Life Uncut

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. Today's ep is unlike anything we have had to record before and are heartbroken by the decision that has been made for the show. 

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

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Hey Lifers!
Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions.

There's a woman who found out her partner was cheating on her, so she took the urn that had his grandmother's ashes in it! Is this the ultimate bargaining tool or kind of cruel?
We then asked you for some of the funny things you've taken during a break up. 
Vibes for the week:
Keeshia Simple Interval Training app 
Laura Mco Beauty Instant Contour Cream Bronzer
Britt Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy on Netflix

Then we jump into your questions!

PARENTS GAVE MORE MONEY TO MY SIBLING
A couple of years ago, my sibling got married and my parents gave them a substantial monetary gift for their wedding (I got a 1/3 of the amount for my wedding the year before, but was still so grateful for anything). A few months after their wedding, they wanted to buy a house and were loaned the entire deposit from my parents to pay back. A couple of years on, they have not paid a cent back and my parents haven’t asked for it either. I have received approximately 50k less than them over the past 3 years and now that there’s been no repayments or discussions about this, I’m starting to become bitter. They seem to be living a comfortable life and can certainly afford to do more than my parents can. I’m frustrated at both my sibling and parents but don’t want this to seem like I am only chasing money- I want there to be accountability. How would you handle this with your family members?

GETTING FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE ELSE WHILST ENGAGED
I am in a relationship of almost 9 years and we are engaged. He is the most amazing person ever and ticks all the boxes but the sexual attraction and lust has left for me. I’m starting to have feelings for someone else which is controlling a lot of my emotions at the moment and it’s clouding my judgement!! My fiance and I have just bought a house and have a 11 month old puppy. His parents have gone guarantors for our place too. I feel like I’m stuck in a rock and a hard place with which way to go about it. Do I stay with my current fiance because he is the sweetest guy who would do anything for me or follow my head and heart and take a chance on this other person or even just try it out being single for a while? I’m in my late 20s and just scared I might be stuck in the mentality that I have a lot to lose but also might not be in love anymore.

HOW TO RECONNECT AFTER HAVING A BABY
I am a first time mum, our baby is now 10 months old. I have been really struggling with connecting to my partner in the last 6 months or so. He's a great dad and I love seeing him with our son but it feels like we've just lost the spark. I don't feel special or 'wanted' anymore. It doesn't help that he injured himself pretty badly in July and hasn't been able to carry his weight around the house - this has left me doing all the cooking, cleaning, bath and bed with the baby, etc. We live in a small rural town away from family so I don't have any help around the house as well, which adds another layer of stress. Months ago Laura mentioned something about just 'getting through those early years' when you have a baby in terms of staying with your partner. She said it gets a lot better once babies grow up a bit. I would love to hear more about this and I suppose my question is, how can I try to reconnect with my partner

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We initially got to know Kate DeAraugo in 2005 when she won the crown of Australian Idol! She was just 18 years old. But her post Idol journey was anything but a fairytale; it spiralled into addiction and legal troubles. In 2017, Kate was convicted of drug possession, drug driving and weapons possession. 

This conversation with Kate is a deeply honest recount of what it can be like when you live with addiction. Kate has what a lot of us would describe as an addictive personality, someone who took everything to the extreme. She says that when she drank, she drank too much. When she ate, she ate too much. When she loved, she loved too much. These behaviours took Kate to some fairly dark places. 

Kate shares:

After winning Idol, the only thing anyone spoke about was her body

Record labels saying she needed to lose weight and having full body liposuction at age 19

The narrative of addicts being from ‘broken homes’ isn’t realistic

What led her to seeking out drugs in the first place and how that spiralled into more heavy substance abuse

The toll it took on her family

How families can help support an addict & what her family learnt that ‘worked’

How addicts think and what happens inside their minds

Addiction is a lifelong condition, but sobriety is a responsibility

You can find more from Kate at her website 

You can listen to Kate’s podcast Why Do I Feel This Way 

Laura mentioned a famous study about addiction that you can watch in Johann Hari’s Ted talk here

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Hey Lifers!

We had the Australian podcast awards but the real take away in the media is how unhinged Laura is and that she (and I quote) "leaves fans questioning her lifestyle habits".

Britt is having a bit of a mid wedding planning crisis. Actually a big mid wedding crisis.
If you've planned a wedding, did you chop and change your mind on things like your dress in the lead up to your wedding? 
We discuss the paradox of choice and decision fatigue.

It's sledging season! A new term for how people are strung along over the Christmas/New Years period, delaying a break-up or continuing dating someone they know they're not interested in. 
We chat about when "is" the right time to end a relationship around this time and the reasons why so many couples break up around this time of the year.
New Year, New Relationship!

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. Today's ep is unlike anything we have had to record before and are heartbroken by the decision that has been made for the show. 

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

You can watch us onYoutube

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Hey Lifers!
Laura has had to go on a 'fishing' expedition in the grossest of places all thanks to Lola! Has your kid ever 'dropped' something valuable in a place that they shouldn't have?
Britt tried to replace the shrine but failed epically and has had to employ a man who woke up in our friend's bed to fix the problem! 

Vibes for the week:
Britt - Picking up a new hobby. Basketball
Laura - India Oxenberg's book 'Still Learning'
Keeshia - By Maay Brooklyn work bag

Then we get into your questions!

DO I START SLEEPING WITH STRANGERS OR JUST HAVE NO SEX LIFE THANKS TO MY PARTNER?
My partner and I have been together for 15 years. We have a 7 year old child who we love. But our sex life is 0. We talked a few months ago about opening our relationship. We both agreed and didn't have many rules. A few weeks later, I slept with an old friend. My partner was unhappy to say the least. Since then he convinced me to let him keep sleeping around but I can only see people I don't know. Now my question is... I'm not comfortable with people I don't know. Sex to me is intimate and needs friendship. Do I start sleeping with strangers or just have no sex for the rest of my life?

MY HUSBAND GAVE ME MONEY AS A BDAY PRESENT
My husband recently gave me $400 in cash for my birthday present.  For context, we have a joint account and each has a personal account and we get paid equal amounts in our personal accounts every week. We keep a money tin at home where we keep a bit of cash to the side to spend on joint expenses. The $400 birthday money came from our shared tin. At the time I was super grateful and thankful for the cash gift. He also took me out to dinner and paid for that with his personal money which was part of the gift. He said the money is to go towards getting a necklace made that I’ve been wanting for a long time. We aren’t huge on gift giving but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed that he didn’t put any time into thinking about a nice present for me that wasn’t just grabbing money out of the tin and putting it in a card. He did cook me breakfast and show me love in other ways on my birthday but I wish he put some thought into a gift for me. We do live very busy lives and are both self employed and work together so I don’t want to be too hard on him as life has been pretty hectic for both of us lately. How would you bring this up, if even at all? Or do I just move on and stop even thinking about it? Maybe I’m just being completely unreasonable.

DO I GIVE HIM ANOTHER GO AFTER HE DUMPED ME FOR ANOTHER GIRL?
My partner & I were together for 2 years, lived together, were speaking of marriage & kids within the coming year. 8 months ago, something happened randomly and my partner started pulling away. He was so checked out. He said he wanted to go to Bali with a mate and when he returned home he dumped me 2 days later. Little did I know he found a new girlfriend over in Bali, made it official & hard launched their relationship on Instagram 2 weeks later. I was beyond heart broken. I moved back in with my parents & it was the worst time of my life. Fast forward 8 months, he’s called things off with the new girl & has said he can’t move on from me. He said that he’s realised what he’s lost, he has massive issues & is willing to do anything to fix things including couples counselling and deleting his social media in order to gain my trust back… My whole family & friends hate him & I don’t know what to do. Is it worth giving him another go & trust he won’t break my heart again? Or am I risking ending up back at square one and too much damage has been done?

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Ever feel as though you’re not quite able to ‘do it all?’ During the past 2 decades, there has been a huge push into the world of ‘hustle culture.’ So many of us feel like we are constant hot messes, rushing around to try and get a million things in our day done. 

Joining the podcast today is Israa Nasir, New York based psychotherapist and author of the new book “Toxic Productivity.” 

Israa is here today to help us let go of the belief that our value is defined by how busy and successful we feel. Israa speaks about this as someone who currently has skin in the game, not from a place of hindsight. We are all having to manage this idea of toxic productivity now!

We chat:

You can find more from Israa, including her new book at her website 

You can follow Israa on Instagram 

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Hey Lifers,

It's officially Britt's bangiversary! She's tried to dupe Ben into a fancy gift but Ben's aware of her antics.
We speak about the advice we got from our grandmothers. Some of it hasn't aged particularly well. 

We might have found the world's most conflict avoidant man; the man who *likely has faked his own death to ditch his family and go to a woman in Europe. There was a video filmed back in June (two months before Ryan Borgwardt's disappearance). It shows a man on a bike asking if he should go to Uzbekistan to meet a woman, despite being married. After the video went viral, authorities say that the video isn't Ryan. 

Also, how do you like your labia? We've spoken about symmetry, length and comfort when it comes to labia but labia puffing seems new.
We ask:

Do you think this trend highlights empowerment or unnecessary pressure for perfection?

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

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Hey Lifers!
Britt has had an extremely embarrassing moment at the hairdresser. We would want the ground to swallow us whole.
Has your dog ever caused you to be in the most embarrassing moment of your life?

Laura is having a bit of trouble getting Lola to give up something that she loves. Lola is in negotiations and Laura is struggling to reach a mutually agreed upon solution!

Vibes for the week:

Britt: Martha on Netflix
Laura: Marigold’s Magic Stars book by Samantha Wills
Keeshia: RecipeTin Eats Tonight Cookbook

Then we get into your questions!

I CAN'T SLEEP WHEN WE ARE IN THE SAME BED
I’ve been with my partner for about four years, he’s 33 and I’m 27. Everything’s great BUT the one thing that I cannot do with him, is sleep in the same bed. This is largely due to his snoring and sleep noises combined with my light sleeping. He would love to share a bed but I seriously just don’t sleep when I’m in the same bed. We always have great sex, have a cuddle at night, but then I’ll go to my room to sleep and then will wake each other up in the morning with a cuddle. It’s been a great arrangement but I get so worked up and worried about ever going away together. I feel like when we do share a room I’m sleep deprived, miserable and resentful. We want to go overseas together soon but again I get worried about future endeavours together because I’m scared I’ll never be able to sleep in the same bed and have a good sleep. Is this a sign that it’s not going to work? Or do we just have to keep making arrangements for separate beds where we can, and I get used to no sleep when the occasions arise that we do need to share a bed? Also just for context, he has undergone nasal surgery to straighten his septum in order to try fix the snoring and I’ve invested in so many different types of ear plugs but nothing has worked. Help please 

BOYFRIEND SUPPORTS TRUMP
I love my boyfriend but I think he supports Trump. After Trump just got elected, he said “well what did he do that was actually so bad the first time?” He thinks the hate against him is a media conspiracy. Can I be in a relationship with someone who feels this way about misogynistic people?

HOLDING IN MY GAS AROUND HIM
I’ve been seeing this guy for about 3 months now, we’re exclusive and it’s going well. It’s the first time I’m getting serious with someone so the first time I’ve been hanging out with a guy quite a lot over night/all weekend. The issue is I am quite a gassy person… I don’t have any stomach issues. I just tend to need to do a few pop offs after big meals or in the morning, and I also poop quite often too. I have been WAY too nervous to poop around him as I get scared he’s going to go in after me and smell it. I also am holding in ALL my farts. This is causing me serious stomach aches and pain. I’m often recovering from holding them in for 1-2 days after seeing him. Side note- he farts in front of me but I’m way too embarrassed to do it back…

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Do you have a ‘type’? No, not a physical type. What do the people you’ve been in relationships all have in common? It’s time for us to fully unpack why we tend to go for the same types of people over and over again, and how to break the cycle. 

Sabrina Zohar is a relationship expert, entrepreneur and podcast host. Sabrina breaks down a lot of the ‘therapy terms’ and neuroscience to focus on doing the internal work and recognising patterns to chase the right kinds of connections and build healthy relationships. She’s known for her no bullshit relationship advice and telling you what you need to hear, rather than what you want to hear!

We chat:

Identifying the patterns and taking accountability for what we are doing to contribute to them

Bullshit blueprint - the core beliefs and things that were ingrained as you as a kid

Becoming better ‘buyers’ in the dating world

Can you trust ‘the spark?’

Looking at ‘what is’ rather than ‘what if’

You can find more from Sabrina’s website 

And Sabrina’s instagram 

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Hey lifers!
Laura and Matt both forgot their 2nd wedding anniversary. Do you celebrate each year?Are you the person who remembers 'dates'? We're talking anniversaries, birthdays, 'firsts' etc. How about your partner? What happens if one of you is a date celebrator and the other isn't?

Britt has picked her wedding dress and Laura wants to see it! Did you share your wedding dress with your friends before your actual wedding day?

The government has announced proposed legislation to be introduced to parliament that would ban kids under 16 from using social media, even if they have parental consent. 
Initially we thought this was great. But once we scratched the surface we realised that maybe it wasn't as good as it initially appeared.
We speak about the pros and cons of implementing age restrictions on social media, whether it's a bit of a performative action, how it would be implemented and if there are alternative ways to protect kids online. 

Britt got to enjoy Coldplay and Laura got to enjoy Chris Martin walk solo down Bondi beach looking very, very 'cool'!

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

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Hey lifers and welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions!

First question of the day is who is your 'hear me out' character (which fictional character are you attracted to)? Laura revealed her attraction to Barney the dinosaur by accident the other day and Britt is quite the fan of the ninja turtle Leonardo who would be in their 40s/50s now...

Keeshia has a question about tipping etiquette; how do you feel when the tip is automatically applied when it comes to pay and if you don't want to tip, you're expected to select to remove it?

Vibes for the week:
Laura: The Mailroom co
Britt: The Trial of Diddy
Keeshia: Christophe Robin Scalp Scrub

Then we answer your questions!

HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO USE OUR EMBRYOS
My ex husband left me & after 4 years of IVF. We have embryos in storage (we have one beautiful little IVF baby girl) who is my entire world. But I would love to make her a big sister one day too! He has so easily just said let’s donate the spare embryos. I am mortified by how easily he has suggested this and absolutely not interested in donating, I want them! They’re my babies. I walked through the toughest times of my life undergoing IVF and on my 8th transfer, I got my beautiful girl. I’m 33 and I don’t know if I should freeze my eggs and get a donor sperm .. or wait till I ‘might’ meet someone. PSA - I will continue to pay for storage for my embryo babies as I love them too! I also didn’t see our marriage being something that would end but he clearly fell out of love with me & left me 10 months postpartum.

CHRISTMAS WITH PARTNER’S FAMILY
I have been invited to spend Xmas with my partner's family interstate (we are mid 20s and dated for almost 6 years). My family has been disapproving/disappointed when I told them about not having Xmas at home and tried to guilt trip me out of accepting the invite. However, I really do want to go. How do I approach the topic again with them and is it wrong to spend one Xmas away from your family?

THE SEX ISN'T GOOD. HOW DO I NAVIGATE THIS?

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 6 months and everything is great. He is a wonderful guy and we share the same sense of humour. He could be my person, however there is one glaring problem. The sex is not good. He's a jack hammer kind of guy where he seems to only be interested in pleasing himself. I have done all of the things that you would normally recommend; we have had the conversations and I have tried to softly guide him to do the things in the way that I like it. The problem is that he does the things I like for about a week and then goes back to the jack hammering. How do I navigate this? How important is having great sex in a relationship? 

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Elizabeth Gilbert is one of the most brilliant authors of our time. She authored ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ which sold over 12 million copies and was then turned into a movie starring Julia Roberts. She’s also written books like ‘Committed’, ‘Big Magic’ and ‘City of Girls’. 

Elizabeth shares so many teachings around vulnerability, connectedness, living a life that is led by love,  and now  how to become ‘a relaxed woman, pushing back on the expectations of what society wants from you’. 

Today we spoke about:

Being an award winning writer who wrote about men and was sympathetic to the male experience, until she wrote the number 1 ‘chick-lit’ book of our time. Funnily enough, the award nominations dried up.

The shared experience of having everything that we are meant to ‘want’ and feeling so deeply unhappy. 

How Liz used to drain herself by giving her everything to relationships, and how free she now feels being emotionally autonomous 

The facts about how marriage affects women: married women don’t live as long as single women, they’re more likely to report being depressed and anxious, they are more likely to have autoimmune conditions, more likely to be addicted to substances etc. 

How all of our lives could be titled ‘not exactly what I had in mind’

The complexity of falling in love with someone knowing it will hurt other people that you care about

Learning about loss through grief

You can find Liz’s Aus and NZ tour dates 
You can follow Liz on Instagram 

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Hey guys!
Britt and Keeshia have spent the entire weekend together and they're the friends that ask you if you can come to Africa tomorrow.
Laura shared a story about some of the early days of Marlie's life that aren't quite her best moments! Laura would love to know how many times your kid accidentally rolled off the bed? 

We unpack the goss from the Wicked premiere! 
We were interested in how they would approach the PR of the film given the reputational damage that Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater suffered after having a rumoured 'affair.' 
We wondered whether they would take a 'Don't Worry Darling" approach (Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde) where they kept space from each other in public, or if they would lean in to their romance!
There was one line in the movie that we are shocked they kept in!

Plus, what would bring you to 'loyalty test' your partner?
We speak about the 'how' and the 'why' you may get to a place where you consider conducting a loyalty test. Is the entrapment just as bad as the potential cheating?

If you'd like to have your say on the content we make, you can fill in our survey!

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Hey Lifers!
Happy Halloween!! Some of our team are more into it than others and you can come to us for all your budget, last minute Halloween costume needs!
Are you a Halloween person? Laura's kids are super excited and have been counting down the days, while Britt has outed herself as a bit of a grinch.

Vibes for the week:

Keeshia - A Man Called Otto film (on apple TV) 

Laura - Jailbreak. Love on the Run on Netflix

Britt - Dessert Little Moons Mochi Balls

WE'D LOVE IF YOU COULD TAKE THE TIME TO HAVE YOUR SAY ON OUR LIFE UNCUT SURVEY

Then we get into your questions!

DO I TELL HIM ABOUT MY PAST AS A SEX WORKER?

When I was 18, I had huge body insecurity and felt like I was unlovable unless I got my boobs done. I also could not find a job, and thought the way to pay for my boobs was to get into escorting. I was very young and naive, and had only had one sexual experience before getting into it, so it was quite unsettling and traumatic. I did it for three months, but couldn’t continue because of my mental health. I ended up going back when I was age 19 and saw a client a handful of times, before deciding I could never go back. I then entered a fairly toxic relationship. When that ended I got therapy because I was in a bad place, and it changed my life. I have now got a great career and finished my degree, and have met my now partner of one year. I am now 24. My question is, should I tell him about my past? Do I need to? If so, how should I do it? Unfortunately I feel like there is still so much stigma around the sex industry. While he is incredible, I have heard him make a comment about a stripper he once slept with, saying she was “just a stripper” as if it meant she was less than. Aside from that, he is so caring, thoughtful and emotionally intelligent. He is very secure and perhaps would struggle to understand what I was going through at 18/19. I really want to be with him forever, and I don’t want anything to risk coming between us, but I feel like he might look at me differently if he knows. I have come so far since I was a scared, insecure 18/19 year old and I don’t want the decisions I made to prevent me from being happy now. Would love for your advice on how I could bring it with him and if it is even worth doing, as it is not like I think about my past everyday! It is only when something triggers it.

MY BOYFRIEND IS MOVING IN WITH A WOMAN

I have been long distance with my partner of 5 years for a little over a year now (he moved for work). He is the most amazing partner and definitely my penguin. In the last 6 months he has made a good female friend at work. I have met her quite a few times. She is lovely and we get along very well. Recently both my partner and his female friend have had a change in living situations and he asked me if I would be comfortable with them becoming roommates. He does everything to try and make me comfortable and he won’t move in with her if I don’t want him to. I trust him and her completely, yet it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe jealousy?? But I trust both of them. Is me feeling weird about it ok or am I being unreasonable and I should just let him move in with one of his only friends he has been able to make (it is so hard for adults to make friends in new cities). Would love to know your thoughts?

CAUGHT BROTHER CHEATING

A few months ago I stumbled across my bro’s profile on a dating app. Profile stated “not looking for anything serious”. We aren’t close - don't have mutual interests, hobbies or compatible personalities, but still see each other at family events etc. Issue is, he has been in a long distance relationship for well over a year. She had returned back overseas less than a week before I saw his profile - it was definitely him, photos were 100% his, the hobbies, interests, age etc were all accurate. My brother is not someone I would have ever considered to be a player or open relationship-er - very conservative. The girlfriend is nice enough - very young, very sweet, very smart. Not someone I could imagine being open. I thought they might’ve split but I hadn’t yet found out. I found out recently he’s going overseas to see her soon -so are definitely together. Idk what to do/think! Help!

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Haven Shepherd was born in Vietnam. When she was 16 months old, her biological parents, who had had an affair, detonated a bomb that was intended to be a family suicide. It instantly killed her biological parents but Haven survived. Haven was thrown 10 metres from the family hut and driven for 2 hours on a motorbike to the local hospital where they amputated both of her legs.

She hasn’t had surgery since!
4 months later, she was adopted into an American family and gained 6 siblings! Haven is now an elite paralympic athlete who competed at Tokyo 2020. She also happens to be a laugh and a half with some of the most outrageous ‘double decker’ date stories we’ve ever heard!
In the chat we speak about:

What Haven remembers about her early years

Whether she holds resent for her biological parents

How strangers ask inappropriate questions about how Haven lost her legs

How Haven’s parents initially weren’t going to be her parents and the serendipitous way they found each other

Why swimming was the best option for her

How parents should teach their kids about disability

You can find more from Haven's Instagram!

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Hey Lifers!
Britt has potentially found a new life... as a trad wife! 
Either that or she's going off grid more often.
Laura has had a bit of a mishap spreading her beautiful grandparent's ashes.

How do you feel about sharing your kids online? Where is the line when it comes to kids being paid to create online content? 
You might remember the horrible story of the mum, Ruby Franke, who was charged with 4 counts of child abuse earlier this year. There is a brand new film called 'Mormon Mom Gone Wrong' that came out on Oct 26 that details the story of the Franke family and their youtube account that had 2 million subscribers.
Shari Franke is now 21 years old and has shared her testimony in court about her experiences of abuse and family vlogging. She states that there is no such thing as a moral and ethical family vlogger.
We unpack these questions:

Should children have a say in family vlogging content?

What are the ethical implications of involving kids in content?

Can you get informed consent from kids?

How should kids be ‘compensated’ if they are making content that makes money?

Does it matter if they make money? Does it change when it becomes a significant income source?

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

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Hey Lifers

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions!

There is a lot of weird news in the world today... mostly the guy who chose to put 15 hard boiled eggs in his backside. Britt's partner Ben has had a hair makeover.
Did you 'plan' your hair look for your wedding in terms of colour/length etc? Did you opt for something that was your 'look' rather than going for a short term hair change?

Vibes for the week:

Keeshia: Sweet Bobby on Netflix
Britt: Instax camera
Laura: Fallen Angel Podcast

Then we jump into your questions!

DID WE DO THE RIGHT THING BY THE DRUNK HEN?
We just wrapped up a hen's night where the hen KO'd herself pretty early, before the festivities were finished - the MOH got her home safely (talking 7.30) and the rest of the party headed home. We'd already organised some entertainment, so instead of going out to where it'd been organised for, we made the call to stay in the hotel room and keep an eye on the hen, and enjoyed the entertainment (just the two of us). The groom found out and blew up - said we put the hen in danger, that it was unforgivable, and he doesn't want anything to do with either of us. Major drama! My question - Did we do the wrong thing? Is his blow up and subsequent major drama valid? Or were we fine to have a little fun while we still took care of our friend? It's created so much drama a week out from the wedding, is all the hatred warranted, or is he just being a complete dick?

I DON'T LIKE THEM CALLING HER GRANDMA
I have a new baby who is now 3 months old, and when I was pregnant my dad’s partner asked to be called Grandma which at the time I felt a bit put on the spot and was like ‘sure’. After thinking about it and chatting with my partner I am not sure how comfortable I am with her being “Grandma”. For context she has been with my dad since I was 18 which I think is relevant because I have never lived with her and she has had no hand in raising me and to be honest we have never had a great relationship. I feel like my mum and my partner's mum have done the hard yards to earn that title which she has not. I also don’t want to confuse my child for example if she is asking on Mother’s Day why “Grandma” doesn’t get a card or present and having to explain she is not actually her Grandma. So basically throughout the end of my pregnancy and having a new baby I never ended up having the convo and tbh I am a bit conflict avoidant. Over the weekend her and my dad met my partner’s parents who are visiting from Spain and she introduced herself as Grandma. So my question is… is it too late for me to have that conversation? I really don’t want her to be called Grandma or anything like that but have I let it go too long? Or how would you go about having the convo? Should I speak with my dad as he knows her better than me and would know the best way to address it? 

CAN I TELL HIM TO NOT GO?
My partner of 3 years has been invited on a family overseas holiday by his ex-wife and their 2 young kids. The ex-wife is paying for his expenses as one of the kids really wants Dad to be there. The ex wife’s new partner is also joining them. This has left me feeling really uncomfortable and ultimately left out. Is it fair to ask my partner to not go because of how I feel or should I tell him he should go despite it making me feel uncomfortable and anxious.

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Terri is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert. She is the author of ‘Boundary Boss’ and ‘Too Much’. This is the third time Terri has joined us on the podcast! The first time was to speak about cheating, the second was to speak about boundaries and today Terri is joining us to unpack codependence! But, not the standard idea of what codependency is.

Today we speak about what Terri refers to as ‘high functioning codependence’ and how we are able to recognise when we are doing ‘too much’ for other people, and need to prioritise ourselves more. Spoiler, none of us identified as being codependent… until we learnt what high functioning codependency looked like and the alarm bells RANG!

We speak about:

High functioning codependency isn’t what we typically think of a a ‘codependent person’

They’re highly capable, the person everyone depends on, the problem solver, the ‘fixer’

Resentment inventories! We all need to identify where we are ‘over giving’ and ‘over functioning’

Being hyper independent, “I got it” and not wanting to ask for help or owing other people anything 

How it all contributes to burnout and cognitive overload

Do you identify with any of these labels? They might be new to you!
-approval seeking,
-auto fixing/auto accommodator
-self sacrificing
-hyper helping

You can listen to Terri’s previous episodes with us here: People Pleasers Anonymous - Better Boundaries

and Once A Cheater, Are They Always A Cheater?

You can find everything from Terri:

Website 

Book website

Instagram

Podcast

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Hey Lifers!

Laura has had a weekend away with the friends that she hunted down on Linked in (it's hard to make friends as adults right??). Something that happened on the weekend raised the question for her of when to intervene to protect your kids from something vs when to let them work it out for themselves and build resilience. We're curious to know what you would have done in this situation.

Is a more inclusive rebrand enough to save Victoria's Secret? Last week we saw the first Victoria's Secret runway show since 2019. They've tried to be more inclusive with different body shapes and sizes. We speak about the past controversies that Victoria's Secret has been involved in and how the messaging of the company was so problematic.

Should companies with a history of exclusion or problematic practices be given the opportunity to evolve and change, or is it too late for brands like Victoria’s Secret?

Plus we speak about the friends of Dave Grohl's wife Jordyn Blum threatening to end their friendship if she goes back to him after he has fathered a kid outside of their marriage.

Have you ever had to cut off a friend because you were so sick of seeing them go back to a problematic partner?

Have you ever felt really exhausted from being the emotional support to a friend, kind of playing therapist, when they seemed to never take advice on board?

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

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Hey Lifers,

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions.
Laura has endured one of the most awkward experiences we could imagine. It involves a naked French man on a stage, a crowd and tears in the front row.

Vibes for the week:

Laura: Book the trip! Book any trip with your friends/family that you have been planning.
Britt: Podcast Kill List by Wondery
Keeshia: Cloud Nine Curl Wand

Then we jump into your questions!

MY PARTNER DOESN'T WANT TO WEAR CONDOMS BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE ON CONTRACEPTION
We unpack a situation from love is blind where the male partner expressed that he doesn't find 'condom sex' pleasurable. The female partner says that she does not want to go on a hormonal contraception. What do you do if you and your partner don't 'agree' to using condoms during sex?

HOW MANY DATES BEFORE I HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE?
I am recently single and back on the market after nearly 4 years. I’ve come out of my past relationship with a lot of confidence and have been using the dating apps a bit and even got myself some friends with benefits. I have found myself in a situation where I like two guys that I have met but I’ve only been on 3 or so dates with each of them over the period of a month. So my question is, how long/how many dates can you go on with people before you need to make a choice. And when do I need to stop my friends with benefits? I don’t want to end up in a situation where they find out about each other and I end up with neither. I don’t know if I am being selfish/giving player vibes. I just put all my eggs in one basket like I did with my ex and ended up in a relationship 1.5years longer than I should have. Please send help

DO I INVITE MY DAD'S GIRLFRIEND WHO HE CHEATED ON MY MUM WITH?
I am getting married in 3 weeks. My parents have been separated for nearly 25 years. My dad had been in a relationship since they separated, but my mum has always stayed single. The problem is, my dad’s latest girlfriend, who he has been with for at least 6 years, is one of my mum's old friends, and someone he cheated with while still with my mum. My partner and I have been engaged for nearly 2 years, and I told my mum when we got engaged that my dad's girlfriend would be getting invited to the wedding. I was hoping that with nearly 2 years notice she would be able to come to terms with it and be somewhat civil about it. My mum has recently opened up and told me that she blames this woman for, in my mum's words, "ruining her life". I am not close with my dad’s family, so his girlfriend will be the only person he really knows at the wedding. My mum thinks that me inviting my dad's girlfriend to the wedding is me picking their side and that she doesn't know if she will be able to not say anything or start any drama at the wedding when she sees her, as she has been holding onto this hate for so long. I don't want drama, and I hate conflict, but I feel like I'm in a lose lose situation. Do I:
A. Uninvite her and risk my dad also not coming to the wedding and a potential fight with him
B. Say something to my dad and his girlfriend about my mum's feelings, and ask them to keep their distance at the wedding which could also just result in more drama.
C. Try to stay out of it and cross my fingers that everyone just behaves
I feel sick about it all and it's taking over anything else I can think about leading up to my wedding.

HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE ON HER BIRTHDAY
My best friend's bf is getting ready to propose, in PARIS! They’re going on a trip to Europe for her birthday (I’m also going on this trip) and he just told me he wants to do it the night of her actual birthday. I personally wouldn’t want to be proposed to on my birthday. However, I don’t know if she would love it or not and I can’t exactly ask her any questions without giving it away! What are your thoughts!?

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Today’s episode is all about migraines, a debilitating condition that affects millions of people worldwide, including our very own Britt. Britt has struggled with migraines her entire life. We’re joined by Dr. Kaitlyn Parratt, a neurologist who specialises in headache disorders and epilepsy.  

We speak about:

Why women experience migraines more than men

Periods of our lives when you might experience them more

How hormones and other triggers affect migraines

The genetic component of migraines

The physical and psychological toll they take

Treatment options, first and second line therapies

The process of qualifying for migraine ‘botox’

Chicken or the egg? Anxiety, OCD, depression and migraines

Do orgasms help relieve migraine pain?

You can find information and neurologists at Sharp Neurology 

You can find Dr Kaitlyn on instagram and Sharp Neurology on instagram

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Hey Lifers,
Britt and Laura won a big, fancy radio award for best podcast hosts!! Laura is finishing off sailing the high seas on her first cruise so producer Keeshia is filling in for her today. 
Both her and Britt have unexpected and uncalled for hangovers from the awards night.
Britt's whole family think Keeshia is a huge creep!

Last week we spoke about Monica and Stephen on Love Is Blind and Stephen’s use of ‘therapy speak’ in the pods to make him seem more emotionally intelligent and in tune.
More episodes have been released and... it's not good for Monica and Stephen. But, something happened when they were 'breaking up' and it had us questioning whether you should or shouldn't ask an ex to pay you back for any money they may owe you.
Have you asked for someone to pay you after you've broken up? What was the amount?

Two shows are currently trending about the Menendez brothers on Netflix. One is a documentary that involved the brothers who are currently in prison serving consecutive life sentences for the murder of their parents. The other is a dramatised TV series based on 10 different perspectives and directed by Ryan Murphy.
Ryan Murphy is known for his controversial true crime dramas like Dahmer - Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story, the People vs. O.J. Simpson, and The Assassination of Gianni Versace.`

We discuss:

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

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Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep and burning questions!
Britt's sister Sheri has had her juice go missing from her fridge and the culprit is not a character that you'd suspect!!
Have you had a tradie do something that they weren't supposed to at your house?

Vibes for the week:
Laura:Laundry Apron with pouch
Britt: Netflix Nobody Wants This
Keeshia:Emily Henry Beach Read

Then we jump into your questions!

WHEN IS IT APPROPRIATE TO MEET UP WITH MALE COLLEAGUES?
I am a single, attractive (thanks genetics) female working in sports, which entails mostly male coworkers, travel and a lot of late nights. My question is, when is or isn’t it appropriate to meet up with male coworkers, particularly one-on-one, outside of work? I try to err on the side of daytime or group activities, however, I do feel like I have genuine friendships that sometimes are hurt because of my fear of an interaction appearing inappropriate to others because of the male/female thing, or for fear of a coworker I *thought* was harmless taking things in an inappropriate direction after a few drinks (it’s happened before). Am I over thinking this or are my guidelines for myself appropriately placed? Worth noting that 99% of these men are married.

DO I GIVE THE FAMILY SOME MONEY OR RESPECT MY GRANDMA'S WISHES?
My grandma passed away. She had been estranged from my parents and siblings and all other family members for over 15 years. During those 15 years I’ve had a close relationship with her. She made me her enduring power of attorney (her decision maker) and also the director of her will. My parents and siblings have had hate and bitterness towards her and completely wiped her, but I never experienced anything they did so my relationship with my grandma was never affected. My grandma has left me with everything including some money. Do I respect her wishes and not give any of the family money or belongings or do I divide it because they want it and said they deserve it?

CAN I GET A 4 YR OLD MAKEUP FOR CHRISTMAS?
I have a four year old daughter that is obsessed with makeup and clothes. We don’t mind the clothes, she loves dresses and tutus and wears one everyday, even to bed! But I’m a little worried that she loves makeup so much. She sees me put on makeup for work everyday and I explain that everyone is beautiful without make up, sometimes we wear it to look fancy. She now wants to look fancy for daycare everyday. All she wants from Santa is a big makeup kit. I suppose my questions are: Do you think it’s okay to get a four year old a big makeup kit for Xmas? And is her obsession with makeup at 4 years old worrying or okay considering she is very young and we are careful with our messaging around not needing makeup to look beautiful.

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There is a lot of discussion around women's empowerment in general, but women's leadership in particular is a topic that we are still defining and understanding. We’ve spoken before about gender pay gaps, glass ceilings, sticky floors, opportunity cost and the expectations on women to ‘do it all’ before. 

Megan Dalla-Camina is a three time best selling author and award winning women’s leadership and gender diversity expert. She is also the founder and CEO of the fastest growing women's ed-tech platform ‘Women rising’.

Today’s chat is about understanding the reasons behind why ⅘ women feel as though they are not thriving at work and the little voice in our head tells us we just aren’t doing a good enough job. Megan calls this the archetypes of the inner critic:

The perfectionist
The beauty queen
The sceptic
The imposter
The people pleaser
The outsider
The comparer
The good girl
The overachiever
The self doubter
The chameleon
The empath
The ideal mother

We also speak about:

What mini burnout looks like and how you feel when the mini burnouts happen one after the other

Motherhood paradox of the expectation to work like they don’t have children but raise kids as though they don’t have work responsibilities

People pleasing, trying to be an agreeable, easy to work with person and how that leads to you not getting what you deserve at work

How we can utilise this information to help us feel more comfortable in finding what is going to be ‘success’ to us and make us genuinely happy

Feminine vs masculine ‘traits’ in leadership

You can find more from Megan at her website and Instagram
You can get Megan's book Women Rising 

You can take the https://megandallacamina.com/innercriticquiz-questions/

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Hey Lifers!

Britt looks like Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson today, but the dress code for her wedding has caused an unintentional stir. The Europeans think she's a bit of a creep!
Last week Laura told us how much she loved the reptiles at the reptile park and in a relatively ironic turn of events, she might have 15 of her own coming to her new home!

A few days ago, Love Is Blind US (Netflix) released season 7 of the show. There was a particular moment where one of the contestants, Stephen admits to Monica that he has emotionally cheated in the past. He then went on to say “we went through therapy. We worked it out” and “I’m actively in therapy to talk about these things.”

We spoke about how speaking about therapy in the dating landscape can be great, but it can also be used as a tactic to manipulate their date into thinking they're more emotionally intelligent than they are! Many women now say they prefer to date men who’ve been to therapy. Do men now use therapy as a badge of emotional depth?

We also spoke about "therapy-speak" and the overuse of certain labels or phrases like triggering, trauma, narcissist, gaslighting and sociopath. Do you think the overuse of these terms dilutes the experiences of people who have endured genuine abuse or trauma? We also spoke about how we can spot when therapy-speak is being used manipulatively versus when it reflects genuine emotional growth. 

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

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Hey lifers,
Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions!
We're all a little scattered today driving past turn offs and forgetting entire road trips! 

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE AUS PODCAST AWARDS

Vibes: 
Britt - Will & Harper on Netflix
Laura - Zoe Foster Blake book "Things Will Calm Down Soon"
Keeshia - How to find the listed For Sale range or price on any listing on Domain or Real Estate Davey Hamilton

Then we jump into your questions!

SHOULD 'FAMILY PLANNING' BE ASKED BY MY BOSS?
I’m a medical doctor going through my final years of subspecialty training. I had a missed miscarriage in April this year and had to ask for time off work to go through the miscarriage and I developed complications afterwards resulting in a hospital admission. This time off “had to be approved” by my head of department I was told. A few months later I interviewed for a Fellow job (a promotion) and was told I’m “not ready”. Then in my supervisor meeting a month or two later, my supervisor (who is the HOD) flatly asked me how my “family planning” is going?!? I feel very uncomfortable about this situation and feel like I’m being held back because I’m a mother hoping to have another child. I guess my question is:
- Am I wrong to feel I’m being discriminated against?
- Is there anything I should/could do about this?
- Should I just suck it up and put up with it?
Keep in mind these people have total control over my career progression in training and in the hospital

WORKPLACE GIFTS
When I first joined my workplace, within a short time there was the 40th birthday of one of the 9 staff members in our office. Despite there being no party that colleagues were invited to, there was a collection of money for a gift for this person. At the time I was in my early 20’s. Fast forward and I’ve recently had my 30th and had celebrations without my work colleagues invited (intimate small gatherings out of town). Now I didn’t receive a gift from my colleagues. No biggie I thought, whatever. But now another colleague is having his 60th and we’ve been invited by the family to lunch and there’s an office money collection for a present. TBH I’m like WTF! I don’t know if this gift is meant to be in lieu of maybe some free food at the party, but I’m not impressed. I kinda want to make a point and not put money in, but being in a small office, I know I will be talked about and so I’ll just cave to social pressure and put cash in… But have I missed some social cues here? Would love to know the girls thought

HOW DO I GET THIS GUY OUT OF MY DMs AND INTO A REAL DATE?
I’ve been messaging this Aussie ‘influencer’ since January. He’s mentioned multiple times that he ‘can’t wait to see me,’ but still hasn’t asked me out despite living just 25 minutes away. I get that he has a busy, travel-heavy life, but it’s frustrating that when he’s back in town, he doesn’t make the effort. I’ve even called him out, saying it feels like he’s just keeping me around to stroke his ego. He insists that’s not the case but always has some excuse. Our mutual friends have hinted that he can be sketchy, so now I’m wondering—do I keep him around for banter or just a ghost

DO I INVITE MY EX BEST FRIEND TO MY WEDDING?
My ex best friend and I were best friends for 10 years, she saw me through the best and worst of times and a few of those years were long-distance (international). We had a falling out two years ago - it was pretty rough and we tried to work through it, but it just wasn’t working so we stopped speaking. We never spoke about it to resolve things but since then we’ve messaged each other for each other’s birthdays, and any other big events (she texted me congrats on the engagement) and it’s always been pleasant. Her family and I have remained super close which includes her parents and her sister (who is like a little sister to me). I definitely want to invite her family to my wedding, does that mean I have to invite her? If so, how do I approach the situation? The wedding will be only with my closest family and friends (100 people max). She was always my other half, and I never imagined having my wedding without her. But is it weird to invite someone who you’re not that close with any more just because they used to mean a lot to you? I think about her every day and I wish that we could reconcile our friendship, but I fear that the distance is too hard as that was our falling out

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Michelle Bridges is a fitness icon, TV personality, and bestselling author of 17 books! Recently, she developed a new program specifically for women navigating menopause, combining her personal experience with her expertise in fitness to help women stay strong and healthy during this life stage.

We previously released an episode on perimenopause and menopause with Dr Louise Newson that you can listen to here
Dr Newson gives us a really important medical insight into the changes that can happen during this time, and we wanted to extend this conversation and speak with Michelle about her lived experience and some of the lifestyle factors that can impact this time of women’s lives.

In this episode we speak about:

The lesser known symptoms that Michelle experienced during perimenopause

The steps Michelle took to work out what was going on in her body

The importance of finding a GP who specialises in women’s health

Being offered antidepressants when Michelle didn’t identify with being depressed

Feeling really empowered during this stage of life

How exercise, nutrition and supplementation can impact menopause

You can find more from Michelle’s Menopause Method 

You can follow Michelle on Instagram

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Hey Lifers!

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE AUS PODCAST AWARDS

Laura went to the reptile park and had a brilliant time. She's also planted a new fear in a friend's child by accident. Are there activities that you feel like you can't do unless you have kids with you? 

Do you think you can recycle and reuse nudes? Do they have an expiry? Does it matter if they're taken while during the current relationship? Britt and Ben are on different sides of the fence for this one!

We break down the new 'dating terminology' coming to 2025 that includes:

Are you meant to say anything to a woman who is pregnant? There is currently a huge amount of commentary about Margot Robbie's pregnant body. But, is this type of commentary only for celebrities and pap pics or do most women receive comments on their body when they're pregnant? 
We speak about how some comments are received in a different way to what they may be intended and how inappropriate some of the common types of comments are.

We also spoke about Kate Winslet being labelled as 'brave' for being okay with her 'belly rolls' being on display during a topless scene in a new film that she stars in. 

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

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Hey Lifers!

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE AUS PODCAST AWARDS

Have you ever developed an allergy later in life? Laura may have developed a new one and it's impacting every aspect of her life and every pore in her body!
Vibes for the week:
Britt - Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask
Keeshia - Huberman - Esther Perel: How to Find, Build & Maintain Healthy Romantic Relationships
Laura - Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter on Netflix

We mentioned our episode with Esther Perel

Then we jump into the questions:

IS IT BETTER TO TURN A BLIND EYE?
Recently I found texts on my boyfriend of 5 years phone that appear to be organising to have sex with a sex worker, as well as messaging other girls to meet him out while he was working in another country (I don’t know if this ever eventuated). We don’t see each other much as I work in Aus and he works overseas for a lot of the year. He has a much higher sex drive than me and long distance/not much sex doesn’t bother me but it really bothers him. I haven’t told my boyfriend I know this yet and I haven’t told any family or friends. I know as soon as I tell anyone they will hate him and tell me the things that I would tell anyone else - to break up with him. The problem is I’m 30 next year, I want to have a baby in the next two years andI  had my life pretty much sorted with him on paper. He has his faults but he is my best friend. The thing is, he makes an enormous amount of money and I don’t. In our future I know my children will be looked after and they won’t have to struggle. I know I won’t have to struggle. I come from a family who doesn’t have a lot of money and being with my boyfriend means I know I can take care of them better than if I’m single. Right now I don’t know whether to confront my boyfriend because I know as soon as I say this out loud I can’t take it back and it will mean that I have to break up with him as cheating is not something I want in a relationship. Is it morally wrong to just look the other way because of the benefits this relationship brings me, my family and my future family? 

I know this seems like an obvious answer but I know how hard life can be and being with him means my life will in some ways be easier with him in it. Or if this will always be in the back of my mind and ruin my happiness even with the security it brings. Help. Please. I feel like I’m old, have nothing to show for myself and I’m scared I’ll never be a mother if we break up now. 

HOW TO CHOOSE WEDDING LOCATION WHEN FAMILY ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF AUS
I have recently got engaged and we have already started talking about when and where as these are the biggest questions we have to answer. We would like to have it maybe this time next year to allow people interstate and international sort their lives out to come. Now the big question is, where? My family is all east of Australia and we live in WA. My fiancé’s immediate family is here in WA as well. Our friends are in WA. I have family that are elderly and wouldn’t be able to travel. We have brought up the subject with my fiancés parents and my MIL didn’t have a very good reaction which I knew would happen. How do I say that I don’t know how long my elderly family members will be with us and I want them at my wedding as they mean so much to me. How do I approach this topic and not seem like I’m being a bridezilla making us have our wedding east? Or do we elope and have two parties one east and one west?

DO I TELL HER THAT HER HUSBAND IS CHEATING?
I'm in a tough situation and need some advice. I overheard my partner talking about a night out where one of his coworkers cheated on his partner, who is home with their 6-month-old baby. I feel awful for the woman and want to tell her, but I don't know her or her partner, and my partner would be furious if he knew I was eavesdropping. On top of that, if I say something, it could put my partner in a difficult position since the cheater is connected to management. I can't shake the feeling that I need to do something, but I’m worried about the consequences for everyone involved. What should I do?
We got some additional info - the partner works FIFO and was disturbed when he heard the coworker say that he had been cheating.

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Dr. Louise Newson is a leading expert in the field of menopause and perimenopause. She's a GP, menopause specialist, educator, podcaster and author. She’s the woman in the know of menopause and today we would like to break down the misunderstandings, myths, misconceptions and medical misogyny surrounding menopause.

In this chat we speak about:

You can find the episode on PMDD that we mentioned here - PMDD

You can find everything from Dr Louise Newson including her resources, podcast and book here! Dr Louise Newson's Website

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Hey Lifers,

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE AUS PODCAST AWARDS

Britt's jet lagged after her trip to Romania. It was somewhat eventful and she's now an experienced quake girly. Laura's daughter Marlie is about to graduate from preschool and we're curious to know what your graduation song was. Was it Green Day or... eye of the tiger?
Now that Laura has had a week off and Marlie Mae is about to go to school, she's back considering having another child. Britt is strongly considering blackmail!If you already have kids and you’ve thought about having another, did you mention it to your kids? Did you want their thoughts on whether they’d like an extra sibling?

A dating app has brought in a new feature to try and reduce dating fatigue and avoid analysis paralysis. Hinge will now stop you from matching with someone new if you have 8 or more messages waiting for a response from you. 
The idea is to make it a more conscious effort and only have a few conversations going at a time. If you're in the dating world, is this good news for you?
Do you think it will cut down on people 'window shopping' or just swiping for validation?

We spoke about the episode we did with Therapy Jeff - Why Is Dating So Hard These Days?

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Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. This episode was recorded a week in advance as Britt is visiting Ben in Romania. Britt opens up about some of the challenges of long distance and what she’s really struggling with at the moment.

Britt has also called one of our listeners a loser. We deeply apologise YourGirlSidney

Do you think it’s okay to be in a relationship if you know that the person isn’t ‘the one’ (or end game) for you? How long is it okay to be ‘working’ this out? Does it depend on the age of the people in the relationship?

Vibes for the week:

Britt: Your Girl Sidney 

Keeshia: Medusa Wispy Light Human Hair Fringe - Air Bangs- Clip In

Laura App Eat Club

Then we get into your questions!

HE WON’T GO DOWN ON ME & DOESN’T MAKE AN EFFORT TO PLEASURE ME
I'm 21 and my male partner is 23. We have been together for 3 years. Since we have been together he has only gone down on me maybe 3 times in total for about 20 seconds. I have brought this up with him and asked why he doesn't do it and he replies with "I don't like it sorry" which is totally fine but when we do have sex I never get anything out of it as he never really tries to pleasure me. We have tried sex toys but I think he gets awkward about it and then it never happens again. I talk to my friends about it but all they say is tell me that my relationship is not right and tell me about how good they have it. Sometimes I wonder what I am missing out on. Every other part of our relationship is amazing because he is an amazing human who I love so much. Am I missing out ? And if so what the hell do I do?

HE LIED ABOUT HAVING AN STI
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 7-8months. He asked me to help him with a work medical claim, he sent over a pack of documents for me to read to help him write a letter. Reading the documents it said he had herpes. When we first started dating I made sure we both had sexual health checks - he was pushing to have sex without a condom, something I’ve never done and didn’t feel comfortable doing without the STI checks prior. The tests came back with no issues flagged so we started having unprotected sex. 7 months later I read this document - he said initially that “he forgot,” then ended up telling me he lied to me because he thought I would break up with him if I knew. Additional context: his previous girlfriend gave him herpes and also didn’t tell him until 2 months into dating. I don’t know what to do - I thought this guy was my penguin, help!

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH A COLLEAGUE
Should I enter a short term friends with benefits situation with a colleague that’s leaving at the end of the year even though I’m inexperienced and not sure how I’ll emotionally handle it? I think it could be a great idea for my overall satisfaction and self confidence, but I don't want to get rejected, or catch feelings and then get really sad when I’m rejected and/or he moves away. Is it worth the risk for good sex?

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Before being known as Danielle Laidley, she was a hugely successful AFL player and played 151 games for West Coast Eagles and North Melbourne football clubs, and winning premierships  and going onto be the youngest senior coach ever at 36, coaching North Melbourne for 149 games across seven seasons from 2003 to 2009.

For decades, Danielle kept her gender to herself and threw herself into sporting success and became a workaholic. Eventually the pain of keeping this secret led to some dark coping mechanisms like substance abuse. 

In May, 2020, a police officer took a photo of Danielle in an interview room at a St Kilda police station while wearing a wig and make-up. This photo was shared in a group chat before it was leaked to the media & the public. 

Now, following her diagnosis with gender dysphoria, Danielle works extensively as an advocate for transgender people, raising awareness in a quest for acceptance of diversity.

In this chat we speak about:

You can find Danielle's Instagram and book - Don't look away

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Hey lifers,
Keeshia is in the hot seat filling in Britt while she's in Romania.
Have you ever accidentally done something illegal? Laura's renovation project has made Keeshia realise that she's been accidentally shoplifting for over a decade.

Do you ever lie or withhold information from your partner? Do you hide packages or lie about new items that you've bought and say that you've had them forever? There's a tiktok from Thewestcoastmama that has us questioning what's normal and who is in the wrong.

Today we take a deep dive on what friendship means to us and whether we're too quick to deprioritise friendship when other responsibilities rear their heads. 
We spoke about Simon Sinek and his conversation on the Prof G Podcast and his Youtube with Trevor Noah

What are you currently looking for in friendship?
Has that shifted over the years as your life has gone through different chapters?
Is there too much pressure to maintain friendships when there are all of these other things that we are trying to do well?

92% of you have experienced a friendship breakup.

Most of you think about the breakdown of a friendship more than the breakdown of a romantic relationship.

We speak about our own experiences of friendship breakdowns and whether we would ever be able to reestablish those friendships.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

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Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. Laura and Matt are having some *creative differences* in their house reno visions. Laura wants to live under the rainbow and is anti beige brigade. Matt wants a bright blue laundry. When it comes to the aesthetic of your house and you having opposing opinions to your partner, who gets final say?

Vibes for this week:
Keeshia: Perfect Wife on Disney Plus
Laura: Figma Colour Wheel
Britt: Tanologist Self Tan Drops

Then we get into your questions!
DO WE STILL HAVE TO GET THEM A WEDDING GIFT
One of my closest friends is getting married in Canada, I am one of her bridesmaids and I am so stoked for it. Obviously to go to the wedding my partner and I have booked flights over to Canada (not cheap) and also booked the hotel that was chosen for the wedding party (also not cheap). I don’t mind about these costs because it's my close friend and it's a holiday to Canada! My partner and I have debated whether we should get them a wedding gift? I don’t mind getting one and like giving gifts, but my partner thinks we have already spent a lot of money going to the wedding. I’m curious to know what you guys think? Should you get someone a wedding gift if you have already invested $4,000 to get to the wedding and stay there.

DO I DOUBLE MESSAGE HIM?
My now ex boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago after I found out he was cheating on me. It was awful as we lived together and I went to uni not only with him but also with the other women. We were together for 3 years. Another guy I also go to uni with and used to date 5 years ago (my ex was aware and they were still really good friends) also broke up with his girlfriend he dated for a similar amount of time. We have always been friends ever since the breakup and I was also friends with his ex girlfriend. Fast forward to now, I am now a lawyer and finished with uni and don’t have to see my ex except at social occasions. I have caught up with this other guy a couple of times and we have had a vibe for about a month now. On Saturday he invited me to his house with a bunch of other lawyers from uni including my ex. After a lot of alcohol my ex and the other people left and this other guy asked me to stay and chat which I did. One thing led to another and we had sex and it was really good. He also said he really enjoyed it. I stayed the night where we hugged. He made me coffee and breakfast in the morning and took me home. A few hours after he dropped me off I messaged him and said thank you for dropping me off and I had fun last night. He read the message and still hasn’t replied, in the whole 5 years I have known him he has never left me on read. I don’t want to come across as desperate but do I double message him? I still have his clothes and don’t know what to do. It’s also not like we will never see each other again, we have lots of mutual friends and are both invited to another party this weekend. Please help!

PUBIC HAIR
I’ve always been curious how females maintain pubic hair?? My husband says he doesn’t care whether it’s bare or hairy .. but I still can’t figure out what I prefer either … like what’s the norm these days? Completely bare or hairy and how do you maintain and how often?

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Jeff Guenther AKA TherapyJeff is here to help you take control of your dating life, by tuning into who you are, what you want, and how you can get there. Therapy Jeff has over 3.8 million followers on socials. He is a licensed therapist with twenty years’ experience in private practice. Today we are going to unpack a bit of the psychology behind why we are the way that we are in relationships and how that impacts different aspects of our dating lives!

Today we chat about:

Find more from Jeff’s website
Find Therapy Jeff on Instagram and tiktok

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Hey Lifers,
Sorry for the start of today's ep. Not sure what else to say about it to be honest. If you've had the 'back' lasered, how do you get it done? What's your therapists 'go to' position?

Britt is headed to Romania to see Ben! She shares how some of the challenges of being in a long distance relationship have affected her and why she's looking forward to seeing him so much!

Unions are pushing to keep bosses from 'trawling' social media and reprimanding employees because of what they're getting up to on the gram. It could be a faked sickie, or a perspective that doesn't align with the values of the business. 
Do you think employers should be able to reprimand their employees for things that they post on social media?

We also speak about the brave woman Gisele Pelicot, who has chosen to waive her right to anonymity after her husband drugged her and allowed her to be sexually abused by 70+ men. 
We speak about the shift in the way that society views victimhood and the strength that it takes for victims to publicly share their stories to advocate for justice. We also look at the role the media and legal systems play in shaping the choices of survivors.

If this conversation brings up anything for you, a confidential information, counselling and support service is available at 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

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Hey Lifers,

This is ask uncut where we answer all of your deep and burning questions after we've had a bit of a gasbag about our own personal dilemmas!

Have you noticed that children's dolls are now wearing g-strings? How do you feel about that? 
Vibes for the week:

Britt Netflix doco The Lie: The Murder of Grace Millane
Laura Glass Podcast by Shameless Media
Keeshia Love and Loss Piece by Zara Seidler

Then we jump into your questions!

PARTNER WATCHES PORN BEFORE WE HAVE SEX
My fiancé and I have had issues in the bedroom for years. He’s struggling with anxiety and takes a medication  which has massively affected his sex drive. Over the past few months he’s been asking me if I want to have sex, but it's always been after he’s been on his phone in bed, and already has a raging boner - so I assumed he’s watching porn. I looked at his google browser history on the computer we share (the same google browser on his phone), and it turns out he’s been watching porn right before asking me for sex, as I assumed. I know I shouldn’t have looked at his history but I was going crazy. I’m in two minds. One is complete jealousy as I feel like he needs another girl to turn him on before he can sleep with me. But I also know that he’s probably just doing what he needs to to get it up and get the job done as I’ve been putting the pressure on lately. For context: we have a great relationship, we’re getting married in a month, I know he finds me attractive - he’s constantly tapping me on butt, grabbing my boobs etc, but I’m just struggling to be okay with this. I also don’t want to tell him that I’ve looked at his browser history so I don’t know how to talk to him about it.

FAMILY NOT COMING TO KIDS BIRTHDAY
I come from quite a messy family. I have 6 siblings, all half. My dad is on to his 4th marriage and my mum has had 2 divorces. I’ve always been close with my mum but have only become close with my dad in the past 5 or so years. My parent’s break up was very messy and they’ve never been amicable since. I now have a beautiful partner and a darling little daughter who is just about to turn one. We’re throwing her a party and have invited all our friends and family. However, a few weeks out, my Dad has just said that no one from his side of my family (himself, my step mum, brother and his family) will be coming because they feel uncomfortable and they would like to have a seperate party for my daughter instead. I’m so disappointed! It’s been over 20 years since they divorced, he’s had 2 marriages since! How are they still hung up on this to the point that they can’t be in the same room for an hour? I never wanted my daughter to have to celebrate everything twice like I have. What would you do? Do I suck it up and throw two parties? Or just say to my dad that he’ll unfortunately have to miss out?

DITCHING A WAKE
Should you ditch a wake (after a funeral), to go to a footy match? Our team has made it into the finals, but the day of the game is the funeral of a grandparent. My sibling thinks it’s ok to go to the service and skip out after to make the game, but I think that is in very poor taste. What are your thoughts?

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Eleanor Mills is an award winning journalist, editor and broadcaster who has taken a bit of a pivot in her mid life by creating a community called ‘noon’. At 49, Eleanor was abruptly made redundant from her role as the editor of the Sunday Times Magazine and chair of women in journalism. 

She lost her sense of purpose, and her identity - and her family lost its main source of income. She felt washed up and burnt out; like everything which had defined her life for the last 25 years was gone. But then she noticed something: she wasn’t alone.

Today we are going to unpack what Eleanor calls the midlife cluster fuck, our perceived value as we age and a lot of the motivators and values that we hold as career driven women. 

We spoke about:

Eleanor’s new book titled ‘Much More to Come’can be found here
Eleanor’s Instagram
Eleanor's organisation Noon can be found here!

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Britt's had a baby!!! Well, technically her sister Sheri just gave birth, but we are claiming it as our surrogate Life Uncut baby. She was 5 weeks early and we have a bit of a chat about whether the person closest to Britt having a baby has shifted the needle on whether Britt wants to have kids of her own! Did your sibling or best friend having a baby change your drive to have one of your own? 

Matt went and got a tattoo while Laura was away and it's... not good! How did you and your siblings know who the 'favourite' kid was? Was it because they were the 'password' kid? Was it because only one of you is tattooed on a parent's body?

Armie Hammer has entered stage 3 of his 'redemption' arc. He's shared a video on instagram about how he is selling his beloved truck because he can't afford to put gas in it anymore. We unpack false victimhood and all different kinds of celebrities performing authenticity online. How do we know the difference between real suffering and performative authenticity and can Armie Hammer be uncancelled? We unpack our thoughts. 

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers! 
Welcome back to therapy Thursday where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions!
Is there anything more awkward than the entire restaurant/bar singing happy birthday to you? What the heck do you do? Smile and sing along??

Would you like to know that you were getting proposed to or prefer it to be a surprise? Britt and Keeshia met a couple where she definitely knew it was happening!

Vibes for the week:
Britt: Netflix American Murder: Laci Peterson
Keeshia: House of Sculpt Pilates
Laura: Couples Therapy on SBS on Demand/Paramount plus

Then we jump into your questions!

DO I TELL MY MUM I GOT SENT HER NUDES?
Just over 2 years ago, I was getting ready for bed one night when I got a notification on messenger for a message request from someone I didn’t recognise. It said “I just thought you would like to know what your mother had been up to lately” followed by nude images of my mum and screenshots of texts exchanged between her and this person's husband. I was shocked and hoped that she hadn’t sent these to any of my other siblings. I ignored the message as much as I could until my youngest brother called me in hysterics telling me that he had just received the same message. I ended up reading the whole text exchange. There was a week where she visited him in his home town on her week off work. I looked at the dates and it all hit me again. She was meant to come visit me and my newborn interstate that week but said she had covid and had to stay where she was (his hometown). As terrible as I feel for my mum's partner, this is what shook me the most. She used me and my child as a reason to go where she was going just to “inconveniently” get covid and not be able to travel any further. She used us to cheat and it makes me sick. Ever since I found this out I haven’t been the same around her. I haven’t told her I know and I haven’t told her partner either. It’s an unspoken thing between my brother and I but we both feel the same towards her. I am also so mad at this woman for sending these explicit things to us as if we had anything to do with it. Why punish us and make us bear the weight of it all? Anyway, my questions are…My mum and her partner are still together with no bumps in sight. Do I tell my mum I know? Do I need to tell her partner? Or with it being over 2 years since do I just need a top notch therapist to deal with this myself?

CAN WE HAVE SEX WHEN OUR CHILD IS ONLY METRES AWAY?
My partner and I recently took our 2 year old daughter on her first family holiday. We all stayed in the same room with 2 queen beds. She slept in her own bed and I slept with my partner. My partner wanted to have sex on the holiday and would always make jokes like "what are you doing later" which were good for him shooting your shot. BUT my mindset was how can oh have sex when your child is sleeping legit no more than 1 metre away from you isn't that strange ? I guess my question is, are people having sex on holidays in the same room as their kids?? Is this a thing because it makes me cringe but he thinks it's so fine because she's asleep?

DO I REFUND HER
I sold a labour tens machine on facebook marketplace a few months ago for $60. I had originally purchased it as an ex hire machine but did not use it for my labour as it was too fast. I had tested it and it seemed to work fine to the best of my knowledge. Up until I sold it, it had sat in the pack it came in without the battery in it, untouched. Before I sold it to the lady I checked it again and it all seemed to work fine still. She had told me she wanted a receipt for the item as she had some trouble buying off marketplace before. I empathised with her but told her I can’t provide a receipt for it. Now a few months have passed and she has contacted me saying that it was rubbish, didn’t work as it should and is not in good working order. She also said that it impacted her birth and her experience was horrendous. I have sincerely apologised and explained my situation but I know she’s fishing for a refund. Do I refund her the money or just ignore her messages and move on?

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Gus Worland is a TV, podcast and radio host, and the director and founder of the mental health foundation Gotcha4life. Gus is a passionate advocate for building mental fitness. Gus is particularly good at helping women connect with the men in their lives in ways that enable vulnerable and real conversations about their mental health.

We chat:

Gus also speaks about some really practical ways that we can connect with blokes, not try to ‘fix’ everything and create relationships where they feel comfortable speaking up.
You can find more from Gus on Instagram

Gotcha 4 Life Instagram

Gotcha 4 Life Website

If this conversation brought up things for you, please reach out for 24/7 support at Lifeline or call 13 11 14

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Hey Lifers,

We are back from a little few day vacay! Laura's friend catch up FINALLY made it's way out of the group chat and into reality! She had a little mishap at the airport and there's a valet parker who hopes she never comes back.
Britt and Producer Keeshia went to Bali to sus out Britt's wedding venues and food tastings. They ended up getting sick and missing some of the important parts. 
Chaos and motion sickness; very on brand for life uncut!

The world is in mourning as JLo and Ben Affleck file for divorce! Lots of the world are talking about whether you think it's ever a good idea to go back to your ex. But, we're more interested in whether you think divorce can make you a better parent.
There was a really interesting article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton in the Cut that explored the idea that the end of a marriage, while challenging, can lead to personal growth and improved parenting skills. 
We discuss:

We mentioned a podcast that we recorded with Esther Perel

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers,
Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions!
It's Britt and Producer Keeshia's birthday and they're off on a romantic, couples holiday as a taste tester (quite literally) of Britt's wedding.
Have you ever taken a vibrator to Bali? We might get stopped at customs for reasons we weren't expecting!

If you have had a wedding, did you have a 'first look' and do photos before your ceremony or did you wait to have photos taken after the ceremony?
Laura had an 'interesting' back drop in some of her wedding photos that caused a smell that didn't fit with the feelings of the moment.

Vibes for the week:

Laura: MCoBeauty Miracle Flawless Skin Foundation

Keeshia: Podcast The rest is politics US

Britt: Ilona Maher Instagram Account

Then we jump into the questions:

WHEN TO PUT BEST MOVES ON IN THE BEDROOM
When is the right time to pull out your best moves in the bedroom? My best friend has started to see new people after coming out of a four year relationship. As her longest single friend she asked me when is it too soon to use your best moves on a new sexual partner? Which got me thinking, Do you leave it all on the floor on your first time because you want to impress them? Or do you keep some of those party tricks in the locker for future? I personally have had experiences in the past where I have been complimented on certain acts in the bedroom in almost a “you must do that alot” kind of way as if I’m being judged for having too much experience (charming I know). So I need to know your thoughts. Do you hold back with a new partner in fear of being judged for being too experienced or do you go hell for leather and pull out all the moves on the first go? 

In this question we mentioned the great episode we recorded with Tara O Sex Isn't a Stage Show, So Drop the Act

SHOULD I SUCK IT UP FOR MY HUSBAND'S SAKE OR IS THIS DISLOYAL?
My husband's best friend (best man at our wedding) and his long term wife got a divorce due to him cheating. The wife was clearly devastated, they had started trying for a baby and it came as a shock to everyone. The husband less than 2 months on finds a new girlfriend and gets her pregnant, they have only a few weeks ago had the baby. I cannot bring myself to congratulate him. I am still close friends with my ex wife. And he is essentially living the life that they had planned together which is devastating to her. My husband is still close friends with him despite his actions, but I feel he's not the person we thought he was. Am I rude and selfish for not congratulating him on the baby's arrival and I should just suck it up for my husband's sake?

FRIEND ONLY CONTACTS ME WHEN SHE WANTS ME TO BUY FROM HER BUSINESS
I've had a friend for 10 years, we used to work together and have kept in touch ever since and see each other a few times a year. Recently, she’s started a business, and now all messages end in "do you want these products?" or ways of trying to sell. I am considering ending this friendship because of this. She usually takes weeks to reply to messages, but when she is trying to sell something to me, she replies straight away. When I said “no” she goes back to taking weeks to reply. I see that she is active on instagram stories 10x per day, trying to market and sell this product. I just feel a bit used. What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated.

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Back for the second time is the hilarious Ellie Cole. Ellie is the most decorated Australian female paralympian of all time & a childhood cancer survivor. Ellie has joined the podcast before in Feb 2023  “I threw my leg at him and it hit him like a shish kebab”. 

Ellie has just touched down back in Australia after doing poolside commentary in Paris at the 2024 Olympics. We have a whole bunch of Olympic questions for her like:

-The funniest/most meme-able moments from Paris 2024

-What is the Olympic Village like?

-Can and do the athletes all hook up with each other?

-What are the Olympic beds like?

-Should the Paralympics and Olympics be at the same time?

-Pay parity, the ‘equal Olympics’ and misogyny in commentary 

We also speak about Ellie becoming a mum, their IVF journey and her fears about her son being bullied when he gets to school for having two mums.

You can find more from Ellie here!

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Hey Lifers,

Things are slightly more unhinged than normal due to some sleepy, post Logies Britt and Laura! Laura thinks Britt looks like checks notes Charlie Sheen...
We take a bit of a peak behind the curtain of what actually happens at the Logies.
We spoke about the highlights and lowlights, who left early, how the red carpet and outfits all work and also we are now Felix Cameron and Larry Emdur stans.

Britt speaks about her mum overstepping on what was intended to be a generous offer and Laura finally shares the real story behind her wedding planner who was a bit of a scammer.

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Hey Lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep and burning questions!

Britt has some terrible dating advice that includes faking a celebrity interaction.
The tide seems to be turning on Raygun. There is more speculation around the ethics of her journey to the Olympics since we recorded on Monday morning.
Laura helps Britt learn about her (Ben's) new home in Romania. 

Vibes for the week:

Laura: Two Doting Dads Book: The Quest For Free Time

Keeshia: It Ends With Us Film

Britt: Diary of a CEO podcast with Francis Ngannou

Then we jump into your questions!

AM I UNFULFILLED OR IS THIS NORMAL?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I have kids, he doesn’t. I have always felt like he is my best mate, not necessarily my penguin but at the same time it’s been 5 years we’ve put in the work and my kids now adore him. His best friend moved in with us a year ago. I obviously noticed this man was attractive and I’ve known him for a long time but I was happy and content with my partner and I thought hey it’s normal to just appreciate someone’s good looks. 

Until… he messaged me one night. I was at work and he had been drinking. It said  “Hey please don’t repeat what I’m about to tell you.” He goes on to tell me that he finds me irresistible and the reason he chose to take a FIFO (3 on, 1 off) job was because he struggles to be alone with me. He said he thinks about me non stop. 

I would be lying if I didn’t say I felt the lust. I went home, slept it off and felt so guilty that I showed my boyfriend the messages. He kind of just said ‘Oh wow he is thinking with the wrong body part’ and has since pretended like it never happened. Now I’m in a tailspin. I dream about this man. He creeps into my mind constantly. He comes home in a week and I’ve tried gently suggesting to my boyfriend that we ask him to move out. Obviously I haven’t told him that I am attracted to his best friend but I just said that it’s a little awkward. My partner just replied that the extra income is helpful and he probably won’t try anything. But what he doesn’t know is that his friend has messaged me since telling me he is sorry, however I am just so beautiful and kind, how I’m the sweetest and he can’t help but think about me. I truly think that I’m just feeling this way because after 5 years and being a full time working mum, I feel invisible to my family so having a man call me irresistible is a thrill. I do not want to go against my morals and destroy someone’s trust over a fling but I also don’t want to tell my partner how I feel. Should I be looking at this as a sign I’m unfulfilled in my relationship and maybe it’s time to move on (not with his friend) or is this just a normal reaction to having an attractive man show me attention and once he has moved out I can just move past this without hurting my boyfriend?

DON'T WANT TO WEAR THE BRIDAL OUTFIT
How do I tell the bride and groom of a wedding I’m attending later this year that the bridal party outfit they have chosen for me is awful and I don’t want to wear it? Keep in mind they also asked me to pay for it (so now I am out of pocket too). I live in a different state to them, so had to order online without trying the outfit before buying. It is unflattering, does not suit my shape, and I feel so uncomfortable in it. I do not want to wear this in public, let alone in front of a crowd at a wedding. I had suggested early on that if I’m paying for it, could I buy a nice dress in their colours that I’d be likely to wear again. They insisted however they wanted everyone to be ‘uniform’. Do I just have to suck it up, as the day is not about me? (Also, this is a destination wedding so I am already spending thousands on travel and accommodation to attend)

I DON'T LIKE HIM DRINKING ALONE
My husband and I had a disagreement and both genuinely could not work out who was in the wrong, so reverting to the brains trust! My husband works shift work, so often has midweek days off or finishes really early on weekdays that I'm working. Sometimes (say once a week) he likes to go to the local pub by himself and have a few beers until I finish work. He usually comes home tipsy on these occasions. I feel uncomfortable about him drinking by himself and coming home tipsy after doing so. I don't have any issue with him drinking with friends or if we have a few drinks together - it's just the by himself aspect (which I think stems from growing up with parents who had issues with alcohol). He gets upset by this and feels like I'm trying to control how he spends his free time. He doesn't think it's unreasonable to do this once a week. I don't have an issue with him doing any activity by himself that doesn't involve alcohol, so don't feel that I'm being controlling. Who is in the wrong?! Am I being unreasonable? We both have had multiple convos about this and both are not sure if each of us are in the wrong. For context, we are in our early 30's and have no kids, just living at home the 2 of us (and otherwise have an amazing relationship)!

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Brittany Butler spent nine years as a targeting officer within the CIA's Directorate of Operations, Counterterrorism Center. Brittany has worked both at Langley and in the Middle East and has first-hand knowledge of how the CIA recruits spies and how intelligence organisations discover and apprehend terrorists.

In today’s episode we speak about:

See more from Brittany:

Brittany's Website

Brittany's Tiktok

Brittany's Instagram

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Hey lifers,

Laura is an elite athlete now. She's possibly getting a ticket for indecent exposure but we're focussing on the success of doing 14km with a donkey pram!
Britt has done one of the more Britt coded things possible and embarrassed herself again.
If you could theoretically find out who the love of your life was going to be and specifically when you would meet them at the age of say 18, would you? Would you like to know?
If you had a crystal ball and could see whether you and your current partner were going to be together in 10 years, would you like to know that?

Ben has moved to Romania and Britt knows a bit too much about Dracula...
Laura has an update on how her conversations with her girls went about their grandfather passing away.
The entire world cannot stop talking about Raygun. We unpack where the line between trolling and criticism is, whether the commentary is gendered and whether it's 'good enough' that she 'did her best'.
We also take a bit of a dive into her own research in the field and how it seems to contrast her performance at the Olympics.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions!
How do you feel about group saunas? Are they good for a bit of a group therapy session or human stew? 

Vibes for the week can be found here!
Britt: Tom organic period cup
Keeshia: The Shocking Effects of 500 Days Without Alcohol - Mark Manson
Laura: Koala Suffolk Chair

Then we get into your questions!

DO I CATCH UP WITH HER OR LEAVE IT
I had this girlfriend I’d only known for a short time through work. Early in our friendship, just a couple of months in, she asked me for advice on proposing to her boyfriend. I encouraged her to go for it and a few weeks later I found myself hiding behind a beach umbrella, camera in hand, capturing her proposal. Not long after, she asked me to be her bridesmaid. I was flattered and accepted, although I was a bit surprised given how new our friendship was. Then, the wedding was postponed for a year due to a venue mixup. Life got busy for both of us, but I made an effort to stay in touch, regularly checking in. Her responses were few and far between, until one day out of the blue, she sent me a long text telling me she didn’t want me at the bridal party anymore. She claimed I was the reason we’d drifted apart but said she still wanted me in her life. Yet, when the wedding finally happened, I wasn’t invited at all. A few months after the wedding, she messaged me saying she wanted to catch up. Now, I’m torn: should I take the high road and give her a second chance, or cut ties since she was the one who cut me off first? We still have mutual friends, so it’s likely we’ll run into each other at some point. 

NO MORE BABY TALK
My best friend sometimes makes comments when we are out for dinner with our closest girl group like ‘no more baby talk’. It’s a punch in the gut for me. This year my entire life has been consumed with my baby. I was on family leave and just started back up at work now. At this point of my life, all of it revolves around my baby. I feel confused and don’t know who I am any more, I feel like I have nothing else to talk about, and to my friends who I love dearly, I’m boring them. Normally I wouldn’t want to care what people think of me, but her opinion of me really matters. My best friend does want to have kids (but in a few years). I guess my question is, how do I navigate this friendship, since we are both at different stages of our life? How do I navigate the comments? How do I find myself again? I sometimes miss the old me (freedom and time to do things I want to do), but I especially miss the old me when I feel I’m boring my best friends and have nothing else to contribute. Or how do I care less about this?

NOT READY FOR MY MUM TO MEET MY NEW BOYFRIEND
I’m going away on an overseas holiday with my new boyfriend. We have only been dating for 2-3 months but a holiday is a holiday so why not! My mum is actually going overseas (not with us) at the same time and our flights come in on the same day around the same time. My mum has asked if we can give her a lift home from the airport. It’s only early days in the relationship and a long 2 hr drive home from the airport. This might possibly be the first time she and he meet and I’m not ready for that. I don’t know how to say no without feeling guilty and if I tell her I’m not ready for her to meet him she won’t understand. I know she will take over the car ride home and won’t stop yapping or complaining. I’m feeling so anxious about it already. I’m 35 yrs old if age helps with context.

Keeshia mentioned a great conversation about going sober and alcoholism with Emily Weir & you can listen here

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Zoe Marshall is a lot of things. A podcaster, a content creator, an ex radio host, a mother of 2 and she’s now an advocate for mindset and manifestation. She’s joining us today to talk through why mindset is so important in our lives and the science behind some practices that have been thought of as a bit 'woo woo'.

Zoe also speaks about what led her in a different direction from the successful podcast 'the deep' and how we all process and manage trauma. 

We speak about:

You can find everything from Zoe here

Zoe’s course "How to Manifest" - use code LIFEUNCUT for 25% off

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Hey Lifers!

Laura has had a really heart breaking week. Her wonderful step father passed away last Tuesday night and today she shares some of the best bits of who he was as a man. We also have a conversation about living alongside grief and how life is somewhat expected to continue 'as normal' when you're experiencing it. Laura also shares how she's finding it challenging knowing how to explain what has happened to her two young daughters.

Britt has tried on her first wedding dress and it brought her (and only her) to tears!
The wedding date is closer than any of us expected! We have a bit of a laugh about what styles of dresses we expect Britt to pick. Was the dress you ended up choosing to be married in the 'style' that you expected or was it different?

Is it best to publicly call out a cheater? 
We unpack the growing trend of people using Tiktok to call out what they think is cheating in an effort to out them and find the wronged partner to let them know. 
Is it always better to ‘expose’ them? Or do you think that is more humiliating for the person who has been cheated on?
Is publicly calling out a cheater justified, or does it cause more harm than good?

We mention an episode with a polyamorous family that we absolutely loved! You can listen here

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Hey Lifers!

Producer Keeshia is filling in today and Britt is curious about her chewing gum and toilet choice habits. 
Britt has had a very serious emergency that could have had a very dire outcome. This story isn't for a laugh but more a word of warning!
Vibes for the week can be found on our website
Britt: 
Keeshia: Modern Wisdom - How to stop feeling like your success is never enough
and Apple airpod max headphones

Then we jump into your questions!

IS HE LYING TO ME?
A few years ago when I was around 7 months pregnant I noticed a condom missing from the pack. The only reason I noticed this was because we don’t use condoms and only had them because we were going through fertility treatment and advised to use them prior to egg collection and embryo transfer. I confronted my husband about it and he said he likes to wear them when he ‘relieves’ himself because he likes the feeling of it. Fast forward to now and we have been trying for a second baby for almost 9 months. We have embryos frozen so have decided to go through fertility treatment again. Again, we have been advised to use condoms to avoid multiples etc. My husband hasn’t used any of ours since then, or told me that he’s brought more. For the past few months he has been working away a few nights a week and staying at a friend’s house while he’s away (this friend is married with kids). The other day our 2 year old was going through his bag. He opened a zip and pulled out 2 condoms saying ‘daddy biscuits’. A few hours passed and a comment was made and we ended up talking about it. He told me again he liked the feeling of it and that I have nothing to worry about. My sex drive has been very low the last few months trying for a baby again and sex feels like a chore. He doesn’t want to push me or put any pressure on so finds the need to ‘relieve’ himself which is totally fine. I explained to him why it seemed suss and he understood where I was coming from and said he never even saw it that way. Now the question is - I don’t know if this a red flag and he’s lying to me or is this a legit thing and I should just trust him? We are about to have another embryo transfer and I’m just all over the place with my emotions and how I feel about this. I don’t have actual proof he’s done anything wrong or cheated and I don’t have reason to not trust him.

AM I A BAD FRIEND?
I’ve got a friend who seems to chase chaos in relationships. She is clearly the reason her last wonderful relationship didn’t work out, and since then she has dated multiple toxic guys back to back, and says she loves red flags - as if it’s funny, until it’s not funny anymore. She also never takes any accountability for her bad behaviour. I wish I didn’t get so invested and didn’t care what she did with relationships but it’s put me off our friendship. She’s never done anything bad to me but I find myself with the ick and not wanting to hang out with her because I can’t possibly listen to one more of these chaotic and red flag guy stories. Am I being a bad friend?

NOT BUDGETING FAIRLY
My family is going on a big holiday for a whole week. I’m talking about my sisters, their husbands and their kids + my parents and me (I’m single). One of my sisters has been the arranger of the whole trip. It was her idea so she has booked and budgeted everything and explained how much everything is costing and how it’s getting split. Now it’s coming to the crushing time of paying everything and getting close to us all going but I’m starting to feel as if things haven’t been fairly budgeted. What’s your perspective? We are 3 sisters helping pay toward ours and our parents' holiday however 2 of us have partners also contributing to the 1/3 expected on each of our behalf and then there is me who has to support the whole 1/3 on my own. Is this just the way the cookie crumbles or should this actually be split by 5 to include my sister's husbands?

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In today’s eye-opening episode, we bring you the harrowing story of a woman who has endured relentless and ongoing stalking. To protect ourselves, we made the decision to keep our guest’s name anonymous as the further we got into this chat it became apparent just how dangerous the man stalking her is.  For her, the stalking began years ago and despite every effort she has made with police internationally, she has not been able to have the perpetrator convicted. 

In this episode, we discuss: 

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Hey Lifers,
What're your thoughts on the skateboarding in the Olympics? We're hooked!
Britt has had an old roommate come to visit and it's got her reminiscing on the good old nostalgic days of stitching up a housemate when they bring home a date.

The men (human and canine) in Laura's life keep on sh*tting in inappropriate places but it's bringing a lot of joy to the Life Uncut family!

Republican vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance previously made some outlandish comments that included the country being run by “a bunch of childless cat ladies”. He's joined the conservative Megyn Kelly show on Friday and somewhat doubled down on the commentary. It's a story that now has Jennifer Anniston, Hilary Clinton and Opera involved so we thought we'd throw in our two cents.

It had us asking a few questions:

-Do you think it shifts voter’s perspectives on who will be best to run a country if they have children or not?
-Do your perspectives on how you see the world shift when you have children?
-Are you more ‘entitled’ to a vote if you have a kid that will live in the world that we are creating policies for?

We spoke about being child free by choice with Danni Duncan here

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers,
Welcome back to your weekly venting session where we unpack all of your deep, dark and dirty questions!
It was our 5th birthday but we missed it... We reflect on what the last 5 years have meant and you're all the fkn best for listening to this podcast and helping us create this community!

WE HAVE A NEW HOME FOR OUR VIBES!!
Vibes and Unsubscribes page!

Britt: Netflix Simone Biles Rising

Laura: One Life film

Keeshia: Book - Everyone Here Is Lying

Then we jump into your questions:

WEDDING SAVE THE DATES
I’m getting married at the end of this year, we sent the save the dates February this year. Since then we have lost touch with a friend (never see them, never talk to them over social media etc) they are still close friends with mutual friends of ours. If you send someone a save the date, do you have to follow through with the invitation? There’s no other aspect of money being an issue or anything like that, just purely aren’t close with them now and don’t foresee us being close in the future?

PARTNER WANTS TO TELL GROCERY STORE, I WANT TO KEEP THE REFUND
My partner and I can’t agree. He collected our grocery order tonight for $140 worth and they have had IT issues so we never got the message to say our ‘direct to boot’ order is ready so he went inside the store to grab it. Two hours later we got a message to say our order has to be cancelled and we will be refunded due to IT issues. I think they will take the refund as they are a huge company - we spend at least $300 weekly (family of four- 3 kids in nappies🙈). We are farmers in drought struggling to make ends meet so I think treat it like winning the lottery. He thinks we should ring them to let them know we got the order. I know he is morally right but surely sometimes you have to just take a win. What do you think? 

DATING SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T QUITE FIT WHAT I PICTURED

I’m 28 and have never been in a relationship. A couple of years ago I wrote a list of my ideal man; ambitious, funny, chatty, reliable etc so when I was dating I wouldn’t entertain anyone who wasn’t right for me. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and he ticks everything off the list: he’s really great, I feel safe with him and my friends love him. There’s one small thing that’s niggling at but as I haven’t been in a relationship before I’m still figuring it out. I always pictured myself with someone being the centre of his friend group, could dominate a room, in a sense a bit cocky. But this guy isn’t quite like that! I’m not saying that he’s not confident, but I suppose it looks different to how I envisioned it. I realise I’m overthinking and doubting but any thoughts or advice?

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Tori Dunlap is a New York Times best selling author and host of the #1 money podcast for women in the world and was a self made millionaire in her 20’s. Tori is unapologetic about her finances. She uniquely doesn’t just talk about numbers but the systemic issues and value systems behind money and how much control we actually have over personal finances.

In our chat we speak about:

You can find everything from Tori including her book and her website

You can follow Tori on Tori's Instagram

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Hey Lifers,

First up, have you seen Avatar or Brokeback mountain? They're life changing apparently!
We had a group dinner with some podcast friends that didn't end with Biden stepping back from being a presidential candidate but did end with a huge penis.

Laura has called for a welfare check on someone and created an enemy in the process!

We are seeing an increase in people publicly sharing their breakups on social media, something that previously was almost exclusively done by celebrities. 
Over the past week we saw two opposite types of break up posts. One was from the Princess of Dubai, Sheikha Mahra & the other was a joint statement from Maya Jama and Stormzy. But why are people sharing this kind of content online? Is it for closure? Is it for clarity? Is it for clout?

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers!

Big changes have struck the life uncut team and it's got us questioning 'are you okay?'
We speak about female hair loss and the changes that happen with hair during and after pregnancy. 
Vibes for the week:
Britt unsubscribes from podcast that paywall their content after they've hooked you in
Vibe: Brita water filter
Keeshia: Netflix stand up. Hannah Berner - We Ride at Dawn
Laura: Apple TV doco Jacinta

Then we get into your questions:

TRADIES IN HOUSE

Recently we have been having renovations done to our house, meaning lots of trades coming and going. Tradies were literally arriving at our house and not long after were requesting to use the toilet and doing number 2s (with the sound effects). Not just a once off; this was happening everyday of the renos. Am I the only one to think this is not acceptable? My husband was a lot more understanding than I was; maybe because I’m the one who had to clean it!?). Should tradies not ask to use the toilet if they need to do a poo or am I just being very unreasonable!!

DOES YOUR PARTNER INTERACT WITH YOU AT THE END OF THE DAY?

My boyfriend's default after coming home from work is to be on his phone , watch reels, news, stocks etc. I have told him before to give me attention for a few minutes and just be nice to me so I feel loved. Tonight, Friday night, I'm home from work and looking out onto the balcony as if it's a nice sunset. He comes home, says hi (the door is right across from the balcony ) and sits on the sofa and starts looking at phone. (I was expecting him to walk over to me and give me a hug and kiss). I ask him to come out to the balcony and he says no and continues looking at phone. After a few minutes I ask him to give me some attention (exact words: "babe can you give me some attention?") He throws his phone down and says "stop complaining" and goes into the bedroom and doesn't come out for 45mins. He came out later to the living room and said sorry but he was upset. I asked him to come outside, and he didn't want to. He thinks I'm dramatic and I create a scene ....What do you think? Is it normal to want to be greeted at the end of a work day or am I expecting something that isn’t normal?

SIS IN LAW SHOWER WITH MY DAUGHTER

My sister in law has showered my daughter with her a couple of times, which I don’t feel comfortable with. My biggest issue is that she never asks if it is okay before doing it. I have mentioned it to my husband but he didn’t really think it was a big deal. How do you bring the conversation up without creating an argument because his family is always on the defence about everything I saw and did.

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Hey Lifers,

Conversations about the end of our lives and the end of the lives of the people we love are hard. Sometimes they’re so hard that we completely avoid them and we can put ourselves in situations where we don’t know how to manage the last part of a loved one’s life. With that being said you might assume that today’s conversation would be a bit of a difficult listen, but hospice nurse Julie somehow makes it light, interesting and even humorous!
Hospice Nurse Julie aka Julie McFadden started educating people about death on tiktok and has grown to have over 3 million followers. 

In today’s chat we speak about:

Julie has a brand new book out called Nothing to Fear
You can find Julie on Tiktok
And Instagram

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Hey Lifers,

Delilah has been kicked out of dog school. Again!
Britt shares how she feels like it's a reflection of her and it turns out that pretty privilege also exists in the canine world!
Very sadly, Laura's nan passed away last week. We speak about the concept of the 'rally' where people in the last stage of life seem to have the fog lifted. Laura got to enjoy this moment with her nana. 

Have you ever heard of a shut up ring? What about a shut up move?

We unpack these ideas and how we determine where the line between nagging and good communication is. 

Is it always ‘if they wanted to he would’ or do some people need prompting?

Whether you feel satisfied with a shut up move because you got what you wanted, just not in the way that you wanted it.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show: 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers,
Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep and burning questions!
Laura has had to deal with our worst nightmare; it involves gastro and a child burrito. 

Vibes for the week:
Britt: The Beautiful Game on Netflix
Keeshia: The Rest is Entertainment podcast
Laura: App "Juggle Street"

Then we jump into your questions!

SHOULD I TELL MY HUSBAND I SLEPT WITH HIM
I’ve moved back to the town I grew up in and had a situation where I recognised a tradie that came to our property… I had slept with him! I didn’t mention it to my husband but then I had a thought that maybe I should have told him. I would never lie if he asked outright but now I don’t know if I need to divulge this information voluntarily. Just to add, I didn’t speak to him at all, he didn’t see me and he won’t be returning. It was purely a short fling and it was so long ago who knows if he’d recognise me back. What are your thoughts?

HOW TO STOP OBSESSING WHEN DATING
I’m 35 and in the dreaded dating scene. I’ve just been ghosted suddenly after a few great dates and what felt like a really good connection forming. How do I stop obsessing over what I may have done wrong and what could’ve been. I feel like this will make my dating anxiety even worse. I feel like I’m losing all hope that I’ll ever meet someone that actually likes me back.

SHOULD HE BE CONTRIBUTING FINANCIALLY
I moved to another country to be with my partner. I have said that it’s really important for me to go back home twice a year (4hr international flight, but it’s also a 4hr drive to the airport). Some of my friends and family mentioned that they reckon he should be contributing financially to me going home because I’m the one that moved away. I've always just paid but it did get me thinking and I think it sounds reasonable that he helps me out (he makes significantly more than me) but he doesn’t think so. We’ve been together for a few years now and don’t have any shared finances. What do you guys think?

CHEATING NOTE ON MY CAR
I met the greatest guy ever! My family adore him and he treats me so well. We were living in an apartment complex in a main city where we had an external car park with allocated parking. One day on my way to work, I noticed a note on my windscreen. When I pulled over to read the note, it said, "he cheated on you babe." As soon as I read it, I instantly thought, nope, this isn't for me but as I got to work I kept thinking about it. I started to get upset and told my boss I wasn't feeling well and had to leave. When I confronted my partner, I told him if it's true, let's just talk it over because I can appreciate people who make mistakes. He remained very confident in saying this was not true and he was upset that someone would do something like this. What are your thoughts on this? Would you believe a note someone left on your car, without a contact name or number over someone you loved? Why are people such assholes?

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Joining the pod today for an exclusive interview is the wonderful Frankie Muniz; the beloved child actor who starred as Malcolm in "Malcolm in the Middle" and has now made a name for himself as a NASCAR driver. Britt and Frankie were campmates in the "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here jungle and it was so nice to continue those in depth and personal conversations with Frankie.

We spoke about:

You can find more from Frankie's Instagram

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Hey Lifers!

We are BACK from a little holiday and feeling refreshed, but truthfully still as unhinged as ever! 
Britt made a big hotel mistake and Laura admitted that Matt was right to be annoyed about something she did when she went away.
At the time of recording, media outlets across the world have reported that Margot Robbie is pregnant, despite not having it confirmed by Margot or her husband. It feels like we're not living in 2024.

Just over a week ago Miss Universe from 2012 Olivia Culpo married NFL player Christian McCaffrey. Her wedding attire and subsequent interview with Vogue has cause quite the stir with the question of whether her dress was meant to impress or suppress.
We unpack the internet's response to her interview and weigh in on whether we think it's a conservative campaign with a side of Madonna whore, or if she should be able to choose whatever wedding dress she wants for any reasons she likes!

You can find the tiktok we speak about here - Gown Eyed Girl TikTok

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Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we debate your deepest and darkest dilemmas.
First up, we are taking a hot little 2 week break from the podcast! Laura promises to not get any new tattoos...

We're all excited to get some zzzzs.

Vibes for the week:

Britt - Fanta & Red Wine Sangria

Laura - The Daily Aus The rise in young women getting labia plasty

Keeshia - Search Engine Why'd I Take Speed For Twenty Years

IS IT RUDE TO LEAVE WEDDING BEFORE BRIDE AND GROOM?

Is it rude to leave a wedding before the bride and groom? I have always thought you shouldn’t leave before the couple. But, recently at a wedding heaps of people were leaving early and now I am wondering if I was wrong or if people have just given up on this notion.

HE DOUBLED DOWN ON WHY HE GHOSTED ME

A guy I was dating for a month ghosted me 2 months ago and I didn’t bother following up because we both kind of knew we didn't like each other enough. (He was really hot though so I wouldn't have minded something casual). Fast forward 2 months to now, he decided to call me randomly out of the blue and when I asked his reason for calling, he said he had been reflecting and felt bad that he ghosted and wanted to formally tell me that he didn't think we were compatible. He then went into the reasons why we wouldn't work out. I don't know what's worse: being ghosted or having a ghost pop back up to tell you why he ghosted?? I had a little hope that he wanted to try dating again but he literally just doubled down on why he thought we wouldn't work out. Any thoughts on what's worse?

HOW TO WIPE YOUR BUM

My friend and I are having a SERIOUS debate… about how to wipe your bum. We’ve settled that we’re both TP folders and not scrunchers, but we wipe our poops SO differently. Please help, do you:

Sit on the toilet, reach underneath between your legs and wipe that way? Sit on the toilet, reach around the back and wipe from that angle? OR, Stand up and wipe??

I’m option B, she’s option A and she thinks I’m absolutely crazy for doing so…. Am I? I also occasionally go for option C so I think I’m just fucked up but would love to hear yours and the lifers thoughts. We also settled on wiping from both back to front, or front to back, it just depends on the situation down there…. Is that normal too? Thank you 🤣💩

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We've had conversations about men's violence against women and domestic violence on this podcast for 5 years, but to say that it's still a huge problem in Australia would be an understatement. Many people feel as though we've been speaking about this for decades. It's time that men were a part of the conversation and the solution. This episode with Tarang should help you have those conversations with the men in your life. 

Tarang Chawla is a keynote speaker, writer, broadcaster, advocate and academic at Monash University. He is also the co-founder of ‘Not One More Niki', an organisation working to end men’s violence against women.
Tarang’s younger sister Niki (Nikita) was murdered by her former partner in 2015. She was 23 years old. Tarang has worked tirelessly to educate people about the cultural, political and individual factors that can contribute to men’s violence with the goal of reducing men’s violence.

In our conversation we spoke about:

You can find more from Tarang's Instagram

You can contribute to Not One More Niki

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Hey Lifers,

It's been a HUGE week!
Laura got nits, producer Keeshia won a media week award and as you all likely know, BRITT GOT ENGAGED!
It's been 5 years of us having the privilege of doing this podcast, sharing all of the best life moments and deeply cooked dating lives, whilst praying to all of the Gods that Britt found her penguin! On today's episode, we take a little trip down memory lane of Britt and Ben's love story and then they answer all of your questions about their engagement and future plans!
They speak about:
-Whether Britt knew it was happening
-How the day panned out
-All of the ring details and Ben & Laura's secret messages
-What's going to happen once they're married with where they live
-Any plans for the wedding

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

ON THE SHOW

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OUR BRITTY IS ENGAGED!!!!! 

Today's recording included a HUGE surprise for Laura and Keeshia and we're all crying so you're welcome to too.

First up, Laura wants to help her friend know how to avoid catching the feels for her 'friends with benefits' pal.

Vibes for the week:

Britt - Netflix "Geek Girl"
Keeshia - Unsubscribing from The Kardashians. Vibing The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck podcast The Harsh Truth About Self Discipline ft Rich Roll
Laura - Tony's Chocolonely Caramel Sea Salt Milk Chocolate Block

Then we get into your questions and one little surprise:

I WANT TO KEEP THEIR DOG

My friends have a 2.5yr old toddler and a newborn. To help them out, I agreed to look after their puppy for 18 months as they raise their kids as the puppy can be a bit much. I’m currently two months in and realising I did not think this through. The thought of giving him back in a year is really upsetting. The timing of me taking on their dog has come after A) the death of our family dog, and B) I am healing from a toxic relationship so I really needed a little buddy to latch onto and that has been my friend's dog. I also feel like I’m a better home for him as he has my full attention and has made so many friends at my local beach/dog park. The husband is keen on me having him, but the wife is on a very different page and wants the dog back in a year. I genuinely will be heartbroken if I have to give this dog back. How should I approach this with them to convince them that I should keep their dog?

PORN SHOWER

My husband was in the shower and I needed a lil wee so I went in to do that. As I was on the loo I was perving on him in the shower… he looked good, a potential semi, so I decided to strip off and jump in. We had sex in the shower. When we finished I turned to get out and something dropped on the floor. It was his phone. It had been propped up in the shower. So essentially when I had come in to use the bathroom he was watching porn on his phone in the shower and about to have a wank. He was interrupted. I felt weird, like a bit used, as in he was semi hard from watching someone else and then I finished the job. Should I feel weird about this?

And then Britt's own question!

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In the past few weeks, the Netflix show ‘Baby Reindeer’ has been the number 1 TV show in the world. The bio of the show reads “When a struggling comedian shows an act of kindness to a vulnerable woman, it sparks a suffocating obsession which threatens to wreck both their lives.”

This show provided quite a nuanced look at the insidious nature of stalking and a lot of the complex emotions that the victims can experience.

Joining the podcast today is Nicole Madigan. Nicole is a journalist and the author of “Obsession”. Nicole was stalked for over three years. It wreaked havoc on her life and trapped her in a constant state of fear. 

In this chat we speak about:

You can find more from Nicole here

We mentioned a previous episode that we recorded with Dr Angela Jay here
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Hey Lifers!
Poor Laura has come down with either gastro or food poisoning today so (one of) the boss(es) is away and the mice will play!
Producer Keeshia is filling in today.
Britt went on a magical holiday to Hamilton Island and met Skippy but also potentially ruined someone's wedding photos.
Have you accidentally ruined someone's special day? Have you had a failed proposal? 

We take a deep dive today on how to know whether you should break up with your partner. A bunch of experts put together a list of signs and we also added a few questions of our own like:
-Am I staying in this relationship out of fear of being alone?
-Have you ever stayed in a relationship longer than you should have? What kept you there?
-How do you distinguish between a rough patch and a fundamental incompatibility in a relationship?
-Do you think happiness is a good indicator of the relationship?

We spoke about these episodes in this chat:

Fix the Sex, Fix the Relationship - Uncut with Ester Perel
How to manage a break up - Uncut with Jillian Turecki

The original list was published here in women's health magazine

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

ON THE SHOW

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Hey Lifers and welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep and dark questions and weigh in on all of the dilemmas!

How incredibly awkward can facebook marketplace be? Laura's had the person who is way too keen for a chat and Britt has ended up... not paying for some boogie boards!
If you received a message saying "Available when? I work m-f and get home around 9ish" what would you think it meant? There's a man in Florida who, ahhhh misunderstood those of us working weekdays...

Vibes for the week:
Britt Podcast Trump Trials
Keeshia "Dancing for the Devil The 7M TikTok Cult " on Netflix
Laura Hippo Closet Dehumidifier

Then we jump into your questions:

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There’s a huge amount of stigma associated with anything to do with our periods and for a lot of people, they may have spent years being told that they are dramatic, moody and irrational around the time of their period. As it turns out, it may not have just been ‘that time of the month’. They may experience a condition called PMDD or Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. 

As for any invisible health condition, having a name for it can be really validating and give you a sense that you’re not crazy and you’re not alone. It also helps people around you understand what might be going on so this episode isn’t just for the girlies who experience extreme mood shifts like depression, irritability, anger and hopelessness around their period, it’s also for those of us who don’t so that we can be more supportive for a loved one who does.

Today we have Dr Isobelle Smith, an endocrinologist with over 10 years of experience in hormones, joining us to unpack the ins and outs of PMDD.
We chat:

You can find Dr Izzy Smith here

Izzy mentioned the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders here

And the resource that the Queensland Government put together here

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Hey Lifers!
First up today, we hear what 'Life Uncut' could have been. We also went on holidays to the same place but actively chose not to see each other! Britt got into competitive arguments & Matt surprised Laura with a guest on their family holiday. More highbrow chat; Laura shares a tiktoker who got a bullet vibrator stuck up their butt. Unfortunately it was on. 

Then we are joined by political expert and journalist Charles Croucher to get our heads around Donald Trump's criminal conviction, making him the first president in U.S. history to be convicted of a crime. Charles breaks down Trump's cover up of a 'hush money' payment to porn star Stormy Daniels in the lead up to his presidential election in 2016. We break down whether it's likely Trump will go to jail, whether he could run for president from prison and what other cases might be coming up in the future. 

We speak about what the actual crime was, and how Trump's team tried to use everything in their power to shame and silence a porn star, claiming that she wasn't a credible witness simply because of her job.

You can find more from Charles here.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

ON THE SHOW

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Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep and dark dilemmas!

Britt is particularly chirpy today because her 5 month unintentional celibacy is over! Ben is in town! Laura doesn't have the time for p*rn but she does have the time for an instagram trend that involves you all breathing out all the way and screaming... This isn't our most intellectual episode!

Vibes for the week:
Britt - Apples Never Fall on Binge
Keeshia - "Hale" on Spotify Hale Breathwork.  
Laura - We the wild Neem Oil Spray

Then we get into your questions:

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Joining the podcast today is domestic violence advocate Bianca Unwin. Bianca has degrees in both criminology and psychological sciences and she is joining us today to speak about a loophole known as ‘emergency management days’ that over 7000 prisoners could be using to receive reductions in their prison sentences. Many of these convicted offenders are violent and high risk offenders.

Bianca’s sister Katie was a 29 year old mother of two when her partner Shane Robertson beat her to death while the couple’s child slept in a room next door. Shane was convicted but received a below average sentence of 19 years without parole. However, due to legislation enacted by the Victorian government allowing sentence reductions for prisoners under ‘emergency management days,’ a provision especially impactful during COVID-19, his sentence may be substantially reduced.

Bianca joins the podcast today to speak about the contrast between what we all seem to be screaming from the rooftops in our fight to protect women, and the government’s leniency on reducing the sentence of violent criminals. We also speak about the inadequate rehabilitation of violent perpetrators and how we all need to be showing the government that these reductions in sentences are not what the community wants.

Please take the time to click on this link and sign Bianca’s petition

PLEASE SIGN THE CHANGE.ORG PETITION

You can listen to Bianca's previous episode here!

Some further resources are available below:

Crimes Amendment (Remissions of Sentences) Bill 2021

Released Prisoners Returning to Prison

CORRECTIONS ACT 1986 - SECT 58E Emergency management days

Victorian prisoners get unfair sentence reductions as a result of COVID-19 restrictions, Opposition says

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Hey Lifers!
First up, Britt is served a slice of humble pie for some risky fashion choices. Laura has a stye... it's just a sh*tshow today. 
Laura and Matt went back to where they got married & the kids were a bit disappointed in comparison to last time.

Do you feel as though you can maintain relationships with people who have different values to you? We speak about the response from the Kelce brothers to Harrison Butker's controversial speech two weeks ago.
We discuss the ins and outs of whether different religious, political or moral values dictate if you can have relationships with people. 
We speak about the privilege involved with 'whether' you care about certain view points and whether it's the intensity of those values that might be the line in the sand. 

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

ON THE SHOW

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Lauren Wasser was born into a family of models and started modelling at just 2 months old. She was a fit tom boy and had begun to make a name for herself in the modelling industry. When Lauren was 24 years old she developed Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS).

In this chat we speak about Lauren’s personal experience of feeling a ‘bit off’ one day. 24 hours later she was fighting for her life. The syndrome caused a life threatening situation and Lauren ended up needing to have both of her legs amputated in an effort to keep her alive. Now, 6 years since the infection, Lauren is modelling with her golden legs. 

Lauren also speaks about growing up with one view of beauty, and how our perceptions of beauty have evolved. Lauren speaks about her journey of recovering from her amputations and advocates for better after care for patients who experience similar changes to their lives. 

This episode has been reviewed and approved by two medical doctors registered in NSW. 

You can find more information about toxic shock syndrome in the links below:

https://www.vdh.virginia.gov/epidemiology/epidemiology-fact-sheets/toxic-shock-syndrome/

TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME AND STREPTOCOCCAL TOXIC SHOCK

health direct

government of SA

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Hey Lifers,

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep and dark dilemmas! 

Britt has some really exciting personal news about her sister Sheri and her husband Jay.

Vibes for this week:
Britt - Bodyparts on Nine Now 
Keeshia - Three Identical Strangers on Netflix
Laura - No Filter Patrick Gagne is a sociopath

Then we jump into your questions!

I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH MY COWORKER

How do I let a work colleague know that I have no interest in being friends with them outside of work (or even at work TBH)? I really struggle working with this particular person, but that's clearly unbeknownst to her as she continually asks me to do things outside of work! I always come up with excuses not to go, but it's getting harder and harder. Also these are not big group things where everyone is invited, it's literally just the two of us and maybe one or 2 other people. Do I need to be more direct? Or just say yes and make it a really bad time so she doesn't want to hang out anymore? Or just keep putting up with it and coming up with excuses?

SHOWER ETIQUETTE

What is the etiquette when using someone else’s shower while staying with them? Do you bring your own shampoo/conditioner/body wash etc? Or is it acceptable to use theirs?

DO I CONFRONT/ASK HIM OR PLAY IT OUT

Last week my husband asked me to pick up a parcel for him from the post office and said it was a tool for work. When I picked up the parcel, I noticed it was from a silversmith so I googled them. I didn’t look any further as Mother’s Day was approaching and didn’t want to ruin my surprise. I didn’t get jewellery for Mothers Day. I looked on the website and it could be fingerprint jewellery but it’s way out of our budget.

I mentioned it to my best friend to see what to do. After naming the jeweller, she said our mutual friend is mates with the jeweller, maybe our friend is going to propose and use my husband and our address for secret delivery.

The 3 possible situations are:

My husband bought someone else jewellery Fingerprint jewellery that will be back in a few weeks My husband is in on our friend's proposal and is keeping it secret (fair enough).

My question is, do I ask my husband about the parcel or do I wait and see if something happens in the coming months? Clearly it’s bothering me haha.

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Imagine yourself married to the person you love when they’re diagnosed with terminal cancer. You’ve been their carer and support during such an emotionally difficult time. But, then you find out that they have been cheating on you since your wedding day.
Do you continue to care for them?
Today’s guest didn’t have to imagine this scenario. She lived it.

Kerstin Pilz grew up in Germany and was working as an academic at Macquarie University here in Australia. She was married to her job when Gianni, a charming Italian, turned her life into a champagne-coloured fairy tale.

Soon after their runaway wedding, her new husband was diagnosed with cancer. Kerstin became his dedicated carer. But when she discovered that he had been cheating on her throughout their relationship, she was faced with a difficult choice: walk away, or continue to care for the man who betrayed her. 

In this chat we speak about: 

Kerstin has written a book titled Loving My Lying, Dying, Cheating Husbandand you can get a copy of it here

Kerstin’s instagram is here

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

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