Second Adolescence

This week’s guest is artist Alonso Yáñez (he/him). Alonso shares with us about his own continuous journey of reckoning with and healing from the layers of shame that have existed and taken shape for him. He highlights the shape-shifting quality of shame, the tendency for queer people to develop various kinds of strategies to counter shame and gain value and validation elsewhere, and so much more. Alonso talks about still not being on the other side of shame, still not being where he wants to ...

This week, we dive into a conversation about the experience of LGBTQ+ elderhood in the United States with two women who work with SAGE, the world's largest and oldest organization dedicated to improving the lives of LGBTQ+ elders and their caregivers: Sadiya Abjani (she/her), Director of Training and Instructional Design for SAGECare, and Darcy Connors (she/her), Executive Director of SAGEServes. Both women offer their experience, hearts, and wisdom as we talk about the wide range of experien...

What does it mean to "work with our younger selves," and why even bother? In this solo episode with me (host, Adam James Cohen, LMFT!) we will cover this and more. We ALL carry the wounds of our younger selves. And, like ghosts with unfinished business, the wounds of our younger selves - if left untended - can remain within us, like toxins, and come out in ways that interrupt the life we want for ourselves. Actively working with our younger selves is core to the whole theory of Second Ad...

This week’s guest is writer Jared Dixon (he/him). Jared is a conversion therapy (CT) survivor and this conversation is all about his experience with CT. Jared lets us in to his personal story. We hear about his experience growing up, discovering his queerness, being sent to conversion therapy, and what healing has meant for him. Something so powerful about Jared is how he has used his experience as a CT survivor to really turn it into purpose, through both his award-winning debut novel, Corru...

Adam here, sharing about a new thing we’re going to be doing here on Second Adolescence!Since launching this podcast and Instagram community a couple years ago, I’ve received SO many DMs and emails from listeners sharing about their own experience, where they are at in their own Second Adolescence and healing journey, and asking me questions for advice on their situation. I also keep hearing from folks that they’d love the opportunity for listeners to ask me questions and have them answered o...

This week we have two guests joining us, Meg O’Neill and returning guest to the pod, Gender Specialist therapist and educator Rebecca Minor (from episode 36!). They are the women behind bi+(in)visibility, a community and supportive space for folks who are discovering their biness and queerness later in life. In this conversation, we chat about their group, Meg’s own personal story of understanding her bi identity in her late thirties, and about the wide variety of experiences folks can h...

This week’s guest is Leah Goodman, OTD, OTR/L, MSW, CYT (she/they). Leah is a therapist and education manager at The Expansive Group, a collective of queer and trans affirming therapists, led by Casey Tanner (also known on instagram as @queersextherapy). At The Expansive Group, Leah runs a support group for LGBTQ+ folks who are coming into/discovering their identity in adulthood (essentially going through their Second Adolescence!). This is the reason why I wanted to talk with Leah!In this ep...

This week’s guest is Nathan Serrato (they/he). Nathan is a PCC Certified Life Coach, Trauma Informed Yoga and Breathwork Instructor, and Queer Mindset Coach. Nathan helps queer folks overcome and heal from shame and religious trauma. In this conversation, Nathan and I chatted about so many aspects under the greater umbrella of queer healing, including: the various identities and roles our younger selves learned to take on to maintain value in response to internalized shame. the diff...

This week's guest is queer style coach, Tess Clabby (they/them), and wow - this was such a fun, playful, and meaningful episode. At its core, this episode with Tess is an invitation for all of us to get more attuned to our most true and free self. Tess talks with us about how fashion and style can be tools for us to intentionally explore and uncover who we are and heal from internalized anti-queerness and anti-transness. Tess shares with us about what it means to be a queer style coach, where...

This week's guest is writer Khalid El Khatib (he/him). I originally invited Khalid onto the show after a tweet of his was sent to me that so embodied the healing process in Second Adolescence, and I'm so glad I did. Some of you may know him and his story as the person who went viral with his mom for her 'home for the holiday' food plan. We do get a fun behind the scenes of this experience (appearance on the Today show included!) but also Khalid comes onto the show to share about his own perso...

On this week's episode we have artist and founder of The Queer Joy Project, Aimy Tien (she/they). The Queer Joy Project is a multimedia project that celebrates queer stories: daily lived experiences, moments of happiness and serenity — each a form of resistance against today’s political climate. Through interviews with LGBTQIA+ subjects around the world and archival research, creator Tien reminds us not only of the world we are trying to build, but the community and happiness people fin...

Today's guest is Eli Lawliet, PhD (he/him), known by many as The Gender Doula. This is the conversation to listen to for any of you who may be feeling some stress, anxiety, and fear in response to the continuously challenging political landscapes of our world. Anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is being proposed, passed, and upheld all throughout the world, and here in the United States we are anticipating a 2024 Presidential Election year. Eli grounds us all with such great invitations and advice...

To start off Season 5, we have a solo episode with host, Adam James Cohen, LMFT. Today's topic is on the unique experience of shame that queer people who grew up in an anti-queer world know intimately. Adam talks about what Chronic Shame is, the impact this had on our younger selves (and still on our current adult selves), why he considers this an experience of complex trauma, and how we begin to heal.For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod on IG.Download episode...

This week’s guest is Tony C. (he/him). I loved getting to chat with Tony and was touched by his intention for wanting to come on the show, which in his words was because it might "be helpful to some of the listeners to hear from someone who hasn’t totally gotten their life together and is still in the middle of growing up.” We talked about a shared love of queer YA content, and the power that engaging in these stories has on us, his experience growing up homeschooled and how this plus being g...

This week’s guest is Aubri ('Data') Drake (they/them). They are a long-distance backpacker, hiker, and ultramarathon runner working to help those spaces become more inclusive. On this episode, Aubri shares with us about how their Second Adolescence took place on trail, thru-hiking the 2189 miles of the Appalachian Trail over 4 years, and how engaging in movement within nature became the container for a powerful process of finding integration between their body and deeper parts of self. I feel...

This week’s guest is Chris Curia (he/they). I loved getting to chat with Chris for many reasons, first being that we connected over the profession of psychotherapy as he is currently a psychotherapist in training, but I also SO appreciated them coming onto to share their story because they are someone who began really discovering their queerness recently within the COVID-19 pandemic. Chris shares how the stories of his coming out and pursuing training to become a therapist are so intertwined,...

This week's guest is writer Lamya H (she/they). Lamya is the author of the recent debut memoir, Hijab Butch Blues (The Dial Press, Penguin Random House). I cannot recommend this book enough, it was such beautiful and powerful book, and I was so excited to talk with Lamya all about it! On this episode, Lamya shares about the process of writing the memoir, both structurally how they decided to put it together and emotionally what it was like for them to tell the story of their younger selves. L...

This week's guest is Rebecca Minor (she/her). Rebecca is a Gender Specialist therapist and educator who uses her platform to further the conversation, education, and support surrounding the experience of trans and gender nonconforming youth. In this conversation, we talk about her work as a Gender Specialist and also dive into her own experience of discovering and navigating the identities she holds and how this in turn supports the work she is doing in the world. As a therapist and a queer p...

This week’s guest is Shlomo Satt (he/him) who works within the Jewish Non-Profit Sector and is based in New York City. Shlomo shares with us about his experience growing up within Orthodox Judaism and what it was like to navigate a community with limiting beliefs around queerness and mental health. He shares about his experience being sent to Conversion Therapy and then recovering from that experience, and then later walks us through how psychotherapy and 12 step programs became helpful...

This week's guest is Lindz Amer (they/them). As some of you may know, they are the founder and creator of Queer Kid Stuff, an entertainment company that brings LGBTQ+ and social justice media to kids and families. They also currently host of the queer and gender affirming parenting podcast, Rainbow Parenting. Their book, Rainbow Parenting: Your Guide to Raising Queer Kids and Their Allies, publishes on May 30, 2023. I have been a personal fan of Lindz and their work for several years. They ha...

This week's guest is Chip Hall (he/him). Chip is a US Coast Guard Veteran and shares with us his experience of being a gay man in the Coast Guard while the anti-queer Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell legislation was in full effect. He was a leader in bringing internal change to the US Coast Guard and Coast Guard Academy with regards to queerness and queer visibility in the greater effort to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Chip shares with us about all of this plus his own personal journey of discovering an...

This week's guest is Kami Brannon (she/her). Kami is a therapist based in Columbus, OH. In addition to her therapy practice she and her wife are also working to create a queer campground in Hocking Hills, OH (so cool!). On this episode, Kami lets us into her experience growing up as a Black girl navigating anti-queerness with her family system and religious community. She shares about the challenges this placed in her way and how this continued to impact her as she navigated adolescence and b...

This week’s guest is Jake Fedorowski (they/them) who I believe is changing the running industry with their advocacy work (they created the incredible resource: The Guide to Non-Binary Inclusion in Running). And this conversation isn’t just for runners or people who sign up for 5ks, half marathons, marathons (though if you are then you’ll absolutely want to listen!). We talk about Jake’s advocacy work, but Jake also lets us in to their own story and their own journey of finding themself. They ...

This week’s guest is sex educator and sex science communicator, Eva Bloom (they/she). In this conversation, Eva shares about the journey that led them to the work they do in the world now. Along the way, Eva lets us into their own personal journey. They share with us about being a queer person who didn’t have conscious awareness of their queerness until after adolescence. As with others with a similar story, Eva recounts lots of those hindsight’s 20/20 examples where they could see thei...

This week’s guest is Khye Tyson (they/them). Among many things, Khye is a reproductive rights activist, birthing worker, and founder of Kuluntu Reproductive Justice Center. On this episode, Khye talks about their work and the experience that many queer and trans folks can have when navigating the birthing world, but also spends the majority of time letting us into their own personal queer journey. Get your notebooks ready as you’ll want to write down many things shared and likely inspired by ...

This week’s guest is Jen Isher-Witt (she/her). Jen was so generous with her personal story which was such an example of what it means for us queer people to navigate through Second Adolescence. Before going into Second Adolescence, we dove into her first adolescence - talking everything from middle school, anxiety, those first indicators of queerness and the dread and panic that can come in response to internalized anti-queerness. Jen goes on to share about the rest of her adolescence which w...

This week’s guest is community organizer, Jordan Killebrew (he/him). On this episode, Jordan let's us in on the journey he’s traveled since growing up within a context that was quite oppressive to who he was, having to endure many attacks to his humanness. His younger self set his sights on college as the place he just had to make it to to get through it all and for things to change. This, it turned out, was true for him - his Second Adolescence and his own healing journey began in college. J...

This week’s guest is Patrick Carlos Olsen (he/him), who is the person behind the gay surfing magazine, podcast, and Instagram account, Surfer.Gay. In his work, Patrick is creating inclusion of queer people within the sport of surfing, which has been historically not too welcome of a place for LGBTQ+ people. This conversation starts here and is filled with so much more. Patrick lets us into his own story and experience growing up in Norway as an adoptee, navigating being of a different r...

This week’s guest is queer, non-binary artist and writer, Nat Urban (they/them), who is currently working on a badass project on queerness and girlhood which you’ll hear them talk about towards then end of this episode. Nat brings such an interesting and important story to this show and I feel so grateful they wanted to let us all into it. You’ll hear them share about their own adolescence in which they stepped into the role as the primary out, loud, and proud queer person in their high schoo...

This week’s guest is Nicole Liv (she/her), host of Late Bloomers Clvb podcast. The Late Bloomers Clvb is a community and podcast for Late Blooming queer folks who identify as having come out later in life and find themselves later blooming into their most true queer selves. I cannot recommend this community and Nicole’s work enough. Today, Nicole sat in the role of guest and offered her own story and journey with us. She shares what led to her being someone who didn't start to have full...

This week’s guest is Christos Papaioannou (he/him). On this episode, Christos shares SO many things representative of the Second Adolescence experience that many of us will likely relate to. We talk everything from Heartstopper and young queer contemporary media, to growing up dealing with and trying to overcompensate for shame, efforts to turn straight, and, finally, those first experiences of queerness that open us up to a whole new world of experiencing. Christos shares about the meaningfu...

This week’s guest is José Morales (he/him). José shares with us his experience growing up within a context that ended up being quite oppressive to him and his budding queerness. He shares about having an upbringing marked by a lot of people policing his masculinity and his identity, having the experienced of being told who he was and who he should not be before he himself had a chance to figure this out for himself. He then goes on to share about how all of this influenced the rest of his ado...

This week’s guest is Caleb Irwin (he/him). Caleb came out two years ago at age 33 which marked the beginning of his Second Adolescence. He so generously lets us in to his experience growing up in Australia in a very religious community that viewed being gay as a mental health issue that one needed to heal from, and how he too operated from this belief. He goes on to share what his evolution has been in navigating this belief system and his own identity, to eventually get to the place he is at...

This week's guest is Tanaya Joshi (she/her). This was SUCH an incredible and powerful conversation! I am so appreciative for Tanaya coming on to let us into her story. She came out 7 years ago, and now has such a happy ending but had quite a challenging journey getting here. She grew up in Mumbai and then moved over to the US at age 11. Navigating India’s historically very anti-queer beliefs greatly impacted her ability to understand her identity, leading to a delay in making sense of the fee...

Host of the show, Adam James Cohen, shares a mini update about the podcast - we will be having a full new episode next week and then will be taking a summer break, returning with new episodes in September. Thank you SO much for being a part of this community and these conversations about Second Adolescence!

This week's guest is Finn May (they/he). Finn shares with us about their experience being genderfluid and what their journey has been to understanding and validating their identity and having this validated back to them. He talks about his own experience moving through transphobia and internalized limiting constraints around identity, and what their journey has been to find the joy and healing they experience now. About the guest:Finn (they/he) is a genderfluid/transmasc barista living in Mar...

This week’s guest is costume designer, Saawan Tiwari (they/them). They share with us their experience navigating gender and sexuality, as a queer Indian kid born into a body of male sex within a community that was predominantly white and conservative. They share about their little kid self identifying with the label of “tomgirl,” which began their journey of understanding and finding ways to express their true identity. They go on to share about the evolution of making sense of their queernes...

This week's guest is librarian and mental health advocate, Fen Sturniolo (they/them). Before this conversation I knew librarians were incredible but, holy moly, I truly think its going to be queer librarians who are going to save this world because I felt so inspired and invigorated by Fen and the work they do as a teen librarian, first working in schools and now working in the public library. In addition to sharing about their work, Fen invites us all into their journey - their queer journey...

This week’s episode is writer, Brian Watson (he/him). Brian brought to this conversation his experience growing up as a gay man born in the 1960s, navigating the underground gay hookup scene in the late 70s during the beginning of his sexual awakening, coming out and navigating life as a gay man amongst the AIDS crisis, and so much more. He has a fascinating personal journey that eventually took him to Japan where much of his Second Adolescence played out and how his Second Adolescence has be...

This week’s guest is artist Brandon Rumaker (they/them). In sharing their individual story, Brandon highlights so many gems about the greater collective queer experience. They share about their challenging childhood and adolescence, illustrating the different contortions and acts of assimilation our younger queer selves do to hide marginalized identities we hold. They then share about beginning to come out as gay in high school and about the complicated experience they had as a peer edu...

This week’s guest is writer and screenwriter Hari Ziyad (he/they). They are author of the incredible memoir Black Boy Out of Time which explores Hari's experience of healing from anti-blackness, anti-queerness, and the carceral dissonance that separates black people from their childhood selves. In this conversation, Hari shares about the book, their writing of it, and their life story of navigating growing up in this anti-black, anti-queer world, and their connection with abolition as the pat...

This week’s guest is writer Garrett Schlichte (he/they). Garrett recently had published on the New York Time’s Modern Love podcast their essay entitled "Confessions of a Late Bloomer" which literally before you listen to my conversation with Garrett you should go listen (here on Apple Podcasts, or here on Spotify) because it was such a beautiful representation of what Second Adolescence is all about. In today’s conversation, we get to hear Garrett share about writing this essay and the dynami...

This week's guest is Noris Chavarría (he/him/él). Noris is someone who has dedicated his adult life to serving others, particularly LGBTQ youth through his work in the non-profit sector, and today he’s further contributing to our community by sharing his own story. On this episode, he shares growing up in Queens, New York with his mother who had immigrated from El Salvador. He shares about his own personal journey navigating boyhood, adolescence, and adulthood within our culture of heteronorm...

Welcome back after a break! This week's guest is Nikki Hiltz (they/them). Nikki is a professional runner and major advocate for the greater LGBTQ+ community. Fun fact: Nikki and host of the show, Adam, knew each other when each were in their respective closets and chat a bit about this on the show. Nikki goes on to share about their experience of growing up, navigating the limiting box of society’s gender and sexuality expectations, the experience of pushing away thought of their gender and s...

Today's episode is a little different than our typical episodes (which will be returning on Thursday, May 5th with new guests each week!). A lot of listeners have reached out with questions and comments about the grief that comes in Second Adolescence, and so host Adam James Cohen is on solo today to talk about this. In doing so, he shares about his own personal experience of grief within Second Adolescence and highlights one way to explore moving through it, all in an effort to support you a...

This week's guest is Michael Constable (he/him). Michael hosts the podcast Reaching Out on which he interviews queer people about their coming out journey, and today he’s sitting in the guest chair to share about his own story. He shares about growing up in the midwest and within the culture of football and traditional masculinity, and how his gayness was not something he was cognizant of. He shares about his own process of getting clear on his identity, what coming out was like, and how his ...

This week's guest is Molly Fosco (she/her). Molly is a queer writer in a polyamorous triad with her two partners, one male and one female. She shares about growing up in a queer supportive context but how she never even thought about if she identified as anything other than straight in adolescence despite having attraction to other girls. She goes on to share about the differences between romantic identity and sexual identity and what her own evolution was of understanding these within her. A...

This week's guest is Zach (he/him) who is a real life friend of host, Adam James Cohen. In the conversation, Zach shares about his experience as a kid and the very different feelings he had towards boys and girls, the meaningful romantic relationship he had in high school with a girl before understanding his gay identity, his own process of gaining that understanding, and what coming out and exploring his gay identity in college and beyond looked like. Zach and Adam share about personal exper...

This week's guest is DIY queer creator Becky Blanco (she/her) aka @becky.with.the.good.repair. On this episode, Becky shares about her experience growing up in Miami, FL to Cuban immigrant parents and within the Southern Baptist church. She shares about being a child that didn’t fit into the limited box of what she was told being a girl was, how her devotion to her faith became a place of both identity validation as well as a place where she internalized homophobic belief structures, and the ...

This week's guest is age activist Ryan ‘twinkle’ Backer (they/them). Ryan talks with Adam about a range of topics including the power of nicknames, their experience being a little kid uncertain of their gender, navigating identity exploration in first adolescence with a parent going through their own Second Adolescence, the importance of queer elders, and so much more! About the guest:Ryan ‘twinkle’ Backer is an age activist striving to undo ageism within an intersectional context. Ryan ident...

This week's guest is snowboarder and filmmaker Jack Hessler (he/him). In the episode, Jack talks about what it was like to put out into the world the recent article he wrote for OutSports.com about his experience navigating being gay within the sport of snowboarding. Jack then goes more in depth into what it was like for him growing up and trying to figure out his sexuality while also competing in the heteronormative, hyper masculine sport of snowboarding, and what his journey was in coming o...

This week's guest is Jon Carl Lewis (he/him), who is a spiritual director and writer focusing on the intersection between spirituality and sexuality for queer folks. Lewis shares about his childhood and adolescence, and what it was like for him to discover his gay identity and then later come out amidst the AIDS pandemic of the 1980's. He goes on to share about how his Second Adolescence involved completing developmental tasks missed out on from his first adolescence, and how maintaining and ...

This week’s episode features a conversation with Davey Feder (he/him). Davey shares about his own experience of growing up being unconscious to his romantic and sexual identity in adolescence and how he utilized perfectionism as a tool for gaining and maintaining value and safety. He shares about how an impactful time studying abroad in college ignited something he was not aware of before, and how his Second Adolescence became about learning how to develop the romantic and sexual parts ...

This week's episode features a conversation with Sarah Meyer Tapia (she/her). We hear Sarah share about growing up within the True Love Waits and Purity Culture worlds and how this upbringing came into opposition with what she would later discover felt most true and authentic for her. Sarah goes on to talk about her own Second Adolescence involving the expansion of her experience of sexual and relational identity in her 30s, and how discovering consensual non-monogamy has enlivened her as an ...

Welcome to Second Adolescence! This first episode begins with host Adam James Cohen, LMFT sharing the backstory behind Second Adolescence. Then, we hear the first guest's story! Ish Ruiz (he/him) talks with Adam and shares about his experience growing up in Puerto Rico and within the Catholic Church, and what it was like for him within both cultural contexts after discovering his gay identity in adolescence. We’ll hear Ish share about his experience discovering his identity, his first r...

Launching January 2022! Host Adam James Cohen, LMFT shares about what Second Adolescence is and what this show is all about.