So This Is Love

Growing up under his father’s terrifying authority, Shaka developed wounds that ran deep—wounds that followed him into adulthood, affecting his self-worth, connections, and eventually mental health. In this narration, we see how a young man’s story reminds us of the powerful impact that parental influence has on our development. We also are taken through a compelling account of a man’s journey to becoming a better man especially now when he finds himself in a familiar yet novice position, fatherhood. What is different this time is that, Shaka is on a mission to break the cycle of pain and abuse. For anyone carrying scars from the past, Shaka’s story reminds us that healing is possible.

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On this episode of So This Is Love, we delve into the emotional journey of sibling relationships and how family dynamics can shape, and sometimes shatter, the bonds we once held dear. In a detailed recounting of events, Kate opens up about the deep rift that formed between her and her older sister Ashley, a relationship that was once filled with tenderness. Through her story, we explore the painful lessons learned when family ties are tested by competition, betrayal, and parental dysfunction.

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When Njoki moved to the city, she was ready to chase her dreams of a university degree. Struggling to make ends meet, she thought she’d found her escape when a wealthy older man, Njue, entered her life, offering her everything she needed—financial freedom, business success, and a world of luxury. But just as her life seemed perfect, a shocking revelation changed everything. 

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Love, betrayal, and the road to redemption. In this episode, we dive into one man's journey of reckoning with his past, the struggles of loving without knowing how, and the painful consequences of losing the one who mattered most. Can healing truly happen after the damage is done? Listen to Mathew's raw and transformative conversation on growth and second chances as we explore the complexities of relationships, control, and healing on the path to becoming a better partner and parent. Everybody, welcome to Season 4 of So This Is Love. Consider supporting this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or PayPal ⁠sothisislovepodcastke@gmail.com⁠

When the person we love has been unfaithful, we are overcome with shock, hurt and feelings of deep betrayal. In this moment, it is impossible to think of how we could have possibly contributed to our partner’s actions. The circumstances around Ruth and Nathan’s first meeting were not ideal, but the pair nonetheless fell in love. In this story, Ruth takes us on a journey of grief, complete loss of identity in motherhood and an admirable ownership of one's shortcomings in love. Everybody, welcome to So This Is Love’s Season 3 Finale. You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or PayPal ⁠sothisislovepodcastke@gmail.com⁠

There is a saying that goes something like, ‘A father’s love is his daughter’s first love’. So then what happens to the girl when a father’s love is inconsistent, unstable or altogether unavailable? What is it about being human that makes us recreate traumatic relationships from childhood to adulthood instead of redesigning an opposite experience for a better life? In this story, Absocondita takes us through a journey that forces her to figure out the definition of love from a man, while having no example of the same from her early life. You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or PayPal ⁠sothisislovepodcastke@gmail.com⁠

In this story, Zoe leaves everything she knows behind to start a new life with Tim in a new country. In slow unfolding anticipation we hear how Zoe navigates through the highs of young romance, the lows of broken promises, and the triumphant return to self-emporement. Tune in to explore the complexities of relationships, the resilience of the human spirit, and the transformative power of finding oneself amidst life's greatest challenges

Do you ever wonder if the good guys finish last? From teenage infatuation to the allure of adventure, Sasha's quest for excitement leads her down unexpected roads. But amidst heartbreak and fleeting romances, one constant remains: Joseph, the steadfast friend always by her side. Join us as we unravel Sasha's winding path, filled with highs and lows, as she navigates the complexities of life, love, relationships and spirituality. 

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In this episode, we are taken on a ride through Bella's story with unrequited love and self-discovery. Join us as Bella recounts her tumultuous journey with Jamey, navigating the complexities of love, self-worth, and the pursuit of happiness in the face of unreciprocated affection. Listen in as she shares the poignant lessons learned from her youthful heartbreak, shedding light on the transformative power of resilience and self-love.

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How long should you hold on to an issue before speaking up for yourself? What do you do when your partner completely changes for the worse as soon as you choose to go all in? How much should people know about what is going on in your relationship when looking for support? These are some of the questions that Jane asked herself when her relationship with the man she was about to marry quickly began to fall apart. As things slowly turn from bright to dark, Jane is forced to decide if it is more valuable to save face or choose herself in a situation that eventually threatens her safety.

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When we fall in love, it is automatic that we desire safety and security in our relationships. In the heteronormative context, women generally celebrate a partner that offers emotional, physical, and financial security and this is exactly what Silver promises Ray when they meet - right at the moment that Ray finds herself in a tight spot and is, in her words, in need of rescue. Join us as we listen to a young woman who loses and then finds her confidence in a situation where hopeless surrender is at first an easier option.

You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or PayPal sothisislovepodcastke@gmail.com

There are a couple of things that we are optimistic, if not sure of,  in our youth; the future and love. However, for many of us, our twenties are overwhelmingly crammed with challenges that are designed to set us up for a more stable adulthood - if we pay heed to the lessons. From Young Love to Self-Love, join us as Jane shares her journey of navigating a 7-year relationship, from the highs of love and motherhood to the lows of betrayal and heartbreak. Tune in as she reflects on lessons learned and the power of self-worth in her personal growth.

You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or PayPal sothisislovepodcastke@gmail.com

As children, we idolize our parents often holding them to impossible standards. As little girls, this admiration is magnified towards our fathers, our first ‘supermen’’. That is until we grow up. Until innocence gives way to awareness and we slowly realize that our parents are not superheroes. Not only that,  but that they are deeply flawed; unsure, anxious and not always right. This runs especially true for Grace whose father’s unfortunate addiction finds her and her family in a constant state of dire straits. Listen to hear how Grace, who so much loves her father, finds her drive to keep her family alive, together and afloat.

You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or PayPal sothisislovepodcastke@gmail.com

Acceptance is a feeling longed for by all, man and beast, and is at the heart of all our desires. It’s also something that we tend to hold on to even when a connection is falling apart because we fear that we may not find it with someone else. Now imagine living a life where you have a stigmatized health condition that makes acceptance not only scarce but diminishes your hopes of ever finding a lifelong partner. Tawi lived such a life. That was until she met Harvey. In this story, we follow a young woman who begins life under inadvertent circumstances that follow her as she is coming of age and threaten the chances of fulfilling this core human need; a need to belong, to be loved, to be accepted. Welcome to season 3 everybody.

You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or PayPal sothisislovepodcastke@gmail.com

Surprise!

A long story. Julia's Story.

I dedicate this episode to my younger self; know that you are loved.

Thank you Lydia KM.

Jules.

University life was an adventure to anticipate as Mumbi began her studies for the first time in a mixed boy-girl school environment. When she met Theo, it was nothing to write home about - at first. In fact, Mumbi ghosted Theo. That changed however when a romance developed between the two and Mumbi was enchanted by the charm, charisma and confidence of the man she in the end painfully loved beyond herself and eventually to the detriment of her health and studies. Today, Mumbi tells us about an on-again off-again 7-year relationship that started off well, perfect even, and ended in total despondency. 

A warning to our listeners today, this episode contains graphic depictions of domestic abuse. If this might be triggering for you, you might want to skip this episode. You can support this podcast via our Mpesa till number 9095819 or PayPal juliagaitho@gmail.com

Growing up as a pastor’s child, Phoebe lived a relatively sheltered life albeit a life that was good. However, as time went on and she developed into adulthood, she yearned for love, a relationship, one that would soothe the loneliness that plagued the quiet corners of her life. When Pete appeared, Phoebe was at first reluctant but soon fell in love with a man who was different from her in many but exciting ways. What was at first a loving relationship soon turned into a nightmare. We are taken on a disheartening journey as Phoebe painfully narrates how she navigated a toxic, cyclic, and abusive bond with a man she struggled to let go of despite infidelity and abuse.

A warning to our listeners today, this episode contains graphic depictions of suicide and domestic abuse. If this might be triggering for you, you might want to skip this episode. You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or paypal juliagaitho@gmail.com

As children, we idolize our parents. We place them on pedestals of all-knowing and all-having until one day, we realize who they really are. In this episode, Jill tells us of her struggle with this newfound awareness that came all too soon for her upon discovering that her father is an alcoholic. It takes just one event to question her entire childhood interactions with a man she describes when young as jolly, totally engaged, and doting. This traumatic event is a marker that plagues into her adulthood as she struggles to love again a man who chooses the bottle over her.

It’s not news anymore that during and after the lockdowns caused by the pandemic, we saw an increase in divorce, breakups, and even domestic violence across the globe. Rose and Seb were not exempt from this. After being together for over 10 years, in just a couple of months, Rose saw a shift in her relationship that brought into focus issues that were probably always bubbling under but easily masked by day-to-day life and routine.  You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or paypal juliagaitho@gmail.com

For many of us today, we cannot imagine being in a romantic relationship where sexual intimacy is consensually not part of the package. In this episode, Zara takes us through a journey of intense love and loss experienced within the context of her religion. We are reminded of the many, mostly invisible parts of human connection that take us up and down the roller coaster of falling in love. You can support this podcast via our mpesa till number 9095819 or paypal juliagaitho@gmail.com

Among many benefits, friendships offer us the opportunity to belong, love, grow and find a sense of identity. In this episode, we meet Kaz who admits that unlike many people, she has always placed a greater value on friendships than romantic relationships. At an age where she thinks it is difficult to make new genuine friends, Kaz stumbles upon one of  those once in a lifetime connections with Her. And thus begins the journey of adventure, excitement, betrayal and finally, acceptance.

In this episode, Rainbow takes us through a harrowing narration of love, loss, and abuse experienced in an era that for many are the golden years of young adult life. Grey, a man she describes as the first person she truly ever loved, is from the onset a deeply troubled soul who despite his lukewarm affection is able to lure Rainbow into a 6-year toxic entanglement that leaves us desperately yearning for her liberation. If you or someone you know is in an unsafe environment of abuse, please reach out to these hotlines for support: 911 -police, 112- police, 1195 National GBV hotline, ‎+254 800 730 999 - Police GBV hotline, 116 - Childline Kenya or report to the nearest police station/ chiefs camp. You can support us here: Mpesa Till Number 9095819 or PayPal - juliagaitho@gmail.com.

For most of her life, Alison could not foster strong, solid friendships, and her mother's death in secondary school only isolated her further from people she would have wanted to connect with. But in university, everything changed. Alison takes us through her story of loss and redemption as her experiences in friendship and sisterhood teach her how to intentionally keep those she loves in her life, and this time, on her own terms. You can support us here: Mpesa Till Number 9095819 or PayPal - juliagaitho@gmail.com.

Welcome to Season 2!

In this episode, Wanja meets George and despite caution from her friends, falls head over heels in that all-too-familiar, typical, teenage romance kind of way. In an effort to solidify the relationship, Wanja compromises on a number of her morals and boundaries. Her love for George stands unshaken even after a lack of clear commitment and thereafter discovering she is pregnant. We cannot help but empathize with Wanja as she fights hard not to repeat what seems to be a generational misfortune when the issue of paternity arises. Listen on Spotify or wherever you find your podcasts. You can support us here: Mpesa Till Number 9095819 or PayPal - juliagaitho@gmail.com.

In today’s episode, Amy takes us back to her early twenties when she relocates to America and soon after falls in love with a charming and young Greg. In her pursuit of a college degree, stable career and fulfilling relationship, Amy is faced with a series of problems that challenge her sense of reality, personal worth, identity, and confidence. Amy takes us through a journey where she loses her voice, where her desire for love is scorned, and one where in the end, she refuses to stay subdued.

In today’s episode, Roxy takes us through her journey of love and loss while taking ownership of her own actions around infidelity and lack of self-love that ultimately led to the end of a romantic relationship. From this story, we see a young, naive, sweet, and endearing Roxy slowly transform into a more self-aware, self-loving, and mature woman. She continues to fight for her voice, mental wellness, and happiness and we cannot help but root for her.

Today, Kevin transports us from Nairobi, Botswana, New York, Abidjan, and back to Kenya as he narrates a beautiful love story that fought to stand the test of time, distance, and culture. Through this story, we are forced to reflect on our personal journeys with self-love, resilience, and acceptance. Kevin is a writer, activist, and podcaster. 

You can find the book he co-edited here https://taboommedia.com/2022/08/02/taboom-and-gala-launch-courage-to-share-vol-2-in-our-queer-activism-in-africa-anthology-series/

In today's episode, Shelly finds a one-of-a-kind love; the kind of love she never thought possible for her, only to discover that the man she for the first time her life saw a future with, was married. Shelly takes us through a harrowing narration of heartbreak, loss, addiction, and self-love.

Today, Cynthia takes us through her whirlwind romance with Jenny; a relationship she describes as one that made her feel for the first time in her life 'understood'.  Through her calm and soothing delivery, we are taken through a powerful narration of attraction, love, and the search for identity in a world that is still coming to the understanding of who we chose to call our own.

In this episode, an eloquent, matter-of-fact and undeniably free-spirited Wanjeri takes us through her cyclic romantic journey with The Bull. She opens our minds to unorthodox possibilities in relationships while circling back to the inevitable everyday realities she faced and continues to face with the man she describes as someone that allowed her to color outside the line. Wanjeri's enchanting way of storytelling is captivating and one cannot help but imagine what it would be like to just maybe, once in a while, take a big bite out of life. 

Today, soft-spoken but witty Steven opens up about the challenges in a former long-term relationship that ultimately led to its end. We are taken on a journey through his narration that touches on issues around personal growth, co-dependency, and a regular taboo subject - money and wage gaps in traditional male and female roles within a relationship.

In this episode, Roland* discusses the importance of self-awareness against societal expectations when embarking on a relationship with someone. He takes us on a journey of love, marriage, and divorce while every so often taking a moment to reflect on personal growth and how this impacts who you become as a man.

Welcome to episode one of So This is Love. In this episode, Melody* takes us through a whirlwind teenage romance that ends in anguish, depression, and violence well into her twenties. In the end, Melody finds her voice and is able to love herself again after years of mental and physical abuse. Due to the nature of this episode, we encourage those who can be triggered by depictions of this nature, to sit this one out. We will be back in two weeks and you can catch up with us then! 

Lots of Love,

Jules.

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