Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Extra content note: grief, suicide, terminal illness, abuse, bereavement

In the final full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to counselor and psychotherapist Karen Pollock MBACP about grief and death. This is an episode about ways of thinking (and feeling) about bereavement, therapeutic approaches to change and loss, how the systems and attitudes around and inside us effect the ways we deal with difficult things, and so much more. It is the only episode of the show that doesn't feature my dad's voice but he is very present in the conversation. Karen on twitter Counselling in Northumberland Non-Binary Lives: An Anthology of Intersecting Identities The Messiness of Grief| Opening the door to difficult conversations Death and second chances Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Additional content note: euthanasia/suicide But no matter what he forgets, it can’t take away the love we have shared, that existed, and will always have existed, even when he has forgotten it; even when he is no longer alive to remember it; even when I have forgotten it; even when I am no longer alive to remember it. It happened. And that has to be enough.

This episode is about movement, memory, change, time, distance, tears, connection, therapy, sadness, love, grief and everything else that can come in waves.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Extra content note: bereavement, pain, terminal illness (including cancer) and the caste systemIn the seventh full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to Khyati Tripathi about studying death. This is an episode about understanding and navigating mortality and creating spaces where we can talk about difficult and taboo topics.

Khyati on twitter

Remaining with death

Association for the Study of Death and Society

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Additional content note: euthanasia/suicide

I realised that maybe our positions aren’t that different after all. And I wondered if, in the moments that I manage to believe in hope, I seem as inspiring and naïve as he does. It made me wonder if maybe the spark I see in him, that belief in people and ideas, if that isn’t also in me, despite my frequent feeling that it isn’t. If I might communicate that to other people regardless. If the world as humans know it lasts for long enough for me to reach a similar age as my dad, I wonder if I will be someone who frustrates and delights young people with my faith in them, whether I will still accept the possibility of hope and change?

This episode is about belief, hope and progress. It considers technological change, generational change, spiritual change and political change.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Extra content note: operations, medical procedures, assisted dying, euthanasiaIn the sixth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to sociologist Dr Gill Haddow about embodiment, replaceable hearts, everyday cyborgs, humanimals and unhealth. This is an episode about possible futures and how we feel about our bodies.

Gill on twitter

Everyday Cyborgs and Humanimals 2018

Animal, Mechanical and Me

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Additional content note: war, medical operations, suicidal ideation

I’m still pretty terrified of my dad stopping existing. He has been such a part of my life that it feels like a world without him in it is impossible. But ever since I was a child, I have been imagining that world. I’ve played out his death so many times. I’ve written it into fiction and songs. I’ve spent hours in my mind going through how it will be. What I might think and do. How it will affect me. How it will affect my family. And I’ve always thought it would probably happen soon. But it never has.

This episode is about confronting death and confronting love. It includes the story of my dad's war and of his heart attack and quadruple heart bypass.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/ The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Extra content note: PTSD, dependency/addiction, rape (touched on lightly, no descriptions)In the fifth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to psychologist and epidemiologist Dr Suzi Gage from the podcast Say Why to Drugs about researching recreational drug use and mental health.

Say Why to Drugs with Dr Suzi Gage

Say Why to Drugs by Dr Suzi Gage

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues This episode is about creating things: imaginary worlds, homes and friendship. It's also about walls: drawing on walls, putting up boundaries, and pulling down the walls inside your mind and heart.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/ The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Extra content note: Suicide, self-harm, bereavement, war, antisemitism, the Nazis, COVID19 In the fourth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to health psychologist Professor Rory O'Connor about researching suicidal behaviour. And to historian Professor Julie Gottlieb about researching suicide increases in times of crisis, specifically during the"War of Nerves" (1938-1939) and the Munich Crisis (September/October 1938).

. Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Additional content note: sexism, misogyny, questionable behavior, power dynamics and age gaps within romantic and sexual situations. When I made a show about my relationship with masculinity, I talked a lot about my mum and my stepdad, but my dad hardly featured at all. When he did, he was a positive presence and represented an alternative version of masculinity. When you’re trying to condense your history into an hour-long show, you have to leave some bits out. But there’s also something inside me that doesn’t want to deconstruct my dad. I don’t want to mess too much with the positive parts of my childhood. This episode is about masculinity, privilege and performance.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/ The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issuesIt’s important to keep in mind that the story of my relationship with my dad is only one part of his life. It’s only one of the ways he has been a father: the context of my childhood has been very different from the context of my siblings’ childhoods. While he was retired for most of my life, for the rest of my siblings, he was someone who went out to work. 

This episode is about friendship, parenting, love and care. Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/ The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues Extra content note: Bereavement, suicide, disability, abortion, terminal illnessIn the third full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to three doctors with different perspectives and experiences that inform their opinions around assisted dying and euthanasia, something my dad has long advocated for and wishes was available to him. Dr Rob Jonquiere is the executive director of The World Federation of Right to Die Societies: https://www.worldrtd.net Dr  Jacqueline Davis chairs Healthcare Professionals for Assisted Dying  which is part of UK organisation Dignity in Dying: https://www.dignityindying.org.uk 

Dr Mark Pickering is chief executive officer of the Christian Medical Fellowship and part of UK organisation Care Not Killing: https://www.carenotkilling.org.uk

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Memories are like desire paths: when you first walk down them, they are overgrown and full of details. The more you walk them, the more eroded they become; they are smoothed out and set. You get to what you remember more quickly, but what you remember has become something else. You no longer have to look for landmarks because there is a path for you to walk. This episode is about time memory, childhood, dementia and Citizen Kane. Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/ The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

In the second full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to Dr Jonathan Huntley about the work he is doing looking into awareness in people living with advanced dementia. And to Dr Daniel Davis about the work he is doing looking at how delirium and dementia impact society and health at a population level.  Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note for this episode: Euthanasia, suicide

Time is the longest distance between two places. Even when we are no longer here, we are always in time.

This episode is about time travel, death, dementia and love. Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

In the first full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to fellow Pulse Award recipient and podcaster Penny Bell. We compare notes on documenting a parent living with dementia, and discuss the similarities and differences between our parents' experience of, and attitude towards, dementia. You can find Penny's podcast Discovering Dementia wherever you get your podcasts. Here for example: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/discovering-dementia/id1239196983 Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues A document is a piece of evidence; a record; a proof of something. By this definition, we are all living documents, documents that may or may not be lost to history. What parts of us are recorded? What parts of us are seen? We record our lives and the lives of others, using our memory and our technology. We choose what to record, how we record it and how we present it, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously. We don’t always fully choose because we can only work with what we have; sometimes our choices are more restricted than others. We are all documents; we are all documenters; we are all Documentary Makers. Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/