UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I’ve got to get my shit together?" -- even if your life is... pretty together, given the circumstances? Even if you're the most productive woman on the planet, that nagging thought can still creep up—and it’s actually not about how organized or efficient you are. It's just a sign you've fallen into what I call the Efficiency Trap.

This week, we uncover the real reasons behind the Efficiency Trap and how to redefine productivity in a way that aligns with your goals, priorities, and values. Let's break free from the endless to-do lists and find a path to productivity that truly matters.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/364

How do the messages you received as a child impact the way you parent your own kids? What if we could raise the next generation to be more empowered, resilient, and free from limiting gender stereotypes? To explore these questions, I’m joined by clinical psychologist and author of the new book, Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World, Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD.

As an expert in feminist parenting, Dr. Finkelstein is here to illuminate how even the most well-intentioned and progressive of us unconsciously transmit harmful messages. Jo-Ann and I explore the importance of both validating girls’ experiences, and opening parents’ eyes to the ways we unintentionally shut down our daughters. Whether you're a parent or not, you do not want to miss this conversation!

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/363

Have you ever thought about what a truly fulfilling life might look like to you? Not just a life that includes more fleeting moments of happiness -- but a life that's sustainably joyful, calm, and rewarding.

Join me for this Greatest Hits episode to hear the difference between the emotion of happiness and big-picture happiness, the role of confidence and self-safety in achieving your wildest dreams, and how happiness, confidence, and self-safety work together in powerful ways.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/362

How often do you feel like you don’t REALLY know what you want? Do you ever catch yourself waiting for someone more knowledgeable, responsible, or wise to either validate your choices or tell you it’s a bad idea? Join me this week to learn why so many women struggle with being decisive and how our socialization impacts the way we think about making decisions and taking risks. You’ll hear why there is so much value in embodying decisiveness, and my top tips for practicing self-coaching around your ability to become a decisive person.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/361

As you heard last week, women are constantly taking over-responsibility for everything and everyone in their lives- and it's exhausting. What if I told you there’s an antidote that doesn’t require isolating yourself in the woods or becoming a self-centered jerk? Well, you're in luck because in this episode, I explore the solution to over-responsibility: self-responsibility. You’ll learn why self-responsibility is the key to showing up in a way that’s supportive and aligned with your values, and how to begin letting go of the exhausting burden of over-responsibility. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/360

Society teaches women that we are responsible for everything – from our appearance to others’ emotions, and even outcomes beyond our control. This belief system leads to anxiety, guilt, and shame, creating a constant state of mental and emotional exhaustion – and it's time to put an end to it. Listen in as I break down how over-responsibility manifests in women’s lives, what happens when you subconsciously or consciously believe you’re responsible for everything and everyone, and the long-term consequences of staying stuck in over-responsibility.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/359

As women, we’re taught not to think too highly of ourselves or to believe that we’re "special". Only a select few can be extraordinary, so why try, right? This insidious socialization convinces us to keep playing small- but I'm done shrinking myself, aren't you? In this episode, I share a why embracing your capacity to be extraordinary is key to creating the life you want, and how to step into your own unique version of an extraordinary life -- beyond what history has told us we're "allowed" to do. Let's go!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/358

If you have a big, ambitious goal- whether it’s becoming a bestselling author or something else entirely- this week's episode is for you.

When my book, Take Back Your Brain, hit the New York Times Bestseller list, most of the other books had been there for weeks, were written by authors with millions of social media followers, or both. So how did I get there? I'm pulling back the curtain this week and teaching you how to adopt the identity and habits you need to achieve whatever big, audacious goal you are working towards right now.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/357

Are you tired of feeling like you have to follow a strict set of rules when it comes to planning your wedding? If so, you NEED to tune in this week.

In this episode, I share how my husband and I created a feminist wedding experience that was authentic, meaningful, and joyful for us and our loved ones. You'll hear tips on how to incorporate feminist principles into every aspect of your wedding planning, from choosing vendors who align with your values to finding creative ways to honor loved ones without succumbing to traditional gender roles. It is so important to stay true to yourself when navigating any patriarchal tradition, and this episode is here to help you do just that!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/356

Parenting can be a real trip, right? We spend so much time telling our kids what to do and how to behave. But what happens when they grow up and don't need us to micromanage their lives anymore? It can be tough to let go of that control.

Here's the thing - even as our kids are become more independent, our brains may still hold onto that urge to guide them. In this episode, I dive into why these urges exist and how they affect our relationships with our children and parents. So grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's go!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/355

As women, we're often placed in prefabricated boxes that come with their own roles and expectations -- also know as the virgin/mother/whore paradigm. But what if you don’t want to be stereotyped into these roles? Is it even possible to just stop giving a shit and live your life the way you want?

In this re-release of one of my favorite interviews I've done in the last year, I sat down with top-rated self-love podcaster and author Mary Jelkovsky on her podcast, Mary’s Cup of Tea, to break down the sexist roles and expectations placed on women. We dive into the virgin-whore dichotomy and the maiden/mother/crone paradigm, explore the constantly shifting expectations women face (including a very spicy discussion about Botox), and discuss how to stop giving a shit about other people’s opinions. Hit play to listen now!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/354

Do you wish your anxiety would just -poof- disappear? Most people would give anything to get rid of their anxiety, but have you ever considered that it could actually be... somewhat useful, too?

In this episode, I explore the idea that in some cases, anxiety can actually be a powerful motivator. I discuss when and how anxiety can be beneficial, the importance of understanding its root causes, and strategies for managing it effectively. If you’re unsure about whether anxiety is your enemy or your ally, click play and discover how to harness its energy without letting it overwhelm your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/353

There's one big question most people brush up against when they start learning about thought work: "Is everything my fault? These are MY Thoughts, after all!" The answer isn't as simple as it may seem, and I'm showing you why this week.

Join me for this Greatest Hits episode where you'll expand your understanding of thought work, discover the flaws in coaching yourself through anger, and learn a crucial question to ask yourself if you tend to get caught up in other people's models. Now grab your headphones and let's dive in!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/352

Are you waiting for something to magically change in your life? Or, would you rather take control and create the outcomes you want most? This week, I share four inspiring real-life stories from my students in The Feminist Self-Help Society. These women have embraced the tools and coaching offered within our community to transform their lives- and you can too! Tune in now to hear firsthand accounts of transformation and liberation, and discover why The Feminist Self-Help Society is the supportive community you've been looking for.

We've got a special bonus available when you join this week - so come check us out at unfuckyourbrain.com/society!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/351

What if I told you that facing emotional difficulty head-on -- instead of numbing out, hiding from it, or trying to "positive-think" your way out of it -- could lead to incredible growth and opportunities? In this Greatest Hits episode, we dive into the concept of self-development not being easy, but oh so worth it. You'll discover how to develop discernment and self-trust, and learn when emotional difficulty is truly worth working through. Facing emotional growth may not be fun, but this week's episode will tell you why it can be one of the best things you'll do for yourself.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/350

In celebration of Independence Day, I'm discussing one of the ultimate forms of independence - breaking free from caring about what others think. As social creatures, humans have evolved to rely on relationships for survival, making us sensitive to others' opinions. However, this conditioning is often even deeper for women and can impact every aspect of their lives, including their careers, relationships, self-worth, parenting, and so much more. If you want to stop obsessing over what others think and start living unapologetically, where do you begin?

Join me as I dive into why women struggle with this issue and provide actionable steps to rewire your brain and liberate yourself from this mental burden.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/349

Understanding what you want is key to creating a life you won’t regret when you die. So why do so many women struggle to pinpoint exactly what that is? If you can relate, in this Greatest Hits episode, I break exactly down what it means to want something (and why women especially might struggle to identify that), how to know what YOU truly want, and how to decide whether it's worth pursuing.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/348

How do you know if you’re happy? Not just momentarily, but in the big picture sense of living the life you truly want with no regrets? Join me this week as I outline what big-picture happiness means, how it differs from the emotion of happiness, why creating big-picture happiness involves taking risks, and the roles confidence and self-safety play when it comes to going after what you want.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/347

Do you find it hard to relax if there’s still laundry to be done, or if someone’s mad at you? Most women do. The reality is that most of us find resting and feeling pleasure in general extremely challenging. But why?

Join me for part two of our mini-series on happiness this week to learn why we find it hard to rest, relax, and enjoy ourselves, and why it’s critical that we learn how to. I’m showing you how our socialization has alienated us from our bodies, the conflicting definitions of happiness we’re fed as women, and the importance of learning how to be physically present.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/346

Can you be a feminist and still participate in finding a partner in today’s dating landscape? How can you allow yourself to want a partner while maintaining your independence and autonomy? These are some of the questions we address in this bonus episode with one of my favorite people ever, Lily Womble.

Lily is a feminist dating coach and the founder and creator of Date Brazen, a feminist dating coaching program and movement that I really wish was around when I was dating. We discuss dating apps and why they are both useful tools and addiction-creating slot machines, how to navigate the dating world with your values and true desires at the forefront, and how to give yourself the radical permission you crave to go after what you want. Her new book "Thank you, More Please!: A feminist guide to breaking dumb dating rules and finding love" is out today!

Get full show notes, transcript, and links to Lily's work here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-lily-womble

If you identify as a feminist, you've probably heard the stereotypes: we're "angry", "too serious", and "can't take a (typically sexist) joke". While being a feminist does mean caring about serious issues, another crucial part of taking your brain back from the patriarchy is learning... how to be happy, too. But what does that even mean and how do we do it?! If the idea of being happy confuses you, or you're not even sure if you SHOULD be happy, click play because I'm breaking it all down in this episode.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/345

In this episode I sit down with Bonnie Hammer, Vice Chairman of NBC Universal and author of the upcoming book, "15 Lies Women Are Told at Work and the Truth We Need to Succeed." And while I'm not normally impressed by people's job titles... with a book like that on the way? We obviously had to sit down for a chat. ;)

Join me as we discuss Bonnie's remarkable career journey, from her early days cleaning up behind-the-scenes to leading major TV networks. We delve into the importance of mentorship, the lies women face in the workplace, and how to shatter those barriers.

To join The Society, click here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/the-society/

Ever wonder if you're capable of having a world-changing idea? Or why so many women struggle with self-doubt and tend to downplay their successes? In this episode, I chat with Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and the author of the international best-seller 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do. Amy's personal journey through grief and loss led her to uncover the secrets to mental strength, and she's here to share her wisdom on building unshakeable confidence. We talk about the societal pressures that make women doubt themselves, explore fascinating research on how boys and girls are treated differently from a young age, and share some practical tips to help you stop self-doubt in its tracks and truly own your brilliance.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/344

Order your copy today! Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head - and How to Get It Out: https://www.takebackyourbrainbook.com

Drumroll, please! My book, Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head - and How to Get It Out, is finally here!

Having my book out in the world is such a surreal experience. I’m incredibly proud of the work it took to write it, and get it out into readers' hands all over the planet (and, hopefully, your hands too)! But honestly, there have been some serious highs and not-so-highs with the whole process, and I’m diving into why in this episode.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/343

Order your copy today! Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head - and How to Get It Out:https://www.takebackyourbrainbook.com

Dive into the transformative world of Radical Acceptance and Action with me in this episode! We're not just talking theory; we're exploring how to apply these powerful practices in your everyday life. Plus, an exclusive announcement on the release of the Take Back Your Brain audiobook, narrated by yours truly. Whether you're a reader, a listener, or both, I share why this new format is a game-changer. And if that's not enough, when you purchase the audiobook, you'll get a FREE ticket to an immersive one-day virtual workshop in September where we'll go deeper into these concepts. Tune in to find out more and join the journey to connect with your feminist future self. Don't miss out —your radical transformation starts now!

Get your copy of Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

You’ve probably heard of the term ‘future self'... but what does it mean to become your future self? In this final episode of the Feminist Mindset Principles Series, you’re going to learn how to use the concepts and tools we’ve explored so far to become the future version of yourself, and how this evolution creates a better future for the world. I’ve come to see this process as creating my feminist future self, and I’m showing you how to start creating yours today!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/342

In this bonus episode, I'm dismantling the all-too-familiar cycle of overwhelm that seems to haunt us all. You know the one - where your plans to relax are foiled by a messy house, an overflowing inbox, and that nagging inner critic reminding you of all the ways you're supposedly falling short. It's a relentless loop that has us reaching for productivity as a measure of worth and leaves us feeling anything but accomplished. But, what if I told you it doesn't have to be this way? This episode not only dives deep into why this pattern occurs but also offers real, tangible solutions to break free. Listen in now for more!

Order your copy of Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

How often do you vow to do better in the future, or dream of being different... and how often does that actually happen? Whether it’s a mistake at work, a fight with a loved one, or falling short on your personal goals, it’s tempting to promise yourself "You’ll get it right next time!" But, as you'll hear this week, you can’t just hope or promise to be different and expect it to magically happen. I’m showing you why we tend to jump to this place of delusion, and what you must change today if you want to take different actions in the future. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/341

In this bonus episode (and sneak peek of my new book!) we unwrap the often-unspoken complexities surrounding women and money. We'll take a deeper look at my own money story, the societal illusion that money is a domain reserved for men, the stigmatization of desire for wealth and a few thoughts to consider instead!

This episode isn't just about reforming your money thoughts; it's a call to action for all women to seize control of their financial narratives, challenge the status quo, and redefine what it means to be successful, wealthy, and most importantly, at peace with money.

Order your copy of Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Does it sometimes seem like your brain has 0 interest in letting go of the old beliefs that no longer serve you? Yep, been there too -- and it's all too common. But the good news is: With the right tools, you CAN change your brain and your beliefs. This skill is the Holy Grail of thought work and it can transform your whole life. However, it's not necessarily easy. So in this episode, I'm sharing the ONE crucial skill you must learn in order to successfully change your beliefs, and two massive brain blocks to look out for.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/340

Have you ever heard of object-of-desire based arousal? It's a product of socialization that explains why we find it SO hard to feel turned on or sexy if someone isn't actively desiring us. In this episode, I explain this concept and give you a sneak peek of the rest of chapter 7 of my book- which is all about sex, dating, and romantic relationships. If you are struggling in dating or you're unhappy in a romantic relationship... you need to hear what I share in this episode. Let's go!

Pre-order my book, Take Back Your Brain,here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Ever find yourself caught in a whirlwind of negative emotions? One moment you're feeling hopelessly sad, and the next, you're steeped in embarrassment or grappling with relentless anxiety. We've all been there! So in today’s episode, I’m going to lift the lid on why this happens and how you can nudge the intensity of these emotions down a notch — making them much more manageable. Tune in this week to start your journey towards feeling better... or at least, less bad.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/339

In this mini episode, we're taking a sneak peek at Chapter Six of my upcoming book, Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out. It's a chapter close to my heart, as it dives deep into the fascinating world of perfectionism and validation, revealing why our brains are so hooked on the approval of others and how this cycle impacts our self-esteem. If you've ever found yourself yearning for someone's approval only to question it moments later? This episode is for you.

And don't forget to preorder your copy of the book -- and grab some fantastic bonuses in the bargain -- at https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Have you ever paused and asked yourself if everything you think is... even actually true? That’s exactly what we're tackling in this week's episode, where we'll discuss whether you can ever objectively prove whether a given thought of yours is fact or fiction -- and whether it even matters. This realization is a stone cold game-changer. Listen in to hear why.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/338

If you've ever found yourself in a silent war with your body, or comparing yourself to everyone around you as soon as you walk into a room -- trust me, you're not the only one. But, here's a thought: what if it's not about changing what's on your plate, but rather rethinking how we consume these pervasive cultural stories that mess with our heads? In today's episode, we're going to chat about a chapter from my book that's all about how our patriarchal society shapes the way we see our bodies -- and how to reclaim our bodies as ours and ours alone, and appreciate them for the incredible vessels of life they truly are.

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Behind the door of self-coaching lies an entirely new version of you and your life... but there are three keys required to unlock that door. Almost every time I coach someone, they're missing one, two, or all three of these keys -- and it's blocking them from the transformation they want. Today, I'll teach you exactly what the keys are, which one you might be missing, and what to do next. Let's go!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/337

In this bonus episode, we delve into the common struggle of changing bad habits and behaviors. Kara shares her personal experience of feeling stuck in a cycle of vowing to be different but not knowing how, until she discovered the key to breaking free. Learn how understanding the impact of our thoughts on our behavior is the first step to creating lasting change. Plus, discover the disappearing bonus of the week in this limited mini-series!

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

You know how it kind of feels like everything is going wrong with the world at once right now? There’s war, climate concerns, an upcoming election, and more. Staying on top of the news is so stressful but ignoring it doesn’t seem like an option either. It’s exhausting and demoralizing and it’s a lot for our brains to handle. But don't worry, I've got you. This episode is going to help you solve this conundrum and figure out how to stay informed and realistic without just bottoming out in despair.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/336

If you've ever felt like you're at the mercy of your negative emotions... you're not alone. And in a world of self-help advice that insists you should "Feel your feelings!", what are you supposed to do when those feelings become overwhelming, and you just want them gone? In this second episode of my new limited series, allow me to introduce you to the three Rs of emotions, and offer you three different ways of handling those negative feelings when they pop up (along with a sneak peek of my upcoming book, Take Back Your Brain!)

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Have you ever felt embarrassed about perusing the self-help section of a bookstore or reading a self-help book out in public? Maybe you wonder whether trying to fix yourself is just the patriarchy at play in your brain. Do you even need to ‘fix’ yourself to begin with? To explore the answers to these questions, this episode is the first in a 10-part series aimed at getting us all on the same page about the foundation of feminist thought work. Listen in to hear the difference between sexist self-help and feminist self-help, and how one is deeply harmful while the other frees you. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/335

Have you ever worried that thought work might be helping you get comfortable with bad circumstances? Do you wonder if the idea that we're responsible for our circumstances is a form of gaslighting or victim blaming yourself or someone else? Does the thought ever pop into your mind "Thought work is for privileged people without real problems"? Tune in to today's very special episode for more on this, a sneak peek of my forthcoming book and updates on a very special bonus if you pre-order this week!

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Working hard has gotten a bad rep lately. When you’re creating something you’re passionate about, it’s unrealistic to think that it won’t be hard work. But there’s a difference between running yourself ragged because you’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectations or you think that’s the only way you’ll be successful, and working really hard on something you’re trying to bring into fruition. I’m joined by Oat Haus founder and CEO, Ali Bonar, as we discuss what entrepreneurship really looks like, why the journey and not just the destination has to be worthwhile, why “working too hard” is just another thing for women to police themselves about, and why no matter what your career is it’s ok to work hard.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/313

Society has a way of leading you to believe that the path laid out in front of you is unchangeable. But just because you see other people following the same path, doesn’t mean you have to follow it. In fact, embracing the power you have to create new ways of moving through the world is how you own your agency and create change in the world.     Today, I’m having a conversation with Trudi Lebron, one of my personal coaches, who specializes in diversity and inclusion work and creating just and ethical businesses.  Listen in as we discuss how you can create opportunities for yourself by claiming your agency, and how that can translate to creating business and institutions that treat people better.    

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/221

If you catch yourself worrying “Am I a bad person for thinking that?”, or carrying “Wtf is wrong with me!” guilt for the way you feel about something, congratulations: you’re a perfectly normal human. However, this level of concern about the moral value of your thoughts is unnecessary, and a little misguided! In this episode, I’ll read an excerpt from my new book, and talk about the importance of curious self-compassion (instead of self-judgment), and extending love to yourself in those moments. There's a better life waiting right next to you – you just have to believe it’s possible to see it.

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

My book, Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head – and How to Get It Out, is finally available for pre-order and it’s already been reviewed as “a galvanizing and motivating debut” and “genius.” It’s the most cutting-edge, useful, and concrete work I’ve ever produced, and I’m here this week to offer you the deal of the century. 

Listen in to learn how you can pre-order my book ahead of everyone else and the free bonuses I’ll be giving out weekly. I’m sharing the big-picture overview of the book, why I truly believe this is the best self-help book ever written, and how you can get a chance to win a private one-to-one coaching session with me.

Pre-order my book here: TakeBackYourBrainBook.com

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/334

Do you ever find yourself fixating on something that you thought you’d already resolved? No matter how long you’ve been practicing thought work, you’ve most likely experienced this in some area of your life. I know I have. So today, I want to share a concept that has really clicked for me in a new way recently and has given me so much relief.

Join me on this episode to hear what ghost thought patterns are and why they continue to haunt you, even after you’ve resolved the underlying thought problem. You’ll learn why our brains are in the habit of misdiagnosing threats to our survival, and a simple tool that will help you redirect your thoughts when your primitive brain engages in old, unhelpful patterning.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/333

What do you do when the success you've worked so hard for finally arrives... but doesn’t feel the way you thought it would? To help us dive into the mental drama around how we believe success SHOULD make us feel (but usually doesn't), I’m joined by marketing genius, Wall Street Journal best-selling author, and keynote speaker, Laura Gassner Otting. Her newest book, Wonderhell, explores why we chase achievement and success in the first place, and where to go from here. She’s on the pod today to share her insights on getting comfortable with discomfort, and the process she went through to redefine what success means to her.  

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/332

Imagine your partner, friend, parent, or boss says something to you that leaves you feeling angry, hurt, or otherwise extremely negative. Now you’re wondering, are you supposed to coach yourself out of this feeling, or do you say or do something about it? Join me on this episode to learn what to do the next time you find yourself asking the question, “Should I coach myself or should I say or do something?” I’m showing you the hidden assumptions that are driving this question, how this framing of self-coaching relates to our socialization as women, and a new way to approach the question of whether to coach yourself or take action.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/331

Is your partner wanting to move faster or slower than you to meet certain relationship milestones? We’ve been taught to see moving at different speeds than your partner as a huge red flag. However, Dr. Alexandra Solomon - a best-selling author, therapist, speaker, expert in the study of relationships, and my guest this week - believes pace discrepancies allow us to work on essential relational skills. She’s here to uncover the complexities that our relationships demand and share her top tips for opening up communication with your partner on this topic.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/330

You might already know this, but feeling loved doesn’t hinge on someone else loving you. Even if you grasp that external love can’t dictate your feelings, or recognize how societal conditioning shapes women’s views on love and dating, there may be hidden thoughts blocking you from accessing the emotions you crave. Tune in this week as I explore the distinction between loving and being loved, and which feels better. I’m sharing the fundamental socialization that has us assessing our relationships in unhelpful ways, and what happens when you switch your focus from being loved to loving.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/329

This week I’m talking numbing out with fellow life coach (and my platonic life soulmate and bestie) Rachel Hart. Whether you use drinking, eating, shopping, or Netflix binges, numbing is what we do to distract from, or try to get away from, negative emotions. Tune in to find out why it’s important to get to the root of why you’re numbing out, why numbing feels so good, and what many women are using numbing for.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/328

Now that the holiday glow and shininess of a new year has worn off, many of us find ourselves thinking that it’s time to buckle down and get busy — to start checking things off our to-do lists. You may have this idea of how you have to get these things done or that you have to do them a certain way and that might not feel great. But why? Tune in to find out how social programming is making you feel anxious — not just about your to-do list but in all areas of your life — and how you can get that socially-programmed anxiety out of your head in my free training, The Feminist Anxiety Fix.

Text your email to +1 347-997-1784, keyword “anxiety,” or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety to get on the waiting list today. 

As we wrap up this three-part series on goals, I’m going to talk about something that we typically don’t do when it comes to goals — analyzing what went wrong. Learn how to handle when life gets in the way of your goals, how to plan for the unexpected, and why analyzing what went wrong is key to your success.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/327

Ever notice how when you “mess up” with your goal, even just a little, it becomes so easy to stay off track? In part two of this three-part series about falling off the wagon with our goals, learn what the biggest cause of goal derailment is, what you can do to get back on track, and how you can learn to diagnose exactly what went wrong with your goal in my Get Back on the Wagon Challenge.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/326

In part one of this three-part series about falling off the wagon with our goals, I discuss why we fall off the wagon, how your current reaction to falling off the wagon is actually based on your misunderstanding of why it happens, and the one very important thing that most people get wrong about goals.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/325

I am so excited to share this news with you. My work and my business are evolving and it’s time to make some changes. Tune in to learn about the evolution of my business thus far, find out the secret that I’ve been keeping for SO long, see where things are headed for the future, and learn how you can become a founding member of the next phase in this life-changing work.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/324

I’m joined by Damona Hoffman, certified dating coach and author of F the Fairy Tale as we discuss unpacking the myths and socialization we’ve internalized about dating and relationships. Listen in as we talk about how you can use the skills that have made you successful in other areas of your life and apply them to dating, how to experience the joy of dating, and the key to designing the type of relationships you actually want.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/323

Many of us really enjoy the planning stage of New Year’s resolutions — the stage where you’re buying new gym outfits or color-coordinating all of the time you’re setting aside on your calendar to write your book. But are you really planning for success? Or are you just enjoying the fantasy? In this episode, I’m going to teach you the biggest mistake people make in planning a resolution and how to actually plan so you can succeed.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/322

In this bonus episode, I’m joined by Vivian Tu, former Wall Street trader and author of Rich AF. We discuss the financial socialization and stigma women are faced with including the belief that women aren’t good with money and the idea that having money makes you a “bad” person. Learn what being rich really means (hint: it doesn’t mean having dozens of designer purses and handbags) and learn some practical tips for how you can get started on your financial journey to being Rich AF.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/personal-finance-vivian-tu

Now that you know the importance of resolutions, you may be wondering how you should actually go about choosing one. In this episode, I’ll teach you how to choose a resolution based on a positive motivator: your values. Listen in to find out why setting resolutions using shame as a motivator never works, how to set goals by aligning an area of your life with your chosen values, and how having a positive value-driven motivator for your resolutions can make all the difference.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/321

Resolutions have started to get a bad rap. And it is reasonable to be skeptical about resolutions — they can be self-critical, perfectionist fantasies of disillusionment. But goals are important, necessary even. Listen in as I explain why your brain gets comfortable staying in uncomfortable situations, why the New Year is a good time to set goals, and how goals can help you get to the life you dream of.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/320

Most of us have heard of the seven deadly sins, but don’t really know what they are, where they come from, or how they play into how women are expected to behave in our society. In this episode, I’m joined by Elise Loehnen, author of the New York Times best-seller, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good. Tune in as we discuss the seven deadly sins and their origins (including the eighth sin that was eliminated), cultural programming and the effect it has on our lives, what exactly the patriarchy is and how it came to be, and why envy can be a sign of what you truly want. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/319

Let’s talk about anxiety. Specifically, socially-programmed anxiety. This is a type of anxiety that women, and people socialized as women, feel that comes from trying to live up to the impossible expectations of our society. We’re told we need to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and go about our lives making sure everyone else is happy. Trying to live up to these standards causes immense anxiety. And traditional anxiety-reducing methods like yoga and spa days don’t help.

To get on the waitlist for the next round, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784, code word “anxiety” or visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety.

We’re getting to that time of year where we start slowing down to reflect on the previous year and start looking forward to the next one. And this is one of the most important episodes for planning, setting goals, and trying to change your life. In this episode, learn what an impossible goal is and how to set one in a way that serves you, understand how perfectionism warps our thinking and how that warped thinking is contributing to the way we think about goals, and how to differentiate between an impossible goal and a perfectionist fantasy.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/318

“When are you going to have kids?” is a question that many women are asked in their lives, sometimes by complete strangers. It’s just assumed that all women should want to have children. This week, Emmalee Bierly and Jennifer Chaiken, licensed marriage and family therapists and hosts of the ShrinkChicks podcast join me as we dig into the anxiety around having, or not having, children (whether by choice or not). Tune in to find out why you shouldn’t base your decision to have kids or not on not wanting to feel regret, how to navigate relationships with people who don’t have the same lifestyle choices as you, and tuning out the socialization we’ve absorbed around having children.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/317

To be able to create the outcomes that we want in our lives, sometimes we have to tone down the drama in our brains. But we often don’t have much perspective on whether or not we’re being dramatic, because as women and people socialized as women, we’re taught that simply having feelings is dramatic. Join me this week as I explain what I mean by “being dramatic,” how the facts of a situation may not be as dramatic as you make them out to be, why I think being dramatic can be harmful, and the beauty of learning that your thoughts cause your feelings, actions, and outcomes in your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/316

Join me this week for a special bonus episode with hosts of the Girls Gotta Eat podcast, Rayna Greenberg and Ashley Hesseltine! Tune in as we discuss the intricacies of sex, dating, and relationships, breaking free from societal norms, celebrating the unfiltered truth about women's lives, and even their premium sex toy business.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/girls-gotta-eat

Rae McDaniel, gender and sex therapist and author of Gender Magic, joins me on the podcast this week to talk about the role of gender in a world where we all desire to walk around as our most authentic selves. ​​Even if we don’t have questions about our gender identity, we may question how we’ve been socialized in our genders or how to support others who have questions about their identity. Listen in as we discuss how a positive vision for your future can make it easier to handle challenges you encounter on your journey, gender freedom and what it means, and how exploring what you like is integral to knowing who you are.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/315

Thought work is not frivolous. It’s absolutely necessary, powerful work. The deepest power of thought work is helping us stay centered and grounded when challenging things are happening. Listen to learn the difference between clean and dirty pain, how to not be paralyzed in challenging situations, and how you can reduce and release suffering.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/314

Dr. Adrienne Mann and Dr. Tyra Fainstad conducted a study of over 1,000 women resident and fellow physicians, enrolling about half of them in a group coaching program, while the other half didn’t receive any coaching. The results were astounding — their research found that coaching drastically improves burnout, imposter syndrome, and self-compassion (among other things). They join me on the podcast this week as we discuss their study, learn why residents were the ideal group to do this research on, define moral injury as it relates to our careers, and learn why group coaching might be right for you.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/312

Let’s talk about anxiety. Specifically, socially-programmed anxiety. This is a type of anxiety that women, and people socialized as women, feel that comes from trying to live up to the impossible expectations of our society. We’re told we need to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and go about our lives making sure everyone else is happy. Trying to live up to these standards causes immense anxiety. And traditional anxiety-reducing methods like yoga and spa days don’t help.

To get on the waitlist, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784, code word “anxiety” or visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety.

We assume that clutter is inherently bad or a problem. And for many, lack of organization and clutter leads to anxiety, overwhelm, and stress. On top of that, we're absorbing socialization around the expectation to keep a perfectly tidy and organized home. Join me and values-based organizing expert, author, and coach Shira Gill as we discuss the perfectionist fantasy of organization, the mental or emotional blocks that may come up when you’re trying to get organized, how your disorganization may be caused by your thoughts, and how you can coach yourself into a more organized life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/311

No matter how long you’ve been coaching yourself, it’s normal to have blocks and challenges come up. If you’ve been self-coaching and just not seeing the results you want, there are a few specific reasons that may be holding you back. Tune in as I share with you the six primary blocks to self-coaching and find out why we really have to see circumstances as neutral, why we need to dig deep in our thought work practice, what role shame plays in thought work, and why insight alone isn’t going to change your brain.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/310

Discover the power of coaching and therapy through a feminist lens on this week's podcast episode. Tune in as we explore how understanding the impact of socialization on women's brains can transform coaching and therapy and hear from Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching alumni Jen Fadden, Osaru Anyumba, Nicolassa Galvez, and Rachelle Siebke, as they talk about how ACFC has empowered them in their work and solidified their self-identity, the need to question established norms, how feminist coaching is also beneficial for men, and more.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/309

We all feel fear in our lives for all sorts of different reasons. Some fear can be useful and some fear can be unproductive. Regardless of whether your fear is useful or unproductive, it’s important to listen to it, not to give into it but to better understand its source. Tune in this week to my conversation with author, personal finance expert and host of the So Money podcast, Farnoosh Torabi, as we discuss the role fear plays as a natural instinct, how you can differentiate between useful and unproductive fear, what role fear plays in financial anxiety, the impact of fear on ambition, embracing a balanced perspective, and more.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/308

As a historically patriarchal institution, marriages of the past benefited the man far more than the woman. A man and woman became one legal entity, but the woman was essentially absorbed by her husband — she couldn’t hold a profession or make legal decisions for herself. She existed for procreation and unpaid labor. So what happens when despite knowing all of the statistics and all of the history, you think you still might want to get married? In part 2 of this series about my engagement, I focus on the decision to get married as it relates to socialization, why we can’t completely desocialize our brains, and why sometimes you just have to live with ambiguity and ambivalence.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/307

Most coaching certification and therapy programs don’t teach how to look at socialization and the way it impacts women’s brains and the way they think about themselves in the world. So I’ve created a brand new, free private podcast called How to Coach Like a Feminist: Adding A Feminist Lens to Coaching or Cognitive-Based Therapy.

In this limited series starting September 18, you’ll learn about marketing and selling, the client/coach relationship, how to set your client goals, the feminist coaching lens, and more. If you want to learn how adding a feminist lens to your work can completely change your coaching, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and enter the keyword COACH when prompted or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/coach. 

We're socialized to believe that the way other people act is about us. Women are socialized to want big romantic gestures from men, which they then equate to how much the man loves them, which equates to how valuable they are as a woman. Newsflash: Other people’s behavior is not actually about you.

Tune in this week to find out why our expectations of how we want other people to behave (in all sorts of contexts) are influenced by our behavior, how engagements and the expectations that go along with them are a microcosm of where we’re at in society today, and why elaborate engagements make less sense in today’s society than they did in the past.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/306

This week I’m joined by Executive Coach and Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching grad Jamie Lee as we discuss how to ask for and advocate for what you want in your professional life (and all parts of your life). Tune in to learn about the “outside the performance review network” that’s important to getting ahead, the 3-step framework for advocating for whatever it is you want in your professional life, and how to interrupt the unintentional thought patterns that are holding you back.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/305

The things you do and the choices you make —the direction in which your “life GPS” is set — determine the outcomes in your life. So if there’s an area in your life where you aren’t happy with the outcomes you’ve been getting or you feel bad about them, you may need to check what your GPS is set to. Tune in to this week’s podcast to learn how to make sure your GPS is set to a destination that you can actually reach, why your destination doesn’t have to be a concrete goal, and what you’ll need to do to reach your destination. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/304

Nearly all of us will experience a breakup at some point in our lives (if we haven’t already). No matter how or why the relationship ends, it’s what we choose to do once that relationship is over, that really matters. This week on the podcast, fellow coach Ali Ryan is joining me to talk about using thought work to navigate breakups, divorce, and separation. We’ll discuss how breakups can be a tool for transformation, why the relationship with yourself may be the most important when you’re going through a breakup, and what you gain from being willing to have a happy ending, even though the relationship is over.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/303

Vacations. Most of us can’t wait to get away and just chill out. You might imagine yourself in a gorgeous location, eating delicious food, seeing beautiful sights, lounging by the pool or at the beach, feeling rested and happy. Or maybe you find yourself dreading it because you’re already counting the things that are sure to go wrong. So, how can you prepare for the disappointment that may come with a perfectionist fantasy like scenario one? And how can you avoid letting difficult or frustrating circumstances, like scenario two, ruin your entire trip? Tune in this week to find out how you can enjoy your vacation no matter what happens.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/302

Every one of us has received social messages not only about how we should spend our time, but also what kind of morality is attached to how we spend it. Women have an added layer of time socialization on top of this, because we’re socialized to believe that we exist for the purpose of doing things for others. It’s no wonder many women in today’s world feel like they never have enough time.

This week I’m having a conversation about women and time with the host of the Feminist Time, Productivity, & Rest podcast, Vikki Louise. We discuss why waking up one hour early isn’t going to solve your time problems, how the existing time structure was not created with women in mind, and how your thoughts can be the biggest time suck.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/301

There’s too much goodness inside the Clutch to contain it to just one episode, so here comes Part Two! Here’s your chance to get a look inside my feminist monthly coaching program. In Part Two of this episode, I’ll share about the power of coaching – especially one-on-one coaching – and you’ll find out why it’s ok to need support, how you can regulate your nervous system when your anxiety is high, and how you can join the amazing Clutch community.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/300.5

Whether you’re a new listener and unsure what the Clutch even is or you’re a long-time listener who’s always been curious about the Clutch, here’s your chance to get a look inside my feminist monthly coaching program. In Part One of this episode, I’ll share what led me to become a life coach, the Clutch Community Manager will tell you about all the goodness inside the member’s only Clutch site, and our Clutch Coaches will break down some of their favorite resources that are included in the Clutch.

 Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/300

This week I’m joined by EbonyJanice, author of All the Black Girls are Activists. Tune in as we discuss how to reclaim authority over your own life, how doing the work to show up as your true self is a political act, why wellness culture and the idea of a “soft life” can be misleading, why your inner guard dog may sound different than you think, and more.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/299

As women and people socialized as women, we’re often making decisions from an emotional place, deciding what to do based on whether doing it or not is going to make us feel worse, aka ashamed or guilty — two emotional states that we’ve been taught to avoid. Tune in to find out why guilt and shame are not moral truths of the universe (and what they actually are), and how deciding what to think and feel on purpose will help you lead a life that’s aligned with your values.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/298

Oftentimes the thoughts we think aren’t what’s most important; it’s our reaction to them that really matters. This week I’ll discuss why the way you react to your thoughts can be more important than the thoughts themselves, how your reaction may make your emotional experience worse, and how cognitive dissonance between your new thoughts and your old thoughts can actually work in your favor.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/297

Many of us feel stuck when we experience the discomfort of anxiety. But ironically, it’s not the anxiety itself that keeps us stuck, it’s what we do when we’re anxious that keeps us in the cycle of anxiety and inaction — aka psychological avoidance. This week on the podcast we’re digging deep into the brain with Dr. Luana Marques, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of Bold Move. We’ll discuss the three skills you can use to move through psychological avoidance, why aligning with our values can be difficult for women because of the way we were socialized, and how to know if you’re thinking clearly or if your brain has been hijacked by your amygdala.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/296

The way you think about how you were raised, especially if there were certain things you didn’t like about your caregivers’ behavior, can have a big impact on you in adulthood — whether you’re a parent or not. This week on the podcast I discuss the unintended consequences of basing your self-worth as a parent on being different than your parents were, how demonizing characteristics of your caregivers inevitably leads you to demonizing parts of yourself, and what the underlying solution is to these problems.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/295

Things are going to get a little hot and steamy this week as I talk sex with Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast. We discuss why many women are not having the pleasurable fulfilling sex lives they want to. Listen in to find out what a sex IQ is, why sex should be part of your overall wellness plan, and how getting to know yourself can lead to better sex.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/294

Tune in to this episode as I answer some questions about boundaries, breakups, and relationships. You’ll find out how you might be thinking about boundaries the wrong way, why enjoying your own company has nothing to do with wanting to be in a relationship, and why you can’t rush through the emotional process after a breakup.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/293

Now that we know how and why we criticize others (and ourselves), what can we do to stop being so critical (if we decide we want to)? In this podcast episode, I’ll teach you some thoughts you can use to work through being critical, how to check in with your motivation behind your critique, how to redirect your thoughts about a specific person or thing, and general techniques you can use to stop being so critical.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/292

Being critical of other people is something that many of us do so often that we may not even realize we’re doing it. And not only do we criticize others, we often (maybe even constantly) criticize ourselves. But why do we do it? Tune in to find out what criticism is and understand why we do it, the good reasons why your brain may default to being critical, and how criticism has more to do with you than the other person.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/291

Adults are being diagnosed with ADHD more and more these days. And receiving the diagnosis alone is helping many folks make sense of certain behaviors they have that have always been a bit quirky. But for some, a diagnosis of ADHD can also bring up feelings that are difficult to navigate.

This week I’m joined by life coach and host of the I Have ADHD podcast, Kristen Carder, for a conversation about thought work and neurodivergent brains. We discuss why ebbing and flowing may be better than consistency, why lack of motivation is not a problem, and how to support yourself or any neurodivergent person in your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/290

There is a difference in how I feel about loving my partner and how he feels about loving me. And recently, while trying to work on creating more feelings of bliss for myself in our relationship, I realized that my socialization as a woman was affecting the way that I approached loving my partner. And this socialization doesn’t just affect romantic relationships, it can affect your platonic relationships as well. Tune in to find out the difference between loving someone else and being loved, which feels better, and how you can create more feelings of bliss in all your relationships.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/289

We’ve all experienced loss and grief at some point in our lives. And while we may hear that there’s a set number of steps to go through or a timeline to follow, grief doesn’t really ever end. But, you do get to decide who you want to be after the loss. I’m joined by Krista St-Germain, Master Certified Coach and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast, this week on the podcast as we discuss how the socialization of women in our society affects the way that we grieve, what post-traumatic growth is (and how not to use it against yourself), and how you can get over the grief plateau and learn to be truly happy again.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/288

As humans, logic and reason reassure us that something could or could not work — they help us make sense of what we perceive as possible. But logic and reason can only take us so far. They alone will never be able to convince us to do something we’ve never done before. Where logic and reason run out, that’s the point where we have to decide to take a leap of faith (or not).

Tune in to this week’s episode to find out why a leap of faith may be the missing piece for you to create meaningful change in your life, the role tolerating risk plays in making changes, and why feeling anxious about making a change doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad idea.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/287

Today is my birthday! It’s a day I love for all the obvious reasons, but it’s also a time when I love to reflect and take stock of my life and how it’s changed over the past year – and there has certainly been a lot of change in the last year! It didn’t happen all at once. But little bits of change over time have added up to massive shifts. And that’s the process I teach you in the Clutch, my monthly feminist coaching program. We only open a few times a year and we’re open now through Tuesday, May 2nd. Text your email address to +1.347.934.8861 (no code word needed) or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/clutch to join today.