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- 171 - #168 When You are Called to Soul-Based Deathcare: Becoming a Sacred Deathcare Guide – Sarah Kerr, PhD Founder of The Centre for Sacred Deathcare
Sarah Kerr joins BLBD again this week, as we share exciting news about a new course we’ve been developing at the Centre for Sacred Deathcare. Launching in 2025, the Sacred Deathcare Guide Training and Certification is designed as a modern “Mystery School for Deathwalkers.” Participants will learn to cooperate with the deep archetypal patterns that shape the process of death and trust their intuitive intelligence as they guide others. They will be equipped to explain the energetic and spiritual dimensions of death and loss as we explore healing not only for the living, but also for the dying and the dead. As one person said about Sarah’s classes: “It's like a path that’s been lit up on the runway. It’s why I'm here, it's why I was always here. My life now blows my mind.”
https://sacreddeathcare.com/our-courses/
https://www.instagram.com/sacreddeathcare/
https://www.youtube.com/@SacredDeathcare
https://www.facebook.com/Sacred.Deathcare
https://www.tiktok.com/@sacreddeathcare
Wed, 20 Nov 2024 - 13min - 170 - #167 Rewriting the Story: The Deathwalker Archetype and Soul-Based Death Care – Sarah Kerr, PhD & Founder of The Centre for Sacred Deathcare
This week’s conversation with Sarah Kerr invites you to broaden your perspective on death, shifting toward a soul-centered understanding. We talk about the role of archetypes: what are they, and why do they matter? In particular, we delve into the Archetype of the Deathwalker. As Sarah notes, “We are creatures of narrative. Everything in our world makes sense to us because we tell ourselves a story about it.” This leads us to consider the dominant cultural narrative around death, and how that story shapes our experiences. Could a new/old healing story emerge – one rooted in the journey of the soul – that would better serve the dead, the dying, and the living?
Wed, 13 Nov 2024 - 30min - 169 - #166 Planting Seeds in a Garden: Messages from Terminally Ill Parents to Their Children – Su Park, Founder of Die Well
If you have the “gift of precious time” in the face of a poor prognosis, here is a way to leave videos that are structured, organized, and developmentally supported for your children of any age. What might they want to know after you are gone? How can your voice continue to offer support and encouragement at transition points in their life? What can you leave behind that might impact their experience of grief and grieving? Su is both informative and insightful, carving a road that we might all look into.
Thu, 07 Nov 2024 - 27min - 168 - #165 When the Veil Is Thin: Ancestors, Ghosts and Spirits – Rhea Mader, Founder of Conscious Living, Conscious Dying
Rhea Mader and I chat about the mysteries that this time of year brings forth. We start out with some light-hearted remembrances of Halloween costumes, and then we ask each other the famous (perhaps seasonal) question: Do you believe in ghosts? Plus, why do some say there are two separate autumn seasons, and why is it said that “veil is thin” this time of year? Finally, Rhea shares an experience with the ancestors of the land, and we mull over our own impending ancestorhood.
https://consciouslivingconsciousdying.com/
https://www.instagram.com/consciouslivingconsciousdying
https://www.facebook.com/consciouslivingconsciousdying
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rheamader/
Wed, 30 Oct 2024 - 33min - 167 - #164 Conversations with Doctors: How Do You and Your Doc Get on the Same Page? – Dr Matthew Tyler, How to Train Your Doctor
Listening to Dr Matthew Tyler mull over the intricacies of conversations between doctors and patients always gives me hope. How do we figure out when to say yes or no to treatment? How do we create conversations that navigate these waters with honesty and grace? How do doctors break bad news, and how do patients prepare to hear whatever is going to be said? Plus – what’s “the surprise question”? (Hint: it’s a way of getting at your life expectancy.) This is a wide-ranging conversation with seeds that I hope will bear fruit in your future.
https://www.instagram.com/howtotrainyourdoctor/
https://howtotrainyourdoctor.com/
Wed, 23 Oct 2024 - 30min - 166 - #163 We’ve Lost Our Role Models for How to Die and How to Give Care to Those Who are Dying — Barbara Karnes, RN
In this conversation with long-time hospice nurse and educator Barbara Karnes, she states: “We’ve lost our role models on what it’s like to die, and we’ve lost our role models on how to take care of someone who is dying.” What does she mean? What are we missing? What would be the benefit of learning more, for the dying as well as for those who are caregiving and grieving? Barbara shares her thinking on these matters and so much more, including additional thoughts about her personal loss of her husband one year ago.
Wed, 16 Oct 2024 - 28min - 165 - #162 One Year After the Death of a Spouse: Barbara Karnes, RN Reflects
This podcast is personal, and I thank Barbara Karnes for her candid sharing of what the first year has been like after the death of her long-time husband, Jack. She reflects on her experience of caregiving and talks openly about what she has learned through this year of grieving. What I see is that Barbara lives her truth: “Because I work in the end of life, I’ve learned this: do and say what you want to do and say today. Because you never know what tomorrow’s going to bring.”
Wed, 09 Oct 2024 - 28min - 164 - #161 What Are the Different Ways that Grief Shows Up? – Annie Sklaver Orenstein, Author
Resilient grief, complicated grief, anticipatory grief, disenfranchised grief. These are terms you may or may not be familiar with, but trust me, learning about them will help you and help you understand your friends and family in times of loss and grief. – Which, by the way, is pretty much going on all the time, hand-in-hand with joy and expansion. This human life is filled with grief. Let’s learn from an expert, steeped in her own experience plus backed by research, author of Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner’s Guide to Grief ,Annie Sklaver Orenstein.
Wed, 02 Oct 2024 - 25min - 163 - #160 Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner’s Guide to Grief – Annie Sklaver Orenstein, Author
WhenAnnie Sklaver Orenstein’s brother died, she looked for books that would help her to understand her experience as a surviving sibling. While she encountered a fair number of books about grief, she found nothing that began to touch on her experience – so she set out to write the book she needed. Part personal story, part interviews and surveys with hundreds of siblings, and part a collection of important material on trauma, grief and families, this book rocked my world and my understanding of the importance of siblings and grief.
www.instagram.com/anniesklaverorenstein
Wed, 25 Sep 2024 - 30min - 162 - #159 It’s Not Too Late, Until It’s Too Late: How to Start a Conversation – Diane Hullet, Mortality Educator and Doula
It's all well and good that I keep saying “You should really have conversations about death and dying….” Yet you might be thinking, “What the heck! This is too hard! How am I supposed to even start that conversation?! Please give me some suggestions that can help.” In this episode, I’ll do just that, laying out some ways to think about how to approach this, and even offering up some specific sentence starters you can use, thanks to the treasure trove of ideas shared by The Conversation Project and other resources. (Love a slide presentation? Then watch this one on Youtube for a bonus!)
Wed, 18 Sep 2024 - 19min - 161 - #158 When Dementia and Mental Illness Collide: One Person’s Experience – Tarron Estes, Founder of the Conscious Dying Institute
Tarron Estes is no stranger to death. Raised by a mother who sat vigil with the dying, Tarron understood from a young age the power and possibility of liminal spaces. With her mother now 94 years old and living with dementia, Tarron and her siblings grapple with mom's dementia and the complexities of the family system. How do these dynamics affect all involved? What are some resources that offer support? A vulnerable, personal story.
https://www.consciousdyinginstitute.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tarron-estes-5975248/
https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousDyingInstitute/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1uG_nnfe1c_EtV_dsJ4sUw
https://www.instagram.com/consciousdyinginstitute/
Wed, 11 Sep 2024 - 26min - 160 - #157 What Do the Dying Take with Them? – Gabriele Elise Jimenez, Hospice Nurse and Author
Gabby Jimenez – hospice nurse, doula and social media content creator extraordinaire – explores these questions with me. What do the dying take with them? How do we understand and explore regrets? Why so much guilt? What do grievers take away from the experience of losing their loved ones? Eventually, everyone dies – how can we improve this universal experience in simple yet powerful ways, for all those involved?
Wed, 04 Sep 2024 - 26min - 159 - #156 Having The Conversation Can Make the Difference Between Pain and Peace – Gabby Jimenez, Hospice Nurse and Author
Gabby changed everything up mid-life after taking care of a friend who was dying. She realized that she wanted to make a difference in people’s lives by becoming a hospice nurse and doula, and learning and sharing all she could about death and dying. Having witnessed and supported more than 2,000 people as they die, Gabby brings true “bedside knowledge” to her presentations, books and this conversation. Want to hear a warm-hearted hospice nurse talk about what truly matters? This is it.
https://www.instagram.com/gabrielle.elise.jimenez/
https://www.facebook.com/thehospiceheart.net
Wed, 28 Aug 2024 - 35min - 158 - #155 A Key Medical Study: Living the Most in the Time You Have Left – Dr Kerin Adelson MD Anderson and Dr Maureen Canavan Yale
When you are in that terribly complicated time of making medical decisions around advanced cancer, what framework can you turn to? Oncologists are called upon to treat and offer options; patients hope to gain time if not be cured. What are the choices and the impact of those choicesfor advanced solid tumor cancers? What if I told you that two doctors have gathered the data to find out whether certain treatments extend life or not. Would you listen to that conversation to find out more? I would!
Wed, 21 Aug 2024 - 33min - 157 - #154 Our Grief Illiterate and Grief Avoidant World, Part II – Kim Shute, Grief Writer
This conversation is one of those that is personal and universal. What do you do when your partner dies unexpectedly? What Kim did was delve into that experience and, over time, lean in to help others as they are hit by loss and grief. As she says, “I can be an upbeat, energetic person, and I’ve had this big loss. The content that I’m talking about is grief, and yet I’m enthusiastic about it, so that might feel weird to people. But I want to be of service and I want this horrible pain to be of use to someone.” Kim talks about her experience and her work, touching on many aspects of grief and loss.
https://www.pocketgrief.com/
https://www.facebook.com/PocketGriefHelps
https://www.instagram.com/pocketgrief/
Wed, 14 Aug 2024 - 31min - 156 - #153 Our Grief Illiterate and Grief Avoidant World, Part I – Kim Shute, Grief Writer
After her husband of 19 years died suddenly of Leukemia at the age of 48, Kim Shute experienced first-hand that the death of a young partner “stopped people in their tracks.” Friends and family showed up as best everyone could, but it launched Kim on an unexpected path into working in the field of grief, through leading groups, presenting in her community, and creating a series of Pocket Grief books. One of those booklets, Hints for Grieflings, notes, “Grief is how you see life after loss, like putting on a new pair of glasses.”
https://www.facebook.com/PocketGriefHelps
https://www.instagram.com/pocketgrief/
Wed, 07 Aug 2024 - 30min - 155 - #152 What is “Death over Drafts”? – Stefanie Elkins, Founder of Death over Drafts and Be Present Care
Perhaps you’ve heard of Death Cafes or Death over Dinner… what about Death over Drafts? Grab a brew and listen to this episode in which you’ll hear from founder – and craft beer lover – Stefanie Elkins. What is a Death over Drafts event like to attend? What is the Death Deck and how does it tie in to this kind of program? What’s the purpose of these casual events, and who might attend? I love anything that brews up a conversation about the end of life, so you know I appreciate these nationwide events!
Wed, 31 Jul 2024 - 27min - 154 - #151 The Experience of Aging: “I’ve Become an Immigrant In the Country of Old” — Susan Lieberman, Author
As Author Susan Lieberman concludes in this BLBD conversation: “Old is not terrible, it’s just old.” Listen to this episode for some light thoughts and some deep wisdom about aging, death, loss, and especially – how to be where we are. Susan has several books including In the Country of Old: Nine Reflections from a New Immigrant to the Country of Old and also Death, Dying and Dessert: Reflections on Twenty Questions About Dying.
Wed, 24 Jul 2024 - 24min - 153 - #150 What Makes an Obituary Full of Life? – Jennifer Carroll, Author and Artist
Jennifer Carroll shares tips and thoughts on how to bring an obituary to life. What are the personal touches that take it beyond a short, basic announcement? How do you capture details that illustrate the character of the person and their passions and quirks? How do we find the “extraordinary moments of ordinary lives”? Jennifer recommends that we “start early, enjoy the process, gather voices and stories, identify themes, and seek out defining moments.” Overall in this conversation we are exploring: What makes a fitting tribute to those we love?
Wed, 17 Jul 2024 - 31min - 152 - #149 Judith Letting Go: Six Months in the World's Smallest Death Cafe – Mark Dowie, Award-winning Journalist and Author
I think it is fair to say that Mark Dowie’s latest book is unlike any other he’s written. Brief and intensely personal, Mark writes about his experience with Judith Tannenbaum, poet and friend-of-a-friend who suffers from a debilitating yet often invisible illness with severe pain. Mark becomes a guide, dear friend and “amateur doula” for her as they share conversations and thoughts as she lives her final months. In this episode, he and I discuss Death Cafes, the Final Exit Network, Compassion and Choices, and of course the book, Judith Letting Go: Six Months in the World's Smallest Death Cafe.
Wed, 10 Jul 2024 - 33min - 151 - #148 Bonus Tracks with a Thanatologist and an Animal Doula – Kim Mooney and Kayla Nakano
I’m pulling from the “old files” for this one! I spoke with Kim Mooney on BLBD podcast #71 and #72 and with Kayla Nagano on #74, and with this episode you can hear more from each of them! Kim = renowned thanatologist plus huge advocate for compassionate end-of-life options in Colorado and beyond. Kayla = podcaster and expert in all things animals and end of life. Enjoy this episode of "bonus tracks" from my past recordings with these two experts.
Wed, 03 Jul 2024 - 20min - 150 - #147 How Can We Prevent Adults From Drowning? – ‘Melon’ (Mary Ellen) Dash, Expert Swim Instructor
I believe that this podcast offers a topic you might not have considered – and it very much has to do with life and death. “Drowning deaths are on the rise in the United States, following decades of decline, according to a new CDC Vital Signs study. Over 4,500 people died due to drowning each year from 2020–2022, 500 more per year compared to 2019.” Many of these drownings could be prevented – not by knowing swim strokes, but by learning to be in deep water without panic. This is a perfect podcast to hear as we head into summer months, and the lessons Melon shares apply to more than just pools, rivers, lakes and oceans.
Wed, 26 Jun 2024 - 32min - 149 - #146 VSED Part 2: Understanding Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking – Nancy Simmers BSN, RN, Death Doula
Nancy Simmers served as the death doula for Kate Christie’s mother when she chose VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking) to hasten her death. How did Nancy’s path take her from working as a birth doula to becoming a death doula? How did her expertise grow over the years? How does she support the individual and the family in a VSED situation? What are the three typical parts of a death by VSED? This two-part podcast is an eye-opener on a subject that most of us know little about. Last week’s episode: a conversation with the daughter who experienced her mother’s death by VSED.
Wed, 19 Jun 2024 - 38min - 148 - #145 VSED Part 1: One Family’s Experience of a Terminal Fast – Kate Christie, Author of The VSED Handbook
Kate Christie and her family went through the experience of VSED when her mother chose to “voluntarily stop eating and drinking.” This choice to hasten death is not to be undertaken lightly, but it is a true choice that is legal and available to anyone. How does it work? Why would someone choose this? What was the experience like for Kate, her father, and her mother? Learn about her experience as the daughter and what is critical to have in place for VSED to painlessly succeed. Next week's episode: a conversation with the doula who guided their experience.
Wed, 12 Jun 2024 - 43min - 147 - #144 Conscious Grieving: How Might We Engage and Transform Through Loss? – Claire Bidwell Smith LCPC
In this episode we explore the rich, complex topic of grief. Claire Bidwell Smith’s beautiful book Conscious Grieving: A Transformative Approach to Healing from Loss shares an easily accessible road map for anyone willing to be curious about what grief has to offer. Who is on such a journey with their grief? Well, that just happens to be all of us. Hopeful, pragmatic and inspirational, the brief chapters in this book show us concrete ways to “enter, engage, surrender, and transform” through the inevitable losses in our lives.
https://clairebidwellsmith.com/
https://www.facebook.com/clairebidwellsmithwrites/
https://www.instagram.com/clairebidwellsmith/
https://twitter.com/clairebidwell
Wed, 05 Jun 2024 - 28min - 146 - #143 Telling Our Stories as They Come to a Close – Darnell Lamont Walker
Writer, teacher, artist, filmmaker, and death doula Darnell Lamont Walker is all about the stories we live and share. What truly matters as we spend time and create stories with those we love? Darnell's wide-ranging experience as a “rambling man” give him an original perspective on what matters as we live and as we die. This is one of those conversations that I’m having a hard time summarizing, but I think you’ll find that it moves something inside you.
https://www.instagram.com/hello.darnell/?hl=en
https://www.linkedin.com/in/darnellwalker
https://www.facebook.com/DarnellLamontWalker/
https://twitter.com/hellodarnell?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
Wed, 29 May 2024 - 34min - 145 - #142 Get Griefy: A Magazine For Those Living with Loss and Actually Living – Kera Sanchez, Founder of Get Griefy
When Kera’s mom died unexpectedly at age 57, just a few days after Kera had just had a baby, the duality of grieving and mothering dropped her to her knees. Out of this grief and in the year that followed, Kera found resilience in the stories of so many others dealing with loss. While still a full-time high school teacher, she launched a magazine called Get Griefy, packed with stories that move and inspire. As the Get Griefy mission declares: “Our commitment is to go beyond the conventional narratives surrounding grief and loss, acknowledging that life after loss is not only about mourning but also about embracing the strength to live fully.”
https://www.legacylettersjournal.com/home
https://www.instagram.com/legacylettersjournal/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kera-sanchez-066a79a6/
Wed, 22 May 2024 - 22min - 144 - #141 What Can We Do to Create Gentle, Empowered Endings? – Dr Bob Uslander
How do we support individuals to do death better?
#1 Realize that the medical system isn’t set up to address the gaps for the dying and their families.
#2 Identify for you and yours: what are the gaps we are going to have, and what might possibly fill them?
#3 Look into resources ahead of time.
The bottom line: We aren’t very prepared and there are gaps we really should know about. Take your head out of the sand of denial and have a look around, starting with listening to Dr. Uslander’s naming of “the five gaps people don’t see coming” in this important episode.
https://www.facebook.com/empowerendings
https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobuslander/
https://www.instagram.com/empowered_endings_/
https://www.youtube.com/@Empowered-Endings/
Wed, 15 May 2024 - 39min - 143 - #140 What Do Grief Groups Offer? The Who, When and Why – Jenn Flaum, Executive Director of the HeartLight Center
The HeartLight Center in Denver, CO is a nonprofit grief center offering in-person and online support to those who are grieving or supporting grievers. Executive Director Jenn Flaum talks with me about how they strive to “adapt, connect, and create what’s meaningful” for all those who come through the door. What are the different things that grievers need? What does a grief group look like? How is “peer-based support” different? When you need support, why choose a group versus individual counseling?
https://www.instagram.com/heartlightcenter/
https://facebook.com/heartlightcenter
https://twitter.com/heartlightcente
https://www.linkedin.com/company/2101243/
Wed, 08 May 2024 - 33min - 142 - #139 Seeing Death as Part of Life: Changing Culture Through Film – Johanna Lunn, Director
Several years ago, film Director Johanna Lunn set out to make a movie about death. What she quickly discovered was that there were enormous amounts of material and innumerable possibilities for directions this could take. So she co-founded a website, whenyoudie.org, and ultimately created three films, each one a compilation of interviews with experts, musings by the narrator, and gorgeous views of nature. What can we learn from listening to experts who've spent their careers with folks who are near death? What can we learn about living from exploring dying? Here is one thing I’ve learned: changing the culture means learning a lot more about what we have kept at arm’s length.
Wed, 01 May 2024 - 31min - 141 - #138 Hospice Information Is a Phone Call Away – Helen Bauer, Founder of Hospice Navigation Services
Helen Bauer is one of those people who makes connections and disseminates information in every way she can think of! With 500+ podcast episodes of The Heart of Hospice, and 15+ years as a hospice nurse, Helen is dedicated to helping people answer the questions they have about the end of life – especially when it comes to hospice care. What kind of choices do I have at this stage? What are my options? How can I get the ‘big picture’ to help me orient myself to this new landscape? How can I talk to someone impartial? Who has fast answers to my questions for myself or my loved one?
https://www.theheartofhospice.com/
https://www.facebook.com/theheartofhospice/
https://www.instagram.com/theheartofhospice/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-heart-of-hospice/
https://twitter.com/TheHeartHospice
Wed, 24 Apr 2024 - 33min - 140 - #137 Thoughts in Passing - Portraits and Stories at the End of Life – Claudia Bicen, Artist
I reached out to artist Claudia Biçen when I learned about an installation she had created some years ago that combined the portraits and words of hospice patients in a striking, intimate way. Our conversation ended up being about that, yes, but we also explore the richness of creativity, impermanence, adaptation, and the making of meaning. As Claudia said, “Life throws you this experience and you pivot and you pivot and you pivot and you keep trying to make meaning from it.” How might these “portraits and stories at the end of life” inform our living?
Wed, 17 Apr 2024 - 27min - 139 - #136 What Is the Arc of a Meaningful Memorial Service? – Shari Stern, Celebrant
We have probably all attended funerals that we found meaningful – and services that fell flat. What are the parts that make up a meaningful memorial service? What’s the difference between a funeral and a celebration of life? How does music make a difference? How can an officiate – whether secular or religious – help to hold the experience of the day for all who participate? In these modern times, with families and friends far flung, why are such rituals still relevant?
https://www.thisishowmystoryends.com/
Wed, 10 Apr 2024 - 33min - 138 - #135 Thoughts on Planning for the Inevitable – Sue Mackey, Founder of Out of the Box End of Life Planning
Nothing like talking to an expert in the field to clarify what truly matters! Sue Mackey has been working for more than 15 years to help people prepare for the end of life. We talk about critical pieces of the puzzle, such as: What is a healthcare proxy? Is that the same thing as a durable medical power of attorney? And why are there so many terms that mean the same thing anyway? (Spoiler: There is no way to actually answer this, at least not in 30 minutes.) Sue and I talk about what gets in the way of getting the paperwork we know we need to do completed, but ultimately, as Sue says, “Paperwork is the surface work – first you’ve got to take a look at your own mortality!” Only then will you find yourself signing what needs to be signed.
https://www.outoftheboxendoflifeplanning.com
facebook.com/OutoftheBoxFuneralPlanning
Wed, 03 Apr 2024 - 32min - 137 - #134 In Their Honor: Veterans and the End of Life – Dr. Qwynn Galloway-Salazar
Dr. Qwynn Galloway-Salazar brings her experience as a veteran and spouse of a combat veteran straight into her work as a death doula and educator. She sees the value of a multi-layered approach, believing that:
1) we can best companion veterans who are dying by understanding their unique end-of-life needs;
2) we can better support the caregivers of veterans through education and practical resources; and
3) we can offer insights to the medical team that is supporting an individual, to help them understand the unique facets of a veteran's life experience and how those may play out at the end.
Qwynn and I dive into these questions and more, but at the heart of this conversation is the question: What would it look like to truly honor veterans as they come to the end of their lives?
Wed, 27 Mar 2024 - 33min - 136 - #133 Eldercare Is Episodic – Rick Northrup
This week I have a conversation with none other than an old family friend. And while I love talking to the experts out there, there’s something just kinda basic about about chatting with a friend who’s “been through it” with his parents and in-laws. What are the lessons he gleaned? What went well in their family situation? What are the pitfalls he has seen, personally and through his work? We talk about both the personal and the big picture of eldercare — how do we approach this stage, why is it so complicated, what do families need to know, and how can they prepare themselves for the later stages of people’s lives?
Wed, 20 Mar 2024 - 31min - 134 - #132 Scams and Fraud: What You Need to Know! – Amy Nofziger, AARP expert
Amy Nofziger is the Director of Victim Support for the AARP Fraud Watch Network and has nearly two decades of experience in fraud prevention and victim support. Listen to this BLBD episode to get the scoop on scams and fraud. What is it? How does it happen? Could I be a victim? What do I do if I am? As Amy says, “Know the red flags: asking for money or your personal information. End of story.” What does this have to do with my "Best Death," you are asking? File this in the "Best Life" department!
Wed, 13 Mar 2024 - 25min - 133 - #131 Visiting When Someone Is Dying - “Always go to Ohio” – Jennifer Graham
What would it mean to you to “Always go to Ohio”? In this episode, author Jennifer Graham and I ponder the question: why show up? Whether for a next door neighbor, or for a family member or friend across the country, how do we show up for one another? Jennifer says, “That’s one of the lessons that I’ve taken from all of this: That there’s absolutely nothing you can do that has more value than physically showing up for people.” Maybe this is what humans need — to show up for each other. But how, and when, and in what way? Together we tackle some of the obvious questions and also mull over some of the nuances.
https://jennifergrahamtoday.com/
Wed, 06 Mar 2024 - 32min - 132 - #130 The Wind Phone Phenomenon – Grief, Connection, Art, & Service – Amy Dawson of My Wind Phone
In this episode, learn about “wind phones” — what are they, where are they, who is making them, and why? Created to share a continuing relationship with someone who has died, wind phones are in our communities in some surprising places. As Amy Dawson, curator of the website mywindphone.com, says, “The concept of sending messages on the wind isn’t new… It goes back to Greek mythology, and beyond. Gods sent messages on the wind.” Find out how you can send messages on the wind through this creative and widespread phenomenon.
https://www.instagram.com/mywindphone/
Wed, 28 Feb 2024 - 31min - 131 - #129 Navigating Modern, Meaningful Caregiving - Allison Applebaum, Ph.D.
Allison Applebaum, Ph.D. sees caregiving through both a personal and professional lens, giving her a unique take on the logistics of individual situations as well as the broad view. She talks about the “three buckets of responsibilities” that are common for carepartners; offers ways to create support both internally (think: breathing) and externally (think: build a team of support); and asks two big questions:
1) “How can our healthcare system better prepare caregivers for the tasks they face?” and
2) “What does it mean to find meaning in caregiving?”
https://www.instagram.com/drallisonapplebaum/
https://twitter.com/DocApplebaum
Wed, 21 Feb 2024 - 31min - 130 - #128 How to Train Your Doctor – Dr. Matthew Tyler
Dr Matthew Tyler is a palliative doctor and champion via social media for having the hard conversations when necessary. He knows that doctors are doing their best, and some excel at breaking difficult news to patients. But communication skills have to be developed over time and with experience, and every patient is unique in their desire for “That Conversation.” So – you have to train your doctor in knowing you! What is a “goals of care conversation”? How do you know what success looks like for you as an individual? How do we begin these conversations with our doctors? I hope that this podcast episode helps you take steps to ensure that you and your doctor are aligned on the important subject of your care.
https://howtotrainyourdoctor.com/
https://www.instagram.com/howtotrainyourdoctor/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj8dh2NwtsW2B1d9SyGhXSg
https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-tyler-4848b8206/
Wed, 14 Feb 2024 - 36min - 129 - #127 Dying in Community: The Last Ecstatic Days of Ethan Sisser - Dr Aditi Sethi
This conversation with Dr Aditi Sethi is a heart-felt discussion of a film, a doctor’s experience of an unusual patient, and the idea that “death has value.” Dr Sethi is the type of palliative care and hospice doctor who brings full presence and full heart to everything she does, and together we reflect on the film, her friendship and doula work with Ethan Sisser, and what it means to die in community. Whether or not you are able to see the movie, our conversation describes the film so you can imagine it, explains Dr Sethi's involvement and views, and asks the question: what would it be like to be surrounded by a loving community when we die?
To learn more...
Visit the film's website: www.thelastecstaticdaysmovie.com
Subscribe to THE LAST ECSTATIC DAYS on YouTube: http://tiny.cc/TheLastEcstaticDaysSub
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Wed, 07 Feb 2024 - 29min - 128 - #126 Why Have a Conversation about Mortality? (and how the heck do we even begin??) – Reena Lazar, Willow End of Life Education and Planning
Willow End of Life Education and Planning is all about changing the conversation around death and dying to include living. As Reena Lazar says, “All that matters in the end, matters now.” We talk about how the finiteness of life is profoundly motivating; how thinking about the end and working backwards makes a difference in how we live; the impact of a quick love letter exercise; and how conversations are key. We even dive into five concrete steps that can help guide you in having more successful end-of-life conversations with someone you love.
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Wed, 31 Jan 2024 - 30min - 127 - #125 How Is Caregiving for Someone Who is Dying Different? – Katie Duncan, Death Care Coach, Part 2
Caring for someone who is dying takes a different approach, and family members may not always remember that or see that it is no longer time to "seek a cure." Katie Duncan and I discuss some of the challenges that family caregivers face when someone is dying: realizing the time to "fix" is at an end; stepping into a role with little or no training; adjusting to this new role, often from a geographic distance; acknowledging and adjusting to the constantly changing needs of the loved one; and figuring out who to turn to for guidance and resources. As educator Barbara Karnes says, “Dying is not a medical event, but a community event.” Listen in to learn more.
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkE5aFVFxWT46nNar91cLXw
Thu, 25 Jan 2024 - 30min - 126 - #124 How Do We Cope with Long Term Caregiving? – Katie Duncan, Death Care Coach, Part 1
At some point in your life, caregiving will likely come upon you, if it hasn’t already. As Rosalynn Carter noted, there are only four kinds of people in this world: “Those who have been caregivers; those who are currently caregivers; those who will be caregivers; and those who will need caregivers." What can we put in place to help folks in this role?
Katie helps us think through some key questions, including:
What's the financial picture, and how does that impact possible options? Who is in our “village”? What are the gaps in care? How can we organize a schedule and fill in those gaps? What’s the right amount of help and how do we find resources?Follow her on socials:
https://www.facebook.com/death.care.coach
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkE5aFVFxWT46nNar91cLXw
Thu, 18 Jan 2024 - 31min - 125 - #123 The Experience of Aging and the Myth of Independence – Sonya Barsness, Gerontologist
Sonya Barsness brings theory and practice together in her work and teaching as a "revisionary" Gerontologist. How can we improve the experience of aging in the 2020s in the US? What would it mean to be more positive in our understanding and actual experience of aging? What do seniors need as they age? What do humans need at any age, and how do we keep it or create it as we grow older? Perhaps we could be fighting for a paradigm of aging that celebrates the experience of growing older, sees each older person as a unique person, and recognizes that aging is multi-dimensional!
Check out her website: https://www.sbcgerontology.com
Follow her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/SonyaBarsnessConsulting/m
Wed, 10 Jan 2024 - 31min - 124 - #122 A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death – Diane Hullet
Why is this one of my favorite books? How can a book like this have a positive impact on your view of your life *and* your death? What are some pragmatic topics we could benefit from thinking about? What are some of the thoughtful gems from authors BJ Miller, MD and Shoshana Berger?
Listen in as I talk about this book and see if you want to add it to your nightstand pile... A Beginner's Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death.
Thu, 04 Jan 2024 - 14min - 123 - #121 The Heart of Hospice and Best Life Best Death in Conversation - Helen Bauer and Diane Hullet
This week: a joint podcast with The Heart of Hospice and host Helen Bauer. This is swift-talking, wide-ranging, longer-than-usual chat! What brought me into end of life work? Why might any of us want a “supported death”? How can end-of-life workers bring an open mind to any death? How can caregivers be held, metaphorically and literally? What can we learn while in a relationship with hospice? How can we hold expectation vs hope? How do we support the multiple needs of various people involved in any caregiving situation? At the end of life, how do you begin to let go of the bonds of the world? *Bonus trivia: What’s Diane’s end-of-life playlist?
Wed, 27 Dec 2023 - 52min - 122 - #120 Choices at the End of Life Part 2: Dementia Advance Directives and Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking – Chaplain Hank Dunn
Description:This podcast is jampacked with content, including a discussion of advance directives for dementia, Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking, and a deep dive into decision making. In this week’s conversation, Chaplain Hank Dunn suggests a framework for thinking things through, including asking:
1) What’s the goal that you are trying to accomplish?
2) What would the patient want, and what does the patient think about their current and probable future condition?
3) What is in the best interest of the patient? and
4) What is the prognosis and probable consequences if a certain treatment plan is followed? Join us for all this good thinking and more!
Visit website: https://hankdunn.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hospicechaplainhank/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Hard-Choices-for-Loving-People-191343157564700
Join us for all this good thinking and more!
Wed, 20 Dec 2023 - 34min - 121 - #119 Choices at the End of Life Part 1: Crisis Decision Making – Chaplain Hank Dunn
When difficult choices arise around healthcare and the nearing end of life, Hank Dunn has some ideas to help us decide what to do. In his book, Hard Choices for Loving People, he suggests that families consider asking themselves and each other: What are we trying to accomplish? What’s the goal? Are we trying to cure? Are we looking to stabilize functioning? Or are we preparing for a comfortable and dignified death? This podcast is full-full-full of thoughtful content that is important for all of us to consider.
Thu, 14 Dec 2023 - 32min - 120 - #118 Three Doulas and The Doula Tool Kit – Diane Button, Gabby Jimenez and Angela Shook
What an honor to chat with three leading doulas and teachers, Diane Button, Gabby Jimenez and Angela Shook. Their new book combines the best of all that they know – over 30 years of experience with death and dying. The Doula Tool Kit: The Complete Practical Guide for End-of-Life Doulas and Caregivers provides “the guidance and tangible tools that people need to actually feel comfortable to sit with the dying.”
Learn more and get the book here -
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Wed, 06 Dec 2023 - 34min - 119 - #117 What Do We Mean by “New” and “Greener” After Death Care? – Eric Rooney, Regeneration Earth
Eric Rooney and I talk about what it might mean to have a “greener” mindset about death, and how “natural burial” is not new at all, in the Big Scheme of human existence. We talk about 5 ways we can care for bodies in Colorado: burial (buried traditionally in a casket, embalmed or not); flame cremation (the body is burned at high temperature, returning “ashes” to the family); water cremation (dissolving in alkaline hydrolysis, returning fluid to the earth in chosen locations); Natural Organic Reduction/Composting (the body decomposes in a specially designed vessel, ending up as nutrient dense soil); and natural burial (shroud or biodegradable casket, buried without embalming or cement encasement of the casket). What's your plan for after death care?
More about Eric and Regeneration Earth here - https://www.regenerationearth.org/
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Wed, 29 Nov 2023 - 33min - 118 - #116 Thanksgiving Gratitude – Hank Dunn, Chaplain
This week, in honor of Thanksgiving here in the US, I share a brief conversation with Hospice Chaplain Hank Dunn. He reads two moving pieces from his book, Light in the Shadows: Meditations While Living with a Serious Illness, and we talk about “letting go” versus “letting be.”
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathThu, 23 Nov 2023 - 08min - 117 - #115 Sharing the Stories and Artifacts of Our Lives – Heather Nickerson, Artifcts Founder
What’s the latest way to organize your stuff and plan for where it goes when you are gone? Enjoy my conversation with Heather Nickerson, Founder of Artifcts, who explains: “Artifcts is a new web- and app-based technology to help you capture, preserve and share the history, the stories, the meaning and the value behind all your stuff. And also, plan for what you want to do next with it? Sell, donate, keep in the family, bequeath, record that it’s already gone?”
Why do the stories behind our things matter? Why does having an easy way to *share* these stories matter? What’s the advantage of digitizing all of this? Can we do a better job of “connecting the dots” between generations? Heather and I will be breaking the myth that “no one wants this stuff.” (Hint: they don’t if it’s not easy and if they don’t know the story!)
Learn more here - https://artifcts.com/
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathThu, 16 Nov 2023 - 35min - 116 - #114 Dementia – How Do We Approach This Long Road? Kay Adams, Dementia Coach and Author
Dementia is disruptive, incredibly so. You can’t get help for what you don’t understand, so this path requires gathering information, pushing for an accurate diagnosis, educating yourself and those around you, and finding new approaches for everyone involved. Kay Adams shares valuable information from her extensive experience as a dementia coach: Why does getting an accurate diagnosis matter? Why is neurological screening by itself not enough? What is helpful for caregivers/carepartners to realize about their experience? Why is dementia on the rise, and what can we do? As Kay says in her book, Bedside Witness: Stories of Hope, Healing and Humanity: “This heartbreaking illness and the collateral damage it can leave in its wake is one of the most complicated journeys any human being may ever have to take.”
More about Kay here www.kaymadams.com
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathThu, 09 Nov 2023 - 39min - 115 - #113 What Is the Enneagram? - Renee Rosario, Narrative Enneagram
The Enneagram is a psychological and spiritual map… and a fascinating predictor of what motivates you, drives your responses to others and shows you where your edges are as you learn to be your best self. Who doesn’t want to have insight into themselves and others? Who can tolerate a ‘peek behind the curtain’ of their own blind spots? As I say in our conversation, “I think this is an interesting topic because what we know about ourselves and about how we interact makes such a difference for what we bring to the world and what we bring to our lives… and how we live is how we die.” There are many books, websites and ways to take an Enneagram quiz and find out your ‘type.’ Let me know what you learn!
Learn more about Renee at www.enneasight.com
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathWed, 01 Nov 2023 - 30min - 114 - #112 What is a Healthcare Advocate? – Ashley Bright, Founder of Life Journey Advisors
Ashley Bright asks an incredibly important question: Who can families turn to, in order to get guidance in navigating the complexities of healthcare these days? Geriatric care manager, healthcare/ medical/ patient advocate, health navigator, or social worker – whatever the name, there are professionals who can help with better understanding your journey in the maze of the healthcare system. How do we find someone? What can they do to help? What kinds of questions should we ask along the way?
Connect with Ashley here www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyrbright
Follow Life Journey Advisors here www.facebook.com/LifeJourneyAdvisors
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathWed, 25 Oct 2023 - 32min - 113 - #111 Living Fully and Dying Prepared – Francesca Arnoldy, Author and Community Doula
Francesca Arnoldy takes us into the Big Picture overview of why conversations about mortality matter. She notes, “We need to remember what it is to be mortal… and what it is to die… and what it is to grieve. We need to learn from one another and hear each other’s stories.” How does an open-minded parent, grandparent or teacher make a difference for a child’s experience of death? What is a legacy? How does reflection help us to integrate as we learn? And why does looking back and looking forward impact how we live? Francesca’s most recent book title sums it up: “The Death Doula's Guide to Living Fully and Dying Prepared: An Essential Workbook to Help You Reflect Back, Plan Ahead, and Find Peace on Your Journey.”
Learn more about Francesca and get her books at francescalynnarnoldy.com
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathWed, 18 Oct 2023 - 26min - 112 - #110 Do No Harm: A Conversation with Dr Diana Barnard, Vermont Palliative Care Provider — Dr Diana Barnard
Dr. Diana Barnard is one of those doctors you hope to have sitting in a room with you when decisions have to be made. Thoughtful, patient- and family-focused, able and willing to take the time it takes to think things through. She practices in Vermont, one of the first states to amend their laws so that non-residents can choose Medical Aid in Dying in that state. As she notes, “People want to be heard and understood. They want to know what their options are, and then they want to have a little say in what option makes sense for them… In almost any situation, it’s not black and white.” I think you’ll find value in her experience and insights about: Families and the End of Life, Autonomy and Choice, The Reality of Care Needs, The Longing for Options, Medical Aid in Dying, and more.
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathWed, 11 Oct 2023 - 32min - 111 - #109 Loose Ends: Finishing the Project Someone Else Started - with CoCreators Jennifer Simonic and Masey Kaplan
This world-wide project, called Loose Ends, started in 2022 and “aims to ease grief, create community, and inspire generosity by matching volunteer handwork finishers with projects people have left unfinished due to death or disability.” What do they and their mass of volunteer finishers take on? Knit, crochet, sewing, quilting, tatting, rug-making, embroidery, cross-stitch, weaving… to name just a few! Join us for this creative chat and find out about some of the projects have they finished (think: historical to quirky), plus why do such legacy projects matter?
More about Loose Ends here https://www.looseendsproject.org/
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathWed, 04 Oct 2023 - 26min - 110 - #108 Last Flight Home: A Family's Experience with the End of Life Option Act in California - Ondi Timoner, Filmmaker and Founder/CEO of Interloper Films
It is not often that a film captures some of the most tender moments of a family’s experience and shares the love and lessons from a beloved man at the end of his life. Ondi Timoner didn’t set out to make this film; what she intended was to capture the last days of her father’s life. But when she reviewed the hours of film from those last 15 days, and created a 30-minute compilation to share as a remembrance, people who saw it were so touched by the experience that Ondi realized a longer film was about to be born. Ondi and I discuss: What is the End of Life Option Act in CA? Why did Eli Timoner choose “death with dignity”? What was the trajectory of his life and how did he revise his understanding of “success”? How did this experience transform those around him? What can we all take away from Eli’s living and his dying?
For more info about the film: https://www.interloperfilms.com/lastflighthome
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathWed, 27 Sep 2023 - 30min - 109 - #107 This Conversation is for All of Us: Suicide - Cait Maddan, Death Doula/Educator with a Focus in Suicide Care and Conversations
Starting with material from her digital workbook called "How to Live with Suicidal Ideations," Cait and I discuss how to move from fear and a focus on “100% prevention” to a more reflective, supportive perspective. Let’s move away from stigma and move towards understanding. Let’s move from silence to conversation! What does “suicidal ideating” mean? What’s the difference between passive and active ideating? What can we do or say if we know or sense that someone is considering suicide? What can someone do to support themselves? How is conversation itself suicide prevention?
https://www.facebook.com/caitthedeathdoula/
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathWed, 20 Sep 2023 - 33min - 108 - #106 Dignity Day: The Experience of Choosing Medical Aid in Dying for Individuals and Families — Gabby Jimenez — Hospice Nurse, Doula and End of Life Educator
Hospice Nurse and dynamic educator, Gabby Jimenez shares thoughts from her latest book, “Dignity Day: A guidebook for anyone searching for comfort and clarity relative to the end-of-life medications.” This conversation goes beyond the logistics of MAID to get at the heart of what is happening for terminally ill individuals and their families. Why would someone choose MAID? How do others feel about that? What happens if we walk away? Can we make the space to “step into their shoes”? Written with compassion for wherever someone stands in relation to this experience – the terminally ill person, the spouse, the children, the loved ones – this book may help you have a thoughtful, feeling-informed conversation.
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathGabby's Website - www.thehospiceheart.net
Wed, 13 Sep 2023 - 29min - 107 - #105 We Will All Be Called to Care for Someone at the End of Life - Suzanne O'Brien RN
Founder of of the Doulagivers Institute, one of the largest doula training institutes in the US, Suzanne O’Brien RN shares her expertise and opinions about how we approach death and dying. With 98% of the hands-on care at the end of life done by family caregivers, she asks, “What can we do to support them? What do they need? What can we provide to fill in the gaps?"
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathDoulagivers - www.doulagivers.com
Wed, 06 Sep 2023 - 31min - 106 - #104 What Is the Role of a Hospice Chaplain? - Ellie Douglass and Kathy Gambino, Hospice Chaplains
This week enjoy the perspectives of two hospice chaplains, Ellie Douglass and Kathy Gambino. What does their job entail? What role do they play on a hospice team? What insights can they offer about when and how to use hospice? And most importantly – how do families benefit from what they bring to the experience of the end of life. As Ellie says, "The word 'chaplain' can be a little bit loaded, depending on your life experience. Our role is to walk alongside."
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath
Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathhttps://www.artoftransitions.com/
instagram.com/artoftransitions
Wed, 30 Aug 2023 - 27min - 105 - #103 How Talking about Death Changes Your Life - Aimee Yawnick, Death Doula and End of Life Coach
This week I talk with my friend and colleague Aimee Yawnick. She and I are both end-of-life coaches who teach classes and workshops + work with individuals. In this episode, we discuss: how talking about death changes your life; why conversations about mortality matter; how a class can help people grapple with big questions; what it takes to have accountability; what sorts of materials we bring to the table; and what people take away weeks and months later. Why have this conversation?!
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeathFacebook: facebook.com/aimee.yawnick
Wed, 23 Aug 2023 - 29min - 104 - #102 Why Bother with Social Media - Joyce Feustel, Boomer Social Media Tutor
As we age, one of the biggest things we need is social connections! Listen in as social media tutor and trainer Joyce Feustel and I talk about how social media creates connections – with family, friends, past-times, careers, hobbies, and “kindred spirit groups." How can social media platforms help? How do Facebook, Instagram and Linked In differ? What about http://meetup.com? How do we get started, if we don’t know how to begin?
https://boomerssocialmediatutor.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycefeustelsocialmediatrainer/
https://www.instagram.com/joycefeustelsocialmediatrainer/
https://www.facebook.com/boomerssocialmediatutor
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2s7fzNl0OaGg1jB4lmse1g/featured
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.comFollow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Wed, 16 Aug 2023 - 26min - 103 - #101 Another View of Dementia - Emerson Lee, Dementia Readiness Coach and Life Enrichment Specialist
Emerson Lee shares a view of dementia that broadens how we perceive the loss of cognitive abilities – and thus might shift how we deal with such changes. What if we put less emphasis on mental abilities and found ways to connect, relate and create? What if caregivers understood how to find the “micro delights” for each individual, thus supporting connection and regulation? What if your fears of dementia could be eased through greater understanding of possibilities and planning ahead? What if caregivers gained new tools and resources to support themselves and their loved ones?
https://www.makinghappymemories.com/
http://instagram.com/letsmakemoments
http://facebook.com/happymemorieseldersupport
https://www.youtube.com/@happymemorieseldersupport
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Wed, 09 Aug 2023 - 31min - 102 - #100 Let's Talk about Death and Dying - Penny Smith, aka Hospice Nurse Penny
Hospice Nurse Penny is everywhere on social media with her fast-paced, humorous, informative commentary, through which she offers education about death and dying. As a hospice nurse, Penny sees firsthand the misconceptions about hospice and how – when understood for its what it is and what it is not – “Hospice provides education and support and a team.” On BLBD podcast episode #100, we discuss how you “get on” hospice, in what ways families are supported when they choose hospice, the “right” time to visit, the “end of life rally” that is sometimes seen, and "quality of life over quantity of life." Bottom line: What do people need to know to take advantage of what hospice has to offer?
Find Penny on IG and FB:
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Wed, 02 Aug 2023 - 26min - 101 - #99 As Good as Hospice Can Be… There Are Gaps – Susan Elliott, End of Life Coach and Doula
When Susan Elliott’s mother was at home on hospice, she was cared for by her husband and adult children. These primary caregivers received a great deal of support from hospice, and yet – as Susan says, “There were gaps." Susan’s experience is not unique. In fact, many of us will find ourselves in this exact situation one day. How can we learn more now, in order to set ourselves up for when it happens? What are the gaps, and how might they be filled?
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Mon, 30 Oct 2023 - 29min - 100 - #98 The Experience of the Hospice Doctor's Widow: An Art Journal of Love and Loss - Jennifer O'Brien, Author and Artist
Jennifer and I talk about this rare treat of the book she created! Intimate, never preachy; concrete but not a self-help book; art-sy but so much more; personal yet applicable to so many. I love this book, in which Jennifer explores the death of her husband and her own survivorship, through the facts and the feelings of the experience.
https://www.hospicedrswidow.com/
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.comFollow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Thu, 20 Jul 2023 - 42min - 99 - #97 Bonus Episode #1 - Extra Material from Theresa Brown, Barbara Karnes and Avani Dilger
In this Bonus Episode #1, I tell you more about why I interviewed these people, and they each share more about themselves and their work. Hear more from Theresa Brown #62, Barbara Karnes #64, 65, 27 and 28, and Avani Dilger #69.
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.comFollow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Wed, 12 Jul 2023 - 30min - 98 - #96 How Is the End of Life Deck a Conversation Starter? - Lisa Pahl and Lori LoCicero, Co-Creators of The Death Deck
Lisa Pahl and Lori LoCicero met when Lori’s husband was dying, in his 40s. Together, they realized they could create a tool to help families and friends start conversations before it was too late. As Lori notes, “Why are we waiting until that [last] moment to talk about it… that’s when we don’t want to talk about it, that’s when it’s hardest to talk.” We need simple tools to get conversations going earlier in our lives and in ways that don’t feel overly heavy or overwhelming. That’s where the Death Deck and the EOL Deck come in. These two decks, designed with both multiple choice and open-ended questions, can help when we aren’t sure where to even begin.
Learn more at: Thedeathdeck.com
Wed, 28 Jun 2023 - 28min - 97 - #95 Caring for People with Disabilities at the End of Life: Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable - Carrie Batt, Death Doula and Grief Educator
Carrie is a doula and a sister to a man with disabilities. She wants people to consider how communication, comprehension and pain management are different concerns for the population she specializes in. How can medical teams understand more about their needs? Who speaks for them, if they cannot speak for themselves? What are their issues at the end of life, and how do they differ from the general population?
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Wed, 21 Jun 2023 - 27min - 96 - #94 What Is Organ, Eye and Tissue Donation? - Cheryl Talley, Director of PR and Communications for the Donor Alliance
Talking with Cheryl made me more keenly aware of the ripple effect that donations have in the world. Organ, eye and tissue donations are life-saving. We talk about how she got involved with the Donor Alliance, finding donor networks in your region, how science and medicine are constantly working to improve outcomes, and what is helpful for donors and recipients to know.
Learn more at: https://www.donoralliance.org/
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:
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Wed, 14 Jun 2023 - 31min - 95 - #93 Financial Matters: How Do You Know Which Questions to Ask? - Shane Phillips - Founder of First Steps Help
Let's delve into financial matters with expert Shane Phillips! As Shane says, “The genesis of my work is seeing that most people are not prepared.” We discuss how he got into this work and the broad categories of paperwork that we all manage, no matter how simple or complex our financial situation, including personal documents, asset documents, legal and tax papers, and liabilities. What are the things we need to get together when someone dies? How might we get this organized ahead of time? If we are in charge of managing the paperwork after someone dies, where do we begin? What do our loved ones need to know and have access to? How can we find help if we need it?
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Wed, 07 Jun 2023 - 21min - 94 - #92 Dying with Dad: Tough Talks for Easier Endings - Yvonne Caputo - Author
Yvonne Caputo felt compelled to write about her experiences with her father and family. She wrote "Flying with Dad: A Daughter. A Father. And the Hidden Gifts in His Stories from World War II" plus her second book, "Dying With Dad: Tough Talks for Easier Endings." In her work in retirement homes and as a psychotherapist, Yvonne knew that it mattered to have conversations about the end of life, and because she and her dad were able to have those, including working through "The Five Wishes," they gained trust, clarity and connection.
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Wed, 31 May 2023 - 35min - 93 - #91 It's Hard Being You: A Primer on Being Happy Anyway - Sharon Emery - Author
Working with a severe stutter in the field of communication, Sharon Emery faced huge challenges daily. Finding love, raising children, creating satisfying work – all of these laid the ground for losses and grief yet to come. Sharon’s approach to “limits” and “being happy anyway” can show us all what human resilience is about. As she says, “Limits don’t define our lives so much as empower us to shape them. We determine the trajectory of the story around the limits we face.” Sharon's book is a 2023 Michigan Notable Book, and as one of the judges for that award wrote: “How can you look at some of the challenges she’s faced and not think that’s a remarkable story?”
Wed, 24 May 2023 - 26min - 92 - #90 Donating Your Body to Science: Why? How? - Kate Serr - Admin Coordinator for the Colorado State Anatomical Board
Every state has a process to donate your whole body to science when you die. This week I talk to Kate Serr, organizer of this program for the state of Colorado and parts of Wyoming. Why do people decide to donate their body to science? What does that mean? How do you apply for this and what kind of deaths are accepted? An important take-away from this conversation: whatever your choice for what to do with your body after you die, talk abut it with your family in advance!
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Wed, 17 May 2023 - 21min - 91 - #89 Doulas… from the First Breath to the Last: A Conversation with a Birth Doula and an End-of-Life Doula - Gabby Jimenez and Claudia Peñate
This episode I talk with two doulas, Gabby Jimenez and Claudia Peñate. Both of them: work with individuals and families; offer guidance, support and education; are available before, during and after the experience; and bring expertise to common yet not-widely-known human events! They are similar but different, as one woman works with birth and the other works with death! How are these "bookends of our lives" similar and different? What kinds of support do these guides offer?
Find Gabby at: https://www.thehospiceheart.net/
Find Claudia at: https://www.claudiapenate.com/
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Wed, 10 May 2023 - 33min - 90 - #88 The Art and Science of Reconstruction - Monica Torres - Funeral Director, Embalming and Reconstruction Specialist
This week’s BLBD conversation covers embalming and reconstruction with Funeral Director and specialist Monica Torres. What is it? Who wants it? Why is it important for families? What makes it an art and a science? With cremation on the rise, is embalming still a thing? And how does Monica approach this very personal work? This conversation may even give you a new understanding and appreciation for the role that seeing a loved one's body plays in processing grief.
Find Monica at: https://www.nxtgenmortuarysupport.com/
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Wed, 03 May 2023 - 31min - 89 - #87 Patient-Centered Care and Medical Assistance in Dying - Dr Stefanie Green - Doctor, Author, Speaker, Educator
Dr Stefanie Green is a Canadian physician with a whole lot of experience and information to share about MAID. What is Medical Assistance in Dying in Canada? What feelings does Dr Green hear most commonly from patients? What is the hardest part of the work she has been doing since 2016? What is patient-centered care and why does it matter? What are the three things this physician would like you to take away from this conversation? This talk with Dr Green is longer than the usual BLBD episode -- I was going to create two parts, but decided it was just too interesting as one long piece. Stretch it out if you need to, but I bet you won’t be able to hit pause!
Visit her website at: https://www.stefaniegreen.com/
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Wed, 26 Apr 2023 - 54min - 88 - #86 What Does Active Dying Look Like? Julie McFadden, aka Hospice Nurse Julie - RN/BSN, Social Media Educator
Hospice Nurse Julie delves into the details of dying, so that we can all learn more ahead of time and be better prepared when someone we love is at the end of their life. “I know, as a hospice nurse who’s used to seeing a body dying, that this is very normal: their face is going to look different; their eyes are often open, not blinking; they are not making eye contact; mouths are usually open, as all our muscles are relaxing; breathing changes; they are usually not eating or drinking; and they are probably unconscious for the most part." All of this is normal – we just don’t know it, so we can find it unsettling at best and terrifying at worst. Julie and I have a mutual goal: to normalize talking about death.
Visit Julie's Website at: hospicenursejulie.com
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Wed, 19 Apr 2023 - 27min - 87 - #85 Help Texts: Expert Support in Hard Times - Emma Payne, Founder and Barbara Karnes, RN and Educator
So many people are struggling with grief, burnout, caregiving, and more. The idea behind Help Texts is to get expert support directly into people's hands - literally, in their hands, by appearing on their phone via text a few times a week. How does Help Texts work? What does it cost? Why would I want this for myself or a friend or family member? And - does it really help?? As founder Emma Payne says, “It’s incredible that just a few messages a week that speak to you, are, for many people, enough.” I kinda love the idea of Barbara Karnes and other true wisdom-carriers appearing in my text stream!
Find out more at: https://helptexts.com/
Find out more at: bkbooks.com
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Tue, 11 Apr 2023 - 35min - 86 - #84 Jack Has a Plan, A Documentary Film - Bradley Berman - Director
"Jack Has a Plan" is a 73-minute personal documentary which follows the story of a man diagnosed with a brain tumor. Director Bradley Berman says, “This is first and foremost a story. It is not an advocacy film for any particular outcome. It is just a story of Jack Tuller and what happened to him.” Yet this story is filled with so much to consider! Bradley and I discuss: How did this film come about? What was unique about Jack and his friends and family that made this film work? What does Jack’s experience have to share about living and dying? In this story of one man’s life, what are the enduring themes? What do audiences take away from seeing this movie? If you have a chance to see this film -- grab it! I can't stop thinking about it and will be sharing it online on 4/23/23.
Find out more at bestlifebestdeath.com/other-offerings/
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For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Mon, 03 Apr 2023 - 26min - 85 - #83 The Perplexing Fundamental Truth of Death - Jade Adgate - Founder, Farewell Fellowship
Jade and I were on such a roll when we recorded our podcast that, well, we just kept going! Part 1 is about death literacy, books we love, literature, how to find books that get you into these themes, and why reading about the end of life matters. (Hint: It influences our thinking in subtle but profound ways.) In Part 2, we talk about the role of doulas, the experience of hospice, what caregivers need, who typically calls in a death doula for a family, and some ethical ruminations -- because Jade is, at heart, a philosopher and doula!
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Mon, 20 Mar 2023 - 25min - 84 - #82 How Reading Shapes Our Experience of Death and Loss - Jade Adgate - Founder, Farewell Fellowship
Jade Adgate and I both love to read and we love to read books that expose us to new angles of death, dying, loss and grief. Sounds miserable, eh? But it’s honestly not. Through reading, we clarify our own thinking and values around these hugely human issues. Whatever you are reading, you can watch for these themes, and you can make it a point to read on hard topics long before you or a loved one needs the information. In this episode, we talk about 20 books that will increase your death literacy!
✨Being Mortal, Atul Gawande
✨When Breath Becomes Air, Paul Kalanithi
✨Giovanni’s Room, James Baldwin
✨In Love, Amy Bloom (BLBD Podcast #43)
✨When My Time Comes, Diane Rehm
✨Last Day, Dava Shastri
✨Crying in H Mart, Michelle Zauner
✨A Matter of Death and Life, Irvin Yalom and Marilyn Yalom
✨The Book of Two Ways, Jodi Picoult
✨The Spanish Love Deception, Elena Armas
✨On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous and Time is a Mother, Ocean Vuong
✨A Thousand Mornings, Mary Oliver
✨Late Migrations: A Natural History of Loss, Margaret Renkl
✨The Cancer Journals, Audre Lorde
✨Clear Cut: One Woman’s Journey of Life in the Body, Ginny Jordan
✨Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe, Laura Lynn Jackson
✨For Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World, Sasha Sagan
✨Death is But A Dream, Dr Christopher Kerr (BLBD Podcast #30 and #31)
✨With the End in Mind + Listen: The Art of Tender Conversations, Dr Kathryn Mannix
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Mon, 20 Mar 2023 - 27min - 83 - #81 Stuff: What to Do with It? - Louis Clough, Founder of Transitions by National Rarities
As a specialist in selling the many and varied items in an estate after someone has died, Louis Clough has some thoughts to share about stuff. How does the 80/20 rule apply to the material value of things in an estate? When should you sell vs keep something? How can sellers make sense of the options they have? Why is it important to think about our stuff now? Listen in, as Louis and I are about to cover a lot of stuff!
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Tue, 14 Mar 2023 - 19min - 82 - #80 Making Meaning at the End of Life - Rhea Mader, End-of-Life Practitioner
In her work as an end of-life practitioner, Rhea Mader finds herself in the deep end of the pool when it comes to conversations! Sometimes she simply brings the words dying and death into the room and that can make a difference. Sometimes she holds space for really big topics, such as "what meaning came from my life?" End of life doulas can add vocabulary, an objective presence, and the heart-to-heart piece that families and individuals might be seeking.
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Tue, 07 Mar 2023 - 28min - 81 - #79 Dr Ira Byock - Palliative Care Physician and Author - The Four Things that Matter Most
Dr Ira Byock - leader in palliative care, advocate for patients, and author - joins me this week. We discuss: What might it mean to “die well”? Why is the nature of serious illness more personal than medical? What are the “four things that matter most”? What does “forgiveness” mean? How do the phrases he writes about in The Four Things that Matter Mostapply to any of us, at any time in our lives? This week’s BLBD conversation really grabbed me, because it is about dying, sure, but it is far more about living… and living with humility and kindness.
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Episode
Wed, 01 Mar 2023 - 31min - 80 - #78 Rachel Donnelly - Founder and CEO of Black Dress Consultants - What Is an After Loss Professional and How Can They Help?
After Loss Professionals such as Rachel Donnelly play a unique role for all there is to be done after someone has died. Different from an attorney, more nuanced than an organizer, and with the know-how to do far more than just drop things off at a thrift store, Rachel can act as the ”air traffic controller” to manage the entire project of settling an estate. Whether it involves going through probate, deciding what to do with collections of unknown worth (Grandpa’s gold coins? Mom’s silver?), or filling out cumbersome out-of-state forms (transferring a car title in Minnesota?) – Black Dress Consultants can help!
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Episode
Tue, 21 Feb 2023 - 28min - 79 - #77 C.C. Boyce - Woodworker and Founder, Boyce Studio - Urns as Art
The range of unique urns is as wide as the artists who are making them! This week I talk with woodworker C.C. Boyce, who developed a two-part wooden urn suitable for the cremated remains of people or pets. They come in various woods and sizes, and there is space in the bottom for cremains and space on top for a plant. Hear how she got into this work and why one of her pieces might fit beautifully into your life.
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Episode
Mon, 13 Feb 2023 - 23min - 78 - #76 Samatha Trad - Natl Director of Care Advocacy, Compassion and Choices - Charting Your Own End of Life Journey Part 2
In Part 2 of our conversation, Sam and I talk further about compassionate options at the end of life. How have various state Medical Aid In Dying laws been passed? What part do data, numbers and personal stories play in helping us to better understand the issues? Why talk to your doctor about your values and options *now*? What compassionate end-of-life choices are there for those with dementia, and how could those be put in your Advance Directive today?How do the options of ending treatment, palliative sedation, or VSED (Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking) come into play? What does Compassion and Choices have to offer lay people, legislators, doctors, nurses, social workers, and more??
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Episode
Tue, 07 Feb 2023 - 25min - 77 - #75 Samantha Trad - Compassion and Choices, National Director of Care Advocacy - Charting Your Own End of Life Journey, Part 1
This week and next, Sam and I dive and digress into several aspects of the end of life. How do we die? How did the organization Compassion & Choices come to be? What is Medical Aid in Dying? What do I need to know about Advance Directives? How do the choices that I write down now impact my future? The organization Compassion and Choices has deep roots and a wide spread of branches, offering us information on a variety of topics for our end of life journey.
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Episode
Mon, 30 Jan 2023 - 29min - 76 - #74 Kayla Nakano - Co Founder, Rainbow Bridge Connection Podcast - Beloved Animals, Death and Grief
This week I talk with Kayla Nakano, one of the founders of a podcast about pet loss. Kayla and I talk about these loving relationships and the complex grief that can accompany their death – which is almost always so much sooner than we would like. What helps people through the loss of a beloved animal companion? What is “normal” for this type of loss? And how can we support friends and family through this experience?
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Episode
Mon, 23 Jan 2023 - 24min - 75 - #72 Kim Mooney - Founder, Practically Dying - How Do We Die? Part 2
This week Kim Mooney (thanatolgist and founder of Practically Dying) and I continue our conversation about “exit ramps.” Listen to learn about: palliative sedation, voluntary stopping of eating and drinking (VSED) and Medical Aid in Dying (MAID). What do each of these terms mean? What are the laws in various states? How do these processes work? What might these choices mean - legally, medically and personally? Kim and I discuss anecdotes from personal experience as well as broader questions of culture and ethics.
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Episode
Mon, 16 Jan 2023 - 34min - 74 - #71 Kim Mooney - Thanatologist, End-of-Life Educator and Founder of Practically Dying - How Do We Die? Part 1
This week I talk with Kim Mooney, long-time end-of-life educator and expert in the field. If you want to hear a couple of high-energy, fast-talking women discuss how we die… you’ve come to the right place! In Part 1 this week, Kim and I get into: keeping bodies alive vs people thriving; palliative care and hospice; exit ramps at the end of life - what are the various trajectories of how we die? And how can thinking about the end of life help us and our loved ones now and as we get closer to that exit ramp?
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Episode
Mon, 09 Jan 2023 - 31min - 73 - #70 Dr Rob Colbert - Transformation through Psychedelic- and Ketamine-Assisted Therapies
Rob and I discuss drugs like psilocybin, MDMA and ketamine. How are they impacting the therapeutic world and the end-of-life world? What can come from ketamine-assisted therapy? What might a few sessions of this look like? What are the origins of these plant medicines and how are doctors, therapists and the pharmaceutical industry working with them lately? Rob says that he sees people experience "really purposeful changes" from "having a few meaningful experiences.” Tune in to learn more!
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Mon, 02 Jan 2023 - 31min - 72 - #69 Avani Dilger - Founder of Natural Highs Community - Neuroscience, Connection and Addiction
Avani Dilger's career and calling in working with addiction, trauma, connection, and the existential questions that we all seek to explore began early in her life with the deaths of two friends. I would say that nearly everyone I know has been touched by addiction, so the questions we ask in the episode are vital to all of us: What is it that people seek through addiction? Why is this such an epidemic? We often label addiction as being about substances - drugs, alcohol - but what else are we addicted to? And, most importantly, what are other ways that people can tap into the longing for what they seek?
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Thu, 29 Dec 2022 - 31min - 71 - #68 - Diane Hullet - What Is Storyworth?
One of many online “story capturing” programs, I gave my dad a gift of Storyworth last Christmas. How did it work, what did he have to do, how did it all come together, and was it worth the time, cost and effort? I'll tell you about our experience plus a few thoughts about why I think sharing our stories matters. As author Charles deLint says, "We're all made of stories. When they finally put us underground, the stories are what will go on. Not forever, perhaps, but for a time. It's a kind of immortality, I suppose, bounded by limits, it's true, but then so's everything."
For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com
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Wed, 21 Dec 2022 - 16min
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