Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Send us a textAre narcissists born or made? And why does this question matter, considering the terrible toll of narcissistic abuse?This week, psychotherapist Dr. Peter Salerno joins me to discuss the root causes of narcissism along with the common misunderstandings about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Learn the importance of understanding the underpinning of this character makeup when it comes to healing and recovery.Follow Dr. Peter Salerno on social media: @drpetersalernoLearn mor...

Send us a textWhat is the impact of childhood abuse on adult relationships? Can children overcome early trauma?Nia Renee joins me this week to discuss the lasting legacy of abuse. She describes the impact of chronic gaslighting and neglect on her later relationships. Learn what role resiliency and determination played in helping break the abuse cycle.Could your child be showing signs of trauma? Learn how to spot early signs of distress in this week’s Podcast Extra. Become a paid subscriber an...

Send us a textAre you speaking up less? Fawning more? There’s a high cost to living with a narcissist, and it could be your identity.This week, Lynn Strathdee, psychodynamic therapist, joins me to discuss echoism, the true opposite personality style to narcissism. She shares how fawning could result in a loss of our very self.To learn more about Lynn’s work:Website: https://www.echoismrecovery.comTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theechochamber?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pcLynn St...

Send us a textDangerous relationships rarely begin physically abusive. Initially, you think you’ve met a fantastic partner, but slowly, the toxicity turns into something more insidious and lethal.Trigger warning: this week, Lisa Sonni and I share vulnerable details of how we missed the early signs of danger in our narcissistic relationships.IF YOU ARE A RISK of immediate danger or abuse, please get in touch with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.References: Why Does He Do...

Send us a textWhen there’s trouble in a relationship, most couples are urged to seek couples counseling.In today’s episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to talk about why this suggestion is a terrible idea if your partner is a narcissist. Too many couples therapists lack the education to identify narcissistic abuse, and narcissistic and toxic partners are highly sophisticated at manipulating the therapeutic process.For help breaking a trauma bond, see Lisa’s resources: https://strongerthanbefore.caIn ...

Send us a textWhat’s the connection between attachment styles and narcissism? This week, Dr. Erin Leonard, a practicing psychotherapist, joins me to discuss the common problems narcissists have with emotional intelligence and creating secure connections with others. She’s recently authored How to Outsmart a Narcissist, where she describes the best ways to protect ourselves from narcissists’ efforts to manipulate and exploit. More about Dr. Leonard: BOOK- How to Outsmart a Narcissist: Use Emot...

Send us a textHave you wondered what a narcissist was thinking? Why would they do what they do? Do they intentionally know they were being cruel?This week, I’m going to re-release an interview I did with Dr. Carter in 2023. In it, he gave a unique perspective on the narcissist’s mindset and explained their worldview and defensiveness. Learn how they so effectively turn the tables on us, making us think we’re the crazy ones. Stay safe this week! I look forward to having you back for our n...

Send us a textHave you noticed that too off family court becomes just another battle ground for the narcissist? Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss post-separation of abuse. Most of us passionately want to protect our children from our toxic ex only to experience more helplessness in the mediation and courtrooms. To learn how to tip the scales in your favor legally, join me for the Podcast Extra interview by becoming a paid subscriber. Learn the common mistake too many parents make, and ...

Send us a textAre you being abused and don’t know it? Not only is society blind to narcissistic abuse, but so are most victims. In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to talk about why narcissistic abuse is so difficult to spot, even to the victims, and the role this plays in the difficulty of getting help.To learn how to break your silence and society’s denial in this week’s podcast extra interview with Lisa. You get access to this resource along with twenty other amazing interviews with exper...

Send us a textEvery person who has dealt with a narcissist has been bullied. This week, expert and author Bill Eddy joins me to discuss what we get wrong about bullying behavior and the practical steps we all should take to better protect ourselves from antagonistic and vindictive people. To learn more about Bill Eddy and his work, visit: https://highconflictinstitute.comAnd be sure to check out his latest book, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them - How to Stop Them: https://amzn...

Send us a textLeaving is a moral choice. Often, breaking up or divorce is viewed as a personal choice, but it has ramifications and is character-defining. Rossana Faye joins me this week to discuss why sometimes it becomes a moral dilemma to leave our narcissistic partner. Deciding to divorce is often not as clear-cut for many of us. Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Substack!&...

Send us a textThese days, it seems like everyone is a narcissist. Is the label of narcissist or narcissistic harmful or helpful? This week, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the importance and impact of identifying narcissistic abuse and dysfunctional relationship dynamics. Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Substack! Follow Dr. McAvoy!YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphdInstagram: @kerry...

Send us a textDivorcing a narcissist often ends up a contentious battle. Victims come into court shaken up and traumatized, whereas their toxic ex appears poised and confident. Today, two Toronto legal mediators, Amanda Silver and Alex Howard, are joining me. They are also the co-hosts of the Dirty Laundry Podcast. They are going to share how to protect your interests better when leaving a narcissist. To learn more about Amanda and Alex, please see: Podcast: https://dirtylaundry.buzzsprout.co...

Send us a textWhat if you're not going to leave a narcissist? What if leaving isn't possible? Is there a way to survive a toxic relationship? Sometimes, leaving a toxic relationship isn't possible due to complex reasons. Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss why some victims find themselves trapped in a bad partnership and what to do if this describes your situation. Resources Referenced:Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist by Dr. Ramani Durvasula: https...

Send us a textHave you heard of trauma dumping? It’s become a new way to attack victims for talking about their narcissistic abuse experiences. Rossana Faye joins me as this week’s special guest to explore the importance of sharing your trauma and the role it plays in helping you heal from abuse. And you don’t want to miss this week’s Podcast Extra where Ro and I discuss the differences between trauma reprocessing and trauma dumping. For this exclusive interview, subscribe here: substack.com/...

Send us a textIn celebration of the upcoming holiday, this episode features three of our listeners’ favorites. Listen in as Tara Blair Ball and I discuss:1. How narcissistic abuse is different from emotional abuse2. Why covert narcissists are difficult to spot3. If it's true that narcissists make good loversListen to the full episodes here:S2 EP 33: Were you emotionally abused or narcissistically abused? Why the differences matterS2 EP 38: Are you trapped by a covert narcissist? The top reaso...

Send us a textThe mind of a narcissist is wildly self-absorbed and oblivious to those around them. They are excessively focused on me, me, me. Dr. Les Carter joins me to discuss what victims get wrong about the mind of a narcissist. He shares how our assumptions and misunderstandings create false hope, causing us to stay too long and to give too many chances. To learn more about Dr. Carter: Visit Website & his Surviving Narcissism YouTube channel.Dr. Carter's book: When Pleasing You Is Ki...

Send us a textCould you be trauma-bonded to a narcissist? Are you battling a strange mix of love and fear? Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss trauma bonds--an intense connection to another person that is very difficult to break. We think we feel love when it's based on fear. Learn more about how to recognize if you're trauma-bonded and why it's so difficult to leave. Become a subscriber and get the Podcast Extra exclusive conversation about WHY identifying and breaking a trauma bond is ...

Send us a textHave you asked yourself, "Why can't I leave?" You know you should. You've even started hiding the ugly truth of what's really going on behind closed doors. In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss late-stage cognitive dissonance. Learn the underlying cause of the agonizing confusion that paralyzes the victim from acting in their own best interest. Find out what it took for us to break free from its terrible grip.To learn more about cognitive dissonance, become a Podcast E...

Send us a textHave you left a relationship feeling duped? Not just betrayed, but conned? You’ve likely met a covert narcissist.In this episode, Elena Sagredos, author of But They’re So Nice, joins me to talk about the deceptiveness of covert abuse. We often miss the signs we’ve met a covert narcissism behind their guise of niceness, only later to discover their extreme duplicity. To learn more about Eleni, you can follow her here:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nonarcsenseInstagram: https://w...

Send us a textRelationships with narcissists can be confounding, confusing, and incredibly frustrating. Join Dr. Kerry for this holiday episode when she revisits the highlights of her three favorite interviews. Hear Dr. Les Carter’s explanation of why narcissists are so tricky, Lisa Sonni’s three steps to breaking a trauma bond, and Dr. Robin Stern’s disturbing description of gaslighting’s power. To listen to these full episodes: Dr. Les Carter: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/p...

Send us a textAre you battling toxic in-law drama? Is your mother-in-law or father-in-law intruding into your relationship or family?This week, Rossana Faye joins us to discuss common toxic in-law drama, particularly when it involves a narcissistic mother- or father-in-law. This week's self-help tip is the importance of strengthening your couple's boundaries over time. Question for you: Is your toxic mother-in-law ruining your marriage or partnership? In this week's Podcast Extra, Ro and I di...

Send us a textDo you find yourself exasperated or angry at your partner, but you aren’t sure why? Do they put you into no-win binds?Covert narcissists love to play subtle, often hidden mind games. They are masterful at twisting the truth, hiding exploitative agendas, and playing the victim, enraging their partners and families while keeping them in the dark. In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins to discuss the common mind games covert narcissists use. This week's self-help tip is how to use ...

Send us a textHave you noticed managing boundaries with narcissists always fails? That they find some tricky way to evade limit setting? Suddenly, you’re being accused of being too controlling or sensitive, or they can’t understand what you're asking. In this podcast, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the problems of managing boundaries with narcissists. We'll explore this issue from a narcissist's perspective: why they find boundaries threatening. The self-help tip is the importance of evaluati...

Send us a text(Trigger Warning: This episode contains graphic descriptions of abuse.)This week, Jessica Kent, a wildly popular social media figure, joins me to share her story of escaping abuse. Jessica reveals how covert narcissistic abuse can go from subtle to violent, especially when victims leave the relationship. Jessica Kent is best known for prison reform advocacy. To learn more about her and her work:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JessicaKentInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/je...

Send us a textSometimes, the truth can be right in front of you, but you still can't see it. Rossana Faye joins me this week to discuss a concept Dr. Jennifer Freyd, in her book Blind to Betrayal, calls “betrayal blindness.” Some truths can be so devastating that they are difficult to face. And, the self-help tip is the importance of listening to what feels off, uncomfortable, or wrong to recognize signs you may be missing critical details in your relationship or family.Blind to Betrayal: Why...

Send us a textIs it ever okay to go through your partner's phone? I've been guilty of snooping and might consider doing it again.Narcissists and toxic personalities are masters at creating ambiguity. My ex used to readily offer me his credit card after we first started dating. He'd send photos of broken machinery and take me on company runs, all as a way to build trust so that I couldn't tell real company crises from manufactured ones. I later learned he'd created this elaborate ruse to hide ...

Send us a textAn all-too-common problem is narcissists and pets. Toxic people often pose a serious danger to our beloved animals. In this podcast, Lisa Sonni and Dr. Kerry discuss the relationship toxic people often have with their family pets. Narcissists will often shower animals with love and attention only to harm the pets in private. The self-help tip includes some important boundaries to consider when beginning a relationship with someone new. Now, you don't need to wait a week for your...

Send us a textHave you been a victim of spiritual abuse? It's not just interpersonal relationships that can be toxic, but also group systems and leaders. Many are stepping forward to expose toxic church leadership and oppressive and abusive spiritual belief systems. This week, Natalie Hoffman, author of Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse and her latest book, All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir, joins me to discu...

Send us a textHave you ever wondered, "Am I the narcissist?" Have you been accused of being the problem? In this podcast episode, Rossana Faye joins me to discuss how to know who's creating the chaos. Narcissists are notorious for never seeing themselves as the root cause, but how do we know that the issue isn't us? And the self-help tip is how to use your history to identify dysfunctional relationship patterns. Please join me for the weekly Podcast Extra! For just $5 a month, ...

Send us a textIs being overly controlling a form of abuse? In this podcast episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the subtleties of coercive control. Learn how to recognize the common control tactic of this insidious form of abuse. And this week's self-help tip is to assess how your partner's feelings and demands affect you. Are you doing less and becoming increasingly isolated to please them?Would you like to learn more about this topic? Be sure to become a subscriber for the weekly Podcast...

Send us a textStonewalling or giving someone the silent treatment is one of the nastiest forms of unfair fighting. When we ignore or reject another person's bid for a connection more than thirty percent of the time, the likelihood the relationship won't make it dramatically increases. In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss why stonewalling is such a popular toxic behavior and what to do if it's happening to you. A big thank you to this podcast's sponsor, GettheTea.com. Check ou...

Send us a textHave you wondered what's wrong with me? This could be a sign of gaslighting. Dr. Robin Stern, psychoanalyst, author, and expert on gaslighting, joins me to discuss the underlying dynamics of a toxic or narcissistic relationship. She delves into the hidden motivations of both the gaslighter as well as the gaslightee. •Learn more about Dr. Stern: https://robinstern.com•The Gaslight Effect Podcast: https://robinstern.com/podcast/about-the-gaslight-effect-podcast/•My Interview with ...

Send us a textLeaving often brings along with it a fear of change. We might dread how change will affect our kids or our friendships. Maybe we're concerned about how leaving could disrupt life as we know it. In this podcast episode, Tara and Dr. Kerry discuss the fears of change they faced and how they overcame them to leave. Tara also is leaving the show and shares about her future plans. The self-help tip is the power of letter writing to find closure after leaving a toxic relationship. &nb...

Send us a textCould living with a narcissist be making you sick? Are you struggling with more illnesses? Maybe you even have an autoimmune disease.In this podcast episode, Tara Blair Ball and Lisa Sonni discuss the invisible impact of living with a narcissist on our health. Learn how narcissists and other toxic people not only sabotage our self-care but also impact our physical and mental health. Resources: The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk- https://amzn.to/3Sh06nc &nb...

Send us a textAre you stuck in a bad relationship? Are you wondering if you have good enough reasons enough to leave? In this podcast episode, Rossana Faye, Rollercoaster of Love, joins to me to discuss how self-doubt can trap us in a bad relationship. How we can get stuck in our own heads, which only adds to the confusion we already feel in narcissistic relationships. And the self-help tip is the power of finding forgiveness for ourselves through acceptance and love.You don't need to wait a ...

Send us a textAre you considering divorcing a narcissist? Wondering how to do it safely?In today's podcast, Kate Anthony, a High-Conflict Divorce Coach and author of The D Word, joins me to discuss how to become our own best advocate when leaving a narcissist. She covers the top dos and don'ts to exiting these challenging and even dangerous relationships. Kate Anthony: https://kateanthony.comThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage: https://amzn.to/3HDbTHhDid you know you ...

Send us a textAre you feeling off-balanced? Do you wonder how your narcissistic partner or loved one is keeping you confused? In this podcast episode, Tara is joined by Lisa Sonni of Stronger Than Before, and they delve into how narcissists and toxic people employ intermittent reinforcement and other manipulative strategies to keep victims confused. The self-help tip is the importance of analyzing one's investment in a relationship. Ask yourself, "Is the giving and support mutually reciprocal...

Send us a textOne of many harmful stereotypes men face is that they can't be victims of narcissistic abuse, yet the rates of narcissism are nearly equal between men and women. In this episode, Brent MacLerie, social media activist and advocate for gender issues, joins Tara and me to discuss his experience of narcissistic abuse along with the common challenges many male victims face in abusive relationships. To follow Brent: https://www.tiktok.com/@expatriarchResource: Couple Skills: Making Yo...

Send us a textWhen there's been a massive breach of trust, victims experience what's called betrayal trauma. Yet, there's often a rush to fix the duplicitous partner instead of the one betrayed, neglecting the victims' psychological devastation. In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins Dr. Kerry as a regular special guest, and they discuss victims' common betrayal reactions. And the self-help tip is the importance of prioritizing your own mental health if you're the one who'...

Send us a textDid you think you had met the most amazing person only to discover you had married a stranger? Narcissists and other toxic personalities often wait until their partners are trapped by commitment before beginning more serious abuse and betrayals. In this episode, Tara and Kerry share how narcissists often unmask their real selves after moving in together or while on the honeymoon. And, the self-help tip is the importance of finding the right help with facing this kind of a ...

Send us a textAre you managing trauma triggers in new situations or at family holiday celebrations? Are you struggling with sudden fears, rushes of emotions, or disturbing flashbacks?In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara discuss coping with trauma triggers after narcissistic abuse. Learn helpful strategies for managing these challenging and unexpected triggers.Hey, we are now offering mid-week podcast audio extras, only found on Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Podcast Substack newsletter....

Send us a textDo you struggle each holiday with the toxic family drama? In this episode, Tara and I discuss the common traps that can keep us from having a meaningful celebration. The self-help tip is how to re-adjust our mindset and expectations so that we accept imperfection as a part of every experience. Join Our Newsletter!And receive weekly behind-the-scenes insights, backstories, and resources. When you sign up, receive our free video gift, "The Narcissists: Insights We Wish W...

Send us a textWhat red flags are you missing? Are you ignoring the early warning signs of a possible toxic relationship? In this podcast episode, Dr. Heidi Brocke from the It's Not Normal, It's Toxic podcast joins us to share the common reasons we fail to recognize the initial symptoms of a toxic relationship. To learn more about Dr. Heidi: https://coachingwithdrheidi.comIt's Not Normal, It's Toxic podcast: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/its-not-normal-its-toxic?sfw=pass1701135483Join Our Ne...

Send us a textDependency can be an early red flag that you're trapped in a traumatic bond with a narcissist. When you feel like life without them is meaningless. In this week's episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara draw from personal experience the first signs that signaled their trauma bonds and what to do if this is happening to you.The self-help tip is on staying grounded in the present to sidestep the pitfalls of 'future faking.'For more insightful advice, practical strategies, and useful tips, sub...

Send us a textAre you fighting a lot? Maybe it's better to learn how not to win an argument with a narcissist. In this podcast, Dr. Kerry and Tara delve into the problem of arguing with a narcissist. Why these discussions often go sideways with the end result of hurt feelings and being defeated. And the self-help tip is practical things to remember the next time a narcissist tries to bait you into a heated discussion. How to stay cool and in control of yourself. Links: Nameless Narcissist Vid...

Send us a textHave you wondered why narcissists ruin holidays? Why they can't let you enjoy Thanksgiving, Christmas, or your birthday? In this podcast episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara share their insights and tips, along with some personal stories about this common pattern among narcissists and other toxic people. And the self-help tip is the importance of having "self-care" boundaries to handle uncomfortable holiday situations. Join Our Newsletter!And receive weekly behind-the-scenes insights, b...

Send us a textAre you suddenly alone? Learn how a narcissist isolates you as a way to gain control over you. How they cut you off from your closest friends and family, making you more vulnerable to abuse. Are you looking for an understanding community? Join Dr. Kerry's Toxic-Free Relationship Club with weekly live group video office hours. https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/toxic-free-relationship-club/Books mentioned: BIFF by Bill Eddy: https://amzn.to/3FFqm4DCoparenting with a Toxic Ex by...

Send us a textDo you want to know why you're not spotting a covert narcissist? Learn what is a covert narcissist and the early signs you've met someone toxic.In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara take a deep dive into the top reasons why so many of us struggle to spot a this particularly toxic group of narcissists. And in the self-help tip, learn what to do if someone you know threatens to harm themselves. Join Our Newsletter!And receive weekly behind-the-scenes insights, backstories, and resou...

Send us a textAre all narcissists abusive? Aren't we unfairly classifying a group of wounded people as toxic or dangerous? Tara and I address this common accusation about narcissists and other toxic people in this podcast episode.The self-help tip is how to use a detailed history of our personal background to determine if we might be the one causing the relationship problems.Join Our Newsletter!And receive weekly behind-the-scenes insights, backstories, and resources. When you sign up, receiv...

Send us a textHave you wondered what's real? Maybe you've noticed how narcissist keeps you in the dark--that they say one thing while doing something else. In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara delve into this all-too-common victim's experience of intense confusion that accompanies most narcissistic relationships. And the self-help tip is the importance of having a nonjudgemental, supportive friend for a helpful perspective. Link: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira KirshenbaumJoin Our N...

Send us a textHave you wondered why narcissists hate limit setting? Why are your boundaries treated as though optional, yet they treat theirs like ultimatums?In this podcast episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara explore the common difficulties we experience limit setting with narcissists. Instead of a self-help tip, we've answered a listener's question that was emailed to us. She asked how do you know when someone's addiction recovery isn't real.Join Our Newsletter!And receive weekly behind-the-scenes ...

Send us a textHave you ever asked yourself, Why isn't my narcissistic partner changing despite going to therapy? Many narcissists claim they've never worked harder yet their abusive behavior continues.In this podcast episode, Kerry and Tara share from their personal experiences how to know when a narcissistic partner is truly doing the work to save a troubled relationship.And the self-help tip is a simple exercise on how to test a narcissistic partner's sincerity in making real change.Conside...

Send us a textWhy distinguish narcissistic abuse from emotional abuse? Aren’t both referring to the same thing? In this episode, Kerry and Tara take a closer look at how narcissistic abuse uses deception to confuse and dupe victims. And the self-help tip is on how to use expressive writing for healing from abuse.LINK: Defining Narcissistic Abuse: The Case for Deception as Abuse by Kristen Milstead, PhD Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefro...

Send us a textWhat should you do if you get trapped in a bad relationship? Narcissistic abuse victims often have limited financial means and little social support. In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara answer a listener's letter of someone who finds themselves exactly in this position. The self-help tip is about the importance of giving yourself permission to prioritize your own needs first. Link: What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Shad Helmstetter, PhD Support Us:Become a supporter of t...

Send us a textHow do you know if it's love bombing vs. real love? What signs should we be watching out for when meeting someone new? Does the problem of love bombing only apply to narcissists, or do other people do it too? In this podcast episode, Kerry and Tara share from their personal experience the common mistakes we make separating love bombing from real love. Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefrom...

Send us a textCan narcissism be linked with sex addiction, and what exactly is sex addiction? In this episode, Kerry and Tara delve into the intimacy challenges that some individuals with narcissistic tendencies face. Instead of providing this week's self-help tip, they address a listener's question: "Can a narcissist change?"Link: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 2 Episode 14: Am I more vulnerable to toxic relationships because I have ADHD or Autism? The answer might surpris...

Send us a textIs empathy a good indicator you've met a healthy person? Narcissists are often thought of as emotionally cold and insensitive, yet this stereotype couldn't be further from the truth. In this episode, Kerry describes why we often initially miss the signs we've met someone toxic. Learn the difference between instrumental and compassionate empathy. Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcab...

Send us a textIn this episode, Tara flips the script and interviews Kerry. Dive in as Kerry reveals a hidden gem that's been her shield against tough times. Tune in to discover how you too can stand tall against the shadows of narcissistic harm.Links: How He Gets Into Her Head by Don HennesseySupport Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfr...

Send us a textIn this episode, Tara and Kerry interview Lisa Sonni, author and trauma bond expert, on the development of powerful psychological attachments. Lisa shares how to recognize if we’re trauma bonded and how to know if we are breaking this toxic interpersonal connection. This episode demystifies the intense attachment so many of us have with toxic people with helpful, yet hard-hurting truths. Links: Lisa's WebsiteTrauma Bond Recovery JournalRebuilding After a Trauma B...

Send us a textIn this episode, we get a behind-the-scenes look into our co-host, Tara's life. She shares how she has learned to find joy and where her real source of power is after surviving abuse.Links: Tara's WebsiteGrit: The Power of Passion and PerseveranceSupport Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfreewithkerrytara.comNewsletter: ht...

Send us a textIn this episode, Tara and Kerry interview Dr. Les Carter, a psychologist with wildly popular YouTube channel and podcast, Surviving Narcissism about the narcissistic mindset. Dr. Carter demystifies why these individuals are so good at turning the tables on us, making us feel like the crazy ones. Links: Dr. Carter's YouTube ChannelSupport Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook...

Send us a textIn this episode, Kerry and Tara respond to a listener's letter about the struggle of recovering from even just a situationship with a narcissist. Relationships with narcissists can impact us negatively even when they aren't long-term ones! And today's self-help tip is about learning to replace previous/negative habits and behaviors with positives ones. Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfr...

Send us a textIn this episode, Kerry and Tara share some of their struggles with figuring out the difference between being selfish and having self-respect. Many of us see boundaries or self-care as inherently "selfish." And today's self-help tip is assessing the motive of your or others' actions.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfree...

Send us a textIn this episode, Kerry and Tara share the initial signs they had broken the trauma bond with their exes. Intense connections get formed with toxic partners and family members that can be very controlling. Breaking them is an essential part of healing. And today's self-help tip is using your observational power to recall possible consequences of any potential action as a personal boundary. Links: Betrayal Bonds: Breaking Free of Exploitative Relationships by Patrick CarnesBr...

Send us a textIn this episode, Kerry and Tara address a common fallacy that all relationships are a lot of hard work. We will explore why many of us struggle to recognize signs of a toxic partnership. And the self-help tip is using our bodily sensations to identify safe connections and situations. Links: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay GibsonRecovery from Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay GibsonToxic People by Lillian GlasseBreaking Free from Narcissistic ...

Send us a textIn this episode, Kerry and Tara tackle one of the most asked questions of abuse survivors: how do I know if I should leave? We'll discuss the common hindrances to making this decision and how to support a loved one who's trapped in this kind of indecisiveness. Today's self-help tip is to make a realistic budget for expenses if you should decide to leave. Links: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira KirshenbaumBreaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 52:&n...

Send us a textIn this episode, Kerry and Tara discuss a particularly dangerous group of people, the Dark Triad Personality Disorders. And today's self-help tip is how to assess if someone you know is a one. Links: Is My Partner Toxic or Dangerous? Find out with this short survey If you’re wanting to exit a toxic relationship safety, here are some things to consider. Adam GrantDefinition of the Light Triad Personality type Robert Hare, Ph.D. Expert on psyc...

Send us a textIn this episode, Kerry and Tara tackle how complicated it can be when the narcissists in your life can also be friends or family members. And the self-help tip is a visualization strategy for your boundaries. Links: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 69: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/12420137-ready-for-the-holidays-my-three-top-tips-for-dealing-with-difficult-relatives-and-in-lawsSupport Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouT...

Send us a textVictims of narcissistic abuse often complain about seeing happy photos of their exes on social media. In this episode, Kerry and Tara will discuss why some people move on so quickly and easily after leaving a relationship. And the Self-Help Tip will be how to use "containment" for intense emotions like grief. Links: "Understanding the Way Men Grieve" Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson, Ph.D. Support Us:Become a supporter of the show ...

Send us a textHave you noticed how narcissists and toxic people morph into someone new once love-bombing is over? In this episode, Kerry and Tara examine the chameleon-like nature of personality disorders and how this creates confusion and self-doubt for victims. And the self-help tip is a helpful exercise to expose if this dynamic is happening in your current relationship. Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @br...

Send us a textBreaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse will be dropping a new episode on May 8, 2023. In the meantime feel to listen to previous episodes here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391 Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfreewithkerrytara.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreewithkerryandtara.substack.com/Website: https://www....

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara tackle the power of reactive abuse to make some narcissistic abuse victims feel crazy. And the self-help tip is how to increase the effectiveness of an affirmation by pairing it with a positive behavior. Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfreewithkerrytara.comNewsletter: https:...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the vulnerabilities those of us with ADHD or Autism might have in regards to toxic relationships. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice boundaried sharing with the social skyscraper.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfreewithkerrytara.comNewsletter: https://breakingfr...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the myth of sex in the narcissistic relationship, and how it might be bad, weaponized, or even assaultive. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice red light/green light in assessing if and what you should do in regards to physical intimacy in a current or new relationship.Links: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 44: Listen here.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:Yo...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the signs of cognitive dissonance and the impact it can have on us physically, mentally, and emotionally. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice H.A.L.T in order to get back to practicing the basics.Links: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 24: If it’s that bad, why don’t narcissistic abuse victims just leave? Listen here.Anonymity by Susan Bergman Why Can't I Just Leave? by Dr. Kristen Milstead&...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss how we might actually gaslight in healthy relationships and how to avoid doing this in the future. And, the self-help tip is on letting others "earn" our trust before blindly giving it to them.Links: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 30: Listen here.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @brea...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss codependency vs. Super Traits, what's the difference, and why we differ in how we feel about each of the terms. And, the self-help tip is on how to create a list of top lines for yourself.Links: Repeat After Me by Claudia BlackCodependent No More by Melody Beattie: Melody BeattieFacing Codependency: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Miller, Miller, and McMillanNot Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara give an intimate look at the emotional power of a trauma bond. How trauma bonds create mental confusion and a psychological dependence on the abuser. And, the self-help tip is on the importance of identifying and protecting non-negotiable boundaries.Links: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1 episode 58: Listen here.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInsta...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss co-parenting challenges when you have a toxic ex. How do you stay regulated when kids are involved, and what do you do when the kids are being used as pawns? Today's self-help tip is learning to talk to yourself as if you were a friend.Links: OnwardOurFamilyWizardWeParentCustodyConnectionParentship2HousesBreaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1 episode 66: Listen here.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. G...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss why your toxic ex might come back and try to lovebomb you after the break-up through, what may seem like, innocent requests of friendship. We agree that while their offer may seem tantalizing, DON'T do it! Today's self-help tip is a different way to approach communicating with toxic people.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFaceboo...

Send us a textIn this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss following through with limited contact or no contact after a break-up. What is limited vs. no contact? How long should you do it for? And WHY should you do it? Today's self-help tip is one way to self-soothe during reactive abuse.Links: "How to Go No Contact With Your Ex," (Use the code "PODCAST" to receive 35% off!)Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @...

Send us a textResearch has found that over 99% of victims in abusive relationships were also being financially abused. Could you be experiencing financial abuse? In this episode, Kerry and Tara will identify the common indicators of this abuse type along with some suggestions on how to overcome it. And today's self-help tip discusses the importance of leading with your head and not your heart when making big relationship decisions.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in To...

Send us a textIn this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the common problem of exes trying to return after a breakup. Tara also shares why it's necessary to be careful with following self-help advice in this week's self-help tip. Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfreewithkerrytara.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreewithkerry...

Send us a textIn this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the use of narcissistic abuse. It's become a very popular topic on social media. Is it being overused? Then in the Self-Help Tip for today, we'll share how to handle a common argument tactic like DARVO.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfreewithkerrytara.comNewsletter: https...

Send us a textIn this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss setting realistic goals in 2023 and the Self-Help Tip is a simple strategy on how to hold better boundaries.Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfreewithkerrytara.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreewithkerryandtara.substack.com/Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabus...

Send us a textWelcome back to a new season! I’m being joined with a co-host, Tara Blair Ball, author & relationship coach and kicking off a new self-help tip segment. Support Us:Become a supporter of the show here. Get in Touch:YouTube: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseInstagram: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseFacebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuseE-mail: hello@breakingfreewithkerrytara.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreewithkerryandtara.substack.com/Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissis...

Send us a textNarcissist and other difficult people love to ruin the holidays. They will find some way to make it harder on you.In this episode I’m going to offer three of my favorite tips on how to manage this year’s holiday season so that it’s more manageable and meaningful.I'll be back next year for season 2!Register now to 6 Steps to Reclaiming Inner Peace and Confidence. Group coaching with Trey de la Torre and Dr. McAvoy. Next six sessions start January 7th.Follow me on Tiktok, Instagra...

Send us a textNarcissistic abuse damages our sense of self because our sense of self is constantly in flux. An exchange of psychological influence occurs between us and those around us.This episode will look closely at this process and how abuse impacts it as well as outline some ways to begin healing self-esteem after abuse.Get early bird tickets to How Could He Do That? Live Interview with Lundy Bancroft. Watch the webinar live and have some of your questions answered. Ticketholders will al...

Send us a textHave you noticed how narcissists can take a seemingly straightforward decision and turn it into an exhausting, nonsensical circular argument? The constant conflict can mess with us and make us think we’re the problem.In this episode, we will explore this common dynamic, including how to determine who’s creating the problems.Register now to 6 Steps to Reclaiming Inner Peace and Confidence. Group coaching with Trey de la Torre and Dr. McAvoy. Next six sessions start January 7th.Jo...

Send us a textDoes abuse affect children the same way as the adult partner? Today, I’m joined by Bri Peterson of Abuse is Abuse. Both of us experienced emotional or narcissistic abuse as children and adults.In this episode, we will explore the differences between both types of abuse. Was the cognitive dissonance the same? How did that affect our sense of self?Watch the replay of the webinar with Dr. Sandra L. Brown "How Could I’ve Fallen for a Dangerous Man?"Get early bird tickets to How Coul...

Send us a textAnyone looking for a mental health clinician with expertise in narcissistic abuse knows this is challenging. What makes this so difficult?In this episode, we’ll explain why finding a therapist is difficult and give tips on how to vet a potential one.Watch the replay of the webinar with Dr. Sandra L. Brown "How Could I’ve Fallen for a Dangerous Man?"Get early bird tickets to How Could He Do That? Live Interview with Lundy Bancroft. Watch the webinar live and have some of your que...

Send us a textTrauma bonds are painful connection with another person that is based on fear. There’s an addictive quality making them very hard to break.In this episode, we will briefly define a trauma bond and then identify the initial steps to breaking one.Get early bird tickets to How Could He Do That? Live Interview with Lundy Bancroft. Watch the webinar live and have some of your questions answered. Ticketholders will also get a recording of the webinar. Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Y...

Send us a textIt’s become popular to spend time thinking about psychopathic and narcissistic abuses—for us to obsess over what’s happened to us.In this episode, we’ll explore whether this way of thinking is good for us and how to tell if we’re falling into unhealthiness as we try to make sense of the past.Sandra L. Brown Webinar Video Replay. How Could I've Fallen for a Dangerous Man? Watch it here.You don't have to stay locked in the emotional prison from narcissistic abuse. Join this series...

Send us a textHave you heard of the acronym DARVO? It’s a nasty type of gaslighting that flips the script and attacks us when we bring up an issue.In this episode, we will address the underlying dynamic of this abusive practice along with the three steps to combatting it effectively.Sign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist. Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Become a member of Dr. Kerry McAvoy's exclusive Facebook group, Toxic-Free Relati...

Send us a textIt’s tough when you first leave a narcissistically abusive relationship. Your partner has made most of the decision, and over time, you’ve given up more and more of yourself, betraying yourself and your sense of safety. How is trust rebuilt?In this episode, we will examine why reclaiming our self-integrity and relying on our intuition is challenging, along with a few practical steps to begin your healing. The interview with Sandra L. Brown, mentioned several times, went fantasti...

Send us a textThe most common, useless advice given to victims is just to leave. Why do we say this when we know it’s hurtful and probably, not useful?In this episode, we will examine the underlying biases and assumptions about abuse and abuse victims. Why there’s a cultural blindness to victims’ plight and how it leads us to neglect this most vulnerable group.Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook! @kerrymcavoyphdSign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissis...

Send us a textI recently started reading a book that’s been around a while—Neil Strauss’ book called The Game, though he’s since come out against the practices described in it. It’s all about his experiences of learning how to manipulate women sexually through post-hypnotic suggestions and other psychologically manipulative strategies. Despite knowing there are online resources and groups encouraging predatory behavior, we tend to hold victims responsible for the abuse.In this episo...

Send us a textHave you heard of the term “trauma bond?” It’s a condition similar to being brainwashed by Stockholm’s Syndrome. Victims recovering from narcissistic abuse liken the breaking of a trauma bond to overcoming a heroin addiction.In this podcast episode, we will cover the seven stages of a trauma bond and how to begin recovery.If you think you’re struggling with a trauma bond, here are two incredible resources: First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist and The Trauma Bond Re...