Dear Hank & John

Why do Hank and John keep things PG? Why are white sheets the standard ghost costume? How will computers deal with dates beyond the year 9999? If the president was allergic to peanuts, would the White House become a peanut-free zone? In the Garfield comic strip, can John understand what Garfield is thinking? …Hank and John Green have answers!

Why do things happen “at” night but “during” the day? How do you heat food during a power outage? What is an organ? Does moonlight contain UV rays? What are the implications of AI song covers? What’s a better name than Milkdromeda? Hank and John Green have answers!

When do I stop using a bar of soap? What’s the current state of the first plastics ever made?  How do you best judge peoples’ character when dating?  What’s going on with bacteria in my math problem?  How do authors get health insurance?  Hank and John Green have answers!

Why don’t we know why gravity works? What if the Green brothers went on Dancing with the Stars? When jaundiced, do smurfs turn green? Why am I always thirsty even though I drink lots of water? How is Potato doing? Do you ever go down internet rabbit holes learning about the things that plague you? …Hank and John Green have answers!

Why do many romance books release in paperback? Can giraffes swim? Can a mosquito get drunk from biting me? How do I understand supreme court decisions? Should I put ice cubes in my mug before or after pouring my coffee? Hank and John Green have answers!

When will people be buried on the moon or mars? How do I not feel lonely and like a social failure? Do we not have anything interesting to say to ants? At what point is it socially acceptable to refer to how long your business has been open? What’s the deal with art galleries?  Where do ocean creatures go during a storm? Where does the sun get its energy? Hank and John Green have answers!

Would John perform standup if it avoided inconveniencing someone? Which historical figure should be swapped with a dinosaur? Why is everyone so mad about Pluto? How do you solve a problem like Maria? Hank and John Green have answers.

In which Hank and John go on a journey of meaning.

Should tiny characters really have high-pitched voices?  Where do flies sleep? Is a seed a plant?  When, why, and how were hard-shell tacos invented? Should I be concerned about nicotine in potatoes?

Do we have the original copy of the declaration of independence? What animals would have been on Noah’s Ark? What do I do if I accidentally walk into a fancy restaurant?

If everything was the exact same color, would we still be able to see? How long does it take to get to space? How many people are asleep right now?

John has launched a new podcast project with Katie Mack! Crash Course Pods: The Universe is a new limited series podcast where Dr. Katie Mack, a theoretical astrophysicist, walks John Green through the history of the entire universe - including the parts that haven’t been written yet.

What do I do with a life-sized Shaq? Are humans a super-organism? What is a pet to do when their person sneezes?

What is toothpaste? What counts as a rare book? What would happen if Gamera hugged the moon?

How do vitamins get assigned letters? How do I deal with a fear of worms? How do gel fingernails work?

Why does my cat put her mice in the water bowl? How much would it cost to build a real Lego house? Why do batteries bounce when they're dead?

What's a good place to put stickers? How do I convince my friends to join me in a wolf-and-bear enclosure? Did astronauts know about low gravity on the moon before they got there?

How do you stop caring whether people like you?35:51.395 Why would a 21st century suburban high school have to test for tuberculosis? Has humanity peed an entire ocean yet?

How do I choose what college to apply to? Am I gonna forget everything I learn in school? What do I do after college?

Why don't batteries last very long? Does Spider-man have to brush his teeth? Can a goose do math?

Why do humans have butts? Why does John sound weird this week? Are we doing anything tonight?

What's up with the Green brothers in 2024?

Where is the bit line? Why are some jenga blocks harder to pull than others? Would the moon be the same brightness if it was a different color?

Are orcas the only animals that sink ships? Will vodka give flowers a second wind? What pelican-related dreams have you had?

How do I get my significant other on board with Taylor Swift? Would Taylor Swift be a good president? What's your opinion on Napoleon Dynamite?

Do my pets have better circulation than me? What's the organizational structure of an anarchy club? How do I return a key to someone I don't talk to anymore?

Why is unsalted water called freshwater? How long would it take to drink a swimming pool? How do I gently reject a fish?

Hey, what's up with the podcast now? And how do I destroy a thatched roof in a wind tunnel?

Why do we have Eastern and Pacific time zones? What would happen if I blended a smoothie for a year? What's the most versatile food?

What the heck is going on with Dear Hank and John for the next four to six months?

How do I find meaning in life? f Neanderthals were around today, would they understand memes? Where is it 5 o'clock right now?

Should cars have two horns? Why are humans the only animal that uses toilet paper? How do cowboys say goodbye?

Where does the word delete come from? Could a potato take a picture? What shoes are best at deflecting cleats?

Are roaches a moral failing? How do they do surgery on a fish? Why do only old people like stinky cheese?

Do fish get thirsty? What are some alternatives to "Sun's Out, Guns Out"? What's the next big sick?

What does water smell like? Is my perception of time related to my heart rate? Why can't I smell ants?

Are there any liquid planets? Why do I like crickety leg rubbing? What do I wear to an orchestral Ratatouille event?

Why do we put butter in that thing in our fridges? What's the best donut you've ever had? How do I make a Dr Pepper cheesecake?

Do mouse burp? Does skiing get better? What's the loudest a sound could be?

Can I use eggwater for coffee? How many pancakes are required for a stack? What's some good cheese-grating small talk?

Why can't I sneeze on command? Does every region have their own secret sodas? Why don't people say things are going North?

Can fish see water? How do you decide what to write about? How many questions can two brothers answer in a single podcast episode?

Did people used to think they would die of colds? What does "have a good one" mean? When can I compliment a stranger?

What person growth have you seen in your life? Why doesn't my heart feel sore after exercise?

Which uncle is most likely to underpay you? How do eyes wear a sundress? What are your New Year's Hot Takes?

What can I do in an empty library? Can a horse and a dinosaur have kids? Is the sun up there silently screaming for all eternity?

Does it really take one to know one? What do I say when I hand someone blood? How do I keep my impact in perspective?

Why aren't people over 18 called majors? How does irradiation work? How long have artichokes been around?

What would you do with $44 billion? How important are consistent beliefs? Who decides collective nouns?

Who decides how a name is pronounced? What would you preserve for the future? Have you purchased your burial plots yet?

Why is it harder to wake up during inclement weather? What's the difference between an -ology and an -onomy? Where should I get my next tattoo?

Where does paper go when you cut it? Were silent letters always silent? Why do you only smell smells when you inhale?

What would happen to a dead body on the moon? Where could I live that is furthest away from venomous creatures? How do I be brave in the dark?

No questions this week! Just a real human conversation about pilfered lemurs, secret playlists, and past mortifications.

Could you break out of a giant pickle? How do I pretend I know what someone's talking about? How do I handle people who don't like Rocky Horror?

Is time just an increase in entropy? How do you handle pizza emergencies? What beverage do we leave out on Pizzamas Eve?

Is stomach acid inside our bodies or outside our tubes? How do bats aim poop? How do La Croixs get their flavor?

Would being caught just before hitting the ground still hurt? Where does the air inside of bell peppers come from? How do you get better at trivia?

How often does the moon go around the Earth? Are bugs alright? What is the animal version of "humanity"?

How do I house sit for 100 ducks? How do I move a tectonic plate? How do power lines explode balloons but not birds?

What if an asteroid hit a volcano that was ready to erupt? Would a rocket and a bullet go through Jupiter's center? Would you tell anyone if you found oil on Mars?

HIs the Earth really round? How do I find out about food recalls? Why are the planets different at different distances from the sun?

How does something absorb light? Is it okay to disagree with movie reviews? Is it bad luck to open an umbrella in a car?

How do I respond to decade old bread texts? How do woodpeckers not get concussions? Would Earth's destruction be bad for Mars?

Why is it easier to keep a moving bicycle upright? How does my stomach growl? Why were dinosaurs so big?

How do I learn to fart? Do I dream of invisible sounds? Can you use a vacuum inside a vacuum?

How do I tell someone I don't like orange soda? What do I write in the yearbook for someone who failed my class? What do I do with Too Much Peanut Butter?

How do we know what happens in black holes? What's the best plant for a typewriter-shaped flower pot? Why do we have capital letters but not numbers? Where do I get a Crash Course Coin???

Do I address a mis-sent crab flyer? Do snakes need to stretch? Is there a purpose to having music around ad breaks?

What grade would we get as an alien's homework? How do you write an email? Is it okay to buy used books?

Should I pick dandelions? What is a "vibe" scientifically speaking? Why can't we send our garbage into space?

Why is the computer mouse cursor tilted? What does my dog know about mirrors? Will a badger respect my pee?

How often should a woodpecker poop? What do I do about workplace ants? Can a friend be a +1?

Do bees know what they're doing? Do you worry that you'll run out of thoughts? What are the implications of a tiny plastic baby?

How are art eras named? How do I feel about a somewhat small accomplishment? How do move on from gnomes?

Revisit some of the most memorable moments from episodes 200-300!

Why don't we have mouth roombas? Is the universe full of chickens? What was the first internet purchase?

Are there more wheels or doors? Are there more teeth or more legs? Why do firefighters have Dalmatians?

What does "net zero carbon emissions" mean? How do I maintain motivation consistency? Is there a way to eat asparagus without your pee smelling weird?

How do you eat salad without looking weird? When does "late" turn into "stood up"? How do I find people who want what I make?

Should I work for a company that doesn't align with my values? Where do millionaires keep their money? What dinosaur had the most delicious eggs?

Do we really need leap days? How do I explain mortality to people who question my flowers? Do my cells have families and sentience?

What would happen if we carbonated the ocean? How do I be less competitive? Is the Library of Congress an actual library?

Why isn't space hot? How big would a city have to be to hold everybody? How do I get my parents to ease up?

Where should I practice the banjo? Why am I allowed to walk up to Starry Night? Why doesn't gum stick to teeth?

Why do spoons flip reflections on one side? How do we know the Northern Hemisphere is on top? What's the closest flammable planet?

How would you like to be bronzed? How did 2021 go? Where's the Complexly logo exit?

Can I return to a coffee shop if I forgot sugar and cream? Why is Ryan Reynolds on today's podcast? How do I explain that the Ryan Reynolds I married is not today's guest?

Why are American English classes so intent on finding meaning? How would sound work through Gabriel's Horn? Does nobody really like you when you're 23?

What luggage should I buy? How do I arrange to be fossilized after my death? How do we know the universe is expanding?

Could we clone a neanderthal today? Would I get sick if I ate the Mona Lisa? What is the skin of your teeth?

Who decided what pen colors were professional? Do you have any advice for stage fright? If you dropped something in a hole drilled all the way through earth, where would it end up?

How do I be less dependent on my phone? What happens if you eat the scoby? Where did museums come from?

Wouldn't it be easier to genetically engineer a martian than terraform Mars? How do mirrors represent distance? Should I wear my Pizza John mask to jury duty?

What can a license plate tell you? Which person is the piggy in the piggy back ride? Can non-cherry fruits be maraschinoed?

What is indigo? Would we notice if everything in the universe got bigger? If I fell through a cloud, would I get wet?

How fast to you have to be to follow the sunset? Should a three-headed dog have three names? Why do car speedometers go so high?

How do I bail on a high school I never attended? Should I attend my high school's do-over prom? How does gravity affect lemon men?

How much does a rainbow weigh? Where is Voyager headed? What does "not unkindly" mean?