We Watched A Porno

The Nite Bird is a disco sex club in the film ‘The Night Bird’ … you read that right.We are back with an all new season of We Watched a Porno.And things are weird!We try to take make sense of the 1977 adult film that’s says it’s about a guy who’s wanting to learn to dance.Side note, there is very little dancing.Listen as Tich and RPJ go to town on this terrible film that leaves you wondering, “why?”

Art. Paintings. Sex. Do they come alive? Do you enter the painting? Are the really photographs? What that statue? Erotic Heat that brings a plot so confusing that Inception looks like the ABC’s! What is Erotic Heat? Who knows. We for sure don’t.

A late night radio talk show host is about to lose her job to someone else. How will she ever keep her job? Trust us when we say it’s not how you think. In this episode we talk about the a film that had so much potential yet fails to excite on any level.

Poor Tiffany has the perfect life. Money, a loving husband, a New York home … but that’s not enough for Tiffany, she wants more. So she writes a letter and leaves it out for her husband to find, stating she’s off to sexually explore the world. Tich and RPJ got their hands on the 4K Melusine box set of 1981 cult classic adult film, The Tale of Tiffany Lust, and there is a lot to unpack! They discuss the box set, extra features and if this is worth buying. They also talk about the crazy plot in which a person who’s totally fine complains that life is boring and so decides to cheat on their partner. You won’t want to miss this episode.

We boldly go where no nerd has gone before … a woman’s bedroom! Jokes aside, this week Tich and RPJ talk about the 2011 adult parody film that asks the question, “ would you like to the Picard get a blow job?” How many sex scenes on a holodeck can there be? Is this based off a real episode? Who the hell are these characters? Should we have watched the TV show to get this porn?

An ancient cult, as old as man, has gathered once again for one purpose only; to quench and unrelenting thirst for strange sex. Under the full moon, the deviant dance unfolds. The decadent orgy lacks only one thing … a willing human offering! Tich and RPJ dive into the weird world of MOONDANCE. A 2002 film that’s close to 2 hours with a plot that will leave you scratching your head. They question if this is more softcore than hardcore, and why you should always finish the job when shaving your pubic hair!

CONTENT WARNING: This episode talks about sexual harassment/assault and rape. Jill’s life has been reduced to nothing more than an on-call prostitute, charged with taking care of the other girls in the corporation’s illicit harem. But as her secret pen pal relationship with Winston, a mild mannered park ranger with a violent past, grows into something more sexual, Jill begins to realize that with Winston’s help, she may be able to destroy the evil empire holding her hostage. Tich and RPJ trudge into the “corporate” world of sexual assault and ask the question, “who thought it would be a good idea to make an entire porn about sexual assault?”

By the mid 1980s, the era of theatrical hard-core features was winding down. With budget shrinking, directors committed to shooting on film often shows to focus on smaller sets or single location, films, while attempting to include as much star power as they could get. Amber Aroused Comes from the autumn days of the “golden age” of adult cinema. Terry Schaffer ( Amber Lynn ) has gotten a job as a live in made for a sex crazed couple! Determined to serve and satisfy their every need Terry zoom becomes a nonstop, sexual dynamo as friends and neighbours alike are itching to get in on the action. Tich and RPJ sit down to discuss Burt Reynolds look-alikes, falling asleep after blowjobs, the ethics of having sex with a robot, why Ron Jeremy should be punched in the face, Pipe smoking and much more!

Tich and RPJ dive into the problematic world of Vixens of Kung-Fu and deconstruct this bonkers 1975 “film”. Who is Yin? In fact, who is Yang? Odd fighting whilst naked. White folks playing Asian characters. Vaginas that smoke. Content warning for this episode. There is chat about sexual assault and rape.

We sit down to discuss if this film is set in the 80s or 50s, is this the worst reform camp ever? And possibly the worst choice for food used in sex seen … EVER. This 80s adult comedy film is all over the place. Camp councillors always complaining about almost losing their job cause the girls are too sexy, and over the top Italian/mobster dads.

This week Tich and RPJ take on the Sci-Fi low budged adult film, Starship Eros. They ponder why this 67 min, 1979 movie has a robot that’s human from the waist down only, yet still has human hands. Why does the first third of the film take place in some dudes backyard in a gazebo? Open palm blow jobs, bad miniature models, and the choice to have not one, but four sex scenes in a chair! Plus an entire bit about who really did make the miniatures for the film, and what’s their backstory???

This week we review the 1984 New York film about women in theatre, ‘Women at Play’. Stage director Wallis Greene is putting together a new erotic play. The various young ladies who are cast in said play decide to take a method approach to their parts by engaging in all sorts of carnal activities for real in the name of "research." But is it any good? Come for the sexy, stay for the laughs. Tich and RPJ compare what it’s really like to be a theatre artist to what a porn thinks it is. Plus lots of talk about pets on set, wrist watches being the only thing male talent wear and who’s married to who?

This mini episode contains info on liking and subscribing, update on future episodes, and the theme song to the film Fast Cars Fast Women from episode 1!

Tich and Rod sit down for the first ever episode of We Watched A Porno to talk about the fast action 1981 adult film, Fast Cars Fast Women. Carolyn Jackson and Kay Parker star in this female car racing film that’s filled with terrible fight scenes, a music video in the middle of the film, dirty car sex, showers that are clearly to big for a trailer, and blow jobs to cops! We found our DVD copy of the film on the site, Vinegar Syndrome.