40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

We go to the gym, watch what we eat, many of us use condoms for safer sex experiences, yet one area we don't concern ourselves with - so to speak is our butt health. Sure we know about prostate cancer and the such, but when was the last time you ask your Doctor about the health of your butt. Starting today, we make butt health a priority - and it has nothing to do with having sex with men. It actually has everything to do with a better understanding of how and what butt (anal) cancer is and how it starts, and what you can do to prevent it. Dr. Gary Bucher a leader in clinical care for all things anal and perianal precancerm talks candidly about what you should be doing to prevent cancer in your bum. In this episode we discuss: The high risk groups for anal cancer Practices you should implement to ensure you butt stays healthy The three leading screenings every man and woman should have to catch anal cancer early Bottoms up boys and let's talk about our butts!

Passion, passion, passion. I just want to find my passion. Yup! Don't we all. But for gay men, this desire is a consistent rumbling that often leaves us high and dry with no passion to make us fill fulfilled. Well, today we're going to debunk the pursuit of passion and ask you to instead get curious. Inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame and her talk on Curiosity, I decided to bring my gay guys version to this podcast for you chew on as you pursue your endless passions and see where it takes you.

We want that gym body, but as gay men, it can be intimidating to get to the gym or just a frickin drag. Yet, if we gave ourselves some love and confidence and got to the heart and soul of that dread, we can move mountains and have a loving relationship with fitness, health, and our bodies. Author and personal trainer Matt Boyles shares how you can build your own Fitter Confident YOUNIVERSE!

Today we are going to church to talk about being Christian, Gay, and a Drag Queen. And who better to discuss this topic then Jeza Belle, author of Jeza's Jesus Juice: A Drag Queens Christian Devotional. She proves you can be Christian, gay, and a Drag Queen. Hallelujah!

He may be an actor, broadway star, and producer, but that doesn't mean he is immune from the every day challenges of love, fame, and loss. In this candid interview, Kevin Spirtas shares insights of being a gay man in limelight and how he learned to unhide himself.

Can we just talk about gay generation gaps? Why is it that the Millenials and Gen Z's have no time for the generations that paved the way for them to be so out and proud? Well rather than pointing fingers and being bitchy, let's enjoy stories and insights from a Late Bloomer, Baby Boomer, Author Steve Milliken who shares his book by the same name today on the podcast.

We all make mistakes. For some of us those mistakes are harder than others to live with, especially when that mistake will follow us for life. From his own sexual abuse at a young age, to his porn addiction, to being arrested and having to now carry the weight of being a registered offender, Allen Scott is healing and growing into the man he is meant to be - a gay man with a past that isn't getting to hold him back. This is a powerful conversation about pornography, sexual abuse and may be disturbing to listen to but I'm inviting my listeners to have an open mind and realize forgiveness is the way.

Feeling a heard is one of the most critical mental health pills we can pop as humans. Yet, a growing number of people in society have no one to listen to them - especially gay men. Helping fill the void of loneliness and not being heard, Adam Lippin, founder of HearMe.app provides a solution for the world and especially gay men to have a listening ear and to be heard.

He's 40+. He's thriving. He's still tackling the monsters under his own bed. But, he's thrilled to be the gay man, artist, and creative he is, because he loves and accepts himself exactly for who he is. Gregory G. Allen, ward-winning author, screenwriter, filmmaker and actor candidly shares what he's learned about being a gay man since his coming out at 19 and moving straight to the big Apple. This is an inspiring candid conversation about all the monsters of our life and how to overcome them.

It's happening and you can't avoid it. You're going to age, and go gray, even as a gay man. Ok some of you may not go gray but we are all headed down the pathway of aging as gay man, but that doesn't have to be a death sentence. Here's my take on how to be Gay and Gray and embrace it with joy!

Feeling a sense of belonging as gay men is one of the things we struggle with the most. Using his book - Creating Belonging: A Practical Guide to Accelerate Belonging in Organizations and Communities - Justin Reinert shares how we as gay men can create a better sense of belonging for ourselves and others.

Breakups suck, and anyone who tells you otherwise is kidding themselves. But, they don't have to be the thing you cling onto forever. Whether the break up is one sided, mutual, you can move on with love and understanding if you follow these 10 steps.

We've all felt like we've had "senior moments!" Yet most are actually preventable. Helping guide as aging gay men to embrace our age and our real senior moments id Stan Goldberg - ally to the LGBTQ community who guides us on how to Prevent our Senior Moments as he shares his book by the same name - Preventing Senior Moments: How To Stay Alert Into Your 90's and Beyond.

Here we are. Almost the end of February, and what have you done this year to be happier and more productive as a gay man? Nothing? Or are you stuck in the hamster wheel of, "I'll get to it next week!" Take 20 minutes and listen to my thoughts on 10 Things You Can Do - Right Now - to get over your bullshit and be happier.

How do you do an open relationship? Should you do an open relationship? Why do gay men consider open relationships? These and many other questions are answered today with open relationship expert Dr. Joli Hamilton who uncomplicates the complicated.

From Mormon Missionary to Med Student to Porn Start Empire Owner, Legrand Wolf believes that the more we normalize the world of porn and adult entertainment and all if it's fantasies and fetishes, the more we help the planet be more accepting of the LGBTQ+ individuals. Listen to this captivating conversation and even if you are not a fan of porn, you're sure to gain wisdom from the insights that Legrand shares. It's time to stop shaming sex, sex workers, and the adult entertainment industry.

Instead of shaming sex and erotic pleasure, what if we as gay men embraced it as a conscious way of being present in our lives. Of, celebrating the truth of who we are at our core - sexual, erotic beings, who delight in the power of pleasure with joy. The world would be a different more loving, empathetic, and joyful place to live. Craig Cullinane, facilitator with Body Electric School, shares the organizations 40 years of wisdom for bring conscious pleasure into our lives and the monumental benefits of becoming pleasure activists.

Being out and proud is one of the most freeing and liberating experiences a gay man can experience. But, what if you work in a heteronormative, uber masculine industry like construction? How out can you be? Well today's guest says, "As out as you choose to be!" Tommy Whitehead is a licensed contractor and runs his own construction company - as a gay man, gay dad, and husband - and he's doing just fine in this masculine dominated industry. Listen to how he does it.

As gay men, we get in our own way. Yes, all the time. Yes! And, then we wonder why it is so messy, messy, messy. In his new, social media personalty MJ Harris, guides us as gay men to GET THE F*CK OUT YOUR OWN WAY: A Guide to Letting Go of the Sh*t that’s Holding You Back. Hope you enjoy the value bombs he drops today.

Maintaining our health as gay men is a matrix. From erectile dysfunction, to weight loss, cardio health, and everything in between, it can be a complex journey to optimal health. Yet, what can happen when we engage beyond the normally prescribed medical protocols and guidance to lean into our optimal health? Sean Fitzgerald, a leading Hormone and Wellness Specialist, joins us today to talk about the matrix of alternative medicines for living our best physical health.

It's the new year. And in this new year what would happen if you made integrity, and not just integirty, but you committed to living a life of radical integrity, "What might be different?" Author, soul coach, and body-centered therapist River Faire shares how his life of radical integrity has changed his life for the better and how you can do the same too.

This is not a New Year's Resolution podcast. It is a come to Jesus podcast with you and yourself. But first, Happy New Year. Now that we have that out of the way, what are you willing to do this coming year, for you, to make you better, happier, more successful, more content? It all starts with you and here's some tools to get you started for 2024!

Just because you are gay and over 40 doesn't mean your sex life or your erections are dead. However, understanding your nocturnal erections, can lead to better sexual health and greater pleasure in the bedroom...at any age. CEO and Founder of Firm Tech, Dr. Elliot Justin, joins us today to talk a revolutionary product - cock ring - that is enhancing your health and sexual pleasure for many years to come...no pun intended.

You're a guy over 40 and Mr. Man still is elusive. You've tried online dating, hooking-up, going to the bars, and putting yourself out there and you still are single and about ready to give up on being ready to mingle. Don't give up. Get matched. Leading LGBTQ Matchmkaker Tammy Shaklee gives great advice on how to find the caliber of man you seek that is your equal when you collaborate with a professional Matchmaker. Let the love games begin.

Here it is guys...the holiday season. No better time to lose our minds and think we have to do everything. But what if we didn't. What if we did what we wanted to do, instead of what everyone else expects from us this holiday season? It might just be manageable. Here's my holiday sanity thoughts for you. Happy Holiday Season!

Have you ever found yourself wishing you could make yourself a priority instead of making everyone else the focus of your life. Or maybe you just can't find the way to give yourself unconditional love. Today's guest, Warren Augustin, has found the pathway to both these things so that he could transform his life and let go of sacrificing himself and feeling hopeless. Learn his 4-Step Process find himself and giving himself the love he deserves.

You come in your gay life and being a parent is dream. Or maybe you have kids from a previous heterosexual relationship and then your gay life brings a whole new dimension to the situation. Regardless, parenting is a joy and work but what you might not be prepared for is the maturing that you have to go through when the next becomes empty. My dear friend Dr. Elliott Kronenfeld joins me today for a candid conversation about doing empty nesting from the inside out and outside in.

Imagine growing up in poverty and the only thing you really had in common with your Dad was that you were drinking buddies! Now imagine you stepped beyond that chaotic past, the repression of it all, and found a group of people - the queer community - who gave you the power to accept yourself. That's where you released the resentment, discovered gratitude and humility. Tate Barkley, shares his story and his new book Sunday Dinners, Moonshine, and Men.

Gay men hide many secrets. It's what we've been trained to do...hide, hide, hide. Yet, this practice becomes harmful the more we do it. It's time to stop the hiding and have a candid conversation about Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse. In his novel, "Nothing Can Tear Us Apart - Shattered," Wyatt confronts head on this epidemic that is prevalent in the LGBTQ+ community and rarely talked about...until today.

As gay men we never grow up. Really? So what is wrong with that and wanting to live our youth as long as we can. And, what's wrong with growing older and wiser. In this candid conversation with one my listeners, Kenny Bramlett-Martin, we explore the joy of dipping back into our youth and learning to embrace and enjoy ourselves at any age as gay men.

He spent most his life living based on a past that held him hostage. From being an Evangelical migrant to uncovering hist truth as a gay man, Victor Diaz shares is moving story of breaking free from religious bondage, and how be began to embrace self-love, to find peace and joy being his true self after 40+ years on the planet.

It's national coming out day. A time for remembrance, celebration, and allowing each and every person to come out of the closet their own way and on their on time. Let's reflect, support, and celebrate each other today.

You're a guy over 40 and suddenly a younger gay guy calls you "Daddy!" Wait, "What?" Do you take offense, embrace it, or find a path somewhere in between? To answer that question and to navigate the world of being in the Daddy Thirst Trap, fellow gay life coach Kevin Kasir joins to bring his millennial generational perspective to my baby boomer generational perspective as a Daddy bear and see where this takes us.

As gay men we grow up being told not to be seen, to heard, and to be understood. Taking a page, or actually a few pages from those experiences, Author and Coach Ed Wilson beautifully illustrates some of life's most poignant and challenging thoughts as a gay man in his new beautifully illustrated book "A Gay Man!" The story unfolds from birth to our elder years, inviting us to embrace the beauty of who we are - Gay Men - no fears, no excuses, no apologies. This candid conversation explore many of those moments and more.

From an early age he knew he was different, and that never stopped him from being who he is as a gay man. He continues to let his gay light come out of the closet while also staying very true to how he lives his life on his terms as a gay man in everything from his work to his relationship with his man. He never gave up hope. Dr. Roger Leslie shares a candid side of doing life on your terms as a gay guy over 40.

It's time to drop the shame around what shames us and let our KINKS fly, even if that means you want to be who you are in the boardroom. English Leather Master Matthew Bennett shares how you can be who you are in all aspects of life and not let your Kinks and Fetishes hold you back from being a powerful gay man, in and out of the bedroom.

From an HIV diagnosis, to surviving narcissistic relationships, Grant Miller has found the best path through obstacles and boulders of life is simply through and around them. Sharing his insights of living his gay life to the fullest, Grant shares truths that will help you see you are not alone and you can thrive, even in the worst of times. Plus, he talks about his debut, gay science fiction book, Life-Line: Origins.

If you've ever felt betrayed,or traumatized in your journey as a gay man, this episode is for you. Jason (Jay) Galvez, a Betrayal Trauma Practitioner and Intrapersonal Relationship Coach guides us through powerful insights for releasing the trauma of betrayal and finding ways to be at peace.

Imagine losing yourself and finding yourself. But what you lost came and found you in the most unique way. Kendall and Corey Stulce share a unique story of Kendall finding himself and his family of origin, and how adoption and rediscovering his roots impacted his life as a gay man.

What can we learn from those that have passed on? Whether it be a pet, a family member, or even a spouses former partner, if we tune in to the essence of those who are no longer with us, we might just learn something about living life now. Author Rob Gutro shares his unique gift of hearing the messages from beyond in today's podcast.

It hits. The big 4-0, and then something even worse happens and no one can quite believe how that happened to you, and when it happened to you on your 40th birthday. (You'll have to listen to the podcast and read the book to discover what). From that moment on you realize, you are on your own, that pole dancing and rock climbing aren't for you, and that you don't need the love of another to love yourself. Wiser words were never said than by today's guest, author Jonathan Lee. Explore his new book, 40 Single Gay, and the lessons he's learned that will make you realize...you're not alone.

Finding yourself, reaching deep into the essence of who you are as a gay man, is a lifelong journey. Yet, with the right tools and guidance, your journey can be enhanced, and discoveries of clarity and consciousness can be achieved, sooner rather than later. Rob Grover and Gary Logan, founders of The Journeymen Collective share how they as a couple have found a new path to living life to its fullest while guiding others in their quest using guided magic mushroom and other psilocybin experiences to open the doorways to a whole new way of being in the world.

You reach a point in life where you realize that you gotta be how you want to be, and do what ya gotta do. For over 30 years Bob Bolyard, a.k.a. as Amber LeMay has been providing entertainment, support, and raising money, not just for the LGBTQ+ community but in the world at large, and nothing is going to stop him/her. Join us for a fun conversation about letting yourself be yourself in the world, even as a gay guy over 40.

If you are tired of not living your dreams as a gay man, maybe you aren't activating them on a regular basis. Producer, songwriter, Founder of The Gray Rainbow Foundation, and soon to be bar owner, Michael Crawford shares his journey to living his best life as a gay man following his passion, purpose, and dreams.

Nothing says guilt, shame, and anxiety than being a gay man who had to hide who you are for years - regardless of how many years you've hid your truth. And, it doesn't matter what that truth is - lack of confidence, fear of coming out, trusting you can get that promotion, or even wanting to be in a monogamous relationship. Our socialized DNA can play havoc in our gay/bi/trans lives as men. Today Dr. Nick Santo - Psychotherapist - and I share our journeys to overcoming guilt, shame, anxiety, and depression and provide you with tips for doing the same.

If you find yourself often hiding yourself, then now's the time to stop doing that. Writer, screenwriter, film producer Bill Robertson shares his journey as a gay man, and how he learned the value of never stopping being yourself. He also shares about his new book, Uncle Bill's Animal Tales: Life Lessons For Adults.

From an early age he knew he was different, and that never stopped him from being who he is as a gay man. He continues to let his gay light come out of the closet while also staying very true to how he lives his life on his terms as a gay man in everything from his work to his relationship with his man. He never gave up hope. Dr. Roger Leslie shares a candid side of doing life on your terms as a gay guy over 40.

Many gay men, navigate the inevitable question of "How do I show up at work, and as a leader, while still being true to myself as a gay man?" The answer, "Your way, on your terms!" Jim Fielding, author of ALL PRIDE, NO EGO: A Queer Executive’s Journey to Living and Leading Authentically, shares his dynamic career journey that has spanned senior leadership roles at top global brands including Disney, DreamWorks, and Twentieth Century Fox. He recounts his journey from conservative Midwestern roots and a lovingly imperfect family to higher education, travel, advocacy, and ultimately owning his truth -- seeing the world through a distinctly different lens.

Moving right along in PRIDE Month, we take the letter "D" in PRIDE and explore the Dignity, Dedication, and Daring it takes today and every day to stay the course as gay men in a straight man's world. Hold the course gents. We've got this as long as we are willing to stay the course and show up in the world daring all the naysayers to say we don't belong.

We continue the PRIDE Celebration focusing on the Letter "I" in pride by exploring how to illuminate, inspire, and ignite ourselves into the world to live fully as gay men - no fears, no excuses, and no apologies. Happy pride! Make sure you show your pride by illuminating your brilliance, inspiring others to do the same, and igniting powerful change in the world.

Continuing our PRIDE Month Celebration, we take the Letter "R" in pride and unravel the significance of being resilient, remarkable, and reconnecting the the heart and soul of who we are as gay men. Happy Pride gents!

It's pride month and all this month we are waving our flags and celebrating you - gay men and the PRIDE it takes to be a gay man in our society. Today we kick off the month by look at the Letter "P" in PRIDE and the Purpose, Passion, and Path coming out and being gay has set us on to be a beautiful light and force in the world. Happy Pride gentlemen.

So many gay men struggle to find their passion, purpose, and to be happy. But, why? It's actually quite simple. They do nothing. They try a little, don't get the quick fix, and then give up. Harker Jones has never given up, but that's not the only reason he has constantly lived in his passion. Today he reveals the other stuff he has done to stay in his creative passions, even as a gay guy over 40.

Our gay culture has labels for everything - Twink, Side, Daddy, Top, Otter and even Bears - Oh My. Yet, we often allow these labels to hold us back from believing we don't fit in, and even worse that we shouldn't love ourselves - just as we are. This candid conversation with Jon Fischer (Coach Cub) explores the Bear Culture and how we can be more accepting of ourselves and others in our community - regardless of the age or labels.

If the polarization in America, and across the globe has taught us anything, it is empathy and understanding goes along way. Yet, we don't seem to practice this very well in our gay culture. It's time guys to give each other a break and quit being so judgemental. Accept each other as we are and move forward. Here's some lessons of acceptance, empathy, and compassion.

The battle of the bulge. It confronts you everytime you sit down to eat, sneak that snack, look in the mirror - if you even look in the mirror, and all you can think is "What's the point?" The point is YOU. You are worthing of being your best self in a way that aligns with you - if you Dare. Joining me today is Jarrod Bruce Lee, founder and CEO of The Daring Academy (for gay men) - helping gay men 35+ overcome body-shame, and build incredible, fit and strong bodies - no matter their age, genes or experience. Guys, this is truly worth a listen if you are ready to take those small but important steps towards better health as a gay guy over 40.

Instead of embracing our deeper selves as gay men, we often allow our "rejectionist mentality" to show up and turn that dimmer switch down on our life. But what would happen if you put on your drag face and became fierce to willfully live out loud as a gay man over 40. Guiding us with a open-hearted conversation about being vulnerable and allowing your shame and rejection die so that you can step into you - whether through 1:1 work or group retreats. Are you ready to dive into to your deepest self? Let's go there.

If you are tired of shoving your sexual curiosity into the closet, then today's podcast is for you. No more need for shame around being a sexualy, erotic, intimate being. Those are all elements of who we are as human beings and those beautiful characteristics show up for all of us in different ways. Guiding us to step out of our boxes of sex, intimacy and the erotic, Certified Sex and Intimacy Coach Court Vox invites all parts of our sexual selves to the table for a delicious buffet of being sexual human beings, regardless of age, race, gender, or sexual orientation.

If you don't bank on yourself, nobody else will. That's just a life truth. We put so much effort getting others to love, trust, like, and support us, but if you ignore the beautiful bank account of you you are destined to fail and be miserable. Let's course correct that starting today. BANK ON YOU!

Sex, queer, and Christian. For some people those three just don't go together. However, if we are made in the image of God, does that mean...??? Unraveling this interesting construct of Christianity, Sexuality, and Sex, is Jon Carl Lewis, founder of Sex and The Queer Christian community. In this candid conversation we discuss this interesting triad and how as humans we simply need to allow ourselves to be our sexy, sexual, God made selves.

For most gay guys, especially once you hit your 40's, you're looking to date and hopefully mate. Yet, it can be so exhausting and discouraging unless you learn to date with dignity and not from a place of drudgery. Here's some tips for getting there and loving yourself along the way.

One of the hardest things to do as a gay guy over 40 is to accept that you are a gay guy over 40. Then add the battle of the bulge, the changing "what you can eat without putting on the pounds," and suddenly life SUCKS! Here' to guide us through some Over 40 Fitness hacks, is fellow podcaster Brad Williams, host of the Over 40 Fitness Hacks Podcast

Imagine that you have waiting all these years to finally be yourself. Over 50+ years to truthful. Finally the day comes and you feel alive and finally on your way. But wait, the universe had another road for you to tow. But does that stop you? Maybe, but as today's guest shares, avid listener John MacDonald, you're never too old to go for being your most authentic self, regardless of what roadblocks get thrown your way.

Making your way through life as a gay man can be challenging. Then finding the right support whether that be for your mental, physical, or spiritual health can be even more challenging. Realizing this was a common issue for so many gay men, Peter DeWitt, founded Gay Wellness - a one-stop hub for finding therapists, coaches, yoga, masseurs, and much, much, more, all geared towards gay men and their unique needs. Today Peter shares his story of helping you get your gay wellness on.

Imagine, activating your life force by being 100% comfortable in your erotic self. Genuinely connecting your heart and your genitals in a way that makes you feel aligned, and alive in a way that is a work of love. Helping us embrace our sexual energy is Craig Cullinane, embodiment coach and former Director of the Body Electric School. Craig invites us on a journey to have a healthy relationship with pleasure without guilt and shame that so many gay men struggle with as they find their erotic soul.

He looks normal, acts normal, and just wants to be loved like any other gay guy. But, he has a disability and as soon as he shares that with a guy he's interested in dating, the pull a Houdini and disappear. Why? Because they feel he's damaged goods. Today we explore the trials and tribulations of dating with one of my listeners Stephen Fratello, who shares the wild and wacky world of dating in the gay community when you have a disability.

There are many things that can get in the way of gay men finding their man. Not knowing where to look, settling for hook-ups, and confidence to name a few. But these two things are the most common reasons that gay men can't find the right love with the right guy. But you're going to have to listen to learn what they are.

It's really easy to get bitchy with each other in our gay male community. Whether it is on the apps, in relationships, or when we are trying to come out. But what would happen if we worked on the big "E" and I'm not talking about erections. Instead, imagine using EMPATHY to better understand each other as gay men. Empathy Activist Rob Volpe, and author of the book Tell Me More About That: Solving the Empathy Crisis One Conversation at a Time, shares insights on how to be more empathetic and still be your unique and powerful gay male self in a hetero male world.

Great sex. Fun Sex. Sex on your terms, your way. Why is that so hard for so many gay guys to achieve? Because of shame, shame, shame about sex and asking for what you want, not only in sex, but in life. We're breaking the shame game today and inviting you to let your sexual freak flag fly, not matter what your sexual desires might be.

Debt. Most Americans, and many, many, many gay men have it. Why? Because we want to live a fabulous life and then we end up fabulously in debt. No fun at all. I know. Been there done that a couple of times. So how do you manage all this and do it with fabulous gay style? Call on the Debt Free Guys - David and John - hosts of the Queer Money Podcast. So let's talk money guys and see what we can do to get you on track and having a powerful relationship with money.

I want more. I want to be better. I need something different in my life. Ok, cool. But do you get so obsessed about that as a gay man that you never get where you are going, or get what you are trying to achieve? Well then this podcast can guide get more, better, different with some simple tricks you can implement today.

Whether it is better sexual health - rock hard erections, stamina, or screwing like a porn star - most gay men want great sex but do they do what they need to do for better sexual health. The answer is "NO!" Here to guide towards better habits and practices, is Dr. Judson Brandeis, Top Urologist in the SF Bay Area, and ally to the LGBTQ community, with ways to improve your health, sex life and even the length and girth of your penis.

New Years is just two days away and while we could do, "Tips for making the most of your New Year," instead let's declutter our lives so we can have a great start for making the most of our new year. Here's a no bullcrap way of getting the junk out of your life so you can get focused on what is really important in 2023.

Instead of getting caught up in your gay life that doesn't please or serve you, go have a stroke. Actually don't. I speak from experience in this podcast about how to stroke other things in life to bring you happiness, rather than dealing with a stroke. Just make sure what you are stroking pays off, and I'm not talking about a money shot!

Your partner has cancer, then recovers. Then you have cancer, and recover. Then your partner and pets both pass on. All of this while lovely COVID is reeking havoc on the planet. How do you thrive through this much turmoil? You trust the process and see the beauty in the challenges. Avid listener and beautiful gay man with a soulful heart, Jason Arnold, vulnerably shares his journey of loss and grief and how he is navigating is 40 Plus gay life when most of us would have just said FUCK IT!

If I make them happy, then I will be liked. Or even better, if I do this for them then they will do something nice for me. Sound familiar? It's call being a pleaser and as gay men, we have tried to please everyone else, hiding our true self, and then when we come out, it doesn't end, until you confront the pleaser within, and fix that madness. Today we explore who to take your pleaser saboteur and put him in the right place to make you please yourself while finding the right way to please others - in a healthy way.

Authenticity is one of those words that can be cringe or cult worthy. For most gay men, it is something that we all struggle with as we battle the demon of "that's not what you're supposed to be." Let's end that battle and look at authenticity through the lens of how you define it, and only how you define it. Joining me on the podcast today is Coach Maddox - the authenticity activist and host of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast to give you straight up insights on how to be more authentically you.

Dating. It's either fun or the bane of your existence. Whatever happened to the good old days of waving a magic wand and meeting Prince Charming. LMAO. Yeah, keep dreaming men. It's time to do the work and make those relationships happen. What better way to celebrate the 200th episode of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk than to have a candid conversation about Cupid's Arrow with Michael Kay, Head of Global Communications at OKCupid, where love and dating are their hearts desire. Take a listen as we explore what really can make your dating life lead you to the man of your dreams. Make sure you listen until the end where Michael offers up an exclusive offer for listeners for 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk.

Stop whining and start celebrating your milestones of life - age, career advancements, make-ups and breakups, losing weight, gaining weight. They are all milestones that give us the goods to move our lives forward if we use those milestones to kick ourselves in the ass for good instead of moping around like a whiny old man. Here's the goods on turning those milestones into opportunities.

Sex, sex, sex. That's all gay men care about. Not exactly true but even if it is, sex and sexual pleasure can get the best and worst of us as we age...or does it? Intimacy expert, Susan Bratton joins me today for a very candid, raw, sexual chat about everything sexual and how to take care of your cock, balls, and masculine energy around sex. Jump on boys, this is one you won't soon forget.

Aging. Wondering what do I do and where will my life lead me? It's happening to all of us. One of the biggest questions is "When the time comes, where do I find a community that is welcoming to me as an aging, retired gay man, without the fear of having to hide back in the closet?" Loren Ostrow, the founder and developer of Out Palm Springs shares how he and his organization is changing retirement living for the LGBTQ community. This insightful conversation might surprise you of the things you aren't thinking about as you march towards those golden years.

You have this burning desire to do your own thing, start your own business, be your own boss. Great. Awesome. Then the challenges arise and instead of walking away from a job, you just built yourself a job that you can't get away from. Stefaan DeVreese candidly shares the in's and out's of being a gay man in mid-life who is building a business, and the resilience it takes to be a titan in your own world. Listen for great tips and advice of how to start that side hustle or full blown business as a gay man.

Living life is messy. Messy, messy, messy. Now add to it being a gay man, and Lord help us, it can get real messy. Helping us undo some of that mess when we think it is impossible is Author Britt East, sharing wisdom from his book "A Gay Man's Guide To Life." Listen up and you just might learn something that you need to.

We guys over 40, should have so much figured out in life, like how not to get our "buttons pushed" by other people. Ok, that is probably not 100% true, but we should have a way to combat that, right? No matter where you are in your station in life, people are going to get under your skin, and sometimes it will harbor there for weeks and months on end. I know, and I am sharing first-hand how to combat this "button pushing" syndrome in real time, with real issues, so that you can find real peace of mind.

It's too late to come out. It's too late to find a relationship. It's too late to find my passion. BULLSHIT! You can come out of the closet of your life, regardless of what that closet is, even when you think it is impossible. These five tips will help you see the thought - "too late" - in a whole new way.

Seems non-monogamy is more and more common as gay men try to find themselves in their relationships in a way that works for them as individuals and as a couple, or even a thruple. So how do you make it all work when Monogamy isn't the way. Polyamory expert Kitty Chambliss joins us today to give you great insights on how to thrive in your relationship when the typical just isn't going to cut it.

Imagine going from being an active member of one of the most well known evangelical churches in Houston - Lakewood Church - yes that one...to becoming a drug addict, dealer, being homeless and serving in the armed forces. Talk about polar opposites, but it is his reality, his story, and his journey to be himself as a gay man. De'Vannon Hubert shares his journey of life beyond struggles and near catastrophe.

What does it mean to be masculine? Who defines it? What does it matter? These are all the big questions we're asking on 40 Plus: Gay Man, Gay Talk Podcast today with fellow Life Coach Travis Stock. He brings his own unique insights into the world of masculinity into play to make you go, "Hmmm? What does masculinity really mean?"

There's a lot of shaming going on around how people do their most intimate relationship(s). You get shame for wanting monogamy. Shade gets thrown if you are in an open or polyamorous relationship. Shame, shame, shame for how you choose to live your life. Well it's nobody's business and here's some tips on dumping the shame.

First it was HIV and AIDS, now Monkeypox. And the LGBTQ+ community, and more specifically gay men are being called out as the source of these issues. Really? Are we truly going to do this again? Not if we take the right stands and the right health approaches to addressing these issues. Jill Baker, FNP-C helps gay men find the right focus for their health in a nurturing approach to HIV, AIDS, and Monkeypox by taking a holistic approach for thriving with these diseases.

Now we're being blamed for Monkeypox, and of course, there's threats that Gay Marriage could be overruled just like Roe vs. Wade. So how do you stay positive, and vigilant as a gay man? Here's some ideas to safe and sane.

It WAS my birthday, and it WAS great. That's why today, I want to share 10 things with you gay-man-to-gay-man, that I feel are some of the greatest lessons I've learned from my 59 years on this planet. They've changed my life, made me a better man, and continue to kick my ass when I need it most.

Loneliness is an epidemic that is growing by the day. Gay or straight it is causing huge amounts of mental health issues. For gay men, the isolation and lack of connection often compounds our isolation. You just want to cry, "Hear Me!" That's exactly what Adam Lippin, founder of HearMe.App has created. A way for anyone, anywhere to connect to someone who is trained just to listen to you. A way to connect. A way to be heard and seen. Today we explore his company, his reasons for bringing this app into a disconnected world.

One of the things many gay men struggle with the most is finding their passion and purpose. Landing in that career that truly lights them up. But what if it was as easy as getting clear, taking the first step, being unafraid of change, and then taking the leap? It can be that simple, even though it won't be easy. Scott Gatz, founder of Q.Digital, the media company behind GayCities, Queerty and LGBTQ Nation, takes us on his journey of navigating his career, fatherhood, and the never ending pursuit of passion and purpose.

Whether it's showing up on a gay vacation, hitting the bars on the weekend, or walking into work, it can be petrifying to show up in your world as a gay man. So how do you not let being petrified hold you back from living your best gay life? Take a listen and find the three step process I use to full be myself in the world.

I'm going to be an actor. No wait, I'm going to be a Broadway star. Nope, I'm going to be a financial planner. Ay yes, I'm going to run a talent agency and be a coach. Sounds like this guy doesn't know what he's doing...but he does. Michael Novin has leaned into his life fully, brining each experience to life and building upon by constantly saying, "If you can, you must!" Today we explore the can and must of navigating the ever changing landscapes of shifting careers and being a gay man over 40!