Beth & Meg &...

It's been awhile, folks, and we have missed you! Now we have something new and exciting to share with you!

This week we talk Valentine's tragedies, Alabama stereotypes, and why we would never be able to climb the corporate ladder in Japan. Also, Bethany has some very strong feelings about Toto. #it'sallgravybaby

This week we talk about our second annual jaunt to New Orleans (the food, THE FOOD!!! BUTTER LOVE, BABY!), haunting Shane's man-crush, and the less-drama-than-last-year's Academy Awards ceremony. #shalalalalalalows

This week we discuss who would play us in the live action version of our lives, the nuances between invisibility and invincibility, and what the best part of being Superman would be. And then things get dark...

It's the new year and it is time to discuss the tyranny of children's birthday parties, what movies we saw over the holiday break, and why Theodore Roosevelt was right about carrying a big stick. Also, what book we would be sworn into Congress with, our new favorite media figure, and really poorly thought out videos that hit the internet this week. And then we fix immigration. Just kidding.

This week we talk about how we are just like Aaron Sorkin, the worst bridezilla EVER, and the party Meg wants to throw that Bethany will never attend. Also why a couple of nuns need a Whoopie intervention, Meg's beef with Payless Shoe Source, and why we could all use a cheesy Gordita crunch right about now.

It's been a few weeks but we are back in business, reliving our lovely Thanksgiving celebration, gearing up for the craziness of Christmas, and lamenting the fact that people think we are so cool (snort, snort!). Also, what the state of Utah needs learn from Megan, why we are all speciests, and our offer to the Academy Awards. Oh, and Shane makes an unexpected appearance (tee-tee!)! #learntosayno #restingchurchface #funeralpotatoes #minionoftheantichrist #amusebouche

Today we talk about beloved children's television characters we can't stand, how to lose our vote, and why no one told you life was gonna be this way. Also where we want to spend our eternal slumber, how we flaunt our bling, and our requirements to sail on Titanic 2. Finally, why Nebraska is the best state ever.  And, by the way, the election is still not over in Arizona. #danieltiger #breakingnews #friends #flauntmywealth #drzhivago #codegrandma #wheredoyouspreadthem #titanic2 #BillyZane #cremebruleepotatoes

This week we talk about why physics can really kill a Halloween costume,  the tyranny of neighborhood gifts, and what Megan should expect at Bethany's Thanksgiving table. Then we talk movies that make our toes CURL! #halloween #we'renumber2 #clot #nevermore #driveyomommaloco #whipitgood #hungryman #salisburysteak #booyahbobcats 

This week we discuss Halloween Grinches, the expiration date on zeitgeist, and why people live in Florida. Also, the cult of Disney, bad tattoos, dicey weather coverage. #itsbetterthanCuba #JemandtheHolograms #Disneyland #PrincessBenjamin

This week we talk about political figures who are CLEARLY stalking us, movies you should never rewatch, and our guide on how to win a game show while trying to maintain bladder control.  #FlopGun #TopThat #TheOffice #potentpotables #flatearth

So it's the episode where we finally show how badly we missed the STEM education boat. We reveal the results of our 23andMe results and delve into the dark recesses of our DNA in a way that would make Watson and Crick cry. Also Megan makes a startling discovery about her own chromosomes that will shake you to the core. With laughter. #23andMe

With our long break away, it's been awhile since we've discussed books and movies and we need to remedy this. Before that, though, we talk Serena, the most inappropriate Halloween costume EVER, and why we want to hang with Ryan Reynolds and not Mark Wahlberg. #fifthdimensionofhell #marathonnotasprint #FunkyBunch #checkyourprivelage #WolfHall #HillbillyElegy #GuernseyLiteraryandPotatoPeelSociety #TattooistofAuschwitz

You thought you were rid of us but we are like a bad penny and past indiscretions on Facebook - we always turn up.  To get back into the swing of things we talk Supreme Court nominations, the passing of John McCain, and why NPR owes the ninja community a BIG apology. Also, hear the breakdown of what we really want in a man (bon chicka wow wow). Never has spacial awareness and cord wrapping been so sexy...  And apologies, Bethany meant Merrick Garland and not Neal Gorsuch. AMATEUR!#botulismisourjam  #bravenewworld #Hadleys #Tillamook #thanksObama #kindergartenkills #myprivatehell #throwthevellum

It's been awhile but we are back, baby! We have so much to catch up on including current events so incredible they might even be considered UN-credible, Bethany and her beef with Sam Worthington, and the newest addition to the Royal Family. Also the most quotable movies, a delicious food that needs a new name, and how the USA has a bone to pick with UNESCO.  #glassify #avengersassemble #mendnets #jamfirst #teamJustin #teamEmmanuel #webroughtfrysauce #dadjeans #dothebustle #takethephysicalchallenge 

The Winter Olympics are done and it is time to hash it all out and see if they have inspired us to get on that treadmill gathering dust in the corner (yeah, no). The highs, the lows, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, it was all there in South Korea for us to behold. Also, a discussion on school shootings in America.#bigmoney #pyeongchang2018 #USOC #USCurling #leanin

This week we have a few suggestions for the Super Bowl halftime that involves less camouflage and a different JT, bemoan Facebook constantly reminding us of our age, and get hung up on which one of Anne Hathaway's princess role's Bethany is thinking of. We discuss the best songs to sing in the car, the greatest comedic movie of all time, and the passing of one of the greatest comedic television actors of the '90s. Finally we discuss the new love of our lives, the beautiful and magical city of New Orleans. #control #missjacksonifyourenasty #mcconaugheynow #johnmahoney #squarespace  #Tishismyspiritanimal #standtightstandstrong#cafebeignet #tujagues #shaya #italianbarrel #courtoftwosisters #restaurantaugust #snugharborjazzbistro #preservationhalljazzband  #columbiahouse #Godwasinthatjazzhall #nationalworldwar2museum #Frenchquarterphantoms #oakalleyplantation #whitneyplantation #faulknerhousebooks #neworleans #nola #mardigras

SPOILER ALERT!!! While a little less relevant than this would have been a few weeks ago, we are here to discuss the latest installment of Star Wars, "The Last Jedi". Little brother Derek joins us on our annual jaunt through the world of lightsabers, impossible odds, and blatant product placement.  #OJinspace #whoisRey #MrsWiggins #beerpong  #mustbeinProvo #ReyRodhamRen #JediMindTrick #teenpregnancy  #TheLastJedi

It's 2018, y'all, and we go straight up controversial as we discuss snarky Christmas decor judging, why College Football needs to get its act together, and how Medieval Times is eschewing historical accuracy ("WENCH, BRING ME A FLAGON OF DIET PEPSI!") for girl power. Also, we ask for prayers for a man who may quickly regret his invitation to hang out with us, discuss which HOA might want to tighten up some of its regulations, and  realize for how many reasons we could be admitted to an insane asylum... in West Virginia... in the 1860s... #fahrenheitforthewin #Oprah2020 #yougetataxbreakandyougetataxbreak #UCF #slowclap #valentinesdayatmedievaltimes #winchestercathedral #prayersforShane #mahalo #12thman #fireforeffect #dontbeawoman

Ho ho ho (WHAT'D YOU CALL US?!?!), and Merry, Happy, whatever it is you do or do not celebrate this time of year. We discuss a few things that appear on either Santa's naughty or nice list - things such as surgery-inducing tacos, the ethics of Amazon Prime,  and the tyranny of teacher gifts. Also, why Bethany is afraid to open her gift from her daughter, why microphones should have a restraining order against Matt Damon, and why Broadway is causing us to lose sleep. Lastly, when movie franchises break up their leads, when five year olds take the law into their own hands, why anyone chooses to be a confederate in Civil War reenactments, and crazy Christmas music. #chicostacos #amazonprime #knowyourplace #netneutrality #theoffice #netflix #kingkong #bradpitt #loveneverdiesunlessweneedasequel #thegrinch #minihandcuffs #phasersonbuckshot #foodismylovelanguage 

Apparently we've ruffled some feathers, but what else is new? This week we prove how cultured we are as we discuss our literary peers and Megan shows off her command of useless languages. We clue you in on the rules of Mormon cussing, why for her safety Bethany should save all the bubble wrap she is getting from Amazon, and what Kiwi(?) motorcycle-riding 80's heartthrob we have spent far too much time imitating.  Also, we discover our Dad's spirit animal.  #simpatico #rossandrachel #nilesanddaphne #stevegoodenburg #Lobo #spuritsforthespurits #secretsanda #highclassfilth #wordswithfriends #playingwiththeboys #newfoundland #IwanttoKABOOMit #JesusDonttakethewheel #bolognabuns #madebymikey #trulyoutrageous #warmkoolaid #depechemode #gnr #anncurry #loboslaw #23andme #comeonLapland #Elijahspromise  

A very Happy THANKSGIVING to all of you! If you are looking for topics to fight over with your crazy relatives whilst picking at a wishbone - look no further! We talk clashes of idiot titans, what first base really means, and imagine what kind of food truck Will Smith would roll up in.  Also, unfortunate last names, unfortunate (?) mascot names, and unfortunate costume choices. And we teach you the exact formula for getting out of legal trouble without the need to pay for an attorney. Trust us, it's a gas. #eattrumpsgold #shadowsandcontours #chefjeff #gofightingphoenixes #themichelobofchampagnes #strangerthings2 #feedmeggie #kegelit #pleadthefifth #silentbutviolent #theforceisstrongwiththisone #runfortheborder #squeezethecheese #leatherseats

It's been awhile but we're back, baby! If you've been missing conversations about medieval wildcats, intercontinental musical theater challenges, and casting changes at "The Phantom of the Opera" you are in luck. We talk efficiency vs. romance, how Michael Flatley should be known as the Lord of the Gridiron, and why 90's flashes in the pan might want to avoid Montreal.  #macbeth #calahanautoparts #chapter7 #idliketothanktheacademy #takemetothegoodpart #condorman #thisisunseemly #cubangoddess

Yes, it appears we are victims of our own success as we ponder the wisdom of Marilyn Monroe with regards to Harvey Weinstein, debate the singular/plural state of the word pant(s), and weep over inappropriate Halloween costumes. Listen as we describe Megan's hidden talent, rail against kids these days, and finish by fully embracing our old lady cards by shaking our canes against the government. #comebackShane #namenames #projectrunway #niblets #getponed #lunchladyland #loveisglutenfree #shutitdown #brownielovin #allyouneedisloveandoatmealandraisins #strangerthings  #ustoo

We are in full on 'jama day mood, since nothing in the world seems to be able to convince us to put on pants right now. Yes, we talk some of the tough stuff of this week, but then we get onto topics that make us happy to be members of the human race. Hear us talk about the greatest first date story of all time, why the Department of Homeland Security has it's eye on Megan's house, and her channelling of Dr. Ian Malcom in a way even Goldblum can't achieve.  We tell the secret to the best halloween ever, how movies change when you get a mortgage, and pop culture that will depress the heck out of you. #cavemarket #LVStrong #rocketmanbooyah #glibbest #NFL #postsecret #firstamendment #willandgrace #number2earlytotell #ladyofthelake #sciencewins #jurassicpark #getoveryourselfbelle #marytoddshecray #kohls

We know, we know, we've been gone a long time, but we are back and stronger than ever! Yes, we say goodbye to summer and one of us gets to say hello to autumn. We discover why Canadians are just a happier people, why Taylor Swift is not, and why everyone at Wal-mart should be afraid... very afraid.  Also, why you should be concerned if an elderly Scotsman asks if you'd like to see his haggis, why we are sick of Kate Middleton, and how to start off your marriage with a RIDICULOUS amount of pressure. Lastly, we discuss how teeth capping makes the multi-million dollar man and dream of the day when the all female version of "Delta Force" becomes a reality. #flintandsteel #sweaterweather #itsadryheat #fatcorner #teammaple #lifegoal #kimandkanyearetherationalones #igottarapaboutit #popgoesmyheart #amazonprimethatmess  #everydayimshuffling #ROI #equallyyoked #worksmartnothard #vivelefrance #GBBO #findyourownthingMako #tomcruisesteeth #literally #mermanpop 

Are Cactus Coolers as good as we remember them? How about Pizzeria chips? These are the questions that plague as us as discuss meeting your 90's food heroes. Also, the indescribable joy of a book order form, why you might want to hire us for your next soiree, and why the upcoming eclipse will be the most patriotic ever. Also, bad marketing stunts, why we won't be moving to San Francisco anytime soon, and the real reason  Megan beat breast cancer. #pepperidgefarm #andyserkisneedsanOscar #somethingisrotteninthestateofDenmark #doucheydane #lifetimehallpass #warfortheplanetoftheapes #dunkirk

Listen as we regale you with tales of the odor-rific vacation from which we just returned (Scentsy, have we got an idea for you!), discuss why we now want to see Ryan Lochte race a shark, and mull over a career opportunity we had never before considered. Also, disappointing cameos, when wedding dances almost kill, and then discuss the classic book and film The Outsiders. SPOILERS AHEAD!!! #bearlake #WEWANTLOCHTE #poundofflesh #sallystrutherstaughtmetv/vcrrepair #theoutsiders #squatchwatch #getthefunkoff  #staygold

Happy Independence Week! This week we talk serious lapses in history studies, the dark underbelly of our nation's retirement villages (looks like Tim Riggins has a long career ahead of him), and search desperately for some moral high ground. Then we go "Beautiful Mind" on TV conspiracy theories before finally dissecting one of the greatest movies we had taped on VHS when we were kids - TEEN WOLF!

#classof94 #theslowandthefurious #racingforpapes #bullrunanddone #TRUUUUMP #breakingnews #itsEnricoPalazzo #ImaPoopBoof #keezewheeze  #bringthecoolfactorto11 #teenwolf #michaeljfox

If you are looking for an in-depth and mature discussion regarding world events, you are going to be HIGHLY disappointed this week as we descend into madness whilst discussing whether Han Solo will be more like Han No-Go, what career advice we are qualified to give Tom Cruise, and the job that even Mrs Doubtfire might balk at. Most importantly, rise up and join us as we rebel against lifestyle blogs to create a movement that will change the world. Or won't. Depends on if we feel like showering today or not. #gotothestage #jestersdead #greathonk #gotoOregon #wearepartoftheproblem #thepooplifestyle #joiedesweatpants #allthesauces #chickfila #littledebbie #poundtryst #joinus #pearshapedscheme #empathizers #boinkit #thetruthisoutthere #outlander #hecanjacobitemeanytime

May the Lord open our mouths as we discuss the phenomenon of Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale" and decide which color dress we would be assigned. Before we do that, though, we talk the upcoming even golder (shut up about our grammar) era of television which, funnily enough, resembles a lot of old television, what you will not see us demonstrate in a Facebook Live session,  and the true meaning of the Fourth of July. #beachywaves #stepintime #MaryPoppins #400Whatever #deppedout #thehandmaidstale #margaretatwood #dontevencallmeJoe #wearetheSugarbakersisters #itsallaboutthemoney #HAPPYBIRTHDAYSHANE

This week we discuss the fact that Megan is plus-sized (in an iPhone, that is), what showing of Wonder Woman Frederick Douglass would attend, and the anatomic hurdles of the male romper. Also, when it's good to mine the 80s/90s for remakes and when IT IS NOT, why we are now concerned for la Republique Francaise, and why we will now require a waiver should we ever enter the dating pool again. Lastly, we play a round of Loaded Questions where you get to see just how nerdy Bethany can be.  #keepBabyinthecorner #orchardpeach #wehaveaDickies #WeAllLose #justsingthedangsong

We are back for the second half of our look at the three act play that is M. Night Shyalaman's career. In this episode we discuss the lean years and what we hope is the triumphant return of one of the true mavericks in Hollywood. We talk about how a Hemsworth brother or two might have saved Paul Giamatti from having to clean the pool as much, who'd Simon want to be stuck in space with (his pressure suit wouldn't impress her much), and our shared love of the great Shakespearean, John Leguizamo. Also, the Asian-ness of Emma Stone, when the MIB when to space, and why Yahtzee gets Simon all worked up. #yahtzee #adultdiapers  #JenniferBerkeleyForPresident  #textdontcall #mnightshyalaman

Little brother Simon joins us for a night of ups and downs and eventual ups again as we discuss the fascinating career of the modern day Hitchcock, M. Night Shyamalan. Before that, though, we talk embarrassing moments at couples' game nights, the tyranny of Olan Mills studios in the 90's, and what Simon's body has in common with the Grand Canyon.  #SceneIt #CarryingTheBanner #Newsies #WhatColorAreYou #ShowUsYourOlanMills #MNightShyalaman

Yes, we are back and it is time to have a good gab to see what has been going on in each other's lives and in the world in general. Discover what Megan has in common with Helen Mirren (I mean, what doesn't she?), where Bethany found a glimpse of Heaven (it involves men offering her doughnuts, surprise, surprise), and who it is that feels we owe him an apology (FROM OUR COLD, DEAD HANDS). Also, how France now has the Frenchest French president in French history, Megan buzzes on John Lithgow, and Bethany waxes latin on the intimate lives of dinosaurs. #NobodyPutsErinInABucket #TheChocolateKebabHouse #BoyishGoodLooks #IAmMoana

Yet again, we delve into the Shusaku Endo’s "Silence" and wrestle with theological dilemmas WAY ABOVE OUR PAYGRADE. Yes, stumble along with us as we also wrestle with what actor Erin needs as her TA to guide her through the tricky world of Victorian literature (hint hint, it rhymes with Fichael Massbender), how you know you can trust any Wikipedia page to which we refer, and we get into an English Lit throw-down to beat the one man band.

We are finally doing it! Yes, this week we discuss the amazing book, Silence by Shusaku Endo as well as its recent film adaptation by Martin Scorsese. We are blessed with the presence of the brilliant Erin Dickey as two Mormons and an Agnostic discuss 17th Century Japanese Catholicism. (As Erin states and as we really should have as the tagline for the show, "Let's just assume we're going to screw this up"). First, though, we talk adventures in secondary teaching, what we probably should have been doing instead of calculus with those fancy calculators mom and dad shelled out half our college fund for, and what is going to drive Erin back into the lover's clingy embrace of Hulu.

Yes, we are punting yet again and have decided to put off our "Silence" discussion for another week in order to talk only of things lovely and frothy. The order of the day is "Hakuna Matata" as we talk getting buffed whilst in the buff, our roles as trophy wives, and how nostalgic we get over warm lemonade. Also, art which could be considered "fra-gee-lay", we set US/Dutch relations back to the days of New Amsterdam, and FINALLY use the phrase "a taco-based lifestyle".

We know, we know, you've waited a long time for it, but we are finally here with the second half of our favorite weepie movies. BIG OLE' SPOILER ALERT - there are a lot of spoilers in this episode! Don't let that keep you from checking out these flicks, especially if you just need to be reduced to a puddle for a bit.

So we had to push back the second half of our sad movie list because - did you see the Academy Awards?!?! Yes, the Hollywood bubble was burst a little bit this week and we are here to sift through the wreckage. We also talk Meg and Shane's dream trip to the temple of basketball, the death of the William Rehnquist of daytime TV, and Bethany's very low Redbox standards. Also, Australian clapping, why CPS might need to be called to protect Moana, and the ULTIMATE "you WISH you still had me" moment. #Afflacus #HeavensDoneWaiting #TSAlovin #kubball

It's Oscars week and we discuss the only films Hollywood deems worthy of the big prize - tearjerkers. Yes, we list off the movies that have reduced us to a blubbering mess but not before talking the going-ons on The Satellite of Love, which celebrities we would most like to slap, and why Harrison Ford is heading for an intervention. Also, the phenomenon of men and sports, Icelandic pizza toppings, and requiring an interpreter whilst visiting Boston. #playingforpapes #DJmyfuneral #MonteCristoDay #youdownwithMMC #Idipyoudapwedip #itsacobblah

It's the season of love and we are here to discuss its many facets in this week's episode. We chat about how every night is Valentines in our homes, how Mr. Darcy had one too many leg days, and how we are one greasy pair of sweat pants away from packing up and moving to Grey Gardens. Also, why we need a restraining order against Christy Brinkley, the out-of-whack economics of gourmet pizza, and our newest crush and favorite gourmand- Tim P.  #thinkofEngland #freedomtowers  #getGuttenberged #guaclikeaman 

Well, Punxsutawney Phil stuck his head out of his hole and then quickly went back in to avoid the angry mobs, but you've come to the right place for a little respite from the cold. Yes, we talk the day and the movie "Groundhog Day", including the theory of how Ned Ryerson  can be used to teach particle physics. Also, typecasting Tara Reid, Tostitos bags for teetotalers, and our girl crush on Marion Cotillard. #DisneyOnIce #ImNotTHEGod #DeportHer #WinonaForever #GymProofYourMarriage #GroundhogDay

It’s the second half of our Rogue One discussion where we talk android Twitter battles, really inconvenient trap doors, and the angst of Deep Space Thrombosis. Also, ideas for the next “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, we drop an embarrassing amount of “Spaceballs” quotes, and talk possible new challenges on “The Apprentice”. “#IAmOneWithTheSchwartz #alrightalrightalright #RogueOne

SPOILER ALERT!!! It's been a year since we last discussed a Star Wars movie and it's time for Rogue One to get its own discussion on our show. Little Brother Derek joins us as we discuss this new genre of film he dubs an "InBetweenQual" but not before getting into an idea to marry HGTV with the Hunger Games, the tyranny of science fair projects, and how creepy 90's sitcoms really were. #incredulity #cardboardcuts #I'mJoey #HotRod #RogueOne

Listen as we dig Meg out of the snow with a rousing game of "Would You Rather", but not before we talk a certain outgoing president, how we would impress Marshawn Lynch, and why Richard Branson might want to bone up on note taking in case he ever runs into us. Also, what we expect for a $20 date, how we are JUST like Taylor Swift, and creepy pillowcases. #notthatinnocent #nojudgement #meandmarshawn #softcam #peakedatfour #meganstheme

Best of 2016? What are they thinking?!?! Yes, yes, we know. It was tough, folks, but we managed to find some stories which might give you less of a "What was up with that crap-fest?" feeling we all seem to have about 2016. Find yourself thinking, "I guess it wasn't all that bad" as you hear about reasons to take up skiing, interesting candle scents, and Bethany's dream job. Also, hear about Megan's demands upon the moment of her death, Bethany's run-in with Uncle Rico, and what we have decided really is the most appropriate resolution for us to make. #bloodoath #masterthewedge #leanin #sorrynotsorry #selflove #whatmakesmeggiehappy 

It's our favorite time of the year, the time when we reflect on the things we are grateful for and specifically for the blessing of adoption. November is National Adoption month and we are celebrating it, but not before we discuss the craziness  of the recent election, how we could all learn a little something from a pair of frozen moose, and discuss why all men might want to invest in a hot pad. 

This week we wrap up our interview with the lovely Nancy Turner as we discuss her book, These Is My Words. We talk about why you didn't need to be too creative while naming babies in the 19th century, how it was only decent to fit giving birth to them between chores, and why women's journals from that era were perhaps not the most trustworthy. We also chat about the responsibility of the author to history (DO NOT CHALLENGE Nancy on the difference between a sword and a calvary saber as you will only find yourself red-faced), why we have Alice Walker to thank for this book, and we get a glimpse into how seriously Nancy takes her spaghetti sauce. 

What a lovely week to have Nancy Turner on the show to discuss her work "These Is My Words", a bonafide Beth & Meg favorite! We also talk why giving birth is preferable to algebra, why you should stop at a DIY store before your next date, why all rejection letters should come from Asia, and why Nancy is proof that life begins at 40. 

This week we wrap up our month of paranormality (it's a word, look it up) with a true American horror story as we interview the owner and proprietor of the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast, Lee-ann Wilber.  She gives us some great insights into the murders of Andrew and Abby Borden, the trial of Lizzie, and the aftermath of those horrible events. She also shares why you need some pretty big cajones if you want to spend the night in her establishment - unless you sleep well with things that go bump in the night... #LizzieBorden #IWouldNotMindBeingHauntedByJoannaGaines #GotMyNunchucks #GETACAT 

Ever wanted to meet a real Ghostbuster? Well, you are in luck as we welcome Jeff Lewis, co-founder of the Arizona Ghostbusters, to discuss his love of all things Gozer and the charitable work it has inspired. Also, the majesty of Canadian cuisine, why abstinence-only education might lead to a higher number of severe concussions, and how a diet of Cactus Coolers and Funyuns might cut into your dating life. #AZGhostbuster #BustingMakesMeFeelGood #JackWhite #IBelongInHufflepuffHouse

This week we mess with powers we don't understand as we tiptoe into the world of paranormal research with the man, the legend, and our cousin, Mark Beagley. We also talk other horrifying things like coming to terms with "maturing skin", the only time in the history of mankind when a restauranteur called out a certain pair of sisters for ordering too much Chinese food, and the rules which kick into effect should you ever poop your pants. Also, we use the word interesting about a gazillion times. Just a heads up, this episode has some pretty creepy stuff in it so you may want to listen without children or scaredy cats around. #Im40NotDead #ThatTooMuch #OnlySithsDealInAbsolutes #GetOutOfMeSatan #FamilyReunionsAreNotForTheFaintHearted

There's a crisp chill in the air and it's time to pull out your sweaters as we talk girls' weekend! That's right, we got the band back together and it involved foreign relations, granny panties, and what was probably not the weirdest thing to happen at Wal-Mart that day. Also, who we would choose Amanda Knox over for a roommate, how Megan was the Dita Von Teese of our high school, and why we feel there should be more Homie the Clown sightings.  #CookingWithCleavage #BigHairDontCare #SorryNotSorry #2DWorld #ItsJustLikeIreland

We are back and it is officially "bidness time". We talk the Great British Bake Off, why we are more interested in the Knope/Newport Jr. debates, and how much we enjoy watching Justin Bieber getting spanked. Also, we debate cheese vs. cake, and lament the fact that we never had a Bat Mitzvah/Quinceñera. Finally, we talk the Sundance Grand Jury Prize winning documentary detailing the failed mayoral candidacy of Anthony Weiner and Bethany finally uses the phrase "Get to da choppa!".

This week we continue our conversation with Kyle about the Netflix hit "Stranger Things" and things get... well, strange! We talk judicious punching, the etymology of a favorite crude word, and sigh for the awesomeness that was "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. Also, we put in an order with Edward Snowden for what we'd like to see next, discover that Kyle would totally go Broadway in a Sasquatch encounter, and speculate that Gaten Matarazzo's teeth must be hiding in the Upside Down.

STRANGER THINGS! Awesome friend of the show, Kyle, joins us this week as we talk all things Duffer Brothers, but not before we get into Netflix infidelity, what Katie Holmes and Kermit the Frog have in common, the state of Ethan Hawke's teeth, and why we only ever drink our OJ straight. Also, we find out we are not the worst siblings in the world and the phrase "Matthew Modine is a lovin' machine" is used. 

It's been a few weeks but we fill you in on all the goings on at our annual Jones/Johnson family retreat where we learn of Megan's true feelings regarding Taco Bell's Fresco Menu, why technically Bethany could have paid camping dues at the local honey pot, and the words our men like to whisper to us by light of a citronella candle. Also, learn of the moment we thought the rapture had occurred and we weren't too shocked to find out we'd been left behind, the Roller Derby names we have chosen to strike fear into the hearts of our opponents, and how hard it is to say goodbye to The Waco Kid.

Fabulous news today to temper the fact that Megan is unable to join us. Nancy Turner will be joining us in October to discuss "These Is My Words" and we could not be more excited! You can find her book here. Also, we would love to get some more reviews on iTunes, so take a moment and go here. Hit the blue "View in ITunes" button which will lead you to the "Ratings and Reviews" section where you can talk us up. Or down. Whatever. Just remember karma is real.

Week One of Rio 2106 is over and we are here to hash it out! We talk strategy for how we could take synchronized diving, why "Mad Dogging" should be an Olympic sport, and why Megan wouldn't mind running into a scary Brazilian. Also, the difference between US and UK cooking shows and rocking' out with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Mostly though we talk women's sports and the woeful state of its commentary. You had to know this was happening...

It's the most wonderful time of the year! That's right folks, the Olympic Games start tomorrow and as a preview we are lucky enough to have as our guest Mike Beagley, a member of the US Olympic Committee and our favorite cousin (until the next one comes on the show). He tells us about past Olympic and Paralympic Games, crazy run ins with Ivan Drago (we are convinced that's who it was) and his picks for who to watch out for this year. Also, the night Megan was ROBBED, the awkwardness of running into your spouse anywhere outside of your house, and using our in to get a tryout for the 2018 Winter Games - Pyeongchang here we come!

More denial this week as we discuss the irony of a GoFundMe page to live off the grid, condescending centerpieces, and how we have Cupcake Wars to blame for much of the ugliness of the internet. Also, Mick Jagger now has more children than decades of his life, Katie and Jamie apparently are a thing, and if you are on Death Row you might want to give us a buzz.

It's ONLY HAPPY NEWS this week as we attempt to continue living in denial about the state of the world. We talk Stranger Things on Netflix (watch it), how children of the '80s are an untapped resource in our fight against the Axis of Evil, and how disappointing our profile would be on the mythical creatures version of Ashley Madison.

This week WE WANT TO BELIEVE as we talk all things Sasquatch with the co-founder of the Washington Sasquatch Research Team (WASRT), Steve Wilkins. We discuss the infamous Patty footage, burgeoning research techniques, and ancient Native American lore. We also talk with little brother Derek about why John Lithgow has a lot to answer for, why the Old Country Buffet may be the best place to stalk Megan, and the jerkiest thing two sisters ever did.  Sorry Derek - we'll do your chores this week.

Spoiler alerts ahead! This week we review the movie Independence Day Resurgence, a movie some have compared to the majesty of Iron Eagle 3 (take from that what you will). We discuss how this movie would have wrapped up much quicker if it was set in Mumbai, which Jillian Michael's workout this film has inspired us to try, and drop a RIDICULOUS number of Arrested Development references. Enjoy!       

This week we welcome our own little English Muffin, Nathan Jones, as we discuss why Scotland is the Effie White of Europe, why you have to be nonjudgmental if you're going to get a snack at Megan's house at two in the morning, and why you are taking a major risk if you're going to have a money dance at your wedding. #prayersforrio

We know you've been on tenterhooks to hear the second half of our review of Rolling Stones' Top 100 Albums. Well, wait no more, dear listeners, as we climb our way up the chart, but not before discussing why Bethany will be buying 100 tickets to the Policemen/Firemen's Ball this year, why Megan better scour her bed before going to sleep, and the GREATEST single achievement these two sisters have ever accomplished together.

This week, we discuss why Megan's house is a little like "Lord of the Flies", why Bethany is trying to slowly destroy her husband, and how we are losing listeners one story at a time. Also, we review what Rolling Stones Magazine considers the numbers 100-51 of the greatest albums of all time. ( I looked it up - it's "Giddy Up, Oom Poppa Oom Poppa Mow Mow").

What a treat to have Mary Doria Russell with us for the second half of our discussion about her book "A Thread of Grace"! We  also discuss her reverence of Kurt Russell's keister, take a stand for all Generation Y-ers (you know you're one if you can make those springy things with the bits you rip off the paper after printing the Valentine's  Day card you made for your mom off a dot matrix printer in computer lab - remember how carefully you folded those cards?) and the lengths we will go to to see Shaq play.

This week we have the enviable task of discussing the book "A Thread of Grace" with its author, New York Times Bestseller and two time Pulitzer Prize nominee, Mary Doria Russell.

This week we discuss why you should never judge the origin story of a taco, why someone at 20th Century Fox needs a calendar, and hear Bethany audition for Stephen Colbert's job. Also, hear the second half of our interview with Emily Richman as she explains why we all need some time on the couch, what the TSA could learn from reality TV, and why you should pray the light you see in your near-death-experience isn't a black light.

This week we try to not be offended as we discuss Tabasco flavored fingernails and why children should never be allowed to fly around with aliens for ten years, and have a seriously hilarious time discussing comedy with our friend, stand-up comedian and counselor Emily Richman!

This week we get into loaded questions and discover what very specific Jeopardy categories we would sweep, our shared love of nerdy Olympic sports, and why the FCC will never allow Megan and Shane to compete on "The Amazing Race".

The death of a Prince, a Coachella lineup made up of Rock Gods, and the second book by the Queen of American literature - join two bonafide serfs as we discuss an amazing week in the Arts and dissect "Go Set a Watchman" by Harper Lee.

We get our helmets and pads on, pick off the scab from our latest tat, and prepare to pants someone as we discuss the spectacle of roller derby with Fleetwood Smack herself! Though not before we discuss Johnny Depp's weird accent and try to figure out what went horribly wrong in Avonlea.

Happy twentieth episode! To mark this illustrious occasion, we get out of our pjs and go VIDEO!!! That's right - it's about time you witnessed our ginormous noggins as we discuss recent adventures and chow down on delectables (and not so delectables) from across the pond. 

It's the most wonderful time of the year folks - MARCH LUNACY! (We really don't want to get sued by the NCAA). Cry over your bracket as we talk mispronouncing the names of beloved holidays (looking at you Arboor Day), whether Carrottop is a carbon-based organism, and d-lines made up of GMO papayas.

In this week's episode, Megan rejoins us in the crushing world of reality, Richard Simmons is found and the world says "We didn't know he was lost", and we review the lovely book "Pioneer Girl". Little House fans unite!

Beth & Meg host another "Bed In" while we discuss spending a year in space, the finale of Downton Abbey, moral dilemmas over at The Walking Dead, and whether the first taste of the new Ghostbusters movie is sweet or sour!

Here it is folks, the event you've all been waiting for - the 2015 Reddies! In this episode we award movies based on their excellence and the dollar we were required to pay to rent them from Redbox. We also discuss "Super" Tuesday, the Oscars that remind us about the more we know, and how Mark Zuckerberg is keeping us up at night.

On this week's episode we talk with our brother Derek's efforts to aid Operation Underground Railroad, an organization dedicated to ending child sex trafficking. This episode contains mature content and is not suitable for children.

From the highest of heights to the lowest of depths, we discuss everything from the heroes of Gettysburg to the hairstyle Brenda and Kelly are bringing back to the red carpet. We also break down our feelings on anyone famous named Chris. I believe this is what you would call a "hodgepodge".

Hey nonny nonny and huzzah! In an effort to show you that we have tricked far superior minds into being our friends, we welcome Ellicia Elliott to discuss her recent adventure of directing "Othello" and try desperately to sound like we know what we're talking about. Fortunately, the Bard used fools a lot so we may just squeak through!

If you're in the mood to be bombarded by completely uninformed opinions, prepare to have all your dreams come true. In this episode we discuss Netflix's latest phenomenon "Making a Murderer" and see if we've got the chops to finally crack the case. (Spoiler alert - we don't).

In this episode we play the game "Would You Rather?" and discuss the horrors of the Presidential Fitness Test, why Sam Worthington and Cameron Diaz should be forced to star in all their movies together. and which celebrity we would not be able to inform that his fly is down. Also, hear our amazing impressions of our husbands' impressions of Sean Connery. It's uncanny.  

Could Mrs. Crawley be the one who brings balance to the force? Find out as we discuss the goings on of the Real Housewives of Downton Abbey and then plumb the mind of JJ Abrams as we discuss a little known movie called "The Force Awakens".

In which we remind Hollywood that everything is good in moderation (looking' at you Marvel and DC) and give some ideas for movies that don't target frat boys.

In which we divulge our love of all things carbohydrates and our goal to do whatever Oprah demands.

In which we discuss the fact that Meg swears everyone has a ghost story and we prove her right with our own. Special guest  - our little brother Derek... awwwwwww.

In which we discuss our love of movies and review a few of them.

In which Megan describes her recent kick-assed-ness over cancer.

In which we divulge deep, dark secrets (like our love of polka music).

In which some of us reveal our most embarrassing moments and some of us wisely keep them to herself.

In which we talk about a world in which both Zombies and Tim Gunn help us chill after a day of Mickey and Elmo. 

In which we discover we have no business podcasting but EVERY business discussing the greatest 10 years this planet has ever seen!