Orthodixie

I recently received word that my high school football coach was celebrating his 100th birthday. I thought he was old when I played for him over 40 years ago! Now I know he was my age NOW . . . way back then. Coach Cullivan features prominently in this old podcast. Even if you’ve heard it, in honor of him beginning his 101st year, give it a listen.

In these challenging times, we are tempted to look back and think, "Where have all the good times gone?" Fr Joseph says, "Take off your mask!"

How long will we have to live like this: COVID, masks, hate, doom, divisive politics, closures, and cancellations? Fr Joseph answers from St Joseph/Houston.

Everyone who's Orthodox likes Pascha a lot. But the Germ who lived just beyond our grasp did not!

You ever had a wreck with the bishop in the car? Yeah, well, lemme tell ya before he does: I have!

FYI, this episode is a gentle rant. It's not PC, but GTGFAT.

It ain't easy being a Dry Fry Step Count Ascetic Athlete!

After nearly three decades in Orthodoxy, Fr Joseph says he’s attended only one real-deal silent retreat. It happened in his own parish. The retreat flyer stated: This is a silent retreat: no screens, no phones, no gadgets . . . a detox from worldly noise and distractions. (Pretty scary, huh?)

Looking back: first, ten years; then, past Mary Poppins; all the way to Arius—even to a dinosaur—Fr. Joseph sings a couple Orthodox ditties, recounts a heretical tune, and concludes with possibly worse!

This ecumenical Thanksgiving tale has developed over the years—in large part thanks to AFR listeners. Enjoy!

Fr. Joseph, just in time for seasonal tom foolery, recounts his recent pilgrimage to Greece and the Holy Mountain.

It is only September, but stores are already displaying their Halloween "goods." What are we to make of this holiday as Orthodox Christians?

Fr Joseph (with help from the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, and Beck) fears his upcoming trip to Mount Athos. I mean, if you were him, wouldn't you?

An audio snapshot of CSR Session One, 2018—with the complete Serenade Night (beginning at 29:07). Ya Boy!

Jesus cast the demons into the swine. What did that sound like? Fr Joseph, with help from the children of St Joseph Church, and a potent dish of Hopko, explains.

What do y'all think of the name St Elvis Orthodox Church? Okay, how about Father Elvis? Er ... can we at least have a church and priest in Tupelo?

An audio snapshot of CSR Session One, 2017—with a montage of Serenade Night. Ya Boy!

Fr Joseph confesses his gluttony and lack of wisdom—also known as his trip to Lebanon.

Ain't nuthin light about the Cross, so it wasn't in Fr Joseph's plans. (Nor had he planned for the absence of family, choir members and director, a dying dog, and his own wretchedness during the time of the Lenten retreat with Mother Melania.)

As the following game show reveals, some of your favorite Bible verses might not be in the Bible!

With the Fast upon us, Fr Joseph remembers longing for chocolate in Paradise. But that was then, this is Yuma.

Fr Joseph interviews Kh. Erin Kimmett about her forthcoming book Hospitality and Joy—available at hospitalityandjoy.com.

With current events around the country following the recent election, this episode might not typify the "lighter side of Orthodoxy"—but we Christians are called to be the light, right?

Do you know how hard it is to squeeze Jack Chick, Batman, and St Cuthbert into the same episode? Not to mention a cow, church school, and bats. BOOM!

Is "Pokémon Go" a sign of the End Times, or are the pocket monsters really unintended Evangelists?

An audio snapshot of CSR Session One, 2016—with a montage of Serenade Night. Ya Boy!

A sermon on the Sunday of the Myrrh-bearing Women reveals shocking news!

It's not often that Bruce Jenner, St Photios, Hipsters, and Fabio make it into the same sermon. Maybe it's time for Fr Joseph to upgrade his reading glasses.

There was a time when "Is it real, or is it Memorex?" meant something. Nowadays, we've forgotten the latter and can't define the former! Even with help from Randy Travis, ELO, Drake, Jim Croce, and Adele -- Fr Joseph still seems to miss his Ma (Bell).

Not much has changed on the internet since this episode appeared five years ago: endless pics of naughty bits, cyber minefields, perpetual gossip, and . . . Christ. It's "the End" versus "the sun will come out tomorrow." So, whose side are you on?

Using Hebrews 5:1 as his text—"For every high priest taken from among men is appointed for men in things pertaining to God, that he may offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins"—Fr. Joseph speaks of the manly beauty of St Raphael.

An audio snapshot of CSR Session One, 2015—with a montage of Serenade Night. Ya Boy!

Fresh from a week at Camp St. Raphael, Fr. Joseph "heard the news of the day—O Boy!"

All the hoopla about a former Olympic star so-called transitioning into the opposite sex (Girl Scouts, Boys Scouts, bathrooms, and blah blah) has just about sent Fr Joseph over the edge. He dreams of setting Fr. Danislav straight, or vice versa.

Why on earth are Aaron Copland, the Dubliners, Yo-Yo Ma, Alison Krauss, the New York Philharmonic, and a Muslim found in the same podcast? Simple! Maybe within the Light of the Resurrection we'll all turn 'round right.

You might not be a Jedi in the Fast, but you may be speaking Wookiee and not even know it! The struggling faster Fr. Joseph calls in the big lightsabers for help: The Mamas & the Papas, The Boss, John Williams, Mississippi John Hurt, Scarlett O'Hara, and Chewbacca.

Rumor has it that this episode is about gossip. But like I told someone else . . . don't tell anyone!

Houston made the news recently—a story involving local legislation, "gender confusion," and restrooms. Fr Joseph, who ironically often wears a "dress" to the Men's Room, rants about . . . something else?

In this episode—an introductory snip from a Fire From Ashes retreat at St Luke Orthodox Church, Garden Grove, California—Fr. Joseph says, "Enough about me... a bit about the book."

In this episode, which features a guest appearance by Fr. Danislav Gregorio, Fr. Joseph intends to show a vagabond who's boss! Hard to explain, but it doesn't quite turn out as planned.

Stephen King writes the news? Delivers the newspaper? Either times are hard or the news is horrible! If it's both, what are we to do about it?

Fr. Joseph says, "I'll have you all know that I took time out from reading Scripture, visiting the sick, and saying my prayers to record this podcast—now with more banjo!"

Where do sermons come from? Well, they sure don't come from Neil Young, Stephen Bishop, George Jones, or the Bay City Rollers! But these, and more, join John Chrysostom and John of Kronstadt in this episode, which begins, of course, with Sammy Davis Jr.

Fresh from the Antiochian Clergy Symposium on "Medicine, Theology, and Healing," Fr. Joseph shares his thoughts on Jesus' healing of the paralytic, and that which matters most.

With the election of a new Metropolitan for the Antiochians and fresh-from-seminary newly ordained men throughout the Church, one thing’s for sure: Their feet are the same as, well, yours! Here’s a three-peat on clay feet.

Just back from five weeks in the United Kingdom, Fr. Joseph shares from his travelogue on the Saints—and others—he encountered there. In other words, what do Joseph of Arimathea, Patrick of Ireland, Elder Sophrony, King Arthur, and Ron Weasley all have in common?

Here comes the summer, here comes the Bride, love is in the air—but WAIT! Listen to this retreaded podcast before you hit the road of matrimony!

Fr Joseph rants and runs for cover—raising concerns, but not hands (please).

Fr Joseph reminisces about Metropolitan Philip prior to the Trisagion for the Departed at St Joseph Church, Houston, on the Sunday of the Cross, March 23, 2014.

A long time ago, in a parish far, far away . . . It is a period of church war. Ortho-Nerds, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the Nominal Ecclesiarch. During the struggle, Ortho-Nerd spies managed to steal secret plans to the Ecclesiarch's ultimate weapon, the Death Pew . . . (Also in this episode, Fr Joseph says: geek, dork, loser, dweeb, tetragrammaton, gamer, and emo.)

Sometimes you can judge a podcast by its title!

The changing nature of words only distorts what defines us in Christ. One way or the other, we're all the same.

Just a few women, at first, raised their hands; later, all of them acknowledged their "sonship." If God's their Father, who's their Mother? Fr. Joseph speaks to gals and guys at St Nicholas Church, Shreveport, Louisiana.

Fr. Joseph speaks in Belleville, Ontario, at a seminar hosted by Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church. Lovely folks, lovely place. But like many of us, they have their work cut out for them—keeping Orthodox Christianity ALIVE in that little place. Here follows a few snippets from our time together.

Whether in tuxedo or collar, whether playing the role of smart aleck or slow learner, one thing is certain: Stuff happens. Be prepared. Say your prayers . . . and wear clean underwear.

Joseph, a priest, is called. The question is: Is he guilty?

Ever tempted by those misbaving in church—you know, the parents? (Of course, kids can be quite the nuisance, too.) Fr. Joseph ventures where angels, at least priests—even parents, fear to tread!

Ever thought of a sermon while chasing a cigarette-smoking dog named S-s-s-tan out behind a mosque on a Sunday morning? (Well, Fr Joseph is not sure he has either.)

Fr Joseph slips into something a little less comfortable, but it's what everyone wears in the Kingdom!

From Waiters to Ask Abouna, from Cups to Taylor the Latte Boy, from Living Water to Green Eggs & Ham . . . it must be Camp St Raphael "live" from Wagoner, Oklahoma! YaBoy!

What does John the Baptist have in common with bees, mead, honey and moons—even honeymoons? Fr. Joseph fills in the details and answers the question: If Zacharias and Elizabeth knew then what they know now, would they have gone through with it all?

Fr. Joseph presents a snip of material that he and Steve Robinson are working on at the St George Cathedral (Wichita) men's retreat in Victoria, Kansas.

This is really not a sermon about so-called same-sex unions. Really, it's not.

Fr. Danislav Gregorio returns to the Orthodixie podcast to hawk his new country music CD. (WARNING: You have been warned.)

Emerging from a long hiatus, Fr Joseph comes out of the closet (!) and runs into a bus full of bullies.

Fr. Joseph entertains questions from young people at Camp St. Raphael—proving, Darwin's Theory notwithstanding, that the more things change, the more they remain the same.

Fr. Joseph took his recorder to Camp only to find that it . . . aged him? Er, the campers' songs aged him? Maybe he took his recorder—and his age—to camp? Anyway, the podcast is new and he is old. (But, he's not the oldest.) Here's an audio snapshot of Camp St. Raphael, Session One, Diocese of Wichita and Mid-America.

Fr. Joseph was with Fr John Salem and the good folks at St Elijah Antiochian Orthodox Church, Oklahoma City, the fourth week of Lent. Here's a short excerpt from the two-day retreat.

Recorded live at All Saints Ukrainian Orthodox Church in St Paul, Alberta, Canada. Fr. Joseph confesses that, for him, fasting from food ain't the problem.

What caused the Steelers' dynasty in the seventies? (Of course it was Fr. Joseph.) What caused 35,000 folks to pray the "Our Father" in a football stadium? (Of course it was the Supreme Court.) Tim Tebow caused quite a stir in the NFL. (Only the Perfect makes perfect.) And Fr. Joseph takes a bow (but how do you say "hiatus"?).

Fr Joseph looks back on the past year and is thankful that the basketball does not determine the wife; that space aliens did not kill him; that Fr Danislav is not a weekly guest; that Elton John and Lady Gaga were not singing in church at Pascha; that kids go to Camp; and, especially, that God forgives sinners (and fools). Thank for your support!

Fr. Joseph bumps into Mariah, the Grinch, and the Boston Pops, as he beats up a camera man, a mother, and a child—all in the name of "winter."

From a retreat given in an historic Southern City featuring song snips from Johnny Rivers, William Warfield, and Paul Simon (just to name a few).

A 3-year-old Thanksgiving "tradition": The Eighth Ecumenical Campfire—and contest. This year's contest winners will receive the new book by Fr. Michael Keiser titled Spread the Word: Reclaiming the Apostolic Tradition of Evangelism. Tune in to this encore episode for details.

Fr. Joseph offers a brief meditation on the beauty of fallen creatures—at least in His eyes!

What's an Orthodox Christian to do on Halloween?

Fr. Joseph travels to Pennsylvania to deliver a series of talks based on the Didache. In this episode, excerpts from two OCA parishes: Holy Cross, Williamsport, and Christ the Saviour, Harrisburg.

Fr. Joseph was part of a delegation that traveled to Syria, September 13-18, 2011, on a fact-finding mission, especially regarding the three million Christians in that country. This episode of the Orthodixie podcast includes the one question he asked Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, as well as other observations.

What's the difference between Orthodox Christians' participation on the internet and, say, secular scoundrels? Sometimes, it seems, not much. In this encore episode, Fr. Joseph admits that his foot has been been in his mouth but his tongue is still in his cheek. in other words: "Let's be careful out there!"

Fr Joseph—in his previous life—rolled yards, bent forks, painted water towers, and was, on more than one occasion, killed by his father. (Some of which is actually true.) In the end, hats off to fear!

With the recent falling asleep of Archbishop DMITRI of the Orthodox Church in America, Fr Joseph was reminded of the many occasions in his presence—especially the one concerning his feet and His Eminence, which is included in this repeat episode. (Fr Joseph writes: "Forgive me; it’s silly really—obviously an attempt at humor by a fool. But even a fool can recognize the truth of . . . clay feet.")

From Bert and Ernie to parents, kids, and a pope—Fr Joseph talks about the struggles and the goal of sexuality in part two of this two-part series.

What do you say when a ten-year-old says, "My best friend is gay"? How 'bout cartoon friends, can they be gay? Fr. Joseph wades in where even Elmer Fudd dares tread in this first episode of a two part series on . . . well, you know what the topic is.

Fr. Danislav Gregorio visits the Orthodixie studio to plug his latest publishing efforts, a series of Great Books that cover bachelor fasting, Orthodox evangelism, patience, and mindless middle-aged mishaps (among other things—perhaps even the most important thing).

Fr Joseph offers an "audio snapshot" of life at Camp St Raphael - 2011, Session One. (Oh, and for him to hear it, that fat lady will need to sing a little louder.)

Kiss the bride ... check! Walk the aisle ... check! Enjoy the honeymoon ... check! (Then what?) Pulling an episode from the "Best Of" files, Fr. Joseph discusses the ch-ch-changes that come with love and marriage. (Just for fun, see if you can identify all of the songs used in this oldie but goodie.)

Fr Joseph is lost. Perhaps you are, too? Great. Salvation loves company! A 2008 rerun about recalculating. Keep coming back!

Studies show that no matter how many people get on an elevator, riders move around to allow the same amount of space between themselves and each of the others. Some elevator riders stare at the numbers, some continue conversations, and others start superficial ones. Uh oh, someone just asked about Orthodoxy! You've got about 30 seconds (and a $100 prize riding on it); what do you say?

It always comes on a Thursday and, after a familiar dialogue of forty days, it always leaves one speechless (so to speak). In this episode from 2007, Fr. Joseph looks at the "Hi's" and "Hello's" of the Feasts.

Fr. Joseph speaks at the Greek Orthodox Metropolis of Denver's Clergy-Laity Conference, hosted by St George Greek Orthodox Church, Albuquerque, New Mexico. (He was going to title the talk "What Does a Greek Look Like?"—but then again, what DOES a Greek look like?)

Everyone from Nero to Kissinger to Osama to GaGa has been believed to be the Antichrist. The weekly Bible study group at St. Joseph Church, Houston, is about to learn from—I mean, of—another one.

From clerical collar-wearing altar boys to (apparently) Alice Cooper and KISS attending the Paschal Matins -- Oh, and you've never heard the Good News till you've heard it read in German, with a Japanese twist and a Southern accent. (In this "blast from the past," Fr. Joseph even describes how to get one's choir-directing wife to "do her job" only 48 hours after giving birth!)

A silly visit from the "Easter Bunny" leads to a serious exposé of "Spring Celebration Customs," the bunny basket, and the Pascha basket—even red eggs—in this timely encore episode.

In the last episode, Fr. Joseph encountered a little green church elf, Elton John, Lady GaGa, Archie Bunker, and Buzz Lightyear in pajamas. In this concluding episode, he tries to make sense of it all (with the help of Ol' Scratch).

Due to a knock on the noggin, Fr. Joseph finds himself fast-forwarding toward Pascha and holding hands with a green elf at midnight in a church where everybody is clothed in their pajamas and the iconostasis has been replaced with ... dirty laundry?

Due to circumstances beyond his control, Fr. Joseph recorded this podcast from his bathroom. This is a true statement and has nothing to do with the title of this episode (which, thanks to St. Paul, includes a bad word seldom uttered politely).

Fr. Joseph revisits "The Tonight Show" and dreams of hosting, guesting and side-kicking (featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Conan O'Brien, Carnac the Magnorfodox, David of Wales, Red Skelton, "the world's greatest grape catcher" and more)!

There is perfect freedom in Christ, but when it comes to the church: don't cross your legs, leave your crumbs, or even bring your gum! Fr Joseph rehearses a few of the dos and don'ts of temple worship.

From handling serpents rightly to singing services wrongly—not to mention girl crushes, bike crashes, and the lack of clairvoyance—the clergy of the Diocese of Wichita and Mid-America have tales to tell.