PC Gamer UK

In a special episode of the PC Gamer UK Podcast, we run through the PC Gamer Top 100 – a big list of PC games that we assemble every year. Insight! Revelations! Farewells! A toilet break! All of this across nearly two hours of chat.

Discussed: The PC Gamer Top One Hundred Twenty Nineteen

Starring: Samuel Roberts, Phil Savage, Tom Senior

The PC Gamer UK Podcast is an ostensibly fortnightly podcast about PC gaming. Thoughts? Feedback? Requests? Tweet us @PCGamerPod, or email letters@pcgamer.com. This week’s music is from Portal 2.


http://dl.pcgamer.com/podcasts/PCGUKpodcast/pcgukpodcast_072.mp3


Advertisements

Welcome to the new dystopia, where the accents are questionable, the grannies are starting, and every street corner looks like the inside of a PC case. Welcome to Watch Dogs Legion's London. Samuel has played Ubisoft's upcoming hack-'em-up, and talks us through its cool NPC-gathering gimmick. That's not all: this week, we're regaling you with the many half-remembered delights of E3 2019, from Cyberpunk 2077 to Empire of Sin.

Dormant. Sickly. Drunk, lying face down in a gutter. Those are all words that you can't use to describe the PC Gamer UK Podcast, because it is back and strong like a man who is very good at competitively pulling trucks a short distance. Look. We've forgotten how to podcast, and we've forgotten how to write podcast descriptions. But we're back, and that's something.

Join the PC Gamer team for a nice time discussing a) a frog who is not the world's best detective, b) a Hitman rivalry that may be getting out of hand, and c) a selection of our picks for the greatest PC games of the period commonly referred to as twenty eighteen.

Sheepishly, we return to the podcast studio after a three month hiatus. Er... sorry about that. To make up for it, we talk through a selection of new and recent releases, all while trying to remember how you a) do a podcast, b) speak in full, comprehensible sentences, c) tell a joke without lampshading it first.

It's a special episode of the PC Gamer UK Podcast, as the team runs through the latest edition of the PC Gamer Top 100 – our annual list of the best PC games you can buy right now. We run through every game in the list, which you can find in the current issue of the UK magazine (look for the shiny World of Warcraft cover). We also talk about the process of creating the list, and grow increasingly hungry as lunchtime approaches.

E3 was a couple of weeks ago at this point, but that won't stop the PC Gamer UK team from gathering to discuss everything at the show – from the futuristic cityscape of Cyberpunk 2077 to the cold, hard buttocks of Assassin's Creed Odyssey. Plus, now Phil can talk about Yakuza 0 in a way that's relevant to a PC gaming podcast.

Broadcasting live from the Infinite Deadline, Samuel, Phil and Pip gather to talk about PC games new and old. Except, wait, no, less than three minutes in and already there's a tangent about Pokemon Snap. Sorry. It's been a long week.

The PC Gamer team return for a freewheelin' discussion about (mostly) PC gaming. Pip is annoyed by a fish, Phil is confused by a jungle, and Sam is nauseated by a corpse. Also, a mysterious signal; a transmission from a far off land. But who is its sender, and why are they surrounded by cardboard?

This week (month? Fortnight? Just how frequent is this podcast these days?) Andy returns from his self-imposed exile to all things Jurassic World Evolution. He's played Frontier's upcoming park management sim, and reveals everything he knows about disaster, dinosaurs and Dr. Ian Malcolm. Meanwhile, Samuel and Phil revise their opinions of Vermintide II and Sea of Thieves.

In a break from the regular format, Samuel and Phil have both played new, recently released PC games. Sam goes head to head with an unspecified cult in Far Cry 5, Phil chunders on a friend in Sea of Thieves, and both have a rant about why, yes, Warhammer: Vermintide II is very difficult thank you very much.

Samuel, Pip and Phil are back, and have played some games for once. Phil talks about the comedic warmth of Chuchel, Pip gets annoyed by a disembodied voice in Assassin's Creed Origin's new Discovery Tour, and Samuel attempts to make a pork mech in Smoke and Sacrifice. Then we move on to Twitter questions, which may have been a mistake.

Samuel, Pip and Phil discuss the philosophical and nutritional ramifications of the chicken dinner, because they haven't podcasted for a couple of weeks and have seemingly forgotten how to not launch immediately into a tangent. Samuel sets out the rules for proper brig use, Phil apologises for crashing a boat, and Pip runs down Subnautica's jellyfish content.

After an extended Christmas break (sorry!), Sam and Phil convene to catch up on the latest in PC gaming. After a brief discussion on our Christmas gaming habits, we launch into an extended conversation about GTA Online's latest update: The Doomsday Heist. We also answer a bumper crop of questions, from what we're looking forward to in 2018, to PC gaming's most misused mechanics.

Samuel, Pip and Phil recorded this podcast last week and then fell into a deadline-fuelled stupor. Now recovered, they rediscover the podcast, but have no real memory of what's on it. Definitely nothing worth taking legal action over, if you're reading this lawyers.

Samuel, Pip and Phil keep the pod train rolling by discussing the latest games, gaming news and... ah, who are we kidding. We try our best to stay on topic, but Phil rants about vaping for about five straight minutes, Pip tells a story about candy floss and Samuel does a bad badger impression.

Sam, Pip and Joe discuss the world of Football Manager 2018, two of whom have little to add to the conversation outside of '90s football references. Plus, Wolfenstein 2 and Destiny 2 chat. Finally, Dark Train: indie game or MOBA hero? You decide.

With Phil on deadline and Andy in a different county, Samuel and Pip discuss a slew of indie games, as well answering about four weeks' worth of questions from our various channels.

The PC Gamer team gathers to about the latest and soon-to-be-latest PC games, from the seemingly endless Divinity: Original Sin 2, to the all-consuming Destiny 2. You're going to need to set aside some significant time to play the year's biggest games. Here's hoping you don't meet a high-level hippo along the way.

After an impromptu summer holiday, Samuel and Phil return with PC Gamer's new deputy editor, Philippa Warr. We apologise for our month long break, and launch into an (ethically sound, disclaimer containing) chat about Heat Signature, Dishonored: Death of the Outsider, Paladins: Champions of the Realm and South Park: The Fractured But Whole. Also, we try to remember how to podcast.

Oh snap, it's the PC Gamer Top 100! Samuel, Phil and Andy – yes, he's here this week – run through the entire thing, making brutally honest judgements based on a list voted for by almost 20 PC Gamer staffers and freelancers. Why not follow along at home, with a copy of PC Gamer in your hands? (You do have a copy, right?)

Phil is back, after a (presumed) near death experience. He and Samuel celebrate by talking about PC games, and also the Discovery documentary series Deadliest Catch. We chat about Guild Wars 2's upcoming expansion, Path of Fire, and relive the highs and lows of GTA Online. And then there's about 12 minutes of crab stuff. Sorry.

Samuel and the returning (finally) Andy Kelly yammer about Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, the name of which Samuel forgot, which is highly embarrassing. In a quiet time for big releases, they also touch upon The Sexy Brutale, Resident Evil 7 and Mad Max, the latter of which Andy has slowly become obsessed with.

Discussed: Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, The Sexy Brutale, Night in the Woods, Resident Evil 7, Life is Strange: Before the Storm, Mad Max

Ya Boys: Samuel Roberts, Andy Kelly

The PC Gamer UK Podcast is a weekly podcast about PC gaming. Thoughts? Feedback? Requests? Tweet us @PCGamerPod, or email letters@pcgamer.com. This week’s music is from Wolfenstein: The New Order.

http://dl.pcgamer.com/podcasts/PCGUKpodcast/pcgukpodcast_050.mp3

Samuel and Phil, fresh off their recent job promotions, gather to answer the questions of you: the listener. Or at least, the questions of those listeners that have actually asked us a question. We are yet to work out how to intuit your questions telepathically. We discuss which game lore we'd subject ourselves too, reveal our pre-game settings rituals, wonder whether Sam was right to accept a free beer, and discover whether Phil is a secret faun.

Samuel, Tom and Phil take a break from compiling the PC Gamer Top 100 to talk about their personal selections for the PC Gamer Top 100. Our 100% accurate annual list of the best PC games is almost here again, and in this episode we reveal a sample of the games we voted for.

Will our favourite games grace the finished list? Will Dragon Age 2 be in 94th position for the second year running? Can anything unseat last year's victor, The Witcher 3? Those questions will be answered on July 27, when the Top 100 is published in issue 308 of PC Gamer UK magazine.

It's the PC Gamer E3 special! Samuel, who was at E3, and Phil, who watched it at home in his pants, gather to discuss their most anticipated games from the Electronic Three. Was EA's conference an influencer too far? Is Assassin's Creed Origins any good? And was Metal Gear Survive really Samuel's game of the show? All of this, and some reader questions.

Samuel and Phil gather – sans Andy – to discuss the latest PC gaming delights, from Dirt 4 and Prey to... er... Anachronox, for some reason. Can Dirt 4 satisfy both simulation and arcade racing fans? Would Prey have benefited from being a few hours shorter? And is Anachronox worth playing, or indeed worth talking about? All this, and we discuss whether DLC is actually bad (spoiler: no).

This week, the PC Gamer team discusses a plethora of smaller games, from Tokyo 42 to Rime. One might call it a smorgasbord. Not us, though – partly because it's a rubbish metaphor, but mostly because we doubt Little Nightmares would be appetising. Also, we discuss what games we'd smush together into a much better game, and inevitably Dragon Age 2 is mentioned.

Oh snap, it's the PC Gamer podcast! I'm going to level with you: it's 5:27pm on a Friday and the race is on to get this episode description written before we flee the building and embark on a weekend of PC gaming revelry. There's just time to say that in this episode, Samuel, Phil and Andy make some E3 predictions, discuss Destiny 2 and answer your questions.

Samuel, Andy and Phil return from a podcast break to discuss the latest PC games, and to impart their years of collective wisdom on the best sausages you can buy in Waitrose. (Other sausages are available.) We also answer your questions, offer varying opinions on Prey, and find out whether PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS is better than its name. Farewell, sausage.

Tom Senior, Phil Savage and podcast favourite 'The Meeting Next Door' return to talk about walking – in houses, in caves, and even in Europe during a war. Also: would Jeremy Corbyn main Chun-Li, and what does Theresa May's Crusader Kings 2 save look like? All that, and Dragon Age 2 is mentioned yet again.

It's another post-deadline podcast, but an incredibly tired PC Gamer team bravely soldiers on to talk about the latest in PC gaming and whether the Empire actually did anything wrong. We also answer your burning questions, such as could we beat up a three-year-old? And yes, dear listener. We could.

Samuel and Phil gather to discuss the health of VR, and offer early impressions of The Signal From Tolva. Then, it's over to you for another bumper questions special! Why? Because we didn't play enough games to fill a full episode. Yes, we are ashamed of our words and deeds.

The Traveller came and brought forth a Golden Age of banter. But then the Hot Takes followed, and the world as we know it fell. Can the PC Gamer team drive back the darkness? Can Bungie bring Destiny's combat to PC? Can Mass Effect Andromeda hold onto its place on Andy's hard drive?

After a traumatic deadline, Samuel and Phil climb into the podship and set off on a journey PC gaming. Unfortunately, neither of us had played anything of note this week, so instead we used your questions as an excuse to ramble about stuff. Listen, and find out why fantasy is better with giant mushrooms, and why Legion makes for bad second screen TV.

Discussed: Questions

This week: Samuel Roberts, Phil Savage

The PC Gamer UK Podcast is a weekly podcast about PC gaming. Thoughts? Feedback? Requests? Let us know in the PC Gamer Discord channel. This week’s music is from Baldur’s Gate.

http://dl.pcgamer.com/podcasts/PCGUKpodcast/pcgukpodcast_038.mp3

From Bolivia, to a remote galaxy, to a far future filled with colossal murderboys. Wherever you go, there's always time to sit down and chat about the financial quarter's core IPs. Just don't ask us to delete one of our precious franchises, lest we butterfly effect a new, all powerful enemy. Threatening message. It's Elcor's time now.

Last week, PC Gamer said goodbye to noted Dota fancier Chris Thursten. But while his voice will no longer echo around the office, it will arrive in your ears via his final appearance on this here podcast. That doesn't really tell you what this episode is about, but it's me – Phil – writing this, and I wasn't in the room when it was recorded. I have no idea what's about to happen. Let's find out together.

This week, Andy takes us into Mass Effect's Andromeda galaxy, shuts down Samuel's assertion that Night In The Woods is the videogame version of Weird Twitter, and some other stuff is discussed that we can't recall because when we recorded this we'd all worked 12 days in a row.

This week, Samuel, Phil, Andy, and the occasional background murmurings of a nearby meeting get together to discuss what they've been playing. Phil struggles to find the point of WWE 2K17, Andy advocates for the calming space exploration of Take On Mars, and Samuel runs through a bumper crop of your questions. The nearby meeting contributes little to the discussion, but here's hoping it was productive.

In this episode, Samuel (status: sleepy), Phil (status: caffeinated), and Andy (status: Andy) talk about the evil within Resident Evil 7, break down the meta of Gwent, and answer a bunch of good questions that aren't about SSDs.

Welcome to the thirty-second episode of the PC Gamer UK Podcast, home of possibly the longest tangent in our history. Around that, you'll hear about Samuel and Phil's slapdash adventures with Space Engineers, find out whether Phil understands what's happening in GoNNER (no), and learn why Samuel isn't a music journalist. Also, we answer a bumper crop of your questions – as asked by our Discord community.

Hi. Er, how's it going? Look, it's been a couple of weeks since we last recorded a podcast. Blame Christmas, and the fact that making magazines is hard. I've sort of forgotten what goes in this bit of the episode description. Something about how the PC Gamer team got together and tried to remember how this podcasting thing works, probably. We talk about Elite Dangerous, the games of 2017, and then answer a couple of questions.

Hey! We've got a new community home on the PC Gamer Discord channel. Head here to sign up, and join the uk-podcast channel to hang out with fellow listeners and ask why the next episode isn't out yet.

It's the 30th podcast episode, but we're celebrating our 300th magazine issue. Join Sam, Phil and Andy on a self-indulgent tour of magazine craft – going behind the scenes of the making of a landmark issue of PC Gamer. Also, we talk about the good videogame Watch Dogs 2.

Hey! We've got a new community home on the PC Gamer Discord channel. Head here to sign up, and join the uk-podcast channel to hang out with fellow listeners.

Slam the breaks on that time truck, because we're not ready to leave 2016 just yet. First, as is our sacred duty, we must anoint the best games of the year. We'll be announcing PC Gamer's official Good Games of 2016 Awards in the upcoming issue 300. For now, Samuel, Phil and Chris run through their personal nominations. From XCOM 2 to Dishonored 2, with a little stop for yet more Hitman.

Sorry, sorry. A lot of things happened. Samuel was on deadline, Phil was in Texas, our FTP server wouldn't let us log on. It's been a rough, podcastless couple of weeks, but, to make it up to you, here's us talking about two of this year's best games: Titanfall 2 and Dishonored 2. Also, we talk about Hitman. Again.

Podcasting: that magical medium where the gulf between recording and publishing can leave your Red Dead Redemption 2 hot takes looking old and soggy. Our out of date speculation aside, this episode features oven fresh opinions on a variety of new games, as well as a brief insight into how we deal with the internet being angry at our list features.

Discussed: Thumper, Battlefield 1, Halo Wars 2, Rise of the Tomb Raider: 20 Year Celebration Pack

This week: Samuel Roberts, Tom Senior, Phil Savage

The PC Gamer UK Podcast is a weekly podcast about PC gaming. Thoughts? Feedback? Requests? Get in touch at pcgamer@futurenet.com and use the subject line “Podcast”, or tweet us via the links above. This week’s music is from Tomb Raider.

http://dl.pcgamer.com/podcasts/PCGUKpodcast/pcgukpodcast_027.mp3

This week, PC Gamer gets stuck in the past. From beating up racists in the '60s, to fondly reminiscing over World War 2's varied terrain. (It did have a lava level, right?) Also, what happens when trucks meet physics meets jumping meets streamers? And what's the deal with review scores?

Phil, Andy and Tom sit down to discuss the worst nicknames, wonder why the FBI are getting involved in local kidnappings, and ruminate on the disappointing nature of gassy asteroid parps. If you're thinking, 'Wow, that sounds like exactly the podcast entertainment I'm looking for,' then buckle in for the ride of your next one hour and two minutes.

This week, the team talks about ambitious skyfaring MMO Worlds Adrift, and revisits the BioShock series courtesy of the new remasters. No reader questions this week, because Phil's not here, and Samuel didn't have access to the emails. He did discover the truth about Adam Jensen's parents, though.

Samuel and Phil are tired, after what can charitably be described as a difficult magazine deadline. Nevertheless, they dragged themselves into a recording studio for a scattershot podcast covering new, upcoming games, and a few old favourites. And WWE 2K16, for some inexplicable reason.

Discussed: Mafia III, Endless Space 2, Hitman, WWE 2K16, Superhot

This week: Samuel Roberts, Phil Savage

The PC Gamer UK Podcast is a weekly podcast about PC gaming. Thoughts? Feedback? Requests? Get in touch at pcgamer@futurenet.com and use the subject line “Podcast”, or tweet us with #pcgpodcast. This week’s music is Endless Legend.

http://dl.pcgamer.com/podcasts/PCGUKpodcast/pcgukpodcast_023.mp3

Yet again, PC Gamer has organised 100 of our favourite PC games into a list. This week on the podcast we look through that list – now available to read online – and pick out some of the most notable, surprising and infuriating choices.

First, an apology: the audio quality of this episode is rough. Oh, sure, it starts off fine, but as we go along, Andy and Phil get quieter, while Tom gets louder and louder. We blame GamesRadar, who pinched all the good microphones for their Gamescom coverage. Still, suffer through this audio catastrophe for some mild takes on Metal Gear Survive, plus some more informed views on No Man's Sky and Deus Ex: Mankind Divided. We'll do better next time.

The PC Gamer UK podcast is back from its entirely unintentional holiday. Sorry for the absence. To make up for it, here's 90 minutes of fresh, juicy takes – at least two-thirds of which are somewhat comprehensible. Phil reports back from QuakeCon, Andy reports back from Newcastle, Samuel gets in the sea, and Tom pets his tentacle bear. Plus: reader questions, which is about when this podtrain flies off the rails. Sorry. Again.

It's a format break! This week, Samuel, Andy, Phil and Chris run through some of their personal picks for the PC Gamer Top 100 – our annual list that definitely makes everybody happy and not mad at us. What did they vote for? Why did they vote for it? And which game lets you hold two fistfuls of iron wank?

A slightly shorter podcast this week – hey, we're not made of hot takes – but hot dang, what an audio experience it is. Samuel's surprised by an air conditioner. Phil is afraid of all fluids. Andy is impressed by some poignant world building. Also, the highs and lows of a GTA Online heist.

Discussed: Inside, Metro Last Light, GTA Online, Team Fortress 2.

Andy finds out if Inside deserves the critical acclaim. Samuel learns how many bosses it takes to crave a chicken dinner. Phil discovers what's hiding in his pile of shame. We all find out why Angus is playing Minecraft, of all things. Then it all goes a bit wrong. Sorry. It's Friday and things got a bit out of hand.

Games: Inside, Furi, Styx: Master of Shadows, Minecraft, Brigador.

Now that the team is almost back to full strength (Andy went home with hay fever), let Samuel and Tom fill you in on their surprise hits and misses of E3. Also, Phil's been playing Overwatch. He apologises and endeavors to play something new for next week. Finally, what is a Tom Senior game, and why should you spend about £5 on one?

This week, things get intimate. With Andy trapped up a mountain, Samuel and Phil settle in for a two man heart-to-heart. Sam sets the record straight on his E3 experience. Phil experiences the ordeal of Trials of the Blood Dragon. Also: is the Xbox One doomed? What games would you take to a desert island? Do you have internet on this desert island? Why is nobody coming to help you off this desert island?

Discussed: Watch Dogs 2, Trials of the Blood Dragon, Agents of Mayhem, Batman: Arkham Knight, Abzu

This week: Samuel Roberts, Phil Savage

Notes:


Phil’s Trials of the Blood Dragon review.
A poop tsunami in Cities: Skylines.
Samuel’s episode of Final Games Podcast.


The PC Gamer UK Podcast is a weekly podcast about PC gaming. Thoughts? Feedback? Requests? Get in touch at pcgamer@futurenet.com and use the subject line “Podcast”, or tweet us via the links above. This week’s music is from Half-Life 2: Episode 2.

http://dl.pcgamer.com/podcasts/PCGUKpodcast/pcgukpodcast_015.mp3

An E3 has happened. Now that the businessmen have let slip the #content, it falls to the PC Gamer team to make sense of it all. Phil, Andy and Chris huddle around a mic to run through the conference announcements. What can we learn from the Mass Effect trailer? Is there any reason to care about Skyrim Remastered? Will Forza Horizon 3 be worth playing, despite its inevitable douchebag? Is Call of Duty good now? And, most importantly of all, why, Kojima, why?

Discussed: E3

This Week: Phil Savage, Andy Kelly, Chris Thursten

The PC Gamer UK Podcast is a weekly podcast about PC gaming. Thoughts? Feedback? Requests? Get in touch at pcgamer@futurenet.com and use the subject line “Podcast”, or tweet us via the links above. This week’s music is I’ll Keep Coming by Low Roar, from the Death Stranding trailer.

http://dl.pcgamer.com/podcasts/PCGUKpodcast/pcgukpodcast_014.mp3

Striding into town with two spoons on his back – one silver, one steel. He ignores the local noticeboard, and pays no heed to the peasants’ shouts and jeers. Instead, he listens to a podcast episode featuring Mirror’s Edge Catalyst, The Witcher 3: Blood & Wine, Fallout 4: Far Harbor and some pre-E3 discussion. Rounding […]

This week, it is High Noon. Phil and Andy discuss Overwatch, but mostly talk about the gifs they have seen. Later: impressions from the new Hitman episode, and a hands-on report from 60 turns of Civilization VI. Then, after a brief existential panic over E3 being only being a fortnight away, we start to discuss what we're looking forward to, before being distracted by talk about Rockstar and the games they aren't releasing. We also announce the winner of our peanut M&M competition.

Is Total War: Warhammer the perfect marriage of strategy and batshit fantasy? What is Duskers, and why should you care? Is Final Fantasy X-2 secretly the best Final Fantasy game? What sound does a dying wizard make? Does something dark lurk within The Witcher 3: Blood & Wine? When will Andy eat his peanut M&M?

No seriously, when? This week we're giving away a free copy of Battleborn to the first listener who can correctly identify the time when Andy consumes his sugared peanut treat. If you spot it, send your answer to pcgamer@futurenet.com. We explain why this is happening in the episode itself, albeit not in a way that makes any more sense.

The team attempt Hitman's first elusive target. What follows is a story of success, failure and blatant cheating. Also: Doom, VR, Stellaris, Battlefield 1 and Civilization VI.

Andy and Phil argue about Hitman's second episode & Knuckles. Phil gets to grips with Stellaris's early game & Knuckles. Samuel builds hundreds of tanks, and makes them fight for his amusement & Knuckles. Also: our top three most anticipated games, a terrible analogy, and your questions answered. & Knuckles.

Note: The podcast was recorded last week, before we'd hit Stellaris's mid-to-late game. For a final verdict, head to pcgamer.com.

Relic has announced Dawn of War III, and we've seen it! In a special episode of the podcast, Tom Senior offers his exclusive impressions of the RTS sequel. For more Dawn of War, head over to pcgamer.com, or check out the next issue of PC Gamer magazine, out 5 May.

With Andy at EVE Fanfest, and the rest of the team on a post-deadline come down, nobody's played anything new. Instead, Sam, Phil and Tom dig into their PC gaming origins – revealing the gaming obsessions of their formative years. What mystery flight sim hijinks first sparked Tom's interest in games? Did Phil really endure Command & Conquer on a Playstation 1? How did a Mario game introduce Sam to the delights of PC gaming? All that, plus controversial opinions about Dragon Age 2.

It's hard being a video game protagonist. Maybe you'll run the rooftops of a pristine dystopia. Maybe you'll unpick the mysteries of deepest, ruralist Shropshire. Maybe you'll slog through a dungeon festooned with fiendish traps. Or maybe you'll fight long into the abyss. And maybe the abyss also fights into you. Maybe there's another option. Maybe there's... the pub.

Discussed: Mirror's Edge Catalyst, Everybody's Gone To The Rapture, Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear, Dark Souls III, No Man's Sky, Overwatch.

Take a left at the road of disappointment, past the TV actor with the inconsistent frame rate. Hang a right onto the bridge of disenchantment, stopping only to acknowledge the distant giant. Up the hill of chagrin you'll see many a chef toiling through adversity. Pay them no heed, for you have reached your final destination: the Gazebo of Despair.

Discussed: Quantum Break, Dark Souls III, Overcooked, Scanner Sombre, Wrong Wire, Frozen Synapse 2, Tokyo 42, Enter The Gungeon, Seinfeld: Isolation.

Squawked from the gnarled beak of the ancient crow priest. Snarled from the dead lips of the demonic hell beast. Painted on the bow of your upgradable boat. Spoken from a door you're still two hearts from opening. Echoed within the monotonous buzz of industrial power tools. It's a taunt, no, an instruction: "git gud".

Discussed: Hyper Light Drifter, DOOM, You Must Build A Boat, Stardew Valley, The Division, Steam shame, drilling.

Is it the trio of zany characters on a time-travel adventure? Is it the horde of robots challenging you to an arena fight? Is it you friends, relaxing with a glass of Welsh cider and asking that you mount them? Maybe, just maybe, it's you who has been John Carpenter's The Thunged.

Games discussed: Day of the Tentacle Remastered, Fallout 4: Automatron, Samurai Gunn, Mount Your Friends, The Thing, Blade Runner, Prey 2.

Can we turn rollercoasters into deathtraps? Can we assassinate a target in increasingly convoluted ways? Can we hold meetings from the cockpit of a Cobra Mk.IV? Can we aim a bolt-action rifle at the critical consensus? Can we alienate ourselves from a quaint country community? Can we order an R2 unit to gather our berries? Yes, we can do all of these things. But should we?

Note: This week, Andy got the duff mic. Apologies that he's so quiet. The good news is that we've now identified the duff mic. We'll get a replacement sorted for next week's cast.

PC Gamer UK returns to the fallow fields of Poddington-on-Cast. It's an idyllic place, and, as the days stretch on and the hot takes bloom, the team wonder if they've finally found peace. Alas, a cutlass is no substitute for a scythe, especially when thrown at a head with unerring accuracy. The screaming of skulls distracts from the toil of manual agriculture. And what's with all the seeping, toxic gas? As if that all wasn't enough, it turns out the money's gone bad.

Games discussed: Tom Clancy's The Division, Hitman, Stardew Valley, Devil Daggers, No Man's Sky.