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Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon is your destination for profound, enlightening discussions about love, family, intimacy, and everything in between—a podcast that gives us the opportunity to reimagine ourselves, our relationships, and our world. Hosted by renowned clinical psychologist, professor, and award-winning author Dr. Alexandra Solomon, featuring conversations with notable guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture.
- 143 - Healing Relationships: Reclaim the Masculine and Feminine Within with Dené Logan
In North America, we’re conditioned from an early age to cultivate specific components of our full personalities and curtail others. For people socialized as girls, traditionally “feminine” qualities such as softspokenness and emotional exploration are encouraged, while assertiveness is discouraged. For people socialized as boys, qualities like toughness and a stiff upper lip are considered masculine, and they are advised against being open about their feelings.
Tue, 10 Sep 2024 - 1h 01min - 142 - The 1% Rule: How We Learn from Relationships with Andrea Miller
Founder and CEO of YourTango, Andrea Miller, joins Dr. Share to share the power of being a lifelong “seeker” of relational wisdom. Andrea has dedicated her life to connecting her audience with relationship experts and celebrating relational wisdom, and today, invites us into her journey of opening herself up to love’s lessons.
Tue, 3 Sep 2024 - 40min - 141 - Love and Loss: Expanding Compassion as You Grieve with J.S. Park
Loss and grief are universal and profoundly human. The death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a trauma that drastically shifts the trajectory of a life—each spurs a unique grieving process that can be difficult to navigate for both the people grieving and their support systems. As a chaplain at a Level One Trauma Center in Florida, J.S. Park provides emotional and spiritual care for and comfort to those experiencing grief. His support of patients at the end of their lives, and of the loved ones who remain, adds tremendous impact and compassion to his most recent book, As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve. In this episode, J.S. shares with Dr. Alexandra what his education and experience have taught him about the “right” things to say and the ways to support grieving loved ones. He offers deeply considered insights into our misguided fear of bringing up the deceased, the impact of loss on the past and the future, and how to care for both a loved one and oneself during the grieving process.
Tue, 27 Aug 2024 - 47min - 140 - Safe Conversations: The Healing Power of Listening with Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt and Dr. Harville Hendrix
What happens when we listen and are listened to more fully, forging a deeper connection? Decades of research tell us that the brain undergoes physiological changes when we begin to “talk without criticizing, listen without judgment, and connect beyond difference.” This is the definition of dialogue coined by today’s guests, Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt and Dr. Harville Hendrix.
Tue, 20 Aug 2024 - 47min - 139 - Ten Essential Skills for Navigating Conflict (Part Two) (Re-release)
In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra shares ten essential skills for couples struggling with routine conflict in their relationship. Offering strategies from her couples therapy practice, Dr. Alexandra provides new language and ways of thinking about arguments that promote empathy and care, shifting couples into a "we" perspective so that they can move through hard times as a team.
Tue, 13 Aug 2024 - 1h 08min - 138 - Ten Essential Skills for Navigating Conflict (Part One) (Re-release)
In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra shares ten essential skills for couples struggling with routine conflict in their relationship. Offering strategies from her couples therapy practice, Dr. Alexandra provides new language and ways of thinking about arguments that promote empathy and care, shifting couples into a "we" perspective so that they can move through hard times as a team.
Tue, 6 Aug 2024 - 40min - 137 - The Parent-Child Bond: Removing Blame & Accessing Joy with Dafna Lender
Family therapy expert Dafna Lender and Dr. Alexandra explore the complexities of the parent-child relationship. With 25 years of experience, Dafna has a deep understanding of how a child’s difficult behaviors and a parent’s reactivity can clash and land a family into a therapist’s office. Dafna explains how to disrupt this cycle by removing blame, exploring the parent’s attachment history, and bringing a sense of joy and playfulness back into the relationship.
Tue, 30 Jul 2024 - 52min - 136 - Midlife Transitions: How to Lean in Rather than Resist the ‘Messy Middle’ with Chip Conley
When it comes to life stages, “midlife” often gets the short end of the stick. We speak about adolescence and retirement as vistas rich with opportunity and possibility while we joke about midlife and its related crises. However, when we adopt an affectionate perspective, opportunity and joy prove to be just as possible in this “messy middle” stage. Whether you are approaching midlife, are in the midst of it, or if midlife is in your rearview mirror, Chip’s affectionate and curious approach to this often overlooked and undervalued stage will illuminate new outlooks and possibilities for how we lean into life’s transitions.
Tue, 23 Jul 2024 - 47min - 135 - Ditch the “Shoulds”: How Feminism Improves Your Love Life with Kara Loewentheil
Research shows that gender socialization plays out most rigidly in our intimate relationships. How do we learn to separate our thoughts and actions from our socialization? In this episode, podcaster, author, and feminist coach Kara Loewentheil joins Dr. Alexandra for an expansive conversation that confronts the ways in which patriarchy influences our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.
Tue, 16 Jul 2024 - 56min - 134 - Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? (Part Two) (Re-release)
In the second part of the "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" series, Dr. Alexandra continues the conversation about Relational Ambivalence and offers listeners eight things they can do to help them move from stuckness to clarity.
Tue, 9 Jul 2024 - 45min - 133 - Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? (Part One) (Re-release)
On today's episode, Dr. Alexandra explores the complicated question that many of us have faced at some point in our lives: Should I stay in this relationship, or should I leave? If you're unsure of what the wisest path forward is, and you're hoping to proceed with compassion for your partner and yourself, this episode is for you.
Tue, 2 Jul 2024 - 38min - 132 - Mental Health and Relationships in Post-Roe America with Shefali Luthra and Dr. Pooja Lakshmin
June 24th marks the two-year anniversary of The Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. Because Reimagining Love is a show devoted to relationships and helping people cultivate relationships founded in empowerment and care, Dr. Alexandra wanted to shine a light on the pervasive and pernicious impacts of the Supreme Court’s decision on individuals, couples, and families in the United States. In fact, abortion has become virtually unavailable or significantly restricted in 21 states leaving pregnant people and their loved ones across the country facing the fears and roadblocks in their attempts to access reproductive healthcare.
Tue, 25 Jun 2024 - 56min - 131 - Modern Masculinity: From Toxic to Communicative with Dr. Ish Major
Dr. Ish Major joins Reimagining Love for a frank and honest conversation about modern masculinity and the communication gap across genders. Together, they discuss what is often missing from communication in relationships, what masculinity means in our modern era, and how truth is the antidote to toxic masculinity.
Tue, 18 Jun 2024 - 54min - 130 - Rewrite Your Story: Healing from Trauma with Dr. Frank Anderson
Dr. Frank Anderson is a world-renowned trauma expert and author who has dedicated his career to teaching therapists how to help patients work through trauma. Now, in his immensely personal memoir, To Be Loved, Dr. Frank shares his own story of overcoming trauma. In this conversation, Dr. Frank weaves his clinical knowledge with personal experiences to shine a light on how when we unburden ourselves from the past, we can stop replicating old stories and access our truest selves.
Tue, 11 Jun 2024 - 57min - 129 - Strategies for a Thriving Long-Distance Relationship (Re-release)
Long-distance relationships are no walk in the park, but that doesn't mean they can't thrive. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra tackles this topic, sharing tools and tips for couples. If you and your partner live in different time zones, are pros at FaceTime dates, and are constantly asking, "when's our next visit?", this episode is for you.
Tue, 4 Jun 2024 - 1h 04min - 128 - Money & Marriage: When One Likes to Spend and One Likes to Save with Dr. Scott Rick
What happens in a marriage when one partner likes to save money and one likes to spend it? According to Dr. Scott Rick’s research, when it comes to money, opposites do attract. Dr. Rick joins Dr. Alexandra to explain how our psychology shapes how we handle money and how the choices we make around money impact our relationships.
Tue, 28 May 2024 - 51min - 127 - The Search for Green Flags: Ditch the Dating Myths, Not the Apps with Damona Hoffman
Celebrity dating coach Damona Hoffman stops by Reimagining Love to deliver sage and practical advice for daters. With decades of experience in online dating, Damona gives Dr. Alexandra an update on the current state of the apps and explains why so many daters are feeling burnt out. Instead of looking for red flags and buying into tired dating myths, Damona believes the key is getting specific about what we want and who we are, so that we can use the apps as a tool instead of a toy.
Tue, 21 May 2024 - 1h 03min - 126 - End or Mend: Managing Difficult Family Relationships with Nedra Tawwab
[Content warning: this episode contains a brief mention of suicide. If you prefer to not listen to this moment, please skip this week's listener question segment at the end of the episode] Nedra Tawwab returns to Reimagining Love to discuss what can be our most challenging and vulnerable relationships: difficult relationships with our Families of Origin. Nedra offers empowering tools and relational strategies to help us adapt and redefine these relationships; tools to help us acknowledge when our family members have changed and accept when they cannot. Together, Nedra and Dr. Alexandra explore how this theme connects with a wide variety of topics: the tricky dynamics of in-laws, differing perspectives around the past, and how to navigate painful decisions around estrangement.
Tue, 14 May 2024 - 55min - 125 - "I Need Connection & My Partner Needs Space. Now What?"
In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra examines a central tension in all relationships: the need for space versus togetherness. If you often find yourself wanting more connection, are you needy? If you typically need more space, are you avoidant? Here, Dr. Alexandra encourages us to ditch the labels and pathology, and instead acknowledge that both space and connection are fundamental needs in an intimate relationship. To help you navigate this, Dr. Alexandra shines a light on the meaning we assign to our orientations around space and shares strategies to help you and your partner create agreements that maximize connection and minimize resentment.
Tue, 7 May 2024 - 1h 01min - 124 - Open Marriage: Lessons from Non-Monogamy & Motherhood with Molly Roden Winter
Author Molly Roden Winter joins Reimagining Love to share her story of opening up her marriage as a happily married mother and the hard-earned and profound truths she learned along the way. For Molly, her journey of non-monogamy opened her up to more: more choice and self-discovery, and feeling more than her roles as a mother and wife.
Tue, 30 Apr 2024 - 57min - 123 - The Other Significant Others: How to Reimagine Your Friendships with Rhaina Cohen
What would change if, instead of prioritizing romantic relationships, we made friendships the center of our lives? NPR's Rhaina Cohen joins Reimagining Love to explore the possibilities embedded within that question. In her new book, Rhaina invites us into the worlds of people who've organized their lives around deep friendship and, in doing so, challenge our ideas and assumptions about which relationships should be at the heart of a fulfilling life.
Tue, 23 Apr 2024 - 52min - 122 - Liberated Love: From Codependency to Relational Safety with Mark Groves & Kylie McBeath
Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Reimagining Love to share the story of their relationship—the story that inspired their new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. In this conversation, they get vulnerable about how they moved from breaking up to fostering breakthroughs; a journey they nurtured through what they call 'a sacred pause.' In the sacred pause, they identified the patterns that blocked their ability to find authentic love so that they could build a new relationship rooted in safety and interdependence.
Tue, 16 Apr 2024 - 58min - 121 - When You're the Affair Partner
Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role.
Tue, 9 Apr 2024 - 57min - 120 - When Shame Blocks Repair
In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.
Tue, 2 Apr 2024 - 52min - 119 - Conscious Uncoupling: Divorce as an Ending, Not a Failure with Katherine Woodward Thomas
Ten years after "conscious uncoupling" first entered the public lexicon, Katherine Woodward Thomas joins Reimagining Love to discuss her powerful rebrand of what's possible after a breakup or divorce. Through sharing her story and dissecting the cultural myths that cause us to view divorce as a failure, Katherine encourages us to bring a sense of generosity and intentionality to the process so that we can transform our relationships with our former partner, ourselves, and our futures.
Tue, 26 Mar 2024 - 55min - 118 - From Burnout to Balanced: Bringing Self-Compassion to Our Careers with Esther Boykin
Esther Boykin joins Dr. Alexandra for an expansive conversation around the intersection of mental health and our careers. Esther highlights the difference between self-care and self-compassion, and points us towards using self-compassion as an essential tool for improving both our personal and work lives. When we bring self-compassion to our careers, we prevent burnout by opening up a deeper connection to our common humanity. Together, Esther and Dr. Alexandra then respond to a listener who thinks her relationship is being held back by her partner's ambition.
Tue, 19 Mar 2024 - 50min - 117 - Secure Attachments: The Felt Sense of Love with Julie Menanno
What does it feel like to be in a securely attached relationship? Renowned relationship expert and therapist Julie Menanno joins Reimagining Love to illuminate what we can learn from examining secure attachments. Together with Dr. Alexandra, Julie help anxious and avoidant partners understand each other by guiding us through how different attachment styles show up in tender moments. Ultimately, Julie reminds us that the purpose of attachment work is to help us heal from our past unmet needs so that we can form secure attachments today.
Tue, 12 Mar 2024 - 46min - 116 - "Why Can't I Get Over It?"
Deceit, infidelity, and betrayal profoundly shake our inner worlds. If you're struggling to heal from relational harm, you may be endlessly ruminating on the past and wondering why you can't just let it go. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra breaks down the process of forgiveness and provides seven reasons why you can’t get over it.
Tue, 5 Mar 2024 - 55min - 115 - Trauma Bonds: Healing from Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics with Dr. Laura Copley
What are trauma bonds and how can we heal from them? Dr. Laura Copley joins the podcast to dive into the sticky dynamics of unhealthy, trauma-bonded relationships. Drawing from personal experiences and her work as a relationship trauma expert, Dr. Laura gives us insight into what she calls "the hero's journey" — a transformative path towards recognizing our origin stories, attachment wounds, and current relationship dynamics so that we can transcend our trauma and form authentic connections.
Tue, 27 Feb 2024 - 1h 02min - 114 - Love By Design: Why Couples Succeed with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh returns to Reimagining Love to share her research on the six ingredients that help love bloom into a thriving relationship. In this conversation, Dr. Sara encourages us to move beyond our culture's myth of finding a perfect mate and instead, focus on creating something special together.
Tue, 20 Feb 2024 - 59min - 113 - Are You Ready to Date Again?
Thinking about re-entering the dating scene after a breakup or loss? How can you tell if you're truly ready to get back out there? In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra provides five Relational Self-Awareness-informed indicators that you can use to help you discern whether you’re ready to date again.
Tue, 13 Feb 2024 - 58min - 112 - What Role Did You Play in Your Family of Origin?
In this in-depth solo episode, Dr. Alexandra explains the six common roles we played in our original family systems. Way before we ever were involved in a romantic relationship, we were part of a family system, and that system, for better or for worse, shaped our ideas about who we can and cannot be. Through understanding our past, we can see how these roles continue to show up in our relationships today and use that knowledge as a powerful Relational Self-Awareness tool.
Tue, 6 Feb 2024 - 1h 02min - 111 - Come Together: Cultivating Sexual Connection in Long-term Relationships with Emily Nagoski
Emily Nagoski joins Reimagining Love for a vulnerable and expansive conversation about nurturing lasting sexual connections in long-term partnerships. As an award-winning sex educator and author, Emily combines groundbreaking research, sex education, and stress education to expand our ideas about women's sexuality. In her new book, Come Together, Emily explores how long-term couples maintain sexual connection over time. Together, Emily and Dr. Alexandra uncover the importance of moving away from the "shoulds" in our sex lives and towards discovering more confidence and joy with our partners.
Tue, 30 Jan 2024 - 53min - 110 - The D Word: An Empowering Approach to Divorce with Kate Anthony
Renowned divorce coach Kate Anthony sits down with Dr. Alexandra to offer us an empowering approach to divorce that centers accountability and integrity. Sharing wisdom from her own divorce, Kate guides Dr. Alexandra through the experience, from exploring what is embedded within the question ‘should I stay or should I go?’ to all the tricky things that emerge in the aftermath of a separation: parenting decisions, the gender dynamics of divorce, and the heaps of unsolicited advice that’s coming your way.
Tue, 23 Jan 2024 - 54min - 109 - The Power of Play: Embodying Sex Positivity with Nicoletta Heidegger
Therapist and sexologist Nicoletta Heidegger joins Reimagining Love for an expansive conversation about all things sexuality. Nicoletta's approach shows the power of sex-positivity — encouraging curiosity about how everyone can learn to have better sex and, in doing so, build deeper connections to our senses, our relationships, and ourselves.
Tue, 16 Jan 2024 - 51min - 108 - Intergenerational Healing: A Holistic Approach to Breaking Cycles with Dr. Mariel Buqué
Dr. Mariel Buqué joins Reimagining Love to discuss her debut book, Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma. As an expert in intergenerational trauma,Dr. Buqué offers wisdom on what gets passed down within families: not only inheritances of pain and trauma but also precious stories and gifts. Dr. Buqué shares her journey of infusing traditional clinical frameworks with holistic healing practices, paving a path through intergenerational wounds and toward emotional liberation.
Tue, 9 Jan 2024 - 51min - 107 - Reflect With Me: Checking In With Ourselves and Our Relationships in the New Year
In this special mini-solo episode, Dr. Alexandra invites you to join her as she reflects on 2023 and moves into the new year with intentionality. Sharing her perspective on resolutions, Dr. Alexandra encourages listeners to navigate this time with self-compassion and gentleness. Then, Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through two exercises designed to reflect on the lessons and challenges of the past year and find optimism for this upcoming year.
Tue, 2 Jan 2024 - 24min - 106 - "My Partner’s Unhealthy Habit is Driving Me Crazy!" (Part Two)
Whether it's smoking, indulging in less-than-ideal meals, or not hitting the gym as often as we'd desire, it's easy to take our partner's unhealthy habits personally. If you struggle to cope with a partner's habit, Dr. Alexandra is here to help. In the second episode of this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra introduces the idea of a 'Health Habit Discrepancy' and encourages you to get curious about why you and your partner might think differently about health habits. Then, Dr. Alexandra speaks to both partners, providing guidance on how to navigate this conversation with sensitivity and understanding.
Tue, 19 Dec 2023 - 35min - 105 - "My Partner’s Unhealthy Habit is Driving Me Crazy!" (Part One)
Whether it's smoking, indulging in less-than-ideal meals, or not hitting the gym as often as we'd desire, it's easy to take our partner's unhealthy habits personally. If you struggle to cope with a partner's habit, Dr. Alexandra is here to help. In the first episode of this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra examines what might be lying beneath your concerns and offers strategies for you to explore.
Tue, 12 Dec 2023 - 41min - 104 - Guidance for the Newly Single: 5 Strategies for Stability and Healing
Today’s solo episode is geared towards the “newly single,” whether you just got out of a brief situationship or a long-term, serious partnership. Dr. Alexandra breaks down what research tells us about why breakups are so challenging, and then delivers five practical strategies to help you feel more like you in this new era.
Tue, 5 Dec 2023 - 45min - 103 - Connecting Self-Care to Community Care: Healing Together with Minaa B.
Minaa B. joins Dr. Alexandra to discuss healing from trauma and the power of connecting self-care to community care. As a licensed social worker and mental health educator, Minaa's work explores the intersection of mental health and social justice, and uses this understanding to give context to our personal struggles, from our childhoods to the systems of oppression that deeply impact our communities.
Tue, 28 Nov 2023 - 1h 07min - 102 - The Highs and Lows of Finding "Your Person": Bringing a Sense of Humor to Dating with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the popular podcast Dateable, join Dr. Alexandra for a fun, yet insightful, conversation about all things dating. Together, they explore our rapidly changing dating culture and tackle three sticky relationship situations.
Tue, 21 Nov 2023 - 51min - 101 - 100th Episode: Answering Your Questions!
Today's show is the 100th episode of Reimagining Love! Dr. Alexandra celebrates this milestone by answering several great listener questions: one from a woman in her 20s who is grappling with stability vs adventure in her love life; one about ambition differences between two partners; and one from a man desiring more affection from his partner. Take a listen to hear from Dr. Alexandra on all of these great questions!
Tue, 14 Nov 2023 - 1h 04min - 100 - Family Dynamics: How to Maintain Your Voice and Your Connection with Your Family of Origin with Julia Samuel
Dr. Alexandra is joined by therapist and author Julia Samuel for a wide-spanning conversation about family systems, intergenerational healing, grief, and money.
Tue, 7 Nov 2023 - 53min - 99 - Kids & Digital Wellness: Parenting in the Age of Screens with Dr. Devorah Heitner
Dr. Devorah Heitner, an author and digital wellness expert, joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about parenting, technology, and the internet. As our world become more and more complex for kids of all ages, Dr. Heitner empowers parents to have conversations with their kids at all ages and stages, model healthy tech usage, and more.
Tue, 31 Oct 2023 - 52min - 98 - Desire Differences: What to Do When You and Your Partner Have Mismatched Libidos with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy & Dr. Jennifer Vencill
If you and your partner have a desire difference between you, you're not alone. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra is joined by guests Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy and Dr. Jennifer Vencill for an honest and compassionate conversation about mismatched libidos and how partners can navigate this challenge as a team.
Tue, 24 Oct 2023 - 1h 05min - 97 - Love, Acceptance, & Growth: The Insights We Glean from Couples Therapy with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
Dr. Alexandra is joined by Dr. Tracy Dalgleish for a rich discussion about both of their new books, as well as the growth potential for couples when they engage in therapy and Relational Self-awareness.
Tue, 17 Oct 2023 - 59min - 96 - My 9 Favorite Resentment-Busting Strategies
Resentment is one of the most common yet debilitating emotional states we can find ourselves stuck in. In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra normalizes the feeling of resentment and offers nine strategies that can help us get unstuck and begin to honor our own feelings and offer compassion to the people we love.
Tue, 10 Oct 2023 - 59min - 95 - Navigating Open Relationships: How to Create Agreements that Foster Security and Growth with Jessica Fern & David Cooley
[CW: this episode contains mentions of suicidal ideation.] Intentional boundaries and thoughtful agreements help us ensure that our intimate partnerships are vehicles for growth, mutual support, and healing, especially for individuals and couples who are looking to create relationship agreements beyond monogamy to deepen their understanding of relationship dynamics. Today Dr. Alexandra is joined by Jessica Fern and David Cooley. They are life partners, coparents, and coauthors of the new book Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. In this rich and challenging episode, you will learn about loving with greater care and awareness, whether you are someone who practices monogamy or ethical nonmonogamy.
Tue, 3 Oct 2023 - 55min - 94 - Help! My Kids Don't Want Me to Date!
Blending families is messy. There are no hard and fast rules. Today's solo episode is devoted to one listener's question about dating and motherhood. The question's theme of intentionality, about modeling relationships with the kids and her healing journey is far from an isolated experience. There will be nuggets in this episode to savor and work with for separate conversations between the ex, the boyfriend, and the kids.
Tue, 26 Sep 2023 - 55min - 93 - If They Wanted To, They Would
A phrase we've been hearing a lot lately, especially in the dating world, and I’m sure you have as well is “If they wanted to, they would.” In today's episode, Dr Solomon will look at the kinds of fears and beliefs that lead people to stick the “if they wanted to they would” label on a relationship dynamic. You'll also lean into what might be happening in a dynamic that would lead you to declare “if they wanted to, they would” and what else you might do besides stick this label on and walk away.
Tue, 19 Sep 2023 - 1h 03min - 92 - Let's Talk About "Sleep Divorces"
We generally assume that long-term partners sleep in the same bed together. But for some couples, sleep issues or other concerns make it hard for two people to get a good night's rest. "Sleep divorces" are more common than you might think, but the stigma about them remains. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra shares tips for how to discuss sleeping arrangements with your partner.
Tue, 12 Sep 2023 - 43min - 91 - Unlocking Pleasure: How Imagination Can Empower and Reignite Us with Gina Gutierrez
Gina Gutierrez, co-founder of the audio platform Dipsea, joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about sexuality, imagination, and empowerment. They discuss how audio erotica can help people— particularly women—reconnect with their pleasure and create a safe space for exploration with storytelling.
Tue, 5 Sep 2023 - 50min - 90 - Navigating Life Transitions As a Couple: A Conversation With My Husband, Todd
Life transitions are inevitable. For couples and families, these chapters offer unique challenges and opportunities. This fall, Dr. Alexandra and her husband, Todd, are experiencing a major change of their own, as they launch their youngest off to college and become "empty-nesters." They sat down together in the studio for a candid conversation about what this time is bringing up for them and how they plan to process and celebrate the beginning of this new chapter together.
Tue, 29 Aug 2023 - 1h 05min - 89 - I Love Them, But I'm Not In Love With Them (Re-release)
Has someone every said this phrase to you? Have you ever said it to someone else? In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Alexandra explores why the statement "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" is so complicated and what might actually be lying beneath these words in the context of an intimate relationship.
Tue, 22 Aug 2023 - 46min - 88 - Inviting a Reluctant Partner into Relationship Work (Re-release)
Working to improve your relationship is hard enough, and when your partner is resistant to the idea of reflecting together, it can feel like you're doomed. In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Alexandra explores this common conundrum and shares reminders for the enthusiastic partner who is ready to dive into Relational Self-Awareness work, as well as for the partner who may be feeling more reluctant for a number of reasons.
Tue, 1 Aug 2023 - 48min - 87 - Finding Your People: Navigating Friendships in Adulthood with Lane Moore
Lane Moore, the Author of "You Will Find Your People," joins Dr. Alexandra for a discussion about the joys and heartbreaks of friendship. Lane shares her impetus to write this thoughtful book, and the two discuss why some people might struggle more with friendship due to their upbringing or past experiences, and how they can create a community of people they love as adults.
Tue, 25 Jul 2023 - 57min - 86 - Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?
When a relationship comes to a close, how do we decide for ourselves what kind of connection, if any, should remain between us and our former partner? In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores the topic of friendship with exes and shares some helpful musings and questions for anyone who is hoping to gain clarity about what might serve them and their former partner best in this new uncharted chapter.
Tue, 18 Jul 2023 - 53min - 85 - Strategies for a Thriving Long-Distance Relationship
Long-distance relationships are no walk in the park, but that doesn't mean they can't thrive. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra tackles this topic, sharing tools and tips for couples. If you and your partner live in different time zones, are pros at FaceTime dates, and are constantly asking, "when's our next visit?", this episode is for you.
Tue, 11 Jul 2023 - 1h 03min - 84 - Healing from Collective Trauma: Marking the Anniversary of the Highland Park Shooting with Audrey Grunst
Dr. Alexandra sits down with Audrey Grunst, a therapist and crisis response expert, to honor the memory of the victims and survivors of the Highland Park Shooting, and to paint a picture of the circles of impact that devastating tragedies such as this one have on communities. Content warning: this episode contains discussions about gun violence, mass shootings, trauma, and recovery. If you're looking for ways to take action, please refer to the resources below as places to start.
Tue, 4 Jul 2023 - 56min - 83 - Embracing the Bittersweet: The Beauty of Longing and Impermanence with Susan Cain
Susan Cain, author of the world-renowned bestsellers "Bittersweet" and "Quiet," joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about how to honor the poignancy found in the transitional periods of our lives, whether we're launching our kids off into the world, grieving the end of a relationship, or growing old. They also discuss the ways in which the bittersweet impacts and enhances our intimate relationships.
Tue, 27 Jun 2023 - 52min - 82 - Breaking Patterns & Moving Forward: The Science of Stuck with Britt Frank
Britt Frank joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about "stuckness" in all its forms. We're all familiar with this feeling in some way or another, and in this episode, Britt offers listeners tools and takeaways to confront stuckness head on, so that we can face ourselves with honesty and learn the skills to carve healthier paths for ourselves in the future.
Tue, 20 Jun 2023 - 54min - 81 - How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Tools for Progress & Peace with Alicia Muñoz
Cycles of rumination and overthinking can be hard to break free from, and they can negatively impact us and our relationships. In this episode, therapist Alicia Muñoz joins Dr. Alexandra to address this common thought pattern and shares tools for how to slow down and release ourselves from this headspace.
Tue, 13 Jun 2023 - 57min - 80 - Cultivating Contemplation: How Wonder Helps us Heal with Cole Arthur Riley
Dr. Alexandra is joined by the visionary writer and poet Cole Arthur Riley on this episode. They discuss Cole's book, "This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us," and explore topics of wonder, contemplation, disability, childhood, and much more.
Tue, 6 Jun 2023 - 44min - 79 - Modern Family Values: How to Be the Parents We Want to Be in a Busy World with Dr Yael Schonbrun
Dr. Alexandra is joined by psychologist and author Dr. Yael Schonbrun for a hopeful and inspiring conversation about working parenthood. They discuss the challenges of balancing family and work life as well as strategies to help busy parents structure their lives in a way that works for their family and aligns with their values.
Tue, 30 May 2023 - 54min - 78 - Getting Real About Pleasure: Reclaiming Desire with Dr Laurie Mintz
Dr. Laurie Mintz joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about all things pleasure, from the orgasm gap to sexual myths to vibrators, offering inspiration and encouragement to both individuals and couples as they seek to reignite and reconnect with their desire and sexual identity.
Tue, 23 May 2023 - 51min - 77 - How to Bring Relational Self-Awareness to a First Date
Whether you've been on dozens of first dates or are brand new to the experience, this episode will provide tools and tips to help you approach the daunting and exciting task of meeting someone new with Relational Self-Awareness.
Tue, 16 May 2023 - 49min - 76 - 12 Strategies for Swiping with Relational Self-Awareness
In this episode, Dr. Alexandra offers 12 practical strategies for navigating dating apps with self-compassion and success. These strategies will help you tune into the emotions that are coming up inside you as you swipe so you can bring more Relational Self-Awareness to your dating journey.
Tue, 9 May 2023 - 40min - 75 - Why You're Frustrated with Dating Apps
Feeling burnt out and frustrated with dating apps? You're not alone. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra unpacks why so many people feel this way, offering explanation and validation for daters who are feeling stuck and disillusioned. Tune in next week to hear Dr. Alexandra's 12 Relational Self-Awareness strategies for using dating apps.
Tue, 2 May 2023 - 42min - 74 - Finding Yourself Again: The Truth About Codependency with Melody Beattie
Dr. Alexandra is joined by Melody Beattie, a legendary self-help author. A revised edition of Melody's 1986 book "Codependent No More" was recently published, and she and Dr. Alexandra discuss the topics it delves into and answer a listener question about losing oneself in relationships.
Tue, 25 Apr 2023 - 51min - 73 - Identifying Patterns & Getting Curious: Dating Mindfully with Jordana Abraham & Dr. Naomi Bernstein
Dr. Alexandra is joined by sisters and co-hosts of the "Oversharing" podcast, Jordana Abraham and Dr. Naomi Bernstein. They have a candid conversation about modern dating, gender scripts, and practical tools for how to stay centered and present on a date.
Tue, 18 Apr 2023 - 58min - 72 - "I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part Two)
If you are thinking about getting back together with an ex, there's a lot to consider. In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through 12 Relational Self-Awareness questions that will help them gain clarity about their situation and create version 2.0 of their relationship with confidence, if they make the choice to reconcile with their former partner. Find the link below to listen to Part I of this series if you missed it.
Tue, 11 Apr 2023 - 47min - 71 - "I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part One)
If you are thinking about getting back together with an ex, there's a lot to consider. In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through 12 Relational Self-Awareness questions that will help them gain clarity about their situation and create version 2.0 of their relationship with confidence, if they make the choice to reconcile with their former partner. In next week's episode, Dr. Alexandra will share an accompanying worksheet for this series.
Tue, 4 Apr 2023 - 44min - 70 - Gender, Family, & the Home: Why "Fair Play" Helps Our Relationships Thrive with Eve Rodsky
Guest Eve Rodsky is the author of the bestselling book "Fair Play," a gamified life-management system that helps partners rebalance their domestic workload and reimagine their relationship. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra and Eve discuss the problem of invisible domestic labor, especially for women and mothers, and explore how we can reimagine family life to create a more equitable and healthy future for all.
Tue, 28 Mar 2023 - 51min - 69 - The Neuroscience of Pleasure: Why Good Sex Matters with Dr. Nan Wise
Dr. Nan Wise, a neuroscientist researcher and certified sex therapist, joins Dr. Alexandra for a discussion about the importance of prioritizing healthy pleasure. Dr. Nan shares some of the most fascinating findings from her team's research, especially pertaining to female pleasure.
Tue, 21 Mar 2023 - 55min - 68 - Dealing with Breakup Regret
In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores common feelings that can follow a breakup, including regret, grief, and loneliness, even for the partner who initiated the breakup. She explains where these emotions come from and what they can signal to us about our healing journey ahead.
Tue, 14 Mar 2023 - 47min - 67 - How to Get Closure After a Breakup
The end of a relationship can feel disorienting and earth-shattering, so it's only natural for us to yearn for the ever-elusive feeling of "closure." In this episode, Dr. Alexandra posits that we often look for closure in the wrong places after a breakup, and she offers an empowering reframe for anyone who's grieving the end of a partnership.
Tue, 7 Mar 2023 - 50min - 66 - Building a Home Within Ourselves: From Surviving to Thriving with Tara Schuster
Dr. Alexandra's guest on this episode is Tara Schuster, an accomplished entertainment executive turned mental health advocate and best-selling author. In this touching conversation, Tara shares her inspiration for her new book, Glow in the F*cking Dark, and how she has lived the mission of building a nurturing home within herself, even when life presents challenges.
Tue, 28 Feb 2023 - 57min - 65 - Breaking Family Patterns & Healing Wounds: The Origins of You with Vienna Pharaon
Vienna Pharaon returns to Reimagining Love for a profound conversation about her new book, which focuses on the impacts of our family of origin and how we can understand our past to improve our relationships in the present.
Tue, 21 Feb 2023 - 54min - 64 - "Right Person, Wrong Time"
The timing of how things play out in our lives is often out of our control. How do we decide whether to pursue a budding relationship, even when "the time isn't right," or whether to accept circumstances and let things go? Dr. Alexandra discusses all of this in more in this episode.
Tue, 14 Feb 2023 - 52min - 63 - Is Your "Situationship" Working?
Casual and/or circumstantial relationships can be fun, but they also pose unique challenges and often bring up complex emotions. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra shares her thoughts on "situationships" and provides prompts and questions to assess whether your particular relationship is continuing to be enriching, respectful, and clear for both partners—or whether it may be time to move on.
Tue, 7 Feb 2023 - 44min - 62 - Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness: The Connection Between Thriving Relationships and A Fulfilling Life with Dr. Marc Schulz
Dr. Marc Schulz, co-author of the book "The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness" joins Dr. Alexandra for a fascinating overview of the longitudinal research that he and his colleague Dr. Robert Waldinger synthesized in their new book. Dr. Schulz discusses some of the biggest takeaways from this study with Dr. Alexandra, including hopeful and exciting insights about the connection between thriving relationships and a fulfilling life.
Tue, 31 Jan 2023 - 52min - 61 - Masculinity & Vulnerability: How Men's Healing Helps All of Us with Connor Beaton
Dr. Alexandra's guest on this episode is Connor Beaton, a coach, speaker, and author of the new book "Men's Work." Their conversation focuses on men’s work and healing and touches on universally relevant topics including breaking free from shame and self-isolation, owning our emotions, and connecting with a kind of inner-strength that comes from courage and humility, rather than domination.
Tue, 24 Jan 2023 - 53min - 60 - Evolving Together: Updating Our Relationships with Our Parents with Daniel Maté
Daniel Maté joins Dr. Alexandra for a discussion centering on parent-child relationships, with a focus on how to cultivate and update this relationship once both parties are adults. They discuss the "Hello Again" workshops that Daniel and his father, Gabor Maté, facilitate for people to work on this specific relationship, and explore the challenges and possibilities of the parent-child bond.
Tue, 17 Jan 2023 - 1h 27min - 59 - People-Pleasing vs. Brutal Honesty: When & How to Share Feedback with Your Partner
Open communication is a key component of a healthy intimate partnership. But discerning what to share with our partner, as well as when and how to share it, is a common challenge. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra teases out this issue, offering ideas for how we can be both candid AND compassionate towards those we love.
Tue, 10 Jan 2023 - 54min - 58 - When Having "No Filter" Hurts A Relationship
Open communication is a key component of a healthy intimate partnership. But discerning what to share with our partner, as well as when and how to share it, is a common challenge. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra teases out this issue, offering ideas for how we can be both candid AND compassionate towards those we love.
Tue, 3 Jan 2023 - 38min - 57 - Moving Through Our Emotions: Cultivating Joy & Resilience with Erica Hornthal
Dance movement therapist Erica Hornthal joins Dr. Alexandra for an enriching conversation about how movement and dance can have a transformative positive impact on our mental health. They also answer a listener question about regulating one's emotions during difficult conversations with a partner.
Tue, 13 Dec 2022 - 51min - 56 - Is Work Stress Taking a Toll on Your Relationship?
Stressing about our jobs is inevitable, and it can take a real toll on our intimate partnerships. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores what happens when we take work home with us, and how it may create challenging dynamics with those we love. She provides tools and strategies to manage work stress in healthier ways, have empathetic conversations with our partners, and foster compassion for ourselves.
Tue, 6 Dec 2022 - 57min - 55 - Love Stories: My Best Friend Ali
Dr. Alexandra sits down with her lifelong best friend, Ali, for a heartfelt conversation about their four decades of friendship and everything they've learned about each other and themselves along the way.
Tue, 29 Nov 2022 - 46min - 54 - We All Deserve Support: Making Therapy Accessible & Healing from Heartbreak with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, founder & CEO of Therapy for Black Girls, joins Dr. Alexandra to discuss her mission to make mental health topics more relevant and accessible for Black women. They also discuss what to look for in a new therapist, the personal growth that comes from breakups and new beginnings, and a listener question from a single mom who's struggling with FOMO.
Tue, 22 Nov 2022 - 48min - 53 - The Sweetness of Self-Care: Baking by Feel with Becca Rea-Tucker
Becca Rea-Tucker is a cookbook author and Instagram sensation who bakes with a purpose, and she joins Dr. Alexandra for a sweet discussion about her new cookbook, Baking by Feel, and her cakes with feminist messages that inspire people to use their voice.
Tue, 15 Nov 2022 - 40min - 52 - Caring For Ourselves & Each Other: How We Heal with Alex Elle
Dr. Alexandra is joined by Alex Elle, author of the new book "How We Heal." They discuss healing through personal writing, how we can re-parent ourselves, and how we can build a life full of individual and relational growth amidst challenges and change.
Tue, 8 Nov 2022 - 50min - 51 - Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin
Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through an exploration of their "Original Love Classroom"—the family system they grew up in—and explains why the roles we were cast in as children impact the way we relate to those we love in the present.
Tue, 1 Nov 2022 - 1h 06min - 50 - Love Stories: Building a Life Together with Elise & Suz
In this Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra sits down with Elise & Suz, a young and recently married couple, for a thoughtful conversation about queerness, modern marriage, and building a life together. Elise & Suz share the story of how they met, their relationships with their own queerness and identity, and how they reimagined traditions for their wedding. They also reflect on some of the challenges, and the joys, of the post-marriage chapter.
Tue, 25 Oct 2022 - 54min - 49 - Getting Present: Tuning Into Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride
Dr. Hillary McBride joins Dr. Alexandra to discuss her work on embodiment and presence. They talk about why and how to listen to what your body is telling you, and Dr. Hillary guides listeners through a body meditation that can help you come back to the present moment and feel more at ease.
Tue, 18 Oct 2022 - 49min - 48 - "I Love My Partner, But Their Family is Toxic!" (Part Two)
In-law dynamics are complicated. What do you do when your partner's family is particularly challenging, or you're the one in the relationship with the family drama? Dr. Alexandra addresses all of this and more in today's episode.
Tue, 11 Oct 2022 - 43min - 47 - "I Love My Partner, But Their Family is Toxic!" (Part One)
In-law dynamics are complicated. What do you do when your partner's family is particularly challenging, or you're the one in the relationship with the family drama? Dr. Alexandra addresses all of this and more in today's episode.
Tue, 4 Oct 2022 - 44min - 46 - Love Stories: Leading with Purpose with Julie Lythcott-Haims
Julie Lythcott-Haims, bestselling author of the books "How to Raise an Adult," "Real American," and "Your Turn: How to Be an Adult," joins Dr. Alexandra on the show to discuss her career, groundbreaking writing, and the challenges she's decided to take on along the way. Listen to feel inspired by Julie and her mission to bring attention to the issues that matter most.
Tue, 27 Sep 2022 - 43min - 45 - How to Love Well: The Little Things that Change Everything with Drs. John & Julie Gottman
Today's episode features two legends from the fields of couples therapy and relationship science: Dr John Gottman, and Dr. Julie Gottman. They sit down with Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about their groundbreaking research and careers, as well as their own relationship with one another, and share simple and actionable steps you can use today to deepen connection in your long-term partnership.
Tue, 20 Sep 2022 - 51min - 44 - Coming Home to Ourselves: The Path to Thriving with Dr. Thema Bryant
Dr. Thema Bryant, president-elect of the American Psychological Association, joins Dr. Alexandra for a rich conversation about how we can heal, grow, and thrive, both on the individual and community level. They also answer a listener question about how and when to speak up in difficult family arguments about religious beliefs.
Tue, 13 Sep 2022 - 48min
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