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Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families
The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.
- 1689 - #1103 - The Simple Things Matter
Are you feeling a little overwhelmed with parenting and in your home-work-life balance? You're not alone! For 'I'll Do Better Tomorrow' we discuss the importance of structure—the foundation of building competence—and how it provides the framework and tools for parents and children alike to feel effective.
In this episode:
“A compliment is not an insult to the other” Kylie is training for a triathlonParental overwhelm
Structure 3 basic psychological needs Homeschool Being a good friend Bedtime routinesRelated Links:
We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing Supporting Autistic Children Course (NDIS approved)Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Thu, 17 Oct 2024 - 1688 - #1102 - From the Doctor's Desk: The Bottle Shop of Mum & Dad
Justin and Kylie dive into the latest research to help parents raise healthier, happier kids.
With schoolies, summer BBQs, and end-of-year celebrations just around the corner, we look at data around the effects of alcohol on teens and the risks associated with parental supply. Plus, why digital switching leaves you feeling less satisfied and refreshed, and a simple "thank you" can lower parental stress and increase relationship satisfaction.
In this episode:
Think giving your teen alcohol is safe? Read this - Sarah Perillo| | Herald SunParental supply of alcohol
Risks associated with teen drinking Myth - The Mediterranean Effect Fast-forward to boredom: How switching behavior on digital media makes people more bored | Journal of Experimental Psychology Digital SwitchingRelated Links:
Should We be Giving our Teens Alcohol? Six Science-Backed Benefits of Gratitude #2: How Gratitude Can Make Your Family HappierSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Wed, 16 Oct 2024 - 1687 - #1101 - Fussy to Healthy Eaters With Karina Savage
Karina Savage, Paediatric Dietician and founder of Nourishing Kids, chats with Justin about some of the most common challenges parents have with feeding kids, and what parents can do to help create healthy eaters in a stress-free way.
In this episode:
Nourish With Karina The Easy Feed Podcast with Karina Savage (Paediatric Dietician) Fussy eating habits, sensory issuesHealthy eating behaviours
Lack of food standards / regulations in Australia
Safe foods
Recognising small wins Family meal times'Feeding ecosystem' - getting the fundamentals right
Understanding the why behind fussy eating
Gut healthRelated Links:
How do I Get My Child to Eat Healthy Food Without the Power Struggles? #1008 - Family Dinner Deep Dive Eat Right Without a Fight [E-Book] Food Rules by Michael PollardSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Tue, 15 Oct 2024 - 1686 - #1100 - Happy Go Lucky Teen (and Husband)
Today we have an anonymous question from a mum who's got a happy go lucky teenager, happy to coast through life, as well as a husband who is coasting through the chores with his earbuds in.
Does she need to change either of these behaviours?
In this episode:
Giving kids autonomy Force creates resistance Perspective Upside-Downside conversation Connection Boundaries, expectations, finding compromiseExplore underlying dynamics
Related Links:
#754 Why Doing Their Best Might Not Be the Best The Biggest Relationship Mistakes We All MakeSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Mon, 14 Oct 2024 - 1685 - #1099 - Stress, Sweat, and Scores: The Exam Pressure Epidemic
The harmful message being pushed onto senior students—that individual academic success is the ultimate priority in their final years of school—sends Mrs. Happy Families on an angry rant!
You can help guide your senior student towards a healthy balance between academic achievement and the joy, connection, and recreation that are essential for their well-being.
In this episode:
Preparing for final year of school Scarcity mentality & competition Coping with stress/anxiety Finding balance Heavy focus on results & unhealthy elevation of universityDrop-out rates in first year university
Multiple pathways after school
The importance of self-control
3 E’s conversation with senior students: Explore, Explain, Empower
What’s important to you educationally? What do you need and how can we support you?Related links:
#1095 - Exams: Less Stress More Success Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self LoathingSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Sun, 13 Oct 2024 - 1684 - #1098 - Check In, Don't Check Out
"I’ll Do Better Tomorrow"—looking back on the week that has been: what we are doing right, what we are doing wrong, and how we can be better parents.
In this episode:
Family meetings Check in with each member of the family 3 questions: What’s going well in your life at the moment? What’s not? What can we do better? The power of emotional availability One-on-one time with kids The need to feel seen Family holidaysRelated links:
#1045 – The Art & Science of Family MeetingsSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Thu, 10 Oct 2024 - 1683 - #1097 - October Book Club: Fiction Ain't That Bad
In today's Book Club episode, Justin and Kyle share what they have been reading this month!
Kylie's books:
The Measure by Nikki Erlick The Rescue by Nicholas Sparks Troubled by Rob Henderson The Winter Dress by Lauren ChaterJustin's books:
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend by Sanford Greenberg The Expat by Hansen Shi The Weirdest People in the World: How the West Became Psychologically Peculiar and Particularly Prosperous by Joseph HenrichSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Wed, 09 Oct 2024 - 1682 - #1096 - Age-Based Consent Conversations
Most people recognise that consent is essential for a healthy sexual experience, yet many still find it challenging to fully understand its meaning. In this conversation, we'll explore the complexities and nuances of consent and how we can address these crucial topics with our children, step by step, as they grow.
In this episode:
Consent Can't Wait | consent.gov.au Body safety, boundaries, respect, "no means no"Tickling, rough-housing, bath time, hugs and kisses
When consent is taken to the extreme
Verbal and non-verbal communication Developing identity and voice Critical thinking Respectful engagement with others Compliance and obedience Teenagers and romantic relationships Withdrawing consent Alcohol, drugs, maturity, impairments Teaching ethics, empathy, rights, bodily autonomyRelated links:
#217 The Age of Consent with Rebecca Sparrow #226 More Than Consent Education with Melinda Tankard Reist Sex, Consent & Staying Safe [Webinar] #1071 - Body Boundaries With Jayneen SandersSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Tue, 08 Oct 2024 - 1681 - #1095 - Exams: Less Stress More Success
Term 4 is crunch time, with the stress of end-of-year (or final!) exams, report cards, deadlines, and more, leaving students feeling under pressure!
Today's conversation includes our top tips to help parents reduce exam stress and guide kids to exam success.
In this episode:
Hope The marshmallow test Self-control Resilience and wellbeing The role of failure Taking the pressure off Strategies and tips for parents The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Finding balance Time management Teaching mindfulness and self-careRelated links:
#140 Life After Year 12 How do I get my Daughter to Drop Social Media and Study for Exams? #334 Rock Solid Study with Katie Jnes 3 A+ Tips for Getting your Kids (and yourself) Through ExamsSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Mon, 07 Oct 2024 - 1680 - #1094 - Dude Ranch or Spa Retreat?
Is it okay to go away with your friends and leave your partner at home managing everything and everyone? How do you make it work, and should you even try?
A successful trip without your partner hinges on a strong, trusting relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to support one another are crucial. With the right approach, solo trips can enrich both your individual experiences and your relationship, creating a healthy balance for both partners.
In this episode, we dive into the key considerations you need to be mindful of when planning time away without your significant other. From potential challenges to the points of friction that can arise, we explore how to navigate these moments with care.
In this episode:
Affordability, logistics What's your intention behind the trip? Supportive partners Differences between girl and boy getaways Emotional intensity - deep conversations, bonding Choosing companions who elevate you Strategic incompetence Resentment and communication challenges Contingency plans for partner at homeRelated links:
Taking a Mum Break: "I could never leave the kids and go away for a week!" We Need to Talk About Parent WellbeingSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Sun, 06 Oct 2024 - 1679 - #1093 - Early Talent Promotion [R]
Are we doing more harm than good by pushing our children to excel early? The pursuit of excellence can feel rewarding for parents and children alike, but scientific evidence highlights the conflict between short-term gains and long-term success.
Today, we say a sad farewell to Craig Bruce as he concludes his remarkable tenure as Executive Producer of this podcast, and a heartfelt thank you from the entire Happy Families team for the extraordinary contributions Craig has made to Happy Families!
(R) This episode originally aired 15/7/24.
In this episode:
Pushing kids to succeed Acceleration programs for young children Effects of Early Talent Promotion on Junior and Senior Performance: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis Harmonious passion VS Obsessive passion Intrinsic motivation Gifted and talented children Happiness and wellbeing levels Finding healthy balance and having varied experiences No wasted knowledge in lifeRelated links:
How Much Sport is Too Much for our Kids? Going to High-Achieving Schools is Potentially Bad for Your KidsSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Thu, 03 Oct 2024 - 1678 - #1092 - When the 3 E's Don't Work [R]
Dr Justin’s 3 E’s (explore, explain, and empower) are the pillars of autonomy-supportive parenting. But there are times when they just do not work (we are all only flawed humans after all!). Today's tips will help you calmly and confidently navigate through the heat of these challenging moments.
(R) This episode originally aired 3/6/24.
In this episode:
The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Self-determination theory Basic psychological needs of every human Relatedness, competence, autonomy Need-supportive parenting High emotions = low intelligence Being ok with our children's discomfort Patience and practice Fast is slow, and slow is fast Neurodiversity Turn towards your child in challenging timesRelated links:
The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson The Secret to Regulating Emotions How to Fix a Problem Child Little People, Big Feelings [The Free Webinar]Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Wed, 02 Oct 2024 - 1677 - #1091 - The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt [R]
Justin shares four big ideas based on Jonathan Haidt's new book in the hope that it generates some constructive conversations with your kids at home:
- The key to building a resilient child, Getting comfy with our children experiencing a healthy level of discomfort in life, The impact of social media on the brain development of teens, and Looking at problematic use of or addiction to social media.
(R) This episode originally aired 01/5/24.
In this episode:
Healthy/unhealthy childhood stressors Supportive parenting vs "tough love" or over-protective parenting Resilience Anxiety The cycle of incompetence Anti-fragility Impact of social media on teenage brain development Social media addiction / problematic useLinks:
After Babel | Jon Haidt | Substack The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt Honestly with Bari Weiss: Smartphones Rewired Childhood. Here's How to Fix ItLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Tue, 01 Oct 2024 - 1676 - #1090 - Putting Mum on Your Resume [R]
Are you wanting to return to work but struggling to know what on Earth to write on your resume after years out of the workforce? Listen in for some ideas that will inspire and encourage mothers to confidently claim the skills, strengths, and unique value you possess and can offer the world!
(R) This episode originally aired 29/4/24.
In this episode:
Cost-of-living increase Returning to work Motherhood Being a mum is valid and valuable work, so I put it on my CV - ABC Everyday Writing a resume Parental responsibilities, skills, unique value Stay-at-home-mums (SAHM) Kylie's resume – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Mon, 30 Sep 2024 - 1675 - #1089 - Am I The Only One Not Interested in Intimacy? [R]
If you are struggling to "keep the spark alive" with your loved one, you're not alone. Exhaustion, screen addiction, lack of time, resentment - all these issues (and more!) can lead to zero interest in nurturing intimacy. Today we share some surprising secrets to sustaining a strong sexual connection!
(R) This episode originally aired 2/05/24.
In this episode:
Reasons for having zero interest in intimacy Connection and friendship Prioritising sex Slowing things down Female pleasure Book recommendationsLinks:
Nurturing Intimacy: Secrets to Sustaining Strong Sexual Connection – Happy Families Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski | The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life She Comes First by Ian Kerner | The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a WomanLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Sun, 29 Sep 2024 - 1674 - #1088 - Are You Over Sleepovers? [R]
Is it just me...or are sleepovers a really bad idea?
(R) This episode originally aired 28/3/24.
In this episode:
Pros and cons of sleepovers Social development Memories Safety concerns Peer pressure/exclusion Screens Prearming your kids #926 Who Tops the List of Child Sexual Abusers? – Happy Families Being on the Outer – Happy Families Are Sleepovers OK? – Happy FamiliesEmail your questions and comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Thu, 26 Sep 2024 - 1673 - #1087 - The Secret to Regulating Emotions [R]
The meltdown out of nowhere, an angry and aggressive child, the emotionally flooded teen - kids of all ages have BIG emotions, and experience emotional dysregulation!
Discover the tools and skills that will help you respond to your child with compassion and kindness - and build emotional awareness and regulation for you both.
(R) This episode originally aired 17/10/23.
Topics in this episode:
No Matter What Emotion regulation The magic of Nature Moving forward, finding solutions Responding with compassion and gentleness Emotion Coaching- a Happy Families article Little People, Big Feelings - a Happy Families webinar The Secret to Regulating Emotions - a Happy Families articleFind us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families
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Wed, 25 Sep 2024 - 1672 - #1086 - The 5 Marriage I Don'ts [R]
Marriage is not just about the "happily ever after", but rather the real-world benefits of a life of meaning, joy, purpose, and growth. Keep your relationship strong by avoiding 5 things that harm marriage the most.
[R] This episode originally aired on 7/3/24.
In this episode:
Damaging mindsets Commitment, trust, connection Intention vs action Divorce contagion Provocative statistics Get Married by Brad Wilcox Positive outcomes for children Household work, mental loadEmail your questions and comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Tue, 24 Sep 2024 - 1671 - #1085 - The Sordid World of Honey Traps With Julie Inman Grant [R]
*Content warning: parental discretion advised*
Australia's e-Safety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant describes the fast-paced and aggressive tactics used by sexual extortionists targeting children and young adults. She gives clear directives to parents on how to prevent online harm, and what to do if your child experiences sexual extortion.
[R] This episode originally aired on 27/2/24.
In this episode:
Online sexual extortionists targeting kids Screen rules, limits, safety measures, and supervision Honey trap tactics Fast-paced escalation from charm to harm What to do if this happens to your child Keeping your child safe online How to report abuse or content to eSafety | eSafety Commissioner Parents | eSafety Commissioner Sextortion | ACCCE The Teenage Brain – Happy Families Screens in Bedrooms? – Happy FamiliesEmail your questions and comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Mon, 23 Sep 2024 - 1670 - #1084 - A Real World Honey Trap [R]
*Content warning: parental discretion advised*
In a brave and vulnerable conversation, Jake and his mother Hayley talk about their 'honey trap' experience when Jake was 15, sharing just how quickly and easily this can happen to a child or adolescent.
(R) This episode originally aired 26/2/24.
In this episode:
Honey traps and online safety Real-life experience of a 15-year-old boy Advice from Hayley and Jake "No Matter What"Related links:
Capping: How the Bad Guys Get to Your Kids Online#837 Must-Know Online Safety With Madonna King
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Sun, 22 Sep 2024 - 1669 - #1083 - Go Get Your Self Care On
When your child wants to quit an activity, especially one they’re good at, it can be challenging to know the right thing to do! Should you encourage them to push through, knowing the long-term benefits, or let them move on to something new?
And then there's self-care—how do we even fit it into our hectic, overwhelming lives? It's so easy to let it fall by the wayside, especially for busy parents. But self-care can be more achievable than you think, with little things we can do on a daily basis that provide a moment to breathe and rejuvenate—without breaking the bank or needing more hours in the day.
In this episode:
When an adult child moves back home - how does it work? Change brings anxietyThe Secret to Regulating Emotions (train analogy)
What should you do when a child wants to quit an activity?
Overwhelm and burn-outPippin Girl | Happy, healthy, confident girls
Self-care
Related links:
Self Care Strategies That Really Work
Overwhelm: Self-care Strategies for When Everything is Too Much [Webinar]#637 Lightening the Load of Parental Burnout
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Thu, 19 Sep 2024 - 1668 - #1082 - The Sunday (or Anyday) Roast
A lot of families love to "roast" or tease one another as a means of good-natured camaraderie. When done well (in the right circumstances, the right tone, and for the right reasons), this kind of humour can increase connection. However, when done wrong, it can be disastrous, particularly when children are involved, as they may not understand nuance and sarcasm and tend to internalise this style of humour.
Justin and Kylie discuss the role of humour within families, the importance of empathy, and an alternative to roasting and sarcasm that can lead to happier, healthier family relationships.
In this episode:
ChatGPT “roast my Insta feed”Humour - the good, the bad, the ugly
The roast of Tom Brady
Sarcasm, trash-talking, 'burning', baiting
Verbal sparring, quick thinking, witty banter 3 benefits of "roasting" within a family Building resilience, connection, confidence 3 challenges and concerns of using this humour Building a culture of disrespect The art of laughing at your own mistakes EmpathyRelated links:
#1067 - A Brief History of Dad Jokes
#1077 - From the Doctor's Desk: Funny Families & Relocation Repercussions
Help your kids navigate the tricky online world where humour and hurt can get blurred
.
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Wed, 18 Sep 2024 - 1667 - #1081 - An Adventurous Life
Would you let your 9-year-old ride the NY subway alone or your 15-year-old son travel abroad with friends? For doing just that, one mother received the label of "world's worst mum," and another was reported to social services!
In today's risk-averse society, our children lack adventure. We want resilient children, and yet we try to control them in the name of safety, preventing them from being too adventurous. The problem is that if our kids don't do hard things, they don't get to be resilient.
Justin and Kylie share why playing it safe may just be the biggest risk of all!
Kirstie Allsopp reported to social services for allowing son,15, to travel abroad | The Guardian Free range kids What if...?Resilience malaise
Developmentally appropriate independence Finding purpose and direction through adventure and risk-taking The Least Interesting Generation | Brett McKay | The Art of Manliness Resilience.
Related links:
The Case for Risky Play in an Age of Overprotection 9 Ways to a Resilient Child [Book] #906 Raising Free Range Kids This Summer.
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Tue, 17 Sep 2024 - 1666 - #1080 - Q&A: Lazy Husband & Sleep Struggles
An anonymous listener shares their frustration and exhaustion with a husband who feels more like an additional child than a partner, offering little support with household and family responsibilities. Justin unpacks "weaponised incompetence" and the unfairness and resentment that build when one parent is left carrying the load and provides guidance on how to address the issue in a way that avoids blame, accusations, and an all-out conflict.
Michelle, from Victoria, has a daughter experiencing mental illness, with chronic insomnia, anxiety, and friendship issues—all leading to a feeling of exhaustion and desperation in the home. Justin shares some ideas with Michelle that will help her struggling daughter, emphasising the importance of finding what ignites delight in your child—and giving them more of it!
In this episode:
Weaponised incompetence When one parent feels overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful Be honest (without accusations or blame) Setting clear expectations and solutions NDIS Couples meeting Getting on the same page Enabling laziness Autism, ADHD, chronic insomnia, anxiety Importance of sleep and bedtime routine Extra-curricular activities Validating emotions 3 basic psychological needs: autonomy, competence, connection.
Related links:
#452 Weaponised Incompetence Parenting On The Same Page [Webinar] We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing A Grown Up’s Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) [Download] Riding the Waves: Tools for Taming Anxiety [course for kids and teens] #310 Bedtime is the Right Time #990 Mental Health Challenges with AnneHollonds.
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Mon, 16 Sep 2024 - 1665 - #1079 - Age-Based Social Media Bans Gathering Momentum
In Australia, children below a certain age will be banned from social media as part of a national plan to counter its negative effects on youth. We discuss the government's commitments, the challenges this new legislation may face, and what parents can do now to protect their kids in a screen-saturated world.
In this episode:
'National Social Media Age Limit' | A Current Affair Why 13+ is the current legal age Collecting personal data Politics and obstacles facing this legislation The impact of social media on kids Using screens well: with intentionality, self-regulation, limits Play-based childhood VS screen-based childhood Holding tech companies accountable What parents can do while waiting for legislation to pass Kids need smart parents not smartphones Building community Unplug Childhood - sign the pledge & join the village today! The Screen Smart Series: 'Unplug Childhood' & 'Tweens, Teens & Screens' (included in membership).
Related links:
#980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt Tech Giants are Anti-Kids.
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Sun, 15 Sep 2024 - 1664 - #1078 - Choose Life Not Dishes
Justin shares his disappointment in unwittingly missing out on the opportunity to share meaningful, heartfelt words with the people he loves after choosing to clean the kitchen during an extended family get-together rather than participating in a family activity.
We all have a need to belong. You can help your child to have a sense of who they are and how they belong by creating family traditions and sharing family stories with them. Kylie shares how she included son-in-law Jared in one of their traditions by writing him into their family 'birth" story.
In this episode:
Missed opportunity Getting priorities right "If tomorrow never comes..." Ronan Keating Why vulnerability is hard! Using technology to check in with people we love Coulson daughter #2 has returned from Europe The need to belong Family traditions and stories Adoption Knowing family roots- -> increased resilience Teaching kids about positive relationships.
Related links:
How well do you score in Prof. Duke's 'Do You Know' scale?
Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life #589 Mental Fitness With Gus Worland.
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Fri, 13 Sep 2024 - 1663 - #1077 - From the Doctor's Desk: Funny Families & Relocation Repercussions
A recent study has shown that parents who use humour have better relationships with their kids. But does all humour work in the same way? Are Dad jokes ok? Can sarcasm or roasting your child play a a positive role in parenting? And what are the consequences for our children when humour goes wrong?
In a large-scale Denmark study, data from 1.1 million people has shown associations between moving house in childhood and increased risk of depression later in life. We look at ways that parents can support their child during big transitions and soften the impact of the uprooting experience of moving house.
In this episode:
Humour in parenting: Does it have a role? | PLOS One Defining humour The consequences when humour goes wrong Funny = reciprocal/consensual The effects of house moves during early childhood on child mental health at age 9 years | Springer Link Bluey 'The Sign' Resilience Parental guilt regarding moving Association versus causation Smoothing transitions for your childRelated links:
#732 This is How You Raise Resilient Kids Parenting Made Easy(er) Moving? How to Help your Child Settle Into A New School.
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 11 Sep 2024 - 1662 - #1076 - 13's a Lucky Number For Foster Care Week
Have you ever wondered if becoming a foster carer is something you could do?
Our guest today, Belinda Baxter, has 13 children (6 biological, 7 foster) and joins us for an important conversation about foster care: what it looks like for her family, the challenges and the rewards, and what you can do to get the process started.
This week, communities across Australia come together to celebrate Foster Care Week, an annual event dedicated to recognising the invaluable contributions of foster and kinship carers.
In this episode:
Foster Care Week Types of foster care (full-time, kinship, respite, emergency) Family dynamics Boundaries and foundations Independent living skills The process of becoming a carer Challenges and difficulties of caring for other people's childrenRelated links:
Fostering Connections (Victoria) DCJ Foster, relative and kinship care (NSW) Queensland Foster and Kinship Care Become a foster carer (SA) Become a foster carer (WA) Foster and Kinship Carers Association (NT) Foster care - Department for Education, Children and Young People (TAS).
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)
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Tue, 10 Sep 2024 - 1661 - #1075 - Are Emotions Too Important?
This episode originally appeared as episode #1013.
When we make feelings “King”, our children can become stuck in their emotion, unable to regulate or move forward. Justin shares the right way to respond to feelings, helping them understand, process, and then move through their emotional state.
In this episode:
Revolutionary change in how parents respond to emotions Impact of TikTok parenting influencers Validating emotions Feeling seen, heard, valued Ways to regulate and tame emotions Parent or therapist? #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 1 #827 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 2 #976 Abigail Shrier's Bad Therapy How to help your child process their emotion and move on from it.
Related links:
The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents, by Lisa Damour The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [Webinar] Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit].
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Mon, 09 Sep 2024 - 1660 - #1074 - R U OK: Tips For Parents
Dr Hannah Brown, Campaign Manager for Education and Young People for RU OK?, is working to decrease the stigma of mental health and to provide Australians with the skills and confidence to check in with one another EVERY day, and not just RU OK? day.
Hannah shares advice for parents who may be dealing with a child who is not ok—how to have this conversation with them and support them through their struggles.
.
In this episode:
What to do when someone struggling says "I'm fine!" It's not our job to fix, but to notice, listen, and support Parent-to-child conversations Child-to-child conversations ALEC - Ask, Listen, Encourage Action, Check-in Teaching kids to be kind and respectful to their friends/classmates Building skills for strong and trusting relationships If you are not OK, please reach out for help:Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800
Parent Line (different number for each state)
Lifeline 13 11 14
13YARN (for First Nations Australians) 13 92 76
Related links:
#589 Mental Fitness With Gus Worland R U OK Day – Talking About It and What Happens When They Say ‘No’.
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Sun, 08 Sep 2024 - 1659 - #1073 - A Father's Day Bromance
'I'll Do Better Tomorrow' is a review of the week that was.
With more work-related travel than ever before, Justin still managed to make it home for Father's Day—his best one yet with a peak "life moment" involving son-in-law Jared! Listen in to hear how their relationship has moved from reluctant acceptance to that of deep friendship because of a conscious decision to love unconditionally.
Plus, some sobering facts from Lifeline's Annual Gala Ball: Over a million calls are made to Lifeline every single year. 3000 phone calls per day, which means that somebody is in crisis every 28 seconds! Thank you to all of Lifeline's volunteers, sponsors, workforce, and other contributors. We recognise the importance of this service and are so very grateful for the wonderful work you do.
In this episode:
Lifeline's Annual Gala Ball Father's Day Low expectations, no pressure, time with family Being a grandparent on Father's Day Reaping what you sow Unconditional love Lifeline: Help is available. Speak with someone today! Call 13 11 14Related links:
Fatherhood Redefined [Webinar] Use coupon code "Spring15" to receive $15 discount! Sale ends tonight. Present Dads, Healthy Kids #890 How You Know You’re LovedDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 05 Sep 2024 - 1658 - #1072 - Does Parenting Have a PR Problem?
Journalist Angela Mollard writes that "[a]n age of confession and vulnerability has seen parenting rebranded as a challenging, joyless, expensive, and freedom-sapping decision. They forgot the awesome bits."
On the podcast today, Angela chats with Justing about finding the joy in parenting, the importance of perspective and gratitude, and why we must speak of the great parts of parenthood—because although parenting is hard, it's absolutely worth it!
In this episode:
The vulnerabilities VS the joys of parenting Parenting needs a PR job? Blame the mummy bloggers | Angela Mollard | The Daily Telegraph Finding fulfilment in parenting Generational differences Gratitude Look for the 'glimmers' every day #148 Flecks of Gold Perspective Being present What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson (use coupon code SPRING15 for a sneaky discount! Ends 6/5/24)Related links:
Parenting Made Easy(er) Unplugging Parenthood (and being present!)Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 04 Sep 2024 - 1657 - #1071 - Body Boundaries With Jayneen Sanders
It's National Child Protection Week!
Today's conversation is with author, publisher, mother, and educator Janeen Sanders, a strong public advocate for children’s safety, education, and empowerment.
Jayneen joins Dr Justin to speak on the importance of teaching consent and body safety to children of all ages and how parents can do this in age-appropriate ways. This is an essential skill for every parent: to keep our children safe from sexual abuse and sexual predators.
In this episode:
Statistics The younger a child, the more vulnerable and at-risk they are Online grooming #926 Who Tops the List of Child Sexual Abusers? Using correct anatomical names Teaching body boundary and consent Grandparents and hugging Creating a safety network for your child.
Jayneen Sander's resources:
Body Safety Red Flags by Jayneen Sanders My Body! What I Say Goes! by Jayneen Sanders Body Safety and Consent VALUE BUNDLEby Jayneen Sanders My Body Safety Rules - FREE POSTER Head to the Educate 2 Empower website for more books, lesson plans, posters, and other resources for parents and teachers..
Related links:
Sex, Consent, & Staying Safe [Webinar] #226 More Than Consent Education with Melinda Tankard ReistDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 03 Sep 2024 - 1656 - #1070 - Q&A: Teen School Refusal & Motivation Styles
Robert asks, What can you do when your teenager won’t go to school? Throw in the complexity of neurodivergence, and this becomes a tough situation!
Plus, a question from Sian about managing the inconsistency between a reward/token system at school and what is going on at home. Can two very different structures coexist and work for your child?
In this episode:
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Emotion-Based School Avoidance
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Persistent Desire for Autonomy
Conflict around gaming
Connection vs control Explore, explain, empower Emotional valence (the extent to which an emotion is pleasant or unpleasant, ranging from negative to positive) Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation Building structure in the homeRelated links:
School Refusal Screens And Our Boys Punishment, Reward, and Other Disciplinary Mistakes #720 What are the Psychological Needs of Our Kids?Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 02 Sep 2024 - 1655 - #1069 - Should You Tidy Your Teen's Room?
Is cleaning your teenage son's room every day reinforcing outdated gender roles and enabling a future of entitlement? Or is it an act of love, showing care and understanding for a busy, tired teenager?
No matter where you stand, Justin and Kylie delve into what truly matters in a thoughtful discussion about kids, chores, and their role in contributing to the household.
In this episode:
Mom tidies teen's room each morning as a kind act of service, prompting a fascinating debate | Upworthy Social media - the good, the bad, the ugly Gratitude Chores, schedules, jobs Gendered expectations? Division of labour, working together Explore, explain, empowerRelated links:
I am Not the Maid – How to get 5 Star Service from the Kids at Home My 13-Year-Old Doesn’t Pick up a Single Thing Developmental Milestones [Introduction]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 01 Sep 2024 - 1654 - #1068 - A Screen Breakthrough
Got a tech-savvy teen who dodges screen-time limits or constantly craves social media validation? Justin and Kylie share how their weekly family meetings provide time and space for ongoing conversations about screen use, leading to personal accountability and self-evaluation, with increased buy-in from the whole family!
In this episode:
'Word of the year' review Why Grandparents matter Developmental paediatricians Family meetings Screen use Sneaky teens - getting around screen-time limits Toxic need for validation on social media Force creates resistance Motivation contiuum PhubbingRelated Links:
#845 Phones, Phubbing & Relationship Satisfaction Register for The Screen Smart Series - 'Unplug Childhood' and 'Tweens, Teens & Screens' #1049 Q&A – The Benefits of Plants & Grandparents Learn more about the motivation continuum in our webinar Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do InsteadDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 29 Aug 2024 - 1653 - #1067 - A Brief History of Dad Jokes
With Father's Day just around the corner, Justin & Kylie go head to head in a battle for gold in the UFC (Ultimate Father Comedy) before stepping back in time to discover the origins of the comedy equivalent of comfort food: the "Dad Joke"!
Humour can be a quick and easy way to build connection with your kids; but don't just rely on a good dad joke to get the fun flowing! Learn what else you can do to help your kids feel seen, heard, and valued this Father's Day and beyond.
In this episode:
A history of dad jokes Dad jokes: intentional, predictable, cheesy, wholesome Building connection To a child, love is spelled T.I.M.E Finding opportunities to have fun The Neurological Dance of Parental Bonding: Unraveling The Oxytocin Connection | KoolkKatsRelated Links:
Me & My Dad Activity Book [Free Download] #489 Complementary Roles of Mums and Dads With Jenet EricksonDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 28 Aug 2024 - 1652 - #1065 - Being an ADHD Mum With Jane McFadden
The ADHD experience is increasingly common and most people with a diagnosis (or seeking one), or who are parenting ADHD children are struggling in some way.
Jane McFadden, host of the Australian podcast "ADHD Mums," shares her lived experience of receiving a shock adult ADHD diagnosis following a period of burnout, overwhelm, and mental health struggles, and the unique challenges she faces as a neurodivergent mum to neurodivergent children.
In this episode:
Adult ADHD diagnosis Neurodivergent parents Assessment criteria for adult ADHD Masking and camouflaging Setting up systems, scaffolding, and accommodation Mental health and comorbidities of ADHD Labels Benefits of a diagnosis Sensory issuesRelated Links:
Help For the ADHD Parent [Article] Join the Waitlist: Parenting ADHD [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child [Article]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 27 Aug 2024 - 1651 - #1064 - Q&A: Light Sleepers & Light Fingers
You know the feeling - it's the middle of the night and a small human wakes you from your slumber and takes up residence in your bed. Caroline wants to know if it's normal for a nine year old to continue wanting to sleep in her bed, and what (if anything), she should do about it.
Kate has discovered that her five year old has a tendency for being light fingered and stealing things from her purse. Should she be worried about the stealing and sneaky behaviour?
In this episode:
Anxiety at night Co-sleeping Evolving ideas around childhood Building connection, wellbeing, belonging Emotional regulation Sleep matters! Thumb-sucking Low impulse control and executive function Theory of mind What to do if your child is stealing Explore, explain, empower Teaching valuesRelated Links:
Developmental Milestones [Part 4: Middle Childhood] My Kids Don't Eat Or Sleep #846 An Honest ConversationDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 26 Aug 2024 - 1650 - #1063 - Hurting Kids on Purpose
Evidence suggests that META and other big tech companies are purposefully hurting kids through their lack of content moderation and their choice of harmful persuasive design features.
Justin and Kylie discuss how you can protect your children from online exploitation and manipulation by giving them a play-based childhood. Join the village, sign the pledge to delay smartphones and social media, and “Unplug Childhood” with us!
In this episode:
The Surgeon General Has New Social Media Guidelines. Minnesota Already Made Some of Them Into Law | After Babel Substack | Ravi Dyer META whistleblower reports Social media algorithms Prioritising engagement over content quality Kids exposed to unwanted contact, sexual advances REPORT on addictive design of online services and consumer protection in the EU single market | European Parliament What is persuasive design? Unplug Childhood - sign the pledgeRelated Links:
#1002 Kylie Can’t Get Enough Snapchat #1060 – No Hang-Ups With School Phone Bans (Heads Up Alliance interview) Unplugging Parenthood The Screen Smart Series: Unplug Childhood + Tweens, Teens & ScreensDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 25 Aug 2024 - 1649 - #1062 - Who Let the Dog Out?
Family life is a constant challenge of working out where your priorities are at any moment: Justin and Kylie must choose between a quick weekend getaway and tackling their to-do list! Plus, the flow-on effect of reducing screen time usage, removing the family TV and cancelling Netflix has been revolutionary - but how did the Coulsons get all the kids on board?
In this episode:
A weekend of chores and to-do lists!
Creating margin Being present Super Saturday Family meetings Accountability and intentionality ScreensRelated Links:
The Screens Issue #1045 – The Art & Science of Family MeetingsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 22 Aug 2024 - 1648 - #1061 - This Week in Parenting: Raygun, Lost High-Fives & Panic Attacks
This Week in Parenting:
- Perhaps the most polarising Paris Olympic story was that of Aussie Olympic breakdancer Rachel Gunn. International meme fodder, or pure gold for sparking meaningful conversations with our kids, encouraging critical thinking, and creating empathy? A beautiful example of understanding and compassion in the workplace and from the world at large occurred after ABC presenter Nate Byrne experienced a panic attack live on air. Something is wrong when a top Crossing Supervisor is banned from high-fiving kids as they walk to school. A fascinating story on reversing autism highlights the need for good-quality research and responsible reporting.
There's a mental health crisis among our young people: why are we getting it so wrong, and what needs to be done?
In this episode:
"Raygun" Olympic breakdancing controversy Turning media hype into constructive conversation, critical thinking, and empathy Hidden signs of panic attacks Presenter has panic attack live on the ABC Support structures for mental health Open communication and understanding in the workplace Brutal nature of social media Beloved lollipop man banned from high-fiving primary students after parent complaint | News.com.au Responsible reporting ‘Autism can be reversed’, scientists claim | The Telegraph Safeguarding mental health of Australian youth Major contributors to the rise in mental health challenges‘Danger zone’ for mental health, says global study | The Australian
Related Links:
#990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne HollondsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 21 Aug 2024 - 1647 - #1060 - No Hang-Ups With School Phone Bans
Today, I had an insightful interview with Dany Elachi, founder of The Heads Up Alliance, examining the No Phones policy that every school in the country should be implementing—the benefits, the evidence, and the challenges. Dany shares how community is the solution to an issue that so many parents feel they are facing alone—how to say "not yet" to a smartphone and/or social media.
In this episode:
Forming alliances with other families Keeping teens off social media Creating a consistent phone-free environment in Australian schools Empirical vs anecdotal evidence Behavioural challenges in schools Mental health, bullying, academic outcomes Catholic and Independent Schools Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Dr Michael Carr-Gregg: “A no brainer from the university of bleeding obvious” THE HEADS UP ALLIANCE | Instagram, Facebook LinktreeRelated Links:
Unplug Childhood #980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt Pixel Perfect [Webinar]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 20 Aug 2024 - 1646 - #1059 - Q&A: Reality Check & Conforming at Kindy
If your family was invited to participate in a reality TV show would it be an easy "yes!", a "no way!", or would you deliberate? Alan, from the USA, asks Dr Justin for his opinion.
Kirsty questions if she should be worried about her 5 year old son, with teachers concerned he is not conforming at preschool, and wants to know how she can help him. Is preschool a time and place where conformity should be encouraged, or is it stifling individuality?
In this episode:
Child on-screen exploitation Potential life-long ramifications Pros and cons of participating Questions to ask the producer Conformity is a dirty word! Arguments for and against conformity Importance of context Motivation Teachers usually know what they're talking about! Gain child's perspective Explore solutions with childRelevant Links:
What to do when kids won’t listen [Webinar]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 19 Aug 2024 - 1645 - #1058 - NAPLAN Nation: Failing our Kids
The 2024 NAPLAN results have shown that one in three students are below educational standards, with almost 400,000 students requiring catch up tutoring.
The results also show that around a quarter of the over 1 million students tested are said to be 'developing' - which just means they're failing to pass the minimum standards required.
What's gone wrong with education in Australia? Natasha Bita is the education editor of The Australian, and has won numerous awards for her work, including a Walkley Award (Australia’s most prestigious journalism award).
In this episode:
2024 NAPLAN results Epic fail: NAPLAN reveals one in three students below standard | Natasha Beta View a video version of Natasha's story on YouTube Screens in schools Schools manipulating NAPLAN data Positives of NAPLAN Impact of teacher shortages and wellbeing on student learning Going back to basics (phones etc)Read more from Natasha on The Australian's website.
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Sun, 18 Aug 2024 - 1644 - #1057 - Getting the Guideposts Right
Parenting and family life is a continuous striving to get the balance right. Family meetings can help with this struggle, providing guideposts so that everyone is on the same page. Inviting kids to be part of this process keeps everyone accountable and moving in the same direction.
In this episode:
Parenting teenagers Reducing screen use Family meetings Accountability Getting on the same page Super Saturday The Adventure Challenge: Activity book, scratch off family activitiesRelevant Links:
Same Page Parenting #1045 – The Art & Science of Family MeetingsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 15 Aug 2024 - 1643 - #1055 - Why the Kids Don't Listen
The reality is that our children can hear. They are listening. They just won't do as they are asked! We share five things you can do to make your kids WANT to listen, building stronger relationships with them along the way.
In this episode:
Free hearing test Carefactor = zero 5 reasons kids aren't listening Egocentric Attentional capacity Silence and refusal Immediate compliance Connection vs correction Be involved and patient Accountability Fun, calm, and kind leads to a better relationshipRelevant Links:
How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [PDF download]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 13 Aug 2024 - 1642 - #1054 Q&A: 24/7 Tech & School vs Home Behaviour
Justin is answering two listener questions in this episode.
Christina from the United States is wondering how she can get a less than cooperative teenager to put away the screens and get to bed, even though she has already compromised on them staying up later than she would like.
Kate is wondering why her five year old's behaviour is so different between school and home. How can a 'model student' melt down over simple requests like being asked to take her plate to the kitchen after dinner?
In this episode:
Screen limits and teenagers Sleep #1003 When the 3 E’s Don’t Work Force creates resistance Jocelyn Brewer - The 3 M's of Digital Nutrition Differences in school and home environment Kids feel safe at home Masking at school Allow time to decompress after school #866 Creating MarginRelated Links:
Tweens, Teens & Screens [Webinar] Screens And Our Boys 5 Ways to Make Family Life More Fun Developmental Milestones [Part 4: Middle Childhood]Get your questions to Justin by hitting the record button on the Happy Families website.
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Mon, 12 Aug 2024 - 1641 - #1053 - Is Risky Play Worth the Risk?
Does "risky play" make you excited or very nervous? The research is clear regarding the many benefits to children who engage in risky play. With it becoming increasingly hard to find public spaces that allow for risky play, we share ideas and tips for how parents can encourage and support their children to engage in risky play at home.
In this episode:
Old-school playgrounds What is risky play? Healthy childhood development through outdoor risky play: Navigating the balance with injury prevention | Canadian Paediatric Society How to encourage risky play at home "You want your kids to be as safe as necessary, not as safe as possible” The importance of agency and autonomy in play Roald Dahl quote on kids and risks Physical development Emotional resilience Social skills and mental health Solving problems Risk assessmentRelevant Links:
Playing It Safe May Be The Biggest Risk Of All Resilience: Developing strength, calm and kindness in our kids [Webinar] #50 Risks and Rolling Down HillsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 11 Aug 2024 - 1640 - #1052 - Other People Matter
Saying goodbye to loved ones has been the cause for much reflection for Justin, including the acknowledgment that owning our own mortality allows us to invest more fully in life.
Kylie describes a recent family meeting, and how the buy in that comes when everybody takes accountability for the part they play in how a family feels and functions can be life-changing.
In this episode:
Losing loved ones Treasure every moment of life Terror Management Theory Don't count the days; allow the days to count! Family meetings Accountability How to get buy-in from the kids Exercise and routineRelevant Links:
How To Talk To Your Children About Death #1045 – The Art & Science of Family MeetingsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 08 Aug 2024 - 1639 - #1051 - From the Doctor's Desk: Peanut Allergies & ASD Touch Reactions
From the Doctor's Desk today we unpack three studies relevant to parents and families.
First, an intervention that could decrease the likelihood of developing a peanut allergy by 71% (N.B. we are not sharing medical advice!). The second study - another intervention involving a 2 week screen-free media reduction for participants, with fantastic results! And the third, a study looking at differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent responses to touch, and some helpful tips for parents of neurodivergent children when it comes to understanding and navigating these responses.
In this episode:
Peanut allergies The danger of becoming risk-adverse Screen Media Use and Mental Health of Children and Adolescents: A Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Clinical Trial | Media and Youth | JAMA Network Open A happier child in 2 weeks? Emotional dysregulation Parental responsibility with screens Follow-up to Adolescence after Early Peanut Introduction for Allergy Prevention | NEJM Evidence Why touch matters Sensory issues, autism Differences in neurodivergent vs neurotypical response to touch Consent Autonomic and hedonic response to affective touch in autism spectrum disorder - Capiotto - 2024 - Autism Research - Wiley Online LibraryRelevant Links:
Tech giants are ANTI-kids Unplug Childhood - join the village today #1016 – From The Doctor’s Desk: Touch Good, Anger BadDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 07 Aug 2024 - 1638 - #1050 - Adam Voigt: What's Really Going On In the Classroom
A conversation with Adam Voigt, Founder and CEO of Real Schools on the importance of student engagement, how parents can support and advocate for teachers, and why we need to make schools a diverse environment - where all children can come together to learn.
In this episode:
Teacher stress Additional needs Supporting teachers Schools and parents working together Student engagement The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt | Penguin Books Too much tech in the classroom? Mobile phone bans Does going to a selective school make you more likely to go to uni, get a job and be satisfied in life? | The Conversation Selective schools Importance of diversity Parental guiltDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 06 Aug 2024 - 1637 - #1049 Q&A - The Benefits of Plants & Grandparents
Amy from Melbourne has been trying to boost her families wellbeing, and while she's been doing all of the tried and traditional methods, she is wondering what the benefits of indoor plants are for her family.
Jenny from West Australia is seeking some advice around grandparents looking after her three year old, despite some of their parenting styles being quite different to hers.
Related links:
Check out our recent From the Doctor's Desk episode - #1036 Screen Use Bad, Green Space Good What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree [Article]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 05 Aug 2024 - 1636 - #1048 - Raising an Olympian
If you have a child with a natural talent or a burning desire to succeed in a sport or other activity, how do you cultivate a successful (perhaps even elite) level of performance and raise them to have perspective? Justin and Kylie offer four ideas to help your children be engaged in their athletic and competitive pursuits in healthy, balanced ways.
In this episode:
US Gymnast Alexandra Raismen - parent reaction Finding a healthy balance Professionalization of youth sports can lead to burnout | AAP Publications What is the purpose of sport? Physical, cognitive, social, emotional benefits Competence and mastery #1033 – Early Talent Promotion Motivation and losing perspective Unconditional loveRelated links:
How To Keep Kids Motivated To Play SportDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 04 Aug 2024 - 1635 - #1047 - Playing To Win (and Losing the Plot)
There are times when a parent's relationship with their child feels strained and difficult. Kylie shares what it can look like to cultivate these challenging relationships, giving hope to any parent deep in the trenches of raising hard kids.
More often than not, when we lose the plot as adults, it is because of unmet expectations. A games night in the Coulson household did NOT meet Justin's expectations, leading to one very grumpy dad!
In this episode:
I'll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise - Maurine ReynoldsAdamek 5 star reviews - thank you! Cultivating relationships No Matter What Hope for the parent who thinks they can't keep going Resilience Family games night turns sour Expectations vs reality Unmet needs Bedtime Even the parenting expert gets parenting wrong Be where your feet areDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 01 Aug 2024 - 1634 - #1046 - A Very Peachy Book Club
Book Club - the episode where Justin and Kylie forget about the parenting stuff and share what they have been reading. Today, a book review from a very special guest: their 10-year-old daughter Emilie.
In this episode:
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt | Penguin Books (4.5 stars) Unplug Childhood - Join the village! The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien | Abbeys (5 stars) James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl | Dymocks (4.7 stars)Related links:
#980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt The Screens Issue Unplugging ParenthoodDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 31 Jul 2024 - 1633 - #1045 - The Art & Science of Family Meetings
Building strong, lasting family relationships is a long-term process. When done well, regular family meetings can completely change how your family feels and functions now and in the future
Justin and Kylie share six practical tips for family meetings that will help your family relationships flourish, ensuring that everyone feels seen, heard, and valued along the way.
In this episode:
Could family meetings help you get on better with your kids? Yes – but they can also go horribly wrong | The Conversation James Clear, author of Atomic Habits 5 year quote Not a time to air grievances or critique others Risk of family meetings Creating a vision Benefits when meeting is done well Frustration tolerance Learning social skills and emotional regulation Getting on the same pageRelated links:
Family Goal SettingDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 30 Jul 2024 - 1632 - #1044 - Q&A: Tearaway Toddlers & Staying in School
Bec, from Sydney, has a 2-year-old who keeps running towards the road when out at parks, playgrounds, and shops. Running away is developmentally normal: little kids love to explore. But it's also very scary! There are four things parents can do to keep their "runner" safe when out and about.
Karen, from Brisbane, asks how to navigate the ongoing challenge of school refusal. Ongoing conversations with both child and school are important when school attendance is a challenge. Dr Justin shares some questions to ask, and four ideas to increase engagement, competence, and confidence for your struggling student.
In this episode:
Developmental Milestones [Part 2: Toddlers] Curious, exploring, developmentally appropriate Hunt, Gather, Parent by Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff | Dymocks Ongoing conversations on safety Solutions to keep child safe Pros and cons of giving kids mental health days Problematic school avoidance Working with the school Three basic psychological needs Attaching education to child's goals Alternatives to schoolRelated links:
What To Do When Kids Won't Listen How To Help When School Sucks [Webinar] School Refusal #875 Failed at School, Successful at Life: Ian SteelDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 29 Jul 2024 - 1631 - #1043 - Forcing Kids to Apologise
Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like?
In this episode:
Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie” Victim mentality People pleasing Ruptured relationships The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic Theory of Mind Why do children apologise under coercion? Feeling seen, heard, and valued Repairing relationships Why don't kids want to apologise? 4 components of a sincere apologyRelated links:
Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry' Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)
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Sun, 28 Jul 2024 - 1630 - #1042 - Work & Home School Life Balance
It has been 9 months of homeschooling for the Coulson crew, with plenty of ups and downs and many lessons learned. One of those lessons is that homeschool is not and cannot just be "school at home". When a child is struggling in a school setting, taking them out of that environment only to set up the same structures and lessons at home doesn't change the challenges that your child is experiencing!
In this episode:
Resilient Kids Conference - (recording available)
Help, hug, or space?
When school isn't working
Homeschooling is not school at home Letting go of expectations/perceptions Self-directed learning Autonomy Exercise - cycling, swimming Working from home Setting boundaries Steven Covey's "Big Rocks of Life" analogy The overwhelm of to-do listsRelated links:
Taking the Pressure Off School Refusal.
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 25 Jul 2024 - 1629 - #1041 - Screens Suck
Devices can calm our emotional children - but does a screen actually help them to emotionally regulate or is it just distracting them from their emotions in the heat of the moment? Are there long term consequences to letting screens "manage" a child's emotions?
We also talk about a controversial topic - using "screen-time" as a reward! There is an important connection between screen use and children's executive function and emotional regulation, and it's not good news!
In this episode:
Your words have power: @always.upper.elementary Toothpaste Words: The most important back to school lesson you can do Should we comment on someone's appearance? Cure for tantrums? Longitudinal associations between parental digital emotion regulation and children's self-regulatory skills Using devices as digital pacifiers Frustration tolerance Unplug Childhood: Join the village, sign the petition#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation
Tolerable discomfort
Resilience
Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use
Using screens as punishment or reward leads to higher screen use
Alfie Kohn, author of 'Punished by Rewards'
Positive/negative reinforcement The most important "app" for our childrenRelated links:
Unplugging Parenthood #137 Punishment & Rewards with Alfie KohnDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 24 Jul 2024 - 1628 - #1040 - Raising Good Humans With Beck Delahoy
Our goal as parents is to raise good humans, but sometimes we actually get in the way of doing that! Beck Delahoy shares three things parents can do to move away from centuries of unhelpful patterns to a better way of parenting.
In this episode:
Lessons Learned | Beck Delahoy | Substack John B. Watson - 1920's behaviourist What do we want to do as parents to raise good humans? teaching thoughts, values, feelings, acceptable behaviour History of parenting Long-term consequences of punishment/reward Calculation of Risks Blind Conformity Revolt Fostering acceptable behaviour Moral development Building emotional regulationRelated links:
The Secret to Regulating Emotions Punishment, Rewards, & Other Disciplinary Mistakes.
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 23 Jul 2024 - 1627 - #1039 - Q&A: Teacher Struggles & Home School Hacks
Two questions from listeners: Emma asks for advice on helping her 10 year old son who is struggling with being at school, withdrawing from friends, and feeling sad. And Kari, a homeschooling mum of 3 little boys, has requested an update on the Coulson's Homeschooling experience!
In this episode:
The 3 basic psychological needs Supporting children at school 'School Can't' Building frustration tolerance Attention amplifies discomfort Changing classroom or school Persistence and consistency Homeschooling update Euka Curriculum Autonomy-supportive structure Emotional regulation wins.
Related links:
The Secret to Regulating Emotions How to Help when School Sucks.
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 22 Jul 2024 - 1626 - #1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation
A conversation about what it means to be emotionally regulated or dysregulated, with five quick ideas for parents to help their children regulate well.
In this episode:
What are emotions? Maladaptive responses Etymology of 'emotion' French: to excite Latin: to move Emotional regulation: The ability to control your emotional state. Emotional dysregulation: When your emotions are stronger than your ability to act with autonomy. Amygdala triggers survival/fight/flight mode Spanish: Tengo hambre (I have hunger) Developmental realities Creating a safe and predictable environment Brené Brown on emotions #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers (Part 1) Homeschooling.
Related links:
The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library].
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 21 Jul 2024 - 1625 - #1037 - Creating Holiday Traditions
Family holidays and traditions are important! Sometimes though, they can feel out of reach - perhaps unaffordable or even impossible. The good news is that traditions don't have to be big, or cost any money, and you don't even need to leave home to create them!
In this episode:
Why traditions matter Avoid big holidays with little kids Stick to pools/beaches when they are young What the research says Family meals, meetings, or games One-on-one time with children Marking milestones Hamish Blake's epic birthday cake tradition!.
Related links:
Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life.
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Thu, 18 Jul 2024 - 1624 - #1036 - From the Doctor's Desk: Screen Use Bad, Green Space Good
Are our attention spans decreasing? Is it possible that the kids really are listening to you but just disagree with what you have to say? Do house plants impact mental health and wellbeing? How does parental screen use affect teen screen use, and why should we avoid using punishments and rewards when it comes to screens? We unpack four studies that will help make your family happier and give you practical tips you can use today!
In this episode:
Are attention spans decreasing? Short-form videos Examining the Influence of Short Videos on Attention Span and its Relationship with Academic Performance Speaking of Psychology: Why our attention spans are shrinking, with Gloria Mark, PhD Not listening, or just not agreeing? Disagreement Gets Mistaken for Bad Listening Green space and mental health benefits The nature gaze: Eye-tracking experiment reveals well-being benefits derived from directing visual attention towards elements of nature Indoor / house plants Physiological Benefits of Viewing Nature: A Systematic Review of Indoor Experiments Parent screen use VS teen screen use Impact of screens at the dinner table and in bedrooms Screen time, video gaming, social media, mobile phone use Using punishments and rewards around screens leads to lousy outcomes Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use.
Related links:
The Screens Issue 7 Ways to Really Listen so Your Child Shares More How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [eBook].
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 17 Jul 2024 - 1623 - #1035 - Adolescent Anxiety With Dr Jodie Lowinger
Dr Jodie Lowinger is recognised as one of the world’s leading anxiety, mindset, and resilience experts. Jodie was a guest speaker in the groundbreaking Breaking Point Digital Conference and today we share a snapshot from her session on 'Girls and Mental Health'.
In this episode:
Sydney Anxiety Clinic - Psychologists Author of The Mind Strength Method: Four steps to curb anxiety, conquer worry and build resilienceThe prevalence of anxiety among adolescent girls
Anxiety is part of our human condition
Gender and anxiety Multidimensional factors contributing to adolescent anxiety: Biological (hormones, genetic predisposition) Environmental (social, psychological, technology/social media, FOMO, life experiences) Parents as therapists? Emotional intelligence Empowering parents with skills and tools to build emotional literacy The need for consistent language Parents, educators, therapists, child - getting on the same page! The power of relationship Parents want to fix things Undermining a child's capacity to build resilience.
Related links:
Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing Riding the Waves [The Course] A Grown Up's Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) #168 Emotional Intelligence with Marc Brackett.
Brand new Happy Families membership is NOW OPEN and on sale for 3 days!
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Tue, 16 Jul 2024 - 1622 - #1034 - Q&A: Making Siblings BFF's & Emotional Expression
Every Tuesday Dr Justin answers listener questions about making your family happier! Today we have questions about sibling friendships/conflict, and helping children learn emotional regulation.
Question 1: What can parents do to make their children best friends, and how can sibling conflict/rivalry be eliminated?
Question 2: How can we control our 11 year old son's emotions so that he doesn't get bullied or teased due to his consistent crying at school when things don't go his way?
In this episode:
Conflict in every relationship is normal Rupture and repair Four main characteristics of sibling relationships How can we get our kids to like one another? The 3 Es of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) Gender differences in expression of emotions Externalised vs internalised emotions Emotion-focused coping vs problem-focused coping Maladaptive/adaptive strategies Making emotions 'King' Podcast with Lisa Damour Part 1 & Part 2 The Secret to Regulating Emotions.
Related links:
10 Steps to Reducing Sibling Conflict Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library] Teaching Kids Kindness [ Webinar].
Brand new Happy Families membership is NOW OPEN and on sale for 3 days!
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Mon, 15 Jul 2024 - 1621 - #1033 - Early Talent Promotion
Are we doing more harm than good by pushing our children to excel early? The pursuit of excellence can feel rewarding for parents and children alike, but scientific evidence highlights the conflict between short-term gains and long-term success.
Today, we say a sad farewell to Craig Bruce as he concludes his remarkable tenure as Executive Producer of this podcast, and a heartfelt thank you from the entire Happy Families team for the extraordinary contributions Craig has made to Happy Families!
In this episode:
Pushing kids to succeed Acceleration programs for young children Effects of Early Talent Promotion on Junior and Senior Performance: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis Harmonious passion VS Obsessive passion Intrinsic motivation Gifted and talented children Happiness and wellbeing levels Finding healthy balance and having varied experiences No wasted knowledge in life.
Related links:
How Much Sport is Too Much for our Kids? Going to High-Achieving Schools is Potentially Bad for Your Kids.
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Sun, 14 Jul 2024 - 1620 - #1032 - Stop and Smell the Flowers
It's normal and natural for young children to want to take their time exploring the world around them, and it's also normal for parents to want to get things done quickly! Could it be possible to do both? Can we slow down and be more productive at the same time?
There are practical and simple solutions that will help you to maintain the fun, build relationships, AND be productive—all while slowing life down for your child!
Rushing our children through tasks Competition Developmental and gender reality Mum guilt Emotional regulation Solutions Introducing routine & structure Transitions Wiggle room or wriggle room? Breathing techniques(R) This episode originally aired 27/6/23.
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Related links:
Developmental Milestones Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast #27: How to Implement a Routine Without Being Rigid.
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Thu, 11 Jul 2024 - 1619 - #1031 - 7 People of Highly Effective Villages
It takes a village to raise a family. Community-oriented relationships are so important for the well being of our children and for us as parents, but building them takes time, involvement, and effort. How can we create a village when we are time-poor parents, and where do we even start to find this supportive community?
Building a safe neighbourhood Teachers Friendships - in and out of school Community leaders, coaches Medical professionals Surrogate Aunts & Uncles Surrogate Grandparents(R) This episode originally aired 7/8/23.
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Wed, 10 Jul 2024 - 1618 - #1030 - Name It & Tame It
Justin and Kylie respond to a listener question about emotional volcanoes
Name it to tame it Emotional regulation High emotions – low intelligence Tunnel vision/rigid thinking Seen, heard & valued(R) This episode originally aired 15/8/23.
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Related links:
Emotion Coaching [The Webinar] The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotional Intelligence.
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Tue, 09 Jul 2024 - 1617 - #1029 - What's My Age Again?
It's a question parents ask time and time again: What is the right age for my kids to do [insert risk]?
Justin and Kylie look at a number of hot topics and discuss the appropriate/legal age for children to be allowed to do each of these.
Staying at home alone The laws in QLD Putting in place contingency plans Mobile phones, school devices, burner phones Kids need smart parents, not smart phones Smart parents give their kids dumb phones (Unplug Childhood) Boyfriends & girlfriends #816 Tween Relationships: How Young is Too Young? Sleepovers Walking to school or the shops alone Ear piercing(R) This episode originally aired 28/8/23.
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Related links:
Everyone Else Can Do It! Why Can’t I? Movies and Kids: When Is It Okay For Them To Watch That? Should our Young Children have Boyfriends or Girlfriends at School? When is it OK to Leave your Child Home Alone? Are Sleepovers OK?.
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Mon, 08 Jul 2024 - 1616 - #1028 - Getting on the Same Page
Is there tension and disagreement in your home when it comes to parenting? You are not alone! The most commonly asked question we receive is "How do you get on the same page in parenting?" We share three simple questions that can help to create alignment in your parenting-relationship, and make your family happier.
(R) This episode originally aired 5/9/23.
In this episode:
Weekly couple’s meeting Three questions to ask Creating the space Daily habits Getting your systems right Finances, goals, holidays Creating alignment Parenting on the Same Page – A Happy Families webinar.
Related links:
Same Page Parenting [Article] What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Purchase the Smells Like Teen Spirit Summit.
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Sun, 07 Jul 2024 - 1615 - #1027 - 6 Phrases You Should Say to Your Kids
When our children are experiencing challenges or behaving in a challenging way, there are things we can do and say that will help them get through these rough times and transform our relationship with them in the process. We would love to hear the phrases you say to your children - record a voice memo here or email your recording to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au.
(R) This episode originally aired 30/5/22.
In this episode:
The magic of an apology Correction and direction vs connection The power of 'yet' People matter, things don't You’ve gotta love the hills Unconditional love.
Related links:
Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing How to ‘Fix’ a Problem Child.
Purchase the webinar The Screaming Spiral or log in to your HF membership library to view
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Thu, 04 Jul 2024 - 1614 - #1026 - Growing Growing, Not Gone
It can be easy to forget who we were before becoming parents. But that’s part of the beauty of parenthood! Being a parent allows us to experience personal growth as we tap into new strengths and creativity. We get to make intentional choices about who we will become, and to change the trajectory of our lives. Why then do we often think that we're boring now that we’re parents?
(R) This episode originally aired 13/10/22.
In this episode:
Kylie’s friend who feels lost after becoming a mum "I'm so boring!" Ideas for creativity through those hard years when you feel exhausted Why we keep growing all throughout life Finding joy in the mundane Missing life before kids Dan Gilbert: The psychology of your future self | TED.
Related links:
How Being a Mum Can Pump Up Your Résumé Life Lessons Every Child (And Adult) Can Learn.
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Wed, 03 Jul 2024 - 1613 - #1025 - Dan Pink: The Power of Regret
Regret is often seen as a negative emotion to be avoided, but what if it holds the key to better parenting? Dr Justin Coulson and author Dan Pink uncover the surprising ways regret can teach us valuable lessons, helping us to be kinder, more thoughtful parents, and ultimately, better people.
(R) This episode originally aired 2/11/22.
Topics included in this episode –
The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink Why do people say that they don’t have regrets? Your regrets say a lot about you as a person Your regrets can inform your future decisions Reframing regret Inward, outward, forward “At-least”ing and “if-only”ing Dan’s advice for time poor parents Normalising the emotion of regret Talk to your kids about your regrets Dan shares some of his regrets.
Related links:
Learn more about Dan Pink & his books #570 Do Over - What Would You Change If You Could?.
Last chance to register for the Supporting Autistic Children course
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Tue, 02 Jul 2024 - 1612 - #1024 - Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
A listener has asked, “Should we tell our kids they are beautiful?”
It's ok to tell our kids they're beautiful, but we must ensure their sense of worth isn't solely tied to their looks. Focusing too much on appearance can make children rely on external validation and set them up to have a limited view of themselves. We share some helpful ways that you can encourage your child so they know they are enough, exactly as they are.
(R) This episode originally aired 16/8/22.
In today’s episode:
Should we tell our kids that they’re beautiful? Renee Engeln – Beauty Sick Justin shares some ideas from his book Miss-Connection Teach your daughters media literacy Try to not comment on appearance when you bump into a friend Focus on your child’s inner strengths/beauty, personality, values “Instead of watching what goes into our kid’s mouths, we should watch what comes out of ours.” – James Corden.
Related links:
Pixel Perfect [Webinar] Watch Your Words [Article] Am I Not Pretty Enough? [Article] #126 Why Your Daughter Doesn't Need Another Mirror In Her Life (Featuring Dr Renee Engeln).
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Mon, 01 Jul 2024 - 1611 - #1023 - 10 Fights Worth Having
It is not worth going to war with your child over their preferences. There are going to be more important issues that will require you to stand your ground. These moments can end in a full-blown battle with your child, or by reframing the conversation, you can work through these tough issues, avoiding conflict while still keeping your kids healthy and safe. Listen in to find out how!
(R) This episode originally aired 6/6/22.
Topics discussed in today’s podcast:
Common fights parents have with children Sleeping, eating Friends, parties, sleepovers Social media, alcohol & drugs, intimacy, pornography, dress Conflict is normal Is your child's safety at risk? Control and power struggles Conversations without conflict Justin’s ladder metaphor Prioritising relationship Preferences vs. principles.
Related links:
Winning the “Gaming” Battle with our Boys – and Taking our Parenting to the Next Level Eat Right Without a Fight [eBook] Should We be Giving our Teens Alcohol? Whose House Rules?.
Register for the Supporting Autistic Children course with Dr Joey Lawrence and Dr Justin Coulson. Doors close July 8.
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Sun, 30 Jun 2024 - 1610 - #1022 - The Pursuit of Happiness
Are parents really responsible for their kids’ happiness? Doing things purely to make our children happy often results in disappointment—for them and for us. Instead of trying to satisfy our children's insatiable craving for happiness, we share four things to teach them that will help build happiness as a by-product rather than an end in and of itself.
(R) This episode originally aired 1/8/22.
In this episode:
Myth – It’s our job to make our kids happy Things that could go wrong if you think it’s your job to make your kids happy Setting our kids up to fail What ARE we responsible for? Emotion coaching Do hard things Building positive relationships.
Related links:
Hopeful Kids Are Happy Kids Helping Our Kids Feel Good By Doing Good Purchase Better Together on the Happy Families website – Because a happy family doesn’t just happen..
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Thu, 27 Jun 2024 - 1609 - #1021 - Parenting Myths Pt 3
Many myths surround parenting, including the misguided beliefs that you can maintain your pre-child lifestyle or that you will instantly connect with your baby or even that teenagers are stupid. Discover why these and other common misconceptions need to be debunked.
(R) This episode originally aired 28/7/22.
In today’s episode:
Babies are intense! Feeding/sleeping challenges Pre-child life and routine Motherhood can be all encompassing Accepting limitations and boundaries that come with children Dads bonding with baby Birth experience can affect connection Emergency caesarean, postnatal depression Connection can take time, may require interventional help Challenging kids The teenage brain.
Related links:
Pixel Perfect [Webinar] The Teenage Brain [Webinar] Top Seven Tips for New Dads to Boost Wellbeing 13 Reasons why Teenagers are GREAT!.
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Wed, 26 Jun 2024 - 1608 - #1020 - James Anderson: How to Create Skilful Learners
How can we help our children become better learners? When learning is seen as a process of creating abilities rather than discovering abilities, children can embrace challenges as opportunities for growth instead of avoiding them due to fear of failure.
James Anderson and Justin Coulson explore how parents can help children leave their comfort zone and step into their learning zone, to understand that struggle and discomfort are natural and temporary parts of the learning journey and that investing effort results in hard things becoming easy. (R)
This episode originally aired 27/7/22.
In today’s episode:
#529 The Growth Mindset with James Anderson Learnership Mindset – fixed vs growth. Lifelong learners, performance learners, non-learners Finding and following your strengths Choosing what you want to become Learning zones Comfort zone – easy things you haven’t done yet You don't get better by doing your best Effort is the cost of growth That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Related links:
Learn more about James Anderson – LEARNERSHIP: The Skill Of Learning The Most Powerful Words We Can Say to Our Children.
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Tue, 25 Jun 2024 - 1607 - #1019 - Parenting Myths Part 2
Myth: "Parents cannot be friends with their child."
Relationships that are based on trust, appropriate disclosure, and respect are still friendships, regardless of whether they are egalitarian or not. Our children need these kinds of relationships with us. But there are limits to this friendship. Justin & Kylie examine the nature of parent-child friendships and how this relationship morphs and grows over time from the early years right up to adulthood.
In this episode:
Can you be friends with your kids? Parent before friend What our children need from us Mistakes parents make when trying to be their child's friend Permissive parenting Can you tell whether someone is a good parent by how good their kids turn out? High level of control can lead to rebellious children At what point is a child a good person? Mental health and wellbeing, special needs Challenging behaviours Judging parents on a child's behaviour Children make their own choices Be the best parent you can be.
Related links:
Anxiety In Your Child [Webinar - free for HF members] I Am Not Your Friend. I Am Your Parent How to Fix a Problem Child.
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Mon, 24 Jun 2024 - 1606 - #1018 - Parenting Myths Part 1
Are you tired of feeling like your worth as a parent hinges on your child's achievements? In today's podcast, we debunk common parenting myths and explore why it's unhealthy to measure your parenting success by your child's performance.
We discuss the importance of self-care, the balance between personal needs and parental duties, and the critical role of maintaining a strong relationship with your spouse for a thriving family life.
(R) This episode originally aired 25/7/22.
In this episode:
Each child brings a new parenting challenge Parenting teaches you a lot about yourself How do we measure our success as a parent? Balancing the needs of children with self-care Prioritising your relationship with partner/spouse What does it mean to be a good parent?.
Related links:
Dadding Done Right [Webinar] Self Care Strategies That Really Work We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing Having Parents in Love Is Great for Your Kids.
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Sun, 23 Jun 2024 - 1605 - #1017 - Life Lessons From Laundry
Justin is on a mission to use his phone less. Find out what he has done this week that has been a freeing (albeit slightly inconvenient) experience.
In response to last week's episode 'Mum Break', a lot of women are saying they could never leave the kids and go away for a week! Kylie and Justin discuss why this is the case and what can be done to support and encourage mums to take some time out for themselves.
In this episode:
Unplug Childhood Deleting apps from devices Dropping social media The never ending laundry cycle A shout out to all the extraordinary single parents listening! "Mum breaks" - why they aren't happening more The 'martyr syndrome' of motherhood Dads need to step up.
Related links:
#100 Managing Bedtime as a Solo Parent 10 Reasons You’re Doing Better as a Parent Than You Think What Dad Can Do for Mum’s Wellbeing.
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Thu, 20 Jun 2024 - 1604 - #1016 - From The Doctor's Desk: Touch Good, Anger Bad
We unpack the latest science for parents with three fascinating studies this week: the positive outcomes that come from connecting online, the power of touch and how it has the capacity to ease pain, anxiety, and depression, and how anger is worse for us than we thought.
In this episode:
A Multiverse Analysis of the Associations Between Internet Use and Well-Being by Matti Vuorre and Andrew K. Przybylski Internet connection and wellbeing Brain development Getting the balance right The power of touch Vagus nerve and Karen Young A systematic review and multivariate meta-analysis of the physical and mental health benefits of touch interventions Stress hormones damage us Anger Does a Lot More Damage to Your Body Than You Realize Anger Kills, by Dr Redford Williams Anger is normal Stephen Covey - the space between stimulus and response.
Related links:
Why Getting Angry Doesn't Work #553 All The Rage: Taming Parental Anger.
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Wed, 19 Jun 2024 - 1603 - #1015 - Beck Delahoy Says Raising Kids is Easy
Beck Delahoy explores the paradox of modern parenting: while raising children has never been easier thanks to advancements in health, education, and living standards, parenting itself has become increasingly challenging. However, with these advancements, a "slow life strategy" has emerged, leading to intensive parenting practices doing more harm than good. It’s time to ease up on the intensive parenting and embrace a simpler, more fulfilling approach to raising children.
In this episode:
Beck Delahoy's 'Lessons Learned' Parenting Substack Life expectancy's pre 1900s Why raising children into adulthood has never been easier The 'slow life strategey' Intensive parenting Parenting is harder Time to lower the parenting bar.
Related links:
What Your Child Needs From You [Webinar].
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Tue, 18 Jun 2024 - 1602 - #1014 - The Peace Keeper & The People Pleaser
Conflict is a normal, natural part of every healthy relationship, but sometimes our children can become fearful and anxious when parents argue. You can have more productive arguments and model healthy conflict resolution by focusing on the quality of the interaction—the regulation—rather than the resolution itself.
Brittany asks, "How do you teach empathy without creating a people-pleaser?"
We want our children to be helpful, kind, and considerate of others, but not at the expense of their own wellbeing or with unhealthy levels of self-sacrifice. There are three things you can teach your child to prevent them from becoming people-pleasers.
In this episode:
When children become concerned and try to keep the peace between parents Be attentive to your child's worries Is it ever ok to argue in front of the kids? Examples of unhealthy conflict Respectful, productive conflict How to focus on regulation over resolution (4 things to model) John Gottman, Esther Perez People-pleasing VS empathy, consideration of others Where does your child get their value or sense of identity from?.
Related links:
#523 Should We Argue In Front Of The Kids?.
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Mon, 17 Jun 2024 - 1601 - #1013 - Are Emotions Too Important?
When we make feelings “King”, our children can become stuck in their emotion, unable to regulate or move forward. Justin shares the right way to respond to feelings, helping them understand, process, and then move through their emotional state.
In this episode:
Revolutionary change in how parents respond to emotions Impact of TikTok parenting influencers Validating emotions Feeling seen, heard, valued Ways to regulate and tame emotions Parent or therapist? #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 1 #827 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 2 #976 Abigail Shrier's Bad Therapy How to help your child process their emotion and move on from it.
Related links:
The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents, by Lisa Damour The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [Webinar] Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit].
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Sun, 16 Jun 2024 - 1600 - #1012 - A Mum's Break
Kylie is away on a kid-free adventure with a friend...and loving it! Has Justin been surviving without her? Listen in to hear the challenges, the fun, and the lessons they are both experiencing during this extended time apart.
In this episode:
A girls week away Friendships Pressures of family life Importance of stability and routine.
Related links:
Overwhelm [webinar] 18 Ways to Increase Your Happiness.
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Thu, 13 Jun 2024 - 1599 - #1011 - This Week in Parenting: Smacking & Socials
This Week In Parenting: why Australian parents are more open to smacking children than other countries, and how we can reduce peer pressure for kids and for parents by joining forces and creating community.
In this episode:
Smacking and corporal punishment Australian parents most open to smacking kids in international study | 9News The Parenting Revolution Can Australia make age verification work for social media? | The Guardian Momentum is building! 36 Months - sign the petition Let kids be kids - have a play-based childhood Peer pressure for kids and for parents too Unplug Childhood - join the village & take the pledge.
Related links:
#454 Online Safety with Julie Inman Grant from the e-Safety Commission Why It's Not Ok To Smack Your Kids - a great list of resources for what to do instead.
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Wed, 12 Jun 2024 - 1598 - #1010 - The Behaviour Curriculum With Susie O'Brien
Journalist and author Susie O'Brien chats with Justin about the current situation in schools regarding student behaviour and classroom management, with a recent senate inquiry suggesting that it's time to go back to basics and teach children how to behave at school.
In this episode:
A Senate Inquiry is Calling For a New 'Behaviour Curriculum' to Tackle Classroom Disruptions | Monash University Getting back to basics with classroom behaviour Explicit Teaching Push in New Behaviour Curriculum | Education Review What do teachers want? Lack of support from principals and parents Regressive or progressive?Related links:
The Calm Classroom [Webinar] One-Minute Wellbeing: 50 Quick Tips for Educators [Free Download] Boys, Girls, Brains, & Behaviour in the ClassroomSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Tue, 11 Jun 2024 - 1597 - #1009 ADHD in Adults & Toddlers
Three-year-olds are exhausting! Energetic, emotionally reactive, and uninhibited—all the things that can make a parent begin to question if their child has ADHD! Today, Dr Justin looks at the developmentally normal behaviours of a three-year-old and shares four things they need in order to learn, grow, and thrive.
Plus, three tips for neurodivergent parents trying to hold it all together while navigating the chaos of family life and struggling with their own ADHD.
In this episode:
ADHD, ODD, or just three? Developmental Milestones - Preschoolers Little People, Big Feelings (Webinar) What Your Child Needs From You Why saying "use your words" isn't helpful Theory of mind Diagnosing ADHD What 3-year-olds need Neurodivergent parents Challenges of ADHD as an adult Help For the ADHD Parent - from the Happy Families team.
Related links:
Parenting an ADHD Child Women in Australia with ADHD - FB support group ADHD Mums - Australian resource and podcast.
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Mon, 10 Jun 2024 - 1596 - #1008 - Family Dinner Deep Dive
Are you overthinking family meals? Do you want a little more peace and a lot less chaos at the dinner table? How can a family dinner fit in amongst work commitments and extra-curricular activities? We take a look at the research behind what was once considered the norm - family dinners, and share some tips to ease the pressure.
In this episode:
San Remo market research Chaos of mealtimes YOYO (You're On Your Own) night Screens and mealtimes Extra-curricular activities for kids AND parents are impacting family meals 5 tips to ease the pressure Are we overthinking family meals? 5 realistic tips to ease the pressure | The Conversation Rituals of connectionRelated links:
Eat Right Without a Fight - E-Book How do I Get My Child to Eat Healthy Food Without the Power Struggles? How to Banish Tech and Make Mealtimes Matter Menu Planner [Free Download].
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Sun, 09 Jun 2024 - 1595 - #1007 - Let's Unplug Childhood
We know that giving children access to social media and devices is not in their best interests. Our children deserve—and need—a play-based childhood. Join the village today and “Unplug Childhood” with us!
In this episode:
"It was the damn phones" by Kori Jane | Instagram
The “Unplug Childhood” movement
Make some noise and get on board! Why this matters No social media before age 13 Give kids a play-based childhood Make the pledgetodayRelated links:
Our Phones Are Wrecking Us Kids Need Smart Parents Not Smart Phones.
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Thu, 06 Jun 2024 - 1594 - #1006 - Book Club: Why is Kylie Reading Kid's Books?
In between homeschooling, 7 seasons of House, and a lot of travel, Justin and Kylie still managed to do some reading this month. Listen in to hear reviews of a classic children's book, a terrifying, heartbreaking YA novel, a disappointing flop filled with falsehoods, a warts and all memoir, and a contender for book of the year!
Kylie's books:
This Is Where it Ends, by Marieke Nijkamp 4.5/5 Charlotte’s Web, by E.B White 5/5Justin's books:
Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up, by Abigail Shrier 3/5 Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class, by Rob Henderson 5/5 Time to Think: The Inside Story of the Collapse of the Tavistock's Gender Service for Children, by Hannah Barnes 75/5.
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Wed, 05 Jun 2024 - 1593 - #1005 - 2 Books on Neurodivergence That You Must Read
Life can be really challenging for neurodivergent kids growing up in a world where they don't seem to fit in. Justin speaks with two authors about their fabulous books, and why representation in literature is so important for our children.
Square Me, Round World by Chelsea Luker is a collection of short stories describing what life can feel like when you are a person growing up in a world not built for you and Wonderfully Wired by Stacey Lucas-Toumbourou celebrates the strengths and differences of 100 neurodivergent individuals who changed the world
In this episode:
Square Me, Round World, by Chelsea Luker | Booktopia The importance of representation Raising neurodivergent children Wonderfully Wired, by Stacey Lucas-ToumbourouRelated links:
Championing Neurodiversity: Helping Your Child Thrive in a Neurotypical World [Webinar] 'Supporting Autistic Children: Nurturing Neurodiversity' with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child 7 Insights for Parents of Autistic Children | Chris BonnelloSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Tue, 04 Jun 2024 - 1592 - #1004 Ditching Screens as a Grown Up
Screen struggles are something that every family is dealing with - and not just with the kids! We share some small changes you can make to help you find a healthier and more balanced relationship with your phone.
Does it feel like your child knows exactly which buttons to push to trigger you? News flash: YOU are the only one that can choose how YOU respond! Learn how to increase your competence (and confidence!) in holding personal boundaries and regulating your own emotions, and watch your relationship with your child improve in the process.
In this episode:
We Are Social 2023 Digital Report How to turn your phone screen to grayscale Parental triggers Neurodiversity Setting and respecting boundaries The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey You choose your response Parenting competence Building relationshipsRelated links:
#565 Pushing Our Buttons Why Our Kids Need Us to Set Limits How To Be Less Tired #379 How I Work with Amantha Imber #240 Phones & Family Life with Dr Kathryn ModeckiSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Mon, 03 Jun 2024 - 1591 - #1003 When the 3 E's Don't Work
Dr Justin’s 3 E’s (explore, explain, and empower) are the pillars of autonomy-supportive parenting. But there are times when they just do not work (we are all only flawed humans after all!). Today's tips will help you calmly and confidently navigate through the heat of these challenging moments.
In this episode:
The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Self-determination theory Basic psychological needs of every human Relatedness, competence, autonomy Need-supportive parenting High emotions = low intelligence Being ok with our children's discomfort Patience and practice Fast is slow, and slow is fast Neurodiversity Turn towards your child in challenging timesRelated links:
The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson The Secret to Regulating Emotions How to Fix a Problem Child Little People, Big Feelings [The Free Webinar]Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Sun, 02 Jun 2024 - 1590 - #1002 Why Kylie Loves Snapchat
Connecting with your teenager on their terms gives you the opportunity to engage with their world in a meaningful way. Being on the same digital platforms as your child allows for greater understanding, better conversations, and stronger connections, keeping them safe along the way.
In this episode:
Connection - feeling seen, heard, and valued The joy of Snapchat filters Understanding our teenager's world Doing housework with your child Daddy-daughter datesRelated links:
Miss-Connection 7 Day Connection Challenge [Free Download] Miss-Connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter “Hates” You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk, by Dr Justin Coulson You Did WHAT on Snapchat?! Settle Down About SelfiesSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Thu, 30 May 2024
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