Grief Talk Podcast

In the second episode of our mini series - “The Anatomy of Early Grief” - we cover common mental side effects “early” grief can cause. From confusion to dissociation, we talk through our own lived experiences and how our mental health was impacted through our loss. Sara also explains the difference between acute stress disorder and post traumatic stress disorder. As a note - this episode is not intended to be medical advice. We encourage you to seek professional medical care if you are experiencing prolonged or severe physical side effects that could be caused by grief.

Comparing types of grief and loss is unfortunately all too common in our culture. In a desperate attempt to relate to others, comparing losses can feel insensitive and competitive. In this episode, we cover what grief comparison and competition are, how they don't help grieving people, and what to do instead. We also talk about how all types of loss are valid, but not all losses are the same. We share personal stories of our experiences with the death of our brother and how people have responded to our grief. As a note to listeners, we briefly talk about different ways people die in this episode including accidental death, illness and cancer, and suicide. Please listen with care. In this episode, we read two excerpts from Megan Devine's book "It's OK That You're Not OK". You can purchase this book for yourself (we highly recommend it!) and learn more about Megan's platform at https://refugeingrief.com/book/.

Season two of Grief Talk is here! After taking a quick break, we are back and ready for another season of deep dives into the world of grief and loss. We talk about how we are doing as we approach the anniversary of our brother’s death. We also discuss our plans for the upcoming season. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. In this episode, we send our love to all those who are grieving the loss of a baby. While this is not a loss either of our hosts have experienced, we would love to share with the grief community how we can support people who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. If you have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, infertility, or the loss of a baby and you’d like to share your story, something that has encouraged you, or something that has not helped you in your grief, we would love to hear from you. We honor the stories and input of those who grieve with the utmost respect and anonymity. You can write us through the “Contact” page on our website.

We wrap up the first season of Grief Talk with some of our favorite memories of our older brother, Leland, who passed away 5 years ago. Memories of live music, trying new foods, and childhood mischief warm our hearts as we remember the years we had with Leland. This lighter-hearted episode reflects how our grief can grow from painful trauma to warm memories. Memories and photos of the years we have together are all we have now and hold sacred the remembrance of our brother.

The support person role is integral to a griever. It is natural to want to care for a grieving loved one or friend.  Where do you start? How do you use your gifts to tend to a grieving person? When do you offer your help? In this episode we talk about some conventional and unconventional ways that we were cared for in our early grief. We also touch on how to check your expectations when supporting a grieving person.

Grief is uncomfortable. Our cultural response to seeing a grieving person upset is to say something to cheer them up. Although well-intended, many of the phrases used to try to lift the spirits of a grieving person can be hurtful and confusing. In this episode we discuss some common platitudes heard by grieving people and why they aren’t helpful. Some of the platitudes we discuss include: “Everything happens for a reason.” “They’re in a better place.” “It was God’s plan.” In this episode, we reference a helpful guide by therapist Whitney Goodman, LMFT. You can follow her on Instagram at @sitwithwhit.

Hearing that a friend or family member has lost a loved one can bring up a lot of questions. It is natural to feel curious about the circumstances surrounding someone’s death. While a natural curiosity is harmless, asking intrusive questions can put a grieving person in an uncomfortable situation. In the second part of a two-part series on questions, we give support people alternative questions to ask and responses to hearing about a death that are more sensitive to the grieving person. You are not entitled to a response or answer to any specific question, but there are other helpful ways to interact with a grieving person.

The cheer and merriment of holidays can be especially challenging for people who have lost a loved one. In this episode, we offer ways to honor a lost loved one during the holiday season, and what to do with traditions you have held in the past. We talk about how it is totally fine to resent Halloween, feel ungrateful at Thanksgiving, and feel lost when you have one less person to buy Christmas presents for. We also give ideas of holiday practices to continue, stop, or start after losing a loved one.

You may have heard that the first year of grief is the hardest. It is so important to care for yourself in the first weeks and months after loss. In this episode, we share Megan Devine’s “8 simple acts for an unbearable time” as a reminder to care for your mind and body after losing your person. It’s okay to ask the people around you for what you need. We offer practical ways you can ask for help. You may feel overwhelmed with emotion. You may feel numb. We unpack four feelings that are normal in the first year (and years) of grief: loneliness, anger, jealousy, and fear. For more information about Megan Devine and her platform, visit https://refugeingrief.com/.

In this episode, Sara shares her unique experience losing her brother, Leland. She discusses her life before loss, her relationship with Leland, and how her life has changed since his passing. Sara shares some of her favorite memories with Leland and reflects on the shock of sudden loss. Just as a heads up, we talk about finding out someone has died in this episode. While we are careful to discuss the trauma around death with sensitivity, it may be difficult for some people to hear.

In this episode, Susanna shares her unique experience losing her brother, Leland. She discusses her life before loss, her relationship with Leland, and how her life has changed since his passing. Susanna shares some of her favorite memories with Leland and reflects on the shock of sudden loss. Just as a heads up, we talk about finding out someone has died in this episode. While we are careful to discuss the trauma around death with sensitivity, it may be difficult for some people to hear.

Welcome to Grief Talk! In this episode, we sit down and discuss the vision for this space. We discuss how the idea for this podcast was born out of need. When we lost our brother suddenly, we found ourselves broken and feeling lonely. Our mission with this podcast is to comfort those who are brokenhearted from loss, to equip those with a grieving loved one, and to cultivate an intentional community by allowing ourselves the freedom to grieve.