugs and abuse, but when things turn from darkness to horror, she must make split second, life or death decisions that ultimately bring everything to the surface

After divorcing her first husband and starting a new life, a woman meets The One, but when one night he doesn’t come home, she calls the police and her world is turned upside down.

Struggling to prove himself and find his identity growing up, a man eventually builds a career and begins occasionally helping out a friend with his granite import business, when one day, the dangers of the job become all too real.

A special bonus episode featuring a conversation between TIAH host, Whit Missildine and Connor Sheets, an investigative journalist with the Los Angeles Times who co-produced the Point Blank series. In this conversation we discuss the origins of the series, how Connor originally got the story, the different storytelling approaches of print journalism and podcasting, the highs, lows and astonishing moments in creating the series.

A special bonus episode featuring a conversation between TIAH host, Whit Missildine and Candice DeLong, host of the brilliant podcast, Killer Psyche, discussing the spree killing in Rancho Tehama, the focus of our Point Blank series.

Growing up in a supportive, suburban family, Sheridan Orr shares an idyllic childhood with her brother Kevin, but when he suffers a series of head injuries, things take a turn for the worse and the family suffers the ultimate nightmare as his descent into mental illness results in the spree shooting of Rancho Tehama in 2017.

Two additional victims of the 2017 Rancho Tehama spree killing speak about their experiences in our Point Blank series: First, Jared Tuck, a neighbor of the shooter, who was attacked that morning and witnessed his uncle’s murder; Second, James Woods Jr., a young man who was driving with his father when Kevin Jansen Neal pulled up and shot him in the face.

After a chaotic upbringing and early adulthood, Jessie Sanders carved a life for himself in Rancho Tehama, California and formed a deep friendship, but when his sister reported hearing gunshots at the elementary school that day, Jessie knew exactly what he needed to do, confronting the horror, heroism and traumatic aftermath of loss and violence.

Coming from a career in the military, law enforcement and police dispatch, Ken Yuers found his true calling as a teacher for at-risk youth, and eventually landed a job at Rancho Tehama elementary, when one day in 2017, gunshots outside the classroom brought a horror on him and his students that he never imagined.

After losing her daughter to a freak accident, Sissy Feitelberg focuses on supporting her grandson Gage who lives in Rancho Tehama with his widowed father, Danny, but when a shooting spree begins, a deeper horror falls on the family and leaves Sissy to pick up the pieces.

After navigating a hardscrabble, working-class life, Troy McFadyen finally settles down with his wife in rural California, when one day driving down the road, they are aggressively T-boned by a stranger, and suddenly find themselves in the middle an unthinkable tragedy.

Having grown up in a safe, sheltered home, a woman balances her career, marriage and five children, but one morning, when her husband is traveling on a two-month tour of duty, a man enters her home and a nightmare begins that last well beyond the first 48 hours of hell.

Born to an affluent Mormon family, a boy befriends a rotating set of nannies that help raise him and become part of the family unit, but his favorite nanny starts playing games that reveal darker intentions.

While in the depths of a toxic relationship, a woman begins experiencing a magical, unseen world around her, but on a layover on a flight through LA, the world becomes all too real.

Reeling from the early loss of his father and abuse in the family, a man finds an outlet through cars and becomes a repo agent, but on a routine job one night, he faces a life-altering danger that will change him forever.

A woman struggles to break free from the rules of her strict and sheltered upbringing, but after battling a derealization disorder and finding a new life for herself, she faces a danger she could never have imagined.

A woman grows up in a loving Libyan family in California, but after recession hits and her dad falls on hard economic times, a darkness enters the family that destroys everything.