Curious Fox

What are some of the most common pitfalls when couples are opening up? Which conversations are essential when discussion non monoamy? What are some of the common myths when it comes to open relationships? And what about jealousy? Open relationships have a unique set of challenges and it’s often hard to know how to resolve them as open relationships have no specific roadmap. In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore some of the common #PolyProblems that people face and share ...

In a world where discussions about sexuality often default to a heteronormative framework, what insights can we gain when we shift our focus to a queer perspective? How does queer sex challenge and expand our understanding of pleasure, consent, and sexual expression? What can individuals of all genders and orientations learn from queer sexuality?In this week’s episode, Effy welcomes back sex educator and author Allison Moon for a thought-provoking conversation where they explore the inherentl...

How can parents and caregivers create a safe and open environment where young individuals navigating their own identities feel comfortable exploring and expressing their evolving identities? What are the most common misconceptions or misunderstandings that parents and caregivers have about supporting queer, trans, and non-binary young people? How can they overcome these barriers to offer genuine support? What actionable steps can educators and community leaders take to ensure that queer, tran...

In the intricate dance of relationships, what happens when our desires diverge from those of our partners? What common patterns emerge when partners want differently? And how can we skillfully bridge these gaps without losing ourselves in the process?In this episode, Effy invites Dr. Joli Hamilton back on the show for a candid conversation about the complexities of mismatched desires. Together, they dissect the root causes of these disparities, offer insights on managing them in both fledglin...

What relationship fears lurk in the shadows of our minds, sending chills down our spines? Can the art of storytelling serve as both an outlet for our deepest relationship anxieties and a means of processing them? Might the eerie embrace of Halloween be the unlikely balm to soothe these fears?In this special Halloween episode, Effy and Jacqueline delve into the anatomy of fear and go for a chilling foray into the Haunted House of relationship horrors once again. This time crafted with the brav...

How deeply does our perception of safety influence our behavior in relationships? What internal shifts transpire within our nervous system when we oscillate between feelings of security and threat? And, how can we nurture an environment that fosters safety and wellbeing?In the third installment of our four-part series on trauma, we revisit a poignant episode where Effy and Jacqueline engage in an insightful discussion with Rida Kirasi, a sound healing therapist, meditation facilitator, and So...

How might we challenge and expand upon the established medical definitions of trauma? Can our understanding of healing evolve to encompass not just the alleviation of symptoms but also the reclamation of joy and pleasure? What are the recent shifts in utilizing psychedelics as tools for trauma treatment?In this episode, Effy sits down with Dee Dee Goldpaugh, a psychotherapist, educator, author, activist, and the Clinical Director of Chrysalis Integrative Psychotherapy. Together, they embark o...

How do we navigate the multifaceted nature of trauma beyond the often reductive parameters set by the medical system? How is memory formation and storage impacted by trauma and how does that impact the trauma experience? Can our journey towards healing be supported by those other than professionals? In this episode, Effy talks with trauma researcher and author, Dr. MaryCatherine "MC" McDonald, whose book, "Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong And Other Things You Need to Know to...

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline talk about some scary stories and beliefs they hold about relationships, share how these stories can manifest and how they can get in the way of connection and intimacy in their relationships. They reflect back on a previous Halloween episode where they approached these stories with creativity and humor and invite the listeners to try this approach. Recommended episodes:Ep 88 - Creative Take on Talking About Sex with Jennifer BemanEp 120 - Queer Pleasure, ...

What exactly is connection, and what happens when we encounter disconnection in our relationships? Is there any value in temporary disconnection? How can we improve our tolerance to disconnection?In this week's episode, Effy and Jacqueline delve deep into the intricate dynamics of connection and disconnection within relationships. Effy and Jacqueline unravel the multifaceted aspects of disconnection, shedding light on its causes and manifestations. They candidly explore the potential benefits...

What impact does a significant age gap between partners have on relationships? Are there common misconceptions surrounding women dating considerably younger men? Does age alone determine affinity, and should we limit ourselves to dating within our age groupIn this episode, Effy engages in a candid conversation with author and ageism activist, Ashton Applewhite. Together, they explore the profound effects of ageism on our perceptions of larger age gaps in relationships. Effy shares her persona...

How often have you second-guessed a decision, wondering if the other option would have spared you the heartache? How do we navigate life's dilemmas when every path seems to have its own set of thorns? Can we ever truly escape the consequences of our choices, or is it about finding peace in the decisions we make?Effy and Jacqueline return from their break, diving deep into the often overlooked aspect of decision-making: the inevitable challenges that accompany every choice. They candidly share...

Why do we react in ways that seem counterproductive or self-defeating? Are our minds made up of distinct "parts" that influence our behavior? How can we understand and integrate these internal parts to create personal growth and harmony?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore “parts work” and share their personal therapeutic journeys understanding, regulating, and befriending their parts. They discuss the benefits of developing "parts" from past experiences to help us navigate and respon...

We are curious: How can we explore mismatched kinks with our partners? How do we find common ground and understand where the resistance is without creating pressure or being coercive? And what can be done if there's no common ground? In this episode, Effy enlists the expertise of a seasoned pro Dom, kink educator and a longtime foxy friend of the show Miss Shayla. Together, they embark on a candid conversation, delving into the intricacies of navigating mismatched kinks with partners. Effy an...

What does it mean to be a highly sensitive person (HSP)? How does high sensitivity differ between individuals socialized as men versus women? What are the unique advantages and obstacles faced by highly sensitive men in their relationships and daily lives? In this episode, Effy and cognitive behavioral psychotherapist and author of "The Highly Sensitive Man" Tom Falkenstein take a deep dive into the core characteristics of high sensitivity and examine how societal expectations and gender...

What happens when you discover your sexual orientation later in life? How can you embrace a new identity when you have already established one? What does it mean to be queer?In this revisited oldie, Jacqueline goes galavanting through the NY lesbian bar scene for her birthday with her partner, making up for some classic lesbian experiences that she never got to have. Effy and Jacqueline celebrate Pride month by exploring experiences of coming out later in life, discuss what it means to be que...

How can wedding ceremonies be updated to honor queer and polyamorous relationships? What can we do to celebrate a relationship when marriage and a wedding is not an option? What would it be like to celebrate an uncoupling, or the end of a relationship?Just in time for wedding season, Effy and Jacqueline revisit their conversation with queer wedding planner Ambyr D'Amato to challenge the idea that only certain types of relationships deserve to be celebrated with a ceremony. They discuss ways t...

What exactly is a "hookup"? How can we create hot, healthy, shame free hookups? Is there such a thing as good etiquette for casual sex?In this week’s episode, Effy is joined by sex educator and author Allison Moon to discuss casual sex. They discuss hookup culture and how we can and should “be excellent to each other” as members of a sexual community. Effy and Allison consider how our approach to casual sex partners can be a reflection of our humanity and what we can do as “sexual citizens” t...

Why is it that when we feel comfy and settled, we suddenly long for passion and freedom? And conversely, why do a string of spontaneous adventures have us longing for stability? Is it possible for us to be both planted and to fly?Jacqueline revisits a conversation with Effy about how to balance the comfort of being rooted and settled with the desire for variety and passion. They share their tips for how to assess what you are craving and figure out how to deal with the discomfort and fill the...

How important is compartmentalization when you are in multiple relationships? Can we go too far with "don't ask, don't tell"? Are there consequences to keeping parts of our lives separate?In this week's episode, we take a trip into the multiple worlds within Jacqueline's mind and explore the reasons for compartmentalization and integration. Effy and Jacqueline examine why we separate some of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, particularly within open relationships; and reveal how too much...

How can relationship structures evolve over time? How can we thrive as our relationships change? What are some essential communication tools that can support our relationships and those in it? In this week’s episode Effy is joined by fellow podcasters Dedeker, Emily and Jase of Multiamory. Dedeker, Emily and Jase share how their relationship evolved from a quad to a long term triad to now a whole other structure and reflect on highs and lows of each phase of their relationship. Effy, De...

What is Yoni gazing? Why would you want to look “down there”? How do you ask your partner to help?This week Effy is joined by long time friend of the Fox, sex and pleasure coach, Jocelyn Silva to talk about Yoni gazing. They discuss how simple yet powerful it is to intentionally look at your vulva with a mirror, and Jocelyn shares a Yoni gazing ceremony where you can connect with your vulva and nurture a relationship with this important and divide part of your body. To learn more about J...

What is intersectional polyamory and how to find meaningful representation in the community? What is the impact of prescribed cultural identity on our relationships? How can we find and connect with online communities for support? In honor of Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian to discuss how different parts of our identity impact the way we practice non-monogamy, how representation matters within polyamory, and the i...

Can masturbation be an act of self care and political subversion? What are all the benefits of masturbation? If there are so many benefits of masturbation, why don’t we do it more? In this week’s episode Effy and Jacqueline have a lighthearted and wisdom packed conversation about masturbation in honor of Masturbation Month. They share their personal practices, beliefs and stories about self pleasure; explore the myths, social and religious conditioning about it, and put out a plea for a ...

What is the sexual Shadow? How does it affect our individual and collective sexual expression? What are some of the ways we can get to know our Shadow material and work towards integrating it?In this week’s episode Effy explores the crossroads of Jungian psychology and sex with Dr Joli Hamilton. They take a deep dive into the sexual Shadow, the repressed, the unwanted aspects of sexuality. They discuss how — if it goes unexplored and unprocessed — this material impacts our collective and indi...

In a hypersexualized society, what is it like to be asexual? Do asexual folks have sex? Can asexuality be an important factor for female sexual liberation?In honor of International Asexuality Day (April 6th), we revisit a conversation between Effy, Jacqueline, and journalist, editor, and the author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, Angela Chen. The three talk about the asexuality spectrum, its role in identity politics, and why Angela’s book helps ...

What are the systemic factors that support rape culture? Why is it difficult for sexual assault survivors to find their voice? What does a journey towards healing look like?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Danijela Steinfeld, a Serbian-born award-winning actress and filmmaker who is the director and producer of the documentary film Hold Me Right. The film explores the traumatic aftermath and healing process for survivors and perpetrators of sexual violence. Danijela shares t...

Is there Biblical scripture that condones or encourages sexual exploration? Why would God design bodies that experience pleasure if we are not supposed to pursue pleasure? Can faith and sexuality coexist?In this episode, Jacqueline resurrects a conversation she had with Effy and De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar. They embark on an Easter egg hunt to find passages and scriptures in the Bible that talk about sex - not as a vehicle to hell, but as a beautiful, sensual, expression of joy and connection (m...

Why are people into dirty talk? What are different types of dirty talk? How can we start experimenting with verbally expressing our hottest thoughts and desires? In this episode, Effy invites Jocelyn Silva to discuss the ins and outs of dirty talk. They explore why people are into it, appreciate different types and share some solid tips on how to get started. To learn more about JocelynJocelyn Silva is a bisexual polyamorous Sexual Empowerment Coach, Sex Educator, First Generation Latin...

How can you find the right doctor? What should you ask during your appointment? How can you pleasurably and safely explore anal play? What is unique about sexual health within the gay and queer community? And what is a butt clock?Erectile dysfunction, STIs, vaccinations, and safe anal play are important conversations for men – particularly queer men – to have with their doctor’s and partners. However sometimes the most important conversations are also the most difficult ones. In this episode,...

Can psychedelics be more than a party drug? How are they used in therapy and why are they so effective? What does it take to get into a psychedelic treatment program? Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Community Support and Integration Director of the Hudson Valley Psychedelic Society, psychotherapist and clinical supervisor Dee Dee Goldpaugh to discuss her work with psychedelics and their effective use in treating and healing trauma psycho-chemically as well as spiritually. More about De...

What’s kink and bdsm? How can we start a conversation with our partner(s) about exploring different sexual expressions? How can kink be a healing modality?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Rena Martine to talk about how to explore the taboo in a healthy way. They discuss how kink can be therapeutic and share some resources on how to get started.Mentioned in this episode:BDSMTest.orgLina Dune - Ask a Sub - PatreonSex and Psychology PodcastBooks:Tell Me What You WantReclaiming ...

How do you break out from societal norms? What does it take to design a relationship that we can thrive in? What happens when you open your mind to all the possibilities? In this week’s episode, we bring you another installment of Fox Tales: stories of people who are living, loving and connecting in unique ways. Jacqueline balances a life with her daughter, her wife, and her partner living between two homes. Jacqueline tells the story of how she went from a hetero-mono-normative marriage...

Are periods simply a burden for women to bear? Can menstruation education cause systemic change for the better in women's welfare? What are the implications of women revitalizing menstrual practices on society and the earth? In this special episode, Effy talks to the co-founder of EcoFemme Kathy Walkling about how rethinking menstruation and menstruation education can cause radical social change in women’s welfare. Kathy explains EcoFemme’s approach to menstruation that is healthy, envir...

What is couple privilege? How does it differ from hierarchy in relationships? How does it affect relationships? How can we design our relationships with privilege and hierarchy in mind? In this revised episode, Effy and Jacqueline reflect on couple privilege and hierarchy in relationships on Valentine’s Day when these dynamics can really be accentuated and exasperated. They share suggestions on how to elevate our relationships beyond these limitations and nurture ethical connections across al...

What is sexual morality? How do we decide what is right and wrong when it comes to sex? Is it universal or does it change across cultures? How does moralizing sexuality affect our individual sexual expression and our views on sex as a society?In this week’s episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore sexual morality with insights from Dr. Kelly Asao who is a professor of psychology at Westminster College in Salt Lake City. Dr. Asao teaches classes on human sexuality and conducts research on the inte...

What is borderline personality disorder and what causes it? How does it affect familial and romantic relationships? What does treatment look like? What can people with loved ones who have BPD do?On this week’s episode Effy and Jacqueline take on one of the most elusive mental health struggles that predominantly show up in the relational context with the help of psychiatrist and the author of I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality and Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living...

What is masochism and why do people engage in it? What is the difference between consenting to pain as a means to an end/ byproduct of an activity (e.g., ballerinas and competitive eaters) vs. pain on purpose? What are the benefits and the costs to pain as pleasure? What does masochism have to say about the human experience?In this week’s episode, Effy and Jacqueline take a deep dive into pain for pleasure with science reporter, noted masochist and the author of Hurts So Good, Leigh Cowart. L...

Why is understanding our uniqueness important to having great sex? What is the dual control model in the context of sexuality and how does it affect our desire? What steps can we take to develop a healthy relationship with sex and sexuality after experiencing trauma or sex negative conditioning?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline have a rich conversation with Dr. Emily Nagoski about how the societal scripts we are handed according to our sex-at-birth impact our sexual expression and how thes...

What is Big Dick Energy (BDE)? What is the difference between having a big dick, being a big dick, and having big dick energy? Can BDE change the way we think of our lives and societies?In this final episode of the year, Effy and Jacqueline talk about the concept of Big Dick Energy, what it means to embody it, and its potential to disrupt the patriarchy. They parse apart strap-on usage and penis envy to extract their foxy new year wishes. They round off the year with a frustration-fueled Soap...

What is sex therapy and how is it different from other forms of therapy? What are some common concerns explored through sex therapy? What should you expect from a sex therapist and sessions alone or with partner(s)?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with nationally recognized sex therapist and the author of She Comes First and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, Dr. Ian Kerner. They discuss the advantages of sex therapy for those who are looking to address struggles around erot...

How does jealousy show up in non-monogamous relationships? What are some key factors that might challenge and even change our attitude towards jealousy? How can we embrace, process and learn from our jealousy? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Dr. Joli Hamilton to talk about her research on jealousy specifically with non-monogamous relationships in mind. Dr. Hamilton sums up her research with a quote from Maya Angelou, “Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can e...

What is compersion? What are the factors that promote compersion and the factors that hinder it? Does it have a place outside of non-monogamy.In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with Dr. Marie Thouin about her research on compersion. Dr. Thouin shares the factors that promote or get in the way of nurturing compersion. Effy and Jacqueline reflect on their personal journeys with compersion, and share the highs and lows of trying to embody this most elusive feeling.Free Session for Curious...

What does research say about the orgasm gap between men and women? Why do women report a significant drop in sexual pleasure when men enter the equation? Why is it important for us to have orgasm equality and what can we do collectively to close the gap? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Grace Wetzel to explore how our gendered experiences shape our sexual experiences. They look at research, which indicates that bi and straight women have the least amount of orgas...

Why does the overturning of Roe v Wade impact same-sex marriage in the U.S.? What can same-sex couples, non-married couples, polyamorous families, triads/quads, and platonic co-parents do to protect their rights? What can we do, on a system-wide level, to protect and expand the rights of all non-nuclear families and non-traditional relationship constructs? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak with LGBTQ rights lawyer and advocate, Diana Adams, about the very real concerns non-tradi...

What is the distinction between talking with children about their bodies, about sexuality, and about sex? And why is it important to talk about each? What are some barriers for adults to have these conversations with the children in their lives? How can we ensure that our conversations about sex are age appropriate…and what does “age appropriate” mean anyway?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with children’s non-fiction author Cory Silverberg about having expansive conversations with c...

What happens to a relationship after there is betrayal? Is it possible to rebuild after trust is destroyed? Can infidelity exist within a non-monogamous relationship? In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline take a deeper dive into Jacqueline's story of surviving what felt like an earthquake when she discovered some shocking information about her wife.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemis...

Are outbursts, a chronic lack of trust, and an unpredictable fluctuation between avoidant and anxious behavior a sign of disorganized attachment? What is disorganized attachment? How does it affect relationships? Why don’t we hear more about this attachment style? Can we move from disorganized attachment to secure attachment?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist - and self proclaimed attachment nerd - Julie Menanno, to explore the least ment...

What are the core tenants of Islam and the Qur'an and how do they apply to sexuality? What is the significance of the hijab (headscarf)? What would it take for Islam to have a sexual revolution? On this many-months-in-the-making episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak with female Imam, human rights lawyer, and the author of the book Islam Needs a Sexual Revolution, Seyran Ateş about Islam and sexuality. They dive into the history of the religion; discuss the perception of women within the Mus...

What nuances are missing from our understanding of consent? How does racism play a role in our conversations about consent? How can we have radically inclusive education about sex and consent? Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Lydia Collins to talk about consent education, bodily autonomy within the context of race, and the difference between having a type and objectifying or fetishising someone. They explore the missing components of our current consent education and the ways in which w...

How can feminism expand to make room for and even celebrate intersectionality? What is the role of joy in identity formation? How can we build communities that see and hold all of who we are?Effy and Jacqueline hang out with “Juliet Takes a Breath” author Gabby Rivera to talk about drawing from the collective wisdom of feminism and sex-positivity to create QTBIPOC spaces that prioritize representation and intersectionality. They explore the power of joy, language and storytelling in the const...

What is the Madonna-whore complex? Why has this caricature pit women against each other? How can we disrupt the good girl/ bad girl narrative that impacts the way we see and are seen?Inspired by a story shared by our Assistant Producer, Effy and Jacqueline unpack why some men don’t feel like they can get freaky with their girlfriends/fiancés/wives, and instead seek out adventurous or kinky sex with other women. They discuss how media and art perpetuate the binary way that men see women, women...

How does our upbringing and early childhood experiences affect our mate selection? Do we need to be “healed” to find a healthy relationship? Can the relationships we struggle in the most be places where we can heal and grow? Can trauma be a bonding experience and how is “trauma bonding” different?Effy and Jacqueline explore the love-at-first-sight myth and try to parse apart the difference between attachment wound activation and attraction (and even arousal) - which can all feel confusingly s...

Why would anyone use sex toys? How do toys enhance the sexual experience? How do you find the right toy and where can you get them? And how do you avoid internal frostbite???Effy and Jacqueline catch up with a long time Friend of the Fox, co-host of Netflix’s Principles of Pleasure, and the creator and host of Sex Ed a Go Go, Dirty Lola, to talk all about sex toys. Self proclaimed dildo swinger, Lola talked through shapes, sizes, materials of classic toys as well as new products on the shelve...

What is sex misinformation and what kind of sex misinformation is out there? Why is it so prevalent? Why is it important to talk about the false sex narritives and what can we do about stopping the spread of this information?Effy and Jacqueline chat with multi-award-winning reporter and the author of Losing It: Sex Education for the 21st Century, Sophia Smith Galer about prevailing sex myths; how to bust those myths through educating ourselves, and what can we do about changing the culture so...

Are there different modes to the same relationships? Can feeling safe, settled and comfy get in the way of passion and the erotic? How do we know what type of connection is available in any given relationship?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are exploring a relationship theory that encourages people to consider different states the same relationship. Rest and reason, flirt and f*ck and disconnection. Inspired by Polyvagal Theory, they look into how we can recognize what state the relation...

We are back with another Fox Tales episode, with stories of lives that challenge the status quo.This week we will hear the story of Bear and Fifi (@bear.n.fifi). A few years into their relationship, after slowly taking down their walls to lean into love and trust, Bear revealed to Fifi that he is transgender and that he wanted to go through the process of transitioning. In this episode, they candidly share the fear, mourning, connection, and surprise that they experience as individuals a...

Is a relationship a success only if it progresses in a socially prescribed sequence of states from dating to till-death-do-us-apart - also known as the relationship escalator? What is solo polyamory and how is it different from good-old-fashion dating? Why does single-by-choice carry so much stigma? Effy and Jacqueline invite journalist and author Amy Gahran to the show to discuss the relationship escalator, what it looks like to get off it or opt out of it in the first place, solo poly...

What does it mean to put effort into relationships? Does one person always show up more than the other? Is relationship maths as simple as 50+50 makes 100%?In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline sit down to work out what is the right maths when it comes to the division of effort that goes into a relationship while comparing parental relationship dynamics to adult romantic relationship dynamics. Not all relationships are created equal, not all effort is valued the same. Support th...

What does scientific research tell us about relationship satisfaction in non-monogamy? What can monogamous folks learn from the research done on non-monogamous relationships? How do monogamy and non-monogamy differ when it comes to relationship satisfaction, mate retention, and conflict resolution? Effy and Jacqueline chat with Dr. Justin Mogilski about his international research on the best and the worst strategies for navigating consensually non-monogamous relationships. Dr. Mog...

As Pride month comes to an end, we were curious: What keeps us from feeling proud of our gender or orientation? How does the politicalization of our gender and orientation impact the way we feel about ourselves? How can we create spaces - within ourselves and within our homes and communities - where our identity as LGBTQ folk can be nurtured? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak with Dr. Ariana Moran and Maxx Fenning about identity formation, internal and external producers of sham...

What does desire have to do with LGBTQ+ liberation? Is there room for eroticism within the fight for equity? Often when we tell or hear queer stories, they are stories of trauma, sadness and hardship. Even happy tales tend to be stories of overcoming obstacles, winning against adversity, healing from hurt. In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak with Dr. Jaime Grant about how stories of pleasure, delight, satisfaction, and discovery are equally effective within the work towards ...

This week we bring you a Pride installment of our new feature, Fox Tales: Stories of lives that challenge the status quo.Tiana Glittersaurus Rex is a Black, queer, kinky, polyamorous woman in New York City. Tiana shares her journey of going from a traditional marriage to a joyful and active member of the kink, poly, and femme dom communities. She has not only discovered her authentic self expression but is dedicated to supporting others to do the same through community, advocacy, and educatio...

Erectile dysfunction, STIs, vaccinations, and safe anal play are important conversations for men – particularly queer men – to have with their doctor’s and partners. However sometimes the most important conversations are also the most difficult ones. In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline celebrate Pride and Men’s Health Month by speaking with the “butt stuff” doctor, Mayo Clinic trained gastroenterologist, Doctor Carlton. How can you find the right doctor? What should you ask during your appoi...

How can queer folks explore the full scope of their attraction if they are in a monogamous relationship? How can we stay within integrity and still tap into our desire to connect with people of different genders?Inspired by a listener question, Effy and Jacqueline kick off pride month by sharing some strategies for how to explore your sexuality, while staying within your relationship agreements.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffybl...

Even though it sounds different why does it feel like we are having the same fight with our partners over and over again? What does it take to change the patterns we fall into when we are amidst an argument? What are some of the common mistakes that lock us into seemingly irreconcilable discourse? This week Effy and Jacqueline do a coaching session to address the argument patterns Jackie and her partner find themselves in over and over again. After a long text exchange in the middle of t...

Why do we say hurtful things to people we love? Why do we make agreements that we can’t or don’t want to keep? Why do we cheat, even when we are mindful of the consequences? Effy and Jacqueline go on a quest to figure out why we step out of integrity in our relationships with others and ourselves and what we can do to prevent those transgressions by exploring the hot-cold empathy gap coined by George Loewenstein, a psychologist and economist at Carnegie Mellon University. They look to th...

All mental health providers are not equal. That doesn't mean good or bad, but simply different training, specialties, and personalities. In this episode, Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla sit down with Dr. Thomas Whitfield to discuss the best way to find a therapist for your sexual and mental health needs. They explore everything from key phrases to google, the distinction between the types of therapies, and some controversial therapeutic methods for addressing sexual trauma. As mentio...

In a world where self-care has become synonymous with warm baths and face masks, how can we truly care for ourselves? Is taking it easy and putting your feet up the best way to support your mental health? How can we find a self-care practice that supports our current mental health needs?In honor of mental health month, Effy and Jaqueline take an intentional deep dive into focus on the most important relationship in our lives - our relationship with ourselves. Mentioned on the episode;&nb...

Threesomes are a great way to explore sexuality and dip your toe into opening up your relationship. But how much of it do you plan and how much of it do you leave to chance? No one ever seems to talk about the uncomfortable parts of setting up a threesome, what makes a threesome good or bad, and what happens afterward? What should you discuss with your partner *before* you get in the sheets with another? More importantly, where is any of this information for that elusive third party?In this e...

Why are date nights so important? What happens when date nights become an obligation or duty? How can we approach date nights with creativity and ensure they are in service of the relationships and those in it? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline discuss how to design-conscious date nights (and days and weekends) that serve different purposes depending on what the relationship might need and share creative ideas and inspiration for all sorts of experiences. As referenced in the epi...

Tantra, which means woven together in Sanskrit, brings the spiritual and sexual together in an experience that deepens connection and intimacy. Though thousands of years old, many have not explored this practice because of myths and misinformation. Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Barbara Carrellas to explore urban tantra, an accessible adaptation of this ancient tradition.To find out more about Barbara: Barbara is the founder of Urban Tantra®, an approach to conscious sexuality that adapts ...

We are going back to our roots with this episode. Curious Fox started in Brooklyn basements, with regular people courageously sharing personal stories of going against the grain in love and connection. This week Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla are introducing Fox Tales: Stories of lives that challenge the status quo. They are bringing you the tale of @lucy.sweetkill, pro Dom and BDSM life coach, and Nick, her partner of 5 years. How they met; what it is like to nurture a relationship whi...

How do you define modern monogamy? What does fidelity mean in the context of monogamy? How do you design a monogamous relationship so that both parties can thrive?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are challenging the idea that monogamous relationships have to be one-size-fits-all. They celebrate those who are choosing to nurture one romantic relationship, take a meaningful look at our understanding of fidelity, and discuss how to identify what values lead to longer-term monogamous relation...

What is conscious uncoupling? How is it different from breaking up? How do you go through the process of uncoupling with intention and kindness? What if the other person does not want to go through this process, can you do it on your own?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are challenging the idea that all relationship transitions end in shouting matches and slamming doors. They take a deep dive into conscious uncoupling and talk about what it takes to exit a relationship with dignity and re...

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are hanging out with the author of Plucked: A History of Hair Removal Prof. Rebecca Herzig to talk about hair removal and sexual self-esteem. They are curious about: What is the history of hair removal and what role have race, gender and age played in it?What caused the medicalization and then industrialization of hair removal and why?How does what we know about hair removal bust the myth of personal choice and individualism in America and expose how ...

As a part of their sexual self-esteem kick, Effy and Jacqueline revisit an episode from the archives where discuss erogenous zones, religion, and their impact on our sexual self-esteem with sexual empowerment coach Jocelyn Silva. Guiding us this week is Jocelyn Silva:Jocelyn Silva is a Sex and Intimacy Coach that works with women and femmes to break through their sexual shame and embrace their sex lives with confidence. With 10 years of experience as a sex educator, Jocelyn's favorite th...

This week Effy and Jacqueline revisit an episode with Jessie Fresh all about aligning with your Erotic Blueprint to nurture your sexual self-esteem. They are curious about: Why is pleasure important?What gets in the way of pleasure & fulfilling sex?How to increase sexual satisfaction?What are Erotic Blueprints and how do they affect our sexual self-esteem? Guiding us this week is Jessie Fresh:Jessie a certified Sex and Relationship Coach who helps women and couples create a dee...

This week Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla are curious about colorism, featurism, and texturism and they are joined by Dr. Donna to chat about:What are colorism, texturism, and featurism? Where does it come from? How does it show up day today?How does it impact sexual self-esteem?How does this impact relationships between people of color?What can we do now that we know this?To guide us in our exploration, our guest this week is Dr. Donna Oriowo:Dr. Donna Oriowo (oreo-whoa!) LICSW, CST, is inter...

This week Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla are curious about couple privilege and hierarchical relationships: What is couple privilege?How does it differ from hierarchy in relationships? How does it affect relationships?How can we design our relationships with privilege and hierarchy in mind? Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfo...

This week Effy and Jacqueline are curious about the purpose of jealousy: What is jealousy? How do you characterize it?What are the evolutionary roots of jealousy? And what purpose does it serve in the emotional portfolio of the human species? What are the distinctions between the biological sexes and jealousy, based on existing research?We are challenging the status quo that jealousy is bad and something that non-monogamous people should not feel. To guide us in our exploration...

This week Effy and Jacqueline are curious about friendships and jealousy: What defines a friendship? What distinguishes a friendship over other relationships? Are female friendships different from male friendships? Is friendship jealousy different from romantic jealousy? We want to challenge the status quo that romantic relationships are more important than friendships and female friendships are ultimately about rivalry and threat. To guide us in our exploration, our guest...

What happens when a traditional ceremony like a wedding honors the queerest of relationships? What are some other ways to celebrate a relationship(s)? What is it like to celebrate a break-up?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline hang out with queer wedding planner Ambyr D'Amato to challenge the status quo that Weddings are the only types of relationship ceremonies Only traditional relationships have and deserve to celebrate with a ceremony We should only celebrate when we merge ...

Is magic and witchcraft for fairy tales? Can magic, witchcraft, and rituals be a way to connect with our bodies and tap into our intuition? Can tarot be used to help us get clarity on the choices we have and the decision we have to make? Effy and Jacqueline hang out with Pleasure Witch Haylin Belay to talk about how magic and tarot can provide a framework for us to get in touch with what we know intuitively. To find more about Haylin Belay, go to his website www.haylin.co or follow her on Ins...

How can a couple in an open relationship deal with a new crush or new relationship energy? How can someone deal with the shame/guilt of exploring a non-traditional relationship or sexual path?How can you figure out if someone is a good match for a kink experience?How to make addressing fears fun?How can I tell my child that I/ we are opening up our relationship? Effy and Jacqueline kick off the year by answering questions from our foxy listeners. Support the showConnect with us...

Effy, Jacqueline, and the Foxy team are taking a break for the holidays. Listen for their holiday wishes and some recommendations on what to listen to while they are away. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How much does evolutionary wiring impact the types of relationships we seek? Does it really come down to nature vs nurture? How much of whom we are attracted to impacted by our ancestors? Is there such a thing as free will? Effy and Jacqueline get nerdy with evolutionary psychologist Dr. Adar Eisenbruch - whose research centers around cooperation, friendship, and behavioral endocrinology - to talk about how much of our relational choices are contemporary and how much is written deep into our ...

What does it mean to put effort into relationships? Does one person always show up more than the other? Is relationship maths is as simple as 50+50 makes 100%? Effy and Jacqueline sit down to work out what is the right maths when it comes to the division of effort that goes into a relationship while comparing parental relationship dynamics to adult romantic relationship dynamics. Not all relationships are created equal. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fo...

No matter your gender, orientation, or relationship construct, everyone has a butt. Booty play can be a subversive and fun addition to your sexfolio. Effy and Jacqueline chat with sex educator and pro-domme Lola Jean to get into the whats, hows, and whys of pegging. From tops and bottoms, to toys and hygiene, they go through the ins and outs (pun intended) of backdoor play. Here are the links promised: Effy’s fave harness: Spareparts Joque HarnessLola’s toy suggestion: Perfect Fit T...

When society and cultures pack so much meaning to certain times of the year, what does it look like for those who have multiple relationships? When a simple premise of "spending the holidays with loved ones" seems not so simple, how do avoid putting your relationship(s) on trial?In this throwback episode, Effy and Jackie talk about ways to navigate holidays when you are managing multiple relationships in your life. They share tips on how to schedule, have conversations, and make sure everyone...

How does our sense of safety affect the way we show up in relationships? What happens in our nervous system when we feel safe vs unsafe? What can we do to promote a sense of safety?Effy and Jackie hang with sound healing therapist, meditation facilitator, and Somatic Experiencing practitioner Rida Kıraşı to talk about how we can heal trauma, cultivate a sense of safety, and learn to regulate our emotions through the soma with the use of sound, breath, meditation and embodiment practices. To l...

Is it ok to be in a relationship when you are chronically dissatisfied if there are no arguments? Why do people end up staying in relationships that are not making them happy? What do we need to make us pull the plug on lifeless relationships? Effy and Jacqueline jump on the airwaves to challenge the idea that passivity is the same as peace. They discuss what Esther Perel calls stable ambiguity or what Effy calls relationship purgatory where people remain in a holding pattern in relation...

Can psychedelics be more than a party drug? How are they used in therapy and why are they so effective? What does it take to get into a psychedelic treatment program? Effy and Jackie are joined by the Community Support and Integration Director of the Hudson Valley Psychedelic Society, psychotherapist, and clinical supervisor Dee Dee Goldpaugh to discuss their work with psychedelics and their effective use in treating and healing trauma psycho-chemically as well as spiritually. To l...

In this Halloween Special episode, Effy and Jacqueline create a house of horrors made up of their relationship fears. From negative body image to feeling stuck on a relationship escalator, they imagine a terrifying room after a terrifying room of the gruesomest, the creepiest, and the most disturbing contraptions that represent their deepest dreads. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla ...

Why is talking about sex so hard? How can we use creativity to approach these conversations so we don’t have to navigate through shame, defensiveness, insecurity, and general awkwardness? Can talking about sex creatively result in more interesting sex life?Effy and Jackie sit down with Jennifer Beman to discuss her work, the Graphic Sex Project where Jennifer offers a simple and creative methodology that helps people tell the story of their sexuality. They discuss how this approach cuts throu...

Let’s talk about “Daddy.” Why is it a hot turn-on for some and abhorrent for others? What does the “Daddy role” embody within a power exchange? Effy and Jacqueline are joined by professional and lifestyle dominatrix, BDSM educator, kinky life coach, Mistress Lucy Sweetkill, as they challenge the notion that “Daddy” is only for those with daddy issues. To learn more about Lucy Sweetkill, follow her on Instagram @lucy.sweetkill, or via her website: lucysweetkill.comSupport the showConnect with ...

Can sex work be a viable alternative for those who want to open up an existing relationship because they are looking for a specific sexual experience? How do you safely and ethically connect with a sex worker who’s not trafficked or coerced? What is the best way to determine if someone is the right person to work with? Effy and Jacqueline are joined by pro-domme, kink educator and owner of Chez-La, Miss Shayla to discuss what sex work is and what it is like to work with a sex worker, th...

What is intersectional polyamory and how to find meaningful representation in the community? What is the impact of prescribed cultural identity on our relationships? How can we find and connect with online communities for support? Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian to discuss how different parts of our identity impact the way we practice non-monogamy, how representation matters within polyamory, and the importance and the risks of online communities....

What are the differences between rules and agreements and why does it matter? How do you go about figuring out what agreements will support us to thrive in relationships? Can there be room for delight and playfulness as you co-create agreements for your relationship(s)?On this week’s show Effy and Jackie were joined by Eri Kardos, the author of Relationship Agreements: A Simple and Effective Guide for Strengthening Communication, Reducing Conflict, and Increasing Intimacy to Design Your Ideal...