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Your daily joke injection! More gags in 60 seconds than anywhere else - guaranteed! And it's only a minute long! We just hope that some of the jokes put a smile on a few faces out there - so please share and send to a friend who might need cheering up. And don't worry - unless clearly specified, PJ will always keep it clean (-ish.. ). ps, We're always happy to attribute jokes should the author drop us a line.
- 129 - See you all in 2021!Wed, 30 Dec 2020 - 03min
- 128 - High 5!Wed, 09 Dec 2020 - 01min
- 127 - Dinner with KasparovMon, 07 Dec 2020 - 01min
- 126 - Took a lot of balls!Fri, 04 Dec 2020 - 01min
- 125 - Eurostar.. ?Wed, 02 Dec 2020 - 01min
- 124 - Chatting up Usain BoltMon, 30 Nov 2020 - 01min
- 123 - Secret to eternal life...
PJ #123 wraps up another week with puns, gags and jokes on pirates, darts and eternal life!
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What did the Police officer say to his belly button? You're under a vest.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with being a news anchor. But more on this after the break...
Nearest to the bull starts the game. He said "baa". I said "moo". I started.
I asked a wise man what was the secret to eternal life. He said, "don't die".
This next song is all about subtraction. Take it away, boys!
Fri, 27 Nov 2020 - 01min - 122 - Top of the class
It's midweek mirth with PJ #122! This time we have puns, gags and jokes on levitation, ghost trains, strippers and more!
The first day of my levitation course was great. I went straight to the top of the class.
I hear that the Ghost Train workers are on strike again. It's operating on a skeleton staff,
I went for a lap dance was great recently and the girl was amazing. I gave her five stars on Strip Advisor
So I quit my job at the helium gas factory - I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
I released my own fragrance today. Not sure the others in the lift appreciated it, though.
Want to hear a roof joke? The first one's on the house.
Wed, 25 Nov 2020 - 01min - 121 - Put it on my bill!
It's a brand new week and PJ #121 kicks it off with puns, gags and jokes on lipstick, keyboards and girlfriends.
I'm not condescending - I'm just thinking about important things that you wouldn't understand.
I heard about a victim getting encased in cement the other day. Fortunately, there was enough concrete evidence to charge the suspect.
And they say that sarcasm is the lowest form of humour. Yeah, sure it is!
What did the duck say when he bought some lipstick? Put it on my bill.
There are perks to working in a keyboard factory - extra shifts, I love the control it gives, and also I can escape at any time.
My girl says she loves it when I blow air on her when she's hot. But honestly, I'm not a fan.
Mon, 23 Nov 2020 - 01min - 120 - Old McDonald's Farm
The Pun Jab #120 rounds off the week with gags, puns and jokes on snow, chloroform, Alexander the Great and more!
I've just sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I hope she gets my drift.
People learn from history, which is why you should always delete it!
I'm putting a new hem on my trousers - or sew its seams.
I got a new job last week as the top dog at Old McDonald's farm. I'm the new C.I.E.I.O.
I asked my friend if I could borrow his can of chloroform. He said, "knock yourself out".
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? The same middle name.
Fri, 20 Nov 2020 - 01min - 119 - Demerara
As PJ reaches 119, it's midweek madness with jokes, puns and gags on workaholics, sugar, fonts and more!
I used to tell people that I was a workaholic, until I realised that it didn't mean "guy who gets shit-faced at the office".
I started my new job as a tailor last week. It was sew-sew.
Jokes about white sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar? Demerara.
Times New Roman and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi! We don't want your type in here!"
What do you call a man with a car on his head? An ambulance - he's got a car on his head!
My wife says we need more garden furniture. I'm sitting on the fence.
Wed, 18 Nov 2020 - 01min - 118 - My Spitting Image
The Pun Jab starts the week with puns, gags and jokes on Yamaha, Lego, scarecrows and more!
What do you call a laughing motorbike? A Yamahahaha!
I have a twin brother with a lisp. He's my spitting image.
The Lego store has finally reopened. People are lining up for blocks.
Sometimes I tuck my knees under my chest and lean forward. It's just how I roll.
As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field. But hay, it's in my jeans.
I entered ten puns in a content to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
Mon, 16 Nov 2020 - 01min - 117 - Chernobyl
The Pun Jab #117 rounds up the week puns, gags and jokes on sex, street fighting, Yamaha and more!
My wife likes to talk during sex. Last night she called me from the hotel!
Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.
My career as a street fighter didn't last long. I broke my hand punching the curb.
I just interviewed a guy who used to work at Chernobyl. He came with a glowing reference.
The pharmacist said that he only had the generic version of my regular laxative medicine. I guess that I'll have to make doo-doo with that.
What do you call a laughing motorbike? A Yamamahahaha.
Fri, 13 Nov 2020 - 01min - 116 - Paris on a whim
In the Pun Jab #116, it's midweek mirth with jokes on bakeries, Paris, hacking and more!
The Pun Jab #116:
Those who rob banks are bad people, but it's those who rob bakeries who really take the cake.
I just saw a documentary on how ships are held together. Riveting!
My email password has been hacked again - that's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I decided to go to Paris on a whim. Turned out that I couldn't, so I caught a train.
People tell me I'm condescending. That means that I talk down to people.
I tell you what catches my eye - short people with umbrellas.
Wed, 11 Nov 2020 - 01min - 115 - A little con descending
The Pun Jab number 115 gets the week underway with some puns, gags and jokes on duvets, dwarves and cliffhangers...
When I die, I'd like the word "humble" to be carved on my mausoleum.
My wife just said that quilts are better than duvets. I told her that she should be careful making blanket statements like that.
Yesterday I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought it a little con descending.
A man went to hospital after swallowing three horses. His condition is stable.
I'm terrified of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them.
You know what they say about cliffhangers...
Mon, 09 Nov 2020 - 01min - 114 - Letters from Ikea
PJ 114 rounds off the week with gags, puns and jokes on Ikea, Eskimos, Scrabble and more!
The Pun Jab episode 114:
I got thousands of letters delivered to my house today. That's the last time I buy a dictionary from Ikea!
Two Eskimos in a kayak are getting chilly, so they light a fire - but the boat sinks, proving once and for all: you can't have your kayak and heat it.
I saw a guy drop a box of Scrabble on the road - so, I sidled up beside him and asked: "what's the word on the street?"
I met my wife at the zoo. There she was, in her uniform - and straight away I knew she was a keeper.
I wanted to steal some leftovers from the party - but my plans were foiled.
People have been laughing behind my back at my decision to wear mittens instead of gloves. But I don't like to point fingers.
Fri, 06 Nov 2020 - 01min - 113 - Sweeping changes
It's Midweek mirth as the PJ hits 113 with jokes, puns and gags on Taiwan, Armageddon, the Seven Dwarves and more!
The Pun Jab episode 113:
I heard that people from Taiwan are impatient and aggressive - because they have a Taipai personality.
I used to be in a band called The Hinges. We once supported The Doors.
So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world!
The seven dwarves have been told they can now meet in a group of 6. One of them isn't Happy.
I've hired a new maid. I'm anticipating some sweeping changes.
My girlfriend called me a stalker. Okay, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Wed, 04 Nov 2020 - 01min - 112 - Stepping on Lego bricks
Yes, The Pun Jab #112 kicks off the week with jokes, puns and gags on Flamingos, sore eyes, children and more!
The Pun Jab #112
I went to a karaoke bar last night that only played seventies music. At first, I was afraid.
Women would claim that childbirth is the most painful experience of their lives - until 3 years later, they step on a Lego brick.
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
It only takes me 10 minutes to walk to the pub, but 15 minutes to walk back. The difference is staggering.
My wife and I have decided that we don't want children. If anyone out there does, we can drop them off tomorrow morning.
Conjunctivitis.com - now that's a site for sore eyes.
Mon, 02 Nov 2020 - 01min - 111 - PeriodFri, 30 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 110 - Wild West plannersWed, 28 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 109 - Gregorian Monks
The Pun Jab reaches 109 with another "6 of the Best" puns, gags and jokes on kleptomania, hunchbacks, belts and more!
1: Last night I saw a poor old lady falls down a flight of stairs. At least, I assume she was poor – she only had three pounds in her purse.
2: I suffer from kleptomania. When it gets really bad, I take something for it.
3: I was going to make myself a belt out of watches, but would be a waist of time.
4: I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk, but I never got the chants.
5: I got my wife an artificial leg for Christmas. It was the perfect stocking filler.
6: My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.
Mon, 26 Oct 2020 - 01min - 108 - Screaming in terror!Fri, 23 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 107 - Barcode Battleships!Wed, 21 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 106 - Poor for 4Mon, 19 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 105 - A great Subway sandwich!Thu, 15 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 104 - Banging on about alt-right...Mon, 12 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 103 - Mary had a little lamb...Thu, 08 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 102 - Chinese soupMon, 05 Oct 2020 - 01min
- 101 - We're back!Wed, 30 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 100 - Bonds... James Bonds. And farewell...Tue, 22 Sep 2020 - 05min
- 99 - Czech, 1, 2...Mon, 21 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 98 - Guilty!Fri, 18 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 97 - A world of painThu, 17 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 96 - A baker charged in...Wed, 16 Sep 2020 - 00min
- 95 - Swim like an EgyptianTue, 15 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 94 - Working for PeanutsMon, 14 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 93 - Catwoman in Nepal? WTF?Fri, 11 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 92 - Call in the SWAT team!Thu, 10 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 91 - I kid you not...Wed, 09 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 90 - Nuts and boltsTue, 08 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 89 - I'm not a Catholic...Mon, 07 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 88 - Present tense and past perfectFri, 04 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 87 - My first porno!Thu, 03 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 86 - Guardian of the GalaxyWed, 02 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 85 - A Catholic converter!Tue, 01 Sep 2020 - 01min
- 84 - Clown attack!Fri, 28 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 83 - 30 years of happiness...Thu, 27 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 82 - Take out only!Wed, 26 Aug 2020 - 00min
- 81 - Usain Bolt in a nightclub...Tue, 25 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 80 - Cat food is for pussies!Mon, 24 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 79 - A seasoned Chess Grandmaster...Fri, 21 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 78 - I'm not George Clooney...Thu, 20 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 77 - James Bond and Viagra!Wed, 19 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 76 - Samsung's security guard...Tue, 18 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 75 - Say what you like about Hitler...Mon, 17 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 74 - The Lego store has reopened...Fri, 14 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 73 - Five stars!Thu, 13 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 72 - This changes everything!Wed, 12 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 71 - 0 - m - g!Tue, 11 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 70 - Chernobyl's employee of the month!Mon, 10 Aug 2020 - 00min
- 69 - An indirect Star Wars droid...Fri, 07 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 68 - A street-fighting man...Thu, 06 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 67 - Making do-do!Wed, 05 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 66 - Knock yourself out!Tue, 04 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 65 - I thought I was a workaholic...Mon, 03 Aug 2020 - 01min
- 64 - Voodoo doll!Fri, 31 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 63 - The lowest form of humour... ?Thu, 30 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 62 - Some remote location...Wed, 29 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 61 - Who named the fireplace?Tue, 28 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 60 - Stop singing Oasis!Mon, 27 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 59 - Pig lingo...Fri, 24 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 58 - Top dog!Thu, 23 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 57 - I'm an atheist, thank God!Wed, 22 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 56 - A godsend for the lobsters!Tue, 21 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 55 - A roll of tarmac...Mon, 20 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 54 - A dung beetle walks into a bar...Fri, 17 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 53 - The Mayfly party was a bit short-lived...Thu, 16 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 52 - Glitterballs!Wed, 15 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 51 - Communist jokes are not funny...Tue, 14 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 50 - A zombie romance...Mon, 13 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 49 - Hispanic attacksFri, 10 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 48 - How do you catch a squirrel?Thu, 09 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 47 - Just how many people DOES it take to change a light bulb?Wed, 08 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 46 - Mmm, around 90 quid.Tue, 07 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 45 - The perfect stocking filler!Mon, 06 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 44 - Stoned!Fri, 03 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 43 - A quilt or a duvet?Thu, 02 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 42 - I've just signed my will...Wed, 01 Jul 2020 - 01min
- 41 - A dwarf climbs down a prison wall...Tue, 30 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 40 - I was petrified!Mon, 29 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 39 - Wine, women and song!Fri, 26 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 38 - The man who created autocorrect....Thu, 25 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 37 - There are two kinds of people...Wed, 24 Jun 2020 - 00min
- 36 - Don't trust atoms!Tue, 23 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 35 - Keep the dream alive!Mon, 22 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 34 - Two flies argue on a toilet seat...Fri, 19 Jun 2020 - 00min
- 33 - I gatecrashed a trampoline party...Thu, 18 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 32 - An agnostic, dyslexic insomniac...Wed, 17 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 31 - I met my wife at the zoo...Tue, 16 Jun 2020 - 01min
- 30 - Charles Dickens walks into a bar...Mon, 15 Jun 2020 - 00min
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