As Long As I'm Living

Today on the podcast, we're welcoming back our resident grief therapist: Dr. Denise Mandel!

We talk to Dr. Denise allllll about support groups. What are they, how do they help, how can you find one? We also talk about why some people DON'T like support groups, and other ways that you can find support in your loss if the group you tried to join isn't working.

Dr. Denise is actively recruiting for a new baby loss support group, so if you've been looking for a kind, supportive provider and a warm, welcoming group of bereaved parents... this is your sign! Reach out to her at griefwithdrdenise@gmail.com.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- @griefwithdrdenise on Instagram

- ALAIL | An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom

- ALAIL | Grief Needs a Witness, an interview with Dr. Denise Mandel

- ALAIL | There Are No Silver Linings, an Interview about Making Meaning in Grief with Dr. Denise Mandel

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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Hi all! It's a holiday week here in the US, so we're taking the opportunity to release an Instagram live we did back in May to the feed.

In this live, we mainly talk about a then-recent episode of the podcast in which we tell the stories of our losses. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, listen HEREand then come back and listen to all the commentary :)

If you'd rather watch the Instagram Live instead of listening to it (highly recommend), you can do that HERE!

We'll see you back here next week with a brand new episode!

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- ALAIL | Long Story Short, I Survived

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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

In this episode, Judith talks about how she's prepping as she approaches the birth of a (hopefully alive) new baby.

How is she thinking about naming her son, after her first son died? What of Aiden's clothes will she put on the new baby? Will she do the same religious traditions, in the same way? How is her mental health?

Preparation for a new baby is always a huge undertaking, but it's even more intense when one of your babies has died.

Update: Judith's baby was born, and he's alive!

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- ALAIL | Maybe Baby (Judith in labor with her daughter)

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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process.

This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there was no way to save both her baby and herself. This conversation feels more important than ever with the continued attacks on reproductive healthcare in many states here in the US.

Thank you for listening with an open heart to Emily's story, and thank you Emily for your vulnerability.

Note: We separated out the majority of the medical details of Maliyah's birth into a separate episode for those of you who find pregnancy complications triggering. To listen to that episode for all of the context, go back one in your podcast feed!

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- ⁠HELLP syndrome⁠ - Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets syndrome

- ALAIL | ⁠TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill⁠

- ALAIL | ⁠When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa⁠

- ALAIL | ⁠The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)⁠

- ALAIL | ⁠From the Other Side of the Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)⁠

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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process.

This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there was no way to save both her baby and herself. This conversation feels more important than ever with the continued attacks on reproductive healthcare in many states here in the US.

Thank you for listening with an open heart to Emily's story, and thank you Emily for your vulnerability.

Note: This episode contains the majority of the medical details of Emily's TFMR, and if you find pregnancy complications triggering, we recommend you skip straight to the next episode in which we speak with Emily more broadly.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- HELLP syndrome - Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets syndrome

- ALAIL | TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill

- ALAIL | When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa

- ALAIL | The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)

- ALAIL | From the Other Side of the Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)

:::

Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

The statistics about freak accidents, rare diseases, and the astounding unlikelihood of your baby dying are comforting... until you're the one in a million that has a bad outcome.

Our attitudes about statistics have changed. Let's talk about it.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- The Miscarriage Odds Reassurer

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Listen to Part 1 ⁠HERE⁠ and Part 2 HERE. This is the last part of our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship has changed since Aiden died. In this part, Ilana gives advice for friends and family of grievers for making their griever feel supported.

We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by ⁠⁠Bruce Feiler⁠⁠:

- The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship

- The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones

- The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship

Grab your tissues. This series is a tear-jerker.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Listen to Part 1 ⁠HERE⁠. This is part 2/3 in our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how significantly their relationship changed after Aiden's loss.

We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by ⁠Bruce Feiler⁠:

- The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship

- The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones

- The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship

Grab your tissues. This series is a tear-jerker.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

For the next 3 weeks, we're interviewing Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship was affected after Aiden died. The effect was significant.

We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by Bruce Feiler:

- The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship

- The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones

- The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship

Grab your tissues. This episode (and the subsequent ones, too) is a tear-jerker.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Announcing... As Long As I'm Living podcast sponsorships!

We've released 155 episodes of our podcast, and Alina has edited every single one of them. It's a LOT, and she's tired. We want to ensure that making ALAIL is sustainable so that we can keep going for as long as we have things to say.

There are a couple of ways you can support the podcast (below), and you can hear more about each one in this episode.

1. One-time support

2. Monthly support

3. Episode sponsorships

Our content has always been free, and it will remain free! This is just a way for us to build our community, get to know your babies, and ensure that the podcast sticks around for the long haul. Thanks for considering supporting us!

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Guess what... 3 years out from our sons dying, and we feel "sufficiently" healed to the point that we are not complete and total walking disasters 24 hours a day anymore.

Does that mean we're actually completely healed? Of course not. But it feels good to know that parts of our personalities, relationships, and worlds have recovered more than we ever thought possible.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We are joined on the podcast today by chaplain Reverend Marcie Brozyna!

Marcie is a bereaved mother to her son Rumi, who she lost at 26 weeks pregnant, but even before that she was a hospital chaplain working with the recently bereaved (or soon-to-be bereaved). We talk about Christian mourning rituals, and especially how they are applied after the death of a child.

We are so grateful to Marcie for her perspective (and her patience as we ask her to explain the literal basics of Christianity... this atheist and Jew needed some education).

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

In this episode of As Long As I'm Living, we talk about an article that caused a LOT of controversy on our Instagram.

It turns out that you are at higher risk for sudden death after the death of a loved one... but in a surprising twist, you are MORE at risk after the death of a spouse than after the death of a child.

At first we didn't really believe it... but the more we talked about it we kind of do! Listen to hear our thoughts, then message us on Instagram with yours!

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Time Magazine: Losing a Loved One is Life Threatening

- Life Change Index Score

- Quora Article: Is it more painful to lose a parent, or a child?

- ALAIL | There Are No Words, an interview with widow and greeting card maker Jess Walker of Five Dot Post

- ALAIL | An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Hello! We're here to give you all a basic life update. What's going on with Alina's IVF journey, how is Judith's pregnancy progressing (yes, we also talk about the intersection of these two things...), and an opportunity to marvel at how much we get done when we're together.

Xo,

Alina and Judith

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Today we're welcoming Aiden's Dad back to the podcast!

In this episode, we talk to Aiden's Dad about what the past few years since our last interview with him (which you can listen to HERE). During that interview, we talked about the story like it was over, but in hindsight, it was just beginning.

Aiden's Dad talks about grief and trauma aftershocks, depression, the weight of continuing to be a parent and spouse and employee while dealing with your own personal struggles, and so much more.

Thank you so much, Aiden's Dad, for your vulnerability. Wishing a gentle father's day to all of the Sad Dads out there.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” - Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

It should come as no surprise that we don't subscribe to the belief that time heals all wounds. But what DOES heal wounds, and are all wounds healable?

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Detritus

- Still Breathing, an interview with Katie Joy Duke

- All About EMDR, an interview with trauma therapist Rebecca Munini

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

In this episode, we talk about how we tell the story of our loss(es). It depends a LOT on the audience, our energy level, and so many other factors. We can't wait to chat about this with you all on Instagram, so head over and follow us so you can join the conversation!

We also take a TOTAL tangent about naked photos so please enjoy our chaos :)

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

The title says it all.

In this episode, we talk about what it's like for Alina to be NOT pregnant -- again -- while Judith is pregnant -- again. It's harder than the last time, but probably not as hard as you'd expect?

Note: this was recorded back in January, but it's May, and Alina is STILL not pregnant as of the release of this episode. Send wine.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- ALAIL | Loose Threads, a Conversation About Unrealized Dreams

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

"I think about them all the time" -- this is a thing that loss parents SAY a lot about their baby, but what do we actually mean? We try to explain.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Beyonce ⁠Heartbeat⁠

- ALAIL | ⁠A Picture Is Not the Same As Being Together⁠

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're returning from our accidentally really kinda long podcast break, and we are so happy to be back! Catch up with what has been up with us since January, while we catch up with what's been going on with all of YOU while we were out (via Instagram question box).

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're back from our break to say... we're not coming back (yet).

Alina is not doing well, and because she mainly edits the podcast, that means that we can't keep releasing new episodes right now. That's okay! We'll be back when we're ready.

Content note: Judith is pregnant, and (barely) announces in this episode.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- What a Shame She's Fucked in the Head sweatshirt (Etsy)

- ALAIL | Happy For You, Sad For Me (On Pregnancy Announcements)

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.

This week: how to take a really good bath, from Judith, and some other cheap or free hobbies.

XOXO

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Baked by Melissa

- Trader Joe's Green Goddess dressing

- Reddit 30+ Skincare

- Lush Melts bath bars

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.

This week: If you have regained the ability to read after your baby died, we have some recs for you! Judith's are sweet and fluffy. Alina's are about severe mental illness.

XOXO

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Lessons in Chemistry

- Icebreaker, Hannah Grace

- A Heart that Works, Rob Delaney

- Everything is Fine

- Juliet the Maniac

- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.

This week: we share a list of reality TV shows that will pass the time, and Alina talks around WTF happened in Saltburn. Watch that one at your own risk!

XOXO

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Love is Blind Sweden

- Bad Vegan

- Six Feet Under

- Millionaire Matchmaker

- Indian Matchmaker

- Jewish Matchmaker

- Saltburn

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.

This week: Judith wanders down a TikTok rabbit hole and shares her favorite follows.

XOXO

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Therapy Jeff

- Mrs. Melody Jenkins

- Cost n' Mayor

- Carla & Clio

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.

This week: Alina talks about WTF is going on with generational-wealth-holder, beauty-pageant-contestant, homemade-butter-churner, and mother-of-8 Ballerina Farm.

XOXO

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Ballerina Farm at Mrs. World

- Kyte Baby controversy

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.

This week: Judith talks about her polygamist podcast obsession and shares a few ways to travel the world via Youtube.

XOXO

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Growing Up In Polygamy

- Simon Wilson

- Harald Baldr

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Listen y'all... we're tired, and we need a break! We'll be back with real episodes in a few weeks.

While we're on our podcast break, we're going to share some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.

This week: what on earth to write in someone else's baby shower card.

XOXO

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- ALAIL| Happy for You, Sad for Me (On Pregnancy Announcements)

- Five Dot Post greeting cards

- Em and Friends greeting cards

- Noble Paperie greeting cards

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Back in our first month of the podcast, we talked about how the "old" Judith and Alina might never be back ever again, but who cares, because we're Wonder Women just the way we are. That said, we hated when people would tell us how brave and strong we were in our first year of the loss.

Now... 3 years out... we feel differently! (And also kind of the same.) Listen to hear how our thoughts have evolved on this topic over the past 2 years. Sending love to all of the Wonder Women, Men, Theys, and Thems out there navigating life without their babies.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- ⁠ALAIL | Wonder Woman

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Today on the podcast, we're joined by Judith's friend Mel!

Judith met Mel in the neighborhood about a year after Aiden died, and somehow managed to befriend her even though Mel is not a bereaved parent.

In this episode, we talk all about making new friendships after loss. We'll talk more about this on Instagram this week, so check in to see!

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- There Are No Words, an interview with widow and greeting card maker Jess Walker of Five Dot Post

- Messy Middle Art

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

2024, watch out! Don't even bother trying to be bad, because we are going to FORCE YOU TO BE GOOD. We are ready for a good year; we've earned it.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- ⁠Happier New Year⁠: 2022's new year episode, where we talk 2021 and 2022 horoscopes

- We Reject Our 2023 Horoscopes: 2023's new year episode, where we talk about our 2022 and 2023 horoscopes

- Judith's ⁠2023⁠ and 2024yearly horoscopes! (Sagittarius)

- Alina's ⁠2023⁠ and 2024yearly horoscopes! (Capricorn)

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Hi there! Alina live podcasted her Christmas Day. A lucky few of you listened live (hello!), but she's since edited this down to something a little more coherent.

Sending holiday season love to anyone celebrating or avoiding celebrating.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Today on the podcast, we're honoring Judith's birthday (today!) by talking about how hard it is to celebrate another year without your baby.

Getting another year older when your baby never will is a tough pill to swallow. Listen to hear our thoughts on our birthdays and others after our babies died.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Bustle's article: "The Birthday Blues are a Real Thing"

- ALAIL | An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Miranda's Mom Christine

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're joined on the podcast again today by Rabbi Nissan Antine.

In this episode, we talk about what a clergyperson or rabbi does when they arrive at the scene of a death. We also talk about the difference between grief and mourning.

Do you know a clergyperson of a different faith that you'd like to see us interview for the podcast? Please let us know ⁠here⁠!

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Trauma, Blah Blah Blah

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Today on the podcast, we're welcoming our first clergyperson, Rabbi Nissan Antine.

In this episode, we talk about Rabbi Antine's role when a loved one dies and discuss the laws and structures that Judaism puts in place to support those who are mourning.

Do you know a clergyperson of a different faith that you'd like to see us interview for the podcast? Please let us know here!

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Tefillin - Hester Panim - Crisis of Faith - Jewish mourning rituals

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

(i carry it in my heart)

In this episode, we talk about how we keep Quinn and Aiden alive in our hearts and homes. This is one of the ways that we continue to parent our boys, and it feels like an important part of our life's work to make sure their memory doesn't die with them.

Do you have a special way or ways you include your baby in your life? We'd love to hear about it!

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Aiden's grave suncatchers

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We'd like to be a little less strong, but unfortunately we are still flexing our resilience muscles every single day.

We're heading into whatever fresh hell this new week has in store for us, armed with antidepressants, candles, and the new perspective granted to us by the loss. Join us!

P.S. The internet was not our friend during this recording. Apologies for the pure chaos that unfolds as we tried to record a simple life update!

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Judith's anxiety meditation

- Ten Percent Happier app (Alina's link - 30 days free!)

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

"Mortui Vivos Docent" is Latin for the Dead Teach the Living, and it's also the TikTok handle of autopsy tech (and first responder) Ephina Disinger.

We are joined again today by Ephina and her coworker and friend chief deputy coroner Caroline Hanau. If you missed our first interview with Ephina and Caroline, you can find it here.

We have included an explicit content warning at the beginning of this episode, which we never do, because not everyone wants to hear about the ins and outs of dissecting a dead body. Please take good care of yourself and only listen if this interests you (as it does us), and remember that you can stop listening at any time.

You can find Ephina on TikTok.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- The Last Responders, part one of our interview with Ephina and Caroline

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

How many guests have we hosted on As Long As I'm Living podcast? What is the only US state that we've never had a listener from? What is the name of the episodes where we talk about body image, grief in the media, or traveling while bereaved?

We quiz each other on these questions, and many more, in this special anniversary episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast! We're so glad you're here.

:::

You can find all of the old episodes we talk about HERE!

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We are joined today by paramedic and autopsy technician Ephina Disinger and her coworker and friend chief deputy coroner Caroline Hanau.

If you had told us 3 years ago that we'd be interviewing experts in infant autopsy after our sons' sudden deaths... well, we wouldn't believe you. But we can't tell you just how HEALING this conversation was, not to mention fascinating.

Infants are not supposed to die. In this episode, we talk to Ephina and Caroline about the process of investigating why the death happened, whether there was foul play involved, and what it means for the rest of the family still alive.

This interview is not for everyone. We have included an explicit content warning at the beginning of this episode, which we never do, because not everyone wants to hear about the ins and outs of dissecting a dead body. That said, Ephina and Caroline spoke with such reverence and grace for their role as the voice of the voiceless, the dead. They treat the babies who come into their care with dignity, love, and care. Please take good care of yourself and only listen if this interests you (as it does us), and remember that you can stop listening at any time.

You can find Ephina on ⁠TikTok⁠.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Sometimes we're able to zoom out and see a pattern in our grief... The worst weeks -- the ones where we're on the floor, sobbing, hating our lives -- are typically followed by time where we feel so joyful and happy to be alive.

Do you notice this patten in your grief?

:::

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

In case you missed all of the 10 million news stories, a new war has broken out in the Middle East. Judith is experiencing communal grief in real time as the horrors unfold, and it's triggering a lot of her own personal grief.

I (Alina) am really moved by Judith's compassion for everyone involved even amidst an active trauma affecting her community. I'm asking anyone choosing to listen to this episode to set aside their feelings about the politics that led to this situation and listen with open hearts for the grieving.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- As Long As I'm Living podcast | Flying Over Denver

- Inside Trader Joe's podcast

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Meet Christine, Miranda's Mom! Judith and Christine met at a grief retreat in summer of 2021. They connected instantly, loss mom to loss mom, despite the fact that Christine's daughter was 25 years old when she died.

In this interview, we talk about the pros and cons of losing an adult child vs. a baby, the ways it's the same, and the ways it's different. Christine's no-nonsense approach to loss is so refreshing, and we think you're absolutely going to love her.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Hayden's House of Healing

- Helping Parents Heal

- Life After Loss (Tennessee)

- Study regarding prolonged grief disorder in mothers

- Grief coach Rosie Dalton

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

"You knew your body would change after having a baby, but you weren't prepared for how it would look with empty arms and heart broken." <-- These words from Unexpected Family Outing stuck with Alina from the first time she saw this post the month after Quinn died, and that's what today's episode is about.

The childbearing years are hard on everyone's bodies, but it's especially difficult when the baby, the one who is supposed to make it all worth it, dies.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Quinn would have turned three last week, and Alina live podcasted for the lead up to and day of his birthday.

He was born, and then he died. And it's fucked up. He should be here.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- The reel Alina made about searching for a birthday card appropriate for a dead 3-year-old

- Quinn is 3

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Meet Dr. Heather Florescue, an OBGYN out of Rochester, NY. She's a mom of 3 (triplets!) and an advocate for better care for patients who experience baby loss.

Listen to this episode to hear all about how she found her niche in obstetrics, what it's like to tell a patient their baby died, and how she educates OBGYNs to provide better care for these patients.

Next week's episode will be a continuation of this conversation, where we talk about patient empowerment, care during a stillbirth or TFMR delivery, and pregnancy after loss.

You can find Dr. Florescue on Instagram!

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Star Legacy Foundation and Summit

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Hi friends! We are fresh off of our 2023 grief retreat, where we cried, laughed, swam, reminisced, ate snacks, lit candles, danced, drank beer, and grieved. This episode features audio we recorded live from the retreat. In it, we chat about why we go on this trip every year, reveal who composed our transition music (they're legitimately famous), talk about how we incorporate our boys into everyday life, and more. Enjoy!

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Our crowdsourced playlist! (Thank you, Instagram community!)

- Heitor Pereira

- Carrie Soto is Back

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Quinn's Mom got married! It was both amazing and a total emotional shitshow.

Listen to hear how wedding morning went, and stay until the end to hear the most beautiful speech ever from the bride's son's best friend's mother, Judith.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

This is an episode for you to listen to when you're on the floor. For when you're so sad, you can barely function. For when you're staring into the void, at the debris of your broken life. We have been there, and as we record this we are there right now. You are not alone.

::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- All There Is | Grateful for Grief (Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert)

- Comethru, by Jeremy Zucker featuring Bea Miller

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

All we really want in life is simple: an alive family and a place to call home. Somehow, we can't manage to make it happen.

We're back in the washing machine, and the loose threads of our broken dreams are getting stuck in the lint catcher... or something like that (you'll have to pardon our metaphors).

:::

- "It only hurts this much right now" is what I've been saying the whole time. - Labyrinth, Taylor Swift (and our Instagram post about it)

- ALAIL | Egg(s) on my Face

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

You know that voice in your head that says, "It's been long enough now... time to get over it" when you're having a bad grief day? Well, Alina heard that voice out loud from someone in real life, and we have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about it.

We are sick of grieving. We are sick of living this life after our babies' lives ended. We are sick of being affected daily -- no, hourly -- by the trauma of holding our beloved sons' dead bodies. But apparently the people in our lives are sick of it too.

Apologies for Aiden and Quinn making SO MUCH NOISE throughout this episode. (But hi, boys!)

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're trying something a little different this week on As Long As I'm Living... This is a day in the life! We recorded all of our phone conversations for a day, and Alina spliced them together into this only moderately coherent podcast episode. It's a little chaotic, but truthfully that's because our brains are chaotic! We talk about tons of very real stuff and a bunch of nonsense. We hope you enjoy!

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Alina is starting IVF... TOMORROW! (Well, tomorrow as we recorded this episode.)

It's a mixed bag of feelings. Grief, that she has to do it at all. Gratitude, that she CAN do it. Excitement to be finally, finally taking steps toward having a rainbow baby.

There's a short follow-up at the end with the results from her first egg retrieval -- it didn't go great. Stay tuned for her next steps and more on her IVF journey.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- ALAIL: Interviews with Quinn's Stepdad: Part 1, Part 2

- ALAIL: TFMR is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill

- Empty Arms Bereavement Support

- ALAIL: Consolation Prize

- ALAIL: Grief Needs a Witness, with Dr. Denise Mandel

- ALAIL: There Are No Silver Linings, with Dr. Denise Mandel

- @griefwithDrDenise

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Thank you to Tyler, Quinn's step-dad, for this emotionally vulnerable and honest interview.

In this episode, Alina talks to her new husband about what the bad days look like from his perspective, how he takes care of himself while taking care of Alina, the great and not-so-great things about their relationship, and so much more.

Tyler also answers questions from listeners... questions like:

- How has this influenced any conversations surrounding fertility/parenting?

- Do you wonder who the "old" Alina is or grieve not ever knowing her? What do you like the most about the "new" Alina?

- How has Alina evolved in the last year?

- What is your relationship with Quinn, and how do you honor a child you never met?

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

Last week's episode, part 1 of our interview with Tyler! It's OK That You're Not OK, book by Megan Devine Instagram post of poem that Tyler mentions

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Alina met Tyler on Hinge in November 2021, LIVE on an episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast (yes... this is real!). This weekend in July 2023 is their wedding!

Listen to this episode to hear what Tyler's thoughts were when he first met Alina and found out about her traumatic backstory, how he was initiated into the "dead baby club" by Alina (and Judith), and the way he approached supporting Alina in the early days of their relationship when they were still getting to know each other.

Stay tuned for next week's episode, which is a continuation of this interview. In that episode, you can find out about how he takes care of himself while taking care of a grieving person, how he develops a relationship with his dead step-son, and so much more.

I (Alina) love Tyler so, so much. He is the best possible step-dad for my perfect baby boy, and I can't wait for you to get to know him.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

ALAIL: The Audacity of Hope (where Alina sees Tyler for the first time) ALAIL: Alina's Bad Day (an episode recorded the day after Alina's first date with Tyler) It's OK That You're Not OK, book by Megan Devine ALAIL: December 1st (where Alina yells at a lady on the street, around 16:00) ALAIL: Dead Bodies Aren't Decorations (where Judith talks about stealing dead baby décor her first introduction to Tyler!)

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

It's a holiday here in the US, but here is an episode from when we were together in Boston in March! We chatted about returning to work, Alina's wedding, and more! If you'd rather watch us in action instead of listening, you can do that HERE!

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Last week on As Long As I'm Living, we talked about how expensive the first few months are after your baby dies. This week, we're talking about the long-term costs: lost work, therapy bills, and fertility struggles are just a few of the things that we and you all in our community have experienced since our babies died.

To listen to the first episode in this series, click here:

The Cost of Loss, Part 1: The Early Days

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- SIDS risk at daycare

- Snoo and SIDS

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

In this episode, we break down how much it actually costs when your baby dies. Headstones, ambulance bills, and autopsies... oh my.

Stay tuned for next week's episode, where we'll dive into the ongoing, long-term costs. The numbers are horrifying.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Study about Americans' readiness for a financial emergency

- Adalyn Rose Foundation

- Vitrified Studio infant urns

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Alina posted a reel on Instagram a few weeks ago, and it got big. It somehow found the eyeballs of non-loss parents, and they were NOT comfortable with being confronted with the reality of baby loss.

In this episode, we talk about how it feels to be a part of a movement to reduce stigma, what our approach is to gaining followers (spoiler: we want FEWER followers because that means fewer dead babies...), and the way it feels to have your grief judged by strangers.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Alina's reel about visiting Quinn's ashes

- The /r/twosentencehorror Reddit post about stillbirth

- Sad Comfy Couch podcast

- Guys and Grief podcast

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Meet Jami, Lev's mom! Jami is a coworker of Judith's, and when she found out that Judith had lost a son, she reached out immediately.

Jami's son Lev was stillborn in 2008, and although she has since gone on to have 4 living children (and 2 additional pregnancy losses), she still grieves Lev's loss every day. This episode is a conversation about the differences between early grief and later grief, but also a conversation about supporting your grieving coworker.

Jami is lovely -- and a podcast listener! We were so glad she came on to talk with us.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're feeling good! And we're on the floor! ...sounds about right.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarria

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Alina's planning a wedding, and Quinn should be there. She's wishing she could google: "how to incorporate dead child into wedding ceremony" but unfortunately there's not many people who have lived experience with this set of circumstances.

Does anyone have tips for her? Please help.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Meet Jess Walker, the founder of greeting card brand Five Dot Post.

Jess is an entrepreneur based in Long Beach, CA. She started designing cards in 2018 after her husband Tommy's cancer diagnosis and grew Five Dot Post throughout his four-year fight as a way to support her family while serving the cancer community. Her love of greeting cards and small business led to a heart-centered company whose goal is to make connections of all kinds more accessible.

"Don't know what to say? Let us help." became the motto that Five Dot Post is built upon. Tommy passed away on Thanksgiving 2021, and Jess is continuing her business as a way to honor his positivity, humor, and fight.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

No matter how you felt about pregnancy announcements before, we're guessing your feelings have changed since your baby died. Ours certainly have.

It is not fair -- at all -- that our babies are dead and other people's babies are alive and kicking. It is a completely insane thing that our babies died, so of course we have thoughts and feelings that are absolutely insane. We need to forgive ourselves for having normal human emotions in response to a tragic situation.

Pregnant friends, we love you, but please don't listen to this episode. And yes, we do kind of hope you get stretch marks. Sue us!

:::

We're wishing our followers a gentle Mother's Day this weekend. We didn't touch it in the episode, but we know you're all feeling it. Sending lots and lots of love.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Pregnancy announcement post on @IWasSupposedToHaveABaby

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

TFMR: Termination for Medical Reasons. It's a particularly devastating type of baby loss, where parents are forced to make a "choice" that isn't really a choice at all.

Meet Alyssa, Adelyn's mom. She had to have a TFMR procedure to interrupt Adelyn's pregnancy in summer of 2022, right in the midst of Roe v. Wade being overturned here in the U.S. The fear and confusion surrounding her daughter's death added additional trauma to an already horrific loss.

Studies show that there are about 14 TFMRs every single day in the United States, making it twice as common as stillbirth... yet it is rarely talked about. Anecdotally, we have spoken to many loss parents who underwent a TFMR -- Alyssa included -- but didn't even know that there was a word for it, that there is a community of people who have had to make the same devastating choice, and that even though they made a decision to terminate a wanted pregnancy, they still deserve to grieve their baby's loss.

TFMR is baby loss. For more on this topic, listen to last year's TFMR Awareness Day episode, our interview with Alina's friend Jill.

TFMR is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill

:::

Resources for TFMR Parents:

- ⁠TFMR Awareness Day⁠

- ⁠Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep⁠

- ⁠Empty Arms⁠

- ⁠TFMR Mamas⁠

- ⁠Time to Talk TFMR podcast⁠

- ⁠TFMR Papas⁠

- ⁠TGN Therapy instagram⁠

- ⁠Petals Charity⁠ (UK)

- Ending a Wanted Pregnancy

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We are back from our podcast break!

In this episode, we talk about how weird it is to answer the question "How are you?" because we're objectively AWFUL, but also sometimes okay? And frequently both at the same time.

We'll be back Thursday with a BONUS episode for TFMR Awareness Day, and next week on Monday with our regularly scheduled episodes. We missed all of you terribly and are so happy to be back!

Speaking of TFMR Awareness Day, vote for As Long As I'm Living in the @TFMRAwarenessDay awards! We're up for Best Non-TFMR Specific Podcast and Best TFMR Podcast Episode for our episode with Hadley's Mom Jill (listen here!). You can vote at this link.

P.S. Sorry about Alina's noisy cat.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead!

:::

As Long As I'm Living: Advocacy

TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill

Abortion is Healthcare

Calamity, an interview about race and infant loss with Emy Collins, Bash's Mom

:::

Listen to someone else!

Sad Comfy Couch

Your favorite bereft aunties get real about surviving infant loss, navigating grief, and staying funny in the fuckery.

Start here: They haven't released their first episode! Make sure you follow them on Instagram.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead!

:::

As Long As I'm Living: Episodes from the Floor

Alina's Bad Day

November 30th and December 1st

Into the Planets

Big Feelings

Green Eyed Monster

Consolation Prize

Bruised Not Broken (skip to the end)

He's Still Dead

:::

Listen to someone else!

⁠Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel⁠

Listen to the incomparable therapist Esther Perel counsel real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal, and complicated details of the conflicts that have brought them to her door.

This season Esther speaks to a constellation of new relationships:

A couple wrestling with the guilt they feel over the happiness their infidelity created. Another trying to make space for their queerness in an outwardly appearing hetero relationship. A set of friends trying to sort out if their childhood friendship needs to continue into adulthood.

And Esther checks back in with couples from seasons past to see where they are now as she creates a space for us to hear our own lives and struggles articulated in the stories of others. So....where should we begin?

Start here: ⁠You Want Me to Watch the Kids While You Go Out with Another Guy?⁠

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead!

:::

As Long As I'm Living: Hear From the Pros!

Empty Arms, an Interview with Carol McMurrich

SIDS, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program

Parental Grief, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program

All About EMDR, an Interview with Trauma Therapist Rebecca Munini

Grief Needs a Witness, an Interview with Dr. Denise Mandel

There Are No Silver Linings, an Interview with Dr. Denise Mandel

Meet the Rainbow Baby* Doctor, an Interview with Pediatrician and Loss Mom Dr. Laura Arling

::: Listen to someone else!

The Silent Why⁠

Can hope be found in every type of loss? Join Claire Sandys (and sometimes Chris), a childless couple (not by choice), on a mission to find 101 different types of loss to see if it's possible to find hope, or even joy, in every type of grief.

Start here: ⁠Loss of a Family, with Alina

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead!

:::

As Long As I'm Living: Return to Work

Start Healing Together, an Interview with Jackie Mancinelli

There Is No Moving On, an Interview with Jen Su

:::

Listen to someone else!

High Strange

From the creators of Up and Vanished and Radio Rental, host Payne Lindsey attempts to break the stigma surrounding the topic of UFOs. In this new investigative series, Lindsey shines light on real-life coverups, and infamous cases, all while leaving the tinfoil hat at the door.

In the last few years, dozens of Navy pilots have come forward with compelling video evidence of objects in the sky that defy our current understanding of physics. The Pentagon has since confirmed the validity of these accounts and stated, “We don’t know what they are.” Can we finally have a healthy conversation about the possibility of intelligent life beyond our planet?

With a refreshing approach to the topic, Lindsey aims to separate fact from fiction when it comes to the strange happenings way up high. Do you want to believe?

Start here: Pale Blue Dot

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead!

:::

As Long As I'm Living: Grief 101

Little Triggers Everywhere

The Grief Button

Signs

Perfectly Normal

Why Me?

:::

Listen to someone else!

⁠Terrible, Thanks for Asking⁠

It’s a question we ask (and get asked) all the time: “How are you?” And normally we just respond with “Fine!” even if we’re totally dying inside, so everyone can go about their day. But it’s not always all that fine, is it? “Terrible, Thanks For Asking” is a show by author Nora McInerny that lets real people get real honest about how they’re really doing. It’s sometimes sad, sometimes funny, and almost always both.

Start here: ⁠Sad Nora and the Secret Baby

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

It's not goodbye, it's "we're overwhelmed and need a break, we will see you soon."

:::

Missing us? Try these podcasts instead!

1. Terrible, Thanks for Asking Start here: Sad Nora and the Secret Baby

2. The Worst Girl Gang Ever Start here: Tahnee Knowles - Stillbirth and PAL

3. Guys and Grief Start here: Episode 1: Introduction (brand new podcast alert!!)

4. Sisters in Loss Start here: Preeclampsia and Miscarriage and Helping Melinated Moms

5. The Silent Why Start here: Loss of a Family, with Alina

6. Inside Trader Joe's Start here: It's About the Products

:::

Song at the end is "Don't Give Up On Me" by Judith's favorite, Andy Grammer.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Our resident grief therapist is back... Dr. Denise is here to talk with us about making meaning after loss. What does it mean to make meaning? Why is is helpful to a griever? When do people typically start to have the energy to make meaning? Do you have to make meaning? What if you don't want to write a book, or make a foundation, or start a podcast? What can meaning also look like if not those "big" things?

Dr. Denise also gives us tips for making meaning, for anyone who is ready, and she offers sincere permission to skip it altogether if you're not.

:::

We have fantastic news from Dr. Denise... she is starting an online support group! For more information, listen to the end of the episode and reach out to her at griefwithdrdenise@gmail.com or on Instagram at @griefwithdrdenise.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Aiden died two years ago. That's pretty much it, that's the episode.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

This is the second part of Judith's interview with her friend Katie, Zayn's mom, who you may know as @BreathingAfterLoss on Instagram. To listen to the first part, where Judith and Katie talk about the struggles of having an alive baby after a dead baby, why they don't fit in with mom groups, and more, click the link below:

Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie

In this episode, they talk about how exhausting grieving while parenting is, celebrating alive and dead baby birthdays, being a first time mom for the second time, and so much more.

Content note: This is our most highly requested podcast topic, but we know it's also so triggering for so many. Alina didn't participate in this conversation for the same reason, as she doesn't have a living child to parent after loss (yet!) and it's a tough topic for her. Please feel free to skip this conversation if your heart can't handle it. 

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Judith got Aiden's results from the Roberts Program (see the episode where Alina got hers for more information on what this is... linked below), and it was good news. But it was good news about bad news, so it doesn't really feel so good. We share our feelings before and after the results meeting.

(P.S. Sorry about the weird audio in part 2!)

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

Alina's Roberts Program Results: Answers and Questions

Butrylcholinesterase

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

You may know her as @BreathingAfterLoss on Instagram, but we're here to introduce you to Katie, who happens to be a real-life friend of Judith's.

In this episode, Judith and Katie talk about the struggles of having an alive baby after a dead baby, why they don't fit in with mom groups, and more!

Check back in a few weeks for the continuation of this conversation, where Judith and Katie talk about things like how exhausting grieving while parenting is, celebrating alive and dead baby birthdays, and what it's like to be a first time mom for the second time.

Content note: This is our most highly requested podcast topic, but we know it's also so triggering for so many. Alina didn't participate in this conversation for the same reason, as she doesn't have a living child to parent after loss (yet!) and it's a tough topic for her. Please feel free to skip this conversation if your heart can't handle it.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Katie's account @BreathingAfterLoss

- Erica of @TravelingWithGrief, a mutual loss mom friend of Alina and Katie's who has shared a lot of her PAL journey on her Instagram account.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Thank you to listener Kim for the idea for this episode! Alina is going on vacation this weekend, and we decided to talk all about traveling after baby loss. Why is it so hard? What makes it worth it anyway?

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We thankfully had time to record a real episode for you later in the week, but this was our first attempt at this week's episode. It's BAD!!! Alina was sick and recording from bed, and for some reason both of our brains were not connected to our mouths. We're releasing this in case anyone needs a laugh, but we are fully aware this is our worst episode ever. If you want to listen to some better produced podcasts, take a look at our recommendations below!

:::

As Long As I'm Living podcast recommendations!

1. Terrible, Thanks for Asking

It’s a question we ask (and get asked) all the time: “How are you?” And normally we just respond with “Fine!” even if we’re totally dying inside, so everyone can go about their day. But it’s not always all that fine, is it? “Terrible, Thanks For Asking” is a show by author Nora McInerny that lets real people get real honest about how they’re really doing. It’s sometimes sad, sometimes funny, and almost always both.

Start here: Sad Nora and the Secret Baby

2. The Worst Girl Gang Ever

Miscarriage, infertility and baby loss podcast with Bex Gunn and Laura Buckingham. 

Start here: Tahnee Knowles - Stillbirth and PAL

3. Guys and Grief

Guys and Grief is geared toward fathers that have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. The guys share stories and challenges, as well as laughs and a few tears, as they navigate helping men honor their children, deal with grief, support their family, and try find better days ahead.

Start here: Episode 1: Introduction (brand new podcast alert!!)

4. Sisters in Loss

Sisters in Loss podcast spotlights faith filled black women who share their grief and loss stories and testimonies.

Start here: Preeclampsia and Miscarriage and Helping Melinated Moms

5. The Silent Why

Can hope be found in every type of loss? Join Claire Sandys (and sometimes Chris), a childless couple (not by choice), on a mission to find 101 different types of loss to see if it's possible to find hope, or even joy, in every type of grief.

Start here: Loss of a Family, with Alina

6. Inside Trader Joe's

A wildcard! Judith recommended this to Alina in one of their first conversations. Sometimes you need to listen to anything OTHER than baby loss.

Every episode takes you Inside Trader Joe’s in a podcast series only Trader Joe's could deliver.

Start here: It's About the Products

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Today on As Long As I'm Living podcast, we're taking stock. How far are we on our journeys toward Happier Ever After, 2ish years since the deaths of our sons? We think we're somewhere over Denver. Or Mars.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Why did MY baby die, when so many others live?

This is a question that we're sure all of you have asked yourselves at one point or another. We talk about our feelings on this topic and how they've evolved over the months since Aiden and Quinn died.

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

This week (1/18) marks the second anniversary of Quinn's death. To give Alina a break from editing, we're releasing this Instagram Live we did back in November when we were together in DC for our podcast anniversary!

We talk about things like:

How to deal with guilt Pregnancy after loss Our music taste and how it changed after our babies died Whether we'd be friends if we hadn't lost children ... and more!

If you'd rather watch this live instead of listen, you can do that here!

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Dr. Laura Arling is a Washington, DC-based pediatrician and mom of 3, including her first son, Remy, who died of a rare heart-related condition in his first year of life. She has built a practice around taking care of "rainbow baby* families" -- those who are parenting living children and have also experienced the death of at least one child.

In this episode, we talk to her about the unique considerations she takes into account when treating the children of traumatized parents, and we ask the following questions, among others:

How do you reassure parents who are behaving "irrationally" but rationally, given their background? What do you do when typical medical guidance and pediatric guidelines do not align with the needs of a particular family and their situation? Do you have any advice for supporting siblings after loss or for the parents parenting rainbow babies? How do you cope with taking care of "normal" (non-bereaved, overall healthy) families when you have had a medically complex child who eventually died?

Finally, we know that many of you listening are not SIDS parents but worry about SIDS. We ask Dr. Arling directly for guidance for parents of alive infants so that they can prevent SIDS to the best of their ability. We are so grateful she agreed to come on the podcast!

*We knew when we released this episode that "Rainbow Baby" is a controversial term, but we learned from our Instagram community that some actually find it offensive. We are leaving the episode title as is since it's the simplest way to encapsulate Dr. Arling's pediatric specialty, but please know that we don't think of any of your loved and lost babies as "storms." We'd encourage you to listen to the episode anyway, despite the title, and we do actually address the controversy of the term in the episode. Sending love to all of you! Xo, Alina and Judith.

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

Laura's Washington Post article about breast milk donation Alina's Bummer Award

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

2023: You better not be as f***** up as our internet horoscopes suggest! Listen to this episode to hear what is allegedly in store for us next year. Are you as scared as we are? We reject these horoscopes and have decided to move forward with ease into the next year. 

2022... thank you, next!

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Happier New Year: last year's new year episode, where we talk 2021 and 2022 horoscopes

- Judith's 2022 and 2023 yearly horoscopes! (Sagittarius)

- Alina's 2022 and 2023 yearly horoscopes! (Capricorn)

- Cafe Astrology horoscopes -- the ones that are slightly less terrifying

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

We get by with a little help from our friends, and now you can too!

This is an episode designed for you -- a grieving person -- to share with your friends, so that they can learn how to support you better. We recap all of the tips, tricks, and lessons learned from our friends who graciously joined us on the podcast over the past few weeks, and we have also included a little glossary of other episodes of our podcast that would be helpful for grief supporters (links below).

If you are the friend of a grieving person and you've arrived here... congratulations! You are a good friend. Either you found this on your own (wow!) or your grieving person wants to involve you in their life, as difficult as it is right now. We are honored to have you, and we validate your experience and know it is hard for you too. We hope you find this helpful.

:::

The Friendship Series!

Julia: The One Where Judith's Friendship Changed Leah: The One Where Alina Needed Help Rachel: The One Where Judith Apologizes Julia: The One Where Everyone Did the Best They Could Miriam: The One With a Friend Who Showed up

:::

Other helpful episodes for friends of grievers:

I Can't Imagine (what to say, what not to say) Gift Guide for Grievers (gifts and grief support tips) The Grief Button (visualizations of what grief feels like) Little Triggers Everywhere (what triggers are and how to avoid them) Wonder Woman (more on what not to say and why) Perfectly Normal (side effects of grief)

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

There's only a few people in the world you can ask to help edit your dead son's eulogy. For Judith, this person is Miriam.

Their friendship was based on first boyfriends, late-night movies, and sneaking into hotel pools. Fifteen years later, life looks really different, but they're still just as close. Miriam found a way to help Judith carry Aiden's loss even though she never met him in person and this episode is a look at what it looks like when a friend gets it right.

:::

Other episodes in the Friendship Series!

Julia: The One Where Judith's Friendship Changed Leah: The One Where Alina Needed Help Rachel: The One Where Judith Apologizes Julia: The One Where Everyone Did the Best They Could

:::

Things we talk about in this episode:

- Rainbow Rings

- Grief Needs a Witness, an Interview with Dr. Denise Mandel | ALAIL

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

The first thing Judith and Alina bonded over was the fact that they both had pregnant friends named Julia. A few weeks ago, you met "Judith's Julia" and today, we introduce you to "Alina's Julia" in the continuation of our friendships after loss series!

Alina and Julia met a decade ago through Kaylee, who you all know as Quinn's other parent. They spent their twenties in deep conversation and big feelings, and for a while they were on the same track, marrying in 2017 and getting pregnant in 2020. Then... when Julia was 4.5 months pregnant with her first child, Alina's first child died and her marriage ended.

The conversation in this episode is a raw, honest, and unflinching look at what deep friendship looks like after loss. Alina and Julia have not been able to be as close as they used to be, as their life circumstances and mental health issues trigger each other, but the love between them has not gone away (not even close). We hope that this episode is validating to the experience of loss parents and friends of loss parents alike. We are all doing the best we can.

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Other episodes in the Friendship Series!

Julia: The One Where Judith's Friendship Changed Leah: The One Where Alina Needed Help Rachel: The One Where Judith Apologizes Miriam: The One With a Friend Who Showed up

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Just popping in with a reminder that no matter how much time has passed, our babies are still dead.

Today is Aiden's birthday, so please send all the love you can spare to Judith and to Aiden in the stars. 

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Have you ever considered seeking the services of a medium to connect with your baby after they died? Judith has! In fact, she booked this session in November... 2021. She has been trying to meet with this guy for over a year, and the moment has finally arrived!

Did Aiden speak to Judith through the medium? Did we learn anything about his death? Are Aiden and Quinn friends in the stars? Listen to find out! 

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To join in our fundraiser visit www.buymeacoffee/alailpodcast. 

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

::: 

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Hello hello from Judith and Alina, your As Long As I'm Living podcast hosts.

We've been doing this podcast for a whole year now, and we LOVE it. L-O-V-E. It is truly a joy to bring you a new episode each week. That said, we are in this for the long haul, and we are realizing that we need to upgrade our recording equipment and editing platform. Will you help us?

We are trying to put together $500. This will cover a year's worth of 2 things:

1. The pro version of the recording studio we use for our episodes. This will allow us to record separate tracks, which will hopefully eliminate the talking-over-each-other situation that is... honestly it is just a staple of As Long As I'm Living podcast at this point, but shouldn't be! There are also some other cool features that we're excited about, but the separate tracks is the big win.

2. The pro version of the audio editing tool that Alina uses to produce the episodes. This will drastically speed up her editing time, and the easier it is for Alina to edit, the longer we will be able to keep this podcast in the realm of "hobby" instead of "chore."

You can click the link below to make a contribution to As Long As I'm Living podcast:

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast

THANK YOU for even considering this ask. If a financial contribution is not an option for you at this time, fear not, there are other ways for you to support us!

First of all, please join us on Instagram! We have a thriving community over there, and we so enjoy engaging with podcast listeners in a more "two-sided" way. If you don't follow us over there already, hop on over to @aslongasimlivingpodcast and give us a follow!

Lastly, we would so appreciate if you would leave us a rating and review on whichever platform you use to listen to podcasts. That could be Apple podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify... it doesn't matter! Any and all good reviews on any and all platforms will help us get into the ears of more loss parents, which is our main goal.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! There will be a regular episode tomorrow. 

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

What you'll hear in this episode is a gut-wrenchingly honest conversation between Judith and her friend Rachel, who she hurt deeply after Aiden's death. We are guessing this will sound familiar to grievers and grief supporters alike. Rachel was not able to be there in the way Judith needed, and so Judith disappeared -- completely. 

Grievers are jerks. It's just the truth! When you are going through the most excruciating pain and you are spending all of your energy on breathing minute to minute, you are likely not able to be the best, most communicative friend. We are so grateful to Rachel for not only hanging in there with Judith, but also for coming onto the podcast and sharing this raw portrait of friendship after loss.

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Other episodes in the Friendship Series!

Julia: The One Where Judith's Friendship Changed Leah: The One Where Alina Needed Help Julia: The One Where Everyone Did the Best They Could Miriam: The One With a Friend Who Showed up

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

'Tis the season... for losing our ever-loving minds. Listen to hear our tips for surviving major holidays and what our plans are/were for this season.

We include tips for those of you who have decided to skip the holidays this year (what does that even mean??), folks who want to celebrate but need to set boundaries with themselves and their families, and people who will be participating in religious traditions. We hope this helps some of you navigate what can be the trickiest time of year.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Wishing You a Tolerable Thanksgiving | As Long As I'm Living

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Meet Leah, a.k.a. Zia Leah (Aunt Leah), Alina's friend of 13 years. Alina and Leah met their freshman year of college, and they spent the following decade in various levels of connection but always in touch and with so much love. After Quinn's sudden death, Leah SHOWED UP for Alina in a way that many people couldn't. Listen to hear how she experienced the loss and what it feels to be the friend that someone is relying on so heavily.

This is the second episode in a series we are doing talking about how friendships change after loss.

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Other episodes in the Friendship Series!

Julia: The One Where Judith's Friendship Changed Rachel: The One Where Judith Apologizes Julia: The One Where Everyone Did the Best They Could Miriam: The One With a Friend Who Showed up

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Blown Away (Netflix)

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Today's episode is the first in a new series talking about how friendships change after loss.

Meet Julia, Judith's friend of 8 years. Judith and Julia's lives were always on the same track, personally and professionally, until Aiden's sudden death in March 2021 when Julia was newly pregnant with her first child, a son. Listen to hear how their friendship has evolved in the 1.5 years since Aiden died and where they think their friendship will go next.

:::

Other episodes in the Friendship Series!

Leah: The One Where Alina Needed Help Rachel: The One Where Judith Apologizes Julia: The One Where Everyone Did the Best They Could Miriam: The One With a Friend Who Showed up

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Mothering a Grieving Mother, Interviews with our Moms | As Long As I'm Living

- The Bottom | As Long As I'm Living

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

On November 4th, 2021, we released the very first episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast, just 3 days after the idea popped into our heads. Which means... drumroll... it's our anniversary week! 

In this episode, we talk about the state of the podcast: what do we love about it, who works on which parts of it behind the scenes, how has life and our friendship changed since starting it, what is our exit plan, and so much more.

THANK YOU to all of our listeners. We are so honored that you choose to spend some of your time each week with our voices in your ears.

xo,

Judith and Alina

:::

Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

Hello! We are behind... very behind. Our mental health has been suffering recently due to medical stuff (Alina) and an interminable series of high holidays (Judith), but what is a Monday morning without a new episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast!?

Please enjoy some audio that we've held onto from past interviews for just such an occasion. In this episode, you'll hear the following:

Jenn Su (Aeron's mom) talking about how most of the things people say to an early griever intending to provide comfort don't really land the way they're expecting. Katie Joy Duke (Poppy's mom) talking about her experience with compounding trauma after a recent cancer diagnosis.  Emy Collins (Bash's mom) talking about how making room for grief gets harder the further away you get from your loss.  The Sad Dads (Rob, Lila's Dad; Chris, Izzy's Dad; and Jay, Bella's Dad) joking about one of the most ridiculous questions people of child-bearing years face -- "Are you trying?" -- which of course particularly painful if you're facing infertility or have experienced a loss. 

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Answers and Questions | As Long As I'm Living

- Nora McInerny (@noraborealis) and Terrible, Thanks For Asking (@ttfapodcast)

- Bad Vibes Only and Nora's other books

- Sad Nora and the Secret Baby | Terrible, Thanks for Asking

- Aeron's Foundation website and Instagram

-I Can't Imagine | ALAIL

- There Is No Moving On, an Interview with Jennifer Su, Aeron's Mom | ALAIL

- Still Breathing book, Katie Joy Duke (@katiejoyduke)

- Still Breathing, an Interview with Katie Joy Duke | ALAIL

- Empty Arms website

- Empty Arms, an Interview with Carol McMurrich | ALAIL

- TFMR is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill | ALAIL

- Calamity, an Interview about Race and Infant Loss with Emy Collins, Bash's Mom | ALAIL

- Sad Dads Club website

- The Sad Dads Club | ALAIL

- Father's Day Wishes from the Sad Dads | ALAIL

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

It's Spooky Season, and we're talking about Halloween decorations. Is everyone else in awe of the ridiculous amount of privilege on display each October in their neighborhood? Some of us have actually held our own child's dead body, and we have some strong words for these insensitive neighbors. (Including an open letter to a particularly offensive decorator in Judith's old neighborhood in L.A.)

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

In this episode, Alina and Judith talk self care. Not massages, manicures, and 5ks, but the simple things you can do on the days when you're not well. Go drink water!

If you don't have a lot of time in your life for self care right now, this episode is still for you; Judith feels the same.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Loved Momma Fitness: Instagram, website, Recovery After Loss program

- Wonder Woman | As Long As I'm Living

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support