Sex Savvy

In this episode, Kimberly introduces her listeners to painful sex. She defines different terms associated with chronic pelvic pain including dyspareunia and vulvodynia, offers statistics on chronic pelvic pain, and gives some clinical examples from her sex therapy practice. She identifies common worries and concerns that women often experience during and after chronic pelvic pain. Kimberly also describes the four potential psychological traps that she has identified based on her work with couples who are dealing with sexual pain. The four traps are 1) The Credibility Issue, 2) Throwing the Baby Out with the Bath Water, 3) De-erotization, and 4) Post-Clearance Collusion.

In this episode, Kimberly answers questions from her listeners about common misperceptions (and red flags) about sex therapy for couples; the prevalence, risk factors, and psychological meaning of ‘golden showers;’ motivations and willingness to perform oral sex; the potential sexual consequences of infertility; and the growing erotic fascination with female ejaculation (also known as ‘squirting’). As usual, Kimberly discusses these (sometimes taboo) subjects with authority, honesty, and compassion.

In this episode, Kimberly interviews marriage and family therapist Jess Levith about her treatment of women with out-of-control sexual behaviors through a cultural and historical lens. To provide context, Kimberly gives a brief overview of how attitudes toward sex in general; and female sexuality in particular, have changed over the centuries. Ms. Levith discusses how some women pathologize themselves (or are pathologized by their partner, family, society, etc.) based on gender stereotypes about Birth Control, Sexual Imagery, Economic Parity, and Intersectionality. She also describes the six pillars of sexual health (based on the World Health Organization definition) and how she uses these concepts with women to help them asses their sexual behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.

In this episode, Kimberly interviews Dr. Marni Feuerman about her new book “Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships.” They discuss how awareness of your personal attachment style and psychological boundaries from your family of origin can help you avoid relationships with unavailable men. They comment on how ‘Limerence’ (AKA infatuation or transcendental love) can impair judgement in the beginning of a new relationship and how it allows women to ignore red flags that should not be ignored. They discuss the author’s list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts. They talk about the author’s list of classic ‘types’ of men who are unavailable and how to identify them. Finally, they offer common excuses that married men give to affair partners to justify their behavior, such as “my wife doesn’t have sex with me” or “she’s always depressed, negative and in pain.” This episode also contains a Sex IQ Quiz.

TRIGGER WARNING—This episode of Sex Savvy contains graphic material and specific details about actual murder cases involving sexual torture and necrophilia. In this episode, Kimberly interviews world renowned forensic psychiatrist Dr. Phillip Resnick. His professional body of work, integrity, and expertise are highly respected in the international psychiatric community. He has published more than 200 articles and book chapters about legal insanity as a criminal defense and many other aspects of psychiatry and law. He is an expert witness who has consulted on or testified in many of the most infamous murder trials of the past 45 years. He is a beloved professor and presenter who has been invited to give lectures in more than 25 countries. Kimberly has been fortunate to attend some of his trainings in Europe, Africa and Asia. When there is a mass shooting, a serial killer is on the loose, or a mother murders her own children, Dr. Resnick is always in the short list to be contacted for his expertise. He is the world authority on mothers who kill their own children; and even coined the term, neonaticide, which is when a mother kills her newborn within the first 24 hours of life. Dr. Resnick also happens to be Kimberly’s father and the primary inspiration for her career.

In this episode, Kimberly shares her decoding primer for sexual jargon currently used in the digital world. If you ever wondered what ‘bread-crumbing,’ ‘stashing,’ ‘lovebombing’, ‘zaddy,’ ‘orbiting,’ ‘cuffing,’ ‘phubbing,’ or ‘big dick energy’ is, now is your chance to learn! Kimberly defines more than four dozen hook up/dating terms and phrases in this informative episode. She comments on how, although the names are new, many of the dynamics have been around forever. She addresses the psychology behind many of the terms and tries to frame the underlying motivations for both men and women.

This is Part 2 of a 2-part episode on hook up apps. Kimberly’s guests continue their conversation about why they use hook up apps, why the sex is often unsatisfying, and how they maneuver when there is no chemistry once they get in the bedroom. The women share that they often hold back their orgasms because they feel their hook up partner did not “earn” the privilege of witnessing their authentic orgasm. The go on to share that they “fake” orgasm to avoid upsetting the sex partner or hurting their feelings. This episode also includes a Sex IQ Quiz that you won’t want to miss.

In this episode Kimberly interviews three single millennials (one man and two women) about their experiences, opinions, and insights on hook up apps, such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hatch. They explain which apps for best for just hook ups; and which are better for people seeking more than just sex. They talk about sexual expectations, texting etiquette, male and female insecurities, and why they swipe right or left. They all admit to ‘ghosting’ and the motivations behind it. The ladies discuss “creepy vibes” and how they determine who they will meet in real life. They all agree that sex is less intimate than meeting people’s friends and families. Each guest shares their pet peeves and things they simply can’t resist.

In this episode Kimberly interviews a longstanding client about his sexless relationship and his ambivalence regarding his masculinity and sexual energy. He explains why he believes masculinity is inherently aggressive and predatory; and how his lifelong ambivalence about his masculinity made it difficult for him to express his erotic interests/needs in his relationship. He further explains how expectations (sexual and otherwise) feel burdensome to him. He recalls a story from his youth when a girl gave him ‘love notes’ at school and it made him angry and embarrassed because she ‘expected’ something from him that he could not (and did not want to) deliver. He candidly describes his ongoing struggles with intimacy and commitment. In her own special way, Kimberly facilitates an honest, compelling, and therapeutic dialogue that allows her client to share his sexual story with authenticity and humor.

In this episode, Kimberly interviews fellow sex therapist Dr. Shannon Chavez. They discuss how chronic illness (such as Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Thyroid Disease, and pelvic pain) and acute illness (such as Cancer) impact the phases of sexual response and affect emotional intimacy in a relationship. They also discuss how Autism, physical disability, and Aging bring their own unique set of sexual challenges; and how stigmas about each of these special populations may affect sexual health and satisfaction. Finally, they explore how early messages and beliefs from religion can undermine one’s sexual comfort and expression. Dr. Chavez calls this ‘spiritual trauma’ and describes how she approaches this in therapy with her clients.

In this episode, Kimberly interviews Dr. Hernando Chaves about his progressive approach to sex therapy and sexual health. The two certified sex therapists share some of their favorite interventions and describe trends in each of their practices. They discuss the impact of keeping secrets, different manifestations of consensual non-monogamy, and how understanding a partner’s love language can decrease resentment and improve communication and empathy. In addition to the interview. Kimberly also gives a Sex IQ Quiz on the neurochemicals Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Adrenaline.

In this episode, Kimberly discusses child and adolescent sexual development. She describes normative, predictable behaviors based on age and gender; and outlines red flags that could be signs of sexual abuse. She highlights how important it is for parents to begin a lifelong conversation about sex with their children to reduce the intergenerational shame and guilt that keep sex taboo in our culture. She shares personal anecdotes about raising her three sons and introducing them to biological, reproductive, and sexual concepts at developmentally appropriate ages. She encourages parents to use books (she recommends her favorites) to help them determine what to share and teach about sex at different stages. She encourages parents to use proper names for body parts and avoid cutesy or silly nicknames for genitals. She discusses the benefits of preparing kids for puberty and how their bodies will change. She also emphasizes the importance of discussing consent, contraception, sexually transmitted infections, and boundaries with tweeners and teens.

In this episode, Kimberly highlights how biomedical engineering can improve sexual functioning and reproduction. She discusses innovations in penile and uterine transplants and how these surgeries can restore fertility and function in men and women. Kimberly describes a soon-to-be released contraception for men called Vasalgel, which is a long-acting, non-hormonal product with a significant advantage over vasectomy because it is easily reversable. This contraceptive is not FDA-approved or available, but is currently undergoing clinical trials overseas. Her guest is sexual medicine physician Joshua Gonzalez, M.D. They discuss the use of platelet-rich plasma (PRP) to treat erectile dysfunction in men and the use of lasers to treat pelvic pain and post-menopausal pain in women. Kimberly completes the episode with an email from a listener seeking guidance regarding her gay son’s colo-rectal health.

In this episode, Kimberly takes a deep dive into the world of sex robots. She starts out by referencing certain female archetypes in mythology, literature, and film. She describes the latest and greatest technological innovations; and how artificial intelligence is now being used to make sexbots seem as human as possible. She shares examples of customization options, price, popularity, and demographic info on the typical robot owner (who is white, heterosexual, middle aged, employed male). She discusses movements for and against the use of sex robots and some of the ethical considerations. She highlights the most comprehensive study to date on the reasons why men purchase sex robots and the role that these bots play in their lives.

In this episode, Kimberly interviews sexological body worker Steve Oskard and they discuss the mind-body connection as it relates to sexual expression. He explains the types of issues that can be improved by this type of somatic work and describes the differences between Sexological Body Work and Sexual Surrogacy. Kimberly discusses the physical reactions that some of her patients describe when approached for sexual contact; and how these reactions decrease their (and often their partner’s) sexual function and satisfaction.

This is part two of a two-part episode on Paraphilic Infantilism, also known as Adult Baby Syndrome. Kimberly shares some of the feedback she received from listeners about the interview with an Adult Baby Diaper Lover (ABDL) in Part 1. She reads from a famous ABDL’s personal memoir about the “moment” he discovered his attraction to diapers. Kimberly also interviews a ‘professional Mommy’ who describes her ABDL-friendly salon where clients can engage in ‘age play,’ regress to very young childhood, and live out their infantile fantasies.

This is part one of a two-part episode on Paraphilic Infantilism, also known as Adult Baby Syndrome. Kimberly describes behaviors associated with this rare fetish, as well as theories, the typical profile, history of the fetish, and resources available. She interviews an Adult Baby Diaper Lover (ABDL) who shares his story and describes the role of the fetish in his life.

In this episode, Kimberly highlights and discusses three recently published sexual health studies. The first study highlights variables that determine the number of sexual partners in individuals over age 50. The second study discusses condom negotiation strategies in adults age 18-25. The third study discusses how people who engage in Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) experience barriers to healthcare. After a chock-full “Sex IQ Quiz,” Kimberly interviews sex researcher, educator and therapist Dr. Bridget Finn about her newly published book, “Inspired Vagina, Capable Penis.” Kimberly and Bridget also discuss trends in their respective sex therapy practices.

In this episode, Kimberly discusses “Covert Incest,” a type of abuse in which parents turn to their children for the emotional support and intimacy they would normally receive from a spouse or partner. When covert incest is present, a son or daughter feels more like a romantic partner than a child. There is a pattern of consistent boundary-crossings which leave the child feeling responsible for the parent’s emotional needs (which often leads to intimacy and sexual disorders in future relationships). There is typically no overt sexual contact, but rather, a nuanced ‘adultification’ of the child, where they end up feeling like a ‘surrogate spouse.’ Kimberly interviews Paul Gilmartin, comedian and host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast, who describes how the covert incest he experienced from his mother negatively impacted his sexual, emotional, and psychological development.

In this episode, Kimberly interviews a professional Dominatrix, Mistress Damiana Chi, about her take on the psychology behind dominance and submission. Mistress Damiana, who holds a PhD in Psychology, describes the range of domination her clients are seeking, including foot worship, spanking, caning, and “cock-and-ball torture.” She describes how the Master/Slave dynamic can be healing, in emotional, intellectual, erotic, and spiritual ways. She explains the difference between Lifestyle Dommes and Professional Dommes. She also describes four archetypes that she uses in her work—the "Authoritarian," the "Mother," the "Seductress," and the "Queen."

In this episode, Kimberly discusses two sex-related conditions. The first is Post Coital Headaches. Kimberly explains what causes these painful headaches, how common they are, how serious they are, who is vulnerable to experience them, and available treatment options. She also educates listeners on Post Finasteride Syndrome, a debilitating condition that affects sexual, mental, physical, and neurological health in men. She offers alarming statistics on suicides related to this incurable syndrome. She describes the day-to-day impact of this condition on one of her male patients. She also answers a listener's question about the impact of his fiance's kidney disease on her sexual desire and their overall relationship.

In this episode Kimberly discusses female orgasmic response, the “Orgasm Gap,” G-Spot orgasms, and how often (and why) women ‘fake’ orgasm. She describes the role of the Clitoris in female sexual pleasure; and explains that 80% of women are not able to reliably experience orgasm from penile/vaginal intercourse alone. She highlights five barriers that women commonly express that make it difficult for them to climax with a partner. During the sex IQ Quiz, Kimberly describes ways to experience orgasm without any direct genital stimulation. She interviews author, sex therapist and relationship expert Beatty Cohan. Kimberly and Beatty discuss how they each evaluate couples and how they manage secrets when one partner shares something during an individual session but does not want the other partner to know.

In this episode, Kimberly discusses how evolution and nature subconsciously impact our sexual behavior, mate selection, and sexual response. She discusses the surprising health benefits of semen. She explains how women unwittingly value different traits (and behave differently) when they are ovulating. She explains a phenomenon called "Mateguarding," which occurs when men feel vulnerable to be cheated on. She discusses "cuckold fetishes" and identifies associated themes of humiliation and dominance. She also highlights the pros and cons of pubic hair.

This episode will delve into both the organic and psychological risk factors for erectile dysfunction. Kimberly will discuss a range of treatment options available for ED. She will share her views on why men in their twenties struggle to get (and keep) it up. The pros and cons of sexuo-pharmaceuticals, such as Viagra, will be discussed. Kimberly will describe the cultural pressure that men experience to be good in bed, and how it makes them vulnerable to sexual dysfunction.

In this inaugural episode, Kimberly explains why she became a sex therapist and why she created her podcast. She shares the most common sexual concerns that bring people to her Los Angeles-based sex therapy practice. She shares some emotional “Sexual Stories” from her 25 years of clinical experience. She rounds out the initial episode with an interview and introduction of her ‘resident medical expert,’ Dr. Irwin Goldstein, a pioneer in the field of sexual medicine.