Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl

Dr. Cheryl, how can I express my true self? Why do I feel the need to hide from the world?  How can I work through my anger? We all play a hundred different roles and contain multitudes, but what are the masks you wear? And who are the goblins, demons, and vampires that plague you?  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features a Dharma Talk where I teach about ideas that can feel much spookier than the ghosts and ghouls of Halloween.  What is your shadow self? What are the parts of yourself you don't like to look at? What are the parts of you that are your darker self from trauma, fear, and need? The more we can look at the masks we wear, the more we can examine the costumes we wear, the more we can have moments of grace and less suffering.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: We sometimes forget we're a whole conglomeration of shifting roles and personality traits (07:51) Where you put your attention, energy goes (24:13) We all have inner demons but when we repress or ignore them, they find their way out—usually in destructive ways (35:47) Hatred is illusory. Hatred is a state of mind that we can learn to see through and dissolve without taking unwholesome action (46:38) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Missed registering for the Become Passion program? We can help you out! The first live class is this weekend.  Email support@drcherylfraser.com and we can try to get you in the back door! Dr. Cheryl, how can I learn to sincerely apologize? Should I be worried that my partner and I fight?  How can I make up with my partner after we argue? Imagine I install a camera in your home and record everything you say to your partner for a week—would you be comfortable sharing that footage with your nearest and dearest? The good, the bad, and the ugly? Or would you be ashamed and embarrassed at how you speak and interact with your sweetheart, especially in times of anger or frustration? Human beings in relationships are going to have disagreements—that’s a fact of life. It sounds harsh, but if most people actually recorded themselves for a week and listened back to the way they spoke to their partner, they would be very disappointed in themselves. The trick is to make sure you and your honey both have the tools to have disagreements that aren’t destructive - disagreements that actually help bring you closer together. I know, right? In this throwback episode, I talk about why a sincere vow to do better is one of the most important tools in your relationship arsenal, and why a mindful apology is an art in and of itself. I teach you the value of what I call “do-over. This love hack  is super   beneficial when you’re arguing with your sweetie. In fact, I’ll show you  how you can start practicing the technique today. Speaking kindly and thoughtfully to your partner is an integral part of a successful relationship. We can’t just sit back and wait for our relationships to become fabulous and earth-shattering—we’re responsible for creating that ourselves...  In This Episode, You Will Learn: If you’re just sitting around and waiting for passion—good luck with that! YOU are responsible for creating a great relationship.  (04:26) When you're agitated, your body floods with adrenaline and cortisol, creating temporary aggression and irrationality (06:24) The opposite of kind speech is ugly speech. This includes name-calling, swearing at one another, and using absolute language. (09:50) If you’re in a relationship with a real, live human being who’s not six feet under, you’re going to have disagreements… and that’s totally fine.  (12:45) Don’t make excuses—apologize like a mofo. (14:44) Your weekly LoveByte. (24:29) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Why is it so important to work on your relationship? Because when you neglect it, it grows stagnant. A love affair is a lot like a garden—if you don't tend to it, it gets overgrown with weeds. Want to revive your communication and your sex life? Are you ready to reignite love, romance, and passion and fall in love with your partner all over again—without years of counseling, silly quick-fix gimmicks, or endless relationship theories that don't give you the tools that actually work? Become Passion kicks off October 11th. Learn more about the program and register HERE. Curious but still want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. “Dr. Cheryl, why is my marriage so boring?” “How do I make my relationship more fun?” “Is it over for me and my partner?” Join me today for part four of my chat with my hubby where we talk about all things Become Passion, including some of our favorite moments from past sessions and all the ways we work on our love. In This Episode, You Will Learn: My Become Passion program is kicking off THIS Friday—and there are still a few slots left for couples just like YOU (01:04) My hubby and I made our own marriage missteps before we found each other (04:33) The desire to know each other's hopes and dreams is what tends to die in the first couple years of a relationship (09:46) If you’re bored with your partner, it's because your own mind is boring (13:27) If you want to create meaningful change, you need to be able to bring up and gently hold the resentments and the hurts of the years gone by (31:13) Today’s LoveByte (39:47) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

I'm a sex expert— That means my sex life is like a romantic comedy mixed with an erotic novel, right? Well, a lot of that used to be true, but things don’t always stay all sunshine, butterflies, and constant bunny rabbit sex… Want to revive your communication, romance, and sex life? Learn and practice The 3 Keys To Great Relationship so you can become one of those rare couples who are deeply connected, happy, romantic & affectionate with my FREE online Passion Masterclass.  Register now - pick the day and time that work for you and your partner! Want to know more about my 3 month couples program? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. “Dr. Cheryl, why don’t my partner and I connect like we used to?” “How do I spice up my sex life with my spouse?” “Am I in a sexless marriage?” Join me today for part three of my chat with my hubby where we cover sensuality and all things sex—when it's easy, when it's not, and what to do about it. In This Episode, You Will Learn: My FREE Passion masterclass is happening the first week of October—and I won’t be teaching it for another 18 months  The lust you have for a stranger is a fleeting thing (05:57) Menopause can cause a radical downshift in a couple’s sex life (15:38) Sexuality is neglected in long term couples—but there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not having constant spontaneous desire (21:09) There are biological reasons for our lust to fade in a long term relationship (29:36)  Top Tip? Schedule Sex! Today’s LoveByte (39:19) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

What does a love and sex expert do when she gets into an argument with her husband? She acts like an absolute queen, uses all of her skills and never makes a mistake, and should win an Oscar for incredible communication skills, right? Well, it’s not quite so simple… Want to revive your communication, romance, and sex life? Learn and practice The 3 Keys To Great Relationship so you can become one of those rare couples who are deeply connected, happy, romantic & affectionate with my FREE online Passion Masterclass.  Register now - pick the day and time that work for you and your partner! Want to know more about my 3 month couples program? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. “Dr. Cheryl, why is open communication so hard?” “How can I be more honest with my sweetheart?” “Why are my partner and I constantly fighting?” Join me today for part two of my chat with my hubby where we’re talking about communication, conflict resolution, and the intimacy side of the Passion Triangle.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: My FREE Passion masterclass is happening the first 3 days of October—and I won’t be teaching it for another 18 months (03:20) The rituals that my hubby and I practice to stay connected (07:25) When a person is emotionally flooded, all sense goes out the window (13:26) Touch can be a great way to come back into alignment after a nasty fight (19:25) There's more to partnership than just coexisting under the same roof (26:37) Today’s LoveByte (40:35) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Meet my hubby! Ever wondered what it would be like to be married to a world famous sex and love expert? On today’s episode, I’m sitting down for an interview with my very own hubby to get his take on all things Sex, Love, and Elephants. We talk about how important it is to keep the Thrill alive - and how we do that ourselves. Are you ready to create love and passion that last a lifetime? The doors for my exclusive 12-week immersion program open October 1! Join me for one of my FREE WORKSHOPS in early October to learn more. Click here to join the Become Passion waitlist today.  “Dr. Cheryl, how can I treat my partner better? “What are some ways to connect more fully with my spouse?” “Why is my relationship so boring now vs when we were first dating?” We’re all human beings with our own issues, our own patterns, childhoods, and previous relationships. Sometimes, those things can ambush us and our partners… and even renowned sex and love professionals aren’t immune to it! Want to know more about my program? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: This October is your last chance to join my Become Passion program for an entire year (02:52) The danger of Marriage Incorporated and boredom (05:19) Placing your hand over your partner’s heart can activate the parasympathetic nervous system and help them to calm down (06:59) My hubby and I waited to have sex for the first five weeks of dating—and it made that intimacy all the more exciting (11:37) Why THRILL is so important and how you and your sweetheart need to make an effort to keep romance, spark, and interest alive (21:02) Today’s LoveByte (36:39) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Are you ready to create love and passion that last a lifetime? The doors for my exclusive 12-week immersion program open October 1!  Join me for one of my FREE WORKSHOPS in early October to learn more. Click here to join the Become Passion waitlist today.  “Dr. Cheryl, I screwed up my relationship… Please HELP!” “How can I fix my broken marriage?” “Is there a way to bring back the intimacy and thrill in my relationship?” If you and your honey could begin again, how would you do things differently? Maybe you weren’t so attentive when you were dating, maybe last week when you had an ugly repeating argument, or  maybe you realized you were neglecting a really important aspect of your relationship…  On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you how my Passion Triangle can allow you and your sweetheart to develop a whole new perspective on your relationship. Unless somebody out there has a time machine, it’s impossible to go back and redo those earlier phases—but if you could do it over again, would you? Want to know more about my program? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: The Become Passion program starts this October and is full of real couples with real problems—just like you and your sweetie (02:25) My Passion Triangle is made up of sensuality, thrill, and intimacy (04:38) Intimacy is more than sex, it’s about psychological communication, too (07:15) Many couples have repeating issues and arguments because most of us were never taught conflict resolution (11:17) Thrill means making the effort to fall in love again with the one we're already with (17:59) 30-40% of long term couples are in what is clinically defined as a sexless relationship (21:11) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl, why are relationships so hard?!” “Is there an easier way to connect with my partner?” “My spouse and I no longer ‘click’—what’s wrong with us?” Today’s Sex, Love, and Elephants is another flashback to my Summer of Love series from a few years ago. In it, I talk about why we struggle so much with the thing we longed for AND why that struggle doesn’t make us a bad person.  Tune in and hear what I’ve learned from my decades of work with couples just like you. Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program!  Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: We all are with the wrong person if we expect them to make us happy all the time (04:07) In my Become Passion program, you’ll learn to how to fall back in love with the one you're already with (07:41) Having a great relationship isn’t easy—it takes real, hard work (10:24) We’ve all got baggage, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing (21:26) Love Stinks and it's not your fault (24:03) This week’s LoveByte (28:06) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl, our sex life is so boring! How can we bring fun back to our bedroom?”  “Why don’t I ever feel horny toward my partner anymore?” “How do I know if my relationship is great?” Today’s Sex, Love, and Elephants is part of a series of my all-time favorite couples Q&A episodes that I did a few summers ago. In it, I’m teaching you my 3 predictors of a great relationship and sharing some really dire stats on the sex lives of average North Americans—that you DON’T have to fall into! Tune in and hear what I’ve learned from my decades of work with couples just like you. Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program!  Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: “Nipple, nipple, crotch, good-night” sex is totally common… and totally boring (05:10) The three keys to a great relationship: intimacy, communication, conflict resolution (07:37) We all want sex to be spontaneous… but scheduling intimacy is one of the major keys to getting your spark back (10:17) The majority of long term couples make love from a place of sexual neutrality—and it’s actually very sexy! (15:30) Waiting around for spontaneous desire is kind of like waiting around for your teenager to spontaneously offer to clean out the garage (18:04) This week’s LoveByte (28:45) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl… I feel like my wife and I are more friends and roommates than lovers. How can we bring sexy back?”  “Why do men only care about sex and not romance?” “What are some great date ideas to reconnect with my partner?” Today’s Sex, Love, and Elephants is part of a series of my all-time favorite couples Q&A episodes that I did a few summers ago. In it, I’m busting the myth that men don’t care about romance and telling you why dates are one of the most exciting parts of dating. I also teach you why the thrill of the chase is so important evolutionarily, why we have to learn to make time alone with one another, and why it’s so easy to fall into a pattern of relationship complacency. Tune in and hear what I’ve learned from my decades of work with couples just like you. Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program! This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts this October. Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: It’s not just women who miss the romance when it leaves a relationship (07:59) The excitement of dating comes from the chase and the courtship (12:40) Dates aren’t a place to talk about the kids or the household concerns, they’re a place to connect on a one-on-one level (15:57) The adventure date, the cooperation date, and the curiosity date are all great ideas for reconnecting with your sweetheart (17:14) This week’s LoveByte (34:30) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl, can my honey and I become more compatible?”  “I’m a homebody and my partner is a social butterfly… will our relationship last?” “How can a couple succeed in love even if they’re very different?” Today’s Sex, Love, and Elephants is part of a series of some of my all-time favorite couples Q&A episodes that I did a few summers ago. In it, I’m talking about introverts, extroverts, and extroverted introverts.  I’m also telling you that YES, it is possible to make things work between two very different people and how compatibility begins in the mind.  Tune in and hear what I’ve learned from my decades of work with couples just like you. Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program!  Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: An introvert replenishes with quiet and solitude (03:20) Compatibility with your partner is all in your head (10:08) You can be rapturously happy, deeply in love, and have an extraordinary relationship—even if you are wildly different people (11:39) Oftentimes the differences aren’t the problem... The problems come when we fail at our approach (16:40) If you focus on the ways you’re not compatible—on the big and small irritations—you will fester a growing wound (19:22) This week’s LoveByte (26:31) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl… Why am I so turned on by the idea of being sexually dominated?”  “How can I explore my sexual fantasies?” “Is it healthy to indulge in sexual fantasy? Today’s Sex, Love, and Elephants is part of a series of my all-time favorite couples Q&A episodes that I did a few summers ago. In it, I’m talking all about the beauty of sexual fantasies, why they’re healthy, and I’m debunking some ideas from that popular erotic book series.  Tune in and hear what I’ve learned from my decades of work with couples just like you. Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program!  Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: 50 Shades of Grey is a dumb book—but there’s a reason it captured so many imaginations (5:04) The number one heterosexual female fantasy? Ravishment (08:24) The ravishment fantasy is so pervasive because it gives women a way to justify their raw sexual energy (12:20) Exploring your sexual fantasies is healthy and empowering as long as it's not hurting anyone and everyone gives consent (20:58) My new favorite Netflix show features the Mary Poppins of sex and makes couples’ fantasies a reality (24:45) This week’s LoveByte (27:49) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Resources mentioned: How to Build a Sex Room on Netflix Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl, is it time to break up with my verbally abusive partner?”  “My partner and I fall into verbally abusive patterns, how can we overcome this?” “How do I know if my spouse is verbally abusing me?” Today’s Sex, Love, and Elephants is part of a series of some of my all-time favorite couples Q&A episodes that I did a few summers ago. In it, I’m sharing my advice for those of you that are wondering if verbal abuse in a relationship can ever be overcome. Tune in and hear what I’ve learned from my decades of work with couples just like you. Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program!  Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: How to identify verbal abuse (4:34) The importance of taking a time out when you’re flooded (11:57) An example of a non-verbally abusive, highly emotional person (16:39) That there are countless ways to learn how to fight fair, apologize, and forgive (24:46) If you should break up with your verbally abusive partner (27:50) This week’s LoveByte (30:39) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“ Dr. Cheryl, my honey and I never fight… Is that okay?”  “My partner avoids all conflict with me, what can I do?” “How can my spouse and I learn to communicate more effectively?” Today’s Sex, Love, and Elephants is part of a series of some of my all-time favorite episodes that I did a few summers ago. In it, I talk about why a lack of conflict can spell major issues for your relationship—and what you can do to help before it’s too late. Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program!  Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Zero conflict can spell trouble for your relationship (04:29) Everyone has a different communication style—which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (05:29) Your health and happiness in your relationship may be in trouble if you don't learn how to talk about the difficult topics (07:02)  There’s nothing wrong with you if your nature is to avoid conflict, but it isn’t healthy to sweep things under the rug (09:31) A technique to begin cleaning out all that crap under the rug (14:49) This week’s LoveByte (21:05) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl, is it time for me to leave my relationship?” “I think my marriage is over… will I regret my decision to split?” “How do I know if there’s still hope for my sweetheart and me?” Today’s Sex, Love, and Elephants is the first in a series of some of my all-time favorite episodes that I did a few summers ago. In it, I talk about when to give your relationship another shot—and when it’s time to let it go. This episode is a couples Q&A series with one of my number one most asked questions: “How do I know when it’s time to leave?”  Tune in and hear what I’ve learned from my decades of work with couples just like you.  Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program!  Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: When is it time to leave a relationship? Only you and your partner can answer that—but I can help you decide (03:47) But…If you are in a dangerous, sexually coercive, physically or otherwise abusive relationship, this episode is not for you. Please seek crisis help immediately (07:05) Research shows that about 50% of people who leave a committed relationship DO regret it. Maybe it’s not too late to begin again (12:03) Chances are, if you leave one committed relationship, you’ll recouple. That’s our nature as a species. (13:53) So much of our relationship misery can be rehabilitated (23:04) This week’s LoveByte (33:58) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. “Dr. Cheryl, my spouse is driving me crazy! How can I fall in love with them again?” “I’m constantly annoyed by my partner, is it time to break up?” “Why is my sweetheart always doing things to piss me off?!” Think about a negative thought you’ve had about your partner—one that you might not be so eager to share publicly. Maybe they were late for a meaningful dinner, maybe they neglected an important chore, or maybe they even forgot about your anniversary… You were probably pretty irritated, right? But what if I were to tell you that it’s all about the way you react? On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you how to love what is and how we can be more grateful for the extraordinarily lucky lives that we lead.  The stories you tell yourself can ruin your relationship, ruin your happiness, and even ruin your health.  If you’re upset, disgruntled, or put off by your partner’s mundane mistakes or actions, it's your problem, not your sweetie’s. In This Episode, You Will Learn: 87 to 92% of people eventually recouple after a divorce, a break up, or being widowed (01:24) The misery in your head is in your head (05:27) Don’t allow a negative story to take up room in your head and ruin your day (08:41) Changing a behavioral habit is hard and it takes repetition (14:51) You are the one who makes yourself happy or not (18:12) Today’s LoveByte (22:34) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. “Dr. Cheryl, my marriage is so boring—HELP!” “How can I bring back the magic and spark to my relationship?” “Why was my partner so much more attractive when we were first dating?” Don't wait for a wake up call. Don't wait for an affair. Don't wait until your husband gets a diagnosis that scares the hell out of you—and don't wait for a sudden death. Don't wait until it's too late to show up and love the one you love. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you all about Marriage Incorporated and how you can best avoid complacency and boredom in your relationship… before it’s too late. You want to learn how to have a much better, stronger relationship.  Today, we’re talking about cultivating more love, more interest, more kindness, more peacefulness, and how to really be more like we were when we were falling in love. In This Episode, You Will Learn: If you are in Marriage Incorporated, you may be having a really nice life, but you’re roommates, not partners (06:30) You were a lot nicer to your partner when you were dating (16:20) If you lose your partner suddenly, you’ll quickly realize that, no matter how fraught the relationship has been, you’ll have regrets if you haven't loved well (17:41) All too often in this short, wonderful, and precious life, we run out of time (23:06) Your weekly LoveByte (32:27) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube  Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is one of my favorites from the early days of the podcast. In it, I talk about why a sincere vow to do better is one of the most important tools in your relationship arsenal, and why a mindful apology is an art in and of itself.  If I installed a camera in your home and recorded everything you said to your partner for a week—would you be comfortable sharing that footage with your nearest and dearest? The good, the bad, and the ugly? Or would you be ashamed and embarrassed at how you speak and interact with your sweetheart, especially in times of anger or frustration? Human beings in relationships are going to have disagreements—that’s a fact of life. It sounds harsh, but if most people actually recorded themselves for a week and listened back to the way they spoke to their partner, they would be very disappointed in themselves. The trick is to make sure you and your honey both have the tools to have disagreements that aren’t destructive—disagreements that actually help bring you closer together. I know, right? In This Episode, You Will Learn: YOU are responsible for creating a great relationship (04:26) When you're agitated, your body floods with adrenaline and cortisol, creating temporary aggression and irrationality (06:24) The opposite of kind speech is ugly speech (09:50) If you’re in a relationship with a real, live human being, you’re going to have disagreements… and that’s totally fine. (12:45) Don’t make excuses—apologize like a mofo (14:44) Your weekly LoveByte (24:29) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. “Dr. Cheryl, why am I so unhappy?” “I’m always upset—How can I learn to go with the flow?” “Nothing good ever happens to me, what’s the secret to happiness?” Why is it that we’re so puzzled about the fundamental ground of what leads to more happiness and less suffering? As it turns out, there is a way to be happy for no reason, a way to have a better, healthier relationship with the person you love, and a way to be a better person. Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features a Dharma Talk that I gave last month on happiness, negativity, and the coping mechanisms we use to deal with it all.  Tune in and hear my teachings about the most universal experiences that none of us get to escape and the fact that we, as humans, don’t get to change reality.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: We’re all going to die—it’s important to make time for wholesome activities (01:40) Reality sucks sometimes, mortality and loss and suffering is real (10:01) How we react to big, difficult, painful losses is our choice (18:57) We cling and try to manipulate reality so it works for us, but it’s a fool's errand (25:48) Today’s LoveByte (50:54) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz  “Dr. Cheryl, why am I always so pessimistic about my relationship?” “How can my partner and I be more positive about one another?” “Why can’t my sweetheart do anything right?!” It may be 2024, but we still have brains that evolved from the cave days. Over the eons, our brains have developed certain survival patterns that have held on in even the most intelligent minds. One of those leftover base instincts that we’re still coping with today is negativity bias and it just might be the biggest issue in your relationship. On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you all about negativity bias and the importance of thinking positively about your partner. Today is all about training your mind to do a better job of defaulting toward a positive point of view. I’m giving you a few short examples and some more elaborate models and exercises that you can do to bolster your relationship with your sweetheart. In this episode, you’ll learn: If your partner is consistently rude and condescending—even if it’s not directed toward you—it needs to be addressed (03:40) Our minds tend to look for what's wrong and not what’s right (08:05) You do NOT have to say every negative thing that comes to mind (15:32) Sharing a home and sharing a life demands graceful compromise (17:04) Today’s LoveByte (26:11) Have questions about meditation or about your relationship? Send them to us at Hello@drcherylfraser.com. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz  “Dr. Cheryl, my partner and I haven’t had sex in months—PLEASE HELP!” “Why does sexual desire slow down in long term relationship? “How can I bring back the sex and passion to my relationship?” You've heard me say it before on this podcast: Sexless relationships are way more common than you think. The definition for a sexless relationship is one where sex is had six or fewer times per year. That means that if you’re making love but it’s only once every two months or so, you and your sweetheart are in what is defined as a “sexless” or “lower sex” relationship.  On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you all about sexless relationships and the solutions out there that can work for you.  Many of you may have not made love for years… And that’s way more common than you think. One of the biggest problems is that no one talks about it, so we end up having a lot of shame, embarrassment, and confusion around those changes instead of finding a solution that works for our relationship.  In this episode, you’ll learn: We're so busy running our lives that we often lose each other (03:53) Make your sensual life a priority—especially if you’re in a long term relationship (10:33) Sometimes, we get so good at running our lives like a business that we know longer see our partner as a sexual being (11:48) The idea of scheduled intimacy doesn’t sound romantic but it just may save your sex life (14:41) Today’s LoveByte (23:06) Have questions about meditation or about your relationship? Send them to us at Hello@drcherylfraser.com. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl, how can I shake up my boring relationship?” “Why does it feel like we’re roommates instead of lovers?” “How can my sweetheart and I learn to live and love in the moment?” One of the worst silent killers in relationships is when we find ourselves slowly falling into complacency and boredom overtime. When we lose that loving feeling, it can lead to major disappointment and dissatisfaction in a relationship but all hope is not lost—there are ways you can reconnect.  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is a short check-in for you and your sweetheart. So often we get caught up in the mundane and, sadly for a lot of us, many times that means that  we’re caught up in irritation with our partner. Whether it’s frustration about a messy house or worries over money, nothing matters as much as valuing and loving your sweetie right now, at this very moment.  Today you’ll learn: Don’t wait for a major life event to tell your honey how much you love them (03:31) Love your partner deeply, wholly, and expansively and love them like there's no tomorrow (04:23) I encourage and challenge each of us to become a great partner and bring more flexibility and more grace because we don't have them forever (08:01) Today’s LoveByte (08:30) Have questions about meditation or about your relationship? Send them to us at Hello@drcherylfraser.com. Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz  Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl, how can I help my constant negative thoughts?” “I’m ALWAYS anxious. Is there a way to quiet my constantly running mind?” “Is it possible to practice kindness?” Meditation is a traditional Buddhist practice that fits very beautifully into the secular world, into the psychology world, into the mindfulness world, and into the world of us trying to be a kinder, more caring human being to ourselves and others. A metta meditation, or a loving kindness meditation, can be practiced whenever you have a bit of time to yourself.  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features a metta meditation from a live Dharma talk that I gave last month.   This is a special episode of the podcast that sounds a little different from the others. This meditation is under 30 minutes long—just make sure you’re free of distractions while you listen. I invite you to come back and use this meditation whenever you feel the need for more calm and balance in your life.  This episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features a metta meditation that begins at (02:19) and ends around (31:00). Have questions about meditation or about your relationship? Send them to us at Hello@drcherylfraser.com. Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz  Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

“Dr. Cheryl, how can I overcome my self doubt? It’s ruining my life!” “How do I break free from the torturous grip that my anxiety has on me?” “Why has my experience with meditation been unfulfilling?” We’ve all had that moment of desire and weakness—a good friend buys a fancy new car and we’re overcome with jealousy. Instead of being happy for them and proud of their hard work, all we can focus on is what we’re lacking. But the remedy to this feeling isn’t to go out and buy a new car yourself. Instead, the answer involves practicing generosity for others and focusing on relieving ourselves of that wanting, selfish feeling.  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features a Dharma Talk that I gave last month about the five hindrances that stand between us and happiness.  The five hindrances get in the way of calm, they get in the way of focus, and they make it harder to accept what is with equanimity—that is, they’re stopping us from being able to go with the flow and to recalibrate ourselves… Without the temper tantrum.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: The hindrances can get in the way of concentrating on the important object (03:51) Even when you're well rested and alert in your physiology, sloth and torpor can come like a shadow over the sun (09:18) The very last wisp of difficulty to disappear before you become a fully awake Buddha is the last vestige of doubt (11:12) We don't have to have a gigantic temper tantrum to feel exhausted, even a small little worry can be fatiguing (16:27) When you slow down in meditation, the mind gets a little more acute, a little more precise, and a little more clear (22:55) Hindrances are like nasty waves that blind us to the calm ocean (28:15) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

The doors to Become Passion are OPEN—make sure you and your sweetheart are signed up before they close on May 3rd!! Join me this Thursday, May 2nd for a very special LIVE Q&A over Zoom - email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com and we will send you the link and time This week on Sex, Love, and Elephants, I take you behind the scenes as I talk with some of my Become Passion students about their relationship struggles and how they overcame… Today, I’m joined by six REAL couples who have participated in my Become Passion training.  Are you ready to create love and passion that last a lifetime? The doors for my exclusive Become Passion program are open now and close May 3rd! This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts May 3rd. A failing relationship doesn’t always look like explosive fights and shouting matches and slamming doors… it can just as easily look like apathy and boredom and quiet resentment. What matters most is how you chose to bring those issues into the light—and whether or not you’re willing to fight to make things better.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: This Wednesday’s LIVE Q&A on ZOOM is your last chance to join me for a free event before we kick off Become Passion (01:20) Karen and Steve didn’t have nasty fights, but they were struggling with their sexuality as they aged (03:57) Between kids, careers, and household responsibility, it’s so easy for a relationship to become Marriage Incorporated (07:30) Lisa and Cam found themselves in flooded arguments that became destructive to their relationship (18:22) Howard and Karen were separated for 6 months before they found Become Passion and learned how to fall in love all over again (22:29) Today’s LoveByte (33:00) Got questions? Email hello@drcherylfraser.com. Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

Ready to renovate your OWN relationship? Be one of the few select couples who join me inside the Become Passion – Create Love that Lasts a Lifetime 12-week online immersion program for couples. To learn more and to join, CLICK HERE We begin May 3rd, 2024 and go through July 26th 2024 In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m going to give you a look inside my Passion Masterclass - a FREE couples workshop I do ONCE  a year. It’s packed with information about the 3 Keys to Passion and much more. I also give you the opportunity to take the next steps in your relationship journey with me as your guide and romance cheerleader! (Yes, you can be both a hopeless romantic and a scientist—fun combination.) Here’s the good news: You are NOT alone and it's NOT too late… even if it feels like it! In fact, on average, over 30% of the long-term couples I see in my practice aren’t having any sex whatsoever.  In this exclusive recording of my Passion MAsterclass you’ll learn about the keys to great relationship and how you can shift your relationship from where it is to where you want it to be. You’ll learn that extraordinary Lifelong Passion is 100% Possible, but you must beware of Marriage Inc. (AKA running your relationship like a business). You’ll also learn how to create much more intimacy, thrill, and sensuality—no matter where your relationship is currently. Want to watch the actual masterclass with video? Click here! In This Episode, You Will Learn: The 3 Keys to Passion – What they are, and Why mastering them will help you cultivate great love and sex that last a lifetime  Intimacy: “Marital Friendship”  Why Learning to Fight Fair is so important. Painful repeating arguments  Thrill: Why it is so difficult to keep the excitement, attraction, and romance going – and what you need to do about it. Getting real Sensuality: How to wake up your erotic life. Did you know most long-term couples make love only a few times a month?  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! Sign up NOW for one of her Passion Masterclasses - choose the time that works best for you. You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd. Doors are not open! You can check it out and join the program HERE  Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you! Marriage 911! What's your emergency?  “We are miserable.When do you know to give up? Or is there a chance this relationship can be saved?” ” Let’s face it, staying in love over the long haul is difficult. You may feel you have fallen out of love, ot you argue all the time, or so it seems. Attraction and desire may feel non-existent. But don’t give up. There are proven steps that can help you renovate your relationship. It takes effort to make long term love work - and I am here to help.  .  On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that reviving the love, communication and yes, even the desire in your  relationship is possible. Whatever you and your partner are experiencing, even when it feels like all hope is lost, it is still possible to begin again  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Falling in love is easy, but staying in love over the long term takes mindfulness, effort, and dedication (0:11) The Become Passion Program involves eight weeks of lessons, live coaching calls with Dr. Cheryl where she answers your confidential questions, and bonuses trrainings with other experts in relationships and sexuality (3:03) The Become Passion 12 week program is an online program (3:44) The number one predictor of health, happiness, longevity, and more, is the quality of our romantic relationship with our companion - so work on it!  (5:07) The Become Passion program is an immersion 3 month program and we do the real work. It’s not easy…but it IS effective. Let’s create the change you desire, starting next week!   (6:13) Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! Sign up NOW for one of her Passion Masterclasses - choose the time that works best for you. You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd. Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you! Marriage 911! What's your emergency?  My partner and I are getting older and our sex life just isn’t what it used to be. What’s happening to us? As we age, we all experience changes in our desire, arousal, and body image. In fact, there are changes in what feels like almost everything to do with our sexual life—whether it’s with our partner or with ourselves.  On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that even if you’ve experienced some big changes to your sex life as you’ve gotten older, there are solutions to the trouble you’re facing. I want you to listen carefully and hear the hope. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: A satisfying sex life for a couple that has at least one male bodied person in it doesn’t have to revolve around a firm erection (01:30) Women can still have great sex post-menopause—it might just look different than before (04:54) It's easy to give up when your bodies aren't responding well, but there are solutions out there (06:17) Sex is a way of connecting erotically, emotionally, and spiritually with our partner and it’s a vital part of life and love (08:21) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! Sign up NOW for one of her Passion Masterclasses - choose the time that works best for you. You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd. Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you! Marriage 911! What's your emergency?  “The thrill is gone!” “I love my partner, but I'm not in love with them any more.”  “We’re no longer lovers—we’re merely roommates.”  If any of these relationship emergencies sound familiar, you’re in the right place. On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that your relationship isn’t over, even if it feels like all the spark has long fizzled out. The house, the kids, and the bills can all overwhelm your romance, but they don’t have to take priority over passion.  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Falling out of love and into Marriage Incorporated is insidious (03:43) Make your love life your hobby (06:13) Great date nights don’t have to be fancy or expensive—but they are so important to schedule (08:28) Big change only happens when we take action (10:27) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Register now for Dr. Cheryl’s FREE Relationship Reboot couples workshop on Zoom - Saturday April 13th 10-1 Pacific time HERE This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! If you want to be the first to know when registration opens make sure you get on the VIP waitlist HERE. You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd. Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you! Marriage 911! What's your emergency?  Dr. Cheryl, HELP! How can I ever get over the pain of my partner’s affair?  Believe it or not, it is possible to recover from a betrayal in your relationship. It may not be easy, but great relationships always revolve around intention. On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you everything you need to know about affairs—and what you and your partner can do in the aftermath to try and reestablish trust in your relationship.  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: There are sexual affairs and emotional affairs and they can be equally devastating (02:18) An emotional affair is when you're sharing intimate hopes and dreams with someone who's not your spouse and your spouse doesn’t know (03:29) All sympathy tends to go to the person who’s been cheated on, but we’re all just bozos on the bus who make mistakes (06:49) No one can earn our trust, they can only choose to act in a trustworthy manner (09:40)  Very few things hurt as much as being betrayed, but there is hope (10:33) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! If you want to be the first to know when registration opens make sure you get on the VIP waitlist HERE. You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd. Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you! Marriage 911! What's your emergency?  So, you’ve just had a flooded argument… Even if you didn't resort to overt verbal abuse like yelling, swearing, or being especially cruel, you know that you said irrational things. But here’s the truth: It's not entirely your fault. When we’re dysregulated, we’re not rational.  On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you about verbal abuse. Verbal abuse has the power to make us spiral—we go down the dark rabbit hole and end up rehashing every old wound, never seeming to get out of that same repeating argument. It isn’t always obvious but it does occur way too often—and it can absolutely destroy your relationship. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Verbal abuse can be bickering, criticizing and nitpicking, and using controlling language (04:09) Giving your partner the silent treatment or a severe lack of communication can also feel abusive (04:37) Learning to self regulate our emotions is one of the most important things we can do for our relationships (06:58) Be kind to your friend… And if you snap, apologize! (07:38) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! If you want to be the first to know when registration opens make sure you get on the VIP waitlist HERE. You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd. Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you! Marriage 911! What's your emergency?  Maybe you feel like it’s time for divorce, or you’ve fallen out of head-over-heels love, or maybe you’re even trying to recover from one of you stepping out on your relationship. Whatever it is,  every long term relationship runs into big obstacles… It’s who we are and what we do together to surmount those obstacles that really matters in the end.  On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you about some of the biggest pain points a couple can have. That includes being on the edge of divorce, struggling with verbal abuse, attempting to recover from an affair, and that dreaded “I love you… but I'm not IN love with you, anymore” feeling. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Feeling alone and lonely in a relationship is very common (04:44) Complacency can ruin a relationship (05:06) Sensuality and sexuality is a beautiful, powerful, important part of who we are as a couple (06:34) 50% of second marriages fail because root problems aren’t being addressed (07:22) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, HELP! My life is absolutely miserable!” “Is micromanagement making me depressed?” “How can I stop myself from playing worst-case scenarios out in my mind?” Does it ever feel like your state of mind is completely out of your control? Like you're lost at Grand Central Station and you can’t find your way? Like you can’t read the signs and you’re wandering aimlessly, trying to board any old train you can find? Sometimes, as it turns out, you’ve unknowingly hopped aboard the Anger train, or the “I-Want-a-Divorce” train, or the “I-Don’t-Know-What-I'm-Going-to-Do-Next” train.  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features part three of a talk I gave in December at a three day self compassion meditation and Buddhism retreat. Tune in and hear my teachings about how you are actually responsible for your mood and for your feelings. That means that if you're miserable, it’s time to get on a different train.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: It's exhausting to micromanage your life (06:22) Stop wanting things to be perfect all the time—it’s making you miserable (09:27) We don't know what’ll happen tomorrow… and whatever happens, we'll be okay (27:24) When you're reacting to other people's needs, you're never on balance (33:55) If you’re willing to experience loneliness, you can discover connection everywhere (40:50) Post physical reminders to show yourself compassion (46:43) Interested in finding out more about Dr. Cheryl’s Dharma teaching? Check out IslandDharma.com for more info.  Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, why am I always so harsh on myself?” “How can I learn to give myself grace?” “Why does it feel like I’m the only one given such a crappy lot?” Do you believe that you count, too? The more kindly and compassionately we treat ourselves, the more our hearts and our minds are freed up to be kinder and more compassionate to our partners. It allows us to build better relationships, be kinder to our work family, our home family, and be kinder to the world.  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features part two of a talk I gave in December at a three day self compassion meditation and Buddhism retreat. Tune in and hear my teachings about what it is that moves us to care about ourselves, our relationships, our kindness, and our compassion… And I hope that will illuminate you to the idea that kindness begins at home. In This Episode, You Will Learn: You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your own love and affection (04:42) Compassion is not defined as “feel better” (09:37) Change because you care about yourself, not because you think you should (15:00) We forget that other people suffer too, which can make us feel very, very alone (18:29) In our culture, self esteem rests on a bit of a shaky foundation (29:52) The opposite of kindness is blame, criticism, lack of wisdom, self hatred, anger, guilt, shame… (41:21) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, how can I learn to give myself a break?” “Why can’t I help but be nasty to my partner?” “What can I do to live a more compassionate life?” How kind are you to your romantic partner? How kind are you to yourself? In our high stress, high activity lives, we can lose sight of the thing that matters the most: compassion for ourselves, for others, for our partner, our family, our friends, and even for strangers.  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features a talk I gave in December at a three day self compassion meditation and Buddhism retreat. Tune in and hear my teachings on being with things as they are, being kind to ourselves, and realizing that happiness is right here, right now. In This Episode, You Will Learn: The popularity and fortune that our culture says will make us happy rarely does (09:48) Happiness is fragile when it's dependent on something outside ourselves (11:38) Your circumstances don't determine your happiness (25:46) Work on being happy and free from suffering first, then work on the circumstances second (27:22) Anger is often a secondary emotion and underneath it is either pain or fear (46:20) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Our sex life is suffering because of my own self image—help!” “How can I learn to stick with my goals?” “What’s the secret to being the best version of me for my sweetheart?” When you think of eating healthy, regular exercise, being intimate with your partner… Are these things you derive pleasure from? Or are these all tasks you check off a list out of a sense of duty? It’s no big secret: if you enjoy something, you’re more likely to stick with it—so why do so many of us seem to forget that simple fact? On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m welcoming my new friend Oonagh Duncan, an inspiring health habit coach who is dedicated to making fitness pleasurable. Oonagh and I talk about the importance of staying healthy for your mate, her journey from overweight smoker to health guru, and why the 80/20 rule is so crucial for long term success.  Interested in joining Oonagh for her 28 day transformation program? Click here to join with a special discount just for SLE listeners! In This Episode, You Will Learn: Oonagh and her husband included staying healthy for one another in their wedding vows (02:33) Choosing to be healthy doesn’t mean never having a glass of wine again (07:32) If you're trying to build a new habit, you need a very specific trigger that's going to set off that habit (23:17) The key to long term fitness is making your habits consistent and pleasurable (27:21) Getting adequate sleep is one of the most important habits you can cultivate (31:30) There is so much power in solidifying your identity as a person with healthy habits (40:41) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Connect with Oonagh: Website Instagram Dr. Cheryl on Goals, Grit, and Some Woo Woo Sh*t Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, how can I improve my relationship?” “All my partner and I do is fight—will we ever stop?” “How can my sweetheart and I bring back the spark we used to have?” Keeping a long term relationship healthy is hard work—there’s no way of getting around that. But that doesn’t mean that having a strong, compassionate, loving, lasting relationship is impossible… It simply means that you both need the right tools in your toolbelt to build it.  On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you my top three tips for building a healthy relationship with actual staying power.  Great relationships don’t just happen by chance. Today, I’m covering a huge part of the foundation of my relationship philosophy: the passion triangle of intimacy, thrill, and sensuality. A triangle is the most stable structure known to man—so why wouldn’t you want to base your relationship on one?  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Conflict and conflict management are an unavoidable part of all relationships (06:23) We’re hardwired to find novelty exciting—that’s why new relationships have that honeymoon phase (11:35) Thrill needs to be cultivated (15:51) We are often more sexually adventurous early on in a relationship when we have less to lose (21:33) Today’s LoveByte (24:29) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, is there really a way to make Valentine’s Day special?” “I have nothing but bad memories around VDay, how can I change that?” “Is there really a way to make a commercialized, overblown holiday romantic?” Show of hands—who here hates Valentine’s Day? It's a heck of a lot of pressure to pull out the greatest romantic experience possible and to do a better job than Hollywood, isn’t it? Well here’s a little secret: While those romcoms and tv shows and romance novels might feel swoon worthy, none of it is real. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m giving you three unusual ideas for Valentine’s Day dates that don’t suck and allow you to make your love intentional. February 14. Cupid, heart shaped boxes of very bad chocolate, a last minute cheesy card and a stuffed animal from the local pharmacy… We’ve all been there. But today, I’m teaching you a way to celebrate Valentine's Day that's a little out of the box and that honors the true meaning of the day. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Valentine's Day is a great excuse to do something warm and wonderful for your special person (01:20) Couples put more effort into being romantic when a relationship is just starting (06:52) First tip - You don’t have to be Shakespeare to write your partner a love letter (08:08) Second tip - Paying it forward to another couple - giving THEM the gift of love - can be an incredibly romantic way to celebrate (13:31) Third Tip - Plan Valentine’s in July - NOW. You don’t have to wait until February 14th to celebrate your love (15:40) Today’s LoveByte (19:10) Did you and your Valentine pay it forward to another couple? We want to hear about it! Email your photos or story to hello@drcherylfraser.com for a chance to win a prize. Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist. Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect! About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, how can I be kinder to my sweetie?” “Why do we speak to each other so rudely and sarcastically?” “How do I stop myself from being so nasty all the time?” Are you kind to your sweetheart? Or do you sometimes find yourself speaking to them with a nastiness you don’t even recognize? It may be hard to admit, but it’s not uncommon to find yourself speaking to your mate far more unkindly than they deserve… And the truth is, you’re so much better than that.  On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you just a few of the ways you can spend 2024 being kinder and speaking more fairly to your honey.  Today, I want to get really real about something that I’m guilty of—and I suspect it’s something quite a few of you might be guilty of, too. It can be easy to find yourself acting sarcastic and insulting toward your mate, but we always have the choice to choose kindness.  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Being rude to our loved ones has become more normalized, but that does not mean you have to take it on (05:36) You have the capacity to stop being nasty at any second (08:10) If you do find yourself being nasty, ask for a do-over and begin again (09:51) Some of us can be unkind and critical without even meaning to (13:55) Today’s LoveByte (14:44) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, how can I spice things up in the bedroom with my sweetheart?” “Why has the heat left our sex life?” “How can I get my lover to be adventurous in bed like we used to be?” Think back to the beginning of your relationship… How spicy or adventurous or open or willing or playful or hot or uninhibited were you? And why aren’t you and your lover that way anymore? Often when we make deeper steps towards commitment, the stakes are higher. We're more vulnerable than in those first few months and we become more fearful of rejection. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you my biggest tips to bring the spice back to the bedroom in your long term relationship. Are you willing to settle for “nice” as the benchmark for success for your sexual life? I know that’s not true for most of you, but maybe you’ve become a lazy lover. Do you wish you could be more inventive? That you could suggest things? That you could please your lover's body? In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Most of us are more adventurous and playful in bed at the beginning (01:49) Get more acquainted with your own turn-ons (08:09) Share your sexual fantasy with your lover (13:11) Don’t be lazy—do some research! (16:50) Today’s LoveByte (17:36) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“But Dr. Cheryl, don’t you know that romance is dead?”  “How can I be as sexy as those guys my wife reads about in her steamy books?” “Will I ever stop waiting for my rom com meet-cute whirlwind romance?!” It's pretty easy to be cynical about modern love. We’re so misled by the media and romantic comedies and romance novels about what love should look like that it can be really dangerous to our relationships. We have this illusion that love and romance need to be a certain way, but the truth is that real life relationships are a whole lot different than what we see on the screen or read on the page.  On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you my biggest tips to create and sustain romance between you and your partner through 2024 and beyond. When’s the last time you and your sweetheart really thought out of the box for a date night? What about exploring a whole new-to-you cuisine, stepping out of your typical movie genre box, or even learning to ice skate together (and sharing a laughing fit when you both end up on your bottoms!) It can be hard to get out of your comfortable rut, but branching out can bring some much needed spice and bonding time to a long term relationship. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: The most important predictor of happiness, health, and well being in our lives is the health and happiness of our romantic relationship (00:40) Idealized portrayals of love can be damaging to our real life relationship (03:38) Date nights are a no-brainer and a non-negotiable (04:38) A great relationship is about taking action (11:16) Expressing gratitude lowers your heart rate and your stress response (12:09) Get off your butt and celebrate with your sweetheart (16:18) Today’s LoveByte (18:56) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. If you have 4 dates with your partner in the next month and send us proof, we'll send you a prize! Just email Hello@Drcherylfraser.com. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“But Dr. Cheryl, shouldn’t the goal be not to have any arguments with my sweetheart?” If you’re a human being who loves another human being, do you truly think it's healthy to never argue with your sweetheart? To never disagree, never have a tense conversation or one that leads to you feeling anxious or worried or hurt or angry?  On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you why a long term relationship with no fighting or arguing is one giant red flag. When you’re arguing with your partner, you literally cannot know their side of things. You can’t see their side of the clock, you can’t visualize what they're seeing—they have a different background, a different family upbringing, different hopes and dreams. It’s this simple, powerful idea that often becomes one of the most important teachings for couples in my Become Passion program.  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Couples who don’t have conflict are avoiding the tough topics (02:00) One of the best ways to improve your communication is to take a step back from what's happening in the moment (09:38) To argue effectively, you and your honey need to agree on a “time out” signal (12:40) When we're triggered and irrational, we are being hijacked by our emotions (14:28) We make mistakes and our partners make mistakes—learn to apologize like a pro (19:30) Today’s LoveByte (21:09) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, we never have sex anymore!”  “Dr. Cheryl, with the kids, the dog, and the mortgage, there’s no time left for the bedroom!”  “Dr. Cheryl, our sex life has totally lost its spark—how did things become so boring?” These are the types of questions I hear repeatedly from the couples in my Become Passion program, and they’re the sort of issues that nearly every long term relationship goes through. Whether you’ve found yourself running your marriage like a business or your sex life has become as exciting as a 12 hour Netflix binge, there is hope and you and your honey CAN bring the sexy back. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you all about how to improve your sex life in the new year. I'm very passionate about helping long term couples just like you improve your relationship and I’ve had plenty of practice doing it. Today, you’ll hear three tried and true tips to start out 2024 with your most sensual foot forward.  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: My first tip for better sex is to practice more non-erotic touch (01:43) The three breath hug is a great way to start regularly using non-erotic touch (03:15) Tip number 2: Schedule sensual time (05:55) Waiting for spontaneous sexual desire is like waiting for a teenager to spontaneously clean their room (08:51) Whether you're making love these days or not, try bathing together naked (14:37) Tip three: Please, be a little more creative! (20:11) Today’s LoveByte (21:55) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you think about failure in terms of your relationship, what does it mean to you? Is it separation? Moving out? The big “D”? All those things can definitely feel like failing… But what about when you and your partner start to move into Marriage Incorporated territory, where your relationship runs much more like a business than a romance? On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m asking some very important questions for you and your partner to answer going into 2024. Today, I’m giving you a little assignment to take some time with your honey to sit down and really discuss this past year in earnest. Afterall, without a little introspection, how can we predict our own success or failure?  Some questions I ask in this episode: One year from now… How do you want to feel about your relationship?  What would success feel like? What would it look like?  What are you doing better?  How have you improved? In what ways?  Are you happier? In what ways is your partner happier?  Are you making sure they feel as precious as they are, even when life gets in the way? How do you want to feel?  What do you want to be?  Who do you want to be in your relationship? Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Take the polar plunge and get a prize! Take a picture of yourself afterward and send it to hello@drcherylfraser.com to win. Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise.  Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.com Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all know the story of Scrooge and the visits he received on Christmas Eve—but have you ever stopped to realize that you’re acting a little like old Scrooge yourself? Maybe you’re a Scrooge to your sweetheart when you're under holiday stress… Are you bickering? Are you fighting? Are you blaming?  In celebration of Christmas, this week and next I’m giving you a double dose of my Dharma Talks. Tune into today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants for your front row seat.  Tune in and learn how Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol still holds relevant lessons in today’s world and how we can use them to explore our mindset. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Reasons are not excuses (14:08) We can all redo, remake, regret, forgive, and begin again (20:40) No matter what religion you follow, the ugliness of the human mind and psyche is universally greed and ignorance and aversion (32:48) We have the opportunity every morning to wake up and lead with heart and generosity (42:51) More often than not, we're simply ignorant—we forget to remember to give, we forget to remember to judge less and love more (45:11) Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise.  Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.com Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a kid, I had magical, picture perfect Christmases. The stockings by the fire, the gifts beneath the tree, and a beautiful, loving family to make it all warm and incredibly special… But the next day? I was in a world of disappointment, depression, and despair because I could never cope with the fact that everything was suddenly over. I was clinging to the past.  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is a front row seat to one of my holiday Dharma Talks.  Tune in and learn how we still have lessons to learn from Santa Claus and the Grinch—even as adults. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Every time you think you've found the one who's gonna keep you happily ever after, it’s a variation on the Santa Claus effect (08:16) The true heart is inside and whether all our beautiful things are there to share with people we love or none of our things are there we can still share what matters (23:41) It's not about stuff, It's not about winning, it’s about love. It's about the light of compassion, kindness, community, and generosity (25:26) Every time we love anything, we're going to hurt (32:15) More often than not, we're simply ignorant—we forget to remember to give, we forget to remember to judge less and love more (45:11) Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise.  Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.com Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This season, remember that gifts don’t have to have a monetary value. Show your partner you care by being intentional and letting them know how much they matter to you. A happy, healthy relationship involves shared rituals—why not give your lover the gift of presence? On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll hear a rerelease of one of my all time favorite episodes where I focus on the sex and love part of Christmas and show you some special ways to make this time together magical.  Remember being a kid on Christmas morning, waking up even before the sun… overwhelmed and giddy at the idea of what Santa Claus might’ve brought? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to recapture that special, magical feeling—even long after we stop believing in St. Nick? In This Episode, You Will Learn: Yes, you CAN make the holidays more romantic and sexy and avoid becoming totally burnt out by the end of the season (04:33)  It’s not about the presents, it’s about the presence (11:00) If you've got  little inquiring eyes and ears around, put your stocking stuffer in an envelope or add an IOU for an erotic massage (12:34) If you don't celebrate Christmas, you don't have to put your gifts in a stocking. You can individually wrap each thing—even try a treasure hunt and hide gifts around the house (13:52) Why not try out The 12 Days of Christmas for Couples? Instead of a partridge in a pear tree, what about dancing to a romantic song together in the living room? (18:08) Today’s LoveByte (25:52) Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise.  Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.com Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No matter what you celebrate, the beginning of December always feels like the unofficial start to the busiest time of year. There are company holiday parties, the kids have their plays and concerts, and the family gatherings can feel endless… And with all that commotion, who has the time to make things feel special with their sweet heart? In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, it’s all about taking the chaotic, overscheduled energy of December and using some of it to honor and cherish the one who’s by your side through it all.  Tune in and remember that first holiday season you spent with your sweetie. When you were dating and wooing and falling in love, you probably made a heck of a lot more effort during the holidays. You probably shopped more carefully, you probably did some romantic or sexy or fun gifts, and you probably really thought about: “How can I light my sweetheart up?”  In This Episode, You Will Learn: In the December holiday season, couples gets lost (02:03) Valentine’s Day is a manufactured money grabbing cheap chocolate holiday—but if you open your mind, it can be a reminder to be romantic as heck (03:22) Your love affair doesn't take care of itself. You need to make passion a priority (12:13) It takes work and effort and repetition to improve and to be good at what you do—if you rest on your laurels, your laurels tend to fall apart (12:52) Your challenge is to make this holiday season joyful, compassionate, and generous—but also make it about the two of you. Carve out at least one special holiday date (13:38) This week’s LoveByte (14:40) Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise.  Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.com Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all have moments of unkindness that come at times of weakness. Your shoelace broke, you stepped in a puddle, and you got a flat tire—so you take it all out on your local barista. But here’s the thing:  It's up to us whether we have a good day or a bad day. It’s up to us whether, regardless of circumstances, we have a kind mind or a mean mind. It's up to us how we feel when the circumstances get in our way.  Fix yourself a nice cup of steaming tea, find a quiet, tranquil spot, and settle in—this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is your ticket to my latest Dharma Talk.  Tune in and learn about the Eightfold Path and why this central piece of the Buddhist belief system remains so incredibly relevant in our modern daily lives.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: Suffering is not inherent in change, suffering is inherent in us wanting things to be different (02:46) When I act kinder, I feel better (17:21) We have to practice right speech in the world with our words—and when we fail, begin again (34:21) Abstain from slanderous speech: Don't gossip, don't talk about other people in ways that may not be skillful (36:57) Communicating is listening as much or more than you speak (38:12) It's not an easy being a kind, compassionate human being… but it's huge return on investment (01:06:37) Got questions? Email hello@drcherylfraser.com Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

October 31 is a bit of a funny day. Of course, for many of us in Canada and the States, we have our long held Halloween traditions from childhood. But if we think of those traditions, there are several of them—including the act of assuming another persona—that correspond to aspects of Buddha Dharma. In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ve got a front row seat to my recent Dharma Talk, given this past Halloween. Tune in and learn about the ghosts, ghouls, and goblins that reside inside of our own psyche when we get trapped in anger, selfishness, or judgment. In This Episode, You Will Learn: According to Buddha Dharma, there is no real, permanent self (04:13) About 30% of humans across the spectrum suffer from abandonment issues (11:36) When we're in greed, we forget to be generous (16:11) Halloween is the only holiday where the purpose is to give freely, without discrimination, to strangers (23:08) Everything changes, everything dies (29:53) This week’s LoveByte (47:09) Got questions? Email hello@drcherylfraser.com Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Would you rather be right? Or would you rather be happy? It's hardly an original thought... but it might be just the question that you and your honey need to be asking yourselves—especially if you find yourself in the same argument day in, day out. In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll have a front row seat to my conversation Andrew G. Marshall, renowned marital therapist and host of The Meaningful Life podcast.  Join Andrew and me as we talk about the real life relationships issues we’ve encountered in our practices and even some of the strife we’ve had with our own sweethearts.  Missed out on Become Passion sign-ups? There’s still time! Send an email to support@DrCherylFraser.com and let us know you want to join! In This Episode, You Will Learn: The fight is never just about the topic at hand (03:14) Ask yourself: Would you rather be right? Or would you rather be happy? (07:11) Nothing has ever been settled by deciding “I'm right and you're wrong” (09:15) People don't like conflict and they’ll try and get it over and done with as quickly as possible (18:00) In relationships, unfinished business accumulates (20:31) Don’t wait until your relationship is on life support to seek therapy—go now! (24:02) As our relationship matures, we need to give ourselves time to move from the sensual zone into the sexual zone (31:01) Got questions? Email hello@drcherylfraser.com. Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Connect with Andrew: Website The Meaningful Life podcast Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The doors to Become Passion are OPEN—make sure you and your sweetheart are signed up before they close on November 2! https://drcherylfraser.mykajabi.com/join-become-passion Join me this Wednesday, November 1 for a very special LIVE Q&A over Zoom. Email support@drcherylfraser.com for the special link! This October on Sex, Love, and Elephants, I take you behind the scenes as I talk with some of my Become Passion students about their relationship struggles and how they overcame… Today, I’m joined by six REAL couples who have participated in my Become Passion training.  Are you ready to create love and passion that last a lifetime? At the end of this month I'm opening the doors for the only time this year to Become Passion. Join the waitlist and hear more about the program! This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts November 3. A failing relationship doesn’t always look like explosive fights and shouting matches and slamming doors… it can just as easily look like apathy and boredom and quiet resentment. What matters most is how you chose to bring those issues into the light—and whether or not you’re willing to fight to make things better.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: This Wednesday’s LIVE Q&A is your last chance to join me for a free event before we kick off Become Passion (01:20) Karen and Steve didn’t have nasty fights, but they were struggling with their sexuality as they aged (03:57) Between kids, careers, and household responsibility, it’s so easy for a relationship to become Marriage Incorporated (07:30) Lisa and Cam found themselves in flooded arguments that became destructive to their relationship (18:22) Howard and Karen were separated for 6 months before they found Become Passion and learned how to fall in love all over again (22:29) Today’s LoveByte (33:00) Got questions? Email hello@drcherylfraser.com. Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m going to give you a look inside my Passion Masterclass - a FREE couples workshop I do ONCE  a year. It’s packed with information about the 3 Keys to Passion and much more. I also give you the opportunity to take the next steps in your relationship journey with me as your guide and romance cheerleader! (Yes, you can be both a hopeless romantic and a scientist—fun combination.) Here’s the good news: You are NOT alone and it's NOT too late… even if it feels like it! In fact, on average, over 30% of the long-term couples I see in my practice aren’t having any sex whatsoever.  In this exclusive LIVE Passion Masterclass, you’ll learn about Passion and how you can shift your relationship from where it is to where you want it to be. You’ll learn that extraordinary Lifelong Passion is 100% Possible, but you must beware of Marriage Inc. (AKA running your relationship like a business). You’ll also learn how to create much more intimacy, thrill, and sensuality—no matter where your relationship is currently.  Intrigued? Be one of the few select couples who join me inside the Become Passion – Create Love that Lasts a Lifetime 12-week online immersion program for couples. To learn more and to join, click here! We begin November 3, 2023 and go through January 26, 2024. Want to watch the actual masterclass with video? Click here! In This Episode, You Will Learn: The 3 Keys to Passion – What they are, and Why mastering them will help you cultivate great love and sex that last a lifetime  Intimacy: “Marital Friendship”  Why Learning to Fight Fair is so important. Painful repeating arguments  Thrill: Why it is so difficult to keep the excitement, attraction, and romance going – and what you need to do about it. Getting real Sensuality: How to wake up your erotic life. Did you know most long-term couples make love only a few times a month?  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

JOIN my FREE Passion masterclass—just choose the date and time that work best for you. This is the only time this year it’s being taught! This October on Sex, Love, and Elephants, I take you behind the scenes as I talk with some of my Become Passion students about their relationship struggles and how they overcame… Today, I’m answering some of the most common questions and most pressing pain points from my past Become Passion sessions. These issues came from REAL couples with REAL problems—just like you and your honey. Are you ready to create love and passion that last a lifetime? At the end of this month I'm opening the doors for the only time this year to Become Passion. Join the waitlist and hear more about the program! This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts November 3. When you and your sweetheart first got together, what did you do to really romance one another? I’d guess it didn’t involve the couch, Netflix, and a bag of potato chips on a Saturday night… So why expect that spark to continue burning when you’re not doing anything to feed the passion flame? When you become lazy in love, love suffers.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: You and your partner can join me for  FREE Passion masterclass and see how the Become Passion program can reignite your love life and bring back the spark you’ve been missing (00:23) ¾ of couples are stuck in a vicious cycle of the same perpetual argument (05:44) Don’t get lazy and complacent in your love—romance your partner like you did in the beginning (11:03) If your sex life is floundering—You. Are. Normal… But it doesn’t have to be that way (16:20) Today’s LoveByte (23:00) Got questions? Email hello@drcherylfraser.com. Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today’s minisode, I’m extending you a very special invitation to join me for my FREE Passion Masterclass. Dates start October 24th! Choose the date and time that works best for you. I’m teaching the Three Keys to Great Relationships—and stay for an extensive Q&A! NOW is the only time in 2023 I’m offering my couples program! Wouldn't you like to be happier? Wouldn't you like to have more ease in your home? More playfulness with your sweetheart? Wouldn't you like to take it to the next step? Then join me for the Become Passion program. This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts November 3. Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program.   Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Become Passion - Create Love that Lasts A Lifetime immersion program waitlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This October on Sex, Love, and Elephants, I take you behind the scenes as I talk with some of my Become Passion students about their relationship struggles and how they overcame.. Today, you’ll hear from Lisa and Cam, a couple who joined Become Passion when their relationship started to feel like it was between roommates instead of lovers. Lisa and Cam were able to completely renovate their partnership for the better—and so can you and your sweetheart! At the end of October, I'm opening the doors for the only time this year to Become Passion,  my signature 10 week immersion online program where I coach couples live every week. Kick off for the official program is November 3, but you can join the waitlist now and gain access to some extraordinary FREE content throughout the month of October including an exclusive live zoom workshop with me! You and your honey have it down—the kids, the mortgage, the household chores… but just because you’ve figured out the administrative side of things doesn’t mean you’ve got a thriving love life. If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in Marriage Incorporated, listen in to what Lisa and Cam have to say! In This Episode, You Will Learn: If you want to learn more about  the Become Passion online couples program you and your sweetheart can join my free Passion Masterclass—PLUS a very special FREE Zoom session with me! (00:57) Lisa was beginning to see Cam as more of a roommate than a lover—until they joined Become Passion and rediscovered one another (05:07) In the Become Passion program, you’ll start from the basics to build a more solid foundation for your relationship to thrive (10:56) Through Become Passion, Lisa and Cam developed the skills to tone down their ugly fights (22:46) Today’s LoveByte (48:25) Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This October on Sex, Love, and Elephants, I take you behind the scenes as I talk with some of my Become Passion students about their relationship struggles and how they overcame.. Today, you’ll hear from Howard and Karen, a couple who joinedBecome Passion last year to save their marriage … after Howard suddenly asked for a divorce. I hope you’ll considering joining me this year to renovate YOUR relationship! At the end of October, I'm opening the doors for the only time this year to Become Passion,  my signature 10 week immersion online program where I coach couples live every week. Kick off for the official program is November 3, but you can join the waitlist now and gain access to some extraordinary FREE content throughout the month of October including an exclusive live zoom workshop with me! Humans are creatures of habit. We tend to find comfort in routine… and that doesn’t exclude our romantic relationships. But when there’s a major shakeup—a new baby, retirement, even COVID lockdowns—it can be hard to reconcile and adapt to those new circumstances with our sweetheart.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: If you want to learn more about  the Become Passion online couples program you and your sweetheart can join my free Passion Masterclass—PLUS a some very specail  l FREE Zoom session with me! (01:24) Make sure you’ve joined the waitlist so we can invite you to these exclusive freebies and classes all through the month of October! (03:01) Between retirement and COVID, Howard found himself at his wit’s end in his marriage to Karen and threatened divorce—but Karen had other plans (03:51) It was the practical applications in the Become Passion program that really allowed Howard and Karen to save their marriage from the brink of divorce (22:57) Today’s LoveByte (47:57) Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Remember when you first got together with your sweetheart? That electric thrill pulsing through your body from just a simple touch or a brief kiss? After a decade or two with a mortgage, a few kids, and all the other stresses of daily life, you probably don’t feel quite the same… But wouldn’t it be incredible if you could get that feeling back? That spark, that electricity, that passion? On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m digging deep on some of the most common reasons that couples in committed, long term relationships break up… and how those relationships can be saved.  At the end of October, I'm opening the doors for the only time this year to Become Passion,  my signature 10 week immersion online program where I coach couples live every week. Kick off for the official program is November 3, but you can join the waitlist now and gain access to some extraordinary FREE content throughout the month of October including an exclusive live zoom workshop with me! In This Episode, You Will Learn: Over the past 3.5 years, I’ve taken nearly 500 couples through my Become Passion course (01:58) The first major reason long term relationships break up is because of unproductive, damaging conflict (08:14) When our bodies go into a flooded state, we’re triggered, anxious, and prone to dramatic and damaging arguments (10:14) The second major reason long term relationships end is when a couple drifts apart and no longer share the same priorities  - the Thrill is Gone (16:14) The third major reason long term couples split is because of sexual issues (25:55) Today’s LoveByte (29:20) Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 10-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG t Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Think back to when you were a kid, imagining your life as a grown up. What was the most important element of that fantasy to you? Was it money? Freedom? Maybe it was that you’d have a soulmate straight out of a fairytale to share your life with, riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after… In today’s episode, I’m kicking off the most exciting time of year here on Sex, Love, and Elephants. You’ll hear all about my Become Passion program and my inspiration behind its creation. At the end of October, I'm opening the doors for the only time this year to Become Passion. That's my signature 10 week immersion online program, where I coach couples live every week. This extraordinary program is the culmination of my life's work and has changed the lives and relationships of almost 500 couples since I started in 2020. Kick off is November 3.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: Happily Ever After doesn’t exist in the way we were taught as kids (04:29) The keys to passion are the three areas that every exceptional couple needs to become strong (11:46) In long term relationships, we tend to get lazy, complacent, and take our partner for granted (16:40) Don’t wait for a traumatic wake up call to realize how lucky you are to have your partner (17:06) Today’s LoveByte (26:37) Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 10-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grown-up content alert! In this episode, Sheila and I talk explicitly about sexuality in and out of the bedroom. This content is not appropriate for little ears Hello women - let me ask you. How sensual do you feel? How well do you know your erotic body? How deeply do you trust her? Or… do you ignore her signals and simply focus on what your brain is telling you? What if I told you that by ignoring the most beautiful erotic, pleasurable impulses of your body you are missing out on true sexual freedom and joy? In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll hear my conversation with Sheila Kelley, my dear friend and the founder of S Factor, a feminine movement practice that supports woman to safely and confidently unfold the story of her own body…and uncover her erotic creatures.as seen in the Netflix documentary Strip Down, Rise Up. Interested in my couples immersion program Become Passion? We begin late October. Get on the waitlist to access my free Q&A sessions and much more. No obligation—but wow is there some amazing free content coming in the next 6 weeks! In This Episode, You Will Learn: Your body is the Oracle of your life—she's smarter than you are (05:39) For someone like Sheila, your body behavior is more revealing than anything that comes out of your mouth (11:03) The more you move the muscle of emotional erotic energy, the more expansive and the more sexual you become (21:48) The feminine is life force (41:29) All of our bodies have been trained to be smaller than we are (46:25)  We all have several erotic creatures inside of us…which ones do you resonate with? Today’s LoveByte (54:34) If you are ready to join me in Sheila’s 6-month Strip and Rise journey, register here: Strip & Rise 6-Month Journey with Sheila - S Factor AND MAKE SURE TO USE DISCOUNT CODE friendsofcheryl to receive $100 OFF Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Connect with Sheila: S Factor Discover your erotic creature Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube Take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’ve all been there: Your sweetheart is on your last nerve and you feel like you just can’t be with this person any longer. Yes, even sex and love professional Dr. Cheryl isn’t immune to the negative thoughts that tend to circle a relationship. But we have to rise above all the noise, embrace the greater wisdom and realize that our problems only follow us when we walk away from them. In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll hear part four of my recent Dharma Talk, given at a meditation retreat that I taught.  In the next few weeks, I’ll be opening the doors to my Become Passion online immersion program for couples. The 12 week course will begin the—end of October - just in time for you and your sweetheart to get ready to enter 2024 more passionate and in love than ever before. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Don’t miss out on my free 1.5 hour Passion Masterclass this October! Dates TBA (06:26) Today’s LoveByte (09:36) The truth of impermanence is that nothing, nothing, nothing ever lasts (15:55) Be wise about the difference between the data and the story, because the stories are generally the source of our suffering (19:40) All we ever have is the present moment (24:57) Listen to parts one, two and three of my Dharma Talk series.  Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grown-up content alert! In this episode, I use explicit language to talk in depth about sexual exercises that you and your honey can experiment with. This content is not appropriate for little ears—this is grown-up content that will help you grow in the bedroom.  Let’s face it: when two lovers have been in a committed relationship for any long term length of time, one of the first things that can fade is the passion. It’s so easy to become stuck in the rut of “Marriage Incorporated,” so how do we dig our way out? There’s no magic wand wave that can bring back the thrill, but with intentionality and the proper tools, it can absolutely be done.  On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m returning to some of the questions covered in last week’s episode and doing a bit more of a deep dive on thrill and sensuality in relationships.  Today, I’m challenging you to toast some marshmallows and enjoy a s’mores with your honey on the beach—and if you don’t live near a beach, create one!  In This Episode, You Will Learn: Reigniting the thrill in a relationship is all about creating the mind of a lover (05:26) Relationships are complicated and everyone has emotional baggage (07:10) Scheduling intimacy can totally change your sex life (09:00) Some intimate exercise ideas if your honey is resistant to scheduling sex (13:49) Today’s LoveByte (18:11) Download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine you're out trying to recover from a betrayal. You're relaxing on the couch with your sweetheart watching a comedy special, your defenses are down, and the comedian starts talking about affairs. BOOM. You're triggered, right? You’ve just experienced a physiological response, but it’s what we do when we become triggered that’s the important part. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m once again answering some of the most burning questions written in by real listeners just like you! Today, I’m answering questions about deep forgiveness, how to break free from Relationship Incorporated, and what happens when we keep squeezing that hot coal tighter instead of letting go. In This Episode, You Will Learn: It’s nearly impossible to cultivate intimacy and passion with your partner when you can’t let go of your baggage (05:29) We tend to hang onto old pain without meaning to because it’s difficult to let go (15:47) Being triggered is a physiological response—the best way to help it pass is to acknowledge it (23:22) Until you deeply understand your partner’s point of view, you can't heal together (26:51) Today’s LoveByte (30:14) Download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Generosity is a two way street. It has both an outflow and an inflow; it's giving and it’s receiving. When we think of ourselves as generous, we think about being good at giving: We’re the ones who show up to help a loved one move house when everyone else flakes, the ones who pay a little bit closer attention when a friend is struggling through a loss. But the truth is, so many of us who are good at giving still struggle with being generous receivers.  In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll hear part two of my recent Dharma Talk, given at a meditation retreat that I taught.  Tune in and learn why receiving is such an incredibly important aspect of generosity—and what you can do to hone that skill if you’re feeling a little rusty. In This Episode, You Will Learn: This week’s LoveByte (03:42) The monkey may be annoying, but you can still learn from it (06:33) It’s not just about being a generous giver, you must be a generous receiver, too (29:28) I challenge you to go out and say “thank you” whenever you receive a compliment (34:30) Before we can become generous, we need awareness (50:35) Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you feel like everyone is getting laid but you? Or like if you just knew how to do that thing, you would be able to keep your partner engaged in hot and sexy time? Maybe your partner can’t seem to keep their hands off of you but you secretly find this exhausting or even overwhelming… Well, your secret is safe with me but I must remind you that navigating how we approach the expression of our sexual energy is a journey that is unique to every individual. Regardless of how society may make it seem, there is no universal blueprint (surprise!). One thing is for sure though, it's nearly impossible to get in the mood, let alone stay in the mood when we are constantly on different pages with our partners because of mismatched desires around sensuality and expressions of sexuality.   In today’s episode, I invite you and your sweetie to reconnect by celebrating National Bowling Day and National Book Lovers Day. I go on to unpack the complicated topic of Sensuality as the third side of the Passion Triangle as I continue to answer your most frequently asked love and sex questions.   Find out how you can rediscover the sacred delight of basking in your own magnetic Sensuality and listen in to hear my answers to Deandra and Dr. T’s questions: "I have a high sex drive that often leaves me disappointed because of my husband's avoidance of sex and erection difficulty - What do I do?" and "How do I work through my ambivalent feelings around sex with my husband because of sexual trauma from a past relationship?"  In This Episode, You Will Learn:   This Tuesday, August 8th, get your best balls and go bowling with your sweetheart for National Bowling Day (3:53)  This Wednesday, August 9th, read aloud the most erotic story you can find to your lover for National Book Lovers Day (5:51)  The third side of the passion triangle: Sensuality (6:13)  How Deanna and Dr. T’s questions are two sides of the same coin (7:17)  My answer to Deanna's and Dr. T's questions (10:54)  It's important that we create arousal for ourselves before we begin attempting to create arousal with our partners (18:56)  This week's LoveByte (24:21)   Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Let’s Connect!   Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We often hear lots of couples talk about the whirlwind passionate romance that led them to commit to one another for the long haul and for some, go as far as getting the government involved. But how often do we hear about the kind of love that had to be grown over time? Like the ones that never experienced what Beyoncè is always on about with being crazy in love…You know, the kind of love story that may not be very romantic and exciting to some people but it works and therefore is just as valid as any. I mean, who says a slow burn can't still be hot and spicy anyway?   Whether your partnership is a classic friends-to-lovers dynamic that's a little more friends than it is lovers, an arranged marriage on behalf of your culture, or simply the product of finding someone you liked and trusted enough to make your nuclear family dream come true in a timely fashion, you deserve to know that you are not alone.  In today’s episode, I invite you to reconnect with your partners in celebration of National White Wine Day and National Water Balloon Day. I review the three aspects of the Passion Triangle, which we discussed in depth in episodes 9 through 12 and I also continue to focus on your top love and sex questions.   Tune in for my answer to our Anonymous sender’s question: What about long-term couples that weren't in love at the beginning of their relationship?  In This Episode, You Will Learn:  I dive deeper into the Passion Triangle during my signature immersion program coming out in mid-October (1:38)  I challenge you this Thursday, August 3rd to share, with your sweetheart, a nice glass of wine on National White Wine Day (5:33)  I challenge you this Friday, August 4th to get silly with your partner on National Water Balloon Day (6:34)  A review of the Passion Triangle (8:06)  My answer for the Anonymous questioner: What about long-term couples that weren’t in love at the beginning of their relationship? (12:52)  When we do something different and exciting, it makes us feel more attracted to our partner (20:41) This week’s LoveByte (24:34)  Previous Episodes Covering the Passion Triangle:  Episode 9  Episode 10 Episode 11 Episode 12 Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you're like me, your most sarcastic remarks were never made with the intention to cause harm. You're simply a linguist with an eye for irony and a secret belief you should really be a comedian, right?  Well, although that could very well be the case… Do you know the line between comedy and cruelty? It’s important we remember that wielding the sword of sarcasm requires dexterity, spacial awareness, and most of all, care. We don’t want to accidentally cut someone because we were playing fast and loose with our words…But as perfectly imperfect beings, we have a tendency to do this all the time, especially with our partners. Would you talk to your most treasured friend the way you talk to your partner? Would you be so quick to criticize your friends the way you might criticize your partner? When we start speaking to our spouse the way we would a dear friend, we find out how important platonic intimacy is to sustaining a thriving connection.  In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I invite you and your beloved to reconnect by celebrating National Refreshment Day and National Friendship Day. I am also beyond excited to be answering the first of your most burning and frequently asked questions.  Tune in to find out why we need to work harder to treat our spouses more like a friend and how I answer Carol’s question: How do I handle one-sided sarcasm? In This Episode, You Will Learn:  I challenge you this Thursday, July 27 to have an ice-cold refreshment with your honey (2:49)  Your second challenge this Sunday, July 30 is to show your partner and close friends how much you cherish their friendship (6:54)  My answer to Carol’s question: How do I handle one-sided sarcasm?  (10:24)  The difference between gentle fun sarcasm and contempt disguised as sarcasm (17:00) The first step to cleaning up your verbal exchanges is by extending genuine apologies (20:44)  This week’s LoveByte (21:55) Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Follow @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever arrived home with a new house plant and admired its glossy leaves and beautiful flowers… only to forget about its care for the next few months? When you went back to it, was it still radiating beauty? Or was it a sad, shriveled, droopy shell of its former self? On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m going back to answer some of the most burning questions you sent in after my New Years episode.  Today, I’ve got a sexy, hilarious, and very tasty relationship challenge for you and your honey. You’re definitely going to want to participate in this one… just make sure you don’t have the good sheets on your bed! In This Episode, You Will Learn: I got to spend an incredible weekend with some of my Become Passion community (03:43) I challenge you this Wednesday, July 12 to have a deep conversation with your honey (06:08)  The answers to some of the questions I received after Sex, Love & Elephants episode 88 (06:55) Your relationship can’t improve if you’re constantly neglecting it (12:43) Today’s LoveByte (16:34) Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Follow  @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So often on special occasions— whether it’s Thanksgiving, a birthday, or a graduation— celebrations become about family and friends. There’s nothing wrong with that, but rarely do we see the couple hosting a barbecue, a dinner party, or even a wedding having fun together. Often, we even see a bit of friction instead of love and connection and joyful celebration of a relationship in the midst of a big event. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I get to brag a bit about an incredible group of my Become Passion students and the very special way we’re celebrating together.  Today, I’m talking all about celebration, why we celebrate special events, how we mark those events, and why it’s so important to have a reason to come together in a community to break bread, to share food, to laugh, to dance, and to play.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: My Become Passion online immersion program has helped over 450 couples so far (03:26) Our Become Passion community is just coming off of an impromptu, in-person celebration for the first time (08:19) Make special occasions special for the two of you (13:37) Today's LoveByte (13:53) Email hello@drcherylfraser.com your most burning love & sex questions—you could hear them answered on air! Download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Follow @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you have trouble looking your partner in the eyes and telling them how much you love them, you're not broken or weird or screwed up. We all have different levels of comfort expressing our emotions and it can be hard letting our guard down and showing off our mushy, sweet, vulnerable side. But what if, just once, you trust yourself enough to let that side show through? On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m celebrating the final episode dedicated to making your love life your favorite hobby.   It can feel absolutely delightful to celebrate your partner in a sincere, tasteful, glorious social media post… but if public displays of affection aren’t for you, why not try expressing those emotions to them privately? It doesn’t have to be out there for the world—but you can still let your sweetheart know how amazing they are. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Wednesday, June 28 is Happy Heart Hugs Day—and it’s your excuse to get down right mushy with the one you love (05:36) One person can make a real change in a relationship (07:40) Double date nights with another couple can be a great way to bond with your honey (11:32) Today's LoveByte (16:38) Find and download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Follow @drcherylfraser on IG to get more Make Your Lovelife a Hobby challenges and to download your game card. Send us a selfie of you kissing for no reason or a photo of your Best Friends list!  Email hello@drcherylfraser.com to enter to win. Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When we pay attention and bring thrill to each other, when we have more fun and do more silly, outside of the box things, we’re putting in the work to bust Marriage Incorporated. When we get stuck running our relationship like a business, all the fun and joy are sapped. You can parent well, work hard, pay off the mortgage… But where are the two of you? Where's the ROMANCE? On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m giving you a few more relationship challenges to bust your boredom and make your love life your favorite hobby.  Just a few days from now, those of us in the Northern Hemisphere will experience the summer solstice… So, what are your plans to celebrate? How about downloading a sexy, sultry playlist and dancing in the moonlight?  In This Episode, You Will Learn: I’m back this week with another round of challenges for National Make Music Day and National Selfie Day (03:47) Sometimes, like Elsa says, you’ve just got to Let. It. Go. and release old wounds (08:43) By hanging on to things that hurt you, you’re only burning yourself (14:06) The three breath hug is a great way to practice forgiveness (16:39) Today's LoveByte (18:06) Find and download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE  Send us a selfie of you and your sweetheart enjoying these challenges as they happen each week - making your love life a hobby. Email hello@drcherylfraser.com to enter to win and follow along on IG @drcherylfraser Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine you’re on a quiz show and the host asks you to define the word “hobby.” What would you say? Well, Dr. Cheryl, first of all, it's something we do because we want to—it's fun, it's something we want to get better at. Okay, so maybe your hobby is baking or painting or going on hikes with the dog… But here's another question for you: Have you ever considered making your love life your hobby? On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you all about dedicating the same amount of time, energy, and commitment to your love life as you would any other hobby.  Are you treating spending special time with your sweetheart like a hobby? Back when you were falling in love with your honey, I guarantee you treated your relationship like a hobby. You planned, you rearranged your schedules, you stood on your heads to find a time when you were both free to get together. Well, this is your sign to go back to that place and make the time to bring back that fun and intentionality. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Make your love life a hobby (03:33) There are ways to date more and have more fun and be more playful without spending a ton of time or money (08:44) Treating your relationship like a hobby acts to interrupt the bad patterns of laziness and complacency you and your sweetheart have fallen into (13:23) Where you put in the work and take action—that's where you'll get results (19:45) Today's LoveByte (21:05)   Send us a selfie of you kissing for no reason or a photo of your Best Friends list!  Email hello@drcherylfraser.com to enter to win and follow along on IG to download your game card @drcherylfraser Find and download the Great Summer Relationship Reconnect Game Card HERE Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Think of your first kiss with your current partner. (And if you're unpartnered, think of the first kiss with a previous partner—even if  the relationship didn't end so well.)? How did that first kiss  feel? First kisses can be pretty powerful, pretty exciting, and sometimes almost orgasmically explosive.  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is all about the kiss. You’ll hear all about my origin story with my now-husband and why our first kiss changed everything for our relationship.  Kissing is a funny thing. When we first start out in a relationship, we put so much energy, so much mindfulness, so much focus and so much eroticism into the act… But then something happens. You get years into a long term relationship and kissing starts to seem like an almost trivial act—but it is so much more than that. In This Episode, You Will Learn: When I went on my first date with my now-husband, I had no intention of being partnered (02:29) My honey reacted with only positivity when I told him about my 90-day meditation retreats and that’s when I knew he was different (13:53) An amazing kiss can be an erotic, emotional, spiritual, energetic movement of energy through your entire body (17:56) First kisses, for almost all of us, are incredibly exciting because of the anticipation (19:23) Today’s LoveByte (21:04) Take my May challenge! Kiss your partner every day this month and win a prize - email hello@drcherylfraser.com to be entered! Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The source of all of your unhappiness is in your own mind. Excuse me, Dr. Cheryl?! It may sound harsh, but it’s true. Our expectations about how we think things should be, how we want things to be, how we believe things should go in our life… Those are expectations, not reality. And reality is a bitch. It’s one of the toughest aspects of being alive.  Today on Sex, Love, and Elephants I’m talking about your expectations vs the real world - and how much this can hurt your relationship! Have you ever noticed that your expectations and reality often clash in a major way?   It can be difficult to accept that things won’t always go your way—in fact, I still have to work on it myself sometimes. We all  have expectations, we all have plans,  and we all have desires… There are ways we want things to go and reality often has other ideas. You can be angry and vindictive all you want, but in the end, you’re only prolonging your own suffering. In This Episode, You Will Learn: I recently had an airplane trip from hell - my expectations were certainly not met! But…I adjusted to relaity and made lemonade from the lemons…(02:12) Be nice to the people who just happen to be bystanders when reality fails to meet your wishes (10:23) Be kind to yourself, your mind, and your partner when reality isn’t going your way (14:27) You can always change the story you’re making up about your partner and change your expectations  (16:58) Happiness or unhappiness is completely up to us (21:26) Today’s LoveByte (22:07) Take my May challenge! Kiss your partner every day this month and win a prize - email hello@drcherylfraser.com to be entered! Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you're feeling irritated toward your partner or you’re anxious about something that you think is just not working in your relationship, do you notice that it can feel as though your heart is closed down? As though you’re a little bit guarded and trying to gain a bit of protection? Most of us don't do it deliberately, but subconsciously a protective mechanism can kick in. And that’s a problem… In the last chapter of my 3-part Spring into Love series, I’m rounding out our talks on kindness and gratitude by teaching you all about generosity and the incredible power it has in our relationships.  And I’m not talking about giving gifts - I’m talking about thinking generous thoughts. Do you consider yourself a generous person? How do you personally define generosity? You may be a perfectly giving person in your day-to-day life, but what about when it comes to your long-term romantic relationships? How generous are you really to your sweetheart? In This Episode, You Will Learn: A quick thought experiment about generosity (05:57) When we cultivate generosity about our partner, we will feel more at ease. We will feel happier, we will feel a softening in our heart. (11:13) How you cultivate generous thoughts towards your partner is 100% up to you. Happiness is all in your own head (14:54) It’s up to us to interpret the data—it’s up to us to choose kindness and generosity (15:59) Today’s LoveByte (17:19) Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For so many of us in long term relationships, we start to take each other for granted. Complacency creeps in on its sneaky little feet—we get bored, we cease to find our partner exciting, we no longer romance them. Sometimes, we even stop being kind to them and wind up treating thembadly- unkind tone, sharp words - instead of treating them like a good friend. For the next three weeks on Sex, Love, and Elephants it’s all about springing into love. I’m talking about  three deceptively simple things that each of us needs to nurture in order to have an extraordinary relationshi - Kindness, Gratitude, and Generosity. Today is all about kindness. In these short, powerful episodes I'm teaching you and your honey about some subtle yet profound aspects of developing great emotional and psychological intimacy. I also talk about the three aspects of what I call the passion triangle: ​​intimacy, thrill, and sensuality—the cornerstones of every extraordinary relationship. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Very few couples are strong in all three key relationship areas (04:40) Medical testing has shown that the feeling of falling in love is very similar in the brain to actual obsession (06:28) We often need a reboot for our long term relationships—we become lazy at the things we were good at in the beginning (09:23)  The critical importance of simply Being Kind Do better. Bit by bit, moment by moment (16:02) Prevention is key. Vow to prevent some of the unkind words, vow to prevent some of the unkind tone of voice (17:53) Today’s LoveByte (21:19) Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, you’ll hear one of my favorite Classic SLE episodes on love, relationships, and the sex you’re not having.  If you’re in a long-term relationship, how often do you and your partner have sex? Having a temporary dry spell is different than being in a sexless marriage - which is when you are having sex less than 6 times a year. If this sounds like the current state of your partnership, then it’s time to start talking about the sex you’re not having.  You’re thinking, “But isn’t it normal for couples to stop having sex as they get older?” This is a HUGE myth that too many couples have normalized in order to avoid addressing the lack of sex in their partnership. It’s possible to return to the sexual beings you were at the beginning of your relationship, no matter your age. I’m talking about what a sexless marriage is and how to begin talking about the sex you’re not having with your partner. I share stories and lessons learned from the couples in my Become Passion course, in which part of what I help them with is reigniting the sexual aspect of their relationship. In This Episode, You Will Learn: What defines a sexless marriage and the statistics & myths associated (06:09) The first step for addressing ANY problem - not just lack of sex (10:41) An example of how to acknowledge the lack of sex with your partner (11:52) It takes time and commitment to go from sexless to sexual (23:09) This week’s LoveByte (26:53) Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you've had a hope or a plan and that hasn't played out the way you thought—you’ve been disappointed or angry or deeply hurt—it behooves you to be a good scientist. Ask yourself: When do I get upset when things change? When am I more at ease when things change? In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m giving you a front row seat to my most recent Dharma talk. I’m teaching you the importance of rolling with the punches and staying at ease when your plans don’t meet your original expectations, and I’m also exploring the journey of aging with a treasured companion and ultimately working toward letting them go at the end of their life.  Tune in and learn that whether it’s a burnt casserole, a rain-drenched hike, or a profoundly broken heart, we all have the choice to manage our reactions.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: I recently had an incredible opportunity to spend two weeks housesitting in Hawaii with my dear friend (03:17) You can’t let plans gone awry ruin your beautiful day (06:00) Think of a time when you were deeply disappointed—how did you react? (12:45) We've got the ability to choose and to work with our reaction (18:55) In the present moment, there's no pain, there's no sadness, there's no clinging and wanting things to be different (26:26) Look at the waves in life and realize that this is only temporary turbulence (36:27) This week’s LoveByte (01:01:27) Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on Sex, Love, and Elephants I’m sharing my gratitude for all of you on this special episode––episode 100! It’s time to remind all of us why the word ELEPHANT is in the title of this podcast.  How are you doing with Happy Ever After? Not so good, huh? Well, remember, happiness is an inside job. You have the ability to control your contentment regardless of outside circumstances. At any point everything in our lives can change, right? So, if you base your happiness on your job, health, relationship, or anything other than yourself, you are in big trouble when something challenging or even tragic occurs. In this episode, you’ll learn why you will not find happiness, well-being, or contentment outside of yourself. If you are not positive inside your heart, you may crumble when life throws something bad at you. The good news? When you ride on the back of your elephant, you can handle anything.   In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why the hell is love such a hard gig? (03:56) A description of the Passion Triangle and why it can save your relationship (04:55) Why you definitely need to meet your elephant…and take its advice (07:59) Why we’re screwed if we seek happiness outside of ourselves (10:27) If you ran for your life while your whole neighborhood was burning down…would you still be happy? (13:09) What you can expect from Sex, Love, and Elephants going forward (21:08) Today's LoveByte (23:45) Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode, or would you like to send me some love? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How does it make you feel when your partner says, “I love you”? What about when your partner calls you your favorite romantic pet name? And how do you feel when your partner says, “We’re late and it’s all your fault!!”  Today on Sex, Love, and Elephants I’m talking all about watching your tongue! Okay, so maybe you haven’t had anyone tell you that in a few decades, but I’m teaching you why thinking before you speak is such an important skill​​ to have—regardless of your age.   Language and how we speak to each other is incredibly important. In fact, research shows that our bodies actually measurably react depending on the words being spoken to us… Even if we’re not even aware of it.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: Words really do matter (03:17) Our body can’t tell if what our mind is telling us is real (07:40) When you tell yourself, “I can’t,” you're creating a  physical stress response (10:07) We tend to let negative language flow much more freely with our partner than anyone else (12:13) Speak to your beloved more kindly (16:01) Today’s LoveByte (17:53) Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’ve booked your flight, made a hotel reservation, and you’re just about packed for the big trip—and then it happens. That big blow up you’ve avoided this far finally comes to a head and suddenly you find yourself happy to leave your sweetie behind.  Today on Sex, Love, and Elephants I’m talking all about those big fights we have with our partner right before we leave to go on a trip.  I’m teaching you why our predictable patterns are the result of our whole life’s experiences which can trigger us emotionally even when we’re not expecting it. I’m also confessing my own experience picking fights with my sweetie, the subconscious reason these fights happen, and how to deal with it.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: Even my hubby and I used to fall in to the “fight before the flight” pattern (03:16) When we become emotionally flooded, we lose our rationality (08:47) We’re in training—to be a better partner and a better person (10:05) When we have an argument with our beloved we're often arguing about old wounds (13:12) Sometimes you pick a fight because it's easier to leave when you're mad at each other (18:59) Today’s LoveByte (24:06) Read my full blog post here—then check out the article in The Boston Globe! Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You brush your teeth, get into bed to do a little reading, and then kiss your partner goodnight as they leave for their room across the hall. Wait—what?!  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is all about sleeping with your partner—in the literal sense! If you’re anything like 20% of Americans, you and your sweetheart may sleep in separate rooms for any number of reasons.  Sleeping apart can often be a “pink flag” and it’s rarely the only solution. The key is to remember how important the intimacy of sleep is to a healthy, happy relationship.  Whether you’ve been in separate beds for years or you’re considering the change, this episode is for you. In This Episode, You Will Learn: It's really freaking important to sleep in the same bed most of the time (02:51) Far too often a couple sleeps apart for a few days because of sleep issues and then it becomes habit (04:12) Cuddling matters! (07:07) Even if you can’t go to bed at the same time, you still need to practice a nighttime ritual with your sweetheart (09:32) You’re much more likely to make love regularly if you sleep in the same bed (13:44) Today’s LoveByte (16:18) Read the full article in The New York Times here—then listen to my interview on AirTalk! Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE! Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever felt your heart fill with pure, unconditional love at the drop of a hat? Maybe you’ve rescued a poor, helpless kitten on the side of the road, derailing your morning commute to get him to the shelter. That selflessness and kindness is true, altruistic elephant love.  In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll hear part two of my Love Like an Elephant talk. Today is all about true love versus desire love and what that distinction can mean for you and your sweetheart.  Tune in and learn if you love from the typical place—desire love - which can be selfish and cause painful relationship issues—or if you love from true, unconditional elephant love. Don’t believe you can’t love like an elephant - you can. It takes work - and you need to think more about WE than ME.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: Your weekly LoveByte (02:32) How the typical style of love contrasts with the Buddhist elephant ideal of love (04:46) Elephant love is the way we hope a great parent will love their child (12:35) Desire love says, “What about ME?!” Elephant love says, “Anything I can do to help YOUR freedom delights me.” (14:04) Elephant love is loving more freely accepting the imperfections in your beautiful partner (22:08) Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!  Resources mentioned: Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

February 14th… a date that strikes fear into the hearts of millions the world over! But it doesn’t need to be scary. Instead of making it all about me and we, why not try making it about generosity instead? Welcome to episode 94 of Sex, Love, and Elephants. Today, I’m suggesting a different kind of Valentine’s Day: Try paying it forward.  Pick a couple you know who are young, in love, and broke… and think of a way to make February 14th special for them.  This Vday, don’t worry about not booking that reservation. It’s not too late to write a love letter or buy a sweet, cheesy card. It's not too late to get flowers and chocolates, pick up a new toy or to woo them with a bottle of bubbly. It’s never too late to make your sweetheart feel loved and special.  Paying it forward this Vday? Email hello@drcherylfraser.com with the deets for a chance to win a prize! In This Episode, You Will Learn: You can use Valentine’s Day as a reminder to make love intentional (04:29) I want you to design a pay it forward Valentine’s Day for someone in your circle (06:01) Use this as an opportunity to buy a gift card to support a great local business (07:30) Valentine's can be a very we centric holiday—make it a generosity holiday instead (09:26) Valentine’s Day is kind of stupid—but love isn’t! (12:02) Q&A: How can I celebrate Valentine’s Day in a new, fun way? Try paying it forward this Valentine’s Day. Pick a couple you know who might not be able to afford their ideal Valentine’s celebration and get them a gift card to a nice restaurant or a great spa. Take the Passion Quiz NOW and rate your relationship on the Three Keys to Passion! Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Try as we might, every relationship gets stuck in lazy patterns—Yes, even mine. Relationships are a hard gig and it can be incredibly easy to grow complacent, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be stuck without romance or sensuality in your life. Welcome to episode 93 of Sex, Love, and Elephants. During my 2023 Relationship Reboot, I’m giving you real, actionable steps you can take to improve your relationship with your mate. Today, your homework assignment is to learn to schedule sex with your honey.  Tune in today and hear the final episode of my 2023 Relationship Reboot. This past six weeks, I’ve given you a number of challenges to complete with your sweetheart—I want you to take everything you’ve learned and make sure you put it to good use.  Take the Passion Quiz NOW and rate your relationship on the Three Keys to Passion! In This Episode, You Will Learn: There’s still hope! You can always reboot your sexual relationship (03:57) If you’re in a sexless relationship, you are normal (05:47) Sexuality is a powerful, beautiful part of being alive. Sharing it with someone is one of the most sacred things we can do with our bodies  (08:48) Scheduling sex isn’t romantic—but it will give your sex life a boost (11:05) The majority of long term couples start making love from a place of sexual neutrality (14:38) Q&A: How can my partner and I boost our non-existant sex life? Try scheduling sex. It may not sound romantic, but having scheduled sex can help create desire where it wasn’t before.  Take the quiz near the top as well as win a prize—email hello@drcherylfraser.com your relationship reboot results and be entered in the prize draw! If you’re interested in the 2023 session of my 12-week online immersion program for couples Become Passion learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Remember the butterflies and crazy lust you felt when you and your sweetie first started dating? When your honey gets home at the end of a long day, do you greet her at the door, practically bouncing with excitement? And what about deep communication—do you feel known on a spiritual level by your spouse? Not to mention having a rich satisfying sex life… Welcome to episode 91 of Sex, Love, and Elephants.every Monday in January, I’m giving you real, actionable steps you can take to improve your relationship with your mate. Today, your homework is to take my Passion quiz, an important tool for evaluating your relationship Tune in and hear a short lesson on what I call the Passion Triangle—AKA the three main predictors of an exceptional relationship - Intimacy, Thrill, & Sensuality . After that, you can take my quiz to learn about one another AND rate your relationship. Take the Passion Quiz NOW and rate your relationship on the Three Keys to Passion! In This Episode, You Will Learn: Your Relationship Reboot task for this week (04:11) A Passion Triangle mini teaching (05:56) Passion is a teachable skill (08:23) Today’s LoveByte (13:04) Q&A: Is there a way to figure out what’s wrong in my relation ship? H Check out the Passion Quiz and find out how your relationship rates in the three key areas great couples master —then learn the steps to making an okay partnership exceptional.  If you’re interested in the 2023 session of my 12-week online immersion program for couples Become Passion learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“New Year, new you!” Don’t you just hate being overwhelmed by a million different calls for a fresh start every year? Resolutions to get fit or to get rich or to transform your relationship are fine, but what about when it comes to actually taking action? Welcome to episode 89 of Sex, Love, and Elephants. For the month of January, I’m giving you real, actionable steps you can take to improve your relationship with your honey. Today, I’ve got two actions for you to jump-start your Relationship Reboot  Tune in and ask yourself: how can I be a better partner this year? How can I be more mindful in my relationship? And how can I set better intentions? Then take action and plan an adventure date. Win a prize! Send a selfie of your adventure date to hello@drcherylfraser.com In This Episode, You Will Learn: If all we do is consume information without setting intentions and turning them into action, nothing changes (03:50) I actively work to speak more kindly to my partner (05:12) I’m taking my husband on a sexy adventure date (09:34) Make an appointment and a plan to be more romantic (11:18) Today’s LoveByte (15:20) Q&A: What can I do to spice things up with my honey? Take your partner on an adventure date. Try something new and share the experience with your sweetheart. If you’re interested in the 2023 session of my 12-week online immersion program for couples Become Passion learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can sign up for all the triathlons you want, but if you don't buy a bike, get some running shoes, find a bathing suit, and do your research, there’s very little chance at success. Whether it's fitness or your career or your relationship, if you don't take action, nothing happens. Welcome to 2023’s first episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants. For the month of January, I’m giving you real, actionable steps you can take to improve your relationship with your honey. Today, I’m talking about change and why the future of your relationship may be at stake unless you can create it.  Tune in and learn how to ask yourself and your partner the tough questions: Where would I like my relationship to be in 12 months? How would I like to feel? How can I be a better partner?  In This Episode, You Will Learn: A thought experiment involving the future of your romantic relationship (01:47) As difficult as relationships can be, you can create change (03:20) One of the most critical questions to ask yourself: “How do I want to be as a partner?” (06:07) 97% of resolutions fail—so we’re calling them intentions, instead (08:53) Action you can take to start your journey to a better relationship right now (09:55) Today’s LoveByte (14:14) Email hello@drcherylfraser.com with your answers to the 3 questions and win a prize! If you are interested in the 2023 session of my 12-week online immersion program for couples Become Passion learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You may be feeling an emotional letdown now that all the hype, joy and connection of the holiday season is nearly over. Or maybe you’re feeling the aftershocks of the disappointment, the difficulties, and the arguments. Unwinding the lights from the tree, taking out the wrapping-filled trash, and getting back to real life can feel like total whiplash at this time of year—but it doesn’t have to be that way.  This month, I’m rereleasing some of my favorite episodes about topics that crop up around the holiday season. In this episode, I’m talking about the dreaded Christmas hangover and the reason why so many of us suffer from it. Join me in entering 2023 with the commitment to figure out how to be happy for no reason, how to nurture our heart, and how to throw ourselves into the great experiences that life offers us in the coming year.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: When we're geared toward the big hype of one particular day, it’s easy to feel profoundly depressed and confused after it’s over (06:39) We’re allowed to have beautiful things and experiences—the trouble comes when we hang on to those things and we want them to make us happy, because everything ends (07:18) New Year’s Eve is just a day, but it’s a really helpful symbol of renewal for a fresh beginning (10:37) Today’s LoveByte (12:25) Q&A: Why am I so depressed after the holidays are over? If we’re hanging our sense of happiness on one particular day or time of year, it’s only natural that we’ll feel a deep letdown when it’s over.  Enter to win a copy of my book Buddha’s Bedroom! Send a picture of your own polar bear plunge and tell me one resolution you have for your relationship. Email both to hello@drcherylfraser.com for your chance! Let’s Connect! Interested in the 12- week Become Passion online couples program with Cheryl? Learn more and join the waitlist for 2023 HERE Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This season, remember that gifts don’t have to have a monetary value. Show your partner you care by being intentional and letting them know how much they matter to you. A happy, healthy relationship involves shared rituals—why not give your lover the gift of presence? This month, I’m rereleasing some of my favorite episodes about topics that crop up around the holiday season. Today, I’m focusing on the sex and love part of Christmas and showing you some special ways to make this time together magical.  Remember being a kid on Christmas morning, waking up even before the sun… overwhelmed and giddy at the idea of what Santa Claus might’ve brought? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to recapture that special, magical feeling, even long after we stop believing in St. Nick? In This Episode, You Will Learn: Yes, you CAN make the holidays more romantic and sexy and avoid becoming totally burnt out by the end of the season (03:43)  It’s not about the presents, it’s about the presence (10:10) If you've got  little inquiring eyes and ears around, put your stocking stuffer in an envelope or add an IOU for an erotic massage (11:44) If you don't celebrate Christmas, you don't have to put your gifts in a stocking. You can individually wrap each thing—even try a treasure hunt and hide gifts around the house (13:02) Why not try out The 12 Days of Christmas for Couples? Instead of a partridge in a pear tree, what about dancing to a romantic song together in the living room? (17:18) Today’s LoveByte (25:02) Q&A: How can I make Christmas with my partner sexy and special? A fun way to liven up Christmas with your honey is to pick out some sexy treats to fill their stocking and sharing them together in private. If YOU have a question or topics you’d like me to cover on the podcast, email it to me hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! Interested in the 12- week Become Passion online couples program with Cheryl? Learn more and join the waitlist for 2023 HERE Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do we do when the tough stuff happens? How do we draw on our inner elephant courage and wisdom to help us get through the biggest losses in our life? In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll have a front row seat to one of my dharma talks. I’m talking about what we can do during our toughest times, where we can find strength, and the Four Noble Truths.  Tune in and learn that no matter what the winds blow into our life, we don't get to be the weather person. We don't get to choose a fair and sunny day every single day, but we can choose to appreciate those days. In This Episode, You Will Learn: My patient, Janice, is a wonderful example of grace under great duress (03:24) Into our life repeatedly come pleasurable things and unpleasurable things (11:43) The first Noble Truth: Nothing stays the same (15:14) Things change and some of those changes are not going to be what you want (16:30) The second Noble Truth: The cause of our suffering is wanting things to be different (23:50) We can only solve our Dukkha by accepting the truth of what is and letting go (30:03) Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wouldn't you like to be happier? Wouldn't you like to have more ease in your home? More playfulness with your sweetheart? Wouldn't you like to take it to the next step?  Be one of the few select couples who join me inside the Become Passion – Create Love That Lasts a Lifetime 12-week online immersion program for couples. To learn more and to join, click here! We begin THIS Friday, November 4, 2022 and go until January 15, 2023 Today, I’m telling you the real stories of actual couples who have attended my Become Passion program and completely turned their relationships around. You’ll hear about Ed and Jeanine and Jay and Cindy and how they were able to revamp their entire marriages, rediscover their love for one another, and bring back the passion and romance that had been missing for so long.  Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. Q&A: My sex life with my sweetheart hasn’t been the same since we’ve had kids—what can we do to spice things up? Making each other priority number one is the best thing you can do to reignite the spark you once had. Make time for love AND lovemaking. Don’t be afraid to schedule dates. Want to learn more? Join my once yearly course, Become Passion — Create Love That Lasts a Lifetime! Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Become Passion - Create Love that Lasts A Lifetime immersion program waitlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m going to give you a look inside my Passion Masterclass - a FREE couples workshop I do ONCE  a year. It’s packed with information about the 3 Keys to Passion and much more. I also give you the opportunity to take the next steps in your relationship journey with me as your guide and romance cheerleader! (Yes, you can be both a hopeless romantic and a scientist—fun combination.) Here’s the good news: You are NOT alone and it's NOT too late… even if it feels like it! In fact, on average, over 30% of the long-term couples I see in my practice aren’t having any sex whatsoever. In this exclusive Passion Masterclass, you’ll learn about Passion and how you can shift your relationship from where it is to where you want it to be. You’ll learn that extraordinary Lifelong Passion is 100% Possible, but you must beware of Marriage Inc. (AKA running your relationship like a business). You’ll also learn how to create much more intimacy, thrill, and sensuality—no matter where your relationship is currently.  Intrigued? Be one of the few select couples who join me inside the Become Passion – Create Love that Lasts a Lifetime 12-week online immersion program for couples. To learn more and to join, click here! We begin November 4th 2022 and go until January 15th 2023 Want to watch the actual masterclass with video? Click here! In This Episode, You Will Learn: The 3 Keys to Passion – What they are, and Why mastering them will help you cultivate great love and sex that last a lifetime  Intimacy: “Marital Friendship”  Why Learning to Fight Fair is so important. Painful repeating arguments  Thrill: Why it is so difficult to keep the excitement, attraction, and romance going – and what you need to do about it. Getting real Sensuality: How to wake up your erotic life. Did you know most long-term couples make love only a few times a month?  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Interested in joining the Become Passion Program? Doors close in a few days! The program with Dr. Cheryl starts November 4th. Click here to learn more and to register. This is the only time this year Cheryl is teaching Become Passion! It’s a very special week here at Sex, Love, and Elephants because it marks the launch of my 12 week Become Passion couples immersion program. Today, I’m telling you what I know to be true about sex, love, and relationships. Relationships don’t just take care of themselves—they need an investment of time, energy, perseverance, and LOVE.   Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Relationships are a hard gig (04:32)  Sometimes it takes a beautiful example to find the inspiration to love again (08:47) Great partnership takes effort, indulgence, love, forgiveness, and the acceptance of differences (11:52) A brief rundown of my Become Passion program (14:19) If we do nothing, things stay the same—or they get worse (21:00) This week’s LoveByte (22:26) Q&A: How can I liven up my relationship? My honey and I are so boring—help! Relationships take hard work! Think of your relationship like a hobby and put the effort in that you both deserve. Want more? Check out my Become Passion- Create Love That Lasts a Lifetime course starting November 4 and learn how to bring the spark back to your love life.  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today’s minisode, I’m extending you a very special invitation to join me for my FREE Passion Masterclass. Dates start October 25th! Choose the date and time that works best for you. I’m teaching the Three Keys to Great Relationships—and stay for an extensive Q&A! NOW is the only time in 2022 I’m holding this course! Wouldn't you like to be happier? Wouldn't you like to have more ease in your home? More playfulness with your sweetheart? Wouldn't you like to take it to the next step? Then join me for the Become Passion program. This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts November 4. Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program.   Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Become Passion - Create Love that Lasts A Lifetime immersion program waitlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

JOIN Dr. Cheryl’s FREE Passion Masterclass - beginning October 25th! Choose the date and time that works best for you. She’s teaching the Three Keys to Great Relationships—and stay for an extensive Q&A! NOW is the only time in 2022 Dr. Cheryl is holding this course! Today, I’m sharing an excerpt from last week’s live Q&A class. You’ll hear answers to real questions from listeners just like you, like: What should you do when your partner doesn't want to make love? How do you win back your wife's affection when she's three quarters of the way out the door? How much fighting is too much fighting? Listen in on this rare opportunity—you’ll find out all these answers and much, much more. Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program! This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts November 4. Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. Some Questions You’ll Hear Answered Today: Should I continue to try after 17 years with a man who won’t make simple changes to bring more spark to our love life?  When you keep having the same argument and you’re never able to talk through it, how do you move forward? How can I tell my lady friend to put her phone down so that we can have foreplay when we go to bed? How do I accept that my husband prioritizes his children from his first marriage over me?  My partner is totally emotionally unavailable and has a temper tantrum when we argue… How can I communicate with someone who resorts to this behavior? How do I recognize when I'm triggered? How can I hit the pause button and wait for my nervous system to settle?   Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Become Passion - Create Love that Lasts A Lifetime immersion program waitlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

JOIN the free Passion masterclass - choose the date and time that work best for you. This is the only time this year Dr.C Cheryl is teaching it. Today, I’m telling you all about my ill-fated first marriage in my 20’s. I’m talking all about how I fell for my ex, the story behind our incredibly beautiful, big, fat Greek elopement, AND all the reasons our marriage didn’t work out!  Join me on the couch! For the first time ever, I’m offering exclusive office hours. Jump on and ask me YOUR love & sex questions, LIVE.  Tune in every Monday in October and listen to the Fall Into Love, Fall Into Like series. And don’t forget to mark your calendar for October 25! That’s when the first free LIVE online couples workshop begins. Registration coming soon! Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program! This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts November 4. In This Episode, You Will Learn: How my first husband and I met and got together (02:19)  My ex gave me an incredibly romantic spiel that brought my guard down (07:23) Our little elopement turned into an actual BBC production (10:41) We had a full-on Mamma Mia!-style wedding—complete with a flutist and stage design from the West End (12:00) We battled and argued for a year and a half of marriage because we did not have the tools to grow together (14:51) The incredibly powerful divorce ritual that my ex and I created together (17:29) Love isn't enough. It’s a learned skill (22:09) This week’s LoveByte (25:44) Q&A: How can my partner and I stop fighting constantly—over big things and little things? It can be difficult to grow together as a couple without the correct tools. To learn more about the keys to passion and my Passion Triangle, check out my Become Passion- Create Love That Lasts a Lifetime course and learn how couples just like you have learned to create and maintain relationships that stand the test of time. Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

JOIN the free Passion masterclass - choose the date and time that work best for you. This is the only time this year Dr.C Cheryl is teaching it. Today, I’m introducing you to my grandparents Norm and Evelyn, an incredible couple who radically changed my view of what was possible in life and in love. They’re proof that it is possible to keep the thrill, romance, respect, and passion in their relationship alive for more than six decades. I’m telling you all about their awe-inspiring relationship, the beautiful, sensual way they treated each other until the end, and the lesson I learned from them about the absolute power of true love. This October, I’m going to help you fall back into like and fall passionately, thrillingly, sexily in love with your honey. Join me on the couch! For the first time ever, I’m offering exclusive office hours. Wednesday October 12th @ 5:30 pm Pacific/8:30 pm Eastern HERE Tune in every Monday in October and listen to the Fall Into Love, Fall Into Like series. And don’t forget to mark your calendar for October 25! Registration coming soon! To make sure you don’t miss ANY of these announcements and links, join the no-obligation waitlist so you will be there first to know! In This Episode, You Will Learn: Norm emigrated from Wales to Saskatchewan and immediately set his sights on Evelyn (04:41) My grandmother and grandfather had a truly extraordinary love affair (09:23) It’s a learned skill to continue to romance each other, keep the thrill alive, and make sure our sweetheart knows they’re number one (10:33) After Evelyn died, it became even more evident how in sync she was with Norm—in every way (14:22) True love has the power to transcend anything, even Alzheimer’s and death (16:16) This week’s LoveByte (21:09) Q&A: How can I keep the thrill alive with my sweetheart even after so many years together? It seems impossible! Keeping the passion, excitement and romance alive is totally possible. My Passion Triangle—intimacy, thrill, and sensuality—outlines the three keys to a great relationship. Want to learn more? Check out my Become Passion- Create Love That Lasts a Lifetime course and learn how couples just like you have learned to create and maintain relationships that stand the test of time. Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This fall, I’m helping you fall back in love with the one you're already with. I’m going to take you through the 3 keys to passion—AKA The Passion Triangle—and show you exactly how you can use each element to bring back the spark with your sweetheart and take your relationship from dull to exceptional. This October, let me help you fall back into like and fall passionately, sexily, beautifully in love—or at least get a glimmer of how that may be possible for you and your honey. Tune in every Monday in October and listen to the Fall Into Love, Fall Into Like series. And don’t forget to mark your calendar for October 25! That’s when the first free LIVE online couples workshop begins. Stay tuned to hear how to sign up.  Are you ready to reconnect with your honey? To create love and passion that last a lifetime? Join the Become Passion waitlist and hear more about the program! This twelve-week immersion couples program with me, Dr. Cheryl, starts November 4. Want to know more? Check out the Become Passion testimonials for reviews from actual couples that I’ve helped through this profound program. In This Episode, You Will Learn: The first side of the Passion Triangle is intimacy (05:20) The second side of the Passion Triangle is thrill (07:14) The Passion Triangle is the three keys to great relationship (09:55) The third side of the Passion Triangle is sensuality (11:10) This week’s LoveByte (18:05) Q&A: How can I reignite the spark with my partner and bring back the passion that we used to have? The Passion Triangle—intimacy, thrill, and sensuality—are the three keys to a great relationship. Want to learn more? Check out my Become Passion- Create Love That Lasts a Lifetime and learn how to bring intimacy and excitement back to the bedroom and back to your relationship.  Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom  Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.com Let’s Connect! About Me Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Become Passion - Create Love that Lasts A Lifetime immersion program waitlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.