Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

My guest this week is Sara Kaufman-Bradstreet from No More Wasted Days In this Episode:- Sara's drinking escalated slowly over the years, starting in her twenties and continuing into her forties, with rules and moderation attempts that failed over time. She struggled with Mommy Juice Culture: Sara discusses how alcohol was normalized in social settings with other moms, making it hard to quit drinking without feeling isolated. Sara worried about how quitting drinking would impact her relationship with her husband since drinking was such a shared activity. It was a heavy drinking cruise experience which served as a wake-up call, making her realize the unsustainable nature of her drinking lifestyle Even moderate drinking resulted in constant low-level hangovers, impairing her productivity and energy levels. It was only when she quit that she realized how much alcohol was affecting her daily life. These realisations led Sara to commit to a 30-day alcohol break that ultimately turned into permanent sobriety. She found that quitting drinking freed up mental space and energy, improving her focus on family, work, and personal growth. She no longer had to set or break drinking rules, which gave her a sense of liberation. Quitting alcohol also led to increased confidence - her self-esteem improved, and she became more secure in living life on her own terms, not worrying about others' opinions After quitting drinking, Sara found herself enjoying food more freely, no longer restricting calories or saving them for alcohol, which led to physical improvements like losing belly bloat. After quitting, Sara noticed a significant increase in productivity. She tackled long-neglected household tasks and even started building a house, something she never would have taken on while drinking. Early sobriety felt awkward at social events, but over time, she learned to embrace being more present and listening more in conversations. Sara adopted daily gratitude journaling and affirmations as tools to shift her mindset from deprivation to empowerment, helping her maintain a positive outlook in sobriety. I asked Sara for some tips for people in early sobriety… Sara advises people to start by making a deal with themselves to go for a set number of days without alcohol, such as 30 days. If 30 feels too long, she recommends starting with shorter goals and gradually increasing the duration. We agreed that we have to replace the Alcohol Buzz Naturally: Activities like exercise, making lists, listening to music, and doing personal tasks became replacements for the buzz she used to seek from alcohol. Like many of us in this space Sara became passionate about sobriety and she launched her “No More Wasted Days” website where she guides people through a 30 day challenge and also offers coaching More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcas

My guest today is Tribe Member David Jacobs – David did our Dry January Challenge, came to one of our Bootcamps and has been alcohol free ever since In this episode:- David began drinking at university and went on to experience cycles of moderation alternating with binge drinking. He turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism during stressful periods Although he recognized the negative impact that alcohol was having on his physical health and mental health he didn’t know how to make a change Davids wake up call came when he was David's welcome call came when he was diagnosed with diabetes – that’s when he knew he had to make a change…  So he participated in our dry January challenge in 2023, which led him to a his eventual decision to quit drinking. As he heads towards his second Soberversary I asked David for some of the benefits he has experienced:- He’s gained mental clarity and has been able to reassess his life choices. Along with the clarity of thought he found the courage to make significant career changes, leading to starting a new business. He reduced his fast food intake which led to weight loss and a significant improvement in his glucose scores within 3 months We discussed the importance of educating young people about the harm that alcohol can cause I loved Davids take on sobriety as a form of decolonization and activism – an angle he used to get young people to see alcohol in a different way David's tip to anyone planning to quit drinking is to remember that the easiest drink to refuse is the first one! So if you’d like to connect with David and our other awesome members then to go tribesober.com/join our tribe Did you know that 40% of Tribe Sober members are now alcohol free? – people like David They stick around because they love the community and they enjoy helping new members to discover the magic of alcohol free living More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year.  Registration for the current program is open   - more info on tribesober.com We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention In this episode:- I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle The Breaking Free program has four components… Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation… The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program  We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom.  Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session.  By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:- The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead. While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace.  You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key…. Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it! The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future. The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support.  You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call to hear your story and give you some personal guidance A session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love.. Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives….  Both of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass. While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands…. As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time! Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open - more info on tribesober.com More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say

My guest today is Professor Karla Kaun – who works at the Department of Neuroscience at Brown University. Karla has been running a lab which studies neural and molecular mechanisms of addiction since 2013. In this episode:- Karla’s research is around how alcohol and drugs influence our natural reward mechanisms. She explained how they will overwhelm natural reward pathways, causing intolerable cravings and reduced impulse control. Addiction is a disorder where brain circuits work differently, prioritizing reward-seeking despite negative consequences. As many of us who became dependent on alcohol discovered addiction forms slowly and only with repeated use Of course different individuals have varied timelines and susceptibility to addiction. Many of our Tribe used alcohol socially in their twenties and thirties and then used it to manage stress as they got older Mindset in Recovery: We agreed that overcoming addiction requires a mindset change and viewing life differently. We are big on mindset here at Tribe Sober – we help our members to realise that they don’t have a drinking problem so much as an opportunity to change their lives for the better If you’re ready to embrace this opportunity then just to ts.com and join our tribe Another mindset shift our members get is the realisation that they have gained so much in sobriety…and lost very little by quitting alcohol Just hangovers, anxiety and exhaustion! So Karla explained that a growth mindset and seeing setbacks as learning opportunities are crucial. That’s why we give people a 66 day tracker for our Challenge…we don’t ask them to be perfect, we ask them to be curious… how many alcohol free days can they manage out of 66? This will bring about positive change through step-by-step goals Karla explained how addiction is a disorder of memory, with sensory memories such as holding a glass can trigger cravings. We talked about blackouts which will affect memory circuits and neuron communication. When I learned that my blackouts were preventing the formation of new memories I realised I had to quit Long-term alcohol use causes lasting changes in the brain, Drinking rewires our brain but we due to the plasticity of our brains we can recover Rather than aiming to go back to exactly how we were before we can rewire our brains a bit differently in recovery I loved Karla’s orchestra analogy – imagining our brain orchestra to be out of tune when we are in active addiction but then when we quit the orchestra can begin to function again Perhaps it won’t play exactly the same music as before we started drinking but it can create a new (and maybe even more beautiful) symphony in sobriety and of course Lifestyle changes, diet, sleep, and exercise can aid in brain plasticity and recovery. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.

My guest today is author and Sober Coach Dupe Witherick who specialises in mindset, manifestation and human design. In this episode:- Dupe began drinking more when she got to university. Her drinking continued to ramp up when she began working as a management consultant She worked in the City of London where the work-hard, play-hard culture prevailed After having her daughter, Dupe joined the mommy juice culture. We discussed the normalization of drinking to cope with parenting Dupe was smart enough to notice at the age of 40 that alcohol was not really serving her… She realized drinking had become a habit rather than enjoyment. She stopped drinking in November 2020 initially for a 21-day challenge but was so blown away by the benefits of alcohol free living she carried on.. Her Top 3 Benefits were:-  Improved physical health, such as running and yoga.  Enhanced clarity, bravery, and sense of purpose.  Greater appreciation for nature & everyday pleasures. Dupe's increased clarity led her to question her corporate career and she decided to train as a coach. She has now transitioned from her corporate role to a coach. Specializing in alcohol-free well-being and transformational coaching. During the conversation we heard how Dupe’s life changed when she ditched the booze… She got fitter, started to enjoy everyday pleasures again and achieved the mental clarity to see that it was time for a complete career change She also had the courage to leave her corporate job and work independently as a coachj It all started with a 21 day Challenge You heard her encouraging people to take a break from alcohol to assess what impact it’s really having on your life.. Dupe has written a book called "A Cocktail of Clarity," to encourage to explore alcohol-free living. She has her own podcast which is called Thrive Alcohol Free and her website is thrivealcoholfree.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

My guest today is the fabulous Nicole Klassen who did our very first 66 day challenge back in 2018 and as a result wrote here stunning blog called 66 Days of Feelings In this episode:- Nicole knew that she was on a slippery slope when she realized that she actually preferred to drink alone rather than being with other people.  So although her drinking started as a social thing, as she got older she just wanted to focus on her wine rather than the other people. She told us how emotional she felt in her early days of sobriety. She spent lots of time crying. Even cooking shows on TV would make her cry!  When we've been numbing ourselves for years with booze, I think we have to be prepared for this, and get journaling. That's what Nicole did to process her emotions, and it led to her 66  Days of Feelings blog. That blog was actually the longest thing that she'd written for ages, and she felt that she was finding her voice again. She became a really good observer of her own behaviour.  Although Nicole found the physical detox part at the beginning of her sobriety quite tough, gradually the benefits clicked in, and she just loved the way that she lost her puffiness and then went on to lose 10 kgs. The challenge marked such a big turnaround for Nicole, a really big shift, as she realized that all of her feelings, whether they were good or bad were necessary.  She also realized that behavior is triggered by a feeling. Which in turn is triggered by a story from your past.  Since she stopped drinking, Nicole has become much more consistent. She's more productive in her work, and she's busy developing a much better relationship with her body.  We talked about the feminization of alcohol, and the way brands target women.  Nicole has a marketing background, and she's seen how this works from the inside. The trick for us all is to see through these campaigns, see through the BS, and then we are free from their influence. Nicole has been thriving in her sobriety for the last 5 years..ever since doing the 66 day Challenge We agreed that anyone who is even slightly concerned about their drinking should take a break from alcohol to check their dependence  If you are drinking more than the low risk limits of one and a half bottles of wine a week then it’s really important to take a break now and again – to let your body recover To sign up for the Challenge just go to tribesober.com and you’ll #Sober66 on the homepage More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from oth

In todays episode I’m chatting to Kai from Switzerland signed up for our very first 66 day Challenge back in 2018 and it changed his life. He's 6 years sober now! in this episode:-  Kai read about us in his in flight magazine when he was on holiday in South Africa several years ago.  He took a photo on his phone, and he left it there for a couple of years.  He didn't contact us, but the seed was sown, and when he heard about our 66 day Challenge, he decided to give it a go. The fact that it was autumn rather than spring in Europe.  He realized that was the 66 day challenge and he was ready for it. He went online to check the science behind those 66 days and he became pretty convinced that it could make a difference.  Now what's really interesting about Kai's story is that he was only planning to do the challenge. Do you remember how he said that he loved challenges? He had absolutely no intention of giving up drinking for good. But as he went through his 66 days, he noticed some little shifts happening.  he was quite vocal on our WhatsApp group. We loved, the chats that he gave us. He told us lots of, anecdotes about his evenings with his father in law, who was horrified that he wasn't drinking the fine wine. He told us stories about his days with business colleagues, and how they were pretty amazed as well.  Apart from sharing his stories on there, he noticed that some people were really struggling. And he decided that, he didn't really ever want to be like that. And he heard other people on the WhatsApp group saying that they felt great, and they were going to give up drinking forever. Now, that shocked him and inspired him at the same time. And the third thing that I noted was that Kai's children played a big role in his journey. Do you remember his son told him that, in fact, he hated the way that his dad smelt of alcohol sometimes when he came to kiss him goodnight? And his daughter saying that sometimes he just laughed. You can always rely on children to tell you how it is, can't you? But those kids, they were things that they were actually much too kind to say to him, when he was drinking. But they resonated as things that our children tell us always do.  Now when Kai reached his 66 days, he started setting milestones. First it was 100 days. And then his daughter challenged him to a whole year.  Milestones are really important. We always try and avoid the "f" word, the forever word, because we just feel it's too daunting. When we finish the workshops, we say to people just, try and get through 66 days because then your habits will change. We don't say to them, try never to drink again, because it's just too much. And even if that's what they want to do eventually, they have to do it in stages.  And another advantage of milestones is that every time you hit one, you get a dopamine hit, and that gives you the energy and the enthusiasm to carry on to the next milestone. Kai enjoyed his journey to sobriety, and he noticed some significant benefits.  As a business leader he's influenced many of his colleagues and he's an amazing role model for his children.  More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page -

This week's guest is Tribe member Christelle who did our #Sober66 Challenge 5 years ago and has been thriving in her alcohol free lifestyle ever since... in this episode:- Christelle realized that her drinking habits were problematic and knew she would have to make a changeShe knew that drinking a bottle of wine a night was damaging her health A particular worry was her heart rate which was in the high 80’s Christelle had signed up for our Dry January Challenge but she only lasted 30 minutes – rather than the 30 days of the Challenge Although she had not stuck at Dry January she decided to have a another try… at our 66 day Sober Spring Challenge It was hearing me on the radio tasting some alcohol free wines that gave her a light bulb moment… For Christelle her evening wine was a ritual…a ritual which had become a dependence due to the addictive nature of alcohol But if she could keep the ritual and change the ingredient by drinking alcohol free wine then it should be easier… To her relief Christelle met other people with a similar problem in the Challenge Community She connected regularly on the Challenge Whatsapp group and learned a lot  As early as Day 8 of the Challenge she realized she could live without wine so long as she had the  alcohol-free wine. So if you haven’t yet discovered alcohol free wine then do check it out – it could be a gamechanger for you just as it was for Christelle Her Benefits of Sobriety include:  - Better looks (reduced puffiness and clearer skin).  - Better sleep quality.  - Reduced heart rate from 84 to low 60s – and probably most importantly of all…  - Increased self-esteem and happiness. We agreed that for anyone who is even slightly concerned about their drinking should take a break from alcohol to check their dependence Doing our #Sober66 Challenge will provide online and community support  To sign up for #Sober66 just go to tribesober.com and you'll see it on the homepage More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Tribe Member Merleen talks about how Tribe Sober's 66 day Challenge kickstarted her journey to sobriety Doing a 66 day Challenge takes care of two big things that we worry about when want to quit drinking…First of all we worry about what other people will say… That’s an easy one with a Challenge – say you’re on a health kick so you’re taking a break from drinking… The second thing that people worry about is the F word…the F word stands for Failure – what if I can’t do this Frever – – how on earth I am going to stop drinking Forever… Well we don’t use either of those words at Tribe Sober We don’t say Failure because we either succeed or we learn…. For the 66 day Challenge you get a tracker and we say to you just see how many alcohol free days you can get out of 66… We never say Forever at Tribe Sober… We believe you need to do this in stages… 66 days – then the odds are that you feel so great you want to keep going … to 100 days Sign up – get a tracker – how many days can you manage Sign up for the Challenge by going to tribesober.com homepage – just click on the #Sober66 graphic You’ll get a tracker, a daily email with tips, tools and inspiration and of course you’ll get to connect with others who are doing the Challenge. That’s exactly what todays guest Merleen did – and now she’s 5 years sober… In this episode:- Merleen was the child of an alcoholic father She was actually a member of Alateen although her father never attended AA and in fact he died shortly after being committed to a rehab facility. Her drinking career started relatively late in life as of course she was well aware of the dangers. However by her forties she was self medicating the stress she was experiencing in her career in the police force. Merleen was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, and PTSD, Despite recognizing the dangers, she often mixed medication with alcohol, worsening her condition. Her drinking increased significantly during her time working in Somalia Merlene experienced several traumatic events, including a severe bike accident, which led to periods of blackout drinking. She attempted suicide and was hospitalized, which became a turning point in her life. In 2019, Merlene decided to quit drinking, initially intending to do so for only 66 days. At the end of her Challenge she joined Tribe Sober which enabled her to embrace a permanent alcohol free lifestyle She has experienced so many benefits - including better emotional health, rekindling her love for dancing, and forming meaningful connections within the sobriety community. She started coaching in order to help others - she focuses on sobriety, menopause, and aging gracefully. Merlene offers a 21-day detox and purification program, including coaching sessions and dietary guidance. To anyone wanting to get started on this journey she emphasizes the importance of connection and support in achieving and maintaining sobriety. For more info about Merleen go to her Facebook Page - LOL Merleen More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday mo

My guest today is Researcher Laura Robinson from Australia – she’s a University Lecturer and Researcher who wants to involve us in some fascinating research that she’s doing... into women and drinking She’s just approaching the end of her first year of sobriety so she’s sharing her own story and asking for your help with the survey that she’s conducting In this episode:- As a Researcher and senior lecturer  Laura focuses on applied psychology Her current research is around drug and alcohol use, particularly women's experiences and their relationship withalcohol. Laura shared her own drinking story with us:- She began drinking at 18, primarily in social settings and like many of us her social drinking gradually evolved into more of a coping mechanism after having children. She became increasingly concerned about her drinking habits over the years. Although she did take some breaks from alcohol she struggled to moderate Laura’s decision to quit was prompted by health concerns, the desire to set an example for her children, and a growing awareness of alcohol's impact on her life. She listened to sobriety podcasts and engaged with online resources and communities, Even though she had not even completed her first alcohol free year she decided to have a sober wedding  Her goal was to maintain clear memories and nourish the emotional connection with her guests She drank alcohol free champagne and provided alcohol-free options for her guests Laura thoroughly enjoyed her wedding and has beautiful memories of the day Laura took me through the Benefits of Sobriety that she’s experienced:-   - Significant reduction in feelings of shame and increased self-trust.   - Improved physical health, including reduced bloating and better skin.   - Enhanced emotional well-being and clearer memories of significant events – such as her wedding day! Laura’s advice for those struggling with alcohol includes:-   - connecting with online communities and educational resources.   - She also emphasized the importance of understanding the impact of alcohol on the brain and separating personal worth from alcohol dependence.   - Suggests treating sobriety as a research project to stay engaged and motivated. In her Work on Women and Alcohol Laura has noticed the under-representation of women and the options they take to get sober. She has been focusing on understanding and addressing the unique challenges women face regarding alcohol use. Laura’s aim for her research is to contribute to the development of more tailored and accessible treatment options for women. As part of her research she is conducting a study on the impact of Sobriety podcasts and online communities on alcohol use and mental health. She is inviting us all to participate in an online survey to gather data and build an evidence base for the effectiveness of these resources. This anonymous survey has ethics approval, and the link is https://tinyurl.com/SoberPodcasts More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Faceboo

My guest today is Colette Safhill who is the founder of Myth Drinks who shares her own story and gives us an insight into her alcohol free drinks company. in this episode:- Colette's mother was an alcoholic so she was well aware of the dangers of alcohol. She started drinking heavily in her early 20s, influenced by her challenging circumstancesThe combination of a difficult childhood, an alcoholic mother, a stormy first marriage, and the challenges of raising a colicky baby resulted in five years of heavy drinking Colette accepted that she had lost control after a series of personal setbacks and a car crash. Her rock bottom resulted in her being sectioned under the Mental Health Act and undergoing a medical detox. She stayed under the care of a rehab facility for over a year, which marked the beginning of her long-term sobriety. Although Colette has been sober for an impressive 24 years she still attends AA meetings and values the sense of community. Colette and I agreed that we have to “find our people” for this recovery journey – whether its AA, Tribe Sober or another group – try several communities until you feel you are in a safe space and can be honest and vulnerable with the other members. Colette has navigated the challenges of cancer treatment, remarriage, and raising children while maintaining her sobriety. She highlighted the need for a balanced life with proactive choices and meaningful relationships. Colette has created Myth Drinks to provide an alternative for people who don’t drink or who want an alcohol free alternative now and again She developed a range of alcohol-free drinks, including a coconut rum substitute and ready-to-drink canned cocktails - her drinks are gluten-free, vegan, and low-calorie. Her website is mythdrinks.co.uk so you can go and check out her products on there  More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

My guest today is Chris Pizzarello, an expert in EFT and Hypnotherapy In this episode:- Chris experienced some personal struggles which led to his discovery of EFT He immersed himself in learning EFT and later studied hypnotherapy after realizing the need to address subconscious issues. In his practice Chris uses a combination of EFT and hypnotherapy to help clients release negative energy and change the energetic signature of their stories. He believes that we have to get the conscious and subconscious mind to agree before we can bring about effective change. EFT involves tapping on specific points on the body to release energy blocks, while hypnotherapy accesses the subconscious to reinforce new, positive beliefs. I loved his analogy of a "little red wagon" to describe how people accumulate emotional baggage throughout life. Chris explained that EFT can lighten this load by releasing the energy attached to negative stories. Both EFT and Hypnotherapy can help individuals struggling with alcohol dependency Hypnotherapy will address limiting beliefs and subconscious motivations whereas EFT can be used to manage cravings and reduce the emotional impact of addiction triggers. I was really interested to hear Chris talk about our dreams…   He says that Dreams are a way for the subconscious mind to process information Chris educates clients on the significance of dreams in the healing process and how they reflect the subconscious mind's work. I loved his example of someone in early sobriety being on the edges of a party – acting as an onlooker – and how that can mean that they are still going through the grieving process which comes with saying goodbye to alcohol Drinking dreams should be viewed positively as they mean that the subconscious is accepting that we are letting go of alcohol – it’s a sign of healing Chris is accessible through his website efthypnotherapy.com for more information and booking sessions. He is able to conduct online sessions for both EFT and hypnotherapy More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

My guest today is Tribe Member Nikki Swart who has been thriving in her alcohol free life for 5 years In this episode:- Nikki started her drinking career as a teenager, mainly to fit in with her peer group. Her university years were relatively tame, with occasional bouts of binge drinking. However as a working mom she found her drinking patterns shifting from socialising towards more of a coping mechanism. During this period Nikki was diagnosed with bipolar 2 Despite the drinking Nikki built a successful career and managed her blended family. To an outsider she “had it all” but her relationship with alcohol was on her mind. She began to take online tests for alcoholism and then decided to do a 90-day challenge, which started her journey to sobriety. Nikki completed the 90-day challenge, which led to a positive change in her life. She became involved in sobriety communities and used their resources. She noted improvements in her mental health and stability after quitting alcohol - learning to manage emotions and express herself better. Nikki also experienced improved physical fitness and health. She adopted healthier eating habits and regular exercise routines. Sobriety has had such a positive impact on her family life, and she loves the fact that she’s providing a better role model for her children. Nikki had some advice for anybody thinking of ditching the booze…. Educate yourself – read the books and listen to the podcasts – the more you learn about the damage alcohol does to our bodies and our brains the less you’ll want to drink it! Nikki explains the value of her own Why list during the interview so she recommends writing a list of WHY you want to quit drinking – this will keep you on track when you’re finding it hard Finally get some community support by connecting with others on the same path – others who will support and encourage you and hold you accountable – just go to ts.com and check out our international community More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

My guest today is author and coach Nico Morales In this episode:- Nico had a difficult childhood which included abuse and left him with abandonment issues. He started using cannabis at 14, and was on heroin by the age of 20 He switched from heroin to alcohol but progressively increased his alcohol consumption, leading to severe addiction by 27. Nico’s grandmother had died and his family allowed him to live in her house which had become derelict and was without furniture His final rock bottom came on his 27th birthday when his mother and sister came to visit him – he realised that he had to change Encountered rock bottom on his 27th birthday, leading to a realization of needed change. He shifted his mindset from one of self-pity to curiosity and began seeking purpose and meaning.3 things that’s worked for Nico were:- practicing daily prayer as a form of mental distraction. implementing new routines and habits to fill his days and avoid substance use. seeking accountability from trusted individuals. Gradually he was able to reduce substance use and build up to full sobriety He sought professional help and was able to further his education and get a degree Nico wrote a book titled "Five Things to Know Before You Get Sober" to help others in recovery. His book emphasizes the importance of mindset, and character in achieving and maintaining sobriety. His "No Halo," organization focuses on helping individuals achieve sobriety and personal success. Nico also works with organisations looking to develop leadership and is a certified public speaker To find out more about Nico you can check out his website NoHaloNM.com - More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

My guest this week was Dr Edie Sullivan, Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University    In this episode:-Neuropsychologist Dr Edie chronicles her journey from studying memory at MIT and working on notable cases like patient H.M., to her research on the devastating impacts of alcohol use disorder and Alzheimer's disease.She discusses her experiences with memory research, neuroimaging, and the significant relationship between alcohol use and memory impairment, including conditions like Korsakoff syndrome.The conversation also delves into the dangers of alcohol blackouts, the evolving understanding of alcohol use disorder as classified by the DSM, and the correlation with HIV risks.Dr Edie also offers insights on the impact of alcohol on adolescent brain development, strategies for recovery, and emphasizes the importance of community support and reputable resources like the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

My guest today is Tribe Member and Health & Wellness Educator Maya Acosta who shares her own story as well as some inspiration and great advice! In this episode:- Maya grew up in a family which normalized alcohol consumption and this of course influenced her own drinking patterns. She got married to a vascular surgeon which has given her a unique insight into the damage that can be done if we don’t look after ourselves – this was key to her changing her eating patterns Maya invited me as a guest on her Healthy Lifestyle podcast to talk about the risks of drinking alcohol – this conversation caused her to question her own drinking patterns She joined Tribe Sober in July 2022 and found the community support helpful in maintaining sobriety. Although she’d had periods of sobriety she would eventually relapse but this time she it felt different and more sustainable Maya is now heading for her second Soberversary and experiencing many benefits including better sleep, more energy, less anxiety and clarity of thought Eliminating alcohol has reduced her stress levels and also minimized the hot flashes she was experiencing during menopause. As a Health and Wellness Advocator Maya advocates lifestyle medicine, focusing on plant based diets and physical activity as well as avoiding risky substances such as alcohol More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).   To learn more about Maya you can catch her podcast which is called "Healthy Lifestyle Solutions," or go to her website which is called healthylifestylesolutions.org

My guest is author and coach Nigel Jones who shares his own story as well as some inspiration and great advice! In this episode:- Nigel started drinking daily at 18, struggled to quit for 36 years. He found success with a mindset shift, declaring himself a non-drinker from day one. We talked more about this identity shift during our first podcast interview which you can listen to here Many of our members have found Nigel's identity shift to being a "non drinker" helpful  Rather than clocking up the sober days they declare themselves a non drinker from day one Apart from deciding that he was a non drinker Nigels strategies for quitting alcohol included Replacing drinking with new habits like walking. His "9 KM before 9 AM" walking routine led to a significant physical and mental transformation. Creating new neural pathways through consistent healthy habits. I shared my own habit change of going on a long walk every evening at 6pm which was my witching hour We both agreed on the stength of peer pressure to drink As drinkers we find ourselves in an alcohol drinkers tribe (ADT as Nigel calls it) When we decide to quit we need to find a new Tribe I went through this myself and I always say that recovery is about “finding your people” If you think Tribe Sober might be your people then go to tribesober.com and hit the membership tab Nigels benefits of sobriety included: Improved physical health, mental clarity, and spiritual well-being. Increased time and energy for personal development and learning – for example he Qualified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and he’s currently studying Hypnotherapy. Nigel’s working on a New Book called Reroot Yourself His book focuses on the healing power of nature. Concepts like forest bathing (Shinrin Yoku) and the benefits of being in nature. Nigel highlighted the scientific evidence for the mental and physical benefits of nature exposure. He currently takes these concepts into corporates where he is observing a shift in attitudes towards mental health Nigels Advice for people wanting to quit… He advocates reading quitlit and listening to podcasts Also joining a new tribe for support and encouragement – a tribe to replace your drinking tribe I often say that to new members – you don’t even have to quit drinking when you join Tribe Sober Just be curious, listen and learn.. and you’ll get inspired to make a change As Nigel says curiosity can be a catalyst for change  Nigel is a coach and runs workshops in corpoprates Find out more about Nigel via his website 9kmby9am.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episode

My guest today is the lovely Nicole Klassen who did our very first 66 day Sober Challenge 5 years ago – not only has she been thriving in her alcohol free life ever since but she’s reconnected with her voice as a writer.. What a pleasure to hear Nicole's journey through sobriety, her rediscovery of writing and to learn about your current work which involves facilitating writing for mental health. Also to know that this whole journey was triggered by our 66 day challenge! If  you’re listening to this and you’re interested in what could be a life changing alcohol free challenge we start our 66 day challenges on 1st September and 20 March every year but if you want to get started right now then sign up as a Tribe Sober member and we’ll start you off n an alcohol free challenge today – just go to tribesober.com and hit on the membership tab. In this episode:- She began experimenting with alcohol at 12-13 years old - binge drinking through high school and early adulthood This shifted to self medication as she drank alone at home to quell her anxiety Nicole’s last year of drinking was chaotic and involved frequent binges She joined our Sober Spring Challenge back in 2018 for an initial 66 days This started a shift in her focus from alcohol to self-improvement Nicole describes the Sober Spring Challenge Experience as a transformative and beautiful period  Community and journalling were significant supports during the Challenge She experienced significant health improvements, including nervous system reset and healthier metabolism She was into her second year of sobriety before her weight began to change and she lost 20 kgs It does take a while for most of us to lose weight when we quit drinking so hang in there – I was 6 months sober when I lost some weight I believe we mess up our metabolism when we drink and it gradually gets back to normal when we stop Nicole also experienced Improved adrenal function and reduced cortisol spikes There were significant Mental Health Benefits for Nicole as well:- She experienced a Reconnection to Self and a sense of Purpose which included:-  - A Significant change in lifestyle and a sense of belonging  - An Enhanced connection to community   - A Rekindled passion for writing during sobriety as she  - Engaged in daily journaling and creative writing These days Nicole works as a facilitator with the Life Writing Collective In this role she focuses on writing as a tool for mental wellbeing Nicole’s website is – Naluthando.co.za  Nicoles advice for anyone struggling with their drinking   - Take the first step by joining a supportive group   - Recognize the importance of connection and community   - Utilize resources like workshops and challenges to stay committedMore info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of i

My guest today is Dustin Dunbar, author and leader of the  Alcohol Free Revolution In this episode:- Alcoholism affected Dustins family; his grandfather and father both struggled with it. Despite his early vow not to drink, Dustin began drinking as a teenager due to peer pressure. He enjoyed a successful career in sales, real estate, and insurance. Social drinking became part of his lifestyle, exacerbated by business and social environments promoting alcohol consumption. Like with many of us Dustin’s alcohol use escalated gradually, He recognized the negative impact of alcohol in his mid-thirties and quit drinking four years ago. Like me he was Inspired by Annie Grace’s book "This Naked Mind," he began to see alcohol consumption as a form of unconscious behavior controlled by societal norms and marketing. Dustin describes a crazy dream he had where he's on a gurney in a room filled with other people, all plugged into tubes pumping ethanol into them. He realizes he’s being controlled by Big Alcohol, This dream leads him to conclude that society is trapped in an "alcohol matrix," where many people consume ethanol regularly, believing it to be normal and acceptable, despite its harmful effects. I also love the expression Alcohol Matrix which I first discovered in the Unexpected Joy of being Sober by Catherine Gray – she has a whole chapter on how we need to unplug from the matrix… and its true Unplugging can feel strange and lonely for a while but then it turns to a feeling of freedom…. And joy Dustin founded the Alcohol Free Revolution, offering support, education, and community to those seeking to quit drinking. The initiative includes coaches, therapists, and various experts to help individuals recover and lead alcohol-free lives. He’s also written a book called You’re Doing Great… and other lies Alcohol old me – get his book and find out more about Dustin his website which is dustin-dunbar.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.             If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

I’m recording this exactly a year after the death Eusebius McKaiser died at the tragically young age of 44. He was a national treasure for South Africans – an author, a journalist and broadcaster.  One of the smartest public intellects in the country he was a fierce defender of truth and justice as many politicians found out to their cost! He was also a warm and generous friend.So instead of the planned episode I wanted to say a few words about my friend Eusebius and re-release one of the podcast interviews he did for Tribe Sober. The story starts back in 2001 when I relocated from the UK to SA.  I started to watch national tv, trying to get my bearings in this beautiful and complex country.  I spotted Eusebius on a talk show and was impressed. I read a couple of his books and listened to him on the radio.  I discovered he’d been to Oxford University on a scholarship and had won a global award as a Debating Champion. I first met him in person more than a decade ago… Ironically I was drunk at the time! We were at the Franschhoek Literary Festival where I’d been drinking wine most of the day.  This didn’t stop me dragging Long Suffering Husband to the Elephant and Barrel Pub in the evening.  I spotted Eusebius in the bar.  He was with deep in conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt.   However husband knew I was a fan and he nudged me towards him – not quite sure what Eusebius thought about this drunken Brit lurching at him but he was very kind. For obvious reasons I don’t remember much about that conversation but that was the evening that our unlikely but enduring friendship was born. I finally ditched the booze in 2015 and set up Tribe Sober.  Eusebius signed up for our Dry January Challenge and one of the mailers included my Goodbye to Alcohol letter – he asked me to come to Cape Talk and read it out on his Show. So I did and we got plenty of calls from people who knew they needed to say Goodbye to Alcohol.  I’ll put a link to that radio program in the shownotes.  Apart from reading my letter we raised more than R10,000 for Earthchild within 30 minutes.  Just like me he loved the work done by NGO Earthchild and for the last 8 years he helped me to fundraise more than R300,000  which enabled more than 1000 underprivileged children to get a year of yoga and lifeskill classes.  I then became a regular on his show and many of our current and past members found us via Eusebius.  He loved the work we did at Tribe Sober and often promoted us on his social media. He came to two of our workshops in Joburg.  The first one as a participant and the second one as my co-facilitator.  We looked out for each other - he coached me to be a better speaker on the radio and I convinced him to start his own podcast when he left Cape Talk.  Have a listen to this episode we recorded about 18 months ago In this Episode The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober. Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that. When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer. Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15% We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day! Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing and peer pressure that we need alcohol to enjoy ou

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year.  Registration for the current program is open until 30th May  - more info here    We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention In this episode:- I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle The Breaking Free program has four components… Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation… The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program  We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom.  Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session.  By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:- The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead. While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace.  You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key…. Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it! The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future. The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support.  You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love.. Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives….  All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass. While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands…. As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time! Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 30th May - more info here More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcast

NEWSFLASH! - Our Breaking Free Program is open for enrollment until 30th May - get more info here    I'm Janet Gourand, founder of Tribe Sober and I celebrated my 9th Soberversary on 23rd May, 2024! Most of our Tribe Sober members know my story – how I quit drinking and started Tribe Sober but as we are getting new podcast listeners every week I’m re-releasing my story along with my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter. But before that I have some fresh content that will be useful to everyone on this journey…. In this episode:- Common mistakes when we're trying quit drinking Mistake number 1 — Waiting for rock bottom I knew I had a problem but I was in denial for years. Convincing myself that I wasn’t that bad. I couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic because I was holding down a responsible job and raising a family. An alcoholic was that homeless man in the park who had lost everything. That wasn’t me! Mistake number 2 — ModerationI spent a decade stuck in the Moderation Trap. Once I’d learned that the low risk limits of alcohol are just one and a half bottles of wine a week I decided that I would drink within those limits. It was only when I tried (and failed) to do that that I realised just how dependent I had become. Mistake number 3 — Fearing failure I almost never got started on this life-changing journey because I believed I would fail. I just couldn’t imagine quitting alcohol, never having a drink again. I knew that I had tried (and failed) to moderate my drinking again and again. Surely it would be even harder to quit completely? Mistake number 4 — Worrying about other people Peer pressure is powerful. I was trapped in my drinking because I couldn’t bear to peel away from the herd and be different. As an introvert and a people pleaser I didn’t want to be the centre of attention as I was bombarded with questions about why I wasn’t drinking.Mistake number 5 — Being influenced by marketingAs a teenager I believed that alcohol was cool. Wine became the essential parenting aid as I joined the mommy juice culture. Mid-life challenges needed wine as did juggling a career with family life. Retirement gave me time to relax and drink even more wine! Mistake number 6 — Waiting for happiness to strike.. I had relied on alcohol to make me feel good for a such a long time that I missed those chemical highs when I stopped. During my first few months of sobriety I didn’t change anything in my life. I just didn’t drink. I expected to feel happy because I was sober. But I didn’t, I felt flat and rather depressed. I learned that I would need a project to keep my happy brain chemicals firing! Mistake number 7 — Being depressed about quittingI had to quit for health reasons and was horrified at the prospect of an alcohol free life. I imagined that an alcohol free life would be a grey and boring existence. Alcohol had become so entrenched in my life that I had no idea how I would socialise, relax or have fun without it. Mistake number 8 — Trying to do it alone I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t be happy with just “one glass” of wine like some of my friends. I tried (and failed) to quit over and over. I was ashamed of my drinking problem and wanted to fix it myself. I didn’t want to reach out for help or join a community. LEARNING FROM MISTAKES — 8 TIPS! TIP NUMBER 1: Do it now! Alcohol dependence is like anelevator and it’s only going down. The longer you leave it the worse itwill get so if you’re worried about your drinking then Do it Now! TIP NUMBER 2: Forget Moderation! If you could moderate you would have done it by now. People who can moderate just do it naturally. They might have a glass of champagne at a wedding but alcohol is not really on their radar. TIP NUMBER 3: Have your reasons ready Just smile and say “I’m taking a break from the booze because I’ve not been sleeping well” and remember it’s not your responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking! TIP NUMBER 4: Change your thi

My guest today is Ben Loos, he’s a professor at Stellenbosch University and leads a neuro research group.  His team focuses on neurodegenerative diseases and brain cancers, with a major focus on autophagy Autophagy is the body’s way of cleaning out damaged cells, in order to regenerate newer, healthier cells – a process which is essential to good health. Ben's research is at a particularly exciting stage right now as he is busy developing a device that will enable us to measure our autophagy rate – much as we can measure our resting heart rate or our glucose levels.  He is CEO of a start up called Phagoflux which will bring this product to market. Knowing our autophagy rate can make a big difference and will motivate us to strive for a healthy lifestyle  –for example if we see it is too low then we can do something about it – we can do some exercise or we can implement a 12 hour fast. Of course I asked Ben about what impact alcohol has on the autophagy process as well as other aspects of our health.  In this episode:- Health Risks of Alcohol: Excessive alcohol consumption is linked to various diseases, including cancer and neurodegeneration, due to its stress-inducing effects on cells and interference with processes like memory consolidation and sleep. Effects on Memory and Aging: Alcohol impairs both short-term and long-term memory formation, and chronic consumption accelerates brain aging, increasing susceptibility to neurodegenerative diseases like dementia. Alcohol Dependence and Blackouts: Regular heavy drinking can lead to alcohol dependence and blackouts, which indicate severe brain impairment and are precursors to brain damage. Particularly dangerous as we get older Alcohol and Autophagy: Alcohol abuse can impair autophagy due to oxidative stress, inflammation, and mitochondrial dysfunction. Thinking about our general health: Quitting alcohol leads to significant improvements in health, including liver regeneration, reduced inflammation, and better immune function, emphasizing the importance of avoiding alcohol dependency, especially as one ages. With an autophagy monitoring device like Phagoflux we could monitor our personal autophagy levels, just like checking our blood pressure or glucose levels. If the levels are high, it's a good sign that our cellular cleaning mechanism is functioning optimally. But if it's low, then interventions like exercise or dietary changes could help boost autophagy and improve cellular health. It's all about empowering us to take control of our wellness at a cellular level and I think many of us ex drinkers are keen to take action to heal our bodies and brains as much as we can. Autophagy in Healing: Autophagy plays a vital role in cellular healing by removing damaged components and restoring function. Autophagy Monitoring Device: Fagovlux aims to measure personal autophagy levels, crucial for understanding aging. Personalized Autophagy: Understanding one's daily autophagy activity can guide lifestyle choices like diet and exercise. Exercise and Autophagy: Exercise increases autophagy, contributing to healthy aging and reducing disease risk. Intermittent Fasting: Fasting triggers autophagy by sensing a lack of amino acids, promoting cellular repair and health. Of course we already know the basic health rules and we try to stay alcohol free, eat a healthy diet and fast occasionally and exercise regularly. But how motivating would it be to be able to monitor our autophagy rate and see what impact our hard working is having on our health! Connect with Ben: Contact Ben through the Stellenbosch University website or the Neuro Research Group website for more information. www. neuroresearchgroup. com More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May - more inf

Today’s podcast comes with a bit of a health warning.  Moderation is not something we recommend here at Tribe Sober – mainly because so many us were trapped in what I call the moderation swamp. We tried (and failed) over and over again to moderate our alcohol intake – all because we counldn’t imagine life without out gass of wine! Personally the whole of my 50’s was spent in that battle to moderate… a battle that I never won and it’s only now I’m well and truly out the other side that I can see the reality which is that once we’ve crossed a line into dependence we can never moderate – we can never go back… We just need to put all that effort we put into moderation into creating a beautiful alcohol free life – a life we don’t want to escape from.. Having said all that I do know that we have some “sober curious” people listening to this podcast, people who’ve not yet crossed that line into dependence.. so this episode will be of particular interest to them.. But if you were worried about your drinking and you have managed to clock up a period of sobriety then I would urge you to hang in there… it will get better and better and trying to moderate could take you back to Day One again! So let’s get to my guest who is Pamela Power, who is an author, a television script writer and has published a book called  “My Year of Not Getting Shitfaced”.. In this episode:- Pamela’s mother was dependent on alcohol As a result Pamela become a people pleaser - anxiously watching for her mothers behaviour to change as she drank As a teenager Pamela sampled homemade wines on her grandmother's farm in Ireland There was occasional drinking during teenage years and university but nothing excessive Her drinking Increased as she enjoyed socialising with her friends during weekends and social events This period was pre-parenthood so the responsibilities of motherhood put the brakes on her drinking In spite of this she found herself drinking more during social gatherings and stressful periods, especially during COVID-19 pandemic She recognised that there could be a potential problem even though she certainly didn’t fit the traditional addiction narrative Pamela experienced an embarrassing blackout during Mothers Day and decided she needed to take a break and reassess her drinking habits Her intention was to experiment with moderation and take periodic breaks as a means of self-awareness and health maintenance Pamela acknowledges that she had no idea of the low risk limits or alcohol   She is not alone in this – many people are unaware of those limits.  To be clear the World Health Organisation says that to be healthy we shouldn’t drink alcohol at all.  The evidence is stacking up and it's now proven that alcohol is linked to 7 types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. Moderation means drinking no more than a bottle and a half of wine A WEEK.  Knowing I had to drink within those limits is actually one of the things that helped me to quit.  Drinking a small glass of wine in the evening was not going to give me a buzz so I might as well quit! We discussed the societal differences in drinking culture, highlighting the sober curious movement and the way the younger generation seems to be falling out of love with alcohol The latest stats from UK tell us that a massive 40% of 18-24 year olds don’t drink at all! Pamela enjoys fine wines but does recognize their addictive nature. We reflected on the challenges of sober socializing and the benefits of leaving social events early. We agreed on the importance of finding new sources of entertainment and occupation without alcohol. I mentioned my concern about the possibility that her book could tempt people to try (or retry) moderation when they really needed to quit as they were already dependent. Pamela explained that she had read a lot of quitlit and could not identify with any of the authors as their stories were too extreme So she has written this book recognising that there are different drinking pa

Today’s guest is going to give us a peek into Hollywood and the fascinating world of movies about recovery Ted Perkins worked in the film industry for 30 years and has a book out called:- "Addicted in Film, Movies We Love About the Habits We Hate" I’ve just finished reading it and it’s fascinating – I had no idea there were so many films about recovery! The book forms the basis of his Recovery Movie Meetup program In this episode:- Ted grew up in a diplomatic family, where cocktail parties were the norm.. Worked as a movie producer for Universal Studios for 30 years, then pursued independent screenwriting The Movie industry (like so many other industries) is “awash in alcohol” as Ted put it His drinking was mainly recreational until he began to work independently as a scriptwriter when it became more about managing his anxiety  His scriptwriting career involved a lot of waiting around for responses regarding scripts he had submitted Ted shared his personal struggle with moderation and his attempts to control his drinking He talks us through his unique approach to sobriety – rather than 90 meetings in 90 days he watched 100 recovery movies in 100 days! In fact I’ve recently interviewed a guy for the podcast who listened to 100 Tribe Sober podcasts in 100 days… and it worked!   He’s sober now and I ‘ll be releasing that interview soon I’m even thinking of creating a 100 episode playlist to go with it! Apart from his movie watching Ted also worked with Smart Recovery His recovery led to him writing his book and developing Recovery Movie Meetups His book is called: "Addicted in Film, Movies We Love About the Habits We Hate" – available on Amazon – and on kindle – do check it out, its brilliant Recovery Movie Meetups enables communities to host support meetings using addiction-themed movies… and Tribe Sober will be hosting their first Recovery Movie Meetup with Ted on 11th May We’ll be watching an addiction themed movie and following it with a discussion – using guided questions I asked him for his Favorite Recovery Movie: which is the "Lost Weekend" which came out way back in (1945) I asked him to Recommended a Movie: He suggested "Thanks for Sharing" for its portrayal of various addictions and recovery aspects We discussed Society's stigma towards alcoholism: that misconception of alcoholics as homeless, contrasting with the majority of people affected who are in fact functional alcoholics Of course the danger of seeing the alcoholic as a homeless man in the park is that we look at him and think – I’m not that bad so I can carry on drinking! This suits the alcohol industry very well of course. AA's branding of the "alcoholic" can be likened to the religious branding of sinners – it’s a way to keep the flock together – to keep them coming to church… or meetings. We agreed that we had to take the Initiative in our recovery: we can’t just sit around waiting for life to become perfect – we have to rebuild our life, embrace opportunities and create an alcohol free life that we love Recovery is about reclaiming life’s possibilities We talked about the Hollywood celebrities who are modelling sobriety and making it cool: Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Anthony Hopkins, Demi Lovato, and plenty of others I really loved Teds feedback loop – I’m going to read a quote from the transcript of the interview Over time it'll work itself out and you'll see, …. all of the things that you thought were not going to be possible will become possible and you'll do things that you never thought possible      Then your life in sobriety will then start an automatic feedback loop. Showing you how great life is and will continue to get as you pursue sobriety. I love that idea of an automatic feedback loop – as the benefits of sobriety start to come in we realise we want to hold on to them…. More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up t

Today’s guest is Ken Middleton If you’re a regular listener then you’ll already know Ken and many of you have read his fabulous book which is called Bamboozled – How Alcohol Makes Fools of us all!" Kenis an interesting case because he didn’t embark on this journey because he was worried about his alcohol dependence… he did it because he realised that alcohol was preventing him from reaching his potential As he says “even if alcohol doesn’t destroy you it will prevent you from reaching your potential” How true! This is my actually my third podcast episode with Ken – You can listen to the other podcast episodes here and here   In this episode:- Ken started his sobriety journey by educating himself on the scientific effects of alcohol. There is such power in knowledge – the more we understand about the damage alcohol does the less we feel like drinking it! His drinking career was pretty typical – starting at college where he used it to fit in and socialize. His drinking then intensified during his sales career It was when he decided to become an entrepreneur that Ken realized the detrimental impact of alcohol on his productivity. He decided to take a 90-day break from drinking with his wife, to his surprise this period of sobriety led to a significant increase in his productivity and income. Two weeks into his sobriety, Ken read Annie Grace's "This Naked Mind" which changed his perspective on alcohol. This book helped him to recognize the spectrum of alcohol's effects, We agreed that society stigmatises the alcoholic to such an extent that we imagine an alcoholic to be a homeless man in the park – this gives us a reason to decide we are not “that bad” so we can carry on drinking! This suits the alcohol industry very well of course! Inspired by his journey, Ken wrote "Bamboozled" to share his experiences and educate others on the hidden dangers of alcohol. One of the things I love about his book is the stories he includes - alcohol parables like "Scott and Mitchell," illustrating how drinking choices in college can impact future success. Ken emphasizes the cognitive and emotional impairment caused by alcohol, affecting decision-making, learning, and long-term success – of course its especially harmful for young brains which are still developing Ken encourages his readers to consider the long-term effects on their lives and potential. He believes in running towards personal growth rather than away from alcohol, recognizing the multitude of benefits gained through sobriety.  I love this approach and see our members getting more and more motivated as the benefits of sobriety keep coming! Societal views on drinking are changing, with more and more young people abstaining - For example the latest stats from the UK tell us that 39% of 18-24 people just don’t drink Another of Kens alcohol parables focuses on Sarah and Susan Susan's excessive drinking hinders her career growth, while Sarah's more moderate approach leads to promotion. Hollywood's portrayal of alcohol influences societal perceptions and behaviors – Ken has a whole chapter on this and its fascinatingIf you haven't yet read Bamboozled then you’re missing out – it’s a really great read, you can buy it from Amazon or you can get it directly from Ken on TheBamboozledBook.comDo check out his 90 day challenge that he mentioned – he’s set up a website for that which is called https://www.dry90.com/ - I’ll put the links in the shownotes You can also follow Ken on Instagram @kenmmiddleton and of course his regular newsletter is called Alcohol is Not Your Friend. More Info   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Appl

My guest Sarah Rusbatch is a Brit living in Oz –  she struggled with alcohol dependence for years but finally nailed sobriety and trained as a Sober Coach.  She's also written a book called "Beyond Booze" which enables people to build an alcohol free life that we love! In this episode:- Sarah began drinking in her early teens It became a way to fit in and make friends at school and at university We reflected on the drinking culture in the UK during the 90s, influenced by tv series like Sex and the City and the Ladette culture. After moving to Australia and becoming a mother, Sarah felt a bit lost – she struggled to find a new friendship group and turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism. Despite not drinking every day, Sarah realized she had a problem with alcohol when it started affecting her physical and mental health. She shared a painful experience at a party where she lost her balance and fell over, cutting her face A visit to the pharmacy the next day resulted in the shop assistant slipping her the number for a domestic abuse helpline This incident prompted her to start a 21-day detox, which she eventually extended by using various tools such as Annie Grace's Book: which introduced the novel concept of reconsidering alcohol as something other than wonderful! She began to realize the negative impacts of alcohol on anxiety, sleep, weight, and productivity. We discussed Workplace performance and how quitting alcohol can lead to a 30% increase in effectiveness, highlighting how alcohol not only damages our physical and mental health but it prevents us from reaching our potential. Sarah explained how drinking damages the Pillars of Good Health: Alcohol affects various aspects of health beyond direct consumption, such as sleep, exercise, and nutrition, impacting overall well-being. She talked about the Relationship with her Husband: Both were heavy drinkers, enabling each other's habits and avoiding confrontation about their drinking. Her husband Initially stopped drinking for three years, then restarted… he eventually decided to quit again due to realizing the negative impact on his life. This ties in with one of the great tips Sarah shared with us – go alcohol free for a while, collect the data – then make a comparison with how you feel when you drink… do it as an experiment, be a scientist in your own life! Sarahs 3 Benefits of Sobriety: Rediscovery of authentic self, better role modeling for children, and a renewed zest for life which enables her to  fulfil her potential. Her tips to get your Sobriety started: Have a clear why and do a 30-day experiment, immersing yourself in the resources, and embrace community support. Sarah's Book and Community: "Beyond Booze" focuses on building a fulfilling alcohol-free life. Its not about how to quit as much as how to build an alcohol free life that you love Find out more about Sarah via her website which is:-  www.sarahrusbatch.com More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Mike Waite is working to improve brain health awareness via behavior, nature, and immersive technologies. He teaches about brain health through his podcast which is called the Brain Shaman Mike is American but lives in Japan – he has a pretty wild drinking story about how he ended up in Japan so you won’t want to miss this one! In this episode:- Mike shared his mindblowing story of relocating to Japan while under the influence of alcohol! Sometimes it can be liberating to close down our rational brain and go where alcohol takes us but as Mike emphasised we are playing Russian Roulette and it can be disastrous In fact many people are in prison because alcohol took them to a dark place and they committed a crime in a blackout! We discussed the importance of dismantling the limiting beliefs that we hold about alcohol  We need to educate ourselves about the effects of alcohol on the brain and body, including both short-term and long-term consequences. We are both fans of William Porter so if you want to understand the science behind alcohol dependence then his book Alcohol Explained is a great place to start because.. The more we understand about the damage alcohol can do the less inclined we’ll be to drink it! We are “groomed” by the Liquor Industry to want alcohol from a very tender age.. As an example Mike explained that he used to watch movies like American Pie and The Hangover at the age of 12 or 13 – these movies built a strong belief that he would need lots of alcohol to party and have fun Of course the influence of alcohol advertising is even stronger on the teenage brain which is still developing Recognising marketing for the BS that it is takes away the power – I shared my tactic for timing how long we get into a movie before the alcohol comes out We agreed that envisioning a group of cynical marketing executives rubbing their hands together as their sales increase will help us to recognise the manipulation that is taking place on a continual basis We have to use our imagination to redefine associations with alcohol so that when we see it on the shelf we realise its poison We have to cultivate self-awareness and mindfulness to recognize and address underlying reasons for using alcohol, such as stress, anxiety, or social pressure. We agreed on the value of supportive communities and networks, like Tribe Sober, where individuals can connect, share, and support each other in their journey towards sobriety and improved brain health. Mike is experiencing the value of a sober community himself as he goes through our 66 day sober challenge. Mike encourages holistic approaches to well-being that prioritize mental and physical health, emphasizing the importance of sleep, nutrition, exercise, and other lifestyle factors in maintaining brain health and overall wellness. He took us through some alternative coping strategies and activities for relaxation, stress relief, and socializing that don't involve alcohol and emphasized their benefits We have to recognize the social pressure and rebel against it – we need to learn to be a rebel not a sheep – after all its easy to drink – being alcohol free takes confidence and courage! We need to remember the power of fading affect bias: we mustn’t forget the dark places our drinking took us to Tribe Sober has 2 tools to avoid FAB Create a blacklist of negative drinking experiences Write a goodbye letter to alcohol, symbolizing the end of the relationship When we quit drinking we have to channel our energy into positive activities  We need to recognize alcohol's role in wasting our time and energy We also need to consider long-term health consequences, including nerve damage and neurodegeneration We discussed the fact that more and more celebrities are sober these days Ironically Bradley Cooper who dazzled the 12 year old Mike with his drunken antics in the Hangover has been sober for 20 years! You can follow Mikes podcast which is called Brain Shaman on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Today’s guest is Sober Coach Carolyn Clark who has an inspiring recovery story to share. Not only is she thriving in her alcohol free life but she’s running sober retreats in Bali! WE never know whats round the corner when we embark on this journeyWe really have to trust the Universe…ditch the booze, do the work… and the magic will happen I bet Carolyn never thought she’s be running retreats in Bali when she was drinking every night!   In this episode:- Carolyn started drinking as a teenager to cope with childhood trauma - this escalated as she got older Her father's alcohol-related death prompted her interest in counselling Carolyn experienced some tragic losses in 2016-17 – these led to increased drinking as a coping mechanism – as it got to 6pm she just wanted to numb out the feelings She reached a turning point in December 2020 when she looked in the mirror and saw her brothers face looking back at her – this was her brother who had died from alcohol related causes So she decided to do Dry January She joined a supportive online community, found strength in accountability Carolyn hasn't had a drink since December 31, 2020 Even though she wasn’t even trying she lost a lot of weight by ditching the booze and taking up exercise – I think she said 3 stone which is about 20 kilos or 42 pounds! If you’re interested in how alcohol affects your weight you must have a listen to my podcast with James Stanwick which was released on March 9th – that’s already had more than 2,000 downloads so it obviously struck a chord  Carolyn and I agreed that we gain courage to try new things in sobriety – sobriety is a superpower – we get this feeling that if we can do this.. we can do pretty much anything! She decided to train as a sober coach during the second year of sobriety Even though she lost her mother in 2021 she remained committed to sobriety Her 44 year marriage has also ended recently but these days she manages to Cope with her feelings in a healthy way through journaling, beach walks, and expressing her emotions rather than numbing them away with alcohol She also incorporated a yoga practice into her journey of self discovery and body connection These days Carolyn leads retreats in Bali… retreats for sober women who want to connect, heal and thrive You can find out more about Carolyn and her retreats by going to her website which is carolynclarkcoaching.com and she’s also on Instagram as soberhappysixties    More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Today’s guest is the wonderful Ann Dowsett Johnston who many of you will have heard of – she is a pioneer of the modern recovery movement and published her book "Drink" back in 2013 – which makes it one of the very first QuitLit books In this episode:- Ann's book Drink has been out for more than a decade and is still selling well – her TED talk has had 1.5m views  I did a previous interview with Ann a couple of years ago that you can listen to here.  The prologue to the book describes alcohol's seductive charm…and eventual harm I love this analogy and here at Tribe Sober we suggest that our members write a Goodbye letter to alcohol as it evolves from a handsome stranger to an abusive lover Ann predicted the dramatic rise in risky drinking for women, which has sadly come true over the last decade There is an epidemic of female drinking, especially among younger women, with serious health consequences – we are even seeing young women presenting with liver disease The alcohol industry has been targeting women for the last couple of decades – using the tobacco marketing playbook  and they’ve been stunningly successful Many of us believed that we couldn’t have fun or relax or cope with stress without alcohol – and it certainly takes a few months to deprogram our thinking, to overturn those limiting belief Ann is from Canada so had first hand experience of the public backlash that the low drinking guidelines (two drinks a week) caused! The reduction in drinking guidelines came as new research was published linking alcohol to cancer and many other health conditions Ann and I both love the modern recovery movement and the many different recovery pathways – I often say that if you want to give up drinking you need to find your people – if you think that Tribe Sober might be your community then go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe Ann mentioned the three levers for change: price, marketing reduction, and availability, but government action is slow and Big Alcohol will continue to use its lobbying power So as individuals we must actively seek out the knowledge – we need to educate ourselves about the harm that alcohol can do to our brains and our bodies Knowledge is power and the more we understand about alcohol the less we’ll feel like drinking it Even if we decide to drink it should be an informed decision, we need to understand the risks Ann talked about her "Writing Your Recovery" courses which offers support and tools for memoir writing. Its a powerful 8-week online memoir-writing course. Starts on 24th April and accommodates various timezones – go to her website annsdowsettjohnston.com for more info – I’ll put the links in the shownotes Ann will also be facilitating a South African writing retreat during week commencing 15th October – you can get on the waiting list for that by emailing info@bkr.co.za Ann now has 15 years of sobriety and spoke of the many benefits she has experienced She returned to school at 64 to become a psychotherapist, specializing in women's substance issues and trauma She has a wonderful relationship with her grandchild Ann strongly believes that once we walk away from alcohol remarkable things will happen – the universe has a plan for us – she is awakened to wonder as she puts it She’s built a rich and an alcohol free life that she loves, a life she definitely doesn’t want to escape from! More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that w

Immerse yourself in a riveting episode of Tribe Sober as we chronicle the intriguing journey of Niamh, an Irish singer and mother of three in Spain, who valiantly overcame alcoholism and carved out a fulfilling, alcohol-free lifestyle. Learn how she dared to break free from deceiving social norms buried deep under heavy drinking. Gain profound insights on her transformational journey which entailed struggles, resilience, and understanding the real value of adopting a healthier and nutritious alternative to harmful drinking habits. As her story unfolds, you will witness how she replaced her lethargic, anxiety-ridden persona, marred by insomnia and relentless weight gain, with a motivated and energetic woman thriving in her sobriety. Discover her magical transition as she substituted time spent at the bar with engaging outdoor activities, rekindling her relationships in the process. Come along and join us in this deep and inspiring narrative emphasizing the strong and understanding community of Tribe Sober that stands as a beacon of support in the daunting journey towards sobriety. Be it you are already sober or simply sober-curious, let Niamh’s story inspire you to adopt and maintain an alcohol-free lifestyle. After all, the best way to predict your future is to create it. If you’re interested in doing the Sober66 Challenge which starts on March 20th then click on this link. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

In this stirring episode of Tribe Sober, we delve into the powerful stories of those who undertook the Sober 66 Challenge. Host Janet Gourand, founder of Tribe Sober, embarks upon the exploration of the exceptional journey of transformation made by participants of the challenge. This is a tale of recovery and hope that inspires listeners to assess their relationship with alcohol. We journey through several inspiring stories where Tribe Sober emerged as a beacon of light, helping individuals revolutionize their attitude towards alcohol. Their initial challenge was a Dry January Fundraiser back in 2016, which gradually evolved into a wider initiative tremendously impacting lives. Laced with candid confessions of past struggles and vivid tales of a life post-challenge, this episode serves as a compelling reminder that altering habits is challenging yet achievable. Meet our guests whose breakthrough to alcohol-free lives are indeed heartwarming! One such guest is a gentleman who undertook the 66-day sober challenge and extended it to six years of sobriety, significantly altering his social dynamics without impacting his family or friends. The other guest, Christelle, testified to the power of replacing alcoholic drinks with their non-alcoholic counterparts. These inspiring tales highlight the benefits of community, support, and readiness to change on one's journey to sobriety. Additionally, the episode is filled with encouraging discoveries from our UK chat community, serving as a much-needed ray of hope for individuals early in their sober journey. Immerse yourself into a world where every triumph, no matter how small, is celebrated, much like how we did with Lisa and Hélène. Tune into Tribe Sober and unlock the power of sobriety! If you’re interested in doing the Sober66 Challenge which starts on March 20th then click on this link. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

My guest this week is James Swanwick, an Australian-American investor and entrepreneur He is the creator of the Alcohol Free Lifestyle, which helps people change their relationship with alcohol In this episode:- James was a moderate drinker, but after 20 years of consistent drinking, he realized the negative effect on his health and stopped for what was supposed to be a 30-day experiment. That was 13 years ago and he’s been alcohol free ever since! Like many of us James hesitated to quit due to societal conditioning – he associated alcohol with socializing and fun and feared being perceived as dull or boring without alcohol. And indeed… There was some Social Awkwardness for a while - navigating social situations without alcohol felt awkward and he shared a story of pretending to drink alcohol when on a date – this strategy proved to be a mistake when his date discovered he had lied!   In spite of the tricky start James was soon embracing his alcohol-free lifestyle openly. We discussed the strong influence of peer pressure and the need for a supportive tribe when quitting alcohol. We are both seeing a societal shift as people acknowledge the health risks of drinking alcohol – which is heading for a cigarette moment. Although drinking alcohol before bedtime may help initially with falling asleep but compromises the quality of sleep, leading to irritability, fatigue, and other negative effects on health. Alcohol's Effects on Sleep and Health:  Alcohol consumption can compromise sleep quality, metabolism, and overall health. It can disrupt the body's natural processes, leading to weight gain, reduced productivity, and increased cravings for unhealthy foods. James shared some Benefits of his alcohol-free lifestyle which included improved physical health, mental clarity, productivity, and financial success. I I asked him for his advice for anyone who is struggling to get started on this journey: He suggested starting with a commitment to at least 30 days of sobriety as an experiment, but most importantly be open to extending it to 90 days or longer. We agreed on the importance of Avoiding the stop-and-start cycle and focussing on the long-term benefits of sobriety. Overcoming cultural conditioning and resistance may feel challenging, but taking action building an alcohol free lifestyle will lead to transformative results and a better quality of life You can contact James Swanwick via his website alcoholfreelifestyle.com He’s also on Instagram and has a podcast called Alcohol Free Lifestyle If you’re interested in doing an alcohol free Challenge as an experiment then keep an eye open for Tribe Sobers #Sober66 whih starts March 1st and September 1st More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mothe

Last weeks podcast was a Group Discussion on Corporate Drinking and Isabella Ferguson was one of my guests - you can listen to that discussion via this link.    Isabella is a former litigation lawyer turned counselor and coach - specializing in stress, burnout, and alcohol. In this episode:- Isabella began drinking at 14, associating it with fitting in, relaxation, and risk-taking. Her drinking escalated during her career as a lawyer, using alcohol for networking, coping with stress, and socializing. We discussed the prevalence of alcohol consumption in high-pressure environments such as law firms, where it is often used as a coping mechanism for stress As Isabella got married and had children her drinking ramped up as she tried to balance work and motherhood – resulting in burnout and strained relationships. She finally hit rock bottom when she became so severely intoxicated that she needed hospitalization, leading to her decision to seek help and enter rehab. Even after rehab, she was still keen to try moderation but eventually shifted her mindset through education, -through books like "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace which encouraged her to change her limiting beliefs around alcohol Isabella transitioned her career to become a counselor and coach, specializing in helping others overcome alcohol dependency and manage their stress These days she conducts seminars in workplaces, especially in law firms, to raise awareness about alcohol consumption and promote healthier habits. Here is a link to our Group Discussion on that topic so that you can hear more about her Wellness Challenge Isabella emphasized the changing attitudes towards alcohol in the workplace, with more focus on wellness and productivity, especially among younger generations. Her tips for managing stress without resorting to alcohol include understanding one's nervous system and triggers, setting boundaries, reframing negative thoughts, and seeking support from sobriety coaches or resources. We discussed the Impact of Personal Choices on Workplace Culture: Whether it’s a heavy drinking boss encouraging his employees to drink or a group of non drinkers abstaining from alcohol there will be an impact on workplace culture Isabellas passion project is around Parenting and Alcohol Education: with the goal of preventing harmful drinking habits from forming at a young age, She emphasized the importance of parents being role models and challenging societal norms surrounding alcohol consumption. Her personal benefits of sobriety include increased calmness and contentment, greater resilience, and being a positive role model for children by demonstrating that alcohol is not necessary for enjoyment and celebration. To find out more about Isabella go to her website isabellaferguson.com.au She is also on IG and has 2 podcasts:- "Destress for Success" and "Not Drinking Today" More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Le

This week I'm facilitating a discussion between three fabulous ladies - all working in the sobriety space.   Isabella Ferguson: Former litigation lawyer turned counselor and coach specializing in stress, burnout, and alcohol.   Kathryn: Former PR and media professional now running her own coaching business, focusing on coaching high-performing individuals with problematic alcohol relationships - her personal story is here.   Nikki: Former corporate worker in London, now a certified life and leadership coach incorporating mindfulness into her coaching, particularly addressing alcohol addiction - her personal story is here. In this episode:- We discussed the prevalence of alcohol culture in corporate environments, including pressure to participate in after-work drinking events and networking activities centered around alcohol. We shared personal anecdotes, highlighting the normalization of excessive drinking in professional settings and its detrimental effects on mental health, self-esteem, and productivity. Those anecdotes included a story of going into the office after a couple of hours sleep, me getting a career tip from my boss to drink in the BBC club more often and my personal favorite from Nikki – the sandwich man coming round at 11am with his hangover cure snacks. We reflected on how hangovers were viewed as a badge of honor, especially among high-functioning individuals striving to prove their capabilities despite their heavy drinking. In spite of the fact that women cannot physically drink as much as the guys without seriously damaging their health there was pressure to keep up with male counterparts in drinking culture to gain approval and fit into workplace environments. As high functioning alcoholics we convince ourselves to keep the show on the road – both professionally and personally – this comes at a huge cost to our mental and physical health One of the (many) benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle is that we can redirect that energy towards positive endeavors We all have a sense of changing attitudes towards alcohol in the workplace, as companies take more proactive measures in addressing alcohol-related issues among employees. There is a shift towards promoting workplace wellness and inclusivity for non-drinkers Initiatives like Kathryn & Isabella's 30-day workplace wellness challenge to raise awareness about alcohol's impact The 30 day wellness challenge is surfacing a much need dialogue about alcohol in corporates There is a need for comprehensive alcohol policies in the workplace If these policies are carefully worded, produced in consultation with employees they can help to bring about a culture change However they must address the issue without shame and offering support – otherwise the danger is that they will drive the drinking culture underground Education is the key tool in changing attitudes towards alcohol If ambitious executives realised that they could be 30% more effective if they ditched the booze many of them would do it! Even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us it will prevent us from reaching our potential – most employees and certainly all corporates want people to be working at their full potential The key is a recognition of sobriety as a strength rather than a weakness Contact information for Isabella, Kathryn, and Nikki is below:-isabellaferguson.au.com Kathryn is at thealcoholmindsetcoach.comNicci is at metta365.com Please contact them directly if you think your company could benefits from their input More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with al

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year.  Registration for the current program is open until 21st February  - more info here. We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention In this episode:- I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle The Breaking Free program has four components… Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation… The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program  We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom.  Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session.  By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:- The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead. While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace.  You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key…. Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it! The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future. The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support.  You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love.. Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives….  All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass. While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands…. As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time! Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 21st February - more info here. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Appl

My guest this week is Gigi Langer She’s a presenter, retreat leader, and author of two books to help overcome negative thinking. She holds a PhD from Stanford, She 37 years of sobriety and is also in recovery from falling in love with men called Arthur. In this episode:- Gigi grew up in a family affected by alcoholism, witnessing her father's frequent drinking and arguments with her mother. Gigi initially turned to occasional drinking but in effect preferred marijuana to cope with emotional pain, particularly after her first marriage ended. She pursued a career in education, specializing in helping teachers improve teaching and students' learning. She found herself using romantic relationships as a means of escape and self-medication. A psychologist diagnosed Gigi with early-stage alcoholism, She accepted her addiction and sought help through a 12-step program, joining AA in 1986. Gigi Initially struggled with feelings of shame and self-worth, finding it hard to seek help and admit her problem. However she eventually overcame her reluctance to attend meetings and eventually found a sponsor who provided crucial support. Stayed committed to sobriety, attending meetings regularly, staying in therapy, and addressing negative thinking patterns. Explored self-hypnosis and other methods to retrain her mind and cope with emotional pain. Explored deeper layers of recovery, including addressing false beliefs and childhood trauma through Adult Children of Alcoholics and other support groups – including Women who Love too much We recover in layers which is why we can go deeper as we move through our years of sobriety We also heal in layers which can remove the fear of therapy and “doing the work” In effect it means that we heal at a manageable pace rather than becoming overwhelmed by suppressed emotions Writing and Books: Gigi shared the journey of writing "50 Ways to Worry Less" and "Love More Now" and kindly offered pdfs to anyone struggling financially – go to her website which is www.gigilanger.com – its in the shownotes More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

This week we’re celebrating our 200th podcast episode by taking you through our Top Twelve podcasts – the episodes which have had the most downloads since we started the podcast back in 2020  There's a clip from each podcast as well as the link to the whole episode Or if you’re really organised you can even make them into a playlist! Numbers 10,11 & 12 So coming in with 2,200 downloads each is a trio of ladies who’ve taught our Tribe so much about how our brains work… Author Dr Loretta Breuning, Neuroscientist Staci Danford and Stanford Psychiatrist Dr Anne Lembke It’s important to remember that we are wired for survival rather than happiness and our default state is one of anxiety as we are on the look out for threats.. However once we understand how to trigger our happy brain chemicals we can structure our days to ensure that we get a regular dopamine hit to lift our mood So let’s start with Dr Loretta Breuning who helped me unpack the cause of my own “early sobriety blues” Have a listen to the first interview I did with her which was in August 2021  Loretta also did an interview with me very recently to talk about her new book which is called Why Youre Unhappy – that came out on January 20th this year. The next lady in our trio is neuroscientist Staci Danford who taught us about our Lizard brain and how we need to manage it… she even recommended we give it a name.. she calls hers Ernie! That interview came out in August 2021  Here is a link to that episode  The third of our trio is Stanford Psychiatrist Anna Lembke who’s written a top selling book called Dopamine Nation It’s an awesome book which I highly recommend if you are interested in the science of addiction – her explanation of the Pain/Pleasure balance is superb That episode is called Why we get Addicted and came out in November 2023  Here is the link  Moving away from neuroscience to number 9 in our Top Twelve In that spot we have Sobriety Coach Lori Massicot – Lori is the host of a podcast called 50 and beyond and like me is convinced that ditching the booze is one of the very best things we can do for ourselves as we get older Her episode is called Why we need to ditch the drink in mid life and came out in December 2021 Here is the link  I also did a fun episode with Lori recently when we listed the 15 Signs that you need to take a Break from Booze – signs that Lori and I ignored for far too long! That one was released on January 27th this year Next up we have Melissa Witherspoon – she’s the author of a touching memoir called I’m Sober…So Now What? Melissa has relapsed several times and has some invaluable insights into the various stages of relapse She observed that there are 3 stages of relapse Stage 1 is emotional relapse – not even thinking about drinking yet but observing the triggers that seem to be getting more frequent Stay in Stage 1 long enough without taking action and you may move to Stage 2 which is the mental relapse when you start to feel uncomfortable in your skin – and skip activities like connecting with your sober tribe and sticking to your exercise routine – all things that relieve triggers Stay in Stage 2 long enough and you may move to Stage 3 which is physical relapse when you are back in active addiction The advantage of knowing about these 3 stages are that you can keep your radar sharp for Relapse Warning Signs – all different for different people but you need to be able to pick up if you are feeling a bit “off” as Melissa puts it – keeping a journal is a great way of monitoring your emotions For Melissa it shows up in a lack of self care – if she starts neglecting things like her hair washing routine she will see it as a warning sign and tune in to what’s going on.. Learn more from Melissa by listening to the episode which came out on September 2022 and is called Relapse Warning Signs Here is the link  So from the three stages of relapse we go to the 4 stages of alcoholism – a very moving share from Tribe member Vaness

My guest this week is Sobriety Coach Lori Massicot. Lori was on the podcast back in 2021 and that episode was one of our most popular ones with more than 2,000 downloads.  We were talking about why women should quit drinking in mid-life – that seemed to strike a chord with many of our listeners - Here is a link to that podcast  I invited Lori back so that we could highlight the signs… The signs that we are drinking too much..  Signs that most of us ignore for as long as we can! Trying (and failing) to moderate has to be a big one… a moderate drinker is someone who might have a glass of champagne at a wedding or a glass of wine with a special meal… alcohol isn’t even on their radar! Once we’ve crossed a line with our drinking there is no moderating, no going back – just going forward and creating an alcohol free life that we love. Creating Rules around our drinking is another classic sign – it’s a sign that we know its getting out of control and that we need to rein it in… to avoid having to give it up altogether which is the ultimate nightmare for most drinkers! Having no “off” switch – however good our intentions are once we’ve had that first glass of wine all the bets are off – as the saying goes “one is too many and a thousand isn’t enough” We drink for the buzz – personally I wasn’t bothered if I was drinking a fine wine or a bottle of plonk – for me it was all about the buzz – I used to drink for the way it made me feel rather than the taste. Waking up at 3am wracked with anxiety – of course that’s when the alcohol is leaving our system so if we’ve been numbing out to avoid thinking about a problem it will reappear with a vengeance at 3am. Drinking alcohol is like pouring gasoline on our anxiety! The shift from drinking to socialise to drinking to self medicate. The normal timeframe is about 20 years… so many woman drink to socialise in their 30’s and 30’s but then as the demands of juggling a career and childcare pile up they rely on it to cope with their stress. If you worry about the prospect of having to quit drinking one day – if that’s your worst nightmare – if you can’t even imagine what your life would be like without alcohol then that’s a sure sign you need to take a break Along with self medicating with alcohol comes the habit of drinking alone – a sure sign that it’s moved away from the fun place to the place of numbing out the strains of the day. You heard Lori saying that she had hangovers that lasted 2 or 3 days – as we get older our bodies struggle to cope with excessive drinking. We have less water in our bodies and become more susceptible to the dangers such as breast cancer. Finding yourself in the Groundhog Day routine of daily drinking is another sign – waking up feeling under par and vowing not to drink that evening. By 5pm you’re feeling quite perky and well up for a glass of wine!  If we drink every evening we spend our days in withdrawal from alcohol – that’s why that first glass of wine tastes so good! Increasing level of tolerance is another warning sign.  When I started drinking I could get a nice buzz going with a couple of glasses of wine but towards the end of my drinking career I could drink two bottles of wine and not feel a thing! Being very health conscious – doing the yoga, eating organic yet working your way through a bottle of wine in the evening. It’s as if the alcohol is the last piece of the puzzle - although we know if our hearts it’s not good for us we just can’t let it go.. Taking a strategic approach to your drinking is a bit of a give away – I would plan my week on a Monday morning and make sure that I hadn’t scheduled anything too taxing for the morning after a night out! You worry about your drinking!  If it’s on your mind then take action – don’t torment yourself any longer – go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe.  You don’t even need to quit drinking straight away – just listen and learn and get inspired by people who’ve done it. Finally if you’re listenin

My guest this week is Dr Loretta Breuning who is the author of The Happy Brain. Loretta was on the podcast back in 2021 and that episode was one of our most popular ones with more than 2,000 downloads.  Here is the link to that podcast episode. So she’s back by popular demand and also because she’s just released a new book with an intriguing title:- Why You’re Unhappy:  Biology vs Politics In this episode:- Loretta's Background: She is the founder of the Inner Mammal Institute. Author of "Habits of a Happy Brain," focusing on boosting serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphin levels. Shifted from being a college professor in social science to psychology, discovering the role of brain chemicals in animals and its relevance to human behavior. Learned Skill of Happiness: Challenges the notion of automatic happiness, presenting happiness as a learned skill. Questions popular beliefs about automatic happiness in the state of nature and the medical model suggesting unhappiness is a disorder. Default State of Unhappiness: Unhappiness is described as the default state, triggered by perceived threats or obstacles to meeting needs. Importance of Achievable Goals: Emphasizes the importance of small, achievable goals in maintaining dopamine levels. Advises against overwhelming, forever-oriented objectives. Seeking Rewards and Replacements: Discusses the concept of seeking rewards and replacing them when letting go of one, such as alcohol. Highlights the importance of finding inherently rewarding activities. Early Sobriety Blues and Projects: Addresses early sobriety blues and suggests engaging in a project to maintain motivation and prevent the post-goal drop in dopamine. Ongoing Support Groups: Emphasizes the significance of ongoing support groups, social connections, and positive-focused communities for oxytocin release and a sense of protection. Mirror Neurons: Mentions the role of mirror neurons in learning from others' experiences, both positive and negative. Impact of Group Dynamics: Briefly discusses the impact of group dynamics, specifically the common enemy effect, on individuals' well-being. Book Title - "Why You're Unhappy, Biology vs Politics": Challenges the disease model of mental health. Suggests happiness is a learned skill and critiques societal expectations regarding effortless happiness. Antidepressants and Effortless Happiness Model: Briefly touches on the reliance on antidepressants and criticizes the model suggesting happiness should come effortlessly. Empowerment Through Understanding: Emphasizes the importance of empowering individuals, especially young people, by teaching them that happiness is a learned skill. Understanding the brain's chemical processes can lead to greater self-management and personal growth. Connect with Loretta Bruening: Listeners can visit her website (innermammalinstitute.org) and explore various social platforms. She offers a free 5-day Happy Chemical Jumpstart providing insights into rewiring brain chemicals. Loretta's new book is brilliant and I strongly recommend it – called "Why You’re Unhappy: Biology vs Politics" – available on Amazon More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagra

My guest today is Tribe Member Bontle Ngwana After a couple of decades of problematic drinking Bontle joined Tribe Sober in May 2022 – and hasn’t had a drink since! For some strong people like Bontle it’s simply a matter of making the decision and then connecting with the right community! You heard Bontle say that she was excited about her sobriety journey and that’s just what we say to our new members Don’t be depressed about the thought of ditching the booze Get excited – you’re embarking of a whole new phase of your life! You also heard her saying that she found her coaching with Lynette very helpful…. New members get an intro session with Lynette as part of their membership so yet another reason to join Tribe Sober   In this episode:-   Like so many of us Bontles drinking story begins at the age of 18 and escalated during university years   During her 20s and 30s she was busy studying and working but alcohol remained a significant part of her life.   Attempts to moderate were unsuccessful, she began to have blackouts and could sense her increasing dependency.   In her early forties Bontle was faced with the consequences of excessive drinking, including accidents and anxiety.   The COVID pandemic intensified her drinking habits, leading to daily consumption of a bottle of wine or more.   She struggled with guilt, anxiety, and a sense of loneliness associated with drinking.   The relationship with her daughter was affected, with her daughter expressing concern about the drinking.   Bontle had a car accident whilst driving in a blackout – this served as a wake-up call, but the drinking pattern continued.   The turning point came in 2022 after the end of a relationship which led to a period of self-reflection and a desire for happiness.   She began to realize the negative impact that alcohol had had on her life   So May 2022 marked the decision to quit drinking, a decision which was driven by hangovers, exhaustion, and the desire for a fulfilling life.   Bontle joined Tribe Sober attended the Zoom cafes and connected with the community – she found comfort, support and inspiration from others' stories.   Although initially, her motivation to quit drinking was external, focusing on relationships and reducing her anxiety - over time, it shifted to internal reasons, seeking purpose and personal happiness. Bontle is open to connecting with others who may need support via her Facebook or Instagram page More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll

After running Tribe Sober for 8 years and helping thousands of people to ditch the drink and embrace alcohol-free living I've learned a thing or two. My biggest insight has been that sharing our stories around alcohol is the most powerful way we can help others - that's why the heart of this podcast is recovery stories. This week I'm doing a solo episode - 10 reasons to do an alcohol free January - and 14 tips to get you through. In This Episode REASONS TO DO AN ALCOHOL FREE JANUARY A dry month is a great way to test your dependency - if you can't get through a month without booze then you need to make some changes Alcohol is so toxic that just taking a month off will have significant health benefits Alcohol is linked to liver disease and 7 different types of cancer - 1 glass of wine will raise your risk of breast cancer by 15% Alcohol will weaken our immune systems - and put us more at risk of becoming infected with Covid 20% of regular drinkers will become dependent over the years - drinking more than a bottle and a half of wine a week may damage your health A month off alcohol will reduce your anxiety, freshen up your looks, help you lose weight and enable you to get some good quality sleep Making a donation to our January fundraiser will give you a dopamine hit (giving makes you feel good) and enable you to receive online and community support for 31 days - you can sign up here SOME TIPS TO GET YOU THROUGH Shake up your daily routine and exercise every day Be ready to cope with your emotions - if you've been numbing your feelings with alcohol they will come to the surface Use a journal to track your progress, note your triggers and process your emotions Listen to music, make a soundtrack for your January Challenge - a real mood changer Have your go-to drinks -drinknil.co.za are offering 10% discount on all their alcohol free drinks for people doing our Challenge Find your tribe - its hard to do this alone - check out our membership program Please donate to our Earthchild Fundraiser - and get 30 days of community and online support - sign up link is here More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

This is the ninth year we’ve done our Annual Fundraiser and thanks to our generous donors we’ve raised nearly half a million rand over the years – that money had provided the gift of yoga to more than a thousand underprivileged children. If ou’re wondering why a disadvantaged child would benefit from yoga then you’re in the right place to learn more from my two guests…. First of all we’ll hear from Janna Kretzmar who is the founder of the Earthchild project  - and it’s the Earthchild project who have been the recipient of the funds we’ve raised over the last 9 years Janna is an amazing woman - receiving the "Woman of the Future" award from Santam After Janna we’ll hear from Tribe Sober's Campaign manager Courage Chiringa who will say a few words about his role in the Dry January challenge.. In this episode:- 2024 will be the ninth year that Tribe Sober has collaborated with the Earthchild Project for the Dry January Challenge Founder Janna Kretzmar tells us how she came up with the idea to start the project in 2007 - and why she thinks it's been such a successful project She got the idea after working on an eco project in Brazil and reading a book by a yogi about a project in schools in India - these were her influences She realised that it was important to partner with the schools/teachers for the long term - not just come in for short term projects and then leave Earthchild Clothing paid the salary of their first facilitator so that's how they got their name We talked about the power of positive role models in communities and how she is developing young leaders Earthchild provides yoga classes, gardening lessons, eco clubs, hiking clubs - connecting the children with their bodies and the environment The children come from communities with high levels of gang violence and unemployment - yoga provides a tool to help them cope with stress Some of the children who started yoga classes when they were 6 years old are now young leaders working in the Earthchild Project Tribe Sober campaign manager Courage told us about his visit to the Earthchild project and how he saw the children  benefiting from the various activities Coming from a disadvantaged background himself Courage explained how his success in life is partly due to the generosity of his supporters He has every intention of paying it forward and helping his community and he knows that’s what our sponsored children will do in the future Courage reminded us of how the fundraiser worked and that just R250/£12/$16 will sponsor a child for a whole year of yoga classes So whether you are in need of some support or just want to help an underprivileged child then please go to tribesober.com and you’ll see our fundraiser  Please help us to make our 9th Annual Fundraiser the best one yet! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choos

My guest today is William Porter William is the author of a book called Alcohol Explained and hosts a FB page of the same name. He's a lawyer and previously served in Iraq as a member of the Parachute Regiment.  In this episode:- William started drinking and smoking back at the tender age of just 14 and it evolved over the years He became curious about alcohol dependency and started delving into the science and discovering just how harmful it is. Like many of us the more he learned about how harmful it was the less he wanted to drink it! He explained how we end up with hangxiety after drinking. Hangxiety is the term for a hangover with a good dose of anxiety mixed in, caused by chemical changes in our brain which becomes oversensitized after a drinking session. If we drink a bottle of wine every evening, we'll develop a tolerance.  So that when we have our first glass of wine, our brain will be registering that the rest of the bottle will be following soon. And that's why it's so hard for us to stop at one glass, and why so many of us say we just don't have an off switch. William talks about cravings, which can be intense, but actually it's a matter of fantasy. You have a thought of a drink, and then you start fantasizing about how it would be, how it would look, how it would taste. And that's why quitting altogether, and not even entertaining these thoughts, is so much easier.  He explained that it can take quite a few years to become dependent, but the problem starts when you learn. Either consciously or subconsciously, we learn that after a drink we feel a bit low and then we need another drink to feel better. And by the time we've got to that stage, it becomes very difficult to moderate. Because every drink is giving you a desire for the next one. And once we've realised that another drink will quell the anxiety caused by the previous drink, then we will struggle to moderate. William explained the fascinating concept of FAB. Fading Effect Bias. That tends to happen when we're a few months sober, and we start thinking back fondly to those good old drinking days.  We actually forget how bad we were, and how things went horribly wrong sometimes. We just focuse on the good times instead. FAB is really dangerous, because that's when we start having those thoughts Oh I wasn't that bad. Maybe I could just have one glass now and again. Because we feel that we've now proved we're not an alcoholic,. But the trouble with restarting due to fab is that we'll just go back to the previous problematic drinking levels that we were at before. Maybe we can manage to moderate for two or three weeks, but then inevitably we’ll get back to over drinking. William suggested that rather than asking ourselves are we an alcoholic, we should consider whether alcohol is taking away more than it is giving to us. And he came up with a great analogy which described alcohol as a bit of a loan shark. We discussed sober socialising, which we agreed is tough at first, but William reminded me that feeling awkward is normal. Just think of children's parties, where the kids are hiding in their mom's dresses at the beginning and then tearing around the room screaming a couple of hours later. We decided it was a matter of feeling the awkward and doing it anyway. Socializing also becomes easier if we get curious and observe those drinkers. Be an anthropologist. Watch how animated the drinkers are during their first hour of drinking. And then they start talking too loud, standing too close, and of course repeating those stories.  Another bonus of being an anthropologist is that we realise that we don't actually want to be like this, so it can be a valuable building block in the wall of our sobriety. We talked about sleep, William's a bit of an expert on this topic and his books cover it in great detail. He explained about how alcohol damages the quality of our sleep. It reduces seven cycles of our valuable REM sleep  down to  about two.  He talked about

Ben Tuff.  In 2012 Ben decided to quit drinking and to take up swimming.  He became a long distance swimmer and is featured in a documentary called How I Swam my Way out of the Bottle In this episode Ben shares how he:- Started drinking around age 16, initially as a social activity. Escalated to more secretive and excessive drinking over the years. Transitioned to a teaching career with increased responsibilities. Coped with stress through a work-hard, play-hard lifestyle involving heavy drinking. Denied the severity of his alcohol consumption. Employed denial and avoidance to ignore the growing problem. Developed strategic methods to hide alcohol purchases and consumption. Used tactics like obtaining cash back to avoid a record of liquor store purchases. Developed a secretive routine to hide alcohol consumption. Would disguise vodka in vitamin water bottles to conceal drinking. Rock Bottom Moment: Ben describes a pivotal moment when his alcohol addiction caught up with him, leading to a panic attack and a hospital visit. Blood alcohol level prevented immediate admission to the emergency room. The realization that his secret was out marked the turning point towards seeking help and recovery. Detox and Rehab: Ben's decision to go to rehab, supported by his wife, was a crucial step in his journey to sobriety. He spent five days in detox and five weeks in rehab, learning how to navigate a world that felt foreign without alcohol. Early Sobriety: Post-rehab, Ben maintained a strong support system, including a psychiatrist from rehab who remained his psychiatrist. He actively engaged in his recovery, attending AA meetings, and committing to a schedule that included daily meetings and swimming sessions. Sobriety as a Gift: Ben views his journey to sobriety as a gift, recognizing the real, authentic joy and connection he experiences with his family. The contrast between the facade of happiness during his drinking days and the genuine emotions in sobriety reinforced the value of his recovery. Swimming as Therapy: Ben's venture into swimming, initially inspired by a sponsor, became a therapeutic outlet. His dedication to learning and mastering swimming, including open water swims, provided a space for mental processing and connection with a higher power. Documentary "Swim Tough": Ben's decision to participate in a documentary about his journey stems from a desire to make stories of recovery more accessible. The film, titled "Swim Tough: How I Swam My Way Out of the Bottle," aims to highlight the transformative power of recovery rather than just focusing on swimming. Message to Those Struggling: Ben encourages those struggling with addiction to reach out for help without shame, emphasizing the importance of seeking support. Benefits of sobriety He reflects on the positive changes in his life, such as increased energy, a genuine appreciation for simple pleasures like good coffee, and the ability to sleep soundly, as key benefits of sobriety. You can follow Ben via his website which is https://swimtuff.com/    More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We rel

My guest this week was Tribe Sober Team Member Lucy Dentith - Lucy came to a Tribe Sober Masterclass in London in 2018 and has been sober ever since!  She's also become an indispensible member of the Tribe Sober Team. In this episode: Importance of a Supportive Community: Having a tribe or a community of like-minded individuals is crucial for sobriety. Joining a supportive group, such as Tribe Sober, can provide encouragement and a sense of belonging. Usefulness of Tracking Progress: The tracker is a useful tool for recording and celebrating sobriety milestones. It should be used as a positive tool for encouragement rather than a means of self-criticism. Tangible Benefits of Tracking: Filling in a tracker, especially a paper one, provides a tangible and visceral sense of accomplishment. Celebrating small successes helps shift focus from negative thoughts to positive achievements. Finding Your "Why": Understanding why you want to change and focusing on the positive benefits helps in times of difficulty. A clear sense of purpose and positive motivations make the journey of change easier. Reframing Challenges as Opportunities: Viewing challenges as opportunities for positive change reframes the mindset. Sobriety is not a loss but an opportunity to gain a wonderful life with better health and relationships. Gaining More Than Losing: The worries about losing things due to sobriety often turn out to be unfounded. Sobriety brings numerous gains, including improved physical and mental well-being. Community Support and Celebrating Success: The importance of community support, such as Zoom Cafés, in celebrating and cheering for each other's successes. Helping others find healthy coping strategies and sharing success stories creates a positive and encouraging environment.                   Tips for Early Sobriety, Especially During the Festive Season: Plan Ahead: Plan activities and responses to challenging situations. Be Curious: Approach the sobriety journey with curiosity and self-reflection. Visualize Success: Envision positive outcomes and focus on enjoyable aspects of events. Choose Happiness: Opt for happiness over being right in arguments. Have an Escape Plan: Plan exit strategies if social situations become challenging. Starting the Sobriety Journey: Take the First Step: Acknowledge the need for change and start with small goals. Be Curious: Embrace curiosity as a companion in sobriety. Progress, Not Perfection: Understand that setbacks happen, and progress is more important than perfection. Continuous Learning: Keep developing coping strategies and seek support through coaching and reading. Healthy Coping Strategies: Learning to cope without defaulting to drinking is essential for long-term sobriety and personal growth. More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose

My guest today is Dr Anna Lembke who is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford – she’s also the author of a best selling book called Dopamine Nation. In this episode:- Anna began by defining Dopamine for us: - it’s a neurotransmitter which is central to pleasure, reward, and motivation, and plays a crucial role in addiction. One of the most exciting findings in neuroscience is that the same parts of the brain that process pleasure also process pain, and they work like opposite sides of a seesaw or a balance. In Anna’s book Dopamine Nation you’ll find some great illustrations which demonstrate the pleasure-pain balance and which feature little pain gremlins hopping on and off the see saw! There are 3 rules governing this balance Rule no 1.  The brain will always seek homeostasis as the neutral position Rule no 2.  Repeated exposure to alcohol can result in a chronic dopamine deficit - which is in fact the definition of addiction  Rule no 3.  The brain remembers addictive behaviours which means that a single exposure can result in relapse –that’s why moderation never works once we’ve crossed the line into dependence To quit drinking Anna recommends beginning with a dopamine fast, a 30-day period of abstaining which will allow the brain to restore homeostasis. The first 10-14 days will be spent in withdrawal so will be difficult but that difficult stage is going to pass so The key is to keep going – rather than stopping and starting which just means doings that really difficult bit again and again! Genetic vulnerability plays a role in addiction, - An alcoholic parent means you’re 4 times as likely to develop a dependence  But remember that "genetics may be the gun but your lifestyle is the trigger" – you can break the generational pattern Our brains were wired for survival in a world of scarcity but they don’t fit quite so well in this modern world of abundance… and that’s why so many people become addicted Anna recommends engaging in what she calls hard things, like exercise or cold water immersion, which can indirectly increase dopamine levels and provide a sense of reward. For example regular gym sessions will trigger the feel-good neurotransmitters  I asked Anna why support groups work so well and she explained that the genuine connections in recovery communities release both dopamine and oxytocin so If you’re looking for a recovery community to keep your dopamine flowing as you tackle this journey then just go to ts.com and click on join our tribe We also discussed the early sobriety blues – that low mood that can strike a few months into sobriety I certainly went through a period of feeling very low and uninspired in early sobriety – plenty of time on my hands but no idea what to do with it - a period I referred to as the void Anna says that tolerating the void is an important part of the human experience which can lead to bursts of creativity – that certainly happened in my case but certainly it took a while We now advise Tribe Members to get a project if they get the early sobriety blues – something to keep the mind busy and engaged - rather than sitting around waiting for happiness to strike! In fact we discussed the unrealistic societal expections to be happy all the time – these expectations can lead to people to believe that they are sick if they’re not happy This reminded me of my conversation with neuroscientist Staci Danford who believes that unhappiness is our default and that happiness is a learned skill –  a link to that podcast is here As Anna said we have to recognise that life is full of pain and to be alive means sometimes we have to suffer  I explained that at Tribe Sober we try to focus on what we gain in recovery, rather than what we lose – a reframe that Anna agreed is essential for success One of her tips for managing cravings was to intentionally engage in activities that press on the pain side of the balance.  -  that made me think of one of our members who used to take a cold shower every

We run our live Group Masterclass just four times a year and are often asked to provide a recording.... so we've done it! The Masterclass recording is available now.  The 3 hour Masterclass recording is split up into digestible sections and includes written exercises. Our Masterclass Intensive online course is a deep dive into this fascinating topic - 7 detailed modules to work through at your own pace. Intro session with Janet , Midcourse review with Sue and a coaching session with our Coach Lynette at the end.  More info about our courses here. In this episode:- During this solo podcast I'm giving you a flavour of our Masterclass with a tour of our Toolkit tried and trusted toolkit - here are the 15 tools! CONNECT with other people on the same path because connection is the opposite of addiction – if youre not yet in tribe sober then please go to our tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” for more info EXERCISE get moving – you may feel flat when you quit drinking so trigger your endorphins with exercise – at least an hour a day GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE – no more numbing out your feelings, personal growth and emotional maturity will come from that discomfort CHANGE YOUR MINDSET –remember this journey is not about willpower – its about changing your thinking about drinking – tackle your limiting beliefs around alcohol and your desire to drink will diminish VISUALISE – if you are tempting to drink just play the movie forward – what will happen if you have that drink you are longing for – you will enjoy it but what happens next?  Play the movie forward, you know the ending isn’t pretty! KNOWLEDGE IS POWER so learn everything you can – listen to podcasts, read the quitlit, take our Masterclass – the more you learn about the toxic effects of alcohol the less you will feel like drinking it! BE ACCOUNTABILE – Tribe Sober members are in accountability groups according to their length of sobriety and we have a weekly check in at the Zoom Café.  Write a Goodbye to Alcohol letter or start a blog. FIND A PROJECT – the early sobriety blues may hit after a few months – to combat your low mood you need a project to keep your happy brain chemicals triggered. Start exploring projects so you can dive into it if you are hit by a low mood. KEEP A JOURNAL – write your why list in the front – your why list will keep you motivated on track.  Use your why list to identify your triggers, process your emotions, record the benefits you are experience and to track your progress.  BE PREPARED – try lots of Alcohol Free drinks until you find your favourite. Fill your fridge with alcohol free drinks. Play the movie forward when you socialise – what will you drink and what reason will you give for not drinking! TRACK YOUR PROGRESS – every time we mark off a day as alcohol free we’ll get a dopamine hit – Tribe Sobers Annual Tracker is brilliant for keeping perspective and watching your progress.  If you’d like one of our trackers just email Sue membership@tribesober.com STAY BUSY – when you quit drinking you’ll have time on your hands so plan how you will use that time.  Try out new activities and interests, start looking for that project – don’t just sit around wishing you could drink and waiting for FOMO to strike!  BE READY FOR TRIGGERS! – when you get a craving to drink take a pause and breathe… the Power is in the Pause – be curious about the trigger and then get our your journal - analyse WHY you got a craving – write about it in your journal and decide how you will deal with it next time.  DO THE WORK – Prioritise your sobriety – your recovery will be the foundation on which you can build the rest of your life.  Make it your focus for 3 – 6 months – do the work and your reward will be a healthier and happier future. FIND YOUR PURPOSE – once we stop drinking we reconnect with who we are and what we really want to do with our lives.  We’re not put on earth to be happy 24/7 – we’re put on earth to find meaning and purpose.

Nicci Cloete is a coach, a facilitator, a mindfulness and yoga teacher.  She’s also been in recovery for ten years   In this episode:- Nicci experienced trauma in her early teens when her family had a home invasion – she was raped at the age of 13 She had medical and legal support but this was in the 80’s and there was no attention paid to the mental health impact. A few days off and then Nicci was expected to return to school and carry on. She turned to alcohol – stealing booze out of her parents wine cabinet – helped her to numb her pain and cope with the difficult emotions and the flashbacks – of course she had PTSD although it wasn’t diagnosed. In the morning Nicci would grab a bottle of wine and drink it before going to school, arriving drunk at school. She was developing the skill of drinking undercover and nobody called her out on it. In spite of the drinking she kept up with her schoolwork, became head of house and got the grades she needed to go to university Once she got to university there was no longer any need to be secretive as everybody drank although she did notice that not everybody drank like she did, not everybody was having blackouts After graduating Nicci went to London and worked in recruitment – very much a work hard play hard culture. Working from 7am to 7pm and then going to the pub to get hammered with her colleagues. Still suffering from blackouts and sometimes not remembering how she got home When she moved into a flat with a guy and his fiancé she did a lot of drinking on her own when she was in her room. The next morning she would emerge from her solitary binge perfectly groomed, looking like she had it all together. We agreed that it takes a huge amount of energy to keep the show on the road – to hold down a responsible job with a crashing hangover. Nicci moved to California where her wine habit continued Yoga had always been an important part of Nicci’s life and she was alternating between doing yoga and drinking her wine. When she returned to South Africa she was thrilled to discover that she was pregnant and immediately stopped drinking….for the first time in 20 years… And it wasn’t difficult at all! However once her babies had finished breastfeeding she started drinking again and got into the mommyjuice scene Once her children were sleeping she would dive into the wine Every morning she would wake up and vow not to drink that night but of course her resolution would always crumble She was in the groundhog day of daily drinking Like many of us Nicci would be able to drink normally at social events but once she got home she would carry on drinking on her own. Nicci’s turning point came one New Years Eve when she announced to her husband that she would be doing a Dry January… she got drunk on New Years Eve The next morning her husband announced that he would be taking their children away if she didn’t quit. That was her wake up call She went to a GP who was very straight with her –telling her that the alcohol would destroy her if she didn’t take control Nicci came out with a great analogy about moderation – trying to moderate when you’re an alcoholic is like getting into a boxing ring where you are going to get knocked o ut every time. You can duck and dive and try to avoid getting hit but at some stage you’ll get the sucker punch.  The only way to avoid this is not to step into the ring in the first place! Nicci got some help and did the work – she realised that she would have to lift the veil and see that her marriage was unfulfilling, that motherhood was hard and that she would have to face up and process the demons from her childhood trauma. We talked about how our emotional maturity stalls when we start to drink heavily Sitting with our feelings is the hard thing – the mature adult hard stuff which we must do One of the things that really helped Nicci was being aware of the Recovey Timeline – as she said there are many variations of this but as a rule of thumb:- 0-15 days in wit

My guest today is Brendon Watt who overcame his alcoholism to become a worldwide speaker, best-selling author and facilitator  In this episode:- Brendon grew up in Australia, within an unstable family and a lot of abuse. His father had a formula for what a man should be, emphasizing the importance of being tough and having a trade. Brendon tried to conform to these expectations by working in construction but by his late 20’s he was totally depressed. By trying to gain his fathers love and respect he lost himself and knew the life he was leading was not the right life for him By chance he discovered a technique called Access Consciousness and decided to give it a try Brendon booked a session and spent an hour and a half sobbing as he released his buried emotions He was so inspired by the Access Consciousness process that he trained to be a facilitator and began to make some positive changes in his life However he was still struggling with alcohol, which he saw as his “back door” – his escape This made me think of Glennon Doyle who talks about using alcohol as the “easy button” to avoid emotional discomfort Like so many of us Brendon spent years trying (and failing) to cut down on his drinking – trapped in an endless cycle of stopping and starting  Brendon eventually hit rock bottom and decided to go to AA  Although he was terrified of losing his back door escape he persevered He attended lots of AA meetings, and worked with a sponsor. He realised that he was going to have to go through some painful stuff, including stuff from his childhood that was very difficult to face… He realised that going through this pain would result in personal growth He did the work and gradually his life began to change We agreed that the journey to sobriety is a process that leads to freedom and a more authentic life. We also agreed that getting sober was just 10% of the journey but that it was the essential part – without sobriety we cannot tackle the rest of the work and learn to thrive When we quit drinking we need to take responsibility for our happiness – we can no longer rely on alcohol for those chemical highs Happiness is a learned skill and if you want to learn how to keep your happy brain chemicals firing then listen to last weeks podcast with neuroscientist Staci Danford Sobriety also enables us to consider other parts of our life.. are we eating healthily, does our exercise plan need stepping up… are we in the right job, the right relationship? If you need some help to look at your life and decide what needs changing then check out Glennon Doyles book and journal – called Untamed – some great triggers for those big scary questions in there! When I first realised that I would have to quit drinking I saw sobriety as a punishment but Brendan and I both agreed that in reality sobriety is a gift The journey to sobriety allows individuals to deconstruct their lives and build them anew, something regular drinkers may not experience. At Tribe Sober we recommend a book by Laura McCowen – the title is "We are the Luckiest" which says it all really Another quit lit book title that says it all is "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" by Catherine Gray Our conversation touched on the importance of honesty, integrity, and Brendon gave us a great example of catching himself in a lie – realising that when he was drinking the lies would come automatically We discussed the misconception that external sources, such as money or substances, can create happiness. Brendon used to think that when he had a certain amount in his bank account he would be happy – he got there but it didn’t make him happy! Brendan described his work with Access Consciousness, a program that empowers individuals to find the answers within themselves and discover their strengths. He highlighted the importance of people acknowledging their unique gifts and the potential for change. You can find out more about brendon via his website brendonwatt.com More infoSubscription mem

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Staci Danford - this is the second time she has been on the podcast - you can have a listen to our previous conversation here. Staci is a neuroscientist who loves working with the sober community.  In this episode she shares some really practical and useful information about our brain. In this Episode Staci’s husband walked out on her just before her 50th birthday – she was devastated at the time but now the years have passed she is able to look back and see that event as a catalyst for change… a real Wake Up Call Realising that she must take responsibility for her own happiness she went to grad school to study neuroscience Staci has no issues with alcohol but her father was an alcoholic – the whole family had tried to convince him to stop for years but only when he decided to stop himself did it work.. We talked about rehab and Staci explained that the success rate is a shockingly low 13.8% She explained that our brain tricks us into thinking that alcohol is making us happy but in fact it is a depressant – if you’ve been drinking for years then the alcohol will have altered the balance of your brain which is why you become increasingly dependent. When we understand how our brains work we can work with it – and that’s when the magic will happen – a great analogy is to think of how we use our computers – we work with programs that are installed in our computers – not against them! Understanding our brains means that we can understand ourselves better and see what we are gaining by ditching the drink – we need to create a “pattern interruptor” We mustn’t try to alter multiple habits at the same time – far better to focus on just the one Here at Tribe Sober we say “Just chase one rabbit at a time – if you chase several the chances are that they will all escape!” Staci advises that we focus on our successes “today I resisted a drink” and don’t look too far into the future (or avoid the F word as we say at Tribe Sober!) If you listened to Tribe Sober podcast episode 55 which was called “The Happy Brain” with Loretta Breuning, you may remember that she recommended setting an overall goal and dividing it up into smaller goals – this will keep our happy chemicals flowing as just aiming for a mini goal will trigger dopamine and of course we’ll feel good when we reach it. Staci is in agreement with Loretta and used the marathon analogy – if we sign up for a marathon we don’t immediately go out and try to run 26 miles – we design a training program and divide it into daily sessions – running a bit further every day.. You can find a great example of this on Episode 15 of the Tribe Sober podcast with one of our Sober Springers Kai – he did SS, achieved 66 AF days, then aimed for 100days, then 6 months, then a year – and now 3 years later he still hasn’t had a drink – but still doesn’t say its forever! Staci explained how our primitive lizard brain will go on autopilot unless we intervene – she calls her Lizard Brain Earl and calls him out if he tries to hijack her behaviour! She confirmed that our 66 day Sober Spring Challenge is long enough to create a new neural pathway to change our drinking patterns She also said that the “secret sauce” of Sober Spring was the community support We discussed the fact that our “drinking neural pathway will always be with us (if we’ve been drinking for years) – and that its easy to reactivate if we start trying to “moderate” after a period of sobriety. Staci loves our Goodbye to Alcohol letters and suggests reading them regularly to remind ourselves how bad the drinking got! She came up with a list of quick tips to boost our happy chemicals We start our annual 66 day challenge in September - called Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be Sober Autumn as well Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Chal

My guest this week is Kathryn Elliott who has been interviewed for a previous podcast focussing on Binge Drinking  Kathryn and I were both heavy drinkers…. and we’ve both had breast cancer These days we are both sober… and passionate about empowering other women with the knowledge they need about the link between alcohol and breast cancer. Knowledge which will make them think twice next time they think about having a drink. In this episode:- We talked about binge drinking which many of us get into when we are teenagers… and then keep the habit going until we are much older For example Kathryn was a binge drinker from the age of 15 to 46! Through her work as an alcohol mindset coach she has discovered that binge drinkers share similar traits:- A) Started binge drinking at an early age B) Celebrated by their peers and society for this behaviour C) Their binge drinking not perceived as a problem… more a rite of passage We agreed that many people are unaware of the definition of binge drinking – they tend to think it’s about the kids knocking back 15 tequila shots in a nightclub but in reality it’s more likely to be an older woman sitting at home alone drinking a bottle of wine. So to be clear the definition of a binge is 4 standard drinks on one occasion for a woman and 5 for a man If we are binge drinking on a regular basis our liver will not get adequate time to recover – which is why low risk guidelines suggest going alcohol free for several days a week Kathryn explained the psychological profile of a binge drinker - a fast drinker, without an off switch, often blacking out and unable to get control of it over many years in spite of setting rules. We also agreed that willpower was ineffective when trying to control binge drinking – so many of us have tried "the rules" – I’m only having 2 glasses of wine tonight etc but once the first glass is drunk all the bets are off! The only thing that will work is a mindshift, working on our limiting beliefs so we can see alcohol for the poison that it is Kathryn and I are both breast cancer thrivers and we were equally shocked with our diagnosis - neither of us had any idea that there was a link between alcohol and breast cancer Kathryn began to do her own research into the link and was shocked by what she found… also shocked as she realised that this was never a topic of conversation with her friends nor had she ever seen a health campaign highlighting this She was also shocked to discover that even low to moderate amounts of alcohol will increase our risk of breast cancer Just 3 standard glasses of wine a week can increase the breast cancer risk by 15% Each additional drink will add another 10% to that risk During her research Kathryn came across an American campaign called "Drink Less for your Breasts" which was impressive and had so much information The research was showing patterns… links between early binge drinking habits that could show up as breast cancer later i Both Kathryn and I had estrogen driven breast cancer – and alcohol does increase the amount of estrogen in the system We agreed that the lifestyle choice to be alcohol free that we have both taken feels empowering… We can’t guarantee that we’ll never get a recurrence of our cancers but we can be confident that we are doing everything we can to avoid it So Kathryn and I chatted about our binge drinking and our breast cancers and then moved onto our third topic which is educating corporates about the health risks of alcohol Kathryn is running seminars for leaders and employees in workplaces to help them understand how alcohol impacts their emotional, mental and physical health. I think this kind of initiative is well overdue and certainly would have welcomed it during my corporate career which involved a work hard/play hard culture! A lot of Kathryn’s clients are executives who’ve had alcohol issues which had either been enabled through the workplace or had been completely ignored. That prompted Kathryn to g

My guest today is an extraordinary young man – his parents were both heroin addicts and he became an addict himself.  His rock bottom included jailtime, homelessness and self mutilation.  In the episode Both of Jared’s parents were drug addicts but although life was chaotic they did manage to parent Jared until they got arrested when he was 12 years old Then he went to live with his aunt who “rescued” him as he put it Sadly his mother died of her heroin addiction when he was 14 years old which led to him using alcohol to cope with the pain of losing her Jared describes himself as a “functioning alcoholic” from the age of 15 years old At the age of 18 he started using Oxycontin as he was very against heroin due to his parents' experience He didn’t know what Oxycontin was but it was a pill made by a pharmaceutical company so he assumed it was safe He quickly became addicted and discovered that its very similar to heroin and in fact he switched to heroin  Whereas alcohol had helped him feel more confident and enable him to socialise heroin completely numbed his feelings As he says cocaine or acid can amplify emotions whereas with heroin he felt he was purchasing 12 hours of oblivion Jared continued to use heroin but as he puts it “ the effects diminished as the consequences increased” These consequences included selling his possessions to get heroin and by the age of 22 he was homeless and living on skid row Heroin was still effective in completely numbing him from reality – the reality that he was homeless, penniless and without a family member to turn to… However by the age of 25 reality was getting through so he began taking multiple drugs to block it out The consequences got more serious and he ended up spending time in jail and suffering serious health problems He would black out and wake up with injuries – once he lost a toe, another time he woke up with a serious facial injury That was when he finally decided to consider the idea of getting clean He managed to get sober via a state funded rehab where he lived for four months There are only four state funded rehabs in California and many more for profit rehabs On the subject of rehabs Jared gave us some shocking information about corruption in the rehab industry, Quote from one of Jareds article “the rehab industry has become nothing more than a glorified insurance scam with a terrible success rate… ..despite making billions upon billions of dollars Can you imagine paying $30,000 for something that doesn’t work 90% of the time? Yet new rehabs are popping up almost daily with no sign of slowing” When Jared got clean he longed for tangible things, he wanted a job and somewhere to live… he had no idea of the intangible benefits that would come his way – a sense of self worth, the ability to love himself and the joy that comes from helping others Apart from helping others to get clean Jared is influencing policy decisions and feels there is currently a political will to change the current situation People and companies are leaving California which is reducing tax income, forcing politicians to come up with solutions That’s why he feels that politicians are open to dialogue with someone like him… someone who understands addiction and homelessness from the inside Jared has plenty of ideas to bring about social change which he writes about in his book the Crooked Smile which will be published in 2024 His articles can be read via Substack, he is on TW @jaredklickstein and his email is…jklickst@gmail.com More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship w

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year.  Registration for the current program is open until 13th October - more info here. We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention In this episode:- I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle The Breaking Free program has four components… Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation… The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program  We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom.  Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session.  By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:- The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead. While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace.  You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key…. Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it! The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future. The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support.  You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love.. Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives….  All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass. While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands…. As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time! Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 13th October - more info here. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple p

My guest today is Recovering Attorney Lily Lily was my guest on the episode which came out on May 6th – its already had 2,000 downloads and we had some great feedback from that one – if you missed it then have a listen to Lily sharing her story here  Lily is a coach these days and one of the things that she helps people with is Relationship Coaching so today we’re going to focus on Sober Dating If your romantic relationships have always been lubricated with alcohol then this could be a skill you’ll need in your toolkit as you build your alcohol free life In this episode:- Lily’s full drinking story can be found on our previous episode which came out in May but she gave us a summary She began her drinking career as a teenager and it continued during her legal career. She became a daily drinker, frequently drinking alone and experiencing blackouts At 37 she reached rock bottom – in fact as she says in her previous interview she had a series of rock bottoms, one of which involved drinking alone in her apartment all weekend She felt hopeless, useless and miserable and finally reached out for some help Reaching out for help is actually the hardest step of all - so if you’re worried about your drinking then reach out to tribe sober today – just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe and we’ll show you how to quit drinking and build an alcohol free life you love So Lily got sober in 2018 and she’s been sober ever since – if you want to hear how she did it catch the previous episode As we switched to talking about relationships Lily explained that she’d been shy as a child so as a teenager alcohol helped her to fit in – to feel part of things It helped her to feel prettier, funnier and more vivacious, especially around men As she got older alcohol would always be a major player in her relationships She would drink before the date… which often took place in a bar If her dates didn’t drink like she did then that could be a problem Lily believed that alcohol made everything a bit brighter, a bit easier and less awkward – she just couldn’t imagine her life without it She certainly couldn’t imagine dating without it! During her first year of sobriety she didn’t date at all She believed the advice she had heard about focusing on sobriety and avoiding any major life changes during that first year. Major life changes like changing jobs, moving house and of course starting a new relationship Lily had to focus on learning to love and look after herself before she would be in an emotional state to look after someone else She had the insight that she had been using men a bit like she’s been using alcohol – the highs of a new relationship giving her a dopamine hit and making her feel good just like alcohol did As Lily moved into her second year of sobriety she went on her first sober date She knew the guy, they both liked and respected each other and they had things in common Although that relationship didn’t develop into anything serious Lily felt proud of herself – proud that she had shown up as a very different person By this point she felt so much clearer about who she was, what she wanted and what kind of person she was looking for We talked about the risk of relationships between people in recovery and how they can crash and burn The common struggle may create a bond which means you feel that you’ve found your soulmate but it makes sense for you both to get that year of sobriety first to avoid any risk of relapse We talked about the dangers of cross addiction and how we can transfer our love affair with alcohol to food or shopping or sex I asked Lily how a sober person should start looking for a new relationship once they had completed their first alcohol free year Apparently there are sober dating apps/websites – in fact a quick google search came up with a list of 8 sober dating apps which I’ll add to the shownotes https://resurgencebehavioralhealth.com/blog/8-best-sober-apps-for-people-in-recovery/ Although Lily met some

Belle got sober back in 2012 and was one of the first people in the Sober Space, one of the first to share her own story and to try and help others to make a change… In this episode:- Belle was not interested in alcohol as a teenager, she’d actually noticed what it did to people and didn’t like what she saw As she got into her twenties she started to drink the odd beer Interestingly she would never buy a six pack – somehow she knew it was a better idea to buy a single beer at a time Way before she had developed any level of dependence she recognized that alcohol “spoke to her” as she put it… A decade later her consumption stepped up until she was drinking four or five times a week, three or four drinks at a time As she hit 30 she was finding it harder to moderate She started taking AF beers to social events and alternating between her alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks A decade later she decided that she needed to take a break from alcohol to prove that she wasn’t an alcoholic In her late 30’s Belle got married and felt she had a “partner in crime” as she put it Drinking wine with dinner at home and ordering a bottle when they were out didn’t seem at all excessive They would order wine by the case and it felt very “grown up” and sophisticated Belle’s husband drank the same amounts that she did but in fact he didn’t think about alcohol in the same way that she did This realization actually didn’t surface until she quit when she realized that he could take it or leave it – he was a “normie” as she puts it Belle was used to taking a few days off the booze now and then when her workload got heavy or she had to get up early but when she decided to quit for a month she only got to 7 days That was when it hit her that she might have a problem Her second attempt at taking a month off alcohol also failed so she decided she had to approach this differently A friend of hers sent her an anonymous blog from someone who was trying to quit Belle loved the idea of blogging… and getting responses from people who were on the same path She created a blog on wordpress and posted her first entry She got an encouraging response the next day and found it “surprisingly helpful” People were giving her advice and confirming that yes those first couple of weeks were hard and suddenly she realized she wasn’t alone There was actually a roadmap to this sobriety journey! Back in 2012 there were no real alternatives to AA or rehab She had never felt “bad enough” for those options so imagined she would just have to struggle along as a grey area drinker Her blog was such a revelation that she wasn’t alone in this and that there were other people out there who she could connect with She blogged for a year and then started to offer online support via daily emails   I asked Belle for her personal benefits of sobriety and she listed sleep, being able to count on herself and feeling proud of herself – for making such a big change with a ripple effect. Her anxiety and irritability reduced and overall she was surprised at the positive impact this change had made to her life She remains unconcerned about questions about her alcohol free lifestyle as she feels that people are actually not that interested If asked she just says “I’m not drinking these days as it was affecting my sleep” and finds that nobody ever takes it further… In 2016 she wrote a book called Tired of Thinking about Drinking which was the name of her blog If you’re familiar with Belle’s work then you will know all about Wolfie – that was the name she gave the voice in her head urging her to drink I loved Belle’s analogy about the toddler in the supermarket yelling for a donut…. If you give him a donut he will just repeat that behaviour next time… The trick of course is to deny the donut that first time and even though it might get noisy and embarrassing in the supermarket the child is unlikely to repeat the behaviour as it didn’t work So we have learn to say no to Wolfie – say no to that v

My guest today is Kirsty Mulcahy from Soberbuzz Scotland Her work is focussed on supporting people to go alcohol free – she also coaches people who are sober and are asking themselves what comes next… In this episode:- Kirsty started drinking at the age of 14 The first night she drank she ended up in hospital having her stomach pumped That one weekend changed the trajectory of Kirsty's schooling Previously she’s loved school and was doing well but after the stomach pumping incident she hung out with the people she’d been drinking with – she needed to “fit in” We agreed that even when we get older we still have the need to fit in and one of the fears of quitting is around out identity – who will we be if we don’t drink! Who will my people be? We agreed that we are both blessed to be working in the recovery community where we have found our people and get purpose from helping people to change their lives Kirsty left school early and went to leave abroad at the age of 17 She drank heavily and took recreational drugs until she was 21 Returning to the UK she had the intention of returning to live overseas but she fell in love and had a child At the age of 27 she separated from her partner and became a single mom That’s when she realized that she had a problem with alcohol…although she didn’t stop until she was 41 14 years of knowing but not changing.. 14 years of thinking this isn’t right but feeling trapped because she had no idea HOW to make a change I so identify with this and in fact the average time that someone takes from the realization that they have a problem and doing something about it is 11 years So if you are in that place of knowing that you have a problem but feeling trapped please reach out today… there is help available, go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe! Apart from not knowing how to quit drinking Kirsty's whole identify was wrapped up in being the party girl There was also a dark side to the partying which was when she drank alone When Kirstys mom died suddenly she was 33 and her drinking became heavier She had no sober people in her life, no role models showing her that an alcohol free life was possible She had been to an AA meeting in her 20’s but was unable to relate to the people she found there Apart from the shock of losing her mom Kirsty had to cope with a lot of extra responsibility and she no longer had childcare for when she went to work She had no coping mechanisms so turned to alcohol Kirsty tried putting various rules in place around her drinking but ended up breaking them She had lots of “rock bottoms” but found herself moving the goalposts For example she thought that if she ever woke up in a strangers house the morning after she would quit But she did…and she didn’t quit One of the things that prevented her from getting help was the shame… she just didn’t want to tell anyone how bad it had got Another factor that kept her trapped was the thought that people would realise that she had a problem if we stopped When we give up smoking we get congratulated but when we give up drinking we just get lots of awkward questions! Like many of us Kirsty was high functioning and managed to hold down a job and maintain her parenting role.. She also poured huge energy into keeping everybody happy so that no-one questioned what was going on in her life Without her mom to look out for her Kirsty felt very alone… there was nobody close to her to see just how bad her drinking had got…nobody to advise her Her final rock bottom came in December 2017 when she woke up surrounded by empty bottles and drug paraphernalia… She got on her knees and asked for help… She couldn’t do this anymore… If YOU ever wake up feeling exhausted and hungover… and decide you can’t do this anymore please embrace that moment, it’s your turning point so don’t ignore it, reach out for some help  Kirsty reached out for some help that day.. she signed herself into a crisis centre When she returned home she went cold turkey Th

In this episode I interview an important member of our Tribe Sober team - Jane Rivera.  She came along to a workshop in 2016, ditched the drink and remains a valued Tribe member, inspiring others to change their relationship with alcohol.   In this Episode Jane tells her how her mindset has gone from "wanting to die" to "can't get enough of life" She was introduced to alcohol at an early age as her parents bought a pub in the UK She moved to Joburg as a teenager but struggled to settle and went off the rails A happy marriage and two beautiful children still didn't stop her from hitting the wine Jane finally realised that she would have to make a change when she felt her husband and kids pulling away from her She heard Janet on the radio and booked a workshop  She left the workshop thinking she would stay alcohol free for a while and then start drinking moderately These workshops are now called Kickstart Masterclass and are available via Zoom - more info here  After a few months of AF living Jane was feeling great and accepted that she would never be able to have "just one glass" She now loves her AF life, is close to her family again - and loves helping people in our community She has recently relocated to Norway - an adventure she could never have coped with back in her drinking days!More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

So my guests today are Dave & Susan Kenney   -  they believe that understanding the brain is the key to recovery and are the pioneers of Actualised Recovery – an approach which combines neuroscience, psychology and lifestyle medicine.  After running their own residential recovery program for a decade they have now pivoted to training recovery coaches.   In this episode:- At school Dave had excelled at sport but had struggled academically leading to him being called “lazy” Now that he understands so much more about the brain he sees that as a sign of his brain not working properly as he really wanted to do well.. and in fact believes that all children and adults want to do well He got into university on a sports scholarship and became an educator In 2008 as educators Dave & Susan noticed many kids struggling socially, academically and with addiction Although back then they knew nothing about the brain and hadn’t even heard of neuroplasticity they started to wonder whether it was possible to change a brain They came across the work of a neuro psychologist called Daniel Amen – He had published a book called “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” The book is about neuroplasticity which is our ability to rewire our brains Dave explained the concept that the brain drives behaviour – a concept which has been fundamental to their work and which they decided to apply to the world of recovery and The brain drives our patterns, our cravings and our choices so if we change our brains we can change our behaviour Dave explained that he sees the brain as the hardware of a computer and it’s no good addressing the software if the hardware is faulty So meditation, CBT or any other kind of therapy is not going to work if the brain is not working properly Dave came up with the analogy that trauma can be likened to a virus on a computer … causing our brains to dysfunction He also made the point that not everybody becomes addicted to alcohol – the people who do get addicted have a brain which is chemically predisposed to getting relief from alcohol If we impact and change the brain we can enable the person to create better habits and change their behaviours The catalyst for applying their knowledge to the recovery world was hearing about a friend who had lost her son to suicide which galvanized them into setting up their own recovery centre for 12 years they ran a private residential recovery program based on this Brain First approach – helping thousands of people and living on campus themselves Dave would interview patients on arrival and ask them what they would choose if he could give them anything – nine out of ten said happiness We discussed the futility of chasing short term goals to be happy – whether that’s a shot of tequila or a new car Dave shared his favourite word with us with is:- Eudomonia: which is living a life of long term values – the premise being that happiness and wellbeing come from how we live our lives rather than the pursuit of material wealth or power For Susan the definition of happiness is a life led with purpose Their approach fits with Maslows hierarchy which has purpose and self actualization at the top but physiological needs at the foundations – Susan explained that most patients would be dehydrated on arrival so no amount of therapy was going to work until that was put right They would work on basic health and then the therapies and treatments could come in There was an essential family component to their recovery program which often involved coaching the family how to agree boundaries rather than making threats We talked of the importance of changing patterns in early recovery..- you can’t just take away the alcohol and carry on with the same behaviour… So many of our patterns involve coupling various activities with alcohol – for example cooking dinner while sipping a glass of wine – we have to work on replacing this habit until we can cook happily without the wine “The more a neuron fires th

Even though we offer our members a lot of support already we’re always on the look out for new benefits. So these days apart from yoga, meditation, coaching, hypnotherapy, art therapy and accountability groups we can offer our members a functional medicine coach. A Functional Medicine Coach can help us with the transition between drinking a building a healthy lifestyle.  We all know vaguely what we need to do to be healthy but a Health Coach will personalise that plan for you and then ensure that you put it into action! So Tribe Sober’s new Functional Health Coach is called Laura Gujadhur  We began by clarifying the difference between functional medicine and conventional medicine. Laura explained that conventional medicine is disease management and treatment of symptoms whereas Functional medicine looks at the root cause of disease An example would be going to a conventional doctor with a rash – that doctor would be unlikely to ask you about your diet, your stress levels and whether you’ve had allergy tests -he would probably give you a cream to calm down the rash but he wouldn’t have got to the root cause of whats going on So functional medicine looks at the root cause of disease and illness and starts from there Conventional medicine is something we resort to when we are already sick Whereas functional medicine encourages you to work on your health so that you don’t develop chronic diseases… You become the architect of your own health Laura’s interest in health and wellness began about 5 years ago when she quit drinking A member of her family was diagnosed with depression and immediately put on anti-depressants which didn’t sit well with Laura About that time she had stumbled across a book called The Ultra Mind Solution by Dr Mark Hyman In this book he explains that when he heals someone’s gut and sorts out the imflammation the cognitive function improves and depression and anxiety go away As an ex nurse married to a doctor this came as a revelation to Laura – they never learned anything like this in medical school Laura decided to approach functional medicine in the same way that she had approached sobriety – she would read everything she could get her hands on After all Annie Grace’s book “The Naked Mind” had been such an eye opener for her and made her realise that Big Alcohol are inundating us with false messaging Her research into Functional Medicine made her realise that conventional medicine was simply driven by Big Pharma and that she had been naïve not to question it during her medical training and career. Laura’s decision to quit drinking for a month came after a party when she woke up with a hangover and thought…enough She white knuckled her way through the month and used the time that she saved (by not drinking) to read everything she could. Her belief systems around drinking had already been overturned by The Naked Mind and she realized that she couldn’t go back to drinking Laura threw the book at her sobriety and like so many others who have succeeded she treated it like a job. She told her husband she wouldn't be entertaining or going anywhere for three months as she wanted to concentrate on her reading. We all learn differently so it can be helpful to reflect on our personal learning style as we approach the difficult task of giving up alcohol and learning to navigate society without it. There are 4 distinct learning styles identified by Honey & Mumford in 1986. Activist Theorist Pragmatist Reflector So we all learn how to navigate our alcohol free journey in our own way and shouldn’t be comparing our progress with others… just keep trying and it will come together. Back to Laura.  What I found interesting was the fact that once she’d done all her research and reading she was absolutely ready to make a firm decision and her mantra was:- "Never Question the Decision" I think that’s such a helpful strategy which will stand her in good stead if she has a craving or is under pressure from others t

My guest this week is Tribe member Suzanna Poroski - a dance, a choreographer, a singer and a piano player! She's recently celebrated her first Soberversary so I began our conversation by her to introduce herself In this episode:- Suzanna’s first experience of alcohol was at the age of 14 when she got into her father’s brandy Rather than being repulsed by the taste of it she actually drank it until she blacked out As Suzanna said enthusiasm for alcohol after the very first drink is a warning sign of possible problems in the future She also remembers leaving school at lunchtime to drink beers at a friend’s house Her father was a drinker and her parents divorced when she was 13 - Suzanna left home at an early age Fiercely independent with an obsessive need to be liked she would go drinking with her friends in bars at the age of 16 – then bring people back to her place for drinks Drinking and driving was normalized in her friendship group Suzanna worked as a choreographer at Club Med in Bermuda and created a rule around her drinking She would only drink every second night – just like the teenage drinking, making rules around our drinking are a sign of dependence Suzanna describes Club Med as a breeding ground for alcoholics - when she left at the age of 30 she assumed that her drinking patterns would go back to "normal" As a child of an alcoholic Suzanna was familiar with the 12 steps from her Alateen meetings so when her own drinking started to escalate she went to AA As a dancer she was under huge pressure to stay slim so also struggled with her eating patterns so she went to Overeaters Anonymous as well! She did achieve period of sobriety via AA but also had some bad drinking episodes Like the time she was driving a rented car and woke up after a blackout with no memory of where she’d parked the car Or the time when she was so shaken by a drunk driving episode that she had to sleep with the lights and tv on for fear of lying in the dark and going into her own head as she puts it – the “bad neighbourhood” I think she called it! She was in New York on 9/11 so although she wasn’t directly affected just like the rest of the world she was shocked and horrified Suzanna lost her job as a result of 9/11 which meant she could stay in her apartment – eating drinking and watching Netflix – trying to numb her feelings She got to a point where the drinking just wasn’t working anymore so she managed quite lengthy spells of sobriety but always went back to drinking In 2014 she lost her business so once more turned to Netflix, drinking and food to cope She did manage to quit drinking but replaced it with an obsessive running routine – 5 miles a day and only missing a few days in 17 months She managed almost 3 years in sobriety with AA and then had a slip up… At Tribe Sober we often talk about “uncoupling positive experiences from alcohol” – the classic one here in South Africa is “I can’t enjoy the sunset without a glass of wine” – of course we have to replace those patterns with more healthy habits like “watching the sunset with an alcohol free drink”! So back to Suzanna’s slip up – she’d cleaned the house, done her hair and make up and was waiting for some guests to arrive – everything was good and she felt an irrational urge to celebrate with a drink that had been left over from a previous party… That’s when she started to wonder if AA was no longer working for her She dived into the quitlit and started to explore different approaches At the same time she felt her body was no longer tolerating alcohol like it used to… and giving her physical feedback that life would be better sober She still had a mental struggle going on, the cognitive dissonance that so many of us are familiar with – our conscious mind telling us to quit and being challenged by our subconscious beliefs that we need alcohol to enjoy our lives At Tribe Sober we talk about our “Not This” moment Suzanna had her "Not This" moment when she was walking along a bea

My guest this week is Annie McDonnell - an Australian executive with a difficult start in life followed by a 20 years career in the wine industry.  These days she's thriving in her alcohol free life and inspiring others as a Sober Coach. In this episode:- Annie’s father had a drinking problem and her parents had a difficult marriage – in fact her mother left the home when Annie has just 14 Unsurprisingly Annie felt angry and abandoned and it was about this time that she discovered that alcohol which became her best friend Unsure of her career ambitions Annie chose random subjects to study at university – one of them being Viniculture which she loved She went on to join Australia's burgeoning wine industry and loved her job Of course she got to hang out with her best friend alcohol every day and a tasting at a 9am sales meeting was not unusual! Annie enjoyed this lifestyle throughout her 20’s and 30’s but in her 40’s she crashed and burned She’d known that she had a problem with alcohol for years but just couldn’t imagine life without alcohol I was the same and we agreed that it was the fear of life without our best friend alcohol that keeps us trapped I sometimes wish I had a time machine that I could put some of our new members in – those people who are struggling – scoring a few alcohol free days and then giving in to a craving.. In early sobriety its impossible to imagine just how different your life will be if you make this change Annie came up with a great analogy about rocks – she said that when you are drinking it feels like you are carrying a backpack of rocks and when you stop you put it down….and life feels so much better, so much lighter you marvel at how wrong you were to fear alcohol free living It does take a few months of hard work but then you are free and your life starts to evolve in the most extraordinary ways so people need to have faith just like my favourite MLK quote Take the first step on the staircase even if you cant see the top – if you're ready to take that first step just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll take care of the rest! Annie described her “not this” moment which came in her mid forties as a result of severe anxiety which had left her unable to drive, unable to see people or even to lift a spoon to eat some soup.. "Not this" moments come to us when we are at rock bottom, we know we just can’t do this anymore Annie signed up for a 100 day challenge and felt great relief that she didn’t have to think about her drinking for 100 days That’s a great attitude to go into a challenge with – we have our annual 66 day challenge starting on 1st September so if you’d like to join that just go to the homepage of tribesober.com Annie and I talked about the power that we begin to feel as we become more aligned with who we really are in sobriety – we take control and no longer feel that things are just “happening” to us Like many of us who have been sober for a few years Annie felt pulled towards helping others so she trained as a Sobriety Coach and we talked about the Sacred Walk experience that she offers You can find Annie at her website powerfullysober.com, on LinkendIn of via email  annie@powerfullysober.com More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a scr

Jeff Graham founded the Bac2Zero sobriety group.  Like many of us in the recovery space Jeff’s initial sobriety goal was simply to quit drinking.  As he recovered his health, energy and creativity he decided he wanted to help others to do the same.   He describes sobriety as freedom – freedom from a world that was once filled with dread, regret and fear.  Although his goal started out simply as one of abstinence, his life has since grown into a life filled with dreams, hope and happiness. In this Episode Jeff enjoyed his first beer at the age of 16, it wasn’t so much the buzz he enjoyed as the status – he felt like he “fitted in”. Much as he enjoyed the social side of drinking he also discovered that he loved to drink alone – he would come home from a night out and have some drinks on his own – he felt like he needed some “Jeff time” as he put it Many of us are like this – and even in sobriety some of us can still get triggered when we get home from a social event – even when we were drinking AF drinks! I would work hard to behave myself at a social event and then down a bottle of wine when I got home! Jeff was into beer and from the age of 23 and was drinking a case of beer a day – of course his friends were all drinkers  His parents were both alcoholics and that’s why he was drawn to beer rather than spirits – he thought it was “better” – but of course it’s all ethanol! He started hiding his beers in the garage – so his wife and kids had no idea how much he was drinking or quite how bad it had got Someone asked him recently if sobriety was “hard” – it made him reflect on just how “hard” it was to be a functioning alcoholic – how hard it was to hold everything together. He got to the point when he knew he would have to cut down but he couldn’t face it – so he just started hiding his drinks more effectively! We talked about the buzz and how us drinkers love to maintain the buzz – in fact recent research has shown that the buzz only lasts for 20 minutes and then we carry on drinking to top it up After some beers Jeff would not go back to “normal” – he would feel lower than normal and reach for the beer to compensate He was starting to drink earlier in the day but always telling himself that “tomorrow” would be different. Eventually he ran out of lies – admitted defeat and booked himself into rehab for a week He needed this stay in rehab to draw a line under his drinking and to make a statement to his friends and family that he wanted to make a change We find that many of the people who come to our workshops are able to make use of the tools and community to draw that line under their drinking habits and to make a change  Jeff needed the accountability that came with rehab – he just couldn’t do this alone He didn’t actually learn much in rehab but he did a lot of self-reflection and of course met other people with the same problems When he was sharing his story he heard himself saying things that he hadn’t really registered before – that happens at our workshops – people get emotional when they share because they only realise just how unhappy alcohol has been making them when they tell their story out loud. Three months out of rehab he had a relapse – he wanted a reward, a last “hurrah” as he put it That did indicate that he still had work to do on his mindset – if we still see alcohol as a reward then it means it will always be hard to resist and we will suffer from FOMO Once we see alcohol for the addictive toxin it really is we will lose our desire for it which is the key to sustaining our sobriety After his relapse Jeff took his recovery more seriously – he started to listen more and began journaling to process his thoughts and emotions. He feels that it’s really important to get the negative thoughts on paper so then we can analyse them – it’s all part of being honest with ourselves. Of course when he stopped drinking he had to find other things to do – he learned that he couldn’t just wait until he had a cravi

If I had to describe a typical Tribe member then I would pick a lady in her 40’s or 50’s – successful career woman with a family.  Noody would dream that this lady had a problem with alcohol but in fact she’s been worried about her drinking for years. My podcast guest this week pretty much fits that profile...Tribe member Claire B In this Episode: Claire's parents didn’t drink much so her first experience of drinking was as a teenager – 18th birthday parties – vodkas and a sweet concentrated orange juice was her drink As she says she went straight for the hard stuff but of course had to add sweetened orange juice to make it palatable just as I did with my whisky and coke As a trainee nurse Claire would drink when she went out but would never drink alone and it was not problematic in those days In her early 20’s Claire moved from the UK to SA and was struck by the drinking culture – wine at lunchtime and in fact she celebrated her first birthday in SA with a champagne breakfasts! She embraced this culture and thought it was great! The first time she began to worry about her drinking was in her late 20’s when she came home from a very boozy lunch and found herself wanting to have another glass of wine That became a habit for Claire – going out for drinks and then carrying on the party alone when she got home She realised that like so many of us she didn’t have an “off” button –that’s definitely a red flag… as is drinking alone Other warning signs are – regularly drinking more than the low risk limits which are just one and a half bottles of wine a week, trying (and failing) to cut down, again and again - …..also when all your social activities revolve around alcohol etc  I asked Claire if she tried to cut down or set rules for her drinking – she explained that she wanted someone else to set rules for her – she was actually looking for a reason to stop drinking She thought she’d found one when she relocated to China as she wasn’t expecting alcohol to be so readily available and she remembered welcoming that situation However she found that alcohol was available and in fact she drank a lot during her 3 years there She found herself engineering situations where she could drink and as she said the subject took up “a lot of her bandwidth” People often ask me if they are drinking too much – I explain that if they are thinking about it, even if it’s a niggling thought at the back of their mind…. Then that’s probably a sign that they should take action, even if they are not drinking huge amounts Quite simply if it’s on your mind.. you’ll be happier without it! Those of us who’ve spent years trying and failing to moderate know only too well that it takes up far too much mental space – and when we get sober we can find peace Claire tried the odd alcohol free challenge but found the thought of quitting drinking for ever extremely scary She began to feel that there were 2 Claires – the sensible one and the other one who was egging her on to drink more Many of us experience this inner struggle between our rational conscious mind and our subconscious which is holding limiting beliefs about alcohol Limiting beliefs like “we can’t have fun, relax or socialize” without it Beliefs which are the result of decades of exposure to marketing and peer pressure convincing us that alcohol is essential to a happy life! Claire and I both drank for decades and agreed that our neural pathways for drinking were more like Superhighways than pathways! When we start to build our alcohol free life we are looking to replace that Superhighway with an alcohol free pathway which will in turn become a Superhighway if we stick at our sobriety and continue to do that work Claire came up with a lovely analogy that her sobriety was like a garden…and just like a garden is never finished and it takes work – just like her sobriety If someone asks her advice about a family member who might be drinking too much she’s not afraid to point out red flags I so agree wit

My guest this week is narrative therapist Tessa Freeman. Narrative Therapy is very much in line with our approach at Tribe Sober - because it’s about separating a person from their problem It’s about ditching the guilt and shame along with the alcohol I’s about enabling people to realise that they should not label themselves or see themselves as broken or the problem or powerless Tessa and I have both had a lot of experience of working with groups and agreed that the magic of community is that we can gradually replace our addiction with connection. In this episode When Tessa lost her father she needed support so had some narrative therapy This piqued her interest to such an extent that she decided to train as a narrative therapist herself She is now a Narrative Therapist specializing in addiction Tessa explained that (a bit like coaching) narrative therapy is based on the fact that the client is the expert and the therapist walks alongside them (rather than in front of them) When working with alcohol dependent clients Tessa will always separate the problem from the person which will reduce any feelings of shame We agreed that addiction can be very isolating but once we join a group we realise that we are not the only one and we feel so much better – eventually connection with the group begins to take the place of the addiction At Tribe Sober we encourage our members to write a “Goodbye to Alcohol Letter” and you can see some examples on tribesober.com under the podcasts, blogs and more menu Tessa also uses an analogy explaining that if two women who had been in an abusive relationship with the same man were to meet – they would have an instant bond and realise the damage that relationship had caused. That makes me think of that beautiful quote by CS Lewis “friendship is born in the moment when one person says to another “you too? – I thought I was the only one” When I first started working in this field 7 years ago I was amazed by the bond I could see developing so quickly between our members – complete strangers from all over the world but their common experience enables them to be vulnerable and open with each other We talked about the shares that take place at the beginning of each of our Tribe Sober workshops – when each participant will share just how unhappy alcohol has been making them – these shares demonstrate the power of story telling…. Story telling is of course the foundation of narrative therapy and Tessa explained that we make sense of our lives by the stories we tell ourselves…. And when we share our stories we are bearing our souls and showing who we really are….and also demonstrating the power of vulnerability We talked about the many false narratives in the public domain and Tessa gave us the example of her friend explaining that if Tessa wanted to have children she would have to have to start drinking because – as her friend put it:-"It takes a vineyard to raise a child" These kind of stories are so common that eventually we internalize them and look for confirmation bias to convince ourselves they are true This way they become limiting beliefs Which are shared by our friends and that’s how a global trend like “mommyjuice” is born I asked Tessa to explain how she would use narrative therapy to overturn this belief that her friend was holding The belief that it takes a vineyard to raise a child Her approach would be to deconstruct the belief ie to stay curious about it and to challenge it Tessa would take her friend back to a time before she drank when she didn’t hold this belief She would ask her to think about who she is without alcohol Tessa would help her friend to externalize her story by searching for good stories – a period in her friend's life when alcohol was not present She would also remind her that in fact she parents for most of the day without alcohol and she would help her to explore alternative ways of reducing the stress and then to co-author a new belief which would alter her fr

My guest this week is Faye Lawrence who is the founder of Australia's largest alcohol-free community for the sober and the sober curious. Their focus is not so much on the “not drinking” bit but more on the socialising without alcohol bit – which is a real struggle for most people after they quit. They do dinners, bush walks, sober singles nights, live music and ever roller discos.  It sounds like a way to find your vibe as a newly sober person. Another reason I wanted to talk to Faye was because Research is now showing that there are definite links between Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)  Faye was recently diagnosed with ADHD and was keen to talk about it In this episode:- Faye Explained that she’d been in therapy for years but it wasn’t until she stopped drinking that the healing began She calls sobriety a "portal for growth" - at Tribe Sober we often call it a "springboard for self development" The combination of alcoholism on both sides of her family and the influence of the boozy Uk culture resulted in Faye beginning to drink at 13 She loved partying and found it enabled her to switch off her overactive brain She began working in London which of course meant joining the Work Hard/Play Hard culture Fay had kids quite young and then relocated to Australia Her drinking calmed down a bit after she had children but then ramped up again when she separated from her husband She felt isolated as had no family in Oz and hadn’t yet established a friend network With 2 young children and a full time job she was struggling to cope Her kids alternated between Fay and her ex for weekends and when her kids were away Faye just wanted to get obliterated for the entire time For the next 20 years Fay was stuck in the moderation trap – that dreaded cycle that so many of us know The cycle of trying (and failing) to cut down Now and again when she had overdone it she would go to alcohol counselling or an AA meeting or to her GP for naltroxene but her denial was strong and of course she didn’t WANT to give up Such a crucial point Faye made there – its no good trying to quit drinking because we think we should or because our partner or doctor has told us to – we have to WANT to quit and realise that we will be so much happier and healthier without it She describes herself as a functioning alcoholic – keeping the career and family going and ticking all the boxes But going to work with terrible hangovers multiple times a week In 2017 her relationship broke down and the kids left home – she was an empty nester and home alone That’s when she hit her rock bottom That’s when she realized she was no longer in control She didn’t care whether she lived or died She didn’t even want to drink and she realized the alcohol was no longer doing what she needed it to It wasn’t enjoyable, or quelling her anxiety or giving her a break from her overactive mind This made me think of the saying that “sobriety delivers everything that alcohol promised!” In spite of her rock bottom she still couldn’t stop drinking Faye’s trigger for change was a trip to her therapist who told her that she looked terrible and had to get some help She got admitted to hospital for a detox Faye pointed out that people will be listening to her story and thinking “well I’m not that bad” – she used to think like that but now she realizes that it’s a slippery slope If you’re on the slippery slope please be smart and step off it as soon as possible – go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe right now We both love the modern recovery movement and the fact that nobody has to walk into a room full of strangers and say “I am an alcoholic” these days There are so many different paths to sobriety these days which mean that nobody has to wait until they hit rock bottom We both relish the mental peace that sobriety brings – no more endless negotiating with ourselves about whether to drink or not! After her detox Faye threw the book at her so

My guest this week is Homeopath Sarah Davison who is a natural menopause expert.  She helps women with stress and all aspects of menopause so was able to explain why the menopause and alcohol don’t mix! In this episode:- Sarah was enjoying her corporate career until everything went pear shaped in her 40’s The combination of family and work pressure mixed in with hormonal changes knocked her for six. She felt completely stressed out and anxious – and so weak she could hardly climb the stairs Sarah hadn’t even heard of the word at the time but now she knows she was in perimenopause The silver lining of this perfect storm was that it made her question her life She’d been going to a homeopath for years so went to see her to get some help. The results were so amazing that she decided to leave her job and go back to college to study. She did a 3 year full time degree course in homeopathic medicine Sarah explained that homeopathy is a complete system of medicine in its own right – used by 450M people globally. Natural and non toxic with no side effects it can be used to treat physical, mental and emotional illnesses. It stimulates and reactivates our self-healing mechanism and our bodies will choose the wisest way to do the healing Quite simply homeopathy allows our amazing bodies to heal themselves  There is plenty of evidence showing the efficacy of homeopathy Sarah explained that Menopause is only ONE DAY – one year after the last period 10 to 14 years before that day is Perimenopause and after that day we become post Menopausal  Many women in their forties suffer from anxiety, depression insomnia and take medication for it – not knowing that it’s the Perimenopause The average age of the Menopause is 51 I loved Sarah’s take on the 3 ages of women and will be stealing that one from her! Women evolve from maidens to mother to crone but I share Sarah’s view that a crone gives the impression of an old and bent woman and that is not what mid life women look like! So lets reframe if from maiden to mother to QUEEN – the Queen stage can be from 40 to 80 That’s when many women come into their power – we see it in our Tribe Sober Community all the time – women ditching the booze and then discovering what they really want to do with their lives To join a community of Queens then join Tribe Sober via this link! I found it fascinating to learn that Estrogen makes us compliant which may explain why so many women who drink are people pleasers Exhausted from looking after everyone else they start using alcohol as a form of self care and a reward! The problem with that strategy is that by the time we become post menopausal and our Estrogen levels drop we may have become dependent on alcohol We may be drinking wine on a daily basis which will be sapping our energy and motivation to try new activities and step into our power Sarah pointed out that drinkers are often very sensitive people who use alcohol as an emotional anaesthetic, especially if they have some unresolved issues If you are prone to hot flushes be aware that alcohol will congest your liver and make them worse- if you want to have the “best” menopause that you can then don’t drink I asked Sarah how we could heal our liver and gut after years of drinking She pointed out the our liver works as a dustbin and eliminating the toxin alcohol will overload it. What I didn’t know was that the liver also de-activates hormones – old hormones – so if it can’t deactivate estrogen we end up with too much estrogen floating around which causes an imbalance. The evidence between alcohol and breast cancer is stacking up and estrogen driven breast cancer is quite common these days I had that type of breast cancer and am sure that my heavy drinking was partly responsible Sarah pointed out that bitter foods are great for the liver – particularly beetroot and leafy green veg so lets keep drinking our green juices! She also reminded us that a healthy gut is very important for menopause and that w

My guest this week is Tribe member Brad who has struggled with his weight and his drinking.  I love his story about how he heard about Tribe Sober when he was in the chemist picking up his meds! In this episode:- Brad's drinking story is tied up with his weight loss story and as we heard from the recent podcast with Adam Sheauble there is a crossover between the two addictions and how we deal with them Brad had picked up a lot of weight in his 20’s and his psychologist and nutritionist both made a case for him to get a gastric bypass paid for by his medical aid He lost the weight and was warned to be careful with alcohol as the food addiction could transfer to alcoholism. Last week I interviewed Dr Vera Tarman who is an eating disorder specialist who tells us more about bariatric surgery and alcohol Brad knew he was drinking too much so he took a year off and felt great – he even managed to have couple of drinks on special occasions during that year but didn’t go back to drinking regularly At the end of that year Brad had a drink and basically he never stopped He’d finished his MBA and felt there was a vacuum where his studies had been – a gap to be filled.. Contributing to this was the fact that he had left his corporate job after 18 years as he was trying to start his own business So he started to fill this vacuum with booze We have to be so careful not to leave a void when we quit drinking – we need to keep super busy at first so that there’s not much time to sit and think about drinking…. Then when we do start to make progress with our sobriety we need to find a hobby or interest to keep us engaged and keep our happy brain chemicals firing For more on this listen to my interview with Dr Loretta Breuning – episode 55 So back to Brad who was filling the gap in his life with booze – which really got hold of him this time He did try AA – 15 different groups and 40 meetings but he just ended up convinced that he wasn’t an alcoholic as he wasn’t as bad as the other guys By the end of 2019 his partner had had enough and they broke up. This led to him living in a tiny apartment without much furniture or any appliances and that’s when his drinking was at its worst He was drinking spirits as well as litres of wine In the midst of that he met his current partner and they both decided to stop drinking. He managed a few months but succumbed to a bottle of whisky when house sitting for a friend Brad started to drink in secret after that, his partner didn’t know about it He tried the Sinclair method using Naltroxene but although Naltroxene blocks the buzz we get from alcohol Brad just drank more until he did get a buzz February 2022 brought a couple of aha moments – his partners mom explained that her husband had thought he could outsmart the booze but he didn’t manage to do it The second aha moment was when a psychiatrist refused to give him meds while he was drinking heavily Said it would be like throwing a cup of tea on a forest fire! He went back to the doctor who had put him on naltroxene and said he was going to completely quit rather than cut down and got some Antibuse which he took for 3 months… and it worked! During the next 3-6 months Brad weaned himself off all of his medications He focused on his work, his relationship, his health and he got a puppy….Benji Benji is ageing alongside Brads sobriety so he gets called the sober doggy – a great idea I think! Brad had a plan to have a drink on his first Soberversary but after about 7 months he realized that was not a way to celebrate We agreed that alcohol gets far too much credit for the good times! A lady he met in the chemist while he was getting his Antibuse recommended Tribe Sober to him He loves being part of our Tribe and feels that the community chat keeps him forwarned about the pitfalls he could face Brad is a great asset to our Tribe as he always had great advice to give to people who are new or are struggling His advice to newbies is to track their drinking

My guest this week is Dr Vera Tarman who is a specialist in addiction behaviour and treatment. Dr. Vera is internationally recognized for her education in and publications on various areas of addiction and more specifically food addiction. She’s had her own issues with alcohol but when she stopped drinking she started eating until her weight rose to 250lbs..   it was the eating addiction that “brought her down” as she puts it… In this episode:- Vera had a difficult childhood. Her mother was an alcoholic who died when Vera was just 15..and her relationship with her father was not good so she left home at 17 She was “floored” by the speed of her mother’s decline and vowed that she would never drink However she did take drugs – she mentioned LSD and pot but also stresses that this was back in the 70’s when drugs were not as toxic as they are today By the age of 19 she had switched from drugs to alcohol in spite of the vow she had made Within a couple of years the alcohol had taken hold and she would always drink to get solidly drunk She stopped drinking to get through college but when she stopped drinking..she started eating – and it was the food that “brought her down” as she puts it Her eating had nothing to do with enjoyment – she was making herself numb, eating and purging..- she described it as “frantic” and with hindsight can see that her addiction to alcohol had simply transferred to her eating habits… there is so much sugar in alcohol of course Dr Vera describes alcohol as sugar on steroids! In her 20’s she was stuck in the dieting yo yo – losing the weight and then gaining it back - eventually gaining 100 pounds – she was bulimic She reintroduced alcohol to her diet and tried to control it – as she says back then she had no idea of the peace of mind she could gain by ditching it altogether. Steadily her weight increased to 240 lbs – she kept losing weight and regaining it and it wasn’t until her late 40’s that she had a breakthrough…. That was when she accepted that treat sugar was an addiction – she couldn’t have a little now and again, she would have to quit completely.. Over the course of the next few years she went on to lose 60 or 70 lbs After the sugar she quit flour (bread muffins pizza etc) and lost another 80 lbs and finally she quit grains and lost the rest of her excess weight – never gaining it back She describes losing the weight as a great relief as it had been making her miserable in so many ways and she never felt healthy or well In fact these days she stresses that addicts mustn’t fear living a life of deprivation … you are living a life of deprivation now …so reach out and get help and find freedom We talked about the fact that with alcoholism we can quit alcohol completely but obviously we have to eat some food – Vera made the very interesting point that she hasn’t quit food but she does quit food products – processed food Vera’s approach of gradually shutting out various food groups is an interesting one – when I asked her what she DID eat she listed some of them – yoghourt, cheese, salmon, meat, vegetables She spoke of her pleasure in eating these foods and doesn’t feel at all deprived…as she put it she doesn’t have to eat bread or sugar any more, she can enjoy real food instead – her palate has switched from craving sugar and carbs to appreciating healthy foods Vera is not a cook but stresses that its quite easy to eat well – as an example yoghourt is easy to make and so are roasted veg I explained that we give our community advice to eat fresh fruit rather than candy if they are craving sweet things in early sobriety If you’d like more info on the science behind this advice then listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 31 from January 2021 to hear nutritionist Mary Ann Shearer Vera described addiction as “a craving which leads to an obsession that then becomes difficult or impossible to stop” We should ask ourselves “Am I obsessed with something that is affecting my life negatively?” She e

This weeks podcast is a solo episode from Tribe Sober's founder Janet Gourand.  We've launched a brand new program to help people who a ready to Break Free from the Booze   In this episode Are you fed up of being trapped in the Groundhog Day of Daily Drinking? Many of us drink socially in our 20's and 30's and then it becomes problematic in our 40's and 50's 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years.... it's the science  We looked at some warning signs of alcohol dependence:-Not being able to keep within the low risk limits - a bottle and a half of wine a weekDrinking alone or Drinking and DrivingBlackouts!Waking up at 3am feeling anxiousDrinking more to get the same effectWhen all social activities involve alcoholYou drink for the buzzYou've tried (and failed) to drink less many many times We get to the stage where we know we are drinking too much but have no idea HOW to stop We feel trapped and we know we have to break free We've designed a program to help you break free from the booze.. Sobriety will give you a new lease of life, improve your physical and mental health, less anxiety, better relationships, better sleep, better skin and sparkly eyes, weightloss, personal growth and finding your purpose BREAKING FREE PROGRAM  I've collated all the contacts, resources and learnings from 7+ years of running Tribe Sober into one package It's a world class program which is exactly what I needed when I quit drinking After seeing so many people change their lives over the years we've realised that Tribe Sober is so much more than a membership, or a challenge, or a course or a coaching program - it's a place of transformation So we're inviting you into our place of transformation Breaking Free is for you if you are ready to put yourself first and invest money, time and attention Breaking Free is not for you if you are not ready to put yourself first....or maybe you're just not ready Are you going to take the Sober Road.... or stay stuck in Drinking Alley - check out this article. "Faith is taking the first step on the staircase even if you're not sure where it's going" - Martin Luther King Have faith in us to guide you up that staircase as we know the destination is well worth the effort The "staircase" is a hybrid recovery model, taking the best elements from the Tribe Sober offerings and combining them to create a powerful and effective program - let me describe the components COMPONENT ONE - community support with the Tribe Sober community  COMPONENT TWO - a four hour group workshop on Zoom  COMPONENT THREE - Kickstart online course COMPONENT FOUR - personal support - 2 Zoom calls with Janet and 3 coaching sessions with  For more information just go to this link.   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you

My guest this week is an extraordinary woman – she was drinking alcohol at the age of 12 and shooting up with meths at the age of 17.  Not only did she get clean but she went on to qualify as a lawyer and eventually she was appointed a federal judge!In this episode:- Mary Beth has a traumatic childhood which included an abusive stepfather She felt instant relief when she picked up her first alcoholic drink at the age of 12 While still at school she was smoking pot, taking pills and acid and by 17 was shooting up meths In spite of this hectic drug use she managed to get accepted at college She was at college and working part time when everything fell apart – due to the combination of a life threatening rape and an abusive boyfriend Mary Beth used meths for the next decade, not getting clean until the age of 32 During this decade she was working her way “down” the corporate ladder as she puts it Due to her drug use she was working in jobs way below her ability She hit rock bottom when she lost yet another job and couldn’t raise the energy to put together her resume to get another one Her partying days were long gone and most of her drug use took place when she was alone….at the kitchen table She had tried some therapy but as she puts it “the drugs had put a wall between me and myself” so therapy was ineffective. Her partner was also threatening to leave her so she decided to go to rehab The rehab was based on the 12 steps and was not a good fit for Mary Beth – she was an atheist and certainly wouldn’t agree that she was powerless Whenever she raised her objections to any of the 12 steps she was closed down and told that this was the only way she could recover As a result she kept quiet and became very selective in the ideas that she took on board. She became master of the reframe so instead of Step One which is I am powerless over my addiction she would agree that she was powerless to moderate. So many of us spend years stuck in the “moderation trap” so accepting that we are powerless to moderate will save a lot of heartache, it’s a major step forward!I referred to the podcast interview I did with British journalist Sam Delaney who built his own hybrid recovery model. That podcast was episode 153  Exactly what Mary Beth did…and in fact what she recommends to others I loved what she said about recovery being hard but it gets easier… whereas active addiction is much harder and can last forever! We agreed that this journey is about progress not perfection and that very few people get is right from day one – Mary Beth certainly had a couple of slip ups during the early months Of course the secret is to keep trying, to remember that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. Mark up your Sober Stretches and never question the decision. If you’d like a copy of our Annual Tracker just email membership@tribesober.com and we’ll send you one Early sobriety was an emotional rollercoaster for Mary Beth and it was a couple of years before she felt stable She had trauma to deal with, severe anxiety and PTSD If 2 years seems a long time then remember the rule that it takes a month of recovery for every year that we drank – for more on that go Tribe Sober episode 61 – there you’ll find my interview with rehab doctor Dr Dawn In spite of the long road to recovery Mary Beth began to get her career back on track within a few months She started with a part time admin job, then a higher level full time admin role and then a supervisory role  At six and a half years sober she was accepted back into Berkeley Law School. She went on to work as a lawyer in a big law firm and in 2014 was appointed a Judge. She took early retirement in 2020 and these days she gives her time to advocacy in the recovery space. As she says we need to be patient – everybody expects recovery to be faster than it is but we need to remember that:- Just as addiction rewires our brains in a negative way the positive habits we build in recovery will build new pa

I’m recording this a couple of hours after hearing the appalling news that Eusebius McKaiser has died at the ridiculously young age of 44. He was a national treasure for South Africans – an author, a journalist and broadcaster.  One of the smartest public intellects in the country he was a fierce defender of truth and justice as many politicians found out to their cost! He was also a warm and generous friend.So instead of the planned episode I wanted to say a few words about my friend Eusebius and re-release one of the podcast interviews he did for Tribe Sober. The story starts back in 2001 when I relocated from the UK to SA.  I started to watch national tv, trying to get my bearings in this beautiful and complex country.  I spotted Eusebius on a talk show and was impressed. I read a couple of his books and listened to him on the radio.  I discovered he’d been to Oxford University on a scholarship and had won a global award as a Debating Champion. I first met him in person more than a decade ago… Ironically I was drunk at the time! We were at the Franschhoek Literary Festival where I’d been drinking wine most of the day.  This didn’t stop me dragging Long Suffering Husband to the Elephant and Barrel Pub in the evening.  I spotted Eusebius in the bar.  He was with deep in conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt.   However husband knew I was a fan and he nudged me towards him – not quite sure what Eusebius thought about this drunken Brit lurching at him but he was very kind. For obvious reasons I don’t remember much about that conversation but that was the evening that our unlikely but enduring friendship was born. I finally ditched the booze in 2015 and set up Tribe Sober.  Eusebius signed up for our Dry January Challenge and one of the mailers included my Goodbye to Alcohol letter – he asked me to come to Cape Talk and read it out on his Show. So I did and we got plenty of calls from people who knew they needed to say Goodbye to Alcohol.  I’ll put a link to that radio program in the shownotes.  Apart from reading my letter we raised more than R10,000 for Earthchild within 30 minutes.  Just like me he loved the work done by NGO Earthchild and for the last 8 years he helped me to fundraise more than R300,000  which enabled more than 1000 underprivileged children to get a year of yoga and lifeskill classes.  I then became a regular on his show and many of our current and past members found us via Eusebius.  He loved the work we did at Tribe Sober and often promoted us on his social media. He came to two of our workshops in Joburg.  The first one as a participant and the second one as my co-facilitator.  We looked out for each other - he coached me to be a better speaker on the radio and I convinced him to start his own podcast when he left Cape Talk.  Have a listen to this episode we recorded about 18 months ago In this Episode The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober. Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that. When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer. Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15% We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day! Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing and peer pressure t

I got hooked on podcasting quite early on as I’ve been lucky enough to have some great guests and I’ve learned so much from them.  Many of our members have been kind enough to inspire others by sharing their stories on the podcast and as a result we’ve attracted new members from all over the world. So staying with podcasting my guest this week is Podcast Business Coach and Weight Loss Guru - Adam Schaeuble. His story is similar to mine in that he resolved his own issues and then went on to help others to do the same.  Adams problems were about food rather than alcohol so have a listen to his story.  In this Episode Adam shared his personal transformation story with us We agreed that many of the methods he uses to help his community can be used in the Tribe Sober community The first step - asking for help - is the hardest - we have to put our ego to one side and reach out Adam uses a strategic approach with his clients - gets them to plan 28 days in advance and look for "danger zones" We discussed the importance of not letting a "slip up" derail you - just get back on track straight away Anchor points are essential - they give you a dopamine hit to keep going forward - at TS we have milestone badges! Adam explained the difference between motivation and inspiration - we need to be inspired if we are going to succeed If you don't feel inspired then get some coaching - if  you come to the coaching session "motivated" you will leave "inspired" He shared his transformation timeline with us - and stressed the importance of finding a new purpose at the end of the journey That’s exactly what our amazing coach Lynette has been doing with 10 of our Tribe members – guiding them along the Path to Purpose via her group coaching program. We’ve taken some of Adam’s great ideas and created a Sobriety Battleplan so if you’d like a copy just email membership@tribesober.com and Sue will send you one. More Info   Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com. to join our mailing list click HERE    Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

This is a solo episode to celebrate my 8th Soberversary - I'm focussing on 8 mistakes to avoid  Mistakes I made myself and larned from. In this episode:- Mistake number 1 - Waiting for Rock Bottom  TIP NUMBER ONE:  Do it now!  If you’re listening to this then the chances are that you are either already alcohol free (well done you!) or you are contemplating making a change.  If you are in the contemplation phase then you should know that the average time people spend in that place is an incredible 11 years!  Alcohol dependence is like an elevator and it’s only going down.  The longer you leave it the worse it will get so Do it Now! Mistake number 2 - Trying to Moderate TIP NUMBER TWO – Forget Moderation! People who can moderate just do it naturally – they wouldn’t be listening to this podcast. They might have a glass of champagne at a wedding or a glass of red wine with a special meal but alcohol is not really on their radar.  I’m guessing that’s probably not you (!) so redirect that energy you put into controlling an addictive drug into building an alcohol free life that you love! Mistake number 3 - Fearing failure  TIP NUMBER THREE – Progress not Perfection should be your strategy.  Drop me an email janet@tribesober.com and ask for one of our trackers and log those alcohol free days.  If you have a slip up then learn from it and get right back on track.  Remember that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.  You’ve only failed if you stop trying!  Mistake number 4 - Worrying about other people TIP NUMBER FOUR - Find a new Tribe In our alcohol drenched society it can be hard to be the odd one out, especially if you are an introvert as many problem drinkers tend to be.  So for the first few months at least join a new tribe – a sober community of people just like you.  You will be blown away by the warmth, vulnerability you will find.  Read some quitlit and listen to recovery stories on podcasts as well.  Mistake number 5 - Being influenced by marketing, movies etc.. TIP NUMBER FIVE  Reflect on the limiting beliefs you hold about alcohol.  Examples of limiting beliefs are… I need alcohol to have fun, to socialise, to relax, to de-stress, to reward myself for a difficult day, to celebrate a good day…the list goes on.  Work on overturning those limiting beliefs and see alcohol for what it really is – a poison which is linked to 7 cancers and 60+ diseases.  Read Annie Grace’s book This Naked Mind for more on this or come to one of our workshops. Mistake number 6 - Waiting for happiness to strike.. TIP NUMBER SIX Be aware that your brain is still recalibrating and healing as your natural dopamine receptors crank up again (they’ve got lazy as the wine has been doing their job for so long!)  When you quit drinking you can’t just leave everything the same except for the drinking -  you’ll need to reconfigure your life/routine and get new interests Recovery is about so much more than “not drinking” - that’s just the start…  After guiding hundreds of our members through this journey we’ve noticed that it takes about 6 months to change the habit and then another 6 months to “do the work”, and learn how to thrive in sobriety.  Most importantly get a new interest/hobby to keep your happy brain chemicals triggers – go to meetup.com to see the many interests that people have…and go to udemy.com to find a course to sign up for. Mistake number 7 - Being depressed about quitting – TIP NUMBER 7 Get excited about this life changing opportunity.  You are going to look better, feel better, sleep better and be full of energy.  Just take a look at some of the testimonials on our website if you’re not convinced! Realise that you’ll be gaining so much more than you will lose! Realise that addiction is a gift - as Laura K says in her book title we really are the luckiest - only people who have become dependent are pushed right to the wall and forced to question who they really are and what they really want out of life Quitting is an

Vanessa is a writer, photographer and wild water swimmer.   Like so many of us she began drinking in her teens.  That was the beginning of a habit that started off as fun but evolved into something much darker over the years. In this episode Vanessa divides her drinking career into phases:-the Fun phase (15-19)the Social phase (19-30)the Fairly Desperate phase (30-39) the I Need to Quit phase (39 onwards) This pattern fits pretty well with the theory that 20 years of regular drinking will result in alcohol dependence If you’d like to hear the science behind that theory then have a listen to my interview with Ken Middleton – episode 23 of Tribe Sober podcast – November 2020 Vanessa tried to moderate and did manage to cut down for periods. However she was still binge drinking now and again so the dependence was still there. Along with her moderation attempts of course she had some rules She started a rule when she was at University and kept it going ever since. It was the 3 day rule.  She would never drink more than 3 days in a row. However she realises now that her 3 day rule actually kept her in a cycle of drinking and then withdrawal. Here in South Africa there is a culture of binge drinking at the weekend Vanessa explained that in her office they used to refer to Thursdays as "Steak Knife Thursdays" as everyone was “on edge” waiting to start drinking. It was Covid that opened Vanessa’s eyes to the nation's love affair with alcohol. Several alcohol bans meant that many people had to be creative about sourcing their alcohol. She describes the moment during Covid when she had just a tot of whisky but it released such a strong craving that it made her realise she would have to make a change. Vanessa discovered Tribe Sober and loved the support of the international community. She did Dry July and loved watching the alcohol free days stack up on her tracker. As she learned more about the harm that alcohol does she felt more and more motivated to go alcohol free. So she did Sober October but still had periods of binge drinking. At the beginning of 2021 Vanessa decided to try coaching – as a member of Tribe Sober she had been offered a free coaching session so decided to take it up. She loved her coaching sessions with Lynette and by session 2 she had ditched the booze completely We agreed that Lynette’s philosophy that we must get “comfortable with being uncomfortable” is a powerful one By riding the discomfort and pushing through we will experience emotional growth and grow new neural pathways One of the goals that Vanessa set during an early coaching session was that when she reached her first Soberversary she would share the strategies that had enabled her to quit. That’s how her stunning book was born…TOTS which stands for the Other Twelve Steps It is full of gorgeous illustrations which came from the doodles she would make during her coaching sessions – doodles she would develop further as she reflected on her learnings She calls TOTS a string of sparkling gems and I couldn’t agree more If you’d like a digital copy of TOTs just email membership@tribesober.com and we’ll send you a copy In TOT’s you will find a description of the Hero’s journey along with its transformative challenges Just like the hero we may stumble and fall on our journey but if we keep trying we will succeed Our reward will be the gift of elixirs which will enable us to help others to do what we’ve done Vanessa also refers to the book "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron in TOTs We agreed that this book can be the key to unlocking our creativity and doing our daily morning pages can be a life changing habit Vanessa described the benefits of alcohol free living as exponential but a huge one for her has been the energy Now she no longer has to try to control her drinking and manage the after effects she has so much more energy and mental strength This made me think of my interview with William Krause two episodes ago… when he said that redirecting th

My guest this week is Lily Shanks from Dallas. Lily describes herself as a recovering attorney. After graduating from a top tier-law school, Lily practiced commercial litigation in a Big Law firm but although she was able to indulge her passion for expensive cars and shoes the stress resulted in a daily wine habit. She got sober and left her corporate job to train as a coach. These days Lily specializes in recovery and relationship coaching and coaches her clients to create their best, most fulfilling lives, starting from the inside. In this episode Lily discovered alcohol at a young age – via the liquor cabinet of one of her friends parents.  It tasted disgusting but she knew it would change the way she felt…so she persevered and found ways to disguise the taste As a shy teenager who wanted to be popular she found that alcohol gave her the liquid courage she needed She was the only child of older parents she felt she had to be perfect… to do everything right.. Lily also felt she had to be independent and not ask for help These two beliefs led to a feeling of loneliness – a feeling that continued as she grew older The loneliness was a feeling that would last until she got into recovery and learnt how better to connect with people – when she learned that connection was the opposite of addiction As a straight A student Lily would worry about the possibility of getting a B Her drive for perfectionism helped her to graduate, get through law school and get a highly paid job at a top firm However she was always chasing the next thing, the next box to be ticked – buying a new car and more shoes even though she didn’t need either – she thought it would make her feel better which it did but only for a very short time She was doing the same with alcohol – drinking more and more in the hope that it would make her feel better but of course as it’s a depressant it only made her feel worse. Like many of us Lily was under the illusion that alcohol was glamorous and fun and cool..until one day it wasn’t. As early as 5 years into her legal career Lily started to sense a misalignment.. she wasn’t feeling fulfilled in her job and thought that the alcohol was helping to ease this uncomfortable feeling She took a years sabbatical and got her yoga teaching qualification and taught full time which she really enjoyed Yoga had helped her cope with her stress and she loved the fact that she was able to share that with her students Eventually Lily felt under financial strain so she returned to practicing law – (yet her finances always ran to buying wine!) She was using wine at the end of the day to self medicate her stress and eventually she could feel it affecting her work performance – some days she struggled to get to work as she was battling a severe hangover Like many of us Lily became an expert in disguising her drinking problem – so much so that former colleagues and friends were surprised to hear she’s in recovery Like many of us she did a lot of her drinking alone on the sofa at home In Jan 2018 she tried to take a break for Dry January but couldn’t notch up more than a few alcohol free days…and she always intended to go back to drinking at the end of the month Doing a challenge like Dry January is when a lot of people realise for the first time that they are dependent When you join Tribe Sober the first thing we do is put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so that we can help you to assess your level of dependence and what kind of help you need Short challenges are great to test your dependence but the true benefits of sobriety don’t come in until you’ve been alcohol free for a few months so it’s important to push through and keep going Like most of us Lily imposed some rules around her drinking as she tried to moderate – yet of course after 2 or 3 drinks there was no off switch She finally ended her drinking career in 2018 – finishing it with a few months of intentional heavy drinking before accepting that she would have to ma

My guest this week is Will Krause who is an author, entrepreneur and academic.  He helps addicts to quit using and then to go on and lead the life they were meant to live – he gives them hope As you will hear he is passionate about analysing why people do what they do as he believes this is the key to change. Will also believes that we can actually use this key to unlock the life of our dream  In this Episode Will had an early tragic experience of addiction when his younger brother died He was depressed and frustrated as he had no idea how he could have helped his brother On reflection Will decided that he was an addict himself – not to a substance but to perfectionism Will did many courses but one day one of his professors came to him and explained that it was time he switched his focus from facts…to finding out WHY people did what they did This advice along will his brother’s death was the catalyst to him studying addiction and discovering what addiction really is… and that it’s actually NOT what we’ve been taught it is! He talked to us about the many homeless addicts in Seattle and points out that they all have exceptional skills that we cannot even comprehend – skills to survive and to score their drugs Most of us would not last more than a couple of days if we had to live that kind of life We talked about functioning alcoholics and how skilled we are at keeping the show on the road – holding down the high powered job and managing a family Whether it’s a homeless addict or a functioning alcoholic they can both redirect their skills and energy to leading a life that will give them purpose As Will explains we need to give people HOPE – hope that there is a way out We discussed the disease model which neither of us subscribe to Yes alcohol consumption does change the brain but according to neuroscience our brains are meant to change! Falling in love changes our brain as well! The brain has simply learned a habit – a habit that can be replaced by a healthy habit Will compared this with Alzheimers which IS a disease and takes away parts of the brain… Cancer is also a disease… where cancerous cells take over and cause tumours Will describes addiction as a “learned coping mechanism” When we unlearn it and stop drinking we’ll go through a difficult period as we replace the harmful habit with new and healthy ones In our experience here at Tribe Sober most people take between 3 and 6 months to get through this transition We agreed on the importance of having a tribe even when we no longer drink… if we leave we can easily fall prey to our previous thought patterns and start wondering if we are able to have "just one drink now" Spoiler alert – we probably can’t! We do get quite a few returning members to our Tribe, people who’ve discovered that without the connection they flounder.. Will talked about the importance of knowing WHY we do what we do He helps addicts to understand Why they do what they do and also that they have an exceptional brain Addicts are able to see the world differently When addicts understand this, and realise that they can use their skills to turn their life around they begin to feel HOPE Will feels that those of us who have struggled with dependency are the lucky ones – we can get through the pain of our addiction and find our purpose on the other side Once we understand why we do what we do we can go on to discover our purpose If we just stop drinking without understanding WHY we drank we won’t be able to find our purpose and we may go from one addiction to the other As we often say at Tribe Sober there is so much more to recovery than “not drinking” – we have to create an alcohol free life that we love, a life full of joy and purpose – a life we don’t want to escape from! Will has a book coming out called “Unlearning Addiction” The premise of his book is that addiction is a learned behaviour that we can unlearn – we can replace it with healthy habits which will lead to us discover our purpose The

My guest this week is Ashleigh who came to a workshop way back in 2018 and has been thriving in her sobriety ever since In this episode:- Ashleigh's first scrape with alcohol came when she was expelled from school at the age of 15! In her 30's she recognized that there could be a problem when she found herself making lots of rules around her drinking - rules that she promptly broke! Her point that she wasn’t a tramp living under a bridge highlighted the fact that society says we are fine until we get to that stage – her family weren’t quite sure why she going alcohol free  Ashleigh decided to step off the slippery slope before things got any worse She realises that the majority of the people she knows are drinking too much but they don’t even realise At the workshop Ashleigh learned about the toxicity of alcohol and began to join the dots between her constant tiredness and her daily glasses of wine At the end of the workshop she knew it would be pointless committing to "moderation" - she had to go "all in" - she knew she had crossed the line with her drinking and there was no looking back She felt confident leaving the workshop - she had her toolkit, some new information and people to connect with - she felt she could do this At the beginning she treated herself to hot chocolate, coffee and cake etc. - but as time went on she weaned herself off the sweet things - and has now lost 10kgs! She talked about the importance of Sober Firsts – the first wedding, the first flight, baby shower and of course the first time we try sober dancing! Ashleigh has experienced many benefits of sobriety - she is certainly less anxious and more confident these days So the workshop was a real turning point for Ashleigh - at the age of 43 she has celebrated five years of sobriety and has a completely different future ahead! Now that she is more knowledgeable she realises that the majority of the people she knows are drinking too much although they don’t even realise She talks about all the euphemisms we use for hangovers and how no one wants to "let the cat out of the bag" as she puts it No-one wants to acknowledge that as a society we have an alcohol problem Ashleigh fully recognizes that if she hadn't taken this step she could have been in a very different place in 5 years time - alcohol is a very "slippery fish" as she said! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com. to join our mailing list click HERE    Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a revie

My guest this week is very special member of our Tribe Sober Team I first met Lynette LeRoux when she came to one of our workshops more than 5 years ago She was in a dark place back then but the workshop was the catalyst she needed to change everything Lynette has been transforming and enriching her life for the last 5 years – she’s found her passion and qualified as a Coach and for the last 3 years she has been working for Tribe Sober as a Coach In this episode Lynette first tasted alcohol at the tender age of 9 – she’d got hold of some tiny bottles of whisky and brandy which she kept near her bed.  She would take a sip when she went to bed as it comforted her Going off to boarding school at the age of 5 left her with lingering feelings of isolation – a feeling that those little sips chased away. As she reflects back she realises it was a way to feel nurtured and held She didn’t drink much in her teens but in her 20’s she met a guy who loved his whisky and she began to drink regularly Lynette had never really felt comfortable in her own skin so alcohol helped her to socialise Her relationship deteriorated due to her partners drunken rages and he left her when she was pregnant She coped well over the next few years and began to develop her career The usual after work drinks culture prevailed and Lynette fell back into her old patterns She would drink excessively at the weekends as well as after work sometimes Like many of us she would resolve to stop or cut down but nothing really changed Then she met her current husband who hardly drinks at all He thought she drank too much so she tried hard to make a change She managed some sober stretches but as she got into her 40’s the alcohol came back into her life Even though she was drinking Lynette tried a lot self development programs during this period Looking back she realises that she never tried to integrate her learnings into her daily life If we don’t apply the learnings then the courses are really a waste of time and nothing will change As she moved into her 50’s Lynette became more dependent on alcohol She felt she was losing connection with her husband and her friends Always looking for the quick fix she decided to study plant medicine As part of Lynette’s ongoing odyssey for a quick cure for her problems she came across our one day workshop She attended the workshop but true to form she never really engaged After the workshop she didn’t apply the tools or connect via the chatgroups So nothing really changed and three months after the workshop she hit her rock bottom Driving to work and struggling with an awful hangover she had a “not this” moment Followed by a “if not this then what?” moment Out of desperation she looked at her Tribe Sober workshop notes and decided to reconnect Lynette went to the coffee meetup and engaged on the WhatsApp group After reading other peoples messages for a while she decided to reach out She posted a message that she felt really low Another member explained that she felt that way because her brain was recalibrating and healing This really resonated with Lynette and became her mantra She began to study coaching and started to see that a different way of life was possible As Lynette has been coached herself and has coached many people I asked her to explain why coaching is so valuable She explained that coaching helps us to get perspective on our life and our mind Coaching enables a growth mindset as we move towards our future self We talked about the benefits she has gained from 5 years of sobriety The biggest benefit for Lynette was reconnecting with herself and then developing her passion for coaching She’s learned so much about her beautiful brain and she’s learned how to feel She’s learned that emotional pain is a sign of growth and she must learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable That's a lesson she’s taught us all here at Tribe Sober We agreed that there is so much more to recovery than “not drinking” As Lynette s

My guest this week is an incredible woman – a Queen as she calls herself and quite rightly too! Both Leah’s parents were addicts and she was actually born with crack cocaine in her system. Not many of us would even survive such a start in life but Leah not only survived she thrived.. She survived being born as a crack babyShe survived a sexual assault andShe survived alcohol dependence These days she is an Activist and Public Speaker - campaigning against sexual violence In this episode: Brought up by her maternal grandparents Leah felt different from her friends as school… As she gradually began to learn more about her mom she felt abandoned and resentful Especially as her grandma didn’t ever want to talk about her mom Leah struggled to understand her parents addictions until she began her own healing journey Then she realised that in fact her parents had done their best with the tools available to them at the time Considering her tough start in life Leah was doing ok until she got sexually assaulted By a guy she had dated once and then rejected Angry about his rejection he began to stalk her and one day he got into her apartment and raped her She felt the cops wouldn’t help her so didn’t report it at the time Leah felt angry, frustrated, guilty but had no coping skills so she turned to alcohol She’d stayed away from drugs and alcohol because of her parents but this event just pushed her over the edge As a child of addicts it was the only coping technique she knew She spent a whole year drinking heavily to numb out her feelings Eventually she did report her rape to the cops but they blamed her as it was someone she knew – that just made everything worse As she sank further into alcohol dependence a friend convinced her to go to therapy to process her feelings She also went to Al Anon to try to understand her parents better Leah managed to stop drinking and has been sober for a decade 8 years after her rape she was astonished to receive the results of her rape kit The rape kit contained the evidence collected by the police when she reported the crime Apparently the police hadn’t passed on the kit for testing as she knew her assailant In spite of the fact that 57% of rape victims know their perpetrator! This led her to do some research on the incredible backlog of rape kits in the US – hundreds of thousands of them sitting on shelves untested while the assailants walk free Leah decided to become an Activist in the fight against sexual violence These days she has a voice and is raising awareness by campaigning and public speaking Leah has written an incredible 8 books! Her latest one "Unapologetically Me" is about the internal conflict of being the daughter of addicts – and the love/hate relationship with her parents Writing is part of her healing journey Leah talked about the difference between surviving and thriving At Tribe Sober we say we want people to thrive in their sobriety, not just survive The difference between those two states is of course that:- Surviving means just staying afloat, getting by without drinking, just existing and meeting basic needs whereas Thriving in sobriety means flourishing -  experiencing positive growth and progress in various aspects of life. Leah has turned her Pain into Power which is what many of us at the Tribe have done and is why we say that Sobriety is our Superpower! Leah said something interesting about trauma… If you don’t do the work to heal you can often feel as if you are just “waiting for the other shoe to drop”  Step into a place of healing and the shoe won’t drop Leah got through the worst and is now ready for the best! You can follow this incredible woman on social media and her website is https://www.leahmforney.com/  More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our

My guest this week is Ken Middleton I first connected with Ken a couple of years ago after discovering his brilliant articles. He was first a guest on this podcast back in 2020 and we’ve been friends ever since We have a shared passion to highlight the drawbacks of drinking and the joys of sobriety. As a firm fan of his articles I was delighted to hear that he was going to publish a book. He involved me in the development of the manuscript and has even included my story! The book is called Bamboozled and is published TODAY In fact I have a message for you from Ken – he says buy the the book today (April 1st) and you’ll find an April Fools day surprise – a nice one! The book is available on Amazon so go check it out while you are listening The subtitle of Bamboozled is “How Alcohol Made Fools of Us All” and it’s a great read.  After doing this work for 7 years I know a lot about the subject but even I learned a lot from this book In this episode Unlike myself and many of my podcast guests Ken didn’t come to sobriety from a place of addiction – he came from a place of curiosity. He wanted to see how he felt without alcohol He was always a high performer in his sales job but knew that he wasn’t always operating at 100% As he settled into his sobriety his performance at work shot up by 30% He came to the conclusion that alcohol drastically reduces our potential Ken talked about the compounding effects – for example when we drink we only get two cycles of REM when we need about 7 Drinking regularly means the fatigue will build up and up over the years I can really identify with this – when I hit 60 I felt tired all the time but resigned myself to the fact that this is what aging felt like Seven years of sobriety has changed everything for me and I wake up full of energy My exhaustion was nothing to do with my age but everything to do with my alcohol consumption We talked about comparisons and how dangerous it was to compare ourselves with hard core alcoholics – so we end up feeling that we were not “that bad” Of course the comparison we should be making is with the best version of ourselves we could be So the question to ask is not Am I an Alcoholic?  -  rather askAm I living my best life? Ken explained that functioning alcoholics are the ones with the most to gain from ditching the booze They have been expending huge amounts of energy just keeping the show on the road I know I did – performing well at work, managing family and a social life is not easy when you’re feeling anxious and worried about your drinking problem that you are too ashamed to talk about Ken summarises the science of alcohol dependency in detail in an article I will put in the shownotes but here are the key moments:- Alcohol spikes our endorphins Our brain likes to stay balanced – in a state of homeostasis so releases dynorphins to dampen down those endorphin spikes The dynorphin level then outweighs the level of endorphins (as our brain wants to get back to homeostasis asap) That’s why we get that dip about 20 minutes after our first drink… our buzz starts to fade so of course we reach for another drink to compensate which results in more dynorphins released…. And so it goes on As many of us know as time goes by we need more alcohol to get the same feeling, the same buzz So far so good but our body is smart and it adapts to our behaviour and this is the dangerous bit.. Our subconscious will begin to associate everything we do leading up to the drinking as a pleasurable experience – and learn.. So when we are driving home from work we are already anticipating opening that bottle of wine so the dynorphins will be released IN ADVANCE Making us feel low and craving the alcohol And the really scary bit is that drinking consistently over time will result in us not being able to enjoy things WITHOUT IT Our brain will have rewired so it can no longer produce dopamine on its own That’s why early sobriety is so hard – our brain has not yet re-calibrated to t

My guest this week is Gregg Champion Gregg has been in recovery for over 20 years after nearly ruining his life with drugs and alcohol. These days he’s a Recovery Coach and a highly valued member of the Recovery Community in California.  7 years ago he founded Start Up Recovery which is a transitional living facility built on his own values as well as lessons learned during his own recovery. In this episode You heard Gregg say that he was an alcoholic before he picked up his first drink – that’s a very interesting statement which would apply to many drinkers with unresolved childhood trauma Greggs father was killed in a car crash when he was four which left him feeling angry and abandoned As he grew older he became addicted to anger, fantasy and attention That all changed when he took his first drink as a young teenager, a drink that soothed him and took the pain away At 15 years old he was crossing the border into Mexico to drink in bars and chat up girls – he just wanted to be a grown up Gregg chose to study at Arizona State University as it was known to be a party university Alcohol and Drugs were always present during his College years but it was normalised and as Gregg says there were always people “worse than me – doing more booze, more drugs” These comparisons are so dangerous – why do we always compare ourselves with people who are in worse trouble - when we should be comparing our ourselves to who we could be if we were leading our best life Even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us it will always prevent us from reaching our potential Gregg topped off his University years by getting his first DUI on Graduation Night… That set the tone for the following 2 years when we was arrested 7 times! He went from overnight stays in prison to 2 night stays and finally the prospect of a 5 years sentence. Gregg got a job in broadcasting which involved shift work ending at 3am which meant he was mixing with other users after work He got into a cycle of selling drugs and then over-using and over-drinking to overcome the shame of being a drug dealer! He got busted at an airport carrying drugs – the judge told him that if he saw him again he would be activating his 5 year suspended sentence. Gregg partied on regardless but got busted a second time by an undercover cop at a party Back in a jail cell he heard a voice telling him to call his mother – which he did She told him to go to church so he went, he went to confession and told the priest everything He finally realised that Greggs Way was never going to work so he listened to the priest and went to an AA meeting It was his moment of truth – the time he had to decide between two paths He chose sobriety and his AA sponsor told him to take boxing lessons – he would need a punchbag for all the anger which would emerge in early sobriety! Gregg did 90 meetings in 90 days – as he said when we stop using there is a great gaping hole in our life that we need to fill with something We can fill it with 90 meetings and follow the 12 steps or We can join a sobriety community – go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe if you’d like to check out our membership program As Gregg says we have to find our Sober Tribe He stayed sober for 3 years by using the first 3 steps but couldn’t bring himself to open the Pandoras box of step 4 One day he listened to a speaker at the AA meeting and the things he heard really resonated with him The guy had been sexually abused at a young age and Gregg was able to finally admit to himself that this had happened to him as well Gregg began to work with this person who told him that he was blocked because although he had sobriety he hadn’t got recovery It’s so true that there is so much more to recovery than not drinking! I loved the expression that Gregg used:-“Not Drinking is the ticket to the Show, the Band hasn’t even started playing yet!” So his new sponsor used a process called Uncover/Discover and Discard which you heard Gregg describing during the inte

My guest this week is a young South African woman who is focused on mental health advocacy. Tribe member Anele Ndlovu has been through a journey with her own mental health when she turned to alcohol for solace.  She’s the Founder of an initiative called “Tea with Anele Ndlovu” which focuses on women’s empowerment and leadership. Anele is a member of Tribe Sober and recently celebrated her six month soberversary! In the episode Like many of us Anele discovered alcohol when she went to Varsity but it was very much a social thing It was all under control during her 20s and early 30’s – only in her late 30s did it become a problem We heard a similar story from last weeks guest Sam Delany  That got me thinking about one of my favourite articles by Ken Middleton who explains the science behind alcohol dependence If we drink regularly then over the period of a couple of decades we will move from liking alcohol, to wanting alcohol and finally to needing alcohol. So that explains why some people can drink happily throughout their twenties and most of their thirties but then it switches from a social lubricant to self medication So back to Anele who got retrenched in June 2020 – this was a real blow for her as she loved her career and her identity was very much tied to her job. She felt lost and found herself using alcohol to numb her pain even though she was well aware that this was a red flag of alcohol dependence. Like so many of us Anele began to try to control her drinking – setting rules – rules about not having alcohol in the house – which worked until about 5pm when she started getting fidgety so went out to buy some! Her family were worried about her drinking so she found herself hiding it She would tell then she was going for a walk and then find herself sitting in a bar Or going to the liquor store and then sitting in the part with her drink Getting home from these walks she would shower and go to sleep Of course her family knew what was going on but had no idea how to help Anele also tried hanging out with “Moderation Mary” as we call her in Tribe Sober but obviously that didn’t work either Finally she realised that she would have to quit so she went to AA for a while This really helped her at the beginning but as her alcohol free life began to take shape she decided that AA would not work for her long term She made it easier on herself during those first few months by not going out much – and explaining to her close friends that she needed their support, she needed them to be her accountability partners Anele is now 6 months sober with absolutely no desire to drink again She is a proud member of our Tribe Sober 6months+ whatsapp group – people on this group have navigating those early choppy waters of sobriety and are now discussing the next stage of the journey The stage where we create a beautiful alcohol free life – a life we don’t want to escape from We talked about sobriety benefits and having more energy is a big one Anele explained that she was always tired when she was drinking Alcohol  saps our energy (and our motivation) so when we’ve been sober for a while we’ll begin to rediscover our enthusiasm for life We’ll want to explore new projects and we’ll have the energy and TIME to do that. If we’ve been drinking for years then the fatigue will have built up – easy to confuse this tiredness with the ageing process but just wait until you start enjoying high quality sleep and you’ll feel amazing! Anele had always kept a journal – when she was drinking her journal entries were often angry ones but these days she uses it to celebrate her wins and to process her emotions – she’s feeling all the feelings and she’s learned to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I asked her for some tips for newbies – she made the very good point that if you are thinking about your drinking and if you are listening to this podcast then it’s a sign you need to take action. Did you know that the average timeframe that someone

Sam Delaney is a journalist and broadcaster.  I contacted him after I found his article in the Guardian saying that he is having more fun than ever now that he is sober – and he is 7 years sober just like me! Sam hosts two podcasts himself – one of which is called The Reset, a podcast in which he chats to guests about mental health, addiction and recovery He has just published a new book called: Sort Your Head Out -  Mental Health…without the Bollocks In this episode:-  Sam’s drinking career got off to an early start when he would go to the park with his friends at the age of 12 – drinking cans of warm beer taken from parents houses He thought nothing of it – it was just what kids did – totally normalised We agreed that times have changed and that a lot of teenage drinking came from the fact that we had so much time on our hands in those days Time to drink, to smoke weed and getting into fights was a kind of hobby to pass the time! Of course these days kids spend much of their spare time online which has a positive side to it In real terms the stats tell us that the UK streets are safer than they were in the 1980’s, in spite of constant headlines about knife crime Sam’s drinking didn’t become problematic until his late 30’s when his lifestyle hit a perfect storm The combined pressures of his career, young family, hectic social life as well as maintaining his Jack the Lad identify left him exhausted Exhausted mentally physically and emotionally We talked about the “false narratives” that are common among drinkers and Sam’s internal narrative was that he was doing this for the family The drink and drugs were acting as fuel to get him through the day and night – the fun was long gone Another false narrative was that it wasn’t harming anyone – whereas in fact his wife was becoming increasingly worried If she expressed her concern he would become hostile and tell her not to try to control him We agreed that the term “rock bottom” was yet another false narrative and that the last thing we should do is wait for the rock bottom Far better to step off the slippery slope as soon as possible rather than think you are fine until you get to that place! We agreed that drinking feels like freedom at first but for some of us it becomes a prison and makes our life very small We lose the ability to enjoy everyday pleasures The example of not seeing the point of a walk in the country unless the destination was a pub says it all! Towards the end of his drinking Sam would wake up each morning feeling awful and resolving not to drink that day – but of course he always did.  He was trapped in the Groundhog Day prison of daily drinking He indulged in yet another false narrative – the one about if you’re drinking expensive wine then you must be a connoisseur rather than someone with a problem Of course whether a bottle of wine costs £20 or £8 its still ethanol! One day he booked a session with a therapist at the Priory and that started his recovery I love the fact that he chose what he calls a “hybrid” approach – a bit of AA, a bit of therapy, a lot of reading and most importantly community support and sharing. The modern recovery movement offers a pathway for everybody – and there is no reason why we can’t mix and match the various approaches We need to throw the book at our sobriety and do whatever it takes! With 7 years of sobriety Sam can look back on his journey and realises that he’d been white knuckling for the first couple of years It was only a work crisis that made him re-evaluate and realise that he had to go deeper He’d been isolating and realised that he had to “do the work” Part of that work has been connecting with people in recovery and having conversations for his podcast or his articles I’ve done pretty much the same and learned so much from my podcast guests One of his revelations during sobriety was that it wasn’t a binary choice – he didn’t have to choose between the Jack the Lad drinker lifestyle or the “sober serious

My guest this week is Adrienne Stillman Krausz, a lady with a very sophisticated palate.  Her passion for fine food and wine began when she lived in Paris during her formative years.  Adrienne went to college in the US but while her fellow students were downing beers and jello shots she was heading downtown to drink expensive craft cocktails. She lives in the Nappa valley with her husband Jake who is a 2nd generation wine maker and as a couple they turned their talents to the alcohol free space. In this episode I think Adrienne is quite unique in that she has "a foot in both camps" as she puts it I love the way that together with her husband they are busy sourcing and curating the very best AF products – with the same care that would go into fine wines As they say on their website they believe that everyone deserves a good drink, whether it has alcohol or not! Adrienne admits that she did sometimes go overboard on the craft cocktails and as a newly married couple two bottles of wine was the norm most evenings She did begin to feel the after effects of that wine in the morning and never really bounced out of bed feeling great As they started to think about having a family Adrienne stopped drinking during the week However that meant that the weekend drinking affected her more Coping with fertility problems led Adrienne to give up drinking completely She also had to give up eating various foods with led to bouts of FOMO when she was socialising She got a taste of what us ex drinkers go through in early sobriety! Happily Adrienne became a mom and now has a 9 month old baby That’s when she noticed the mommy juice culture Hanging out with some other moms she was surprised to hear plans to drop off the babies and so they could drink some cocktails She noticed that some wine brands were targeting moms and we agreed that wine was sometimes seen as a “parenting aid” Mommyjuice gives our children the message that it’s so difficult looking after them that we need wine – not to mention the more general message that we use wine as a coping mechanism Adrienne’s interest in alcohol free drinks began when she met a sober coach who recommended that she try them. She was very sceptical and her expectations were low – she couldn’t really see the point However when she started tasting the various choices she was blown away by the quality Together with her husband they started researching – and were both inspired. She feels that the US is just scratching the surface but there is a lot of innovation going on Adrienne and her husband concluded that there were some great choices available but that the AF space was difficult for the consumer to navigate – so they decided to become “curators. They would be retailers of alcohol free drinks but only of drinks that they had sampled and enjoyed They would be two experts providing advice and education around their products They launched the Dry Goods Beverage Company in Summer of 2021. Their best sellers are the alcohol free wines and she particularly recommended Copenhagen sparkling teas – perfect as an aperitif as its crisp and refreshing. Adrienne explained that these teas provide the depth and nuance that the AF wines sometimes lack She also reminded us that AF spirits should always be mixed rather than drunk neat.  That’s why the cocktail recipes are so important. Adrienne has kindly offered our listeners a 10% discount on their products so just use the coupon code TribeSober The website is drygoodsdrinks.com and they are @drygoodsdrinks on Instagram More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com. to join our mailing list click HERE    Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sobe

There have been dramatic changes in the recovery space over the last decade Just 10 years ago you were either a normal drinker or you were an alcoholic and you went to AAWe now understand that alcohol dependence is a spectrum with many different stages between the merely sober curious and the problematic drinker ven if you are that problematic drinker you don’t have to go to AA any more -we now have a modern recovery movement with many different pathways to getting sober Part of that modern recovery movement is driven by young sobriety influencers – just like my guest today Claire Comai of Rehab Studios In this Episode Claire got sober at the tender age of 24 so her drinking career was very short but it was pretty intense! She first tried alcohol at about 15 and just loved it – as she says she was obsessed with it straight away and the only reason she wasn’t drinking all day every day was because she lived with her family and had to go to school! She drank when she was at high school and would blackout all the time Claire had health consequences and got herself into risky situations She had absolutely no off switch and felt something change in her brain after that first drink She went to uni in Montreal, a huge university where no restrictions were put on drinking Worried about her frequent blackouts Claire put lots of rules in place but of course like most of us she usually broke them! She ended up in hospital several times after drinking sessions and began every day with a hangover She used to see an addiction counsellor every week but all they did was to set new rules for her drinking Then came the intervention – she was helping her sister move apartments and discovered the rest of the family waiting there – sitting in a circle By this point her family were desperately worried about Claire’s drinking so had gathered together to let her know how they felt This intervention was a real eye opener for because she knew she was hurting herself with the drink but had no idea how it was affecting the people that loved her Her parents were very emotional but what really struck her was the fact that her younger sister had been staying awake at night worrying about her – when as the older sister Claire should have been a role model The intervention worked and she threw herself into sobriety – she went to AA and got a Sober Coach She did feel that she had been pushed into sobriety by her family and felt annoyed that her drinking career had been so short but over the months she began to feel better and better We agreed that the first few months are really really had but then it gets SO much easier and the benefits start coming in If you are in early sobriety and don’t have a community you should know that connecting with others on the same path makes a huge difference It’s really hard to do this alone so please reach out – just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe – or drop me a line at janet@tribesober.com Claire was usually the youngest person at the AA meetings and would often be told that she was so lucky to be getting sober at 24 -gradually she began to believe them! She now has more than 3 years of sobriety but still goes to meetings about twice a week – like us she believes that connection is the opposite of addiction and we must stay connected Even if we have a supportive family and lots of friends they won’t really understand us like other people who have struggled – they may innocently try to convince us that we’ll be ok to have just one glass of wine now, that’s something people in your sobriety group will never do! Like many of us Claire began to feel passionate about sobriety and began to speak out – to be a younger person in the world of recovery sharing her story We always advise our members to get a project in early sobriety to keep those sobriety blues away – if you want to know the science behind this strategy then listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 55, my interview with Dr Loretta Breuning. Clair

I learned recently that only 10% of podcasters manage to publish more than 100 episodes so today I wanted to mark the fact that the Tribe Sober podcast is still going strong after 150 episodes! Yes it’s hard work getting out a weekly episode but it’s also been such a pleasure connecting with some fabulous guests and of course getting feedback from listeners all over the world. I’ve taken a deep dive into our podcast archives and highlighted the top ten most popular episodes At number 10 we have 3 podcasts with 1,700 downloads! 10. The Happy Brain with Loretta Breuning  That was Dr Loretta Breuning – author the Happy Brain.  I always learn a lot from my guests and my conversation with Loretta led me to a personal lightbulb moment which actually changed the advice we give to our community. It’s common to experience a low mood in early sobriety – a spell of anhedonia. It certainly happened to me so I discussed this with Loretta She taught me that we don’t have to just grit our teeth and get through this difficult patch – there is a way out! A way to trigger our happy chemicals and banish those early sobriety blues It’s fascinating stuff so do have a listen to the interview – Tribe Sober podcast episode 55 on Apple podcasts or via this link 10. “Take a Break” Another episode that came in at 10th place with 1,700 listens was the episode called “Take a Break” – 3 Tribe Sober members talking about the benefits of taking a break from the booze. We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run 2 #Sober66 Challenges as well as our Dry January Fundraiser. On this episode we hear from 3 ladies who did a 66 day Sober Spring - why did they sign up?  what was it like?  what tips do they have?  Have a listen to Claire, Helena and Pam and if you’re inspired you can go to tribesober.com and sign up for the next #Sober66 which starts on 20th March Find this episode on Apple podcasts Tribe Sober episode 75 or via this link 10. Rebranding Sobriety with Susan Christina  The third episode at number 10 is my interview with the fabulous Susan Christina from Hola Sober. Susan Christina is on a mission to rebrand sobriety and make alcohol free living as attractive and glamorous as we thought drinking was She’s an advocate for the modern recovery movement and wants women to take back their power!  Susan Christina publishes a gorgeous 100 page online magazine call Hola Sober, packed with features and inspiration – I’ll put the link in the shownotes https://linktr.ee/holasober The episode with Susan Christina is called Rebranding Sobriety – episode 67 on Apple or via this link  8.  Casey joins up the dots... between drinking and anxiety Next up is an interview with Sobriety Coach Casey Mcguire Davidson with 1,800 downloads Like me Casey was caught in the corporate workhard/playhard culture as well as the mommyjuice trend…using alcohol to cope with stress and anxiety and becoming  more dependent over the years… But somehow we both found our way out of that trap and now we are finding joy in helping people to do the same  We talked about the strong women we come across in our sober communities – and how many of us managed to hold it all together through the drinking years. Once we are liberated from the shackles of alcohol addiction there is no stopping us and we go on to achieve great things.  We agreed that yes Sobriety is definitely a Superpower! Catch Casey on Tribe Sober podcast episode 66 on Apple or via this link 7. Is your Lizard Brain the Boss with Staci Danford Coming in at number 7 is neuroscientist Staci Danford which also has had 1,800 listens Staci is a neuroscientist who loves working with the sober community.  In this episode she shares some really practical and useful information about our brain. Staci explained how our primitive lizard brain will go on autopilot unless we intervene – she calls her Lizard Brain Earl and calls him out if he tries to hijack her behaviour! She confirmed that our #Sober66 Challenge

Professor David Nutt was sacked by the UK government in 2009.  He was dismissed for reporting on the comparative harms of various drugs.  He claimed that ecstasy and LSD were less dangerous than alcohol which didn’t go down well as the government would not even acknowledge that alcohol was a drug in the first place!  In 2010 he published a landmark study in The Lancet – a study that ranked the harm done to users and society by a range of drugs.  His study put alcohol as number one – as more harmful to society than heroin and crack. Since leaving his government position Professor Nutt has been chairing Drugs Science, an NGO which does ground breaking research and provides independent, evidence based information on drugs. He’s been engaged in some fascinating research into alcohol, cannabis and psychedelics and for the last few years he’s been working on the development of a drink which has just been launched in the UK – called Sentia. Sentia is a new type of drink that doesn’t contain alcohol but aims to recreate its relaxing effects.  The blend of botanicals in Sentia does this by enhancing the activity of a neurotransmitter called GABA in the brain. Since recording the interview I’ve been lucky enough to sample Sentia and can report that not only is it delicious but it certainly does hit the spot and deliver a gentle buzz. I drank mine neat with lots of ice and enjoyed the spicy bitterness. Our lucky UK listeners will be able to order it right now and hopefully those of us in the rest of the world will get to sample it soon. In this Episode David’s interest in the effects of alcohol began during his career as a doctor. Like most doctors he would see patients who had been damaged by alcohol practically every day His goal has been to produce a drink which provides the buzz of alcohol without the harm Sentia replicates the positive effects of alcohol (sociability and relaxation) without the negative effects (aggression and dependence) Alcohol affects the brain a bit like a sledgehammer whereas Sentia is much more targetted The benefits of alcohol kick in after one or two drinks when it affects our GABA system which keeps the brain calm But if we push the dose up to more than two drinks then it affects other brain neurotransmitters and can lead to more-ishness, craving, binging, amnesia and hangovers So the Prof has found a way to minimise the unwanted effects. Sentia has been designed by a world-renowned team of botonists, innovators and scientists and it only targets the GABA system The fact that the herbs which have been used to create it can be found in nature and have been used for centuries means that it’s exempt from food safety testing. We talked about the fact that if alcohol was invented today it would never pass any of the rigourous food and drink safety tests which new products have to go through David reflected that alcohol seems to have a special and privileged status in the world and came up with the interesting comparison with the fact that guns seem to have a privileged place in US law He also pointed out that alcohol kills more people than guns each year! I googled this stat and discovered that 45,000 people died from gunshot wounds in 2020 whereas alcohol related deaths average around 140,000 a year in the US alone - 3M worldwide I asked the Prof if Sentia was safe for those of us in recovery – he made it clear that Sentia is not a medicine or a therapy However it will not create dependence and it will create a feeling of relaxation He sees it as a good alternative for people who are vulnerable to alcohol dependence At Tribe Sober we always say don’t drink alcohol free drinks if they trigger you so we would advise the same approach with Sentia The advantage of Sentia is that it’s not fake alcohol so probably is unlikely to trigger ex drinkers Sentia is available in the UK right now and you can read more about it on the website which is sentiaspirits.com  International distribution has its challenge

By the time single mom Molly Desch was in her thirties she was hitting the alcohol hard.  Newly divorced she dived into the online dating game with enthusiasm and with hindsight she can see it was much too soon. She got very depressed and found herself in a suicidal state but she fought back…she ditched the booze, did the work and is in a very different place today.   In this Episode Molly was a rebellious teenager so the drinking started back then By her late twenties Molly was drinking heavily but never questioned it as it was so normalised In her thirties the drinking got really bad – freshly divorced she got back into the dating game far too soon As a single mom she was trying to keep it all together but felt she was going downhill fast Working from home she would be drinking in the mornings while she was doing online meetings with colleagues Hit by a serious depression she found herself sitting in her car with a loaded gun as she contemplated suicide Her son called her at that moment and begged her to come home She did go home and immediately called her mom who came to stay with her Molly knew she had to quit drinking but had no idea how she was going to do that and felt terrified at the prospect She went to AA which did help although she rebelled against the concept of being powerless and the rigid structure of the steps. After 3 months she left AA which is when Covid hit – that helped her stay sober as she couldn’t go anywhere She managed her first year of sobriety but was not really doing the work – just not drinking.. Perhaps that’s why she had 3 relapses in her second year Her last relapse was during her leaving party at a job she had been at for a decade – her colleagues put on a Happy Hour for her and she went completely over the top THAT was when she realised that she had to do the work and she threw herself into it with great enthusiasm She spent hours in the library – perusing the non fiction shelves and pulling out any books that appealed to her Molly was trying to discover who she was and what she actually wanted out of life She devoured self help books and loved the quitlit memoirs Her favourite book was "Braving the Wilderness" by Brene Brown We agreed that the Artists Way by Julia Cameron was a great way to unlock creativity and we both do our morning pages Molly did lots of journaling which allowed her to build new habits, build a sobriety toolbox, discover who she was and finally began to love herself She learned to set boundaries and began a daily meditation practice as well as yoga Molly got in tune with her intuition and started paying attention to it She takes pleasure in everyday activities like gardening and walking her dog Her top 3 benefits of sobriety are better relationship with her kids, waking up in the morning feeling great and getting to know who is she really is and what she wants out of life One of the ways that she sustains her sobriety is by staying open to opportunities – one day she received an email about a coaching course and decided to jump on a free call to find out more The call led her to qualifying as a coach and quitting her job so she could focus on building her coaching practice These days Molly is thriving in her sobriety and loving her work as a coach – to find out more about her coaching go to her website which is asyouarelifecoaching.com  You heard Molly say that she had notebooks all over the house. She’s now taken the content from those notebooks and created a beautiful workbook about taking back control and redefining how you want to live – it’s called Wine Stole My Dreams – if you’d like a copy then just email janet@tribesober.com and I’ll send you one.More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our com

This weeks podcast guest is Meg Geisewite who has written an excellent book shining a light on some of the many Lies and False Promises that alcohol makes. She’s called her book "Intoxicating Lies" and she shares her own highly relatable story while busting myths about alcohol that have shaped the limiting beliefs of many drinkers. Her book uncovers surprising insights into the alcohol industry and our society’s obsession with the mommy wine culture.  In this Episode After college Meg did some modelling and as she puts it she was "the poster girl for Alcohol" – she was Miss Budweiser and the Guiness Girl to name just two of her modelling gigs Fully buying into the false messaging from Big Alcohol that we need alcohol to have fun As she got married and had children she found herself sucked into the mommyjuice culture – seeing it as an essential parenting aid. The turning point for Meg came when as she puts it “My alcohol use was no longer recreational, it was medicinal” This is a red flag of dependence for so many of us If you’d like our free PDF called “30 signs you need to take a break from alcohol” then just email me – janet@tribesober.com For Meg the shift from pleasure to medicinal came as she went through a particularly stressful time in her life She felt “dutiful yet dead”, people pleasing and taking care of everybody’s needs but her own. At this time she was seeing wine as a reward when she could finally grab some “me” time Of course she now knows that this perceived “reward” was just adding to her stress and anxiety and as the external stressors reduced she found herself with a nightly wine habit She plucked up the courage to tell her therapist that she was worried about her drinking – only to be told that she was simply thinking about it too much That ill judged advice resulted in Meg drinking for 2 more years We agreed that whatever your therapist/doctor/friend says to you about your drinking if it’s on your mind then reach out for some help and advice Go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe to join a sobriety community who can enable you to change your relationship with alcohol We agreed that the stigma needs to be lifted from women and their drinking and we need to talk about it more openly Of course that’s what Meg is trying to achieve with her book and what I am trying to achieve with this podcast Society likes to put people in boxes and pushes the false belief that if we are not homeless alcoholics then we are fine In fact we are likely to be somewhere on the Alcohol Use Disorder spectrum which is vast Rather than compare ourselves with down and out alcoholics we should be comparing ourselves with the best version of ourselves we could be Meg’s moment of truth came when she found herself resenting her kids staying late at school to do sport as it was interfering with her wine drinking time She realised that she was no longer in control and this scared her That’s when she joined Sober Sis – thinking that the 21 day reset would enable her to drink moderately She just wanted some tools to help her to drink ‘normally” Of course “normal drinking” is yet another intoxicating lie – once we’ve crossed the line into dependence we need to quit drinking completely and stop hankering after moderation Moderate drinkers just moderate, they don’t have to join a reset program! We agreed that in fact Sober Sis 21 day reset program appeals to a lot of people who are dependent but believe that they can moderate The important thing is to bring these people into the conversation and that’s what we do with our 5 day Bootcamps – just go join our free Facebook Group called Sobriety Bootcamp and you’ll be ready to participate in the next one For Meg the veil of lies about alcohol began to lift as she read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace She felt great at the end of her 21 day challenge and decided to stay curious and continued on a 90 day challenge That’s the way to do it – step by step – we avoid the F word at Tribe Sob

Most of our Tribe Sober members are quite mature – like me ;-)  They drank socially in their 20’s and 30’s and it was only later in life that they found themselves becoming dependent. But now and again we come across a younger person and my guest this week is Ellen Newstead who is in her early 30’s.  She was smart enough to realise at an early age that alcohol was messing up her life and that she would be happier and healthier without it. Ditching the booze at 30 changes your future - and that’s exactly what she did. Ellen’s drinking career was short but it was intense and she very sensibly decided to get sober for her wedding – which she did, and she’s never looked back.   In this Episode Like many teenagers Ellen was quite shy with self esteem issues and found that alcohol helped her relax and have fun She enjoyed the buzz and was soon chasing that feeling Her first experience of drinking was Alcopops which are between 4 and 8% alcohol If you listened to last week’s podcast you will have heard marketing expert Nigel Jones explain how we are groomed by the alcohol industry to drink alcohol from a very early age – groomed to be their lifelong customers Of course alcohol tastes unpleasant to a first time drinker – so they get round this problem by flavoring the alcopops to taste like cola or lemonade Teenage girls are particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of Alcopops and drinking before the age of 18 will increase the likelihood of dependence as we get older When she thinks back to those years of teenage drinking Ellen realises that for her “fun and alcohol” became so closely linked she couldn’t imagine one without the other – a situation that continued for the next decade For many of us alcohol is perceived as the “gateway to fun” and Ellen talked about the “false promise of alcohol” Millions of us bought into this false promise and it took me decades to realise that alcohol is just 10% ethanol and 90% marketing! The fun comes from the people who are with and the environment you are in When Ellen went off to Uni she was expecting to find lots of other enthusiastic drinkers but soon realised that not many of her contempories were in her league – she was the ringleader - always the one wanting to make every social event about drinking! By her second year at Uni she had found a weekend job in a bar and had started to enjoy drinking alone, at work and at home By her early 20’s a bottle of wine a night was the norm She went through a period of unemployment when she was 25 and that was when she totally “lost it” as she puts it She treated the pub as a social club and went there every day, she met someone who invited her to his house to continue drinking and sleep over if she needed to She would often drink to oblivion and wake up not quite knowing where she was Ellen would lie to her boyfriend and parents about where she had spent the night Fortunately Ellen got a job which put some kind of structure into her life so her drinking was confined to weekend binge drinking Then came Covid so home drinking became the norm as the pubs were closed As she no longer had access to the pub she recreated her comfort zone in her spare room A home pub – complete with beer mats, signage and bar snacks! The pubs were busy delivering containers of alcohol people’s homes so the drinking could continue in spite of lockdown As the UK gradually opened up again drinking was allowed in outside in beer gardens Ellen was so excited by this development that she drank to blackout the first 3 times she went to the pub! In spite of this she maintains she wasn’t physically addicted – her addiction was more psychological If you listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 48 you can hear Molly Watts explaining why only 10% of dependent drinkers are physically addicted – for the rest of us its psychological Ellen began to hover around rock bottom – she lost her wallet, she lost a weekend, she was refused service in a bar… More importantly though she

Nigel Jones is the founder of “9 kilometres before 9am” which is what he’s been doing ever since he decided to quit drinking. He’s a sobriety coach and has written a book called Walking Back to Happiness which is a lovely title and describes the feeling we get as we begin to thrive in our sobriety. Nigel’s professional background is in marketing and PR so he has a deep understanding of the power of messaging and the effect it has on our subconscious mind.  As he says we are in effect being “groomed” by the liquor industry to be loyal and lifelong consumers. In this Episode Nigel’s first drink strong cider at an early age – obviously it tasted disgusting to him and he was very sick – which made us reflect on the craziness of forcing ourselves to drink something we hate just so that we can acquire a test for it! Going to Uni was when the party really got started and daily drinking became his pattern. That mix of affordability, availability and the heady feeling of being away from home means that the party starts for many of us at this stage of our lives. Nigel developed a career in marketing and PR – a profession where alcohol is “baked in” to the job and you wouldn’t climb that career ladder if you didn’t take clients out for drinks or let your hair down with colleagues at the end of the week. Work hard, play hard culture as in every corporate that I’ve worked in. Nigel drank for 35 years and certainly identified as a “drinker” – but as he got older he felt his body was not coping with it very well. He was constantly anxious and not sleeping well. He began to worry that he wouldn’t see his 60th birthday if he carried on like this. Like many of us Nigel had know for years that he was drinking too much but always pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind He spoke about the Tribalism of being a drinker and how hard it is to step away from the pack. Not only do we feel vulnerable but our drinking buddies feel that we are holding a mirror to their drinking Leaving the Drinking Tribe is hard – it goes back to our roots when we had to stay with the tribe for protection. The way to cope with this is of course to join a Sobriety community and I must have had this in mind when I called our community Tribe Sober! If you think its time to transfer from your Drinking Tribe to Tribe Sober then just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe! Nigel made the decision to quit one morning in December He’s had many Day Ones but never got further than 6 days in This time he approached it from a completely different angle Rather than seeing himself as a drinker trying to use willpower to become a non drinker…. In marketing speak he re-branded himself as a non drinker from Day 1! That’s what we’d call a massive reframe here at Tribe Sober! That was a gamechanger for Nigel – he realised that his failure to stop for 35 years was simply because he was using the wrong technique! He used the analogy of a mountain – rather than starting at the foot of the mountain on Day One – with a long and intimidating climb ahead of him He started at the top of the mountain - as a non drinker – on Day One! Of course he had to work on his belief system to change his identity from drinker to non drinker He began to identify as a non drinker who leads a healthy life, gets up early, exercises, meditates and lives in the moment So he began to do all the things a non drinker would do He used the power of intention – he had the intention to be a non drinker Nigel explained to me that the power of intention is when:- What you intend to do becomes the deed, the deed becomes the habit, the habit becomes the character and the character can become the destiny Nigel is 2 years sober and loves the alcohol free lifestyle – he’s in his 50’s but he feels like he’s in his 20’s! We agreed that Sobriety is a Superpower He has 3 daily goals – up at 5.30am, walk 9 kilometres befoe 9am, meditate for 15 minutes – and don’t drink alcohol today. So simple but so powerful! N

After running Tribe Sober for 7 years and helping hundreds of people to ditch the drink and embrace alcohol-free living I've learned a thing or two. My biggest insight has been that sharing our stories around alcohol is the most powerful way we can help others - that's why the heart of this podcast is recovery stories. This week I'm doing a solo episode - 7 reasons to do an alcohol free January - and 14 tips to get you through. In This Episode REASONS TO DO AN ALCOHOL FREE JANUARY A dry month is a great way to test your dependency - if you can't get through a month without booze then you need to make some changes Alcohol is so toxic that just taking a month off will have significant health benefits Alcohol is linked to liver disease and 7 different types of cancer - 1 glass of wine will raise your risk of breast cancer by 15% Alcohol will weaken our immune systems - and put us more at risk of becoming infected with Covid 20% of regular drinkers will become dependent over the years - drinking more than a bottle and a half of wine a week may damage your health A month off alcohol will reduce your anxiety, freshen up your looks, help you lose weight and enable you to get some good quality sleep Making a donation to our January fundraiser will give you a dopamine hit (giving makes you feel good) and enable you to receive online and community support for 31 days - you can sign up here   SOME TIPS TO GET YOU THROUGH Shake up your daily routine and exercise every day Be ready to cope with your emotions - if you've been numbing your feelings with alcohol they will come to the surface Use a journal to track your progress, note your triggers and process your emotions Listen to music, make a soundtrack for your January Challenge - a real mood changer Have your go-to drinks -drinknil.co.za are offering 10% discount on all their alcohol free drinks for people doing our Challenge Find your tribe - its hard to do this alone - check out our membership program here Please donate to our Earthchild Fundraiser - and get 30 days of community and online support - sign up link is here MORE INFO To access our website click HERE EPISODE SPONSOR This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7 step program and subscribe HERE.   Please subscribe and share this podcast so we can reach more people who need our help. Thank you

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast is released on New Years Eve so by the time you get to hearing it the festivities will be drawing to a close and your thoughts will be turning to 2023.  We want to help you to make a healthy start to the new year so we've launched our 8th Annual Fundraiser which will provide you with online and community support for an alcohol free month - and enable you to help a disadvantaged child.  Talk about a win-win! We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January.  On this week's podcast we hear from 3 ladies who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up?  what was it like?  what tips do they have?  Let's hear from Claire, Helena and Pam:-   In this Episode Like many of us Claire had fallen into the routine of drinking a bottle of wine every evening - and she wanted to make a change. Claire who wasn't sure that an online community would work for her - she thought she might be the "wrong generation" but in fact she loved it.  She posted comments daily and felt a deep connection with the other challengers. She didn't find it that difficult.  She had been "thinking about it" for so long that one she actually took action and signed up for the challenge she was more than ready - and got straight through 66 alcohol free days without a slip up! Then we heard from Helena who has struggled with drugs and alcohol for years but who is now making real progress. She was fascinated by the idea of a 66 day challenge and the fact that a new neural pathway can be created in this time. Pam explained  that she had been worried about her drinking for a while and that the challenge finally made it clear to her that "moderation" was not going to work for her.   Our Challengers had plenty of useful tips to share - "make a plan" was a big one - Claire explained that visiting an exclusive game farm carrying a huge bag of AF drinks may have bemused the staff but it enabled her to stay on track! Journalling was another important tip - buy a notebook, process your emotions and log your progress during the Challenge. Treat your Challenge as a research project - listen to podcasts, read the quitlit and learn everything you can. We often have a vague feeling that we need to do something about our drinking but a challenge will enable you to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and take action - SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE "Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking" so doing a challenge is a great "reason".  If you have to explain to your family and friends why you are not drinking you can say "I'm raising money for charity by doing a Dry January!" An alcohol free month will enable you to experience some benefits of sobriety but to really experience the joys of alcohol free living you need to keep going a bit longer.  You will meet others on the challenge who will be keep to extend the challenge to 66 days, 100 days - even six months! Another great tip we heard from our Challengers was to reconfigure your day - shake up your routine a bit and you won't miss alcohol so much! If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE

Tribe Sober - Your guide to alcohol-free living! After running Tribe Sober for 7 years and helping hundreds of people to ditch the drink and embrace alcohol-free living I've learned a thing or two. My biggest insight has been that sharing our stories around alcohol is the most powerful way we can help others - that's why the heart of this podcast is recovery stories. This week I'm chatting to a truly inspirational woman - Janna Kretzmar - Founder of the Earthchild Project and Fair Lady Magazine's Social Entrepreneur of the Year In this Episode 2023 will be the 8th year that Tribe Sober has collaborated with the Earthchild Project for the Dry January Challenge Over the years we have raised more than R300,000 so in this episode we discover how that money has helped 880 children Janna tells us how she came up with the idea to start the project in 2007 - and why she thinks it's been such a successful project She worked on an eco project in Brazil and read a book by a yogi about a project in schools in India - these were her influences She realised that it was important to partner with the schools/teachers for the long term - not just come in for short term projects Earthchild Clothing paid the salary of their first facilitator so that's how they got their name We talked about the power of positive role models in communities and how she is developing young leaders Earthchild provides yoga classes, gardening lessons, eco clubs, hiking clubs - connecting the children with their bodies and the environment The children come from communities with high levels of gang violence and unemployment - yoga provides a tool to help them cope with stress Some of the children who started yoga classes when they were 6 years old are now young leaders working in the Earthchild Project More infoSubscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERETo access our website click HERETo join our Dry January Annual Fundraiser click HERE - a small donation will provide you with community and online support during January Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 8-step program and subscribe HERE. Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

This week’s podcast guest is Jason Lewis Williams who popped up on Tribe Sober's Facebook Group last May and has been inspiring us ever since.  At the time of recording we are approaching the festive season and the global marketing machine is on steroids – encouraging us to shop until we drop and of course to swim through the whole period in a sea of booze. We are encouraged to drink and to celebrate and then to drink a bit more – until January of course when we are all supposed to be plunged into despair as we white knuckle our way through a miserable Dry January without our constant companion alcohol. The manipulation is endless – until we decide to see it for the BS that it is… Jason has certainly got to that stage and a recent post from him says:- Who else is positively looking forward to waking up sober on Christmas morning? There's one thing I'll say for having had a drinking problem, when you get rid of it normality feels so good, particularly on occasions where you would have been so messed up In this Episode Jason adored his father – who was an alcoholic. Looking back on his childhood he now wonders if he was subconsciously picking up that alcohol is how you deal with stress – how you deal with life! He’s definitely got a point there and I think it’s easy to forget how perceptive our kids are – they see us role modelling drinking as a coping mechanism and will begin to see that as normal behaviour Jason had a difficult time as a teenager – seeing his mom battling with years of ill health before she died. By then he was drinking to deal with his pain. He failed his exams at school and went to work in a clothes shop where he found it easy to indulge his all day drinking habit. His mom left him some money so he was able to take his A levels and go to University – where his drinking ramped up another notch As an 18 year old Jason was drinking a lot and feeling quite grown up – but now that he is the father of an 18 year old he realises that he was not grown up at all – and would hate to see his son in the same situation Through his 20’s and 30’s he drank consistently – keeping himself “topped up” as he put it – I know what he means and certainly had many holidays where my goals was to keep the vibe going as I called it! Jason’s dad was what he calls a “proper alcoholic” who even resorted to drinking after shave when there was no booze available As he says this is “a dangerous benchmark” We agreed that comparing ourselves to severe alcoholics is counter productive and that we should be comparing ourselves with the best version of ourselves that we could be So if you’ve heard the massive amounts of booze that Jason was getting through please don’t think that you are fine – because you don’t drink like that. The fact that you are listening to this podcast implies that you are sober curious so you should explore that and take a Sober Year Make 2023 your sober year – use our “christmas2022” coupon to get your 20% reduction on Annual Membership – after all if you don’t like the alcohol free lifestyle you can always go back to drinking! Jason was often at the doctors with various ailments which he knew in his heart were related to his drinking – one of his ailments was gout which used to put him in bed for a couple of days a month He used to blame his gout attacks on eating cakes – in his denial he wasn’t going to link it to alcohol even though there is a definite link between beer drinking and gout. Of course he lied about the amount he was drinking to the doc but even so was told he was damaging his heath I think as drinkers we get used to feeling “under par” – as I got older I felt more tired, more anxious and generally inspired – but I put that down to ageing. Now that I am 7 years sober and 7 years older I feel amazing – just because I stopped poisoning myself on a daily basis!   Who knew? Jason would complain to his friends that he was drinking too much but they told him he was “fine” – of course they had no

This week’s podcast guest is Tribe Sober member Judy Cook.  A Headmistress who describes herself as a Functioning Alcoholic – loving her job and still managing to run her school efficiently even though her alcohol dependence was increasing.  Like many of us Judy has been blown away by the benefits of sobriety and the warm connection we find in the Recovery Space.  In this Episode Judy was a late developer when it came to alcohol – at the age of 18 she couldn’t see the point of going to the pub unless you were thirsty! However by the age of 28 her wine habit began to get established – a drink when she got home from work (as a reward) and a glass while she did the cooking.. Alcohol is so insidious – the way it creeps up on us – that’s why it’s so important to do a regular dependence check with an alcohol free challenge – go to tribesober.com and join our annual fundraiser for your dependence check – 30 days of online and community support People were either “normal drinkers” or they were “homeless alcoholics” who needed to go to AA – there was no recognition that it was a spectrum… a slippery slope that we could step off before we lost everything! Over the years alcohol became her best friend and she was undaunted about the prospect of ending her 32 year marriage because she always had her “wine” to keep her company Such a red flag when we build a relationship with alcohol and our ideal evening is to stay home alone with a bottle of wine – that’s why we encourage our members to write Goodbye to Alcohol letters which you can find on tribesober.com under the “podcasts and more” dropdown menu Judy found lots of reassurance that drinking was normal – after all everyone on tv dramas was drinking, there were press articles saying that “red wine is good for us” You heard Judy say “Why didn’t anyone tell me that it was poison?” and I so empathise with that – if you know my story then you will know that I nearly drowned in my bath due to an alcoholic blackout when I was in my 20’s – but nobody told me I should get help – on the contrary we turned it into a funny story Judy made sure to book holidays where the alcohol was included – and even took a suitcase of bottles with her on one trip! Meals out were more about the wine than the food of course. She talked us through her arrival home from work – husband waiting with a glass of wine, the first of many – evening of drinking would end with a glass of wine by the bed Waking up she couldn’t remember what they had eaten or watched on tv the previous evening Her first thought on waking was around how much wine she had in the house and how many bottles she needed to buy Judy’s wake up call was when she woke up with tingling in her fingers and toes This is a symptom of alcoholic neuropathy. Alcohol is toxic to nerve tissue and can damage the nerves which transmit signals between the body, spinal cord and the brain.  Yet another example of the toxic nature of alcohol. So Judy’s mind was made up – she had to stop – now it was about the how – AA was out of the question as she didn’t want to bump into anyone she knew so she went onto FB and found Sober Coach Simon Chapple I love the way the modern recovery movement has evolved over the last decade – Judy may have stayed stuck in her drinking if AA was the only solution but now there are so many options I loved her story about picking up her little dog and her mobile and going into the woods for a long conversation with Simon She skipped home from that call feeling SO much lighter – and that’s exactly how we feel one we’ve shared our story – the relief is huge and we know there is a way out As Simon told her she had already started her journey by reaching out for help Reaching out is the biggest step so if Judy’s story is resonating with you why not take that step right now and reach out to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” I’m always telling people to make sobriety their priority and throw the book at it – do all the things Jud

This weeks podcast guest is Chuck Schad who is the founder of the Inner Theater – which offers mindfulness and meditation programs. He is passionate about meditation which enabled him to stop drinking and change his life. Chuck shares his story with us and he ends our conversation with a five minute meditation which will enable you to breathe and take a pause if you get triggered to drink. In this Episode Chuck and his wife came of age in the late 60’s when he began to dabble in meditation – he even studied it with a Vietnamese Monk But then life got in the way – 2 kids and 2 busy careers meant that meditation got shelved for a while A difficult period in his life led Chuck to step up his drinking The combination of a business failure and a son with a drug problem sent him to AA for help with his alcohol dependence AA wasn’t the right fit for him and he sometimes had a beer on the way home to calm his nerves! He was feeling totally strung out so went to his doctor who prescribed Benzos for the anxiety Chuck then became addicted to Benzos – and had to go to hospital for help to stop The combination of alcohol and Benzos is not a good one – as we heard on last weeks podcast interview with Janet D Chuck began reading about Eastern meditation and then began to meditate daily with Sadhguru He began to feel so much better that he began to give talks about meditation at local libraries His passion for meditation grew and he was offered a job running sessions at an Inner City Clinic Meditation changed everything for Chuck – it gave him distance and made him realise he didn’t need external help for his problems – he had the answers within You’ll hear Chuck explain that we have between 20,000 and 70,000 individual thoughts every 24 hours but meditation enables us to flip the coin and watch these thoughts – to be the witness and break the spell! It enables us to take a step back, to settle ourselves down and to learn how to “self soothe” Chuck and I talk about the demands of corporate life – and the fact that some progressive organisations are hiring him to run meditation sessions for their employees He talks about using of meditation in recovery and we discuss the value of reframing – just as we say at Tribe Sober that “getting sober is an opportunity to change your life” – he says that “Recovery is an Invitation” You can find Chuck at the innertheater.com and his Facebook page is Chuck Schad Our conversation will end with Chuck doing a meditation which can enable you to PAUSE if you get triggered and feel like having a drink So even if you’ve never meditated before please give the meditation a try – it’s just 5 minutes but if you close your eyes, get comfortable and listen to Chucks soothing voice you’ll be in a different state afterwards and may well be able to resist any cravings to drink Keep this podcast handy on your phone so that you can quickly tune into the last 5 minutes and do the meditation whenever you need it More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Tw

This weeks podcast guest is another Janet - Tribe Member Janet D Janet joined us in August 2021.  She used all the tools,  stayed connected and got through those first difficult months.  As you will hear she’s now thriving in her sobriety tells us she’s planning to be a Tribe member for Life! We love it when our Tribe members decide to Pay it Forward and help other people to do what they’ve done.  It certainly affirms our decision to be sober when we see how some of the newbies struggle – and of course we continue to get inspired by the hobbies and interests we see our sober members pursue.   In this Episode Janet’s father was a drinker and her mother was hooked on prescription drugs By the time she was only 4 years old Janet would notice how her fathers personality would change – and by the time she was 8 she realised that the alcohol was responsible She tells us the story of watering down her dad’s beer and gin to prevent the mood swings – I find that really sad and can picture that well meaning little girl emptying out the alcohol and replacing it with water Janet would go to the pub with her older brother at the age of 15 but wouldn’t drink very much The combination of her exposure to alcohol as a teenager and her genetic link to a father who drank she had two factors that would pre-dispose her towards alcoholism However it wasn’t until much later in life that she began to struggle with alcohol Up to 40 years old she was fine so she was definitely a late onset drinker Janet had a high flying career and had her children relatively late in life. It was only when she gave up her job to stay at home with her two young children that the alcohol consumption increased. She slipped into the pattern of a couple of glasses of wine while preparing kids for bed – and then sharing more with her husband when he came home from work A bottle of wine each evening with more at the weekend when they socialised With hindsight Janet can see she was in denial about her drinking – she never thought anything of it Her consumption increased when she discovered the winebox (which was the downfall of many of us I think!) – no more recycling worries or watching the level in the bottle go down! So like 20% of social drinkers Janet had become dependent As Ken Middleton explains in this article about the science of alcohol dependency “if you drink consistently for a long enough period of time, the chances of you having a “problem” are almost guaranteed” Ken also explains that for many of us the heavy drinking doesn’t really take hold until somewhere between the 16th and 23rd year That would certainly apply to me who started as a teenager and was definitely hooked by my 40’s whereas Janet D didn’t start until she was 40 and was hooked by her early 60’s As Janet says she had drunk her “quota” when she gave up – those of us who started early had definitely had their quotas by the age of 40 which seems like a great age to quit! A Doctor said to me once that we can get away with quite a lot of unhealthy behaviour until we are 40 but then we must start taking care of ourselves I think ditching the booze is absolutely the best thing we can do for our health and happiness as we age Janet explained that she did try to give up after having surgery but found it really hard as she was white knuckling it This experience taught her that she could probably give up drinking if she put her mind to it but it would be really hard and pretty much a lifetime struggle That’s the mindset we are so keen to overturn here at Tribe Sober – we don’t believe in “white knuckling” which involves willpower. We help our members to change their mindset about alcohol so that their desire to drink will diminish So rather than a lifetime struggle we believe it’s a matter of six months of hard work and then it's done – then we have to reconfigure our lives and learn to navigate our alcohol drenched society but certainly within a year we can change our lives! In 2021 Janet w