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My Dad Wrote A Porno

My Dad Wrote A Porno

My Dad Wrote A Porno

Imagine if your Dad wrote a dirty book. Most people would try to ignore it and pretend it had never happened - but not Jamie Morton. Instead, he's decided to read it to the world in this award-winning comedy podcast. With the help of his friends, James Cooper and Alice Levine, Jamie will be reading a chapter each episode and discovering more about his father than he ever bargained for.

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186 - We have some news...

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186 - We have some news...
All bad porn must come to an end. The podcast will be coming to a close with two finale episodes plus a WORLD EXCLUSIVE interview with Mr Rocky Flintstone. This show has been an absolute dream to make and has surpassed all of our expectations and we couldn’t have done it without you, the Belinkers. Thank you for everything! Whilst this is the end of the podcast, it is not the end of Belinda. Watch this space. We’ve got plenty to celebrate before we say goodbye so keep your eyes peeled …
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Sun, 13 Nov 2022 - 2min
185 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part Nine
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive as well as playing some exclusive never-before-heard bits. This time, the gang look back at some of the "sexiest" moments from the series. Spoiler: It's not sexy.
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Mon, 25 Mar 2024 - 40min
184 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part Eight
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive as well as playing some exclusive never-before-heard bits. This time, the gang look back at the funniest stories about the man, the myth, the legend, and the author Mr. Rocky Flintstone.
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Mon, 19 Feb 2024 - 43min
183 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part Seven
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive as well as playing some exclusive never-before-heard bits. This time, the gang reminisce about the astonishing range, breadth and questionable quality of the voices and accents in 'Belinda Blinked'.
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Mon, 22 Jan 2024 - 46min
182 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part Six
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive as well as playing some exclusive never-before-heard bits. This time, the gang get festive looking back at the Christmas specials...
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Mon, 18 Dec 2023 - 57min
181 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part Five
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive. This time, it's a starry line-up as the gang look back at their favourite Footnotes guests featuring Dame Emma Thompson, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Dan Levy, Michael Sheen, Nicholas Hoult, Hayley Atwell, Jessie Ware, Elijah Wood, Joe Lycett, Daisy Ridley, Josh Groban, Rachel Bloom, George Ezra, Thomas Middleditch, Stephen Mangan, Ben Barnes and Samara Weaving.
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Mon, 20 Nov 2023 - 46min
180 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part Four
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive. This time, the gang looked back at times they just couldn't hold it together when reading Rocky's supposedly sexy prose. Expect A LOT of squawking.
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Sun, 22 Oct 2023 - 36min
179 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part Three
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive as well as playing some exclusive never-before-heard bits. In this episode, the gang share funny stories about coming-of-age through their teenage, university and early London lives.
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Sun, 24 Sep 2023 - 41min
178 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part Two
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive as well as playing some exclusive never-before-heard bits. In this episode, the gang look back on their funniest sex, relationship and body stories.
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Sun, 27 Aug 2023 - 39min
177 - The Best Of (And Unheard Bits) - Part One
Jamie, Alice and James choose their favourite moments from the 'Porno' archive as well as playing some exclusive never-before-heard bits. In this episode, the gang share stories about their weird childhoods.

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Sun, 30 Jul 2023 - 46min
176 - Rocky Flintstone Revealed
Hold on to your pomegranates! In a world exclusive, Rocky Flintstone joins Jamie, Alice and James on mic for the very first time. Expect laughs, revelations and a lot of chat about cement. Why not join Rocky on his own podcast RockyFlintstoneUnleashed
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Mon, 12 Dec 2022 - 44min
175 - The Finale - Part 2
Pull on your black thongs as a mark of respect and join Jamie, Alice and James as they bid a fond farewell to Belinda...
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Mon, 05 Dec 2022 - 1h 02min
174 - Finale Footnotes: Send Offs, Surprises & Songs
Jamie, Alice and James hear your emails and voicemails before giving one Belinker the surprise of their life in a MDWAP first!
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Thu, 01 Dec 2022 - 34min
173 - The Finale - Part 1
It's the beginning of the end. After six books and over 430 million downloads, Jamie, Alice and James gather round the kitchen table once more to read the first part of the 'My Dad Wrote A Porno' finale. Belinda gathers her friends, colleagues and lovers as she bids a fond farewell to Steele's Pots and Pans...
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Mon, 28 Nov 2022 - 56min
171 - My Dad Wrote A History Hit
To celebrate Comic Relief (and hopefully raise some money) Jamie, Alice and James team-up with historian Dan Snow (from the podcast 'History Hit') to chat all things sex and history. Expect slow thrusting, Henry The Eighth sexual slander and more filth than you can shake a bread dildo at.
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Sun, 13 Mar 2022 - 35min
170 - Best Of Book Six
Jamie, James and Alice look back at some of the highs and considerable lows of book six in Rocky Flintstone's 'Belinda Blinked' saga.
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Mon, 07 Mar 2022 - 38min
169 - My Dad Wrote A Christmas Porno 6 - Part Two
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time for the world premiere of the Steele's Pots and Pans Christmas Panto - 'Cinderella The Intern'.
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Mon, 13 Dec 2021 - 52min
168 - My Dad Wrote A Christmas Porno 6 - Part One
Jamie, Alice and James record part one of Rocky's annual festive special at London's iconic Abbey Road Studios to celebrate their 90th birthday. Belinda begins preparations for Steele's Pots and Pans pantomime.
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Mon, 06 Dec 2021 - 49min
167 - S6E10 - 'The Winner Takes It All'
Steele's Pots and Pans celebrate in the only way they know how before a shock decision changes one character's destiny forever...
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Sun, 01 Aug 2021 - 52min
166 - Footnotes: The Bisch-Burt Contract
Jamie, Alice and James read the contract between Herr Bisch and Wayne Burt (aka Dr. Robbins) to try to get to the bottom of what their legal agreement was and make sense of what the hell is going on.
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Wed, 28 Jul 2021 - 31min
165 - S6E9 - 'The Three B Tree'
Old faces return, secrets are revealed and Belinda's fate hangs in the balance...all because of a tattoo.
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Sun, 25 Jul 2021 - 44min
163 - Footnotes: Dialect Coach
Jamie finally gets some professional help for his many accents from a real life dialect coach.
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Wed, 14 Jul 2021 - 22min
162 - S6E8 - 'Hush, Little Belinda, Don't You Cry'
Secrets are revealed and Belinda finally starts to get some answers (which raises a lot more questions)...
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Sun, 11 Jul 2021 - 49min
161 - Footnotes: Show and Tell
To level the playing field when it comes to embarrassing childhoods, Jamie asks James and Alice to delve into their creative writing from their school days.
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Wed, 07 Jul 2021 - 18min
160 - S6E7 - 'HS2'
Belinda gets one step closer to the Tri-Oxy Brillo blueprints as she finally catches up with Mr Hushman The Background Goon in Berlin
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Sun, 04 Jul 2021 - 44min
159 - Footnotes: Sir Rocky Flintstone?
July 5th is Rocky Flintstone's birthday so the gang research ways to commemorate it. Could there be an international Rocky Flintstone Day? Or could we get Rocky a knighthood?
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Wed, 30 Jun 2021 - 17min
158 - S6E6 - 'B;B;B;'
Family ties come to the fore as Belinda finally gets some answers about her mysterious tattoo.
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Sun, 27 Jun 2021 - 46min
157 - Footnotes: Calling Belinkers 2
Back due to popular demand (mainly from Jamie, Alice and James), the gang call listeners around the world to chat about their theories, funny stories and favourite Belinda moments.
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Wed, 23 Jun 2021 - 31min
156 - S6E5 - 'Back To Basics'
Belinda finally returns to Steele's Pots and Pans and has some scores to settle with her colleagues.
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Sun, 20 Jun 2021 - 45min
155 - Footnotes: Samara Weaving
Award-winning actress Samara Weaving (star of 'Ready Or Not', 'Hollywood' and 'Nine Perfect Strangers') joins Jamie, Alice and James to talk all things Belinda
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Wed, 16 Jun 2021 - 24min
154 - S6E4 - 'Saucy Pans and Cheeky Woks'
The glee team are finally reunited before getting back to business at the Pots and Pan-Pacific Cooking Conference.
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Sun, 13 Jun 2021 - 44min
153 - Footnotes: Understanding The "Timeline"
To help us understand where we currently are in Rocky's erotic saga, pre-eminent 'Belinda Blinked' historian Cian O'Mahony talks us through the full "timeline" so far, flaws and all. You can see Cian's very impressive timeline breakdown in full at https://www.belindablumenthal.business/
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Wed, 09 Jun 2021 - 21min
152 - S6E3 - 'Hard As The Rocks'
Safely in Sydney, Belinda finally reunites with some of her old friends and finds things have changed while she's been missing.
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Sun, 06 Jun 2021 - 40min
151 - Footnotes: Feet
Prompted by this week's chapter, Jamie, Alice and James explore the fascinating world of feet as well as looking back at the reaction to the first two episodes of season six.
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Wed, 02 Jun 2021 - 18min
150 - S6E2 - 'The Flying Doctor'
Stuck in the middle of nowhere, Belinda calls for help to escape the dust and scrub. Meanwhile, Herr Bisch plots his next move.

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Sun, 30 May 2021 - 42min
149 - Footnotes: Rocky Answers Your Questions 5
Once again, you have questions and Rocky Flintstone has something resembling answers. You might learn something but you'll definitely be confused...
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Wed, 26 May 2021 - 16min
148 - S6E1 - 'Dust and Scrub, Scrub and Dust'
Jamie, Alice and James return to open book six of Rocky Flintstone's erotic saga, 'Belinda Blinked', and discover what has become of our eponymous heroine.
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Mon, 24 May 2021 - 47min
147 - Best of Book Five
Jamie, James and Alice look back on some of the funniest highlights of book five in Rocky Flintstone's magnum opus, 'Belinda Blinked', ahead of opening book six.
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Mon, 05 Apr 2021 - 42min
146 - Footnotes: Dear Joan & Jericha
As a Christmas Day treat, spoof agony aunts Joan & Jericha (from comedy podcast 'Dear Joan & Jericha' starring Julia Davis and Vicki Pepperdine) join Jamie, Alice and James to offer their unique take on our listeners' sex and relationship dilemmas. WARNING - Do not follow this advice. It's all a bit of fun and not to be taken seriously.
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Wed, 25 Dec 2019 - 30min
145 - My Dad Wrote A Christmas Porno 5 - Part Two
In the second half of Rocky's festive chapter 'It's a Blinkin' Life', Belinda continues to discover the consequences of life without her in it.
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Mon, 14 Dec 2020 - 46min
144 - My Dad Wrote A Christmas Porno 5 - Part One
Jamie, Alice and James are back to read a festive chapter from Rocky that is so long, it can't be digested in one sitting.
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Mon, 07 Dec 2020 - 49min
143 - My Dad Wrote A Christmas Porno 4
Belinda spends Xmas with Bella's family and gets to know one member particularly well...
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Mon, 16 Dec 2019 - 41min
142 - S5E13 - 'Fight or Flight'
In the final chapter of 'Belinda Blinked 5', Belinda, Bella and Spooner come face-to-face with Bisch, Giselle and George in a dramatic showdown. But will everyone make it out in one piece?
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Mon, 09 Dec 2019 - 45min
140 - Footnotes: Finale Predictions
Jamie, James and Alice read your predictions about how book 5 will end and quickly realise you're all as nuts as Rocky Flintstone...
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Thu, 28 Nov 2019 - 12min
139 - S5E12 - 'Two Clits In The Clink'
In the penultimate chapter, Bella and Belinda are stuck behind bars as James Spooner makes a plan to rescue them.
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Mon, 25 Nov 2019 - 40min
138 - Footnotes: Your Sex Stories
After Belinda and Bella's bonkathon around Australia, Jamie, Alice and James read stories about the most unusual places YOU, our lovely listeners, have had sex...
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Thu, 21 Nov 2019 - 17min
137 - S5E11 - 'A B, a B and a Q'
Belinda and Bella continue their romp around Australia before things take a sinister turn...
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Mon, 18 Nov 2019 - 42min
136 - Footnotes: G'day Belinda!
Now that Belinda and Bella are in Australia, Jamie, Alice and James want to learn more about local life and lingo down under.
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Thu, 14 Nov 2019 - 15min
135 - S5E10 - 'Star Crossed Lovin''
Belinda and Bella arrive in Sydney for their top secret mission to find Giselle. But they seem to be more pre-occupied with trying to get Steele's Pots and Pans on Cosmo Macaroon's cooking show...
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Mon, 11 Nov 2019 - 40min
134 - Footnotes: Dan Levy
Creator and star of 'Schitt's Creek'Dan Levy joins Team Porno to talk the madness of book 5 so far and his experiences of working with his own father, Eugene Levy.
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Thu, 07 Nov 2019 - 21min
133 - S5E9 - 'A Flying Machine So Pretty'
Belinda and Bella make their way to Australia to find Giselle and bump into an old friend en route...
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Mon, 04 Nov 2019 - 40min
132 - Footnotes: Calling Belinkers
Jamie, James and Alice try something new and call listeners to chat about their theories, funny stories and favourite moments of the 'Belinda Blinked' saga.
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Thu, 31 Oct 2019 - 22min
131 - S5E8 - 'M's The Word'
Belinda makes a startling discovery about her closest confidant...
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Mon, 28 Oct 2019 - 40min
130 - Footnotes: My Dad Wrote A Porno Too
Jamie's sister Alexa joins the gang to offer a fresh perspective on what it's like when your dad writes a porno and gives us a glimpse into growing up in the Flintstone clan. Her own podcast for children aged 6 years to 12 years SuperSleuthsStoryClub is well worth a listen.
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Thu, 24 Oct 2019 - 19min
129 - S5E7 - 'A Gentleman Woof'
Belinda (Smiffy) and Spooner (Mr Tea) meet Herr Bisch for a banquet in his schloss. Will they finally stop him, once and for all?
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Mon, 21 Oct 2019 - 41min
128 - Footnotes: Learning German
In honour of Belinda's time in East Berlin, Jamie, Alice and James get to grips with some sexy German phrases. (Listen to the end to hear one of our favourite 'Ok Georgie Porgie' remixes.)
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Thu, 17 Oct 2019 - 17min
127 - S5E6 - 'Clean As A Whistleblower'
Belinda and Spooner are still undercover in East Berlin and getting closer to bringing Bisch and Giselle to justice. Giselle's vagina gets her into trouble.
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Mon, 14 Oct 2019 - 39min
126 - Footnotes: Josh Groban
Grammy nominated singer, songwriter, actor and Belinker Josh Groban joins the gang to talk musicals, randy fans and Celine Dion.
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Thu, 10 Oct 2019 - 24min
125 - S5E5 - 'Smiffy'
Belinda and Spooner head to East Berlin in an effort to find Professor Slinz and bring Herr Bisch and Giselle to justice.
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Mon, 07 Oct 2019 - 37min
124 - Footnotes: Righting The Wrongs Again
Jamie, Alice and James read your complaints, corrections and comments on book 5 so far..
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Thu, 03 Oct 2019 - 13min
123 - S5E4 - 'Showering Ideas;;'
Belinda undertakes vital espionage training to prepare her for infiltrating Herr Bisch's operation...
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Mon, 30 Sep 2019 - 41min
122 - Footnotes: Lin-Manuel Miranda
The Grammy, Tony and Emmy-award winner and creator of smash-hit musical 'Hamilton' Lin-Manuel Miranda joins the gang to talk about the potential Porno musical, his relationship with his own father and the great (but very much not late) Dick Van Dyke.
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Thu, 26 Sep 2019 - 28min
121 - S5E3 - 'The Safe House'
Belinda gets reacquainted with some of her fellow C.O.C.Ks at the new safe house. Herr Bisch has plans for Professor Slinz.

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Mon, 23 Sep 2019 - 41min
120 - Footnotes: Rocky Answers Your Questions 4
You sent your questions and Rocky Flintstone has attempted to answer them. For what you're about to hear, we can only apologise.
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Thu, 19 Sep 2019 - 15min
119 - S5E2 - 'Beep...Beep...Beeeeeep'
The members of the Confidential Order of Cookware Knights hold vigil at Bella's bedside as she fights for her life. Is this the end for her?

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Mon, 16 Sep 2019 - 41min
118 - Footnotes: In Memoriam
Jamie, James and Alice gather to read your memories and tributes to Bella, now that her fate is uncertain after the explosion.
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Thu, 12 Sep 2019 - 10min
117 - S5E1 - 'The Aftermath'
Jamie, James and Alice are back to open book five of Rocky Flintstone's erotic magnum opus 'Belinda Blinked'. After a devastating explosion in the Steele's Pots and Pans car park, it's time to find out who has survived...
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Mon, 09 Sep 2019 - 46min
116 - Best of Book Four
Jamie, James and Alice look back on some of the hilarious highlights of book four in Rocky Flintstone's 'Belinda Blinked' saga.
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Mon, 03 Jun 2019 - 25min
115 - My Dad Wrote A Christmas Porno 3
It's Christmas Eve at Steele's Pots and Pans. Belinda does some last-minute Christmas shopping before getting a chance to sit on Santa's lap...
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Mon, 17 Dec 2018 - 44min
114 - My Dad Wrote A Christmas Porno 1
In the first Christmas Special from 2016, it's the Office Christmas Party at Steele's Pots and Pans...
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Fri, 16 Dec 2016 - 46min
113 - S4E13 - 'The Wicked-ish Bisch'
In the final chapter of book 4, all hell breaks loose as the Special One's identity is finally revealed...
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Mon, 19 Nov 2018 - 42min
112 - Footnotes: Dame Emma Thompson
Double Oscar winner, national treasure and star of 'Nanny McPhee', 'Sense and Sensibility' and 'Love Actually', Dame Emma Thompson has the gang round for dinner. They discuss Rocky's feminist credentials, sex education with her daughter, and wearing trainers at Buckingham Palace...
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Thu, 15 Nov 2018 - 24min
111 - S4E12 - 'A Factory Visit'
In the penultimate chapter of Book 4, Belinda finally sees the tri-oxy brillo range in action for the first time...
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Mon, 12 Nov 2018 - 41min
110 - Footnotes: Jon Ronson
Journalist, author, filmmaker, and fellow porn podcaster Jon Ronson joins the gang to talk Belinda and his crazy experiences in the world of adult entertainment...
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Thu, 08 Nov 2018 - 24min
109 - S4E11 - 'The Meet'
Belinda has a rendezvous with a contact in Scotland - but is everything as it seems?
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Mon, 05 Nov 2018 - 40min
108 - Footnotes: Ask Us Anything
Jamie, Alice and James answer some of your burning questions.
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Thu, 01 Nov 2018 - 19min
107 - S4E10 - 'Clit Talk'
Belinda works up an appetite with Mistress Sweetjuice at the Moulin Marron. The hunt for the Special One takes a suspicious turn...
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Mon, 29 Oct 2018 - 40min
106 - Footnotes: Hayley Atwell
Star of Marvel's 'Agent Carter', 'Howards End' and 'Christopher Robin', Hayley Atwell joins the gang to talk fake porn, Shakespeare and her singing career that never was...
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Thu, 25 Oct 2018 - 28min
105 - S4E9 - 'Boy, She Can Can'
Belinda conducts a team meeting before taking a trip to Paris to secure a crucial client.
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Mon, 22 Oct 2018 - 41min
104 - Footnotes: Gay 101
In this week's Footnotes, the gang take the opportunity to chat all things gay...
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Thu, 18 Oct 2018 - 16min
103 - S4E8 - 'Cricklewood Pumping Station'
Spooner's investigation delves into Giselle's past...and her vagina.
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Mon, 15 Oct 2018 - 33min
102 - Footnotes: James Haskell
England rugby star and Belinker James Haskell joins the gang to talk royal weddings, drilldos and the mad, mad world of 'Belinda Blinked'
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Thu, 11 Oct 2018 - 25min
101 - S4E7 - 'Copier Blues'
James Spooner starts his search for the Special One at Steele's Pots and Pans in the most obvious place, the photocopier room...
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Mon, 08 Oct 2018 - 34min
100 - Footnotes: Sexual Health
The gang chat sexual health with Aaron Chady, a sexual health advisor at Europe's busiest sexual health clinic, 56 Dean Street, in London.
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Thu, 04 Oct 2018 - 16min
99 - S4E6 - 'Pots, Pans and Spoons'
The hunt for the mysterious Special One ramps up a gear as Steele's Pots and Pans puts a plan into action.
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Mon, 01 Oct 2018 - 36min
98 - Footnotes: Jessie Ware
Singer-songwriter, podcaster and Belinker Jessie Ware joins the gang to talk turkey (mainly) and reveal a surprising connection to EL James, creator of Rocky's inspiration, '50 Shades of Grey'...
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Thu, 27 Sep 2018 - 22min
97 - S4E5 - 'Turkey Sandwich?'
Belinda meets an old friend in new surroundings for her favourite snack before bedtime.
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Mon, 24 Sep 2018 - 38min
96 - Footnotes: Righting The Wrongs
Jamie, Alice and James correct some of their many, many mistakes from over the years
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Thu, 20 Sep 2018 - 16min
95 - S4E4 - 'Zachariah's Magic Wand'
Belinda is back in Central London, as she spends a wild night out with the aristocracy...
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Mon, 17 Sep 2018 - 40min
94 - Footnotes: Helga's Case Files
Jamie, James and Alice open Helga's FBI case files on her fieldwork in Amsterdam. The problem is, they're written by Rocky.
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Thu, 13 Sep 2018 - 18min
93 - S4E3 - 'Cubicle Confessions'
More shocking revelations come to light from an unlikely source as the wedding of the year continues...
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Mon, 10 Sep 2018 - 40min
92 - Footnotes: Rocky Answers Your Questions 3
You have thousands of questions. And Rocky Flintstone has none of the answers. But he'll give it his best shot as he gets his exclusive right to reply in this week's Footnotes.
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Thu, 06 Sep 2018 - 15min
91 - S4E2 - 'Tony's Secret'
Will Tony and Giselle say 'I do'? Who is the phantom behind the pillar? Jamie, Alice and James return to the wedding of the year to find out..
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Mon, 03 Sep 2018 - 38min
90 - Footnotes: Who Is The Special One?
We didn't discover the Special One's identity in chapter one - who could it be? Will we ever find out? Jamie, James and Alice examine your surprisingly detailed theories...

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Thu, 30 Aug 2018 - 12min
89 - S4E1 - 'Dearly Beloved'
Jamie, James and Alice are back with book 4 of Rocky Flintstone's erotic saga, 'Belinda Blinked'. The last book ended with the revelation that there was a spy in Steele's Pots and Pans. Will we find out who it is? Does anybody really care?
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Mon, 27 Aug 2018 - 40min
88 - Belinda Blinked 4; The Blurb
Ahead of the start of season 4 on Monday, Jamie, Alice and James read the blurb of 'Belinda Blinked 4' to find out what's in store for Belinda and co.
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Mon, 20 Aug 2018 - 11min
87 - Best of Book Three
Jamie, James & Alice look back on some of their favourite moments from book three in Rocky's 'Belinda Blinked' saga. AND they finally reveal when they'll be opening the fourth book to finally (hopefully) discover who The Special One is.
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Mon, 09 Apr 2018 - 28min
86 - Footnotes: Royal Albert Hall
A special episode from inside London's Royal Albert Hall to exclusively announce we are bringing our live show to this iconic venue. We are making history by it being the world's BIGGEST podcast gig ever! Hurrah!!

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Thu, 01 Feb 2018 - 12min
85 - My Dad Wrote A Christmas Porno 2
In the second XXXmas edition of the 'Belinda Blinked' saga, our heroine goes on a festive skiing trip with The Duchess. Do you need to know more? Enjoy!
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Mon, 11 Dec 2017 - 51min
83 - S3E15 - 'East Berlin'
As Book Three draws to a close, it becomes clear that things will never be the same again at Steele's Pots and Pans...
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Mon, 04 Sep 2017 - 44min

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