Dr BB's Podcast

Vulnerability defined: Vulnerability refers to the willingness to expose oneself emotionally, to express genuine feelings, and to risk experiencing uncertainty, criticism, or rejection. This openness goes beyond physical vulnerability, involving emotional and psychological states where a person lets down defenses to connect more deeply with themselves and others. Dr Brené Brown, Professor of Social Work at the University of Houston. One of the leading researchers on vulnerability, defines it ...

The skill of focus in psychology refers to the ability to direct and maintain attention on a specific task or object, while ignoring distractions. It is a key component of cognitive processes such as problem-solving, decision-making, learning, and goal achievement. Focus allows for deeper concentration and more effective use of mental energy, leading to higher levels of productivity, creativity, and overall well-being.Come join Dr BB for further detailed explanation and learn all that you can...

In Part 1, Dr Barbara concludes while both "How?" and "Why?" are valuable questions in problem-solving, the question of "Why?" holds particular importance for fostering deeper understanding, addressing root causes, and creating long-lasting change. It requires patience and introspection, but ultimately leads to more sustainable solutions. This shift from "How?" to "Why?" can help individuals, relationships, organizations, and societies better navigate complex challenges and achieve greater we...

The nature of the questions we ask shapes our understanding of reality and influences our problem-solving strategies. In North American culture, a significant distinction can be made between asking "Why?" and asking "How?" in the context of problem-solving, particularly when it comes to personal and societal challenges.The Power of "Why?" When we ask "Why?" we seek to understand the underlying causes, motivations, and beliefs that contribute to a situation. In psychological terms, this is aki...

The schema concept in psychology, particularly in Schema Therapy (developed by Dr Jeffrey Young), refers to deeply ingrained, dysfunctional patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that originate from unmet emotional needs during childhood. These schemas act as filters through which individuals perceive and respond to life situations, leading to maladaptive coping behaviors in adulthood.Schemas are often linked to early negative experiences (e.g., neglect, abandonment, abuse, etc.) and can...

What are emotional or psychological triggers?In psychology, a trigger refers to any stimulus—whether internal (like thoughts or emotions) or external (like situations, people, places, or objects)—that causes an emotional reaction or recalls a past trauma. Triggers often lead to intense, automatic responses (reaction) that can include anxiety, anger, panic, sadness, or other strong emotions. They can occur in various mental health conditions: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, dep...

From a psychological standpoint, understanding the difference between facts and interpretations is crucial for effective communication and interpersonal interactions. Miscommunication often arises when people conflate facts with their interpretations. If we assume that our interpretation is the "truth", it can lead to incorrect conclusion and unnecessary conflict. For example, if you interpret a neutral comment from a colleague as criticism, you might respond defensively or even c...

Self-awareness is the experience of one's own character traits and skills. It is not to be confused with consciousness in the sense of qualia. While consciousness is being aware of one's environment and body and lifestyle, self-awareness is the recognition of that awareness. In other words, self-awareness is how an individual consciously knows and understands their own character, feelings, motives and desires. Dr BB explains both self-reflection and rumination are examp...

In this Part 2 of Thought Patterns That Don't Serve Us, Dr BB continues to make aware of the remaining common unhelpful thought patterns. Her intention is to bring those thought habits into the light, so we can be aware of our own bad thought habits, and learn ways to change those unhealthy styles of thoughts that no longer serve us. Come join Dr BB, have a listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please visit: www.drbarbarakiao.comThank you for listen...

In this Episode, Dr BB reminds us of the Result Formula - thoughts cause feelings, feelings cause actions, and actions cause results. Her intention is to bring some of our unhelpful thinking habits and patterns into the light, so we can be aware and learn ways to change the thought patterns that no longer serve us.Come join Dr BB, have a listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please visit: www.drbarbarakiao.comThank you for listening! Follow Dr BB on: We...

Coercive control is a pattern of behavior that a perpetrator uses to dominate, manipulate, and micro-manage the life of a victim. Unlike physical abuse, which can be more visible and identifiable, coercive control is often insidious and involves psychological, emotional, and sometimes financial abuse. This form of control systematically strips the victim of their autonomy, self-worth, and freedom, creating an environment of fear and dependence.Is Coercive Control a Form of Abuse?Yes, coercive...

Abuse is a complex and multifaceted concept in psychology, referring to any action that intentionally harms or injures another person, either physically, emotionally, or psychologically. Abuse can manifest in various forms, and it often involves a power imbalance where the abuser exerts control or dominance over the victim. The psychological impact of abuse can be profound, leading to long-term emotional, mental, and sometimes physical consequences.In this Episode, Dr BB explains the common t...

This is the final Episode of the series on Understand Spirituality. Dr BB shares one of her teachers, Carolyn Myss' list of her “greatest spiritual truths”. These are the teachings Myss holds most dear to her heart and Dr BB trusts they will serve you as much as they do her. Come join Dr BB to learn about these "spiritual truths": Kindness and patience matter at all times; look for something special in each day – something new; you are the engine of meaning and purpose; etc.etc.Accept t...

In this Episode, Dr BB continues to share the remaining common signs of authentic spiritual awakening, along with specific examples of how they might manifest in daily life.She then moves on to energy vampirism: A metaphorical concept where certain individuals, often referred to as "energy vampires," are thought to deplete the emotional or psychological energy of those around them. This concept describes how some people can negatively impact others' mental well-being.Come join Dr BB to learn ...

Spiritual awakening is a process often characterized by profound personal growth and insight. However, it can be accompanied by certain pitfalls or "spiritual traps" that may hinder genuine progress. These traps can present themselves as false signs of spiritual awakening, leading individuals to believe they are evolving spiritually when they might be stuck or misled. Recognizing these traps can help individuals maintain a balanced and grounded approach to spiritual awakening, ensuring that t...

In this Episode, Dr Barbara further expand on Carl Gustav Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst's take on spirituality. Dr Jung's approach to spirituality was deeply integrated into his theories of the psyche, and it played a significant role in his understanding of human consciousness and personal development. Come join Dr BB to learn the three stages of Jung's Individuation process: For Jung, individuation was a key spiritual process. It involves becoming aware of and in...

Carl Gustav Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology, had a profound and nuanced perspective on spirituality. Jung's approach to spirituality was deeply integrated into his theories of the psyche, and it played a significant role in his understanding of human consciousness and personal development. One of the key points about Jung's take on spirituality is Individuation: For Jung, individuation was a key spiritual process. It involves becoming awa...

Dr Deepak Chopra is an American expert in mind-body healing, and a world-renowned speaker and author on alternative medicine. Dr Chopra believes that the human body is composed of energy, and thus human aging is fluid and changeable, depending on the determination of one's state of mind. A philosophical idealist, he speaks and writes regularly about metaphysics, consciousness and Vedanta philosophy. Time magazine has called him "the poet-prophet of alternative medicine", and listed him ...

Dr BB shares Caroline Myss' teachings on spirituality. Myss is a revered author, thought leader and a pioneer in the fields of spirituality and mysticism. According to Caroline Myss there are four stages you will move through as you bring a spiritual presence into your life. To invoke a spiritual presence into your life is to ask yourself: "Why am I here?" "What is the purpose of life?"Come join Dr BB to learn more about Caroline Myss' teachings and to share, subscribe and review ...

Spirituality is a broad concept with room for many perspectives. Generally, it involves a sense of connection to something greater than oneself, which can involve a search for meaning in life. It is often linked to religion, but it can also extend beyond religious experiences. Dr Barbara explains some of the key aspects of spirituality: Connection through mindfulness and meditation practices. Nature Connection by spending time in nature can foster a sense of awe and connection to the wor...

The ego's functioning plays a crucial role in mental health, influencing how we perceive ourselves, manage stress, and handle relationships. A healthy, balanced ego contributes to resilience, effective coping strategies, and overall well-being. Conversely, a dysfunctional ego, characterized by low self-esteem, excessive defense mechanisms, or impaired reality testing, can lead to various mental health challenges. Understanding and nurturing the ego's positive aspects while addressing its nega...

The concept of the human ego has been central to the field of psychology, particularly in the psychoanalytic theory developed by Dr Sigmund Freud. Understanding the ego involves delving into its development, functions, and its role in personality and behavior.Come join Dr BB to learn more about Freud's Structural Model of the Psyche, and the modern perspectives on the ego:Sigmund Freud's model of the psyche consists of three components: the id, the ego, and the superego. In this Episode, Dr B...

Love and sex addiction are compulsive behaviors characterized by a preoccupation with romantic relationships and sexual activity, respectively. Love addiction is an unhealthy obsession with the idea of being in love or being in a relationship. It often involves a pattern of emotional dependence on others for validation and self-worth. Sex addiction involves a compulsive engagement in sexual activities despite negative consequences. It is characterized by an inability to control sexu...

The series on the Universal Laws You Must Know is coming to an end with Dr BB reveals the twelve law which is the Law of Rhythm. The Law of Rhythm is also known as the Principle of Rhythm, this law teaches that everything in the universe moves in cycles and has a rhythm, like a pendulum swinging back and forth. These cycles and rhythms can be observed in nature, human life, emotions, and events. Understanding and aligning with these rhythms can lead to greater harmony and balance in lif...

The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy states that energy is constantly moving and transforming from one form to another. This law implies that everything in the universe, including our thoughts and feelings, is a form of energy that can change and manifest into different states.Come join Dr BB to learn more about the key concepts of this law and how you can benefit from applying this law in your daily life.Listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources visit: ww...

The series on Universal Laws You Must Know is slowly and steadily approaching the final three. In the past few weeks, Dr BB has explored the Law of Oneness (what is in one is in the whole), the Law of Cause and Effect, the Law of Vibration, the Law of Correspondence, the Law of Relativity, the Law of Attraction and the Law of Inspired Action (they go hand in hand), the Law of Polarity and the Law of Compensation. In this Episode, Dr BB shares with you the Law of Gender.&nbsp...

Dr BB reveals there are mainly twelve Universal Laws that are worthwhile applying in our life. In the past few weeks, Dr BB has explored the Law of Oneness (what is in one, is in the whole), the Law of Cause and Effect, the Law of Vibration, the Law of Correspondence, the Law of Relativity, the Law of Attraction and the Law of Inspired Action (they go hand in hand), and the Law of Polarity. In this Episode, Dr BB shares with her audience the Law of Compensation. This l...

In this Episode Dr BB explains The Law of Polarity is often described in terms of duality: for every action, there is a reaction; for every positive, there is a negative; for every birth, there is a death. This duality is seen as a natural and necessary part of existence, contributing to balance and harmony in the universe.Come join Dr BB to learn more about the key concepts of this law - The Law of Polarity. She gives her audience practical life examples and how this law underscores th...

Dr. BB explains the Law of Attraction and the Law of Inspired Action. Both of these laws are concepts from the realm of metaphysics and personal development. They have become popular in self development, self-help circles and are often linked to the idea of manifesting desires. Dr. BB explores each of this law and how they complement each other, along with practical examples and benefits.Come join Dr. BB to have a listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resour...

"Universal Laws of Mysticism" generally refers to fundamental principles or truths that govern the mystical or spiritual realm. These laws are thought to be universally applicable, transcending specific religious or spiritual traditions. They often relate to the nature of reality, consciousness, and the interaction between the physical and spiritual worlds.In this series of the Universal Law, Dr BB has covered the Law of Oneness/Unity, Law of Cause and Effect, Law of Correspondence, and Law o...

The Law of Vibration is a fundamental principle that suggests everything in the universe, including thoughts, emotions, objects, and even spiritual energies, operates at its own unique frequency or vibration. This law implies that all aspects of existence are in a constant state of motion and emit energy waves that interact with each other.So how can this mystical law help you? In this Episode, Dr BB explains and shares practical tools to help you implement it. Come join Dr BB to ...

Due to technical issues, Dr BB's Podcast To Be Honest was out of action for two weeks. Dr BB is glad to be back with her audience, and in this Episode, she teaches The Lawof Correspondence. The Law of Correspondence is a concept often associated with various spiritual and philosophical teachings, including Hermeticism and the principles of metaphysics. This law suggests that there is a correspondence or alignment between different planes of existence or levels of reality. In simpl...

In this Episode, DrBB expands on the Law of Cause and Effect in relations to traumas. She explains that mystical laws respond to our beliefs, it is only natural for people to ask if they attracted their traumas in their lives. In short, DrBB says "no." She explains there is a micro and macro system at play in our lives with macro being what is beyond our direct control, what is destined to be and a part of a more complex shared experience; whereas, the micro scale are the things directl...

In this Episode Dr BB talks about the Law of Cause and Effect: This law suggests that every action has consequences, and these consequences can affect one's present and future experiences. Or similar to Newton's third law, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction". This law is demonstrated beautifully by the Butterfly Effect in chaos theory. Come join Dr BB to learn more about this Mystical Law of Cause and Effect. More importantly, learn how you can ...

What are the universal laws of mysticism? Why is it important for us to understand and maybe even to abide by them? These laws of mysticism are generally referred to principles or guidelines that are believed to govern the spiritual or mystical aspects of life. While interpretations may vary, some common mystical laws include: Law of Unity/Oneness/What is in One is in the WholeThey suggest a deep interconnectedness and unity within the fabric of existence. This mystical law often r...

In this Episode Dr BB shares the remaining common reasons to why it's so difficult for us to handle the truth about our shortcomings:Fixed Mindset vs Growth MindsetSocial Comparison and Norms Fear of Judgement &InsecuritiesCome join Dr BB to learn to embrace a growth mindset so you can better accept your imperfections. Afterall, nobody is perfect and humans are fallible.Listen, share, subscribe and review this episode.For further resources please visit: www.drbarbarakiao.comTha...

The question of why some people struggle to accept or handle the truth about their shortcomings is complex and can be influenced by various psychological, social, and cultural factors. Dr BB provides some general insights, however, she says it's important to note that individual experiences may vary, and not everyone reacts the same way to feedback or self-awareness.Come join Dr BB to learn the common reasons to why we can't handle the truth. Particularly, when the truth is about our shortcom...

Taking things personally often stems from various psychological factors, and people may interpret people and/or situations in a way that makes them feel personally attacked or criticized. Dr BB shares some psychological reasons for this tendency, along with specific examples like: Low Self-EsteemInsecurityPast TraumaPerfectionism, and many others.Understanding these psychological factors can help individuals work on building resilience, improving self-esteem, and developing healthi...

Dr BB shares the latest findings in psychology to explore the detrimental effects of assumptions on relationships and communication. Drawing on empirical evidence, Dr BB shares highlights of the pervasive nature of assumptions and their potential to wreak havoc on interpersonal dynamics. She also gives practical examples illustrate the ways in which assumptions can undermine relationship quality and communication effectiveness.Come join Dr BB to learn more about this human cognitiv...

In this final Episode of Low Self-Worth versus Low Self-Esteem, Dr BB concludes the five main differences between low self-esteem and low self-worth.1. Self-worth tends to be deeper than low self-esteem;2. Self-esteem tends to fluctuates more than self-worth;3. Self-esteem tends to be more fragile than self-worth;4. Self-esteem tends to be more judgemental than self-worth; and5. Self-Esteem tends to rely on the external world, where as self-worth is from within.S...

Is self-worth and self-esteem the same? Dr BB explains some mental health practitioners believe they are the same, and use them interchangeably. However, Dr BB thinks differently: She agrees both self-worth and self-esteem play a crucial role in an individual's mental and emotional well-being, however, there are important key differences between the two. Self-esteem is the subjective evaluation of one's own worthiness and value as a person based on external factors. S...

In this Part 1 of Low Self-Worth versus Low Self-Esteem, Dr BB shares a case from her peer Dr Andrea Szasz from the South Pacific Private, in Sydney, NSW, Australia. The protagonist in the case shows you how lack of self-worth drives addiction and relational issues.Dr BB quotes Dr Szasz: "Children need to grow up in a predictable, safe and nurturing environment to develop a robust capacity to cope with life's challenges and to have fulfilling lives." As Dr Peter Levine (trauma...

Welcome to the 2nd Episode in 2024. In this Episode, Dr BB shares the disturbing findings of Australia is failing to meet the UN's prohibition on violence against children.All states and territories have failed to outlaw corporal punishment against children.Researchers say there is no evidence that corporal punishment improves behaviour.Dr BB defines corporal punishment is the use of physical force or physical pain as a means of disciplining or correcting the behavior of a person, ...

Welcome to 2024. We trusts you've had a wonderful holiday season.To kick start this New Year, Dr BB talks about Resolutions versus Intentions. Of course, if you know Dr BB's work, then you also know she believes strongly in the power of Intention. In this Episode she explains the difference between resolution and intention.The intention of Dr BB is to continue to provide up-to-date skills and knowledge (using science and spirituality) to her loyal audience, so that they can ...

This is the last Episode of the year 2023, and a New Year message from Dr BB to her global audience.Dr BB dedicates the Jersey Boys' version of Auld Lang Syne to you all and your loved ones. Lyrics below might be slightly different from the traditional Auld Lang Syne:Auld Lang Syne (The Jersey Boys)Should auld acquaintance be forgot,And never brought to mind?Should auld acquaintance be forgotAnd days of auld lang syne?For auld lang syne, my dear,For auld lang syne,We'll take a cup o' ki...

Tis the season to be jolly, and it is also Dr BB's favourite time of the year.Come join Dr BB to find out what the true Christmas spirit is all about.Dr. BB also dedicates two songs to you, her global audience:First song:Grown -Up Christmas List by Pentatonix (featuring Kelly Clarkson)(This is also Dr BB's Grown-Up X'mas List)Do you remember me?I sat upon your kneeI wrote to you with childhood fantasiesWell I'm all grown up nowAnd still need help somehowI'm not a child but my heart stil...

In this last Episode of Know Your Attachment Style, Dr BB explains how the avoidantly attached individuals can heal and what actions they must take in order to work their way into an Earned Securely Attachment Style, so to create better, healthier relationships.Come join Dr BB to have a listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please visit: www.drbarbarakiao.comThank you for listening! Follow Dr BB on: Website: www.drbarbarakiao.com LinkedIn: Dr Barbara Ki...

In this Part 3 of Know Your Attachment Style, Dr BB continues to shed light on the avoidantly toxic kind of part in a relationship. Unlike the anxiously attached, the avoidantly attached, they do not use "protest behaviours", instead, they apply "deactivating strategies" so to keep their partner in arms length. Dr BB also shares how the anxiously attached can heal in order to come out on the other side. The "other side" is to consciously learn to behave in a way that allows y...

Knowing your own attachment style and recognizing your behaviors can be a first step toward developing healthier attachment patterns and improving relationship dynamics.Come join Dr BB in this Part 2 of Know Your Attachment Style, and you will have a better understanding of how the anxiously attached and the avoidantly attached come together.Dr BB explains what toxicity looks like in insecure attachment, and she also covers the anxiously toxic kind of part of the relationship.Come join ...

Attachment theory is a psychological framework that was developed by the British psychologist John Bowlby in the mid-20th century. The theory focuses on the bonds and emotional connections that develop between infants and their primary caregivers, usually their parents. Attachment is considered to be a fundamental aspect of human development and plays a crucial role in shaping an individual's social and emotional functioning throughout their life.In this Episode Dr BB explains some of the att...

In this last Episode of the series on Decode Your Past Traumas, Dr BB explains the "O" of Alex Howard's E.C.H.O. model to decoding your trauma. Come join Dr BB to learn some of the common outcomes of trauma in your own life, particularly how they can impact your nervous system, causing it to be dysregulated, and resulting in maladaptive stress response.Dr BB also talks about the importance of learning to S.H.I.F.T. your dyregulated nervous system back to a safe connecting state , and how...

Dr BB continues to explain the "H" of the E.C.H.O. model developed by Alex Howard to help decode your past traumas.It is vital to learn more about your Homeostatic Balance, how it changes when you are experiencing stress and how you can be experiencing a maladaptive stress response due to past unhealed traumas and not know it - Dr Stephen Porges coined it Neuroception.Come join Dr BB to have a listen, learn, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please visit: www.drba...

Dr BB continues to share some reflection questions for the 3 core emotional needs - boundaries, safety and love. Examine how well those needs have met for you during childhood and/or for you now as an adult. In this week's Episode Dr BB starts to dive into the "H" of the E.C.H.O. model to help decode your past traumas (developed by Alex Howard.) H is the homeostatic balance of our nervous system. Do you know where your baseline is? Do you know what maladaptive stress respons...

Dr BB said, "The bottom line is, we have 3 core emotional needs which I repeatedly say they are not wants or wishes, just like the air we breath, food and water, they are fundamental to our survival. For our emotional body, getting these core emotional needs met are fundamental (maybe not necessairly for survival) for its healthy development."Come join Dr BB to learn more about how you can decode your past traumas based on Alexander Howard's model: E.C.H.O.Have a listen, share, su...

"Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness," says Dr Peter Levine. One may say it is a brain indigestion problem.Dr Britt Frank, a trauma specialist who is a Somatic Experiencing practitioner defines trauma (based on Dr Peter Levine's work) as anything that's too much, too fast, too soon, and she adds, " ... or not enough". Trauma is anything you got that you didn't need or anything that you didn't get that you did need.Come ...

The Acceptance Dr BB refers to is the need to be loved and embraced for who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, without conditions or expectations of change. For example: Consider a person who comes out as LGBTQ+ to their family. Accepting and supporting them without trying to change their sexual orientation or gender identity is crucial for their emotional well-being. Such acceptance fosters trust and a sense of belonging within the family. Children who feel accepted by th...

Allowance is the need to have the freedom to be oneself, make choices, and express one's thoughts and feelings without judgement or control from others. It is also the need to be allowed to make mistakes because we are fallible. When individuals do not have their allowance needs met, it can have various consequences on their mental and emotional well-being, as well as their overall life satisfaction. Join Dr BB and learn more about the need of allowance and the possible cons...

Appreciation is the need to feel recognized, valued, and acknowledged for one's efforts and contributions.Feeling unappreciated means that most likely your self-esteem and emotions could be affected, potentially leading you to feel bad and creating conflict in your relationship. In contrast, when feeling appreciated by your partner, children, or family members can be essential to maintaining strong bonds.Dr BB shares that children need to feel valued so that they can gradually internalize sel...

Affection is the need for physical and emotional warmth, love, and intimacy from others. The need for affection may also refer to the degree to which a person wants to be close or distant in a relationship with someone. One of parents’ most important responsibilities is to make their children feel loved. In contrast, children who feel rejected by their parents have worse social, emotional, and behavioral adjustment, even into adulthood. Come join DrBB and find out more of thi...

The 5 A's of basic emotional food group, often associated with psychological well-being, represent fundamental emotional needs that individuals have (both children and adults.) These needs are essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships and a strong sense of self-worth.Dr BB shares the 5A's are: Attention, Affection, Appreciation, Allowance and Acceptance. Come join Dr BB to learn more about your need for Attention, and the consequences for not having the need met.For fu...

What is critical thinking? Critical thinking is a cognitive process that involves analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing information to make reasoned and informed decisions. From a psychological perspective, it holds immense importance in various aspects of life and serves several functions. In this Episode Dr BB shares the importance of having this skill and its life functions. So come join Dr BB, have a listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please vis...

Cognitive biases are systematic patterns of deviation from norm or rationality in judgment, often leading to perceptual distortion, inaccurate judgment, illogical interpretation, or what is broadly called irrationality. These biases are a result of how our brains process information, make decisions, and interpret the world around us. They can serve various functions and arise from a combination of evolutionary, cognitive, and social factors.There are numerous cognitive biases that humans are ...

From a psychological perspective why are people afraid of the truth, therefore also afraid to tell the truth? There are myriad reasons to why people might be afraid of the truth and consequently reluctant to face it. Dr BB shares some common factors: Fear of consequences, fear of judgment or rejection, protecting one's self-image, and that people often have a desire to maintain a positive self-image or protect their reputation. Come join Dr BB to find out more of some of the...

What is Psychology? Psychology is the scientific study of behavior, mind, and mental processes. It seeks to understand and explain how individuals and groups function, think, feel, and behave. It encompasses a wide range of topics, from understanding the cognitive processes of memory and decision-making to studying emotional reactions, personality traits, and social interactions. Psychology employs various emperical research methods, including experiments, surveys, case studies, and obs...

"How can one know when they are moving out of their optimal zone?" This was one of the questions Dr BB was asked by her audience, and since it is an important question, Dr BB explains in this Episode.Being aware of moving out of one's optimal zone in the "window of tolerance" involves developing self-awareness and paying attention to internal cues, emotions, and physical sensations. Come join Dr BB to learn more about the common internal cues, emotions, and physical sensations when movin...

Dr. Dan Siegel's "Window of Tolerance" is a concept used to describe the optimal range of arousal in which a person can effectively process and respond to emotions and stress. When individuals are within their window of tolerance, they can handle everyday challenges and stressors without feeling overwhelmed or shutting down. The idea is based on the understanding that our nervous system has a range of activation levels within which we can function optimally.According to Dr Siegel the "Window ...

From a psychological perspective, a growth mindset is the belief that one's abilities and intelligence can be developed and improved through dedication, effort, and learning. This concept was popularized by psychologist Dr Carol Dweck in her research on achievement and success. In contrast to a fixed mindset, which believes that abilities are inherent and unchangeable, a growth mindset fosters a belief in the potential for growth and development in various areas of life.The importance of havi...

Per her audience's requests, Dr BB explains the differences between suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts, along with some examples. No doubt, this topic can be sensitive to some audience, which may also be triggering or distressing to some individuals. It is crucial to prioritize your well-being and mental health needs. If you are currently experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please contact emergency services or a mental health helpline in your coun...

In life sometimes things go wrong, and when that happens, humans tend to cast blame on their perceived cause of the misfortune. Where they cast that blame can be related (in many cases) to a psychological concept known as locus of control.Locus of control refers to an individual's belief about the underlying causes of events in their lives. It relates to the extent to which people attribute outcomes to internal or external factors. The concept was developed by Dr Julian Rotter, an...

Detecting maladaptive manipulation of parents toward their children can be challenging, as it often involves subtle and covert tactics. However, there are some signs and red flags that may indicate unhealthy manipulation. If you are someone who suspects you have experienced or are still experiencing manipulation from your parents, or if you are a parent wanting to make sure you do not use manipulation toward your children, this Episode is for you. Come join Dr BB to learn some common re...

From a psychological perspective, manipulation can be defined as the deliberate and skillful use of tactics and strategies to influence or control others for personal gain or to achieve specific outcomes. It involves subtly shaping or directing someone's thoughts, emotions, or behaviors in a way that serves the manipulator's interests, often without the other person's full awareness or consent.While there may be innate tendencies or predispositions that can contribute to manipulative behavior...

In this Part 2 of Cultivate Discernment: Dr BB continues to share more methods to help cultivate discernment: Enhance Self-Awareness; Develop Critical Thinking Skills; Practice Mindfulness; Seek Multiple Perspectives; Question and Verify Information; Reflect on Past Decisions; Engage in continuous Learning; and Seek Feedback consistently.Dr BB says, " Please remember that cultivating discernment is an ongoing process that requires practice and self-reflection. By applying these strategies con...

From a psychological perspective, discernment refers to the ability to perceive and distinguish between different options, choices, or situations, and to make sound judgments or decisions based on that perception. It involves a combination of cognitive, emotional, and intuitive processes that enable individuals to evaluate information, experiences, and people in a thoughtful and insightful manner.Cultivating discernment in one's life is important for several reasons: Decison making; critical ...

From a psychological perspective, life is about making choices, and each choice we make has consequences. This perspective aligns with various psychological theories and frameworks that emphasize the role of decision-making and its impact on our lives. Come join Dr Bb to learn a few key concepts and perspectives from psychology that support this notion. Be aware, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources visit: www.drbarbarakiao.comThank you for listening! Fol...

Coercive control refers to a pattern of behavior used by an individual to dominate, manipulate, and control another person through various tactics and strategies. It is a form of domestic abuse or intimate partner violence that primarily focuses on exerting power and control over the victim rather than physical violence alone. Coercive control can occur in various types of relationships, including intimate partnerships, marriages, and family relationships.Come join Dr BB to get educated on th...

If you are like most of us who are new to the skill of setting boundaries, DrBB encourages you to give yourself ample time to practise. According to Dr BB, awareness is a powerful catalyst for positive change, and in this Episode she shares with her audience some common scenarios and practice scripts to make this skill easier for you.So come join Dr BB, have a listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please visit: www.drbarbarakiao.com & https...

It is by popular demand that Dr BB decides to share an acronym to help her audience remember the usage of boundaries. She emphasises that "boundaries are for you" - the goal of setting boundaries is to change ourself through our boundaries, so to understand what our feelings tell us what we want and need. The goal of setting boundaries is not about changing others or have them get us what we want.Come join Dr BB to learn about the boundary acronym, and the 5 main steps to set heal...

Have you ever wondered why you make the choices you do? What makes a person a good person? Who do you believe you are, a nice person or a good person? Should we strive to be good, rather than to be nice? If yes, why? Dr BB believes it is important to ask ourselves these questions. In this Episode, Dr BB shares one of her teachers, Sister Joan Chittister's beliefs: Marjority of us have been trained "to be nice" rather than "to be good". Do you think you have been trained to b...

Dr BB acknowledges the following creators of the Theme from the musical TIME ... Time is a musical with a book and lyrics by Dave Clark and David Soames, music by Jeff Daniels, and additional songs by Hans Poulsen and David Pomeranz.Dr BB wishes her audience to listen carefully to the lyrics spoken so beautifully by the late Sir Laurence Olivier. Know that "Your life is an expression of your mind. You are a creator of your own Universe, ..." , and know that you have been given the gift ...

Have you ever noticed that people are quick to say they’re jealous of someone, but will not admit to being envious? Dr. Brené Brown, a sociology research professor and author, has spoken extensively about the differences between envy and jealousy in her work on vulnerability, shame, and resilience.In her book "The Gifts of Imperfection," Dr. Brown defines envy as "the feeling of wanting what someone else has" and jealousy as "the feeling of wanting to keep what we have from others."&nbs...

The terms "emotions" and "feelings" are often used interchangeably, but there is a distinct difference between them.Emotions are complex psychological and physiological states that are often associated with specific bodily sensations, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or changes in facial expression. Some common emotions include happiness, sadness, anger, fear, and disgust.Feelings, on the other hand, are the conscious experience of an emotion. They are subjective and personal experienc...

Self-awareness is a crucial component of psychological health, and it involves being conscious of one's thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and sensations. From a psychological perspective, self-awareness is essential in understanding one's personality and how they relate to others. In this Episode, Dr BB examines the psychological perspective of self-awareness, including its definition, importance, and methods of cultivating self-awareness.Dr BB also shares a recent research on the connection bet...

In this Part 2 of The Four Survival Archetypes, Dr BB explains the Saboteur archetype, and that self-sabotage can occur for a variety of reasons, including low self-esteem, fear of success or failure, and a desire to maintain the status quo. In some cases, people may self-sabotage as a way of avoiding the discomfort or anxiety that comes with taking risks or making changes.Overall, the psychology of the Four Survival Archetypes is complex and multifaceted, and can involve a range of conscious...

In this Part 1 of The Four Survival Archetypes, Dr BB uses Caroline Myss' teachings. Myss has written extensively on archetypes, including the survival archetypes. She believes that archetypes are universal patterns of behavior and thought that are deeply embedded in the human psyche. According to Myss, these archetypes are not just limited to the realm of psychology or mythology, but are present in every aspect of our lives.The survival archetypes, in particular, are believed to represent th...

Carl Gustav Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, who developed the concept of archetypes. According to Jung, archetypes are universal, primitive, and symbolic patterns of behaviour, images, and themes that are present in the collective unconscious. These archetypes are part of the human experience and shape our behaviour, thoughts, and emotions. In this Episode, Dr BB explores Jung's concept of archetypes, their origins, and their relevance to ...

Procrastination is a common behavior in which an individual delays or postpones taking action on a task or goal, despite knowing that doing so may result in negative consequences. Procrastination can be problematic when it leads to reduced productivity, increased stress, and missed opportunities.Come join Dr BB to learn more about the onset of procratination, some factors that might lead people to procrastinate, and more importantly how to overcome procrastination.Have a listen, share, ...

In this Episode Dr BB thanks her listeners who email her and wanting to know more about 'emotional infidelity'. Dr BB reveals a report by Dr Ronnie Janoff-Bulman, she reports that people who exprience severe psychological trauma suffer from a shattering of their basic assumptions about the nature of the world.So If you wish to know why did infidelity happen? What is 'emotional infidelity'? What are the greatest fears of the hurt partner and the unfaithful partner? Come join Dr BB,...

It is difficult to provide an exact percentage, as research on infidelity can be affected by factors such as social desirability bias and varying definitions of infidelity. However, some studies suggest that a significant proportion of people may experience infidelity in their lifetime, with estimates ranging from 20% to over 70% depending on the population studied. So, if you're one who has been touched by infidelity in your life, this episode is for you.In this 1st part of Infidelity,...

Do you really understand what codependent relationship is? What a codependent relationship looks like? Many people think that codependent is the same as being clingy. It is not because the latter is much less extreme. A clingy person may “hang around” a bit too much, a codependent person believes that they can’t be alone and don't want to be. A codependent individual yearn to feel as if they are needed, even if it means leaning entirely into another for physical, emotio...

In this final Part 3 of Dr Margaret Paul's 6 Steps to Inner Bonding, Dr BB summarises this process that teaches us how to truly take responsibility for ourself. The bottom line is: the only person that is responsible for meeting our needs (now that you're an adult) is the one that is staring back at us in the mirror. When you practise these steps, soon you'll realise that you're indeed responsible for meeting your own needs and if you were to take that responsibility, you would st...

Dr BB continues to explore the topic of Self-Abandonment, and she defines a few important terms for the benefit of the listeners and they are: intent, core self, wounded self and spiritual guidance. Dr BB's intent is to help her audience to expand their perspective rather than seeing life as if through a tunnel.Come join Dr BB to learning the reasons why we self abandon and how to heal from it.Enjoy, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please visit: www.drbarb...

Self-abandonment? What is self-abandonment? To Be Honest has an episode on self-abandonment last year, please go back to the archive and enjoy Episode 93 - Self-Abandonment (A Story of Jack and Jill) after listening to this one.There are myriad reasons why relationships are so challenging and at times it is extremely taxing. According to Dr Margaret Paul, Dr Erika Chopich and Dr BB, the one cause of relationship challenges is - Self-Abandonment. In this 2-part Episode,...

Do you know if you have "mummy issues"? Besides, what are "mummy issues"? As Dr BB often says, to put it in a nutshell, mummy issues are issues a grownup carries over from their childhood to adulthood because of the relationship they share with their mother.While we mostly reference this term with men, of course, women too can have "mummy issues."In this Episode, Dr BB shares with her audience the common signs of a dysfunctional mother-son relationship or bond. She also share...

This is the first Episode in the New Year 2023. Dr BB challenges her audience to set new year intentions rather than resolutions. She also dedicates Abba's Happy New Year to her audience.So come join Dr BB have a listen, share, subscribe and review.Further resourcses please visit: www.drbarbarakiao.comThank you for listening! Follow Dr BB on: Website: www.drbarbarakiao.com LinkedIn: Dr Barbara Kiao &/or Dr BB CounsellingFacebook: Infinite Kindness &/or Dr Barbara Kiao Twi...

Another year is almost over, in this last Episode of 2022, Dr BB expresses her heartfelt thanks and gratitude to her subscribers and global listeners. She dedicates two songs to her audience: 1) Lost In Space by Lighthouse Family, 2) Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. Aren't you curious to know why Dr BB choose these two songs to end this Year? She says it all depends on your interpretation of the song lyrics.So, do enjoy, share, subscribe and review this Episode.Here's wishi...

Every year, we hear people talk about the 'Christmas spirit', but what does it really mean? The spirit of Christmas can be defined in many different ways, and in this Episode Dr BB shares her idea of what the true spirit of Christmas is, so that you can learn to embrace this spirit a little more this year. Come join Dr BB, have a listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please visit: www.drbarbarakiao.comThank you for listening! Follow Dr BB on: Webs...

Whether you are conscious of it or not, when you were a young girl, your bond with your father can affect your adult relationships. Studies have shown that fathers not only influence who we become, they can also affect our behaviours in adult relationships. Do you have suspicion that your multiple failed or toxic relationships in the past have something to do with you missing a father figure (physically and/or emotionally) when you were a little girl? So, you find yourself clingy, ...

"You just can't hate yourself into being better and you can't hate other people into it." - Dr Brene BrownShame is a complex emotion and some of us even feel shameful to be feeling shame. By popular demand, Dr BB reveals the difference between shame vs guilt, and other uncomfortable emotions based on the research by Dr Brene Brown. According to Dr Brown, "Shame is the fear of being unworthy of love, connection and belonging, and the absence of love and condition and belonging as a...

Have you assessed whether you grew up in a dysfunctional family? If your anser is yes and yes, research shows that you're also more likely to repeat these patterns in your own family. Have no fear, in this Episode, Dr BB shares with you some practical actions that you can take to heal and recover from your childhood wounds. Come join Dr BB to learn to live a more balanced and healthier life. Listen, share, subscribe and review this Episode.For further resources please visit:...