Binge Dieting

During this conversation with weight loss coach Deb Butler, you will hear about her personal journey with weight issues and her process when working with women with similar issues. We talk about thoughts, intuitive eating, emotional eating, how menopause is in some ways like adolesence, and about how finding peace in life is the backbone for change. The conversation went into all sorts of topics that can be helpful to anyone struggling with food and the body. 

For more information about Betsy, or to book an appointment, you can access her website here: www.betsythurstonrd.com

To find out more information about Deb Butler, you can connect with her through  her social media:

Betsy talks about the techniques offered in the book The Practice of Embodying Emotions by Raja Selvam, PhD. in order to help listeners learn a tool to help completely change their unwanted behaviors. She gives specific examples and case studies that are presented in the book. 

In this podcast Betsy talks about the artform of integrating the experience of fear in all its forms, using ideas from psychology and spirituality. Included in the discussion is a look at the problem of judgment towards the body and she teaches a specific exercise you can do to work towards body acceptance.  Finally, the podcast talks about the importance of refocusing attention away from problems and towards solutions, with specific action steps to take to help the nervous system get out of dysregulation. 

On this podcast Betsy interviews Dr. Paul Kolodzik, who specializes in the prudent use of weight loss drugs, low carbohydrate diets and blood glucose monitoring for people who have trouble losing weight. Insulin resistance is a very common condition in people with weight issues, and Dr. Kolodzik talks about his approach to working with this population . 

Listen to this practical and in depth interview here! 

Betsy talks about the brain's "habit" of addiction, eating disorders, pain, anxiety, and even OCD, and one approach to help recover.  She reviews concepts from a book called The Pain Habit by Drew Coverdale.  Topics include the subconscious and conscious mind, buidling resilence, and learning how to become your own healer.  

On this episode Betsy looks at some of the key components of intuitive eating and how to apply them more fully in order to obtain a new relationship with eating.  She also sprinkles in some of the ideas from manifesting, or the Law of Attraction. Topics include having the right mental approach, tuning into hunger and fullness,  looking at the satisfaction factor, considering emotional eating and remembering body respect.

In this episode Betsy talks about the specific skills involved with DBT therapy. She details what to do and how to use some of the best DBT practices, using examples from a client.  As always, she sprinkles in some spiritual concepts along the way. 

In this episode Betsy gives a mini book report on Jill Bolte Taylor's "Whole Brain Living" which  talks about integrating the brain's left and right hemispheres so that unwanted behaviors and habits can shift. She talks about the brain's connection with health, spirituality, and habits as it shows up in the micromoments of day to day life. This episode explains practical tools to help you change such as the 90 second rule and the brain huddle. It can be useful for people with eating issues and for people with ruminating thoughts, compulsive habits, and over active perfectionist tendencies. 

In this episode Betsy talks with Registered Dietitian and diabetes expert Ben Tzeel about how to successfully navigate mental struggles and food confusion that might come up for people with either Type I or Type 2 diabetes. We talk about some common struggles that might also happen with disordered eating. Even for listeners who don't have diabetes, this episode will have relatable topics for people trying to have a better relationship with food. 

Betsy shares one client's extensive list of future self ideals and talks about some of the ideas that came up during the session in which she shared them.  We talked about the body, about eating sugar, and about questioning thoughts for their truth. This podcast can give the listener more ideas about how to make effective intentions for createing a future self.

In this episode Betsy talks about the idea of creating your future self so you can learn to be that future self now.  She reviews key idea's from Benjamin Hardy's book, Be Your Future Self Now to help listeners apply the concepts to their struggles with eating, relationships, and other predicments. 

Betsy starts the podcast with a quick review of ideal foods and food goals and intuitive eating basics before shifting to a conversation about several clients who want to stop patterns of over reaction and anger.  She talks about working with brain habits, control, and learning how to live from the heart.  

Betsy talks about specific tools to use when confronted with the urges to overeat or binge eat, especially at night. At the very end Betsy talks briefly about a post from facebook from someone who is currently in the weeks after weight loss surgery. There is a lot in this episode that can help anyone improve their relationship with eating!

Betsy talks about the surprising and calming effect of learning the art of having no preferences. This is a counter intuitive concept that can have tremendous impact on the intensity of food cravings.  

Betsy talks about the system in play in the mind that often keeps people stuck in a cycle of chronic dieting or overthinking food and eating. 

She also announces her new live class over zoom which will begin the last week in March, 2023

This podcast talks about the critically important skill of understanding and listening to sensations in your body. It talks about the experiences of sensation as they relate to food, emotions, trauma, and behaviors. Uncomfortable sensations often precede episodes of overeating. Other times people get lost in thought and ignore their body. Learning from our sensations, and learning how to be with them in a new way can be transformative. 

In this podcast Betsy talks about the idea of refocusing attention onto love. It was inspired by NFL football players, who now wear helmets with love slogans! We can help our relationship with eating and our bodies by considering how to prioritize our thinking. 

In this podcast Betsy weaves together ideas from key spiritual teachings, the practice of intuitive eating, and anxiety. 

This episode reviews highlights from part of Yung Pueblo's book, "Lighter" and relates them to eating concerns. Betsy talks about some key spiritual concepts, meditation, risk, and radical honesty.  At the end she talks about how to apply exposure therapy to help challenge yourself.  

In this episode Betsy talks about key concepts helpful for success. She incorporates stories from clients including issues with food, anxiety, relationships, the body and self criticism. The theme touches on the work of internal family systems therapy (IFS), spirituality, and manifesting.  There is a lot to consider and learn! 

Betsy shares a conversation she had with Heather Russo, who is a clinician with Alsana center for the treatment of eating disorders.  We talk about common problems that come up with eating and body image during the holidays. In this conversation we include tools and tips and insights as well as a couple of client stories.  This episode will be relatable if you struggle with overeating, binge eating, anorexia,  fears around eating, or fears around the emotions that might come up with family.  It's a good one! 

Betsy talks about approaching anxiety in a way which might not be too passive or too active. Anxiety can be managed! She looks at anxiety as a broad concept and also how it might play out with eating and food cravings. 

Betsy has a conversation with the chief medical officer of Alsana, which has a small group of treatment recovery centers in the United States.  We talk about what happens inside of this treatment facility, who might want to go, what the prognosis would be if you did go, and what the characteristics of some of the frequent clients might be. 

This episode talks about Claire's attempt at weight loss and the pitfalls that she experienced along the way. During the last 10 minutes Betsy talks about the 9 enneagram personality types and questions that can help various personality types learn how to minimize problems. 

Diet programs and diets don't work in the long run. Learning intutive eating is helpful but not enough to manage extreme swings in eating behaviors or times when procrastination and excuses take over.  Many people have days or weeks or months or success followed by periods of not caring or not focusing on health or eating goals.  In order to create sustainable changes, Betsy talks about how to approach the problem from all angles.  Internal Family Systems Therapy is one tool that makes a big difference

This episode has lots of practical information about setting healthy habits and working with body image problems. We also talk about some life events that connected with what might have been spiritual guidance.  

In this podcast Betsy reviews Judson Brewer's book "Unwinding Anxiety", using his model of habit loops.  Betsy talks about her clients who struggle with certain habits such as anxiety, eating, or procrastination and talks about his premise that all habits exist because they provide value to the brain.  The solution to changing habits is easier than you would think!

In this episode Betsy talks with functional medicine practitioner Magic Barclay about how she changed her life from one with serious medical problems to a life of healing and joy. We talk about getting rid of toxicity, healthy eating, learning how to speak up, and about working with the psycho neuro endocine immune pathways (PNEI) in the body. 

You can work with Betsy privately or take her online class. Get more informaiton at her website, www.betsythurstonrd.com

Betsy talks with author and researcher Michelle Segar about 4 common traps that hook people into behaviors that might sabotage their efforts to achieve health or weight goals. 

Betsy talks with Dr. Sharon Grossman about the topic of priming the brain in order to maximize success. 

In this conversation with the podcast host of "The no BS Mama", Betsy and Meghan Eddinger talk about her journey away from feeling stuck and alone and overweight towards action steps such as exercise, body acceptance, and more.

Ten life lessons, from a source unknown, are the topic of this podcast. The lessons relate to wise truths about life and relationships.  The first lesson is this "You will receive a body and it will be yours for your entire life. You may or may not like it, but it will be yours to take care of".  Most people already know that taking care of the body involves in part eating an abundance of nutritious healthy foods and avoiding too many of the comfort foods.  Yet despite knowing this, many paople can't follow through with healthy eating goals. The lessons connect with broader concepts that might have something to do with staying the course with healthy eating ideals. 

Body checking, obsessive thoughts about eating and the body, or inner criticisms and judgments can be overwhelming.  In this podcast Betsy provides three concrete exercises that can help you manage the intensity of obsessive thoughts or inner criticisms about the body or eating.  

In this podcast Betsy interviews Christie Bettwy, who now runs Rock Recovery in DC. Christie talks about her long journey to freedom after years of obsessive dieting and overeating to the point of bingeing.  We talk about many related topics on this podcast that will be relatable to people who live on diets or those with a full blown eating disorder. 

This podcast has two parts. In the first 35 minutes Betsy has an interview with Lynne Bowman, who talks about her journey to a sugar free, flour free way of life. Lynne is the author of the cookbook Brownies for Breakfast, and she gifts us with some of her recipes.  In the second part of the podcast Betsy talks about tackling sugar addiction, the book Brain over Binge, setting boundaries, and a few other things. As usual, she discloses a story from one of her old clients.  

In this podcast episode Betsy talks with Rebekah Buege about body image, over attachment to beauty, giving away our power, social currency, and how changing our perspective can change our relationship with food. Rebekah is a coach and the author of the book Social Currency. 

In this podcast Betsy and Leslie talk about the many things Leslie had to overcome and understand in order to succeed on her journey of losing 100 pounds. Leslie is the author of the best selling book, "You Can't Eat Love". This conversation is both inspiring and informative and will help anyone who has struggled to change eating behaviors.  

Debilitating and frustrating symptoms of pain, bloating, heartburn, and IBS can be improved by two methods. I talk about each method and how you can start a process of change today.  Mind body syndrome is a very real and difficult condition, and I talk about this during the last 10 minutes of the podcast.  For those who suffer, good luck! Betsy

In this episode I share a conversation with chef Tina McDermott who shares her best tips for quick and easy recipes and grab and go food ideas. We also talk about supplements, digestive issues, GMOs and organic items, and weight loss.  The specifics about food and recipes starts at about ten minutes into the podcast. 

In this podcast I share a conversation with Dr. Carolyn Ross, who specializes in the treatment of eating disorders and emotional eating. We talk about many things, including the brain, supplements, trauma, therapy, the inner critic and judgment and forgiveness. 

In this podcast Dr. Amy Johnson talks about her approach to helping people who struggle with anxiety or with all extreme or unwanted habits.  Amy looks at life from the big picture, and her model is very different from most models of change available today.  Betsy uses the model of Internal Family Systems Therapy, and the conversation explored the differences in these two ways of working with people.  This conversation brings up people who have had many different experiences that were difficult, such as feeling invalidated, experiencing stress from the physical effects of sugar, and feeling worry or shame over the body.  In this interesting conversation Amy's approach was unusual and refreshing; she constantly zoomed her lens way out to the bigger picture. 

In this conversation with Nancy McKay, Betsy and Nancy talk about her recovery from alcohol dependence and self criticism.  A lot of ideas are presented in this podcast, from noticing thought, living in your "truth" versus pretending, anger, feeling your feelings, and finding freedom. Listeners who might use food or alcohol in excess, or who live a life that doesn't feel authentic or fulfilling will benefit from hearing her story. 

Nancy is a life coach with a "special twist". She uses equine therapy for clients who come to her ranch in Colorado. Listen to the full episode to hear her full story! 

In this conversation with Julie Allen, she talks about her journey from inpatient treatment to a life without the extreme behaviors that went along with her  eating disorder. Julie talks about OCD and anxiety, about what got her to wake up and find the courage to stop obsessively worrying about her body and her calorie intake, about weighing herself, about  intuitive eating, and about clothing and dressing in a way that feels comfortable and which allows for days when her body feels heavier than normal. At the end Julie also talks about her approach to food and eating as she parents very young children. 

This conversation will be helpful to those who struggle with disordered eating or those who have a more extreme pattern of eating issues which are best helped by inpatient care. 

Julie now owns a women's clothing boutique which caters to all sizes of bodies, and donates a portion of all sales to help those who need eating disorder treatment but can't afford it. She is the founder of the Mary Rose Foundation, which helps support education and funding for eating disorders. 

Manifesting is a popular term these days, and it is the process of making your dreams a reality. 

Manifesting doesn't always work though, and that's why it is best to break the goal into small pieces at first. It's also key that you spend some time feeling the emotional blocks that might be in the way first.        

Going on a diet usually requires rigid and even punishing rules around food. When dieting we deprive ourselves, and then beat ourselves up when we make the smallest mistakes. If your body has too much weight on it then it’s true, it makes sense to take in fewer calories in a day or a week in order to make that happen.

The problem is that the diet mentality is short lived and stressful and everyone reverts back to eating to soothe or for other emotional reasons. The happy medium is to find a way to set a boundary with food without dieting. 

In this episode, I show you how to do just that. When we look past our constant need to be in control, we can better assess whether we are truly hungry or using food to numb and avoid. I encourage you to take a step back and get honest with yourself in the moment of eating about what you’re feeling or believing. If it’s not true physical hunger, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you put the fork down? What if you can just be with what’s there without the food?

If you want to learn more about how to set a boundary with food, tune in to the episode!

Discover the difference between setting a boundary with food and dieting. Learn to sit with the discomfort that comes with setting food boundaries. Identify instances when dieting may be beneficial.

Our minds are always reverting to some form of fear, even though it might be rooted in a memory buried way down under the surface. We all have a need to be needed, to feel good enough, to fit in and to feel a sense of purpose. Our life experiences will always give us opportunities where we feel the opposite though, so we often  live in a state of trying to prevent feeling one thing or another that might expose our insecurities. It’s normal to try to calm our looming insecurities or to distract ourselves with food, even though the added weight gain will increase those insecurities.

What happens next? We get stuck in a state of overthinking and planning and dieting, leading the mind to panic and make up exaggerated stories about the consequences of extra weight. The mind now shifts its focus to the body rather than other sticky and unsolvable obstacles that might come our way in life. 

Overthinking is not helpful. 

A simple but powerful antidote to an overthinking mind is to take a step back and ask these questions: 

A food boundary can be helpful when it’s gentle; when it’s not about dieting or restricting but about noticing when you’re disregarding your goals for health. It can be helpful as you learn how to eat intuitively. It can be a helpful signpost to remind yourself that you might want to not eat those chips or that cookie so you can stop and check in with the inner world. It’s listening to your body and asking, “Why do I want to eat this food right now?” It’s probing the depths of your mind and being curious instead of mindlessly eating.  

You might want to zero in on the foods or social settings when you often habitually eat too much and choose in advance to create a boundary. For example, before going out or before sitting down for the evening alone at home you might decide what you want the eating experience or the being at home alone experience to be like. Wherever the problem eating is happening, this is where you write down a goal for a boundary. You might try a boundary around chips or ice cream or the amount of sugary foods in a day or eating second portions. 

Often overeating is a chance for you to rebel against your own rules or society’s rules or your partner’s rules about beauty. It could just be a way to not feel things. It could also be connected to a happy emotion; it can be a way to connect to others, to experience joy and freedom and to enhance a fun situation. There are hundreds of different reasons why people might overeat or eat even though they’re not hungry, or when they deceive themselves and convince themselves they are physically hungry when they’re not. If you don’t investigate this, the patterns might never change. 

I don’t think it’s a good idea to be on a strict diet and to ignore true hunger. Just notice when you’re overeating. As you become more self-aware, the next step would be to enforce a food boundary and be with the discomfort involved with dismissing the urge. It can be noticing the short moment between that next bite and you saying, “That’s enough, no more”. 

When you put your fork down, you make a conscious decision to face life instead of using food as a coping mechanism. You might realize that your fears are largely unfounded. You will be okay. Once you get honest with yourself and acknowledge your fears, you’re generally going to be alright. 

A food boundary is you saying, “Fork down. I am looking forward to feeling whatever is going to come up right now. Bring it on, life.” 

However, in some cases and for some people, a diet may be beneficial. Sometimes after a period of indulgence your body might appreciate an internal detox. Rather then a diet as a means for weight loss and control, a “diet” that restores balance to the body is occasionally not a bad thing. This process is listening to what your body wants you to do. So it’s not really going on a diet, it’s paying attention to your body.  

This process becomes harmful when we get overly attached to the outcome, such as with an intense need to lose a lot of weight or look different. 

A temporary “diet” can help people embrace low-calorie and nutrient-dense foods. It reboots our taste buds by incorporating healthier alternatives. The brain learns to appreciate and enjoy simpler foods.

A “diet” also encourages people to put more effort into planning their food choices. When you diet, you plan to make sure you're not caught off guard in stressful or overwhelming situations. With a plan in mind you manage to stay on track even when you’re too busy or tired to whip up something healthy. It’s not even really a diet; it’s basic self-care.  

When we make a plan, we let our logical planning center take the lead instead of the fast-acting and fearful part of our brain. Planning ahead means overbuying healthy foods with long shelf lives while underbuying convenient, fatty, and sugary items. 

It also means that you don't go to the grocery when you’re hungry or tired. If you do, you’re aware of this and have made a list, so you don’t purchase food impulsively.

Setting a food boundary and following through with it would mean that you tap into a source of internal strength. It requires listening closely to your body rather than giving in to the subconscious brain. 

The benefits of a food boundary may not be immediate, but they add up over time. When you set a food boundary, you are willing to forego immediate gratification to embrace difficult experiences that are a natural part of life. You train your brain to find another way to be present with discomfort.

At the end of the day, the best “diet plan” isn’t a diet. It’s a way of life that has three general rules:

Pay close attention to the thoughts that go through your head before eating. Ask the why.
Why do I want to eat this so badly?  Why is it difficult for me to just be present? Why do I believe I need this food to be happy?
Plan ahead for food availability.   Forgive yourself when you overeat and then regret it. Pick yourself up and try again. 

In the end, there is no one-size-fits-all approach that you can follow. Only you can figure out what’s best for your body and what feels good for you. But it’s important to know that a food boundary can exist without a diet. It all starts with paying attention and taking the time to get to know yourself. 

“The only reason these things are scary is because I created a story in my mind that unless my body looks different, I'm unacceptable, I'm not enough, people are judging me. It's this big deal. And that's the joke. We made it up.” 

“Imagine what would happen if you just noticed the human impulse, to control, to fix, to worry, to create stories, and you just sat with it, what would happen? Nothing. You would be fine.”

“Our fast-thinking brain is all about immediate gratification. All you need to do is to be willing to slow down enough and get calm enough inside so you cannot be derailed by an overactive, fearful, fast-thinking subconscious mind.”

“It's about asking what your deepest, truest part of you needs, way deep down, the real you, so to speak, rather than the part with an agenda to numb, to avoid, or to not miss out.”

“People think that there is one correct amount of protein or carbs or fat and there was one correct amount of ratios, and there is one correct solution, and there isn't one. So this is about you figuring out for yourself, what fits for your body and what feels good for you.”

Have any questions or want to take my online class or schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Have you ever built up good eating habits, only to return to old ones later on? It hurts when it happens. You might feel disappointment, frustration, sadness, guilt — but it’s okay to feel these things. They’re all normal emotions to have. It’s also normal to falter occasionally.

In this episode, I discuss why we often self-sabotage when changing our eating habits. No, it doesn’t speak about your worth or ability. You may be looking in the wrong place entirely. Changing habits is a long journey made of small steps, and it’s going to have obstacles and challenges along the way. It’s more important to remember that you can choose how to act and react. Take these challenges as gifts and opportunities.  

Before I recap the show notes I want to alert listeners that I started a class last March 9, 2021 and you can still sign up to catch up with our lessons. 

This transformative class includes a lot of weekly content, as well as Zoom sessions from 7:30 to 9 pm Eastern time. The next zoom session is Tuesday March 22. The class includes pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, and membership in a small Facebook community. It is packed with content and comes with a money-back guarantee! You can't take this class and not begin to understand the roots of your eating habits that you might be frustrated with. From this understanding will come change. 

To sign up for the class or to get private help, visit my website.  You can also send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com.

Learn how you can change troublesome eating habits. Learn how you can you make the change as a process of small incremental steps. Learn more about the understanding that life happens to us, by us, for us, and through us.

Many of my clients come to me and say they have a habit of not following through with their resolutions. Of course, this is frustrating, and many feel guilty and lose trust in their ability to change. 

Here’s a little secret: what works is a small, gradual change. You cannot change everything overnight. 

We all have habits that stem deeply from childhood or past experiences. These habits can affect our thinking, our emotional state, and our eating patterns. When we want to change our habits, we need to focus on what lies within us. 

There are two main things to consider when changing behavior: deep reflection and specific habits. 

Specific habits should focus on making things happen the way you want them to happen. Examples of habits are food timing, food planning, and food quality, and shopping habits.

Remember, it takes time and patience to change behaviors. It is why we need to be honest with ourselves and reflect on what we can do one step at a time. Make one or two reasonable and achievable goals at a time and focus only on that. 

One way to start changing your eating habits is intuitive eating. It is the practice of noticing when you’re hungry or full. It’s about tuning into what your body might want and need. 

What can specific goals look like? Here is a quick list for you to consider: 

Remember, your goals need to suit you. It’s going to be different for everybody. Small incremental changes over a long period will be more sustainable. 

The first day we resolve to change, we usually feel confident and determined. However, as time passes, it gets more difficult to stay enthusiastic. Eventually we stop caring and self-sabotage. 

When we change habits and incorporate new ones, it is a long process. We’re continuously building skills. It won’t be perfect all the time, and there will be days when we get overwhelmed with stress. 

That’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up due to these small setbacks; get back up and trust in the process.

You’re not alone in this. Tune in to the full podcast episode to hear a similar story about one of my clients. 

Life happens to us; we can’t always choose the events that happen in our lives. Experiences can make us feel powerless, inadequate, scared, judged, and unattractive. These feelings can stay with us for a long time if we don’t know how to work through them. 

Sometimes, we take on roles and behaviors to avoid painful feelings and experiences. Life happens by us as defense mechanisms against something else. 

When we think life happens to me, we can become control freaks or feel helpless or victimized.  We will keep putting attention on where we’re lacking and our problems. 

The moment we start accepting that life happens through our perceptions and reactions to it, we take responsibility. We realize that we can respond differently. We don’t need to be in control all the time, and that’s okay. 

Life happens for us. Many people believe that things in life happen for a reason. I choose to believe that life’s obstacles can be lessons or realizations. Without these struggles we wouldn’t learn important lessons. 

You are a gift to the world. You don’t have to look like other people. Just focus on what makes you ‘you.’

Remind yourself to live your life in the present moment. 

It’s normal to go through problems in life. 

I have three children , and my middle child was a “nightmare” from a very early age. I read every parenting book I could find and hired experts to help me, yet he continued to present me with ongoing struggles. In his teens he fell into a life of extreme drug addiction which lasted 10 years. He was repeatedly sent to jail, was kicked out of drug program after drug program, and manipulated and lied—as addicts must do to survive. I had to exercise tough love. He had times of homelessness. Over the years, I tried everything to help, but it was a problem I could not fix. My grief and panic consumed me. 

During this time, I stumbled upon the concept of ‘life happens for us.’ This concept changed my life. It gave me relief and acceptance and I was able to stop trying to be in control. I learned to just trust life. 

Listen to the full episode for a full account of the struggles I had with my child and how it all turned out. (Even at the time I recorded this podcast I couldn’t have predicted the astonishing turns his life would continue to take. He is now part owner of two drug rehabilitation centers and is currently building an inpatient hospital for people who suffer from mental illness)

We all get stuck. Feelings of fear and inadequacy can convince us that there’s a magic answer out there, and we end up looking in the wrong direction. 

Step back and ask yourself, what is it that I really want? Look at the big picture. 

Every challenge is a gift and an opportunity for growth and change. 

“Your mind has this habit of wanting to toe the line: a bite here, an excuse there, and we keep doing that over and over. And then, of course, we're frustrated, we're guilty, we're sad, and we don't trust our ability to stay on a diet or have success.”

“It's much better to just make one or two reasonable goals and to focus only on that, and to relax and be patient and accept that the process of behavior change takes time.”

“You just need to be clear on where you specifically get tripped up and where you specifically need improvement or would like improvement. It's very different for everybody.”

“A goal of learning how to honor the body and listen to the body is much more effective and helpful than a goal of weight loss.”

“Life happens to us, life happens by us, life happens for us, and life happens through us. . . These concepts are radically important to understand if we want to yank ourselves out of our recurrent patterns.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about the mind and its relentless overthinking, which leads to behaviors that don't serve us well. The brain at any moment is just doing what all brains do, which is trying to help us.   In this podcast she talks about the polyvagal theory and how your nervous system is designed to help you, even as it can trap you into unwanted states of being. 

By understanding the brain and the nature of thought you can learn to relax your attachment to unwanted behaviors.  

We need food to feed our physical hunger, but at times we eat only to feel better emotionally.  

In this episode, I will help you understand addiction from the perspective of an addict and will discuss concepts from some authors in the spiritual and recovery movement. I will share some of my clients' insights on Overeaters Anonymous (O.A.) and will also talk about O.A.'s fundamentals. Like any 12 step program, the solution is a spiritual one.

The class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, membership in a Facebook community.  In this class, I will teach you how to access your own innate spiritual guidance so you can learn how to correct problems with eating. This is not related to a 12 step program, but will combine spiritual concepts with science. I am so confident that it will help you that I offer a money back guarantee! 

If you would prefer more individualized help rather then the class, contact me so we can schedule a private virtual session.

To sign up for the class or get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Understand addiction from people with compulsive behaviors. Learn how O.A. works. Discover ways to tackle addiction from a spiritual perspective.

Food addiction and binge eating are not that much different from other forms of addiction. For this reason, we can also learn from those who struggle with substance abuse or alcoholism.

In the book God of Our Understanding: Jewish Spirituality and Recovery from Addiction, the author talks about addiction's mysterious power and illness. He explains that most addicts cannot even understand why they cannot leave the thing destroying their lives. In this situation, it is time to try spiritual solutions.

The author studied addiction from a purely biological perspective. He then shares its relation to mental illness. He also observed a recovering addict who suddenly relapsed.  He concluded that addiction is not biological, nor is it mental. 

For an addict, food addiction is not the problem. Rather, it is a solution to feeling better. They continue because they have not found a better solution. People who compulsively eat do not eat out of fun but out of necessity.

From the start, the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous presented a key statement which shaped the program: "and we prayed to whatever God we thought there was." Every human needs a spiritual connection. 

Although many people can live without a spiritual connection, addicts without it are miserable and can become worse. Without having a spiritual awakening, some addicts turn back to their addiction.

Betsy has clients who have both hated and loved their experience in O.A. This response may have depended on their personality, situation, or the feel and tone of their local group.

The OA literature consists of questions aimed at determining whether or not O.A. is for you. 

Listen to the podcast for the details of these O.A. fundamentals and the concept of spirituality as a solution. 

In the book, Radical Recovery, the author talks about the principles of a higher power and that we do not need a higher power to recover. Instead, we need a higher self that can tap into the power that lies within us. 

To further explain, he uses a banana as a metaphor. A banana’s outer layer is represented by different religious groups. He believes that the specific religion should not be the focal point. We should seek the inside of the banana for that sense of beingness.

The author of Radical Recovery says that there is no need to do the 12 steps in order. It may be better to engage in a daily practice of prayer and meditation.

This author sees a potential mental block with the belief that we are powerless over our addiction (this is a core belief in the 12 steps). Because you believe that you are powerless, you are bound to give in to your addiction. We are afraid to claim our  power because of the risk of failure.

To avoid this thinking, it comes down to focus. By vigilance, we can guard our thoughts and train our spiritual muscle from obsessive thoughts. In this way, you will be able to connect to the God of your understanding.

If we believe that we are worthless, the shame and fear controls us and makes us shrink from life. To provide further insight, the author tells a story about an eagle who grew up with chickens. Unfortunately, this eagle dies without realizing his true potential. Visit the podcast for the rest of this story! 

This story introduces the acronym S.O.A.R. for a guide on how to believe in yourself.

“I hate the word wrongs ... because I am a believer, strongly, that at any given minute in time we do the best that we can. … So in that moment, it's right to us when we're binging on food, it is the solution that is working. “

“If you focus on the banana, not the peel, that's when you can ask to access the ability to change fear into courage, to change resentment to forgiveness, to change anger into peace, to change self-pity into gratitude, to change lust to intimacy. “

“If you consider the amount of time that you spend on thinking about your addiction, and how to feed your addiction, and if you just decided to put that same amount of time into meditating, then you would be meditating for hours a day possibly. And therefore the phrase I don't have time is unacceptable.” 

“The greatest obstacle is our unwillingness to believe that we are powerful beings.” 

“If you are struggling, please get help. Your life on this planet is meant to be powerful. You're not meant to play small.” 

My 10 week course can help you heal the shame that lies at the core of addiction. To enroll or to work with me privately you can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Our society values thinness very highly. We see it in the media, major industries, and in our culture. Thus, we internalize the need to be thin and work towards achieving that throughout our lives. But how far will you sacrifice your happiness to be thin? We tend to forget that we are more than how we think our body looks because of these false stereotypes.

In this episode, I discuss the core of the belief systems that drive binge eating and chronic dieting issues and debunk the concept that thinness brings happiness. Make sure to tune in to the full episode to keep your perspective in check about wanting to be thin. My discussion will help you take the first step in taking back your power to create balance in your mind.

Give yourself a gift by enrolling in this transformative 10-week class. It will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, and membership in a Facebook community. It is packed with content and comes with a money back guarantee! You can’t take this class and not begin to understand the roots of your eating habits that you might be frustrated with.

If you would prefer more individualized help, I am also available for this. 

To sign up for the class or to get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Recognize the importance of our early childhood experiences on our present day value system. Where and when does the “importance” of being thin start? Discover how you can shift your focus from wanting to be thin to seeking happiness. Consider the connection between our spiritual being and our physical body.

Society values thinness very highly. It’s in our standards of beauty, our culture, and our media. However, we have taken it out of balance to the point that we're hanging our life purpose to this one thread of thought. This thread can destroy the bigger picture of having a wonderful life and tapping into our gifts and real purpose.

Wanting to be thin starts with the message we get as young children. Well-meaning parents present messages to children about body weight and food, either subtly or blatantly. They feel that they are fixing a problem, rooting from their personal fears, by doing this. Often parents see their children as extensions of themselves.

If you encounter these messages daily, you start to internalize the idea that there's something wrong with you if you don't have a particular body. Consider whether you might have misinterpreted these messages relating to being thin. Consider the idea that these conclusions might have been just confused thoughts with no basis in real truth.  You’re innocent. There was never anything wrong with you. 

Remember, you don’t need fixing if you are not thin; you are still enough.

Taking back your power and changing your focus does not mean you should stop caring about how you look. It also does not mean that you should ignore those times when your eating habits and in disarray. Taking back your power involves examining your belief system and recognizing that your attachment to being thin might have gotten out of hand. Part of freedom from body anxiety lies in the ability to find balance.

There is no truth in the stereotype that being thin equates to being happy. This is what Joni Edelman shared in her article, How Do I Learn To Love My Body After Losing Weight? Her focus on thinness had her doing things she didn’t like — from eating food she didn’t enjoy to obsessing over every detail of her body.

Betsy talks about her article in the podcast. Joni reminds us that our happiness or sadness doesn't depend on how thin or fat our body is. Sometimes letting go of some things related to your weight can open doors to what matters regarding your happiness.

The world wants you to be thin and preys on your insecurities. Thin doesn’t mean happy. Fat doesn’t equate to unhappiness. If you want to really blow people’s minds, be fat, healthy, and happy.

There’s nothing wrong with losing weight. If you feel uncomfortable in your body, if you have medical issues, or if your body aches, it’s okay to do things like exercise and change your diet. But you also have to hold the truth that you don’t need to be thin to be happy.

If you hold tight to the belief that “I must be thin to be happy,” or “I must be thin to have value,” you will be out of balance in life. That belief will be a block for you.

There is a powerful passage in the book A Course in Miracles that talks about our physical and spiritual being. A Course in Miracles is a course in changing from fear to love, in recognizing that our minds are run by our powerful ego. Your ego, in its arrogance, has convinced you that your body is you. But your body is a ripple in an ocean. Often, we think that our body is all that we are, but it is not — who we truly are is the powerful spiritual being inside our physical bodies. 

“I am not a body; I am free.”

“To set the record straight, can we please line up with the truth: if you are not thin, there is nothing wrong with you. If you are not thin, you are still enough. You don't need to be fixed, and it will have nothing to do with whether or not people would love you.”

“Happiness does not require thinness; fatness does not presume sadness.”

“10 pounds are insignificant when compared to my willingness to let some things go—to sit with my kids, to sleep. I'm happy. I'm fat, and I'm happy.”

Byron Katie: “If I could have one prayer in life, it would be: Dear God, spare me from the approval, needing the approval of others. Amen.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

If you’re struggling with binge eating, you’ve thought at least once that recovery is not possible. You fall short of your goals, and you think that’s it. You can’t possibly reach the other side anymore because of this one slip-up.

But sometimes, your body has a mind of its own and may not act in a way that aligns with your goals. But once you free yourself of this obsessive thinking, you’ll discover that the hard days are part of the healing process and you need to trust it. 

In this episode, I discuss how a lack of trust is one of the biggest blocks to success. I share tips on how to appreciate your food habits and restore your trust in your body and the recovery process. 

Tune in to this episode if you want to learn how to challenge your thinking and live a happier, more hopeful life. 

The transformative class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, membership in a Facebook community. It is packed with content. You can’t take this class and not begin to understand the roots of your eating habits that you might be frustrated with. I am so confident that it will help you that I offer a money back guarantee! 

If you would prefer more individualized help, contact me so we can schedule a private virtual session.

To sign up for the class or to get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Discover how to listen to your body and commit to the journey of intuitive eating. Learn how to stay in the present tense and be mindful.  Find out how to challenge fear-based thoughts. 

Most people tend to be self-critical, mistakenly believing it’s the only way to achieve their goals. However, countless behavioral studies show that negative self-talk makes people less likely to meet their goals.  

Learn to relax your “should haves” around eating – be it your list of safe and unsafe foods, a designated time to eat, or all the rules you think you should follow. Entertain the possibility that you might be wrong and calm down long enough to listen closely to your body.

When we talk about relaxing, it means trusting yourself around food and trying out some in your unsafe category in small quantities.  

The trick is to be self-aware and stay present while eating. Give that cookie your full and undivided attention. Savor the flavors and the textures. Don’t go too far off into the future or use the cookie to disassociate from your body. Direct your thoughts to the present moment and the current experience of eating. 

Once you’re done, slow down and appreciate the food. Over time, you can learn to trust yourself enough to sit around “scary” foods and eat normal-sized portions with no guilt. 

One or two cookies aren’t enough to tip the scales, nor are there any magic foods that will make you fat or thin. When you obsessively follow the rules down to the tiniest detail, you’ll only end up being frustrated. 

Sometimes, your body may not give you the outcome you expected due to various physiological factors at play. It’s impossible to know for sure how your body is going to react. Don’t spend too much time worrying about that number on the scale that you’re not available for all the other good things in life. 

Understand that some things are outside your control. To demand certainty and not get it in return, can be quite stressful. Don’t give power to those numbers on the scale — embrace the uncertainty and don’t forget to relax into the process of life. 

Sometimes, the problem is not the food itself but the fear of it. So, eat only when you’re physically hungry. Eat what your body is craving and stop once you’re satisfied. Remember: you can always have more later since eating is not a one-time thing.   

If you’re not hungry, don’t eat your feelings. Allow yourself to feel the entire spectrum of emotions. No amount of numbing through food will satisfy your body when you repress what is supposed to be felt. 

When you embark on this journey, know that it’s not instantaneous. It’s not as easy as snapping your fingers and being done with it. 

Every once in a while, you may fall back into your bad habits. As long as you're going in the right direction, that's fine. There’s no need to punish yourself for that small, temporary weight gain. Along the process, you’re sure to gain more knowledge and freedom about yourself that can last a lifetime.

When you look at the people you love or admire, their weight is hardly the first thing that matters to you. It’s their values or qualities that make them stand out. 

You’re the same person even if you’re plus or minus 10 or 20. When you go on this journey, you’ll realize that the number on the scale is insignificant in the greater scheme of things. You are more than just a number.

To trust in life means to quiet the destructive thoughts in your head. Consider the possibility that these may not be accurate. Question them relentlessly and challenge the beliefs that are not serving you in this journey. With awareness and clarity, take control of your mind and start looking at things in a different light.    

Sometimes, bad things can bring the most value. It’s in our darkest times that we learn and understand ourselves. Only when you let go and trust life in those awful moments can you grow stronger. Trust that everything will make sense, and life happens for your benefit, even if it doesn't appear that way right now.  

“If you can allow yourself to just put one foot in front of the other and trust the process, trust life, and trust your body for a lot of you, then I really think it can be a game-changer.”

“You can't be mindful if your thoughts are in the future or you can't be mindful if your thoughts are shut off, and you're not even thinking.”

“Sometimes it's not the food or the weight; it's the fear.”

“The rule of thumb is if you're not hungry physically, but you want to eat, then feel. Allow yourself to feel. You won’t die. You need to feel. No amount of numbing is going to satisfy the body’s need to feel.” 

“Aren't you the same person plus or minus 10, or 20, or 30, or even 50, or whatever?”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Who doesn’t make excuses? From skipping the gym to overeating when we’re full, we can eke out any and all excuses about why we can’t stick to our health goals.

Most of the time, we do this subconsciously. In fact, the excuses come from little parts inside of us that have a need. They seem like excuses but in fact when we come up with an excuse it means a part of us is scared or trying to protect us in some way. 

It takes conscious effort to break our habit of making excuses. We need to listen to the excuses with curiosity and compassion so we can get the excuses to change perhaps. 

In this episode, I discuss why we become prone to making excuses. I also talk about getting rid of triggers that cause us to stray away from our diets. Lastly, I share a terrific tool that can help you reign in your tendency to make excuses and sabotage yourself from achieving your goals.

Before you tune in to the full episode, I want you to know about my class!

I love this class. It has SO much information and will give you exactly what you need to change your sabotaging or puzzling patterns. This transformative and in-depth class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, and membership in a Facebook community. I am so confident that it will help you that I offer a money-back guarantee! 

If you would prefer more individualized help, the link to my website and email is right here:  betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Understand more clearly why you might make excuses and self-sabotage. Learn how to be compassionate with yourself. Discover a tool that can bring you a step closer to your healthy eating goals.

We are all prone to making excuses and conceding to behaviors that we later regret. This vulnerability is what makes us human. 

For example, we often convince ourselves that being “good all week” gives us a pass to stop caring and just eat.  The stress and tension generated because you had to be good all week often creates a need to have a break.  

With so much effort towards being good, your inner world will instinctively attempt to balance things out. You will have a thought, “just tonight, just one bite, etc.”   There’s nothing wrong with eating. The problem is when eating is out of alignment with the needs of your body, when it’s not a choice but a compulsion, or when it becomes overeating. By becoming aware of our excuse patterns with curiosity we can often stop and decide differently. 

Avoiding Triggers

Everyone has different triggers and trigger foods that might take over or that might make you feel tense or overwhelmed. Triggers can create an internal tug of war. “Should I eat it or not? If I don’t eat it, will I just obsess about it all day?” In this episode, Betsy talks about various trigger examples and how to handle them. 

The Voice of Resistance

Steven Pressfield, the author of The War of Art, said this:

“Most of us have two lives: the life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance.”

The voice of resistance becomes louder the closer you get to your goals. Betsy explains how this might apply to the eating and dieting world. 

Self-Compassion and the Present Tense

When you have a goal in mind, you may be prone to overthinking what you did in the past and what you could have done differently. 

It’s easy to want to beat yourself up for not doing what you “should” have done. It’s easy to get in a mental cycle of criticism when you overeat or eat too many desserts. The inner critic is always trying to help us, but it’s not helpful. What is helpful is courageously flooding your mind with compassionate thoughts and going to forgiveness. We ALWAYS do what makes sense at the moment, and sometimes that’s eating. We are innocent. When we overeat or make mistakes there’s always a good reason. 

It’s incredibly helpful yet incredibly difficult to remember to take a deep breath and focus on the present moment. One foot in front of the other. One moment at a time. 

While resistance can lead you to self-sabotage, it has no strength of its own. You can wield it as a tool to help navigate yourself. In this case, resistance can also be about aligning with your higher self and using it as a learning opportunity. When you find yourself making excuses, you should pay more attention because these excuses are, in itself, your call to action. 

Taking time with yourself through meditations and mindfulness can provide you with a clearer perspective of what you want. While becoming aware of your thoughts and learning from them is terrific, you may still need an outside observer to help you from time to time. You might want to consider getting help, especially if you’ve been stuck for a while now.

Dr. Marsha M. Linehan, a pioneer of dialectical behavior therapy, came up with the “burning your bridges” exercise. 

It goes like this:

Imagine yourself on a shore, trying to get to an island on the other side using a bridge. Each wooden slat on your bridge is your excuse. The goal is to burn each wooden slat in your mind, looking at them one by one, to stop you from further thinking about these excuses. This exercise will help you realize that you are more powerful than you think. 

“If your goal involves sacrifice of pleasure, then you’re going to end up wanting to find an excuse.”

“There’s no such thing as bad food.”

“When you find yourself making excuses, let these moments be your teachable moments.”

“The good news is that resistance has no strength of its own. It is fueled only by fear and self-doubt. And resistance, in fact, is a great teacher and can become your tool for navigation.”

“Take a deep breath and find the courage to forgive yourself. Take another deep breath, perhaps, and focus on compassion towards yourself, which is similar to forgiveness. Aren’t you doing the best you can?”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Do you feel the need to eat when you’re tired or in pain? Do you tell yourself, “Just for today, I won't eat healthy,” and then cope with these feelings through unhealthy eating? 

You're not alone. Many people use food and overeat to get temporary relief from their discomfort. However, eating healthy is not something you do only when it’s convenient — it's a commitment. 

In today's episode, I will talk about managing physical pain, illness, and discomfort while still maintaining the goal of weight loss or freedom from disordered eating. I will also give you two tools to help you be mindful even in a distressing situation. 

Tune in to the full episode to learn more about eating healthily while dealing with pain and discomfort.  

The transformative class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, and membership in a Facebook community. You can’t take this class and not begin to understand the roots of your eating habits that you might be frustrated with. 

Enrollment is ongoing! This is a perfect holiday gift for yourself or your loved one. Register now so that you don't miss out on all the content! I am confident you’ll benefit tremendously from this course or 30-Day 100% Money-Back Guarantee.

If you would prefer more individualized help, contact me so that we can schedule a private virtual session.

To sign up for the class or to get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Why do we struggle to maintain healthy eating habits when we feel physical and emotional discomfort? How can you practice mindfulness while dealing with stress or physical pain? What tools can help you stick to your healthy eating goals amid physical pain, exhaustion, or discomfort?

Keeping your eating goals while managing physical pain, illness, or discomfort is challenging. If you're having a hard time trying to stay focused when you're feeling awful, that’s understandable. It's hard to break habits that you’ve had for many years.

However, a healthy diet can reduce the physical pain and discomfort you might be having. Therefore, mindfulness amid pain is vital as it contributes to your healing and overall health. 

According to the Mind-Body Training Company, pain or discomfort happens in three parts. It involves (1) the physical sensation, (2) your emotional reaction to it, and (3) the story you tell yourself about it. 

When you're dealing with pain or discomfort, you tell yourself a million different stories. You might feel frustrated, regretful, and helpless. And you might continue eating unhealthily because you think you've already failed anyway. 

However, remember that all of these are just stories. They are misleading and mostly based on fear.        

The Mind-Body Training Company tells us to use mindfulness to manage and reduce discomfort or pain. Here’s how:

Accept the discomfort with a non-judgmental attitude. Observe your reaction to the uncomfortable sensation or pain from a distance. Contemplate your story. Separate the facts from the fear. Identify the emotional reaction you're having. Put a name to it and accept it for what it is.   Locate the point of pain or discomfort in your body and zero in on your thoughts on this area. 

Listen to the full episode for a more in-depth discussion of each step!

One of the tools in managing your pain and eating habits is to find the pattern to your discomfort and physical pain. 

Have you ever wondered why people are still shortsighted despite knowing the possible consequences of their actions? Why do we binge eat even though it makes us feel guilty? Why do we drink too much even though it can make us feel sick? 

According to Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert, it’s because humans underestimate the odds of their future pain and overestimate the value of current pleasures. 

If you struggle with physical pain and discomfort due to chronic disorders, keeping track of your pain and discomfort may help you eat mindfully. 

Creating a food diary (writing down what you eat, the time, and the hunger scale) can help you observe your eating habits. You can see how you respond to specific food triggers or if there was a very stressful situation that triggered your pain to flare up.        

We can prevent pain if we are aware of its pattern. Some situations and stresses in life will trigger you to feel actual physical pain. But you have to remember that we are mind-body beings — we cannot separate our thoughts from our body’s physical sensations.  

I have seen people who come to me for weight loss, hating how their bodies look. But through time, they have completely changed their lifestyle for the better. They’re now planning, being patient with themselves, eating intuitively, tuning in to their hunger, and allowing themselves to eat freely. They don’t have as many forbidden foods; instead, they opt to consume real, minimal-additive foods.

As they lose weight, the long-standing physical ailments they've been struggling with disappear. Once they start eating a diet rich in plant-based, colorful foods and replace all the convenience foods with real food, their bodies begin to heal. When you clean up your lifestyle, miracles can happen.    

“There are a million different stories that we tell ourselves. But that's what we need to remember; it's a story. It's a thought, and it's a fear.”

“All experiences in life come and go. Everything is temporary. We all forget that in the midst of a crisis, in the midst of pain.”

“And here's the statement: As human beings, through much research, we learned that we underestimate the odds of our future pain. And we overestimate the value of our current pleasures.”

“We are mind-body beings, we are not just a physical body, we are a process. You cannot separate your thoughts from the physical sensations — that is impossible.”

“Once we're aware of the pattern, we can prevent it.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

The Importance of Setting a Daily Intention

The first step in change can be the hardest. It's easy to lose focus, even when you think you've prepared enough for it. A daily intention is a great way to help your brain come back to the present tense and to your goals, especially when you’re in the midst of a moment of stress and overwhelm.

In this episode, I discuss the art of managing your thoughts and setting an intention with your eating habits. I talk about the importance of staying in the present and focusing on the process of reaching your goals. Make sure to tune in to the episode to learn more about setting a daily intention effectively.

The transformative class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, membership in a Facebook community. It is packed with content. You can’t take this class and not begin to understand the roots of your eating habits that you might be frustrated with. 

Enrollment is ongoing! Register now, so you don't miss out on all the content!

If you would prefer more individualized help, contact me so we can schedule a private virtual session.

To sign up for the class or to get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Learn what the polar bear effect is and how you can address it. Understand more about the art of effective intention setting. Discover how you can continuously get back in touch with your daily intention when you're thrown off course.

Setting a daily intention is about identifying where your attention is. Often, when we want to lose weight, we get stuck in the problem instead of focusing on the vision. However, there is an art to managing your thoughts.

When you constantly think about the food you want to avoid, you will likely end up obsessing over it. That is what draws you right into the kitchen and makes you struggle. 

Martha Beck talked about the “polar bear effect” study in her book, The Four-Day Win. It applies to anything we don’t want. 

The study found that under ideal conditions, we can suppress thoughts we want to suppress. However, when we're stressed, our cognitive load is very high. As a result, the change that we want to happen becomes the opposite of what the brain can do. The same thing happens when you obsess over the thought of losing weight — what you resist persists.

First, it is crucial to understand how to make an effective intention.

When you want something, detach your thinking from the outcome. Instead of focusing on the result, you must focus on the process, staying in the present tense minute by minute.

We tend to worry about what we should’ve done and what we should do in the future. However, keep in mind that the point of power in life is the present. You must let go of needing to see a lower number on the scale. You only need to be aware of the here and now in the present and get into the flow. It takes discipline to practice this skill.

The daily intention involves our thoughts, beliefs, and values in the here and now. A good daily intention is very much dependent on your specific struggle.

First, keep in mind that our emotions direct us. No one on the planet that I know doesn't eat emotionally. Recent research has shown that our feelings originate in our heart's energy, transmitting a signal to the brain.

Now, let's set an intention.

First, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today?” What is the feeling that you want to generate from it?

Write down one action statement on an index card. Start with the words, “I will…” or “I am…” Carry it with you, recite it every hour, and write it down on your phone’s reminders.

Your daily intention must align with who you want to be and how you want to feel. When you focus on this the entire day, your practical food-related goals will not be such a struggle.

Debbie Ford talked about the concept of intention in her book, The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. She says once you set your intention, you must ask yourself what you have to give up to ensure you fulfill that. You need to let go of the thought that’s in the way of you being in alignment with your goal.

Again, have a present-tense action statement for your daily intention. It can be as simple as, “I will love and accept myself as I am,” or “I will honor my body today with healthy food.” 

However, keep in mind that you will inevitably get thrown off course all day long after setting this. So, your mission is to continually be aware of this daily intention to get back on track. Keep remembering that you have set an intention and that's who you will be today.

“The harder we try to stop our thoughts, the more we get them.”

“Do not focus on the outcome; you must focus on the process.”

“The point of power in life is the present tense. Stay there.”

“Every single person on this planet is worthy, and every single solitary person on this planet has a purpose and a divine — in my mind anyway — a divine plan that they need to fulfill. They need to be themselves. They have a purpose, which is, ‘Figure out what my purpose is and do it.’”

“Life will throw us off course all day long. And that's what happens, and that's okay. That's not even a problem. In fact, it's there perhaps to help us remember to get back in touch with our daily intention, which is peaceful, loving, forgiving, honoring ourselves.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

As the holidays approach, it might be tempting to relax into the season with the attitude of eating in excess. It can be very easy to allow yourself extra bites of food or another piece of pie and to forget that you might feel overly full or uncomfortable later. In some cases, you might find it hard to refuse a relative who keeps filling up your plate or to eat moderately in the midst of a delicious holiday spread. 

In this episode, I identify common “excuses” that parts of our mind use during the holidays to give ourselves permission to overeat. I also talk about how to incorporate intuitive and mindful eating during the holidays. Lastly, I share the Hawaiian prayer of ho'oponopono to help you manage potential stress that can arise from interactions with family and friends.

 I am now offering a 10-week virtual class!

The class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, membership in a Facebook community, and weekly private group sessions. This transformative class will teach you how to change your entire relationship with eating. 

If you would prefer more individualized help, contact me so we can schedule a private virtual session.

To sign up for the class or to get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Identify excuses you may be using to justify mindless eating during the holidays.  Learn useful tools to help you on your journey of intuitive eating. Discover the transformational ho'oponopono prayer. 

As the holidays approach, most people come up with several excuses to justify overeating. One is that because it’s the holidays you should be allowed to eat whatever you want! Another one that gets us into trouble is not wanting to appear rude when someone offers you food. A third is the excuse that eating what others eat could prevent them from noticing you or wondering if you’re concerned about your weight.

Other common excuses include, “I need to eat this so I don’t have to think about it anymore,” or “It’s there! Might as well eat!” or even, “It smelled good so I can eat it even though I’m full”  

When you succumb to these thoughts without first checking in with your body, it’s as if you’re turning off your brain to nudges that might be there that would prefer attuned eating. 

It’s helpful to ask yourself, “what does my physical body need and want?” 

Most people associate food with pleasure and celebration. After all, you’re in the company of friends and family that you hardly see the rest of the year. 

It’s possible to have joy and fun without calories, alcohol, and sugar. Pleasure is always available to us. A few extra bites and sips each time you get in a celebratory mood can counteract the effort of months and weeks of trying to be mindful and intuitive.

Honor your body. Know when you’re hungry, but don’t eat when you’re too hungry — don’t wait that long. While you eat, be mindful, eat slowly, and notice the urge to mentally check out. Eat things you really crave.

Identify your trigger foods. If the food you crave and tend to overdo is a trigger and binge food, make a plan to manage the impulse. Some people do best by keeping trigger foods out of the house, although for many this isn’t possible. 

When you feel yourself falling down the rabbit hole of obsessive worries about food, deciding to focus on other things can change everything. Your brain won’t want to do this of course. Giving the brain a hard “no” and moving your attention to the conversation you’re having or the background music or your breathing can be helpful. Focus on the solution, not the problem. 

It’s easy to get out of touch with your heart space. The Hawaiian prayer of ho'oponopono can help you get out of your head and into that space of compassion and forgiveness. It’s easy to remember and can transform your energy immediately. The prayer can be directed either at yourself or to others. 

The prayer has four lines: 

When you say “I am sorry,” you are saying, “I am sorry because I did not understand things the way you are seeing them.” This line asks you to be humble and have courage.

You can also direct this to yourself. Many people beat themselves up or say mean things about themselves in their mind. To say you are sorry to yourself it means you are sorry for not seeing the inherent good in you.  

“Please forgive me,” can be a plea to forgive yourself for believing that you should be perfect or that you should never be selfish or that you should have been able to see things from another’s perspective. 

“Thank you,” connotes appreciation and accountability. It acknowledges that others and you have had to sacrifice and feel pain as a result of your behaviors. It’s also a step toward accepting full responsibility for your actions.

“I love you,” is the doorway to complete freedom. To love unconditionally is the key to happiness. You may have heard the expression, “resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. By finding a way to completely forgive ourselves and others, and to love them, and to love ourselves, we become free. We are the ones who suffer while carrying around our anger towards others or towards ourselves. 

“So the goal, ultimately, is to honor you and your needs. And there's nothing wrong with being honest and saying, “I really am not hungry right now” or “I've had enough” or “No thank you” and change the subject and have a big smile and be done with it.”

“What are the basics of mastering a perfect relationship with food? Be aware and notice what physical hunger feels like for you. And eat when you're hungry.”

“There is no book out there that's going to fix you or your problem. It doesn't exist. It's your book. It's your story. It's your body. It's your patterns. It's your family. It’s you. In a nutshell, it's your history. It's your belief system. It’s all of it.”

“‘Thank you’ acknowledges that you appreciate that others and also that you may have had to sacrifice or feel pain as a result of your behaviors. So thank you is another step towards accepting full responsibility for your actions.”

“Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You're the one who took the poison. And when we are holding resentments towards other people for anything, anything at all, we are the ones who suffer.”  

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment or join my class? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

It’s hard to talk about eating without tying it to ideas about nutrition, so it's helpful to understand what makes up the food we eat and how it affects our bodies. Different foods have different functions in the body. There is no one answer to the question, “What should I eat?” However, there are guidelines to help you balance it out.

In today's episode, I touch on the science of food. I talk about the different food groups and the general rule of thumb when eating. Tune in to the full episode to get the most valuable insights on the nitty-gritty of the food we eat.

I am now offering a virtual 7-week CLASS!

The class is geared toward behavior change. It is for people who struggle with maintaining a stress-free relationship with eating. 

The class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, membership in a Facebook community. Enrollment is ongoing! Register now so that you don't miss out on all the content!

If you would prefer more individualized help, contact me so we can schedule a private virtual session.

To sign up for the class or get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

What is the primary goal of eating? Learn about the nutritional qualities of the food you eat. Discover the importance of keeping a low glycemic index.

Balanced, healthy eating correlates with stable blood sugar levels. When you control how you eat so that you don't starve yourself and then overeat in the next meal, the body’s ability to self regulate many biological processes is maximized. Remember: your brain runs your body and relies on glucose or blood sugar to function. Keeping your blood sugar stable is crucial to health and also to decreasing disruptive food cravings.

Incorporating snacks between your meals can help regulate your blood sugar. A good snack would be something that includes protein and fiber. When eating, keep in mind that fun foods that aren’t thought of as “healthy” can be worked into an eating program.  

The macronutrients that our food contains are protein, carbohydrates, and fats. All foods in the world are either one of these or a combination of them.

Carbohydrates are either simple or complex. Complex carbohydrates are generally better because they come packaged with other nutrients such as protein and fiber. Quinoa and brown rice are more complex than white rice and white flour, for example. Because the body was not designed to process excessive amounts of sugar, it can get confused and overreact when eating large amounts of sugar/refined flour/convenience foods. As a result, it can influence the process of the hormones involved in the body's response to knowing when to stop eating.

The primary food groups include:

Any “diet” comes with a diet mentality; if you are on a diet, part of you will want to resist it. Diets are naturally unsustainable, and in the long run, generally, create an unhealthy relationship with eating. 

A 2009 study compared four popular weight-loss diets using similar calorie counts. They looked at the ratios of protein, carbohydrate, and fat. After two years, the conclusion was that all the diets were equally effective in losing or maintaining weight. The success was primarily attributed to matching the people to the right eating methods, not the percentage of the macronutrients. In the long run though, no diet correlated with lasting change. 

Instead of getting stuck in details, it's more crucial to go back to the basics of eating intuitively.

Each culture has a food consumption system based on many factors. These factors dictate how they eat and include religion, social rules, their ecosystem, and more. Even today, there are hidden factors affecting your dietary choices.

Science has red-flagged any way of eating that excludes entire food groups or has strict rules. Some people however do report feeling best on a strict diet plan, and can maintain this way of eating for years.

While this is not typical, it does work for some, and as long as the body receives all essential minerals and vitamins and there are no psychological impulses to rebel, these rigid programs can be effective. Since the great majority of people can’t sustain these strict programs, though, intuitive eating and balanced eating is recommended. There is no exact answer to the question, “What should I eat?” 

In general, scientific recommendations for optimal nutrition also includes a minimum of packaged, processed, refined foods. 

One key marker for problems with weight management is insulin resistance. When this happens insulin stops working correctly in the body, which causes other hormones to become impaired. 

The glycemic index is the amount of glucose released into the blood after eating any carbohydrate. Carbohydrates are important for health and are found in grains, vegetables, fruits, and dairy products. Low-glycemic-index carbohydrates cause a slower rise of glucose and insulin in the blood, which is good for the body and are better metabolized than high glycemic-index foods. White rice and white potatoes and candy, for example, are high glycemic carbohydrates. Quinoa and legumes and broccoli are examples of carbohydrates with a lower glycemic index. 

The Invitation

Consider making it your goal for the next couple of weeks to focus on eating vegetables and other low-glycemic-index foods. Balance meals with lean protein, such as fish or red meat, as well as fiber. This combination will keep you satisfied while also keeping your blood sugar regulated.

Keep in mind not to get stuck in specific food rules. Believing foods are forbidden will create fear and stress and can lead to resistance, food cravings, and overeating. 

“No one can tell you the best way to eat; it's something that you have to know for you.”

“We need to stop giving food power and labeling it good and bad.”

“This is a matter of what works for you, what feels good in your body, what works in your lifestyle, what do you enjoy.”

“So you might be wanting me to tell you exactly, “What do I eat? Tell me what to eat right now.” And I can't do that because there is no answer to that.”

“So relax, sit back, enjoy the journey. It’s a wonderful journey; you learn about yourself. And along the way, the weight will start to come off, and you'll start to understand your habits, and you'll start to make little changes, and it's all going to fall into place, and it's going to be awesome.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Structuring Meals & Managing Intrusive Thoughts About Food

Many people are struggling with losing or maintaining weight. As eating becomes a coping mechanism, you might find yourself turning to food whenever stressed, sad, upset, tired, overwhelmed, angry, or bored. The truth is, you cannot satisfy your emotional hunger with eating because it is a different type of hunger. Even if you strictly follow a diet, you will soon return to your unhealthy eating patterns.

In this episode, I share my knowledge about structured meal plans and the nature of intrusive thoughts. I explain why dieting fails and why eating disorders are an addiction. Finally, I discuss how you can detach from your intrusive thoughts about food.

Tune in if you want to learn how you can stop eating mindlessly.

The class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, membership in a Facebook community, and weekly private group sessions. 

If you would prefer more individualized help, contact me so we can schedule a private virtual session. 

To sign up for the class or to get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

How do you add structure to your meals to recover from unhealthy eating patterns or behaviors? How can you reboot your perspective about health and wellness? How can you overcome challenges to become healthy?

Many people live their lives on a yo-yo diet - going on a diet, and then leaving it. That's why diets will inevitably fail. They're unsustainable and you will eventually default to old behaviors. The dieting mentality is a thinking pattern that does not work.

There can be an addiction to a pattern of cravings showing up in your mind since the cravings are a way to distract from what might seem unmanageable or overwhelming in life. In a related way, there is an addiction to caving in to the craving and addiction to dieting. We can treat an eating disorder like an addiction and create a meal structure to manage it.

Some people can eat intuitively all the time, listening to hunger and fullness and eating accordingly. Many people need to stay with structure before they learn to trust the body’s cues. A gentle structure can help some people stay in balance. The structure you create should consider your specific nutritional needs and include 3 to 4 specific eating times a day. Treats and fun foods can be incorporated into this.

There is a biological sequence event happening which relates to insulin spikes, and this can cause cravings. Planning helps you manage these events. It's best to abstain from unplanned eating which can fuel obsessive thinking. Instead, the ideal approach will be learning how to practice intuitive eating in combination with specific planned meals. Intuitive eating is the practice of listening to your body.

If you have an eating disorder, it doesn't mean you are flawed as a person. Think of your compulsion with eating not as an addiction, but as a solution to a problem. The real problem is generally the fear of being overwhelmed by trying to manage your emotions.

Have a structured amount of food each day and try to develop the ability to choose portion sizes that will keep you going until your next meal. In terms of food quality, you need to include protein, healthy fats, and fiber, with at least three food groups per meal. Refined carbohydrates can be triggering for some people, and allowing only a moderate amount of them at meals is ideal.

Becky Lou Jackson, the author of the book Dieting: A Dry Drunk, recommends that you have no snacks between meals, but I would say that you can have one snack per day if you are hungry.

You also need to understand how your brain might trick you. If you're attached to the idea of weight loss, it will create more internal stress, which can lead to food addiction. Emotion plays a pivotal role in food addiction, so learning how to be curious, mindful, and aware will be an essential skill to build. 

You have a fear thought stream that will try to hold your attention. Acknowledge it, perhaps thank it for what it needs you to know, and then put up a boundary. Don't stay stuck in it! You are more than just your thoughts. In fact, your thoughts are frequently exaggerated, confused, and untrue remnants of your past. 

You might experience some difficulties while trying to follow structured eating, and it can be tempting to return to unplanned eating. It can be hard to determine the difference between true physical hunger and emotional hunger. In a structured way of eating you will decide to wait until the next meal time even though there might be some hunger. The goal is to try to match quantities of food at each meal with physical hunger. A little bit of hunger can be beneficial because it gives your body a little bit of fasting glucose. In the case of two much hunger, you will want to have a protein-rich snack rather than waiting hours for the next meal, and use this as a learning opportunity for planning just the right amount of food that your body needs next time. 

It might also be challenging to follow your meal plan when in social settings and the expectations people might have of you. You can work with this by planning ahead and taking social eating into account in your meal plan.

You may experience internal conflicts about food, but everything will pass, just like a storm. Gently detach yourself from the mental thought stream of fear. Your brain might try to distract you from your negative thoughts by using food. If you can detach yourself, you can always find your blue sky.

"So what we're talking about is we need to be abstinent from random eating and unplanned times. But, we really need to be abstinent from our disordered body image obsessive thinking."

"You have always just done the best you could. How could you not have? You only did what your brain told you to do, and you didn't ask for thoughts to be there."

"So, you don't want to set up yourself to fail. You want to put lots of nutritious foods and lots of proteins and everywhere you want to plan ahead. You want to pack and plan your meals and you want to put some time into this."

"So you have this thought that you didn't ask for, but there it is, you attach to it, because it matters. And in your attachment, you can't help but resist it because you don't want it [...] It is really important for you to realize these thoughts are not important. These thoughts are not important."

"There's nothing wrong with you. You're just a person in a storm. And, somewhere that blue sky is there. It's always there. It never leaves."

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

How to Use the Hunger Scale for Intuitive Eating

Wouldn't it be nice if you can give your body permission to eat without feeling guilty? Often, we rely on binge dieting strategies and beat ourselves up for the short-term numbers we see on the scale. But what will happen if we tune into our hunger scale long-term and eat to honor our body?

In this episode, I discuss two essential skills to gain control over your weight. I will also introduce strategies for tuning into the body's wisdom and tracking hunger numerically. Make sure to tune in to the full podcast to learn more about how you can teach your mind to change how it sees eating.

The class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, and membership in a Facebook community. 

Enrollment is ongoing! Register now so you don’t miss out on all the content!

If you would prefer more individualized help, contact me so we can schedule a private virtual session.

To sign up for the class or get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Discover the concept behind intuitive eating. What does the hunger scale look like? Learn how you can apply the gold standard of the hunger scale into your eating.

The basis of intuitive eating is to learn to tune into the body and trust your own wisdom. As a result, you will make better food choices naturally and eventually attain a healthy body weight for you, not for others.

While diets work short-term, mounting fact-based studies prove that these can be detrimental in the long run. The mentality involved in dieting creates a mental block and self-sabotage in the bigger scheme of things.

Meanwhile, intuitive eating takes a little longer to be effective. It’s not a quick fix, and it tends to be unstructured, which can be scary for a lot of people.

Combining intuitive eating with structure means allowing life and food to work together while being aware that sometimes structure is helpful. Being able to walk this balance is an art form.

Many programs like Weight Watchers are educational in terms of food portions, calories, and food value. Calorie apps can also teach you a lot, but they can also be the root of the problem if you hate breaking the rules. However, it often does not hold up in the long term because of the “Today I'm on; tomorrow I'm off” mentality.

No one can sustain that for their entire life. You need to see eating as a way of honoring your body. It’s easy to stay focused when eating intuitively because there are no rules to keep track of. Instead, you will develop a continuous mental script that focuses on what your body feels.

The best way to stop your exhausting diet cycle is to get to the root of the problem. The hunger scale refers to physical—not emotional—hunger.

Emotional hunger happens more suddenly. In contrast, physical hunger usually happens more slowly over time. However, it's important to note that each person experiences physical hunger a little bit differently.

Generally, the hunger scale looks like this: the negative numbers signify hunger, zero is neutral, and the positive numbers indicate feeling full or satisfied.

Here’s a better look at the negative scale.

Here's a better look at the positive scale.

Start recording the food you eat using a food diary or a phone app. Write down the food, the time, the portions of the food you're eating, and the number on the scale which reflects how hungry you are. It doesn't matter if you're still eating if you already feel stuffed. Here, you're just recording without any judgment.

After you finish eating, write a second number which reflects how satisfied or full you feel. Having a mental dialogue would help you fight off the resistance of food recording.

We’re working toward a gold standard that is more or less a narrow range of −2 or +2. It means that you eat before you're hungry and you stop before you're full. Remember: eating when you're overly hungry pushes you to overeat or eat too fast. Stopping before you're full is the best way of honoring your body and managing your eating.

Success in this journey means understanding that it is a journey. It is putting your foot in a gray area of thinking positive and forgiving thoughts. Keep in mind that self-talk is a massive source of sabotage.

You must develop self-love and forgiveness, understanding that you are doing the best you can do at any given moment. Remember: eating is not black and white. Hence, you must allow life into eating and its rhythm and flow to work together.

“You have to have a mentality of, ‘This is the way I am going to eat to honor my body because what I'm eating right now feels good in my body.’”

“All those ads that you see that tell you you can lose lots of weight fast, that is not going to work in the big picture. It's a waste of time, energy, and money, and it feeds the mental cycle of feeling like a failure with dieting. That is absolutely at the crux of the problem.”

“You must have patience. You must have self-love. You must let go of guilt. You must relax. You must be in the flow of, ‘I'm doing the best I can.’”

“It's not good for your body or for you to be a binge dieter. Yet, in the moment, we act in the best way we know how. So ease up, please, on yourself.”

“It's hard to develop the skill of allowing food intake and food cravings with life because the problem is life is about flow and rhythm and unpredictability.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Betsy Thurston RD talks about the experience of several clients and their struggles in the current pandemic environment. The podcast talks about Betsy's personal experience at a retreat, about a client's plan to show up on the beach showing more skin then she wanted, and about other client's and their sense of meaninglessness.   There are a lot of big concepts on this podcast! 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about some common childhood situations that can set the stage for overeating, body shame, chronic dieting and a stressful relationship with food.  She talks about some specific action steps you can take to help work through and manage these problems.

In this episode Betsy talks about quick and effective ways to manage anxiety and fear in the moment. This is a practical, no nonsense episode which looks at common issues related to food issues as well as life issues that lead to eating problems. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about the beginning of a success story involving alcohol and eating during the time of Covid-19.  She walks listeners through her journey, step by step.  Internal Family Systems, Pema Chodrin, Compassionate Curiosity, Courage and Boundaries all play a role. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about how to manage emotions such as panic, anxiety, fear, or anger without resorting to food. She includes a role play between internal parts of us using internal family systems therapy (IFS) . Betsy also covers key points needed to survive eating problems during this stressful time period including the anti inflammatory diet, structuring meals and creating boundaries.  

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about the values and habits of mind that result from our relationship with our parents and how this drives issues with food problems or an inability to stay focused with health goals. She talks about three clients and their specific stories, and at the end she gives a sneak peak into the groundbreaking work of Steven Kessler and The 5 Personality Patterns.  

Do you often find yourself overeating, especially when you are stressed? If you answered yes, then there are probably other things in your mind contributing to this behavior. It’s not obvious. The subconscious mind is unbelievably complex. 

I think most dietitians, including me, would agree that you want to honor your cravings to some degree. Intuitive eating teaches us the value of listening for internal physical cues of hunger and fullness and attempting to eat what the body wants. However, intuitive eating is very tricky. You can easily be confused and think that just because you have an urge for a cookie you should honor that urge every time. 

In this episode, I discuss how you can learn how to identify when the urge is coming from an emotional need rather than a physical need to not feel deprived. In this way you can begin to teach the mind a new way of responding to your cravings. You can learn how to teach yourself how to retrain your brain to stop your cravings and impulsive eating habits. Your brain remembers every little thing from your past, so the habits can run very deep. The process involves listening inside yourself so you can understand and reassure the overeating parts of you. You learn to connect with them and literally let them know that you’re here for them and you understand them. 

If you want to learn more about this process so you can stop overeating, tune in to this episode!

Learn how to stop overeating by retraining your brain using the process of IFS (internal family systems).  Learn ways to tap into your inner guidance and intuition. Consider common triggers that can create urges such as the inner critic, social anxiety, and overwhelm.

Eating is a great way to calm the brain. When we feel stressed or out of control, we tend to reach for foods that soothe us. To learn how to stop this, the first step is to get curious about the part of your mind that makes you reach for food unconsciously. For example, the sense of panic about feeling out of control might be held inside of a specific “part” inside of you. This part is alerting you to danger, and it’s likely got a good reason for this; in your past you most likely had many times where bad things happened when you had no control. To get curious you must separate from it. Internally, this can look like moving away from the part in your mind’s eye and noticing that it’s there. 

It’s often difficult to identify all the eating triggers, especially because they can be buried beneath all the activities of your conscious mind. They can hide. Start by intentionally aiming to be more mindful. Slow down and turn your awareness inside. 

Practically, you might write down a few goals to improve your relationship with mindfulness with eating or with food buying. You may make a goal to go to put your fork down between bites of food, or plan times when you go to the grocery store so healthy food is available during stressful times of the day. You might try to make it a habit not to eat in front of the TV. Focus on one goal at a time.

We are our own healers. If you get quiet enough to listen, the answer deep within will come to you. What you can do is sit on a chair and actively do nothing. Just notice the inner world. 

It’s a helpful exercise to pretend that the emotion associated with eating is a person that needs your attention. It will never leave you alone unless it feels validated, unless it realizes you are listening to it. Communicate with it from a place of curiosity, without being mad at it or wishing it would go away. We need to talk to our eating parts and reassure them that we are there for them.

In the process, you connect with the thing inside of you to understand the reasons behind your overeating. You also can develop a relationship with these parts so that you can let them know that you want to go through life without having to rely on food to cope, and eventually they will learn to trust that you can handle things without eating. 

Within every single person, there is a capacity to be present. We can lead and heal our own parts. But we cannot do this if there is too much fear and noise. To listen without interference, try to find a way to get grounded in the body. Breathe. Recognize that the parts are separate entities! This can lead us to our intuition.

I had a talk with a woman who was a firefighter during 9/11. She had this voice inside of her that said, “You need to get out of there.” Thank goodness she trusted that voice because it saved a lot of people’s lives that day. She had developed a capacity for listening inside of herself. 

Rather than rewards, we are more motivated by what we might lose. So, if you feel yourself reaching for snacks, you can ask yourself what you might lose. You might lose your sense of empowerment and hopefulness. You can lose a sense of being in control.

Likewise, you can ask yourself, what do I need here? It might just be a relief from boredom, procrastination, or a way to calm your nerves.

I worked with another client who has chronic physical pain. This client has a part of her who is so tired from putting on a happy, strong, and stoic face despite the pain. To cope with this, she tended to grab baked goods to reward herself and get on with her day.

Ultimately, it was a matter of allowing her to have compassion for and connect with the parts of her that are in pain.

This was the same for my clients who were perfectionists. They needed to separate themselves from their perfectionist part so they could see it from a distance. They could then be curious about it and ask: Why do you need to be perfect?

We tend to reach for food not because we are hungry, but because we are stressed. What should you do in this situation?

You can leave the room. Calm down and rest a second. Connect with the energy inside that’s unsettled. Realize that it’s a part of you, but it’s not you. It’s different from your calm, curious, and compassionate self.

Acknowledge this emotion and say, “I can handle this. I can handle the stress without food.”

I also worked with a client who developed an association with certain foods. She would eat these foods when she felt overwhelmed and needed relief.

She worked with the part of her that was scared. She also learned how to communicate with her food craving and overeating part. What she ended up doing was to have a conversation with the critic in her mind, since this was the part that was creating such distress. She needed to tell her critic that if she could just allow herself to eat what she was carving without guilt, then she probably won’t overeat.

“It's best to do one at a time. That's how you make progress. It's the little things day in and day out.”

“We just take a moment and we just turn towards the inner world. And we let the answer find us because it will be there.”

“The brain learned way back when that food could comfort and calm in almost any situation until of course, the brain reverted to that. So we need to reassure our eating part that we're there for them, we understand.”

“Social interactions are stressful. That is probably the number one reason I have found that people grab food even though they are not hungry.”

“The solution is not a diet. The solution is getting quiet, calm, curious, and [to] stop.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment or take my class? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about somatic experiencing as a tool to help understand reasons for some habits and behaviors related to eating.  Betsy explains how to apply this technique and also talks about several different clients and their struggles and insights.  She talks about clients with various concerns: with a diet mountain dew addiction, an impulse to eat very fast, general anxiety around eating, needing to be perfect when eating, and having a resistance to exercising.  

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about how to trust the body and listen to it through the perspective of our two separate selves (our higher self and our human self).  She also addresses practical issues regarding protein, fiber, check lists for food, and addressing physical versus emotional hunger.  

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about how to be in the midst of the holiday parties or other social events as well as family tension without overeating.  She looks at concepts from spiritual teachings as well as practical food advice.  Several concerns of various clients are also considered.  

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about many types of physical pain in the body, eating disorders, and anxiety and depression as a process in the brain called Mind Body Syndrome.  Healing from these symptoms is possible and she presents tools to help this happen.  Manifesting your dreams and creating your reality can happen.  

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about an effective tool to shift out of unhealthy eating patterns or worry about food and the body.  She uses examples from clients in her practice to help demonstrate how to work with this tool. Specific practices are provided at the end. 

Do you remember how heavy it was to carry your backpack to school? In the same way, your mind has an unseen bag, holding the feelings and weighted expectations you put on your shoulders every day. These emotions and thoughts add enormous weight to our “backpack” that can have real, material consequences in our life. 

In this episode, I teach you an exercise where we look inside our mental and emotional backpacks and notice which heavy rocks you might have that represent your emotional weight. I go over the most common “rocks” in the way of happiness among the clients that I typically work with. Once we recognize them, we can start letting them go — one rock at a time. 

 Before I recap the show notes I want to alert listeners that I have a class starting March 9, 2021 and that you can sign up now to begin receiving class materials and get a head start. 

This transformative class will include a lot of weekly content, as well as 5 Zoom sessions from 7:30 to 9 pm Eastern time. The content includes pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, and membership in a Facebook community. It is packed with content and comes with a money-back guarantee! You can't take this class and not begin to understand the roots of your eating habits that you might be frustrated with. From this understanding will come change. 

To sign up for the class or to get private help, visit my website.  You can also send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com.

Unpack the rocks in your own backpack. Learn to thank these rocks as part of your journey as you let them go. Develop an intention and willingness to put these rocks to rest.

Bearing a heavy backpack day in and day out can drain your energy. You might feel guilty for not getting anything done. You might retreat and isolate yourself. Some might feel angry over the injustice of it all and lash out against others. 

When you peek inside this mental backpack, you'll discover "rocks" weighing you down. The rocks in your backpack represent an unhealthy belief or attachment to an idea. The first rock contains the word "thin." The problem might lie not in valuing it but in overvaluing it. If you can slowly learn to let go of the intensity of the value to be thin then you will be able to become a more intuitive eater. 

The second rock is "secrets." Whether it's a secret binge eating habit or endlessly worrying about your weight, keeping secrets builds tension that can be a problem. Before coming out with the truth, thank your secrets. We need to be grateful for the obstacles that come our way for the lessons they leave us. 

The third rock is "confusion." There are countless diets, workouts, and information around us that it's easy to become overwhelmed. But if we learn to stay still, the answer will present itself. When we let go of the need to know, we can tap into the right way to eat. 

Your backpack is filled with many rocks, and some of the ones mentioned include: 

These rocks change the way we see ourselves. Shame builds up and can be hard to let go of — it can take a lot of therapy and research into the roots of the shame, yet practicing a willingness to put the shame aside from time to time can change the course of your entire day. 

The need for control is another common rock that can take complete hold of us. Fear of hunger and fear of fullness also can create beliefs that aren’t accurate for us, such as the belief that we can’t handle a small amount of hunger, or that if we’re full it means we’re going to get fatter. 

Loneliness shackles us to reliance on food or other sources of happiness when people aren’t around. The journey of healing might involve letting go of the rock of believing that you can’t be with loneliness. Letting go of these rocks one by one frees you and opens your life to more possibilities.

The burden of our rocks limits us and makes us feel insecure, regretful and guilty. Often, we repress our fears which leads to eating. For others, these rocks can strengthen a victim stance, fueling learned helplessness and more fear. Accepting that these rocks exist and weigh us down is the first step. 

It's not a simple task to take these rocks out of our mental backpacks. Unlike physical objects, these rocks exist in our minds and cannot be thrown away that easily.

It helps to start with the idea that carrying these rocks for more than what is necessary can get in the way of your happiness. Identify the rocks in your mind and how they may be weighing you down. From then, you can form an intention to thank these rocks for their lessons and finally put them to rest.   

"We naturally compare ourselves to other people. It's a survival thing. So it's not really valuing the attractive, thin body, it's overvaluing it."

"Thank you for the opportunity to know that I don't have all the answers. And I'm going to surrender because I can't manage this anymore."

"Even our shame is to be thanked. Because it is from our shame that we open up that we change that we are broken apart. So we can realize that we have to love ourselves, or we will not have any chance of having a peaceful life. "

"There's no advantage, there's no benefit – nothing to holding on to this rock. It will not make you not make a mistake in the future. It will not do that at all. It will make you feel miserable and sad and overwhelmed, and it will make you eat. It will make you have sadness. Quick, get that rock out of the bag. And let's move on.

"As we put the rock of denial into the circle, and we accept, all right, yes, I do have some issues that need to be looked at. In fact, it becomes a little lighter and a little easier."

Do you want to enroll in my class, or have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about some common roles in the family and how they might influence eating behaviors. She also covers some of the unspoken rules that are often present in families that can create enormous internal upset.   At the beginning of the podcast Betsy lists 8 eating ideas and habits that can help you feel more in control and confident.  

In our journey toward mindful eating, we usually encounter a form of self-sabotage that says, “Why bother?” This little voice urges us to eat even if we’re not hungry or even if we know it’s too much food or it’s harmful to our body. The voice might also say that the situation’s hopeless or the mountain is too high for us to climb.

So how can we navigate this part of us that convinces us to stop caring?

In this episode, I show you a simple but powerful trick to calm down that “why bother?” voice in your head. I teach you how to take a bird’s eye view of the situation. Whatever intense sensation or emotion you’re feeling right now is not permanent. You don't need to give in to the compulsions of the momentary urge. All you need to do is wait. I also talk about how you can examine these thoughts more closely.

Learn to recognize that “why bother?” part of you.  Understand that all emotions, thoughts, and sensations are temporary. Discover how being honest with yourself will help your mindful eating journey.

Ideally, most people want a healthy, natural, and forgiving relationship with food. In this perfect relationship, you can have room for fun food items yet maintain a balance. You pay close attention to what and how much you eat. You also don’t allow yourself to get completely famished.

But even if you have healthy, mindful eating as the goal, it’s common to fall into the trap of the mind, that “Why bother?” voice. This voice can make a wide range of excuses: 

To take a bird’s eye view, you have to start being comfortable with the fact that nothing is permanent. Even that overwhelming wave of emotion will soon come to pass. There’s a shelf life to everything.

Your present worry will not be the same in an hour or two. Therefore you can coach yourself into not caring. You say to yourself, ‘I don’t care what I feel; all I have to do is wait for the feeling to go away.”

We suffer because we become overly attached to a single outcome or an idea. We start believing that things are permanent or should follow a certain rule. We believe the story in our mind that we have created. 

The trick to connecting with that bird’s eye view lies in the acknowledgement that your brain is a machine programmed to exaggerate the danger. When you start looking closely at worst-case scenarios, you might realize that most of your thoughts aren't even true. They’re wildly exaggerated or distorted versions borne out of your brain’s desire to protect you.

An intense craving is often your brain’s way of making a big deal out of something temporary. It’s your brain doing its job. Once you become aware of that, sit and wait for the feeling to go away. All thoughts and sensations are temporary. None of them are worthy of your panic and obsession; they’re generally not even true!

From that bird’s eye view, zero in and examine that inner voice more closely. Start by imagining that you’re in a hallway filled with a calm, compassionate, and curious energy. Then, focus on that little voice that says, “Why bother? It’s hopeless. Who cares?” Really try to find that part inside of you—it might not be a voice but a tension in the body or an image. 

Surprisingly, you might discover that this inner part has your best interests at heart. It’s worried about you and scared that you might feel deprived. It wants you to feel comfortable and safe. It might be protecting you from a loud and angry inner critic. It might secretly need you to rebel against dieting rules, or society, or your husband. It might know that if you do lose weight and then gain it back again, the devastation of this will be unbearable. 

Once you understand that this voice is trying to help, you can also see how it’s hurting you. From then, you can take time to make a connection with that voice. Let it know that you appreciate its efforts but that it’s hurting more than it’s helping. You have to work with that voice as part of an ongoing project of learning, growing, and loving yourself. 

While it’s possible to do this work on your own, it’s often best to seek professional help to avoid feeling confused or overwhelmed. That “why bother?” voice is tricky since it can change a negative emotion instantly. It works because when you give in to the voice that urges you to eat, it magically lifts your mood.

But while it might think it’s helping and it may provide relief now, it’s not helping you over the long term. It’s your brain doing what it thinks it needs to do to avoid discomfort and pain.

Remember: this emotion will go away. If you find yourself going down the rabbit hole, cling to that mantra. You can also chant:

Every time you listen to your body, you take good care of yourself. It’s not about dieting or deprivation; it’s about being honest with what’s best for yourself. 

“A healthy relationship with food is one that is natural and easy and not stressful. It's forgiving.”

“One of those laws of inner physics: nothing is permanent. So it doesn't really matter what's going on in that moment, if it's an emotion, if it's a sensation, guarantee 100%, it's not going to be there very long.”

“So the bird's eye view, this special trick is to remember the impermanence of all things because this is really the core of suffering. We're thinking things are going to be permanent, or we're thinking that things should be a certain way, and they're not.”

“Each time is just a way to learn and grow and love yourself through it and be compassionate. There's nothing you can’t handle. You're just gonna be present in life doing the best you can.” 

“There's always a way to take care of yourself. And this is taking care of yourself. It’s listening to your body and not doing something that you're going to later regret. And this has nothing to do with dieting. And this has nothing to do with deprivation. This is about being honest with yourself, and what would be the best for yourself and your body.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment or take my class? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

This Tool Can Stop Your Food Cravings

Do you often find yourself binge eating? Are you having trouble following through with your goals? The good news is there are several ways to manage your food cravings and learn how to train your brain to stop the impulse to go into a binge eating moment.  

In this episode, I discuss one great tool you can use to help stop the cravings and impulsive thoughts leading to a food binge. I also talk about the limitations of prescribed meal plans or diets and why it is typical that people will not be able to follow them. Tune in to the full episode and learn more about how to train your brain to change your relationship with the cravings and impulses. 

The class will include pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, membership in a Facebook community, and weekly private group sessions. 

The class begins on October 2, and enrolling now will guarantee that you can participate in the private Zoom meetings with therapist Blair Thurston. Participants enrolling after the class starts will be able to access all the content but will miss out on group participation.

If you would prefer more individualized help, contact me so we can schedule a private virtual session.

To sign up for the class or to get private help, you can send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

Why is it challenging to follow meal plans? What can you do when you start reverting to old binge eating habits? How to use the Sedona Method to retrain your brain?

Although we might want to follow a plan or a diet, we often can’t stay with it because our mind’s fears, habits, and impulses are too strong. It’s not that we are lazy, rebellious, or won’t follow the plan—we just can’t do it until the mind becomes calmer.

When parts of you believe that you can’t succeed, the brain will flood with emotions of defeat, helplessness, overwhelm, and shame. Rather than trying harder, this lack of belief will give you an excuse to succumb to a moment of weakness. The lack of belief will sometimes subconsciously try to prevent you from risking failure, and it might secretly have a mission of self-sabotage. Managing belief is a key piece of the puzzle for success.

If you notice that you are reverting to your old eating habits, stop and breathe. Instead of going into a period of sadness, anger, or regret, use this impulse as a sign pointing to what you must do.

Learning how to understand and connect with your fears is part of the journey of healing. Without facing your fears, these parts inside of you can’t heal.

Depriving yourself of food may lead to overeating. But by connecting with our beliefs, we can tap into the energy of our subconscious, which drives us. 

Addiction occurs when wanting something turns into needing something. It makes sense because it’s a way to feel more in control and calm. The willingness to pause, reflect, and turn inward will allow the process of change.

One of my clients wants to eat healthier. However, when she eats, she gets stuck in a loop of uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, which leads to overeating. The uncomfortable thoughts resulted from a memory of an experience that was stuck in the subconscious.

Sedona Method is a simple 4-step process to train your brain to be present with emotions in a different way. The podcast will go into this tool in more depth.

One way to let feelings or cravings go is to imagine them as little pieces of thoughts breaking away and going into space. You may also think about dropping the emotions as if they were an item you are holding in your hand. Imagine the craving as a car accelerator that you can mentally direct to slow down.

The brain is like a machine, repeating what is comfortable and familiar. Addiction or extreme behaviors happen when parts of the brain get carried away with their efforts to help.

Flooding your brain with new ideas and willingly practicing new ways to respond to situations will create new neural pathways. The more you follow these new paths, the less your brain will revert to its old default patterning.

“You will change if you know how to change. And how to change almost always requires baby steps—you don't do it all at once; it’s a slow process.”

“I think it's helpful to remember that what you fear is what is going to lead you to a place of greater wisdom and abilities. So, what you fear is exactly what you need in order to stop avoiding whatever is going on with you.”

“If you're stuck with overthinking and yo-yo dieting and disordered eating patterns, I'm convinced it's very, very difficult to get out of these cycles on your own. And getting outside guidance, perspective, and accountability makes a huge difference.”

“At first, it might seem impossible. It might seem like you truly cannot change your compulsion to think about the same things… Rest assured, you can train your brain to shift. You can do this.”

“Belief that you can do this is really important. And you know what? You can do anything. So never forget that.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Do you want to lose weight and change your relationship with food?

We're so used to thinking that the ideal body type is thin, but it's not. “Ideal” is outdated. It’s subjective. The world is changing, and we are all waking up to the truth that you are so much more than the body which carries you through life. Yes of course we all want to look a certain way, and it’s not a bad thing to attempt to remember to choose healthy foods and slow down the speed of our eating and pay attention at the moment we put food in our mouth. It’s not a bad thing to want to lose some weight at times. It’s a very good thing to exercise and to drink enough water and get enough sleep. The problem is that we take this too far and overfocus on our bodies, and then we become anxious and preoccupied. We retreat into our minds and notice every little change in our flesh or the tightness of our clothes, and only when our weight is down or we don’t feel bloated or heavy can we have a good day. When we get this attached to our weight our inner beauty is completely blocked off. 

This is madness. This is no way to live a life. 

What if your body is OK the way it is right now? If you are certain that it’s not, that you’d feel better physically in a lighter body, then what if you could find a way to want to eat healthy foods and lose some weight without the intensity of needing this? What if you could find a way to detach from the outcome (thinner) and just get on with your life without caring so much? The irony of course is that you would probably stop overeating if you didn’t make your body appearance and food so valuable in your mind. 

Also, some people inherit a genetic tendency to have more fat cells on their stomach or their legs or some other body part. Some people inherit a more muscular body, or a body that is supposed to be on the large side. But every day, the media tells us how to get thin and lose weight and match the ideal presented in magazines. It’s deeply embedded in the cultural narrative. This perfect body obsession is a recipe for stress, hypervigilance and anxiety and it’s never going to work if your body is genetically out of alignment with your ideal image. It promotes a diet mentality that will end up fueling overeating and using food for relief and relaxation. Living with the diet mentality  will never give you peace of mind, and it usually won’t help you get the body you want anyway. 

You need to find a middle ground. Calm down. Perhaps be present in your current body without fearing it or hating it so much. 

In this podcast episode, I talk about body positivity. I will be digging into what I mean by this and why it matters. You’ll also learn how you can eat intuitively and why you must view your body and all bodies from a different lens. Accepting an obese body is the best first step in changing it. 

Tune in to the full episode to learn more about how your thoughts can create actual physical changes in the body.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

Understand the human tendency to judge people by their body sizes. Learn more about what a healthy body weight really means. Learn about  intuitive eating and how it can help you.

The stigma of obesity heavily damages the human psyche. Many of the problems associated with obesity come from it. By letting go of needing to control our bodies and lose weight, we become naturally calmer. Your body parts have committed no crime. They're working and doing what they're supposed to do: supporting you, metabolizing your food. 

We’re taught to value thinness, activity, productivity, and discipline. Many of my clients with large bodies are terrified of being thought of as lazy, unproductive, or undisciplined. Nothing could be farther from the truth. What do those things have to do with body size? Nothing.

Just like people in the "Me Too" movement, we suffer from victimization. What's different is victimizing ourselves is something more likely. We have to take responsibility for ourselves. We need to be the first ones to stop judging and hating our bodies. We need to get off our diets.

Every time we go online or go outdoors, we're bombarded by information. Magazines, billboards, and TV commercials try to sway us. They move us towards believing we aren't good enough unless we look a certain way. They say there must be something wrong with us.

The idea ever since was that female bodies should be petite for them to be feminine. To me, femininity is not about body size. It’s about the energy we transmit. It’s about being openhearted, kind, and taking care of others and ourselves in a way that still leaves space for strength, wisdom, and intelligence.

Data show that people who had BMI in the obese range did not necessarily have less death and less disease than thin people. This proves that weight loss and dieting don't give people better health. As you go on more, your body becomes confused and afraid of starving.  The practice was making the body overcompensate and compromising the ability to lose weight.

I believe most of the people I work with are less interested in disease and more interested in feeling judged in their appearance. Our goal is to learn to love and accept your body. Stop being mean to yourself, and embrace who you are.

Intuitive eating is learning how to eat what the body wants in the portions that the body might want. It’s eating in the present tense and not thinking about what you’re supposed to eat. Weight loss is the side effect of loving yourself. The bottom line is, can you get out of the way and just let the body figure it out and find its way?

Some people with eating disorders believe that certain foods feel bad in their body, but the truth is they don't feel as bad — it is their mind tricking them. It's the fear that creates more of the problem than the food itself because fear can create physical symptoms in the body.

Your goal should not be about being in control. Change your goal to be about self-care. It has to be about seeing what is attractive about the body that you have right this second and looking at all bodies more holistically. If you want control, you're not going to get control. Wanting and trying is not the same as having control.

“As you look at women who have large bodies, I want you to see those large bodies in a different way—as strong, as capable, as loving, as helpful bodies. There’s nothing wrong with them at all.”

“Why would we or should we even care about somebody else’s body? Why are we judging it? It’s a funny thing when you stop and think about it. How is somebody else’s body size relevant to your life at all?”

“It is time to change your idea that your body is supposed to fit a standard that used to be like a Barbie and a Ken doll.”

“The greater goal has got to be to learn how to care for, in respect for, your body. The greater goal has to be to learn how to listen to it, to learn how to prioritize food, shopping, and planning, so you can have on hand foods that work well for you.”

“Body size acceptance does not mean that you stop caring about your body. Instead, you start loving your body. You want to make it the best body for your life purpose.”

Resources

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about how to communicate in a way that will leave you with less stress, with a better outcome, and with your need to be heard being met.  Eating problems can happen when you avoid communication and conflict altogether, or when you go the other direction and explode into anger, nagging, or tears.  Betsy gives specific client examples and explains the method known as Nonviolent Communication. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about codependent relationships, and how these can create emotional disruption and overeating.  She talks about the concept of codependency and what to do to move towards healthier relationships with those who we love. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about how people pleasing creates exhaustion, resentment, and an inauthentic life. She talks about ways to recognize and change this behavior, and how it connects with perfectionism, communication, setting boundaries, and codependency. When people have a calmer internal world, there will be a much greater ability to make healthy food choices 

Do you often find yourself craving food and feeling the need to control what you eat at the same time? If you want to stop this overwhelming tug of war once and for all, sometimes you need to delve deep into yourself and find out why these feelings surface.   IFS, or internal family systems therapy, understands that we are made up of multiple “parts” inside of us that are either needing to protect us or that hold our vulnerabilities. 

In this episode, I discuss how you might talk to the parts of yourself that overwhelm you with cravings. Extreme cravings or a need to rebel against diet rules often are rooted in past experiences of deprivation or shame. We all have these little parts inside of us that developed to protect us. When we learn how to separate from and understand them, we can get them to change. 

Tune in to the full episode and learn more about what to do the next time you’re craving food.

Identify and connect with the parts of yourself causing you to have extreme reactions when craving food. Find out how you can connect with the different parts within you.  Learn actionable tips on what to do when you’re craving food. 

Intuitive eating is a way of eating where you listen to your body and tune into internal hunger and fullness cues. It requires you to trust your ability to self-regulate. You learn to give yourself food boundaries not because you have to, but because you want to feel good and empowered. Intuitive eaters flow with the ups and downs of eating without being extreme.

Intuitive eating may be difficult to achieve for people who have a history of eating disorders. One of my clients described how she found it hard to resist craving food, and convinced herself that since it was what she was craving it would be justified. She thought this was intuitive eating. She was not practicing intuitive eating though, because she was not connected to a peaceful wisdom space. Instead, she was under the spell of the loud, scared, and protective parts inside of her. She was craving from a scared or defiant place. 

There are often three primary parts of you involved in an overeating or craving cycle. One will have an extreme need to eat, the second will have an extreme need to not eat and might be demanding and critical of you,  and the third is the part that will try to figure out what to do. Sometimes the third part is pure shame. 

Many of my clients find it hard to make food decisions because all these parts working together at the same time just leads to a shutdown. You need to take a step back and investigate why these sides feel so strongly. 

When we want to overcome this anxiety and overwhelm around food decisions, we need to investigate and understand these parts of ourselves. 

IFS therapy uses a specific technique where you learn to separate from the part of you that is craving food, and ask it what it’s afraid of happening if it doesn’t keep urging you to eat. In this way you learn the skill of listening from a genuinely open hearted space.

There is always a reason for your compulsions. When people go on long-term diets, this eating part of them develops to protect them from being deprived or left out. This part of you may get creative to convince you to eat. It may also feel that if it doesn’t get its way, you’ll be in danger. Sometimes the reason appears to be just the brain based habit of making you feel an urgency. 

From there, what we need to find is the part deep down that created the need for this protective part in the first place. You need to connect with this part with loving care and compassion, and this is the skill to be developed. You learn to heal this part of you by validating its feelings and experiences. It might not make sense until you practice it experientially. 

Often the habits of the brain are just repetitive brain patterns stuck in time. We learn to help our food craving parts see that you are no longer living in the past and the original danger is gone. Usually parts needing food become extreme based on a perception of danger. 

After understanding and connecting with the part that has an extreme need to eat (without hating it!!), you might investigate the other side of the conflict. Similar to what you had done with the part that is craving food, connect with the part that has a desperate need to go on a diet or stop overeating. What is it so afraid would happen if you didn’t do this? 

Chronic dieting does not work long-term because applying willpower will not work forever.

I talk about a specific client who was only able to heal when she connected with her internal parts and helped them come out of the past. She started to recover when she let go of her extreme beliefs about beauty. It takes time to understand your inner world, but it’s worth the investment.  Living in a world of stress around eating and the body is exhausting. 

As you work with your inner parts, you can implement some food action steps. First, you might try allowing yourself to give in to your food craving without fear but with gentleness. Let yourself eat with curiosity. Notice what your impulse to eat food might be about. When you learn the skill of being present without fear and judgment, perhaps allowing your “dieter part” to calm down, you might learn a lot about what’s going on. 

You can repeat this experience of noticing, but next time, perhaps be present without eating even though you’re craving. With curiosity, allow the craving to be there. Again, notice what comes up. You might want to turn towards your emotions and see if you can understand what you’re afraid to be with. Is there an emotion that’s looming underneath? Or is it just a sensation of irritability or discomfort? Sometimes you can coach yourself by saying, “I’m craving food, but I’m saying no, all is well, I can be safe in this moment”.  This is an individual journey that can be very intense or tangled for some people and less so for others. 

When we learn to get the loud parts to settle down and feel calmer, what will naturally arise is our higher self. It will know what to do.

“With intuitive eating, you learn how to make food decisions out of a choice to honor your body wisdom.”

“You just want to try to listen, go within, and open your mind and your heart to this part of you. Because you want to honestly understand why it is doing this.”

“You had this cellular memory of deprivation that gets trapped inside, and in order to get it out, it must be heard and witnessed and no longer repressed.”

“The trick is learning how to understand [that] they’re little parts within you. Once you separate from them and get this relationship with them, that's when you get the healing shifts.”

“We are the healer we've been waiting for. We are it.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment or enroll in my class? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about how to view the struggles with eating, body weight and body image with perspective so you can gain peace of mind and heal.  She plays a song by Bob Sima and talks about it's message and also covers the fundamental food rules that you need to follow in order to get on track.  

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about how to work with loneliness to minimize its ability to derail our goals for healthy eating.  She talks about ways to manage it as well as the perspective that lonely isn't always a bad thing. 

Do you find yourself stuck in a loop of overthinking thoughts about what you should be eating or what you shouldn’t be eating or what you want to be eating later in the day? Do you also get stuck ruminating on thoughts about your body? 

Our mind sends us innocent little thoughts over and over - scientists guess that we might think 80,000 thoughts in a day. But when these thoughts connect to our self worth or to our buried beliefs that we are not enough, we get hooked. 

We ruminate, we try to fix, we panic, we plan, we come up with excuses, and now one innocent little thought has become a hundred or even a thousand thoughts all along the same theme. The mind also loves to think in terms of worst-case scenarios, because then it thinks it is keeping you safe. The mind often believes that if you can just obsess a bit more you will think your way out of the life and death situation of the moment.  

Ha! It’s sort of hilarious actually.  If this sounds like you, well how’s that working for you?

The overthinking mind creates a cycle of obsession driven by guilt, fear, and shame and can quickly turn you inside of yourself. You stay in your head, in your thoughts, you barely notice the world around you, and you might become irritable, self-absorbed, or dissociated. when this happens you will have less (not more!) control over your eating habits. 

In this episode, I talk about some of the obsessive thoughts that can derail us. I discuss specific ways to stop this obsessive cycle and control the thought machine that is your brain. I also address effective ways to set goals and intentions to give you the results you want. Before I recap the show notes I want to alert listeners that I have a class starting March 9, 2021 and that you can sign up now to begin receiving class materials and get a head start. 

This transformative class will include 5 zoom sessions from 7:30 to 9 pm eastern time as well as numerous pre-recorded videos, audio recordings, handouts, and membership in a Facebook community. It is packed with content and comes with a money-back guarantee! You can't take this class and not begin to understand the roots of your eating habits that you might be frustrated with.

To sign up for the class or to get private help, visit my website.  You can also send me an email at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com.

  Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

Learn how fear drives your obsessive thinking about food and your body. Find out about the basic laws of inner physics that happen inside our body when we think about food. Discover how you can acknowledge but not give in to cravings.

When you're feeling out of control with your eating habits, you're perceiving an internal state of emergency. The truth is though, this emergency only exists in your mind. Being in this internal state can make you zone out, mindless, and then stop caring. It’s so overwhelming that you might just get more out of control in an effort to calm your inner world down. 

Everyone’s got a list of regular excuses when it comes to eating. Often, you aren't conscious of these — you shut your obsessive mind off so you can enjoy the food in front of you. Parts of you will be very upset with your eating though, and the internal polarized energy will begin growing. Most likely obsessive thinking will take over. 

The only way to stop this obsessive thinking is to stop fearing the body you currently have. If you could find a way to make peace with your body in that moment, even just for 5 minutes, everything can calm down. One of the very best tools for understanding and working with the inner world is through Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS helps us understand that past experiences of shame often create this cycle of needing to focus on eating and your body. The feeling of being unsafe in your body now is often based largely on a memory of past experiences. 

You are not totally helpless, even though parts of you will feel this way. Parts of you feel helpless while other parts of you will feel and experience other things. Your brain is just a thinking machine that has a habit of repeating the same thoughts over and over again. There will be parts inside of you desperate not to repeat difficult experiences from the past, and these parts can run our lives. When they completely take us over we can get trapped in all sorts of overthinking. These overthinking, dieting, planning, perfectionistic parts always are trying to help you — even if it doesn’t appear that way.

You might think of these thoughts as well-worn pathways in the brain. Every time you think of the fear of how you look or how you eat, you’re reinforcing the strength of this pathway and this part will grow stronger. You might end up reverting back to this well traveled pathway with more and more ease. It is very familiar and easy to think what you keep thinking. Remember: energy flows where attention goes. 

There is good news! You can change your thinking patterns because the brain can rewire itself. This ability is called neuroplasticity. While it's helpful to acknowledge the fear and the discomfort from these thoughts, learning how to engage with them in a different way or not at all is the trick. There is a process that you can learn, and yes, it takes time. 

Losing weight is not a helpful goal. Paradoxically, the most effective objective is, "I want to not care about my body weight." It's more likely to give you the results that you want. To do this, you have to stop participating in the thoughts about your body, diet, food, weight in the same way. Often it’s most helpful to stop participating with them at all. 

Meanwhile, some people have the opposite problem—they don't care enough. But generally deep down inside, they care too much. They care so much that they become in denial. It makes them go numb and eating takes them over.

The bottom line is: you need to listen to your body and your thoughts and acknowledge that they're there. You don't have to act on what they're telling you to do. Calm them down, and perhaps tell them that you're not going to talk to them right now. 

Often the first step is in just noticing your patterns of eating, obsessing, and reacting. Acknowledging these is where healing starts. To be curious and welcome them is a great option. When you see obsessive thoughts, you can say, “Oh, hello! There’s that thought.” Often it’s very effective when for a moment you just notice it without caring about it or taking the bait to go into the world of obsessing. 

It’s very helpful to get into a practice of eating nutritious, nourishing foods on a mostly regular basis. Don't skip meals. Most people need to eat a minimum of three meals a day. If you want to lose weight, you can reduce the amount of food you eat by focusing on portion size but don't go overboard.

Here are some notes on food and eating:

Most people go to sugar when they find themselves in that “go off the rails” moment. Having a goal of “no sugar” can be very helpful for some, but it doesn’t work for everyone. What might be more helpful is to make the goal not to care about the craving. It takes us back to the basics of not engaging with the fear thoughts. Just notice the craving from a separate place.

You might feel deprived. But feeling deprived boils down to feeling uncomfortable. It's just a sensation driven by a thought. When you learn to stay with this discomfort, recognizing it’s merely a thought, you will feel unbelievably empowered. When you get out of the thought stream, a part of you with more wisdom will take over.

“If you want to lose weight, and you want to stop obsessing over your food choices or your body, you must understand that the problem lies in the paradox: you want it too much.”

“It's this physics of life that we have got to understand and work with: we attract to us the very situations that we need to learn to overcome.”

“The thing is, the mind knows exactly what it's doing. The mind is always trying to help you. It just doesn't appear that way.”

“Whatever you're believing about your body, or the foods, or your obsessions, you're really basing them off of the past. And you know what? We're not in the past. We're in the now; we're in the moment. Every second is an opportunity to change things.”

“We can control our lives. We can control our mind when we learn and we realize it's just a machine of thinking.”

Have any questions or want to schedule an appointment or enroll in my class? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

On this short podcast Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about the topic of feeling helpless around dieting, food and weight struggles.  She explains how to work with a brain that tells you to give up, who cares, why bother, it's out of your control........

Reconnecting with the Past to Address Your Food Insecurity or Overwhelming Focus on Dieting and your Body 

In this episode, I discuss how our experiences in our younger years shape our body image and relationship with food. Many of these experiences may have contributed to how you behave and feel around food and your body as an adult. Using the model of internal family systems, you can reconnect with your experiences and find more inner peace. In time, you will be less triggered by comments or experiences that once made your body contract or freeze and your mind ruminate. 

Tune in to the episode to learn how you might work on your relationship with food and your body by exploring the root of your food insecurity or your overactive need to diet.

Also, consider joining my online class to help you learn how to help yourself get out of stressful eating habits. For more information go to www.betsythurstonrd.com. 

Identify when and how your food insecurity started. Discover how reconnecting with your past experiences can help you in your journey to healing. Learn how helpful it can be to have more understanding and compassion for yourself and your inner child.

As an adult, you may have developed an image or belief that you are flawed because of your body and how you feel and act around food. You don’t trust yourself around food, and you might avoid it as much as you can. You might also have periods of secretly overeating. Shame and fear of judgment might happen daily. 

When there’s a fear of being fat or a history of long-term dieting, more often than not, there is an initial source of wounding. And this is often rooted in childhood experiences or sometimes times in college or early adulthood. 

You may have been surrounded by real or perceived judgments around your body, or you might have been flooded with internal judgment. Other people’s fear for their own bodies may have been projected onto you. These experiences may be traumatizing and have resulted in you feeling inadequate, creating an internal obsession over your weight and body. 

We can always explore the past with awareness of the present. Tapping into the memories of your younger years could help you heal from issues surrounding your weight and body. 

By learning to connect with the root of your fears and food insecurity, you gain more understanding and compassion for yourself in your journey to recovery. 

Growing up surrounded by body critics may have led you to watch your food intake and obsess over every little change in your body. For instance, a slight hint of being bloated might set you into panic and hypervigilance. Yet feeling bloated is completely normal; it’s a part of digestion.

The part of your mind that takes over in this way actually believes you’re in grave danger. It wants to save you from the early memories of shame and hurt. But these parts can create hyper vigilance and dieting habits, which can be very demanding and destructive. It's important to learn how to separate the threat from the trigger and calm the internal noise in your head. 

One of my clients came to me when she was in her late 30s. She’d been on every diet on the planet. But she still felt defeated and disappointed. She knew it was very exhausting to live in deep fear of having a certain body type and obsessing over what she was eating. 

What we started to do was to talk about the practicalities of food and a bit on intuitive eating. Then we were led to memories of when she was a little girl who’d experienced being bullied about her body. She was able to get in touch with this critical energy from a curious place. 

Through a specific process, she reconnected with her inner child, and this  allowed her to understand and re-experience what happened in a new way. This child realized that forever more, she was not alone, and she also knew that she was heard. In the weeks after this experience she was able to relax and eat intuitively much better.

Another client grew up in a household where the fabric of the conversation, with her mother, in particular, was on dieting. Food and the ‘perfect’ body were overvalued. Along with this, she felt as if she wasn’t paid much attention to as a child.

As a result, this client was stuck in a world of stressful eating habits. The solution began with her spending time to find the little girl who was shamed for her body and only found comfort in food. Taking care of this little girl brought her much healing. She was able to find compassion not only for her present self but also for the child she was.  

A different client had a problem with binge eating. She felt great shame for being successful in her career, yet secretly having a problem with overeating food. She would follow a diet and rebuke herself if she fell off the track, and then the cycle would continue. 

But it was through working with a sense of quietness and compassion that she was able to open a space for curiosity and realize the origins of the problem. She was able to process her problem by reflecting on the abuse she experienced as a child. The feelings of loneliness and helplessness around eating shifted to understanding and calmness. 

“If you've been dieting for your whole life, and here you are listening to this podcast, I want you to take in hopefully, that another diet is really not going to get you anywhere, we really need to get to the bottom of the problem in order to fix the problem.”

“I can guarantee you that no matter what happened as a child, on some level, you were just doing your best. You're just a kid seeking love. That's all anybody ever wants.”

“It's about connecting with a sensation of feeling alone, or scared or overwhelmed, or helpless, and letting that part be heard, and come out of hiding, and connect with another part within that's listening.”

“We have an infinite ability deep within us for healing and peace. It's there; we all are self-healing. It's a matter of finding it. It is. Peace is always available. Calm within is always available.” 

“We all need to look at the areas in ourselves where we believe we are not enough. I think it's universal… And if we all could work towards healing, our inner children, all of us, imagine how the world would be a better place. We can heal this planet, because then, we're not so stuck in fear and caught up in our heads and worrying all the time. We can be so much more available to life.”

Have any questions or want to enroll in my class or schedule an appointment? You can email me at betsy@betsythurstonrd.com or visit my website.

To making peace with eating,

Betsy

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about the numerical scale of emotions presented by David Hawkins and its implications for how it can help anyone struggling with eating and dieting.  In this podcast Betsy talks about how to change your lifestyle so you can take a huge leap out of draining emotions and into emotions which are more empowering. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD looks at the idea of dieting for weight loss and comments on the keto diet, weight watchers, and several others that are common. She also looks at the topics of gluten, food sensitivities, sugar and carbohydrates

Betsy Thurston MPH RD tackles two distinctly different topics in this podcast. First, she briefly presents a review of the basics about carbohydrates, protein and fats and how to choose what to eat.

Second, using examples of clients she has worked with, she describes how setting a goal of risking disapproval from others can help with efforts at weight loss. 

One key concept and one key word is essential for success, which she explains at the end of the podcast

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about the importance of being gentle with yourself, especially when under the influence of the parts of us that make us feel shame or frustration or fear.  She talks about the model of internal family systems and how to recognize the parts triggered in the fight and flight response, with ideas about how to respond to them. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD identifies the 6 most common reasons why people procrastinate working on their health and eating goals.  She provides specific ideas on how to start reversing the procrastination problem. 

Intuitive eating is the practice of looking inward and noticing body sensations so you can more accurately choose which foods and which portion sizes would be best in that moment. 

It also involves noticing thoughts, habits, and emotions that might be present as you reach for the food--especially those which might have nothing to do with physical hunger or satiety. 

Intuitive eating is a practice of honoring the wisdom of the body and trusting that you will feel best when you can learn to delay or minimize the habits and impulses to eat for the “wrong” reasons. These include eating to avoid feeling bored, lonely, sad, angry, or scared, or to rebel against restrictive diet rules. Most people who live with a diet mentality feel compelled to take an extravagant break from the boring and limiting rules. It’s fun to be bad!

It is difficult to eat intuitively when you hate your body, or when you hate the parts of you that feel compelled to eat for reasons other than hunger. Intentionally focusing on the skill of self-compassion can dramatically increase your ability to eat ideal portion sizes of ideal foods. Sometimes an ideal portion size is very small, perhaps even just 4 or 5 bites. Other times the ideal portion might be much larger. Sometimes an ideal food is a comfort food and sometimes it’s a plate of vegetables and lean protein.  If you skip meals or have limited amounts of protein or colorful foods then you might end up so physically hungry that you overeat. 

Intuitive eating is hardest to do when you’re stuck in an emotionally charged headspace, or when eating habits take over, so this is the exact time when you might want to stop, pause, and ask yourself what food and in what amount would be just enough for you. 

Common eating habits that sabotage intuitive eating might include Friday or Saturday nights, alcohol, the hours in between dinner and bedtime, or afternoon breaks from the pressures of the day.

Taking your time to eat slowly and deliberately is the essence of mindful eating. When you eat mindfully you pay attention to the look, feel, taste, smell, texture, and portion size. You notice that you are chewing and swallowing even as you notice what’s going on in the room around you. You can develop the capacity to eat mindfully at the same time you are present in a setting with others or stuck in a moment of sadness or fear. 

Listen to this podcast episode if you want to learn more about intuitive eating: listen to the episode here.

Betsy Thurston MPH RD addresses the questions of what to eat, how to get back on track and how to have success with weight struggles. She looks at two separate areas: realm of what to DO and also what you need to KNOW in order to succeed. This podcast has a lot of practical information while also looking at the big picture!

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about how to calm the fears and emotions that arise when we try to be a more authentic person or to set boundaries. She describes three different clients, their food and eating goals, and their experiences when feeling exposed or scared and with setting boundaries.  She teaches an effective tool for calming anxiety in the moment. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about denial and how it plays out to keep you in old patterns and to sabotage success.  She describes specific clients and how their subconscious or conscious patterns of denial get in the way.  

Betsy Thurston MPH RD provides 4 steps and equation to help listeners recover from the trap of all or nothing dieting and all or nothing eating.  

In this 15 minute podcast Betsy Thurston MPH RD talks about work with a specific client and her efforts to improve her relationship with eating and reduce her pattern of chronic dieting.  Several important questions are posed to help listeners improve their personal relationship with dieting, eating, and food. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD begins her series of short podcasts with the topic of anxiety.  She uses the stories from clients in her practice who are stuck in fear or regret over eating too much or gaining weight or feeling out of control.   You can contact her at betsythurstonrd@aol.com to make a skype appointment. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD reviews the basics of the best way to eat for health before reposting her podcast on this topic from 2014. 

Betsy Thurston MPH RD takes a hard look at anxiety and how it plays a role in her own life and in the life of some of her clients.  She explains Lifetraps, which are patterns of unconscious behavior discovered by psychologist Jeffrey Young and his coworkers.  Before healthy eating patterns can be achieved anxiety needs to be kept in check!

Betsy Thurston MPH RD covers a review of some of the basic concepts necessary to have a healthy relationship with food.  At the end of the podcast she reads an interesting piece on life called "Here is Your Assignment"