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Semi-Together is a podcast by sisters Gillian Burgess and Melia Dicker about having some of your life together all of the time. It’s about working on where you want to get it together, while giving yourself credit for where you’ve got it together. As we learn to live with more calm, joy, and authenticity, we share takeaways from our research and experience that you can use, too. Topics: Perfectionism, self-compassion, personal development, anxiety, stress, coping skills, psychology, goals, authenticity, vulnerability, ADHD, optimism, happiness, humor, joy, evolving, self-care, gratitude
- 101 - Ep. 89: Creative Living with ADHD, with Ellen Langford
For ADHD Awareness Month, we talk with painter Ellen Langford about her ADHD journey and how it intertwines with her creative life. Ellen shares the gifts and challenges of neurodivergence as an artist and small business owner, and the strategies that help her thrive.
Ellen Langford is a painter whose body of work is inspired by landscapes, chance meetings, and the cross-currents of the South. As a former paramedic in central Mississippi, she was moved by the personal stories of her patients and the quiet rituals of their lives. Ellen has studied her craft in cities such as New York, San Francisco, DC, and Italy, among other places, but her work took on its recognizable narrative quality when she returned home to Jackson, Mississippi.
As a parent and animal lover, Ellen often incorporates children and animals into her paintings, color, movement, and texture to build the story worlds her figures inhabit.
You can find Ellen's work at ellenlangford.com, on Instagram at @ellenlangfordpaints, and Facebook at Ellen Langford Paints.
You can support Ellen's lifelong dream to hike the Appalachian Trail here.
Links:
Appalachian Trail Helene Recovery Resources & Updates (AT Conservancy) Chaos Theory: A Unified Theory of Muppet Types (Slate) Hunters in a Farmer's World overview (Thom Hartmann) ADHD Traits Might Have Helped Hunter-Gatherers Collect More Food While Foraging, Study Suggests (Smithsonian)
Ep. 43: Thriving with ADHD, with Dr. Michelle Frank---
Find us on the web for show notes and extras:www.semitogether.com
Instagram:www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook:https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom:www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Fri, 25 Oct 2024 - 1h 00min - 100 - Ep. 88: Zoning Your Time to Reflect Your Priorities
There’s rarely enough time in the day to do everything we want to. So how do we zone our time to reflect our priorities? We discuss strategies to sort out what we actually value, as well as experiments to build our schedules around these values.
Resources:
Big Rocks & Little Rocks priority setting (Stephen Covey video)Previous episodes:
Ep. 86: What Makes You Feel Alive? Ep 81: What Makes a Good Life? Ep. 23: How to Make Time for What Fuels You How to Make Time for What Fuels You downloadable workbook Ep. 6: Prioritizing What Matters, Part 2 Ep. 5: Prioritizing What Matters, Part 1--
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram:www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook:https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom:www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Sun, 15 Sep 2024 - 48min - 99 - Ep. 87: What It's Like to Have a Bonus Family, with our brother, Jeff Hamilton
We're back after a bit of a hiatus! We talk with Jeff Hamilton, our older biological half-brother, collectively telling the story of how we met as adults and became a big bonus family. This is the first time the three of us have talked about what this life-changing experience was like for each of us.
Jeff grew up in Livermore, California and lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife, Melissa and a menagerie of pets. Jeff is a project manager for Auto-Chlor whose interests include fostering rescue animals, woodworking, and travel. Jeff and Melissa have two children, Bryce and Haley.
Fri, 02 Aug 2024 - 1h 15min - 98 - Ep. 86: What Makes You Feel Alive?
We discuss the question: What makes you feel alive? It’s been on our minds during this mid-winter period, when we often get the blahs or the blues. We talk about what energizes, fuels us, or puts us in a flow state – and how we make time for it. We also share four strategies you can use to figure out what makes you feel most alive.
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras:www.semitogether.com
Instagram:www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook:https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom:www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Links:
Ep. 30: Balancing Novelty & Familiarity
Ep. 52: How Nostalgia Helps Us Cope with Stress
Ep. 80: Finding Everyday Awe
What Maslow Overlooked: The Need to Feel Alive(ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer's World)Sat, 09 Mar 2024 - 33min - 97 - Ep. 85: How Do We Navigate Difficult Anniversaries? with Tara Blumenthal
In this episode, we discuss how to acknowledge (vs "celebrate") emotionally complex anniversaries of life-altering challenges, like serious illness or loss. How do we process these events? What kinds of rituals help us through the peaks and valleys that accompany them?
We talk with Tara Blumenthal, owner of Tara Yoga Movement and Wellness Clinic, about her experiences moving through difficult anniversaries. We’ll also share some insights from our Semi-Together patrons and other loved ones who’ve been through their own challenging anniversaries.
*Note that this episode contains mature language and deals with complex topics like major illness and death, with a brief mention of self-harm.
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Links:
Tara Blumenthal:
Instagram: @notyouraverageyogateacher / @mellowkissroyals
Tara Yoga & Wellness Clinic in Flowood, MS:
www.tarayogamovementandwellnessclinic.com
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Fri, 16 Feb 2024 - 1h 21min - 96 - Ep. 84: Celebrating Wins and Setting Intentions for the New Year
Happy New Year! To celebrate last year's wins and set intentions for this year, we each share three "Got It Together"s from 2023 and three "Get It Together"s for 2024. That is, three areas where we've made meaningful strides, and three areas where we would most like to progress.
Get It Together, Got It Together, is a segment we do in most episodes, where we share something that we’d like to work on and something that’s going well for us right now. We’ve found this framing helpful to remind us that at any given moment, there are things that are working for us as well as things that aren’t. It helps us find the wins -- especially on the days where it feels like everything is falling apart -- and helps us notice that all of it is constantly shifting.
We'd love to hear your 2023 "Got It Together"s and 2024 "Get It Together"s. You can them with us at podcast@semitogether.com.
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Links:
2023's new year's episode: Ep. 74: So This Is The New Year
For 2024, how about living a truly quiet life? (Susan Cain’s Substack: The Quiet LifeWed, 10 Jan 2024 - 42min - 95 - Ep. 83: Handling the Holidays with Limited CapacityTue, 21 Nov 2023 - 35min
- 94 - Ep. 82: Right-Sizing Our Thrills and Chills
It’s spooky season, and we’re talking about how to find our just-right amount of thrills and chills -- what feels fun or engaging for each of us (eustress), and what’s too much (distress). The amount of challenge that we desire in each arena of life can differ quite a bit, depending on our individual nervous system and season of life. What’s brave for one of us can be too extreme for another, and only we can know for ourselves.
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Links:
What to Know About Eustress (VerywellMind) Paul Rudd throws a clean-up tantrum in Wet Hot American Summer The window of tolerance, a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, MDTue, 10 Oct 2023 - 41min - 93 - Ep. 81: What Makes a Good Life?
Most of us aspire to live a good life. We may assume we know what that looks like, without asking what a good life looks like for us -- which may diverge quite a bit from cultural ideals. In this episode, we share research findings on the essential elements of general well-being and discuss how our own ideas of a good life have changed over time.
Links:
The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness, by Marc Schulz, MD, and Robert Waldinger, MD
TED talk / transcript by Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development
The Blue Zones - the Power 9 practices for longevity
Dr. Dean Ornish - research-based lifestyle medicine
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Thu, 07 Sep 2023 - 1h 02min - 92 - Ep. 80: Finding Everyday Awe
There's a simple action you can take to lower anxiety and stress, calm your nervous system, and increase your feeling of connection with others and the world around you. It's free, straightforward, and takes only a couple of minutes to feel the benefits. That practice is finding everyday awe.
In this episode, we share the eight wonders of life from the research of Dacher Keltner, a professor of psychology, founding director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and author of the new book, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life. We discuss how these have shown up in our lives and what you can do to cultivate them in your own.
Tue, 25 Jul 2023 - 53min - 91 - Ep. 79: Giving Yourself Real Rest
What feels restful to you? Some of us are so accustomed to doing and striving that we’re not quite sure anymore. Still, our minds and bodies need real rest to function, especially when we’re under stress. Coming off a restful week together in Spain, we discuss how to identify what renews your energy and carve out time for it.
-----Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Links:
Ep. 20: Self-Care Is Not Just for Women, with Chris Myers
Life In Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World, by Gretchen Rubin
Fri, 09 Jun 2023 - 38min - 90 - Ep. 78: Spring Cleaning for Our Spaces and Minds
Spring cleaning has a number of mental health benefits. It gives you a sense of control over your environment that can help you manage stress and anxiety in your daily life. And making your space more open and tidy is both calming and energizing.
We share 5 guiding questions, with examples from our lives, to help you figure out:
which types of spring cleaning will free up the most bandwidth for you what the good / better / best version of "done" looks like, and small steps you can take to get to “good.”Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: @semitogether
Facebook: /semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD virtually: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
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Links:
The Mental Health Benefits of Spring Cleaning (Vogue)
Marie Kondo Interviews Elizabeth Gilbert on Tidying the Mind (KonMari)
Decluttering at the Speed of Life, by Dana K. White
How to Keep House While Drowning, by KC Davis
Sun, 16 Apr 2023 - 56min - 89 - Ep. 77: Small Steps to Break Through Overwhelm
As humans trying to keep up with the lightning-fast pace of the modern world, many of us often feel overwhelmed. It may be in a certain area of life -- like health, work, family, or current events -- and commonly, it’s all of the above all at once.
In this episode, we share what overwhelm is and how to take small steps to break through it, including reading your body’s warning signs, calming your nervous system, and using “on-ramps” to move yourself forward.
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Links:
Ep. 44: Pressing the Reset Button (on actions to complete the stress cycle)
Resources:
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, by Brené Brown
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Amelia and Emily Nagoski
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD virtually: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Wed, 29 Mar 2023 - 55min - 88 - Ep. 76: What's Your Love Language? with The Dudes
We bring in our husbands, Brian and Darren (a.k.a. The Dudes) to discuss our love languages and how they show up in our relationships.
Gary Chapman published the book “The 5 Love Languages” over 30 years ago. Since then, the concept of “love languages” have become an enduring part of our pop culture lexicon, beyond the original five from the book. People talk about their love languages being tacos or travel or solitude in an empty house.
What are your love languages, and has knowing them helped you in your relationships (of all kinds)? Tell us at podcast@semitogether.com.
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Resources:
Take The 5 Love Languages Quiz
Scary Mommy: The Creator Of The 5 Love Languages Is A Homophobe And This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
TED: Your Favorite Person’s Love Language: How to Tell, and How to Use It
The Gottman Institute: “Invest in Your Emotional Bank Account”
Reductress: How to Say Your Love Languages Is Gifts Without Sounding Like a French Child Prince
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD virtually: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Sat, 04 Mar 2023 - 56min - 87 - Ep. 75: Finding Meaning in Adversity
It feels important right now to figure out how to navigate the major stressors in our lives and move forward even when we’re struggling. Some of the people close to us are going through hard times right now, like infertility, serious illness, and loss of a loved one. It makes sense that as we get older, the more illness and loss we experience, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
We’ve been coping by reading books about finding hope, beauty, and meaning in the midst of pain. We wanted to share the takeaways that we’ve found most helpful, and how they've carried each of us through adversity.
Note that we talk about dealing with difficult experiences such as illness, grief, and loss, so you may want to listen with headphones around young kids. If you’re going through something tough right now, we hope this conversation can be a support to you, but if it’s triggering in any way, feel free to skip this one.
Sat, 04 Feb 2023 - 50min - 86 - Ep. 74: So This Is the New Year
We’ve always been amused by the holiday song that begins, “So this is Christmas,” because of its ambivalent vibe, like, “Welp, I guess this is happening.” But this opening line actually captures how we feel about the start of 2023..
In this episode, we talk about framing our intentions for the new year at a time when we’re both dealing with some big challenges and not feeling 100% peppy. However you’re feeling about the new year -- excited, apprehensive, optimistic, overwhelmed, or a blend of emotions -- is okay. You get to decide how to start this new year the way that’s right for you and feel what you feel about it, no matter what anyone else is doing.
How are you approaching 2023? Tell us at podcast@semitogether.com.
Previous New Year’s episodes:
Ep. 62: Start the New Year with a Vision
Ep. 47: Goodbye 2020, Hello 2021!
Ep. 37: Reimagining Our 2020 Goals
Ep. 7: Tighten Up and Lighten Up
Ep. 2: How to Stick with Resolutions & Goals
Resources:
Anxiety RX, by Dr. Russ Kennedy
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD virtually: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Fri, 13 Jan 2023 - 41min - 85 - Ep. 73: It's Your F'ing Holiday
The holidays can be A LOT, especially when we’ve been in survival mode -- as many of us have been since the pandemic started. This has been a challenging year for us: Gill has been managing her cancer diagnosis and treatment, while Melia has been building her coaching business and moving to New York with her family.
There’s a lot of cultural pressure to make the holidays “the most wonderful time of the year,” but WE get to decide what our holidays look like. To lower stress and overwhelm and boost joy and connection, we start by zeroing in on what matters most to us. When our priority and intention is clear, we can let the rest go.
A few questions to ask yourself when considering baking cookies, buying gifts, going to holiday events, etc.:
Do I want to do this? If I want to do this, what do I want from the experience? What matters most to me? How does it affect my body budget (deposits/withdrawals), and how do I plan to stay fueled?Tell us: What are your intentions for this holiday season? What are you choosing to do and not to do? Email us at podcast@semitogether.com or send us a voice memo.
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Resources:
Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids, by Mona Delahooke
Anxiety RX: A New Prescription for Anxiety Relief from the Doctor Who Created It., by Russell Kennedy, M.D.
The Tapping Solution (EFT Tapping Meditation app)
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Sat, 10 Dec 2022 - 43min - 84 - Ep. 72: The Bittersweetness of Transitions
A lot of us are going through major transitions right now: moving to new locations, changing jobs or relationship status, having kids, or going through losses or health challenges. Many of us are shifting into a new phase in our lives or re-evaluating our priorities due to the pandemic.
The bittersweet nature of many of these transitions has been on our minds lately for a variety of reasons. Melia and her family just moved from Jackson, MS to the Albany, NY area, away from many people and places they love. We recorded this episode together in person at our childhood home in Sonoma, CA, before our parents put the house on the market and move closer to us both.
We draw upon Susan Cain’s beautiful book, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, as we cope with feelings of grief for what’s ending mixed with anticipation for what’s ahead. We share how we are embracing the bittersweet and, as always, feel it all.
When do you tend to feel bittersweet? What are some ways that embracing bittersweetness helps you through transitions? Tell us at podcast@semitogether.com.
Resources:
Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, by Susan Cain
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, by Brené Brown
Unlocking Us podcast: Brené with Susan Cain on How Sorrow & Longing Make Us Whole, Part 1
Unlocking Us podcast: Brené with Susan Cain on How Sorrow & Longing Make Us Whole, Part 2
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Tue, 08 Nov 2022 - 50min - 83 - Ep. 71: How to Feel the Feels, and Why It Matters
Our upbringing, culture, and traumatic experiences can disconnect us from our emotions and intuition. Many of us get stuck in our minds and stop noticing the pain or discomfort in our bodies, so we miss signals that are crucial to our well-being.
In this episode, we discuss why feeling your emotions matters and how to do it. We share practices that are teaching us to feel it all, and which you can use to do the same.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Mon, 15 Aug 2022 - 1h 01min - 82 - Ep. 70: Dealing with Disappointment
Wellllll 🤬🤬🤬
Sometimes things don’t go as planned. You realize that a situation is out of your control, there’s nothing you can do about it, and it just plain sucks.
This episode is unfortunately inspired by recent real-life events. We were supposed to meet in D.C. this month for some much-needed sister time, but the universe/ pandemic had other plans.
One of our coping mechanisms is thinking, “It’s all content,” when things don’t go our way. In that spirit, we share five strategies to help you deal with disappointment when reality falls short of your expectations.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Resources:
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown
Unlocking Us podcast: Comparative Suffering, the 50/50 Myth, and Settling the Ball
Episode 44: Pressing the Reset Button
Fri, 22 Jul 2022 - 40min - 81 - Ep. 69: Get Out of Your Own Way by Knowing Your Enneagram Type, with Alicia Ross
If you’ve heard us refer to our Enneagram types in previous episodes (Melia is a 1, Gill is a 7) and wondered what the heck we were talking about, or if you are familiar with the Enneagram framework and want to learn more, this episode is for you!
We talk to our dear friend Alicia Ross, a certified Enneagram coach who is starting a new Enneagram training and coaching business this summer.
The pandemic has brought out the worst in most of us at some point – the way we act when we’re overwhelmed and scared. As challenging as this period is, it’s also an opportunity to look at why we do the things we do, even when we know they don’t serve us. Alicia shares:
How the Enneagram personality system can help us understand these patterns, give us more compassion for ourselves and other people, and open up the space to make a different choice. Descriptions of the 9 Enneagram types in this context, highlighting what causes stress for each type, and how each can find more balance, peace, sanity, and connection.For reference, we’ve included timestamps for each type:
Overview of the Enneagram: What is it, how it’s useful, and how it differs from other personality systems - 4:48 Type One, The Reformer - 22:59 Type Two, The Helper - 33:29 Type Three, The Achiever - 43:06 Type Four, The Individualist - 52:41 Type Five, The Investigator - 61:11 Type Six, The Loyalist - 70:17 Type Seven, The Enthusiast - 76:36 Type Eight, The Challenger - 86:20 Type Nine, The Peacemaker - 95:11Learn more about Alicia Ross and her Enneagram workshops and coaching: https://www.enneagramgrowthpath.com/
Read more about each type on the Enneagram Institute website: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com
Ryan O’Neal’s Sleeping at Last album of moving songs about Enneagram type: https://open.spotify.com/album/1R3C4VebWmWXFlbTSnnLql?si=WJstRap5SlKS0cwrFVeLaA
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Fri, 10 Jun 2022 - 1h 49min - 80 - Ep. 68: How to Set Internal Boundaries
When we think about setting boundaries, many of us focus on external boundaries: the limits we set with other people around our time, physical space, privacy, etc. But internal boundaries – those we need to protect our inner worlds from outside influences – are just as important, and often more difficult to set and hold.
In this episode, we discuss what it looks like to have healthy internal boundaries that nurture our self-trust and confidence, and help us take responsibility for our actions and well-being. In our Get It Together / Got It Together segment, we each share the internal boundaries we want to strengthen, and the ones that we've done the work to establish.
Let us know how you manage your own internal boundaries. Which limits feel strong, and which are you still working on?
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Tue, 17 May 2022 - 53min - 79 - Ep. 67: Expanding the F**k It List
Heads up that this episode contains swearing.
Let’s revisit The F**k It List! We recorded an episode on this topic back in February 2021, a year into the pandemic, when we were reevaluating our priorities and deciding how we want to spend our precious time and energy going forward.
Making a F**k It List is a fun and liberating exercise. Think of it as the anti-Bucket List. Instead of “Things to do before you die,” it’s “Things to stop doing so you can fully live.”
The F**k It List can also be an alternative to short-term goal lists or resolutions. It’s a list of things that we may have done out of obligation, or optics, or in service of goals we used to have, but we are consciously letting go of, because we get to decide.
Tell us what's on your own F**k It List at podcast@semitogether.com.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Sun, 24 Apr 2022 - 1h 07min - 78 - Ep. 66: Poetry That Helps Us Feel It All
As National Poetry Month begins, we discuss the power of poetry to express emotion, read some of our favorite poems, and share what they mean to us. Become a patron of the podcast on Patreon (linked below) and read a couple of poems we’ve written that are close to our hearts.
Gill gives a health update and thanks our people for all of their loving support. Melia reveals what is helping her sleep better after many restless nights.
We’d love to hear your favorite poems and the role that reading or writing poetry has played in your life. Email us or send a voice memo to podcast@semitogether.com.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD to get things done in ways that work for our wild, creative brains: www.risingspiralcoaching.com.
Poems that have special meaning for us:[love is more thicker than forget], by e.e. Cummings
The Dream Keeper, by Langston Hughes
Phenomenal Woman, by Maya Angelou
Those Winter Sundays, by Robert Hayden
We Shake With Joy, by Mary Oliver
Don’t Hesitate, by Mary Oliver
This Be the Verse, by Philip Larkin
The Hill We Climb, by Amanda Gorman
Rollercoaster, by Jasmine Gardosi
Love Poem, by John Frederick Nims
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in], by e.e. Cummings
“Milkshake” poem from the movie Before Sunrise
Sat, 02 Apr 2022 - 50min - 77 - Ep. 65: How to Show Up for People in Tough Times
Heads up that we talk about some serious personal health issues in this episode with a good bit of emotion and swearing. If any of this is too much for you right now, feel free to skip this episode, read the summary in the forthcoming show notes or come back to it later.
In this episode, we discuss how to show up for people in tough times, such as serious illness, loss, or other challenges they’re going through. When people we care about are hurting, we often want to do something to help but aren’t sure how.
Gill graciously shares her own recent health challenges, speaking about them publicly for the first time, to share what’s been helpful and not-so-helpful to her so far. Keep in mind that some of these are her personal preferences, but others will likely be universal.
Let us know at podcast@semitogether.com what’s been helpful when you or loved ones have gone through tough times.
See the show notes for a summary of the episode and ways to support Gill if you’d like to do so.
Resources & links:
Episode 39: Dodging the Second Arrow
Anticancer: A New Way of Life, by David Servan-Schreiber
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Dr. Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance, by Tara Brach
Burnout: The secret to solving the stress cycle, by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
Heart Advice for Difficult Times, by Pema Chödrön
Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World, by Pema Chödrön
Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most, by Greg McKeown
Unlocking Us podcast: Brené Brown on FFTs
Find Semi-Together on the web: https://semitogether.com
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Mon, 07 Mar 2022 - 1h 06min - 76 - Ep. 64: Building Joy & Meaning Into Every Day
We imagine that we’re not the only ones going through intense ups and downs right now, with the ongoing pandemic and winter weather. We’ve really been feeling the need to have things to look forward to, as well as everyday highlights we can count on, so in this episode we talk about Building Joy & Meaning into Every Day.
We share the activities that bring each of us joy and meaning, with tips for intentionally making them part of our daily schedules, and what we’re looking forward to -- getting inventive when the list is too thin. We encourage you to borrow from our lists and tell us what’s on yours.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com.
Sat, 29 Jan 2022 - 57min - 75 - Ep. 63: Relationship Insights from These Pandemic Times, with The Dudes
It’s been a wild ride during pandemic times, with many opportunities (welcome or not!) for us to practice the strategies we talk about on this podcast. Managing relationships in a new way -- with coworkers or friends, your family of origin or chosen family -- has been important but often challenging, especially when quarantining together at length.
Our husbands, Brian and Darren, are back for their third guest appearance on the podcast to talk with us about the biggest challenges, lessons learned, and silver linings during the nearly two years of the pandemic. We discuss the resources and outlets that have kept us (relatively) sane, and what we’d like to carry into the new normal, whenever it emerges.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com.
Resources:
Previous Semi-Together eps with Brian and Darren: Ep. 8: The Dudes, Ep. 21: Personality Types in Relationships & Life
Drs. John & Julie Gottman, relationship researchers & therapists: The Gottman Institute, 8 Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us eps: FFTs, comparative suffering, Esther Perel
Glennon Doyle on “TV time” during the pandemic
Elizabeth Gilbert on Facing Fear with Compassion
Corpen, Brian’s craft gin distillery in Barcelona
Fri, 14 Jan 2022 - 1h 01min - 74 - Ep. 62: Start the New Year with a Vision
Happy New Year! We recorded this episode on the last day of 2021 (together in person, yay!!).
Our topic is Start the New Year with a Vision – which is especially timely as we’re ringing in 2022, but you can do this any time you want to reflect on and reset your goals and intentions. In this episode, we:
Share a 2021 Get It Together / Got It Together roundup Discuss why having a vision helps set an intentional course for the new year and beyond Share guiding questions to think about + ideas for creating your vision in a relaxed and enjoyable way Talk about why we love making vision collages to start the new year Share which goals and intentions made it to our own vision collages
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Resources
Semi-Together Ep. 5:Prioritizing What Matters, Part I Semi-Together Ep. 6:Prioritizing What Matters, Part II Who The F*ck Am I To Be A Coach?!: A Warrior's Guide to Building a Wildly Successful Coaching Business From the Inside Out by Megan Jo Wilson Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most by Greg McKeown Upstream: The Quest to Solve Problems Before They Happen by Dan Heath Jack Canfield:21 Ways to Make Your Vision Board More Powerful Jesse J. Anderson, ADHD Creative:@jessejanderson on TwitterSun, 02 Jan 2022 - 49min - 73 - Ep 61: Make a Holiday List, and Shorten It Twice
As the busyness of the holiday season ramps up, we're feeling the need to simplify our tasks. We’ll talk about how we’re doing with the holiday hustle, then share tips for shrinking your list down to the things that really matter to you. By letting the rest go, you’ll feel calmer and have more quality time with your loved ones.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
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Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Links
Ep. 46: All Vibes Welcome for the Holidays Neck support / anti-snoring pillow Kokoon earbuds Ep. 46: All Vibes Welcome for the Holidays I RewatchedLove, Actuallyand Am Here to Ruin It for All of You(Lindy West, Jezebel)No,Love, ActuallyIsn’t Problematic(Dana Schwartz, Bustle)
Fri, 17 Dec 2021 - 43min - 72 - Ep. 60: Happiness in the Here and Now: Our BFF Katie, a Therapist, Shares Her Secrets
Today’s episode is a little different. We often mention our dear friend Katie, who has transformed herself over the years from a melancholy teenager into a contented adult. After healing past traumas and learning to practice radical acceptance through years of therapy, she became a therapist herself. Now she helps her clients make the same kinds of positive changes in their lives.
When Katie visited Jackson this summer, Melia insisted that she share her secrets, the practices that help her find happiness within herself, in the here and now. She tells us how cognitive-behavioral techniques -- choosing our thoughts and actions -- can change not only our feelings in the moment, but also our overall sense of happiness and fulfillment.
We hope that you’ll find these takeaways especially helpful during this busy holiday season, when our many commitments can feel less than jolly. You can contact Katie via podcast@semitogether.com, and she is taking new clients based in California and Minnesota, via teletherapy.
What resonates with you in this conversation? In which ways have you evolved since you were a teenager? Let us know via the email above or send us a voice memo.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
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Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
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Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD:www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Resources from this ep:
Awareness, by Anthony de Mello The Unplanned Career: How to Turn Curiosity Into Opportunity, by Kathleen Mitchell When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl Feeling Good, by David Burns Grit, by Angela Duckworth Eckhart Tolle Byron Katie The Curiosity-Driven Life: Elizabeth Gilbert on Oprah’s Super-Soul ConversationsFri, 03 Dec 2021 - 1h 15min - 71 - Ep. 59: Perfectionism: How We’ve Evolved and Where We’re Still Growing
Perfectionism is a recurring theme of Semi-Together – and the root of many of the things we struggle with, as we learn to show up authentically and treat ourselves with compassion.
We went back and listened to Episode 25: Perfectionism & Self-Compassion, which we released almost exactly two years ago, to see where we’ve evolved and where we’re still growing. We share:
A quick review of what perfectionism is and why it’s harmful A rising spiral framework to help you evaluate how you dealt with perfectionism in your life in the past, how you deal with it now, and how you hope to in the future Practices that have helped us heal perfectionism – and others backed by researchFind us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
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Book a no-charge Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Referenced in the ep:
Episode 25: Perfectionism & Self-Compassion Kristen Neff’s Self-Compassion Break Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Kristen Neff The Gifts of Imperfection&Unlocking Us podcast by Brené BrownFri, 12 Nov 2021 - 1h 02min - 70 - Ep. 58: Dealing with What Scares You
Buckle up: it’s Halloween season, and we’re talking about fear! Fear is a primitive emotion that evolved to protect us from real threats, but it can also hold us back from taking risks that would likely benefit us.
We discuss:
How fear affects our brains and bodies – keeping us safe from short-term threats but causing harm in an ongoing state What scared us as kids and what scares us now – both the tangible and the existential Why the content we consumed as kids in the ‘80s was legit terrifying Strategies for dealing with intangible fears that aren’t actually life-threateningHow do you deal with things that scare you? What advice about fear would you like to share?
* Content warning: In this episode, we talk about our fears as kids and adults, including scary media at about a PG-13 level. We also touch on some deeper existential fears. If these things may be triggering for you, feel free to skip this episode or parts of it. Toward the end, we talk about how to deal with fear, which we all need to do in some way, and we hope those takeaways are helpful.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
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Book a free Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Referenced in this episode:
Your Fear is Boring (Elizabeth Gilbert) “Face Your Fears” music video (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fearby Elizabeth Gilbert Untamed by Glennon DoyleFind research and writing about fear linked from the episode page on our website.
Fri, 29 Oct 2021 - 55min - 69 - Ep. 57: ADHD and Creativity, Parenting, and Identity, with Ginger Williams Cook
October is ADHD Awareness Month.Even if ADHD is not a part of your life, as far as you know, we hope you listen – because it’s likely that you know someone or are someone with undiagnosed ADHD whose life could change with treatment.
And if you don’t have ADHD but struggle with some of the symptoms, like distractibility and procrastination, you’ll likely find the same kinds of strategies helpful.
We interview Melia’s friend and talented artist Ginger Williams Cook, who was recently diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 40, one year after Melia’s diagnosis at the same age.
We talk to Ginger about:
How grief shaped her life and her journey as an artist Her diagnosis story and how she overcame some of the roadblocks she faced Challenges and gifts of ADHD as an artist and a mom How she channels some of her ADHD superpowers, like creativity and hyperfocus Strategies and supports that help her thrive with ADHDContent warning: We discuss mental health issues and briefly touch on suicide in this episode.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Learn more about Ginger Williams Cook http://www.gingerwilliamscook.com and on Instagram at @gingerwilliamscook
Sound effect credit: https://www.zapsplat.com
Fri, 15 Oct 2021 - 1h 24min - 68 - Ep. 56: Making Time for Play
Our topic in this episode is a fun one: making time for more play! We know how important play is for kids. But when we grow up, we somehow start thinking about play as optional or frivolous or childish. Spoiler alert: it’s none of those things and is actually fundamental to our health and well being!
We share:
- The science behind the importance of play at any age
- Examples of types of play and play styles
- Obstacles that can get in the way of play as adults
- Our experiences with play as kids and as adults
- 4 strategies for making time for more play every day
What’s your favorite way to play as an adult? How do you make sure you get recess during your day?Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
Become a patron of the podcast and access bonuses and extras: https://www.patreon.com/semitogether
Book a free Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Fri, 01 Oct 2021 - 54min - 67 - Ep. 55: Re-Entering Our Cocoons
We are so happy to be back with a new season after our summer break. We missed you, and the opportunity to talk things through with each other. Our last minisode at the end of May was called Emerging from Our Cocoons. Welp! How innocent we were. Now we’re halfway back in our cocoons, trying to navigate this weird in-between period.
We check in on what’s been going on and share five ways to deal with uncertainty and frequent change. Along with the launch of Melia’s new practice, Rising Spiral Coaching, we introduce a new segment. In Rising Spiral, we each share a challenge that we keep encountering and track our progress on our learning spirals.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether
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Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
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Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who is coaching self-critics and perfectionists, including adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Wed, 22 Sep 2021 - 59min - 66 - Minisode: Emerging from Our Cocoons
As we re-enter the world and find our new normal, we want to be intentional about what we’re putting back into our lives and what we’re leaving behind. We revisit our minisode from April 2020, “What Do We Carry Forward?” to see what still resonates.
Melia geeks out over the process of metamorphosis, which her daughter’s preschool class has been observing. Did you know that caterpillars dissolve themselves into a goo of cells inside the chrysalis, then grow completely new parts to become a butterfly? The magic of this transformation, and the metaphor for reinventing ourselves as we emerge from COVID quarantine, blows our minds.
Links:
April 2020 Minisode: What Do We Carry Forward?
https://semitogether.com/podcast/what-do-we-carry-forward/
How Does a Caterpillar Turn into a Butterfly? (Scientific American)
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/caterpillar-butterfly-metamorphosis-explainer
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: https://www.semitogether.com
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Thu, 27 May 2021 - 32min - 65 - Minisode: Close Calls as Wake-Up Calls
We both share how we’re feeling after speaking so honestly about our mental health journeys in Ep. 54: Let’s Talk About Mental health. We get emotional as we each recount a terrifying close call that made us grateful to be alive, a wake-up call to remember in tough times. Melia sets the record straight in a For the Record segment, on topics like medication and how to talk about mental health. We encourage you to share these conversations with your loved ones and start your own. Being able to talk about these things can quite literally save lives.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras:https://www.semitogether.com
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Subscribe to our e-newsletter for episode roundups, tips to steal + extras: https://www.subscribepage.com/semitogether
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Sun, 02 May 2021 - 35min - 64 - Ep. 54: Let's Talk About Mental Health
We talk about mental health – ours, yours, and everyone’s – and why it’s so critical to normalize talking about it. We share our own personal experiences, terms to use and avoid, strategies to care for your mental health, and tips for supporting others.
Note: We get into some serious topics including suicide and use adult language, so you may want to listen with headphones.
Find us on the web: https://semitogether.com
Show notes and resource links: https://semitogether.com/podcast/lets-talk-about-mental-health
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Sat, 17 Apr 2021 - 1h 21min - 63 - Ep. 53: How We've Evolved During the Pandemic
As we reach the anniversary of pandemic quarantine, we talk about the ways we have evolved during the past year -- not necessarily in ways that we expected or asked for, but have experienced nonetheless. This is NOT a list of achievements; it's about recognizing the fundamental ways we’ve grown during the toughest year of our lives to date. We encourage you to reflect on how you've evolved, too, and let us know at podcast@semitogether.com.
Find us on the web: https://semitogether.com
Show notes and resource links: https://semitogether.com/podcast/how-weve-evolved-during-the-pandemic
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Fri, 02 Apr 2021 - 45min - 62 - Ep. 52: How Nostalgia Helps Us Cope with Stress
Nostalgia is powerful – and it turns out, experiencing it regularly can boost our mental health, especially during difficult times. In this episode, we share:
Our own experiences with leaning into nostalgia this past year (hello, ‘90s jams, TV show revivals, and fave childhood books!)
Research about nostalgia’s many benefits – like counteracting loneliness, boredom, anxiety and meaninglessness, and promoting healthy coping strategies and feelings of belonging
A few tips for intentionally incorporating more nostalgia into your day-to-day lifeFind us on the web: https://www.semitogether.com
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Fri, 19 Mar 2021 - 42min - 61 - Ep. 51: Top 10 Takeaways from Our First 50 Episodes
We look back on the concepts, tips, and takeaways from our first 50 episodes, choosing 10 that have changed us the most and inspired the most listener response:
- Concept: Get It Together/ Got It Together (a segment in nearly every episode)
Minisode: Practice the Pause
Episode 13: Stop Shoulding
Episode 10: Making Your Dreams Real, with Kristen Ley (“You don't have to be the best to do what you love.")
Episode 40: Good for Her, Not for Me
Episode 3: Have I Evolved? (The “spiral curriculum”)
Episode 11: Paid Work vs. Real Work
Episode 46: All Vibes Welcome for the Holidays
Episode 44: Pressing the Reset Button (Completing the stress cycle)
Episode 50: The F**k It ListLanguage warning: Even though we usually keep our language clean, we do some swearing in this one, so you may want to listen with headphones.
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Fri, 05 Mar 2021 - 45min - 60 - Ep. 50: The F**k It List
Join us in a fun and liberating exercise: The F**k It List. Think of it as the anti-Bucket List. Instead of “Things to do before you die,” it’s “Things to stop doing so you can fully live.” It’s a list of things that don’t bring you closer to the life you want, and therefore bring you farther away from it.
The F**k It List can include big or small things that you may have done out of obligation, or optics, or in service of goals you used to have, but you are consciously letting go of. Because you get to decide!
We share some of the items on our current lists, then talk about some of the questions you can ask yourself to make your own F**k It List.
Language warning:Even though we usually keep our language clean, the title of this episode just doesn’t have the same power if we sanitize it. So you may want to listen with headphones.
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Tue, 23 Feb 2021 - 52min - 59 - Ep. 49: What Are Your Silent Shoulds?
Back in Ep. 13, Stop Shoulding, we discussed why “should” is a word rooted in expectation, obligation, and criticism. Since then, we’ve mostly eliminated it from our vocabulary, which has felt liberating and has significantly boosted our happiness.
Even so, there are still plenty of silent shoulds lurking in our thoughts. Though we may not even be aware of them, they are nonetheless driving our feelings and actions. We surface our most common silent shoulds about career, family (including The Mommy Wars), and life in general and reframe them in a more intentional way. Ultimately, we believe there is no “should” -- WE get to decide what we want and choose to do, and so do you!
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Fri, 05 Feb 2021 - 45min - 58 - Ep. 48: Are You a Scanner or a Diver?
Do you ever feel anxious about not knowing what your calling is, because you’re interested in so many things? Well, you may be a Scanner, and the good news is that you don’t have to limit yourself to just one thing.
When Melia talked in In Ep. 47 about identifying her core purpose, Gill shared some anxiety about still figuring hers out. Soon after (perhaps by kismet!), she discovered the book Refuse to Choose!: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love, by Barbara Sher, which describes two types of people: Scanners and Divers.
Scanners like to scan the horizon for a variety of interests instead of deep-diving into just one. A Diver, on the other hand, is happy being completely absorbed by one field. Melia and Gill talk about which identity resonates for each of them and invite you to share, too.
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Fri, 22 Jan 2021 - 28min - 57 - Ep. 47: Goodbye 2020, Hello 2021!
Happy New Year! It’s FINALLY 2021.
Melia and Gill talk about what they’re taking forward with them from last year, and what they’re happy to leave behind. They check in on how their 2020 goals ended up going in spite of it all, share how they’re paring down their goals for the new year, and offer a few tips to help you think about your own goals.
Big caveat: Survival is still the primary goal right now. If you want to set goals for the year, great! If not, totally understandable. You make the rules, and you don’t have to do anything. If you do set goals, focus on what you truly want, instead of what you think you “should” do.
Find us on the web: https://www.semitogether.com
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Wed, 06 Jan 2021 - 1h 03min - 56 - Ep. 46: All Vibes Welcome for the Holidays
It’s going to be a different kind of holiday season this year, and it’s important to acknowledge and accept the range of emotions we’re feeling. "Good vibes only" isn't realistic or helpful. We are human, and living through very challenging times.
Even in normal years, the holidays can be tough or emotional for a lot of reasons, and the expectation that we will be merry all the time can make us feel even worse.
Melia and Gill share a few ways we can all make space and grace to feel it all this holiday season – accepting what we can’t do, looking for what we can do, embracing an “all vibes welcome” mindset, and making a “Want To Do” list.
Find us on the web: https://www.semitogether.com
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Wed, 09 Dec 2020 - 42min - 55 - Ep. 45: Building Atomic Habits, with Brown Girls Read
Melia and Gill interview Daman Tiwana and Khyati Thakur, hosts of the excellent podcast Brown Girls Read. They chat about books, cocktails, and cultural differences – plus the habit-changing strategies that have helped them the most after reading the book Atomic Habitsby James Clear.
Daman and Khyati met for the first time at a women’s book club meetup and started their podcast earlier this year. Both Daman and Khyati lived in India until they moved to the US for their masters programs, and their discussions about books are through the lens of their unique perspectives and experiences as immigrants and women of color in the US.
Follow Brown Girls Read: https://www.instagram.com/browngirlsreadpod/
Follow Brown Girls Happy Hour: https://www.instagram.com/browngirlshappyhour/
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Fri, 27 Nov 2020 - 58min - 54 - Ep. 44: Pressing the Reset Button
We’ve all been through a lot in 2020, and the weeks leading up to the presidential election were especially stressful and emotional. It’s time to press the reset button to renew our energy and hope.
Melia and Gill recorded this episode two days after Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were announced as the next president and vice president of the United States. They talk about how they’re dealing with intense emotions from the past few weeks (and years!) and how the book Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski has been a game-changer. They share strategies – like movement, laughter, and creative expression – they’re using to move through stress cycles and avoid burnout and chronic stress.
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Wed, 11 Nov 2020 - 39min - 53 - Ep. 43: Thriving with ADHD, with Dr. Michelle Frank
October is ADHD Awareness Month, and Melia has some surprising news to share: she was recently diagnosed with ADHD, at age 40. 😲 ADHD is often missed in girls and women – and a big misconception is that it’s limited to physically hyperactive boys.
In this episode:
Melia talks about her experience, the grief and relief she feels with her diagnosis, and the resources and strategies that are helping her
Melia and Gill debunk five common myths around ADHD
They interview Dr. Michelle Frank, a clinical psychologist who co-wrote a workbook for women with ADHD, who shares strategies for thriving with ADHDTwo reasons to listen:
It’s likely that you know someone or are someone with undiagnosed ADHD whose life could change with treatment.
If you don’t have ADHD but struggle with some of the symptoms, like distractibility and procrastination, you’ll likely find the same kinds of strategies helpful.Follow Dr. Frank: https://www.instagram.com/adhd_doc/
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Wed, 28 Oct 2020 - 1h 17min - 52 - Ep. 42: Ways to Find Connection and Joy in COVID Times
Feeling stressed, exhausted, and anxious as the coronavirus pandemic wears on? Saaaaaame. We’re in a period of collective trauma and global uncertainty, and it’s natural that we are less productive and not our best selves right now.
It’s important to acknowledge that suffering, and the grief about what we can't do right now – AND focus on what we can still do, finding meaningful moments to carry us through. Melia and Gill talk about coping with existential ennui and mini meltdowns, and six ways to find connection and joy in each day.
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Wed, 14 Oct 2020 - 54min - 51 - Ep. 41: Living by The Reverse Golden Rule
The Golden Rule – Treat others how you’d like to be treated – is easy to understand. It’s actually the Reverse Golden Rule that is much more challenging to live by: Treat yourself how you’d like others to be treated.
Melia and Gill discuss why science says it’s so important to be kind to yourself and share five researched-backed strategies for embracing the Reverse Golden Rule in your everyday life.
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Wed, 30 Sep 2020 - 26min - 50 - Ep. 40: Good for Her, Not for Me
Melia and Gill talk about a quote from Amy Poehler’s wonderful memoir, Yes, Pleasethat has helped them be less judgmental of others: “Good for her! Not for me. That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me.”
They share examples of where “Good for her, not for me” has been most helpful – including in relation to parenting, body image and appearance, and big life decisions – plus four tips on how to say it yourself (and mean it sincerely!).
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Wed, 16 Sep 2020 - 28min - 49 - Ep. 39: Dodging the Second Arrow
Melia and Gill discuss the Buddhist parable of the second arrow – the additional pain we cause ourselves when unwelcome things happen – and how to dodge it. This idea can be summed up by an old Buddhist saying made popular by writer Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
We feel the first arrow when we experience something painful, and it’s healthy to acknowledge that pain. But often we shoot a second arrow into ourselves by resisting the pain and turning it into anger, shame, criticism, rumination, etc. Melia and Gill share their second arrows of choice and tips for dodging them.
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Wed, 02 Sep 2020 - 23min - 48 - Ep. 38: Learning to Thrive as an Introvert, Perfectionist, or Highly Sensitive Person, with April Snow
Melia and Gill talk to April Snow, a licensed psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She works with highly sensitive introverts, perfectionists, and high achievers to overcome anxiety, embrace their strengths, and create a life on their own terms.
April talks about why sensitivity is a strength – not a weakness, as we’re often told! – that we can channel to make a positive difference in our lives and the world. She shares advice for sensitive people and recovering perfectionists on how to prioritize self-care, set boundaries, cultivate self-compassion, let go of unrealistic expectations, and learn to thrive.
Follow April: https://www.aprilsnowconsulting.com
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Wed, 19 Aug 2020 - 49min - 47 - Ep. 37: Reimagining Our 2020 Goals
In the first new episode after their season break, Melia and Gill revisit the 20 for 2020 goals they set in January. The past few months have been exceptionally tough: the global pandemic and its repercussions, the long-overdue reckoning with racial injustice, and the mental load and uncertainty about the future that comes with all of it.
Melia and Gill discuss how their goals have changed since the beginning of the year and what’s important to them for the rest of 2020. They share how they’re refocusing on some goals and letting go of the rest – plus four tips to help you reimagine your own goals.
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Wed, 05 Aug 2020 - 35min - 46 - Minisode: Music as Therapy
Melia and Gill share how they’re taking careful steps toward a new normal during COVID-19. They discuss the mental and physical health benefits of music and share ways to use music as therapy.
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Wed, 27 May 2020 - 14min - 45 - Ep. 36: Embracing Emotions at Work, with Liz Fosslien
Melia and Gill talk with Liz Fosslien, the co-author and illustrator of the Wall Street Journal best-selling book No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, with Mollie West Duffy.
Liz offers research-backed advice on how to express our emotions effectively at work. It’s always been tricky to find the right balance – sharing just enough without oversharing. Now that many of us are working from home during a pandemic, we have both a challenge and opportunity to learn to navigate the complex emotions we're all feeling. Liz shares tips for identifying and understanding our emotional needs, communicating digitally with coworkers, and creating a healthy emotional culture on teams.
Follow Liz and find her book: https://www.lizandmollie.com
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Wed, 13 May 2020 - 45min - 44 - Minisode: What Do We Carry Forward?
Melia and Gill recorded this minisode during the COVID-19 quarantine. They check in on how they're doing with it all and discuss the question, “What from this time are you looking to carry forward?”
They like the phrasing of the question, because although none of us knows what exactly the “after this” will look like, we can set our intentions about the lessons and practices we’ll carry forward with us.
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Wed, 29 Apr 2020 - 19min - 43 - Ep. 35: Mindfulness in Tough Times, with Dr. Megan Clapton
Melia and Gill talk to Dr. Megan Clapton, a licensed professional counselor and the founder of Mindful Therapy, about mindfulness, resilience, and coping techniques to get us through difficult times.
Megan talks about what mindfulness is and how practicing it in small ways can help us through moments of stress and anxiety. She also shares strategies and lessons learned from a tough personal experience – being in medical isolation with a serious illness – that are relevant for all of us right now. She encourages us to ride the emotional waves, feeling all the feelings, getting curious about them, and knowing that they’re temporary.
Follow Megan: https://www.instagram.com/mindfultherapy/
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Wed, 15 Apr 2020 - 48min - 42 - Ep. 34: Sharing Your Gifts for a Better World, with Heather Andersen Shellen
Melia and Gill talk to Heather Andersen Shellen, a longtime friend from California, about creating a custom blend of identities, what “real work” and “paid work” mean to her, and how she is trying to move toward a better world through creativity and intentional action. As a stay-at-home parent, she shares her advice for staying sane during the coronavirus quarantine.
Heather is a writer, musician, activist, baker, and generally delightful person. With humor and honesty, she talks about marrying her middle school sweetheart, experiencing heartbreak and hope during struggles with infertility, and raising children in a household that cares about issues of gender, race, and equity.
Follow Heather: https://medium.com/@hshellen
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Wed, 01 Apr 2020 - 54min - 41 - Ep. 33: Turning Setbacks into Comebacks, with Claire Sturzaker
Melia and Gill interview Claire Sturzaker, one of the first friends Gill met when she moved to Barcelona. Claire is a world traveler and creator of the blog Tales of a Backpacker. Claire shares how what seemed like a major setback in her life – getting fired – was actually an opportunity for change, and helped her deal with other obstacles in the future.
They recorded this interview on March 12, and though things have changed quite a bit since then, decided to release it as planned. They discuss how business owners are figuring out how to adapt to COVID-19 and relevant themes like coping with uncertainty, and developing resilience and self-assurance when faced with tough situations.
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Wed, 18 Mar 2020 - 48min - 40 - Minisode: What Depletes and Recharges You
Our busy schedules can drain our energy and leave us feeling tired, cranky, and stressed. If we don’t make time for the activities that rejuvenate us, we start heading toward burnout – and that doesn’t serve us or others around us. Think of yourself like a video game character encountering experiences that power you up or down. Melia and Gill share a few things that deplete and recharge them, as well as seven simple actions to renew your energy.
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Wed, 04 Mar 2020 - 13min - 39 - Ep. 32: Training Your Brain to Expect the Good
Whether you naturally lean toward optimism or pessimism, you can train your brain to zoom in on the good and expect more of it in life. In this episode, Melia and Gill continue the conversation they started in Ep. 15, Choosing Optimism, with research-backed practices for building an optimistic mindset.
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Wed, 19 Feb 2020 - 21min - 38 - Ep. 31: What to Do When You Hit 'The Dip'
What do you do when you hit ‘The Dip’ – that drop in motivation you experience once the excitement wears off a new undertaking?
Marketer Seth Godin describes The Dip as “the long slog between starting and mastery." It’s when the honeymoon period ends, and you wonder if it’s worth continuing to put in effort. Now is a good time to talk about The Dip, when the burst of New Year’s energy is starting to fade. Melia and Gill talk about how to know when to quit and when to push through, and strategies for re-energizing around the goals that are most important to you.
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Wed, 05 Feb 2020 - 32min - 37 - Ep. 30: Balancing Novelty & Familiarity
Melia and Gill discuss the question: What blend of novelty and familiarity brings you the most joy? During the holiday break, when spending time in familiar settings or hosting people who’ve visited before, it’s common to think about how many experiences to repeat and how many new things to try. Each of us is looking for a balance that works for us.
Novel experiences are fun and can do us a lot of good - sparking our desire to learn and explore, keeping our relationships fresh and exciting, even boosting our memory. But there’s also a lot of value in revisiting familiar experiences. Melia and Gill talk about some of the research behind this topic and what some of their own tendencies are, plus share a few tips on how to get the most out of new and repeat experiences.
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Wed, 22 Jan 2020 - 34min - 36 - Ep. 29: 20 for 2020 Goals
Happy New Year! Melia and Gill are excited to reveal their 20 for 2020 lists of goals. Since 2018, they have been doing this alternative to New Year's resolutions, inspired by the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. 20 for 2020 can be a mix of one-time tasks, big milestones, or ongoing goals, or a themed list. Melia and Gill share their goals and the reason behind each one, plus five tips to help you stay on track with your own goals.
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Wed, 08 Jan 2020 - 59min - 35 - Ep. 28: The 7 Principles of Kwanzaa, with Wendy Shenefelt
Melia and Gill interview Wendy Shenefelt, an educator and nonprofit programs director, about the seven principles of Kwanzaa and the practice of self-reflection. Kwanzaa is an annual celebration of family, community, and culture that takes place from December 26 - January 1. It’s an African-American and pan-African holiday, and people from all backgrounds are welcomed to join in the celebration. Wendy shares how Kwanzaa’s seven principles can inspire reflections on personal values and intentional living – during the holiday and throughout the year.
Melia and Gill finish up the year -- and the decade! -- with the segment "I used to ... but now I," in which they each share three ways in which they've evolved between 2009 and 2019.
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Wed, 25 Dec 2019 - 54min - 34 - Ep. 27: Wrapping Up the Year & Revisiting Our Goals
The end of 2019 is a couple of weeks away, and next year we start a new decade! Melia and Gill look back on how they’ve done on their 19 for 2019 goals and what they’ll still be working on in 2020.
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Wed, 11 Dec 2019 - 45min - 33 - Ep. 26: Practicing Gratitude + More on Self-Compassion
In our last episode, we did a deep dive into why perfectionism is harmful and how we can manage it with self-compassion. But we knew we couldn’t cover the entire topic perfectly in one episode. So we have a follow-up segment on self-compassion before getting into our main topic, practicing gratitude – which is an evidence-based tool for healing perfectionism and boosting happiness. Gratitude helps us feel more positive emotions, improve our health, deal with setbacks, and strengthen relationships. Learn how small gratitude practices can make a big difference in your life.
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Wed, 27 Nov 2019 - 31min - 32 - Ep. 25: Perfectionism & Self-Compassion
In our culture, we often talk about perfectionism like it’s a positive character trait. The classic example is answering the dreaded job interview question, “What’s your biggest weakness?” with “I’m a perfectionist,” as a way to show how hardworking and attentive you are. But perfectionism is actually self-defeating and harmful – and its antidote is self-compassion. Melia and Gill share research on the dangers of perfectionism, their own experiences with it, and strategies to help manage it.
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Wed, 13 Nov 2019 - 47min - 31 - Ep. 24: The Shame File
Shame is something we all experience (except sociopaths!), but no one wants to talk about. Melia and Gill give a brief overview of Brené Brown's research on shame – including why it's harmful, how it affects women and men, and how to overcome it. They share how shame shows up in their own lives (hint: The Shame File is an actual document Melia keeps) and steps we can all take to identify our shame triggers and begin to free ourselves of them.
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Wed, 30 Oct 2019 - 38min - 30 - Ep. 23: How to Make Time for What Fuels You
Our busy schedules at work and home can deplete our energy, leaving us feeling scattered and worn out. When we don’t replenish the fuel in our tank, we find ourselves running on empty and heading toward burnout.
We know it’s not always easy to make time for activities that make you feel happy, fulfilled, or energized. But just a few minutes a day, every day, will help renew your energy and sustain you during difficult times, allowing you to make your fullest contribution to your goals and to other people.
In this episode – and a free downloadable workbook, linked below, Melia and Gill share tips for figuring out which activities fuel you and how to make space for them.
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Wed, 16 Oct 2019 - 33min - 29 - Minisode: Change the Plan
When you work toward a goal, you can get so focused that you lose sight of why you're doing it or more effective ways of accomplishing it. In this minisode, Melia and Gill talk about how to Change the Plan (this is a meta topic because they changed their own plan for the podcast this week!). It helps to Practice the Pause, their tip from the previous minisode, and think, “What if we did this another way – or not at all?” Those three words, “What if we…” open up a whole new range of possibilities than what you might have considered.
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Wed, 02 Oct 2019 - 11min - 28 - Minisode: Practice the Pause
We often react to the things that happen automatically, with anxiety, stress, or anger. In this minisode, Melia and Gill talk about Practicing The Pause, putting a bit of space between what happens and how you react to it. Opening up that space helps you tap into your wiser self and choosing how you respond.
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Wed, 18 Sep 2019 - 05min - 27 - Minisode: Celebrate a Second New Year
The beginning of the school year feels like a fresh start – even if it’s been years since you were in school. In this minisode, Melia and Gill talk about why September is the perfect opportunity to celebrate a “second new year,” stepping back and reevaluating your priorities. What do you want to recommit to? What do you want to let go of?
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Wed, 04 Sep 2019 - 06min - 26 - Minisode: Know When to Take a BreakWed, 21 Aug 2019 - 07min
- 25 - Ep. 22: Why We Procrastinate & What To Do About It
We often think about procrastination as a time management or productivity problem – but it’s actually an emotional issue, a way to avoid feeling triggered by our task lists. Melia and Gill share some of the ways that procrastination creates roadblocks in their lives, as well as strategies to overcome it.
Wed, 07 Aug 2019 - 32min - 24 - Ep. 21: Personality Types in Relationships & Life, with The Dudes
Melia and Gill spent a few days together in New Orleans and recorded this episode in person. They invited their husbands, Darren and Brian, back for their second guest appearance on the podcast, to talk about personality types in relationships and in life.
They discuss their own personality types, which can help you figure out your own and those of the people in your life. By knowing our strengths and challenges and what makes us tick, we can better manage conflict and thrive in our work and relationships.
Wed, 24 Jul 2019 - 44min - 23 - Ep. 20: Self-Care Is Not Just For Women, with Chris Myers
In our culture, we often talk about self-care as if it’s only for women. But it’s just as important for men to prioritize their physical and mental health.
Melia and Gill interview their friend and listener Chris Myers, an architect and the father of two young kids, about a guy’s experience with self-care. Chris talks about managing anxiety, making time for habits like meditation, and raising kids (boys in particular) to have good emotional health. And he shares advice for building strong friendships, even when time i
Wed, 10 Jul 2019 - 51min - 22 - Ep. 19: The Year So Far
We’re halfway through the year...what?! In January, Melia and Gill came up with a list of 19 for 2019 goals (inspired by the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast) – some small, some large, some one-offs, some ongoing – to accomplish by December. They talk about where they’re making progress and where they’re not, and share strategies for overcoming obstacles that you can apply to any goal you’re working on.
Wed, 26 Jun 2019 - 40min - 21 - Ep. 18: How Our Language Shapes Our RealityWed, 12 Jun 2019 - 31min
- 20 - Ep. 17: Balancing the Past, Present, and Future
Do you tend to long for the past, wish for the future, or appreciate the present? Research shows that a healthy mix of all three tendencies – a balanced time perspective – fosters greater happiness, optimism, well-being, and life satisfaction. Melia and Gill share their own time perspective tendencies and offer five strategies for finding an optimal balance.
Wed, 29 May 2019 - 30min - 19 - Ep. 16: Breaking Through Limiting BeliefsWed, 15 May 2019 - 33min
- 18 - Minisode: Regrets & Should-Haves Check-InFri, 10 May 2019 - 08min
- 17 - Ep. 15: Choosing Optimism
Your genes and your environment are only part of what makes you an optimist or a pessimist. Scientific happiness research shows that you can adopt small daily practices to rewire your brain for a more positive worldview. Melia and Gill talk about their own tendencies and the "happiness hygiene" habits they're trying.
Wed, 01 May 2019 - 29min - 16 - Minisode: Stop Shoulding Check-InFri, 26 Apr 2019 - 07min
- 15 - Ep. 14: How to Deal with Regrets & Should-Haves
We can spend a lot of time dwelling on regrets, those small and large “should-haves” that haunt us. But obsessing over mistakes and missteps can have a negative impact on our mood, sleep and behavior. Melia and Gill talk about their battles with should-haves and the 5-step process they’re using to make peace with them.
Thu, 18 Apr 2019 - 33min - 14 - Ep. 13: Stop Shoulding
There’s a simple but life-changing action that you can take to be happier starting today: Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary. There is no “should” – it's totally made up! There's only could, want to, and will, and you get to decide which actions fuel the life you want. Melia and Gill discuss their own struggles with “should,” how liberating it is to stop saying it, and what to say instead.
Wed, 03 Apr 2019 - 32min - 13 - Ep. 12: Triggers & How to Cope
We all have triggers that send us into negative moods or downward spirals. When we can identify and be on the lookout for them, we can figure out how to cope. Melia and Gill talk about their own triggers and share in-the-moment audio diaries that capture their raw emotions and strategies to tame them.
Wed, 20 Mar 2019 - 39min - 12 - Ep. 11: Paid Work vs. Real Work
For some of us, our paid work doesn’t fully embody who we are. We may have creative projects, family commitments, side hustles, or jobs we dream of doing that we think of as our most important work at the moment. Melia and Gill explore the concept of what we consider real work vs. paid work and more inclusive alternatives to the question “What do you do?”
Wed, 06 Mar 2019 - 31min - 11 - Ep. 10: Making Your Dreams Real with Kristen Ley
Melia and Gill interview entrepreneur Kristen Ley, founder of creative studio Thimblepress, which has a loyal following around the world. Kristen talks about letting her heart guide her toward her dream job and how she’s adjusted course to stay true to what makes her happy. She shares advice for making your own dreams real and believing that you will succeed.
Thu, 21 Feb 2019 - 40min - 10 - Ep. 9: Change Your Environment to Change Your Habits
It’s surprising how much we can change our habits just by changing our surroundings. Trying to strengthen our willpower or alter our personalities usually sets us up for failure. Instead, you can make some simple, research-based tweaks to your environment to make desirable behaviors easier and undesirable behaviors harder.
Wed, 06 Feb 2019 - 23min - 9 - Ep. 8: The Dudes
Melia and Gill bring their husbands, Darren and Brian, onto the podcast for a special episode, and they all tell the story of how they met. The guys, both entrepreneurs, share a best practice for creating your own business in a segment called Livin' the Dream, as well as a lifehack for Steal This Tip. The episode wraps up with a couples' edition of Get It Together / Got It Together.
Wed, 23 Jan 2019 - 25min - 8 - Ep. 7: Tighten Up & Lighten Up
Melia and Gill record in person for the first time! At the beginning of last year, both tried a new way to set New Year’s resolutions, creating “18 for 2018” lists of goals inspired by the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. In this episode, they share their successes and flops from “18 for 2018” and highlights from “19 for 2019," with tips on how to stick with your own goals.
Wed, 09 Jan 2019 - 34min - 7 - Ep. 6: Prioritizing What Matters, Part IIWed, 02 Jan 2019 - 20min
- 6 - Ep. 5: Prioritizing What Matters, Part I
In the first part of a two-part series, Melia and Gill discuss how to prioritize what matters to you. They introduce a three-step process to help you define your priorities and focus on what’s most important first. They talk about how they're doing with Step 1 and will dig deeper into Steps 2 and 3 in the next episode.
Wed, 19 Dec 2018 - 21min - 5 - Ep. 4: Staying Sane During the Holidays
The holiday season felt magical when Melia and Gill were kids, but it's become more stressful as they've gotten older. With a special holiday edition of Steal This Tip, they share what's helping them focus on the meaningful and not the frenzied part of the holidays.
Wed, 05 Dec 2018 - 23min - 4 - Ep. 3: Have I Evolved?
Melia and Gill ask the question: Have I evolved? When you look back on your past self, how have you changed? What challenges do you face year after year? What do you think you have more together now? They examine a theory of learning called the "spiral curriculum," then introduce a new segment called Like I Always Say.
Wed, 21 Nov 2018 - 19min - 3 - Ep. 2: How to Stick with Resolutions & Goals
Melia and Gill talk about resolutions and goals and how they approach them in each of their lives. They share some of their recurring obstacles and strategies that have helped them stay on track. Then they discuss why the tip, "Visible is memorable," is helpful for reaching goals.
Wed, 21 Nov 2018 - 13min - 2 - Ep. 1: False Starts & Fresh Starts
In the first episode of Semi-Together, Melia and Gill talk about how they are making a fresh start with the podcast after a false start years before. They introduce Get It Together/Got It Together, a segment sharing something in their lives that needs work, and something that’s going well. Then they discuss how to avoid the sunk cost fallacy: wasting more time and energy when something's just not going to work.
Sun, 18 Nov 2018 - 19min
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