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The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.
- 1659 - #1073 - A Father's Day Bromance
'I'll Do Better Tomorrow' is a review of the week that was.
With more work-related travel than ever before, Justin still managed to make it home for Father's Day—his best one yet with a peak moment of his life involving son-in-law Jared! Listen in to hear how their relationship has moved from reluctant acceptance to that of deep friendship because of a conscious decision to love unconditionally.
Plus, some sobering facts from Lifeline's Annual Gala Ball: Over a million calls are made to Lifeline every single year. 3000 phone calls per day, which means that somebody is in crisis every 28 seconds! Thank you to all of Lifeline's volunteers, sponsors, workforce, and other contributors. We recognise the importance of this service and are so very grateful for the wonderful work you do.
In this episode:
Lifeline's Annual Gala Ball Father's Day Low expectations, no pressure, time with family Being a grandparent on Father's Day Reaping what you sow Unconditional love Lifeline: Help is available. Speak with someone today! Call 13 11 14Related links:
Fatherhood Redefined [Webinar] Use coupon code "Spring15" to receive $15 discount! Sale ends tonight. Present Dads, Healthy Kids #890 How You Know You’re LovedDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 05 Sep 2024 - 1658 - #1072 - Does Parenting Have a PR Problem?
Journalist Angela Pollard writes that "[a]n age of confession and vulnerability has seen parenting rebranded as a challenging, joyless, expensive, and freedom-sapping decision. They forgot the awesome bits."
On the podcast today, Angela chats with Justing about finding the joy in parenting, the importance of perspective and gratitude, and why we must speak of the great parts of parenthood—because although parenting is hard, it's absolutely worth it!
In this episode:
The vulnerabilities VS the joys of parenting Parenting needs a PR job? Blame the mummy bloggers | Angela Mollard | The Daily Telegraph Finding fulfilment in parenting Generational differences Gratitude Look for the 'glimmers' every day #148 Flecks of Gold Perspective Being present What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson (use coupon code SPRING15 for a sneaky discount! Ends 6/5/24)Related links:
Parenting Made Easy(er) Unplugging Parenthood (and being present!)Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 04 Sep 2024 - 1657 - #1071 - Body Boundaries With Jayneen Sanders
It's National Child Protection Week!
Today's conversation is with author, publisher, mother, and educator Janeen Sanders, a strong public advocate for children’s safety, education, and empowerment.
Jayneen joins Dr Justin to speak on the importance of teaching consent and body safety to children of all ages and how parents can do this in age-appropriate ways. This is an essential skill for every parent: to keep our children safe from sexual abuse and sexual predators.
In this episode:
Statistics The younger a child, the more vulnerable and at-risk they are Online grooming #926 Who Tops the List of Child Sexual Abusers? Using correct anatomical names Teaching body boundary and consent Grandparents and hugging Creating a safety network for your child.
Jayneen Sander's resources:
Body Safety Red Flags by Jayneen Sanders My Body! What I Say Goes! by Jayneen Sanders Body Safety and Consent VALUE BUNDLEby Jayneen Sanders My Body Safety Rules - FREE POSTER Head to the Educate 2 Empower website for more books, lesson plans, posters, and other resources for parents and teachers..
Related links:
Sex, Consent, & Staying Safe [Webinar] #226 More Than Consent Education with Melinda Tankard ReistDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 03 Sep 2024 - 1656 - #1070 - Q&A: Teen School Refusal & Motivation Styles
Robert asks, What can you do when your teenager won’t go to school? Throw in the complexity of neurodivergence, and this becomes a tough situation!
Plus, a question from Sian about managing the inconsistency between a reward/token system at school and what is going on at home. Can two very different structures coexist and work for your child?
In this episode:
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Emotion-Based School Avoidance
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Persistent Desire for Autonomy
Conflict around gaming
Connection vs control Explore, explain, empower Emotional valence (the extent to which an emotion is pleasant or unpleasant, ranging from negative to positive) Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation Building structure in the homeRelated links:
School Refusal Screens And Our Boys Punishment, Reward, and Other Disciplinary Mistakes #720 What are the Psychological Needs of Our Kids?Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 02 Sep 2024 - 1655 - #1069 - Should You Tidy Your Teen's Room?
Is cleaning your teenage son's room every day reinforcing outdated gender roles and enabling a future of entitlement? Or is it an act of love, showing care and understanding for a busy, tired teenager?
No matter where you stand, Justin and Kylie delve into what truly matters in a thoughtful discussion about kids, chores, and their role in contributing to the household.
In this episode:
Mom tidies teen's room each morning as a kind act of service, prompting a fascinating debate | Upworthy Social media - the good, the bad, the ugly Gratitude Chores, schedules, jobs Gendered expectations? Division of labour, working together Explore, explain, empowerRelated links:
I am Not the Maid – How to get 5 Star Service from the Kids at Home My 13-Year-Old Doesn’t Pick up a Single Thing Developmental Milestones [Introduction]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 01 Sep 2024 - 1654 - #1068 - A Screen Breakthrough
Got a tech-savvy teen who dodges screen-time limits or constantly craves social media validation? Justin and Kylie share how their weekly family meetings provide time and space for ongoing conversations about screen use, leading to personal accountability and self-evaluation, with increased buy-in from the whole family!
In this episode:
'Word of the year' review Why Grandparents matter Developmental paediatricians Family meetings Screen use Sneaky teens - getting around screen-time limits Toxic need for validation on social media Force creates resistance Motivation contiuum PhubbingRelated Links:
#845 Phones, Phubbing & Relationship Satisfaction Register for The Screen Smart Series - 'Unplug Childhood' and 'Tweens, Teens & Screens' #1049 Q&A – The Benefits of Plants & Grandparents Learn more about the motivation continuum in our webinar Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do InsteadDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 29 Aug 2024 - 1653 - #1067 - A Brief History of Dad Jokes
With Father's Day just around the corner, Justin & Kylie go head to head in a battle for gold in the UFC (Ultimate Father Comedy) before stepping back in time to discover the origins of the comedy equivalent of comfort food: the "Dad Joke"!
Humour can be a quick and easy way to build connection with your kids; but don't just rely on a good dad joke to get the fun flowing! Learn what else you can do to help your kids feel seen, heard, and valued this Father's Day and beyond.
In this episode:
A history of dad jokes Dad jokes: intentional, predictable, cheesy, wholesome Building connection To a child, love is spelled T.I.M.E Finding opportunities to have fun The Neurological Dance of Parental Bonding: Unraveling The Oxytocin Connection | KoolkKatsRelated Links:
Me & My Dad Activity Book [Free Download] #489 Complementary Roles of Mums and Dads With Jenet EricksonDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 28 Aug 2024 - 1652 - #1065 - Being an ADHD Mum With Jane McFadden
The ADHD experience is increasingly common and most people with a diagnosis (or seeking one), or who are parenting ADHD children are struggling in some way.
Jane McFadden, host of the Australian podcast "ADHD Mums," shares her lived experience of receiving a shock adult ADHD diagnosis following a period of burnout, overwhelm, and mental health struggles, and the unique challenges she faces as a neurodivergent mum to neurodivergent children.
In this episode:
Adult ADHD diagnosis Neurodivergent parents Assessment criteria for adult ADHD Masking and camouflaging Setting up systems, scaffolding, and accommodation Mental health and comorbidities of ADHD Labels Benefits of a diagnosis Sensory issuesRelated Links:
Help For the ADHD Parent [Article] Join the Waitlist: Parenting ADHD [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child [Article]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 27 Aug 2024 - 1651 - #1064 - Q&A: Light Sleepers & Light Fingers
You know the feeling - it's the middle of the night and a small human wakes you from your slumber and takes up residence in your bed. Caroline wants to know if it's normal for a nine year old to continue wanting to sleep in her bed, and what (if anything), she should do about it.
Kate has discovered that her five year old has a tendency for being light fingered and stealing things from her purse. Should she be worried about the stealing and sneaky behaviour?
In this episode:
Anxiety at night Co-sleeping Evolving ideas around childhood Building connection, wellbeing, belonging Emotional regulation Sleep matters! Thumb-sucking Low impulse control and executive function Theory of mind What to do if your child is stealing Explore, explain, empower Teaching valuesRelated Links:
Developmental Milestones [Part 4: Middle Childhood] My Kids Don't Eat Or Sleep #846 An Honest ConversationDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 26 Aug 2024 - 1650 - #1063 - Hurting Kids on Purpose
Evidence suggests that META and other big tech companies are purposefully hurting kids through their lack of content moderation and their choice of harmful persuasive design features.
Justin and Kylie discuss how you can protect your children from online exploitation and manipulation by giving them a play-based childhood. Join the village, sign the pledge to delay smartphones and social media, and “Unplug Childhood” with us!
In this episode:
The Surgeon General Has New Social Media Guidelines. Minnesota Already Made Some of Them Into Law | After Babel Substack | Ravi Dyer META whistleblower reports Social media algorithms Prioritising engagement over content quality Kids exposed to unwanted contact, sexual advances REPORT on addictive design of online services and consumer protection in the EU single market | European Parliament What is persuasive design? Unplug Childhood - sign the pledgeRelated Links:
#1002 Kylie Can’t Get Enough Snapchat #1060 – No Hang-Ups With School Phone Bans (Heads Up Alliance interview) Unplugging Parenthood The Screen Smart Series: Unplug Childhood + Tweens, Teens & ScreensDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 25 Aug 2024 - 1649 - #1062 - Who Let the Dog Out?
Family life is a constant challenge of working out where your priorities are at any moment: Justin and Kylie must choose between a quick weekend getaway and tackling their to-do list! Plus, the flow-on effect of reducing screen time usage, removing the family TV and cancelling Netflix has been revolutionary - but how did the Coulsons get all the kids on board?
In this episode:
A weekend of chores and to-do lists!
Creating margin Being present Super Saturday Family meetings Accountability and intentionality ScreensRelated Links:
The Screens Issue #1045 – The Art & Science of Family MeetingsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 22 Aug 2024 - 1648 - #1061 - This Week in Parenting: Raygun, Lost High-Fives & Panic Attacks
This Week in Parenting:
- Perhaps the most polarising Paris Olympic story was that of Aussie Olympic breakdancer Rachel Gunn. International meme fodder, or pure gold for sparking meaningful conversations with our kids, encouraging critical thinking, and creating empathy? A beautiful example of understanding and compassion in the workplace and from the world at large occurred after ABC presenter Nate Byrne experienced a panic attack live on air. Something is wrong when a top Crossing Supervisor is banned from high-fiving kids as they walk to school. A fascinating story on reversing autism highlights the need for good-quality research and responsible reporting.
There's a mental health crisis among our young people: why are we getting it so wrong, and what needs to be done?
In this episode:
"Raygun" Olympic breakdancing controversy Turning media hype into constructive conversation, critical thinking, and empathy Hidden signs of panic attacks Presenter has panic attack live on the ABC Support structures for mental health Open communication and understanding in the workplace Brutal nature of social media Beloved lollipop man banned from high-fiving primary students after parent complaint | News.com.au Responsible reporting ‘Autism can be reversed’, scientists claim | The Telegraph Safeguarding mental health of Australian youth Major contributors to the rise in mental health challenges‘Danger zone’ for mental health, says global study | The Australian
Related Links:
#990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne HollondsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 21 Aug 2024 - 1647 - #1060 - No Hang-Ups With School Phone Bans
Today, I had an insightful interview with Dany Elachi, founder of The Heads Up Alliance, examining the No Phones policy that every school in the country should be implementing—the benefits, the evidence, and the challenges. Dany shares how community is the solution to an issue that so many parents feel they are facing alone—how to say "not yet" to a smartphone and/or social media.
In this episode:
Forming alliances with other families Keeping teens off social media Creating a consistent phone-free environment in Australian schools Empirical vs anecdotal evidence Behavioural challenges in schools Mental health, bullying, academic outcomes Catholic and Independent Schools Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Dr Michael Carr-Gregg: “A no brainer from the university of bleeding obvious” THE HEADS UP ALLIANCE | Instagram, Facebook LinktreeRelated Links:
Unplug Childhood #980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt Pixel Perfect [Webinar]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 20 Aug 2024 - 1646 - #1059 - Q&A: Reality Check & Conforming at Kindy
If your family was invited to participate in a reality TV show would it be an easy "yes!", a "no way!", or would you deliberate? Alan, from the USA, asks Dr Justin for his opinion.
Kirsty questions if she should be worried about her 5 year old son, with teachers concerned he is not conforming at preschool, and wants to know how she can help him. Is preschool a time and place where conformity should be encouraged, or is it stifling individuality?
In this episode:
Child on-screen exploitation Potential life-long ramifications Pros and cons of participating Questions to ask the producer Conformity is a dirty word! Arguments for and against conformity Importance of context Motivation Teachers usually know what they're talking about! Gain child's perspective Explore solutions with childRelevant Links:
What to do when kids won’t listen [Webinar]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 19 Aug 2024 - 1645 - #1058 - NAPLAN Nation: Failing our Kids
The 2024 NAPLAN results have shown that one in three students are below educational standards, with almost 400,000 students requiring catch up tutoring.
The results also show that around a quarter of the over 1 million students tested are said to be 'developing' - which just means they're failing to pass the minimum standards required.
What's gone wrong with education in Australia? Natasha Bita is the education editor of The Australian, and has won numerous awards for her work, including a Walkley Award (Australia’s most prestigious journalism award).
In this episode:
2024 NAPLAN results Epic fail: NAPLAN reveals one in three students below standard | Natasha Beta View a video version of Natasha's story on YouTube Screens in schools Schools manipulating NAPLAN data Positives of NAPLAN Impact of teacher shortages and wellbeing on student learning Going back to basics (phones etc)Read more from Natasha on The Australian's website.
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 18 Aug 2024 - 1644 - #1057 - Getting the Guideposts Right
Parenting and family life is a continuous striving to get the balance right. Family meetings can help with this struggle, providing guideposts so that everyone is on the same page. Inviting kids to be part of this process keeps everyone accountable and moving in the same direction.
In this episode:
Parenting teenagers Reducing screen use Family meetings Accountability Getting on the same page Super Saturday The Adventure Challenge: Activity book, scratch off family activitiesRelevant Links:
Same Page Parenting #1045 – The Art & Science of Family MeetingsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 15 Aug 2024 - 1643 - #1055 - Why the Kids Don't Listen
The reality is that our children can hear. They are listening. They just won't do as they are asked! We share five things you can do to make your kids WANT to listen, building stronger relationships with them along the way.
In this episode:
Free hearing test Carefactor = zero 5 reasons kids aren't listening Egocentric Attentional capacity Silence and refusal Immediate compliance Connection vs correction Be involved and patient Accountability Fun, calm, and kind leads to a better relationshipRelevant Links:
How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [PDF download]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 13 Aug 2024 - 1642 - #1054 Q&A: 24/7 Tech & School vs Home Behaviour
Justin is answering two listener questions in this episode.
Christina from the United States is wondering how she can get a less than cooperative teenager to put away the screens and get to bed, even though she has already compromised on them staying up later than she would like.
Kate is wondering why her five year old's behaviour is so different between school and home. How can a 'model student' melt down over simple requests like being asked to take her plate to the kitchen after dinner?
In this episode:
Screen limits and teenagers Sleep #1003 When the 3 E’s Don’t Work Force creates resistance Jocelyn Brewer - The 3 M's of Digital Nutrition Differences in school and home environment Kids feel safe at home Masking at school Allow time to decompress after school #866 Creating MarginRelated Links:
Tweens, Teens & Screens [Webinar] Screens And Our Boys 5 Ways to Make Family Life More Fun Developmental Milestones [Part 4: Middle Childhood]Get your questions to Justin by hitting the record button on the Happy Families website.
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Mon, 12 Aug 2024 - 1641 - #1053 - Is Risky Play Worth the Risk?
Does "risky play" make you excited or very nervous? The research is clear regarding the many benefits to children who engage in risky play. With it becoming increasingly hard to find public spaces that allow for risky play, we share ideas and tips for how parents can encourage and support their children to engage in risky play at home.
In this episode:
Old-school playgrounds What is risky play? Healthy childhood development through outdoor risky play: Navigating the balance with injury prevention | Canadian Paediatric Society How to encourage risky play at home "You want your kids to be as safe as necessary, not as safe as possible” The importance of agency and autonomy in play Roald Dahl quote on kids and risks Physical development Emotional resilience Social skills and mental health Solving problems Risk assessmentRelevant Links:
Playing It Safe May Be The Biggest Risk Of All Resilience: Developing strength, calm and kindness in our kids [Webinar] #50 Risks and Rolling Down HillsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 11 Aug 2024 - 1640 - #1052 - Other People Matter
Saying goodbye to loved ones has been the cause for much reflection for Justin, including the acknowledgment that owning our own mortality allows us to invest more fully in life.
Kylie describes a recent family meeting, and how the buy in that comes when everybody takes accountability for the part they play in how a family feels and functions can be life-changing.
In this episode:
Losing loved ones Treasure every moment of life Terror Management Theory Don't count the days; allow the days to count! Family meetings Accountability How to get buy-in from the kids Exercise and routineRelevant Links:
How To Talk To Your Children About Death #1045 – The Art & Science of Family MeetingsDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 08 Aug 2024 - 1639 - #1051 - From the Doctor's Desk: Peanut Allergies & ASD Touch Reactions
From the Doctor's Desk today we unpack three studies relevant to parents and families.
First, an intervention that could decrease the likelihood of developing a peanut allergy by 71% (N.B. we are not sharing medical advice!). The second study - another intervention involving a 2 week screen-free media reduction for participants, with fantastic results! And the third, a study looking at differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent responses to touch, and some helpful tips for parents of neurodivergent children when it comes to understanding and navigating these responses.
In this episode:
Peanut allergies The danger of becoming risk-adverse Screen Media Use and Mental Health of Children and Adolescents: A Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Clinical Trial | Media and Youth | JAMA Network Open A happier child in 2 weeks? Emotional dysregulation Parental responsibility with screens Follow-up to Adolescence after Early Peanut Introduction for Allergy Prevention | NEJM Evidence Why touch matters Sensory issues, autism Differences in neurodivergent vs neurotypical response to touch Consent Autonomic and hedonic response to affective touch in autism spectrum disorder - Capiotto - 2024 - Autism Research - Wiley Online LibraryRelevant Links:
Tech giants are ANTI-kids Unplug Childhood - join the village today #1016 – From The Doctor’s Desk: Touch Good, Anger BadDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 07 Aug 2024 - 1638 - #1050 - Adam Voigt: What's Really Going On In the Classroom
A conversation with Adam Voigt, Founder and CEO of Real Schools on the importance of student engagement, how parents can support and advocate for teachers, and why we need to make schools a diverse environment - where all children can come together to learn.
In this episode:
Teacher stress Additional needs Supporting teachers Schools and parents working together Student engagement The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt | Penguin Books Too much tech in the classroom? Mobile phone bans Does going to a selective school make you more likely to go to uni, get a job and be satisfied in life? | The Conversation Selective schools Importance of diversity Parental guiltDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 06 Aug 2024 - 1637 - #1049 Q&A - The Benefits of Plants & Grandparents
Amy from Melbourne has been trying to boost her families wellbeing, and while she's been doing all of the tried and traditional methods, she is wondering what the benefits of indoor plants are for her family.
Jenny from West Australia is seeking some advice around grandparents looking after her three year old, despite some of their parenting styles being quite different to hers.
Related links:
Check out our recent From the Doctor's Desk episode - #1036 Screen Use Bad, Green Space Good What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree [Article]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 05 Aug 2024 - 1636 - #1048 - Raising an Olympian
If you have a child with a natural talent or a burning desire to succeed in a sport or other activity, how do you cultivate a successful (perhaps even elite) level of performance and raise them to have perspective? Justin and Kylie offer four ideas to help your children be engaged in their athletic and competitive pursuits in healthy, balanced ways.
In this episode:
US Gymnast Alexandra Raismen - parent reaction Finding a healthy balance Professionalization of youth sports can lead to burnout | AAP Publications What is the purpose of sport? Physical, cognitive, social, emotional benefits Competence and mastery #1033 – Early Talent Promotion Motivation and losing perspective Unconditional loveRelated links:
How To Keep Kids Motivated To Play SportDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 04 Aug 2024 - 1635 - #1047 - Playing To Win (and Losing the Plot)
There are times when a parent's relationship with their child feels strained and difficult. Kylie shares what it can look like to cultivate these challenging relationships, giving hope to any parent deep in the trenches of raising hard kids.
More often than not, when we lose the plot as adults, it is because of unmet expectations. A games night in the Coulson household did NOT meet Justin's expectations, leading to one very grumpy dad!
In this episode:
I'll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise - Maurine ReynoldsAdamek 5 star reviews - thank you! Cultivating relationships No Matter What Hope for the parent who thinks they can't keep going Resilience Family games night turns sour Expectations vs reality Unmet needs Bedtime Even the parenting expert gets parenting wrong Be where your feet areDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Thu, 01 Aug 2024 - 1634 - #1046 - A Very Peachy Book Club
Book Club - the episode where Justin and Kylie forget about the parenting stuff and share what they have been reading. Today, a book review from a very special guest: their 10-year-old daughter Emilie.
In this episode:
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt | Penguin Books (4.5 stars) Unplug Childhood - Join the village! The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien | Abbeys (5 stars) James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl | Dymocks (4.7 stars)Related links:
#980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt The Screens Issue Unplugging ParenthoodDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 31 Jul 2024 - 1633 - #1045 - The Art & Science of Family Meetings
Building strong, lasting family relationships is a long-term process. When done well, regular family meetings can completely change how your family feels and functions now and in the future
Justin and Kylie share six practical tips for family meetings that will help your family relationships flourish, ensuring that everyone feels seen, heard, and valued along the way.
In this episode:
Could family meetings help you get on better with your kids? Yes – but they can also go horribly wrong | The Conversation James Clear, author of Atomic Habits 5 year quote Not a time to air grievances or critique others Risk of family meetings Creating a vision Benefits when meeting is done well Frustration tolerance Learning social skills and emotional regulation Getting on the same pageRelated links:
Family Goal SettingDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 30 Jul 2024 - 1632 - #1044 - Q&A: Tearaway Toddlers & Staying in School
Bec, from Sydney, has a 2-year-old who keeps running towards the road when out at parks, playgrounds, and shops. Running away is developmentally normal: little kids love to explore. But it's also very scary! There are four things parents can do to keep their "runner" safe when out and about.
Karen, from Brisbane, asks how to navigate the ongoing challenge of school refusal. Ongoing conversations with both child and school are important when school attendance is a challenge. Dr Justin shares some questions to ask, and four ideas to increase engagement, competence, and confidence for your struggling student.
In this episode:
Developmental Milestones [Part 2: Toddlers] Curious, exploring, developmentally appropriate Hunt, Gather, Parent by Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff | Dymocks Ongoing conversations on safety Solutions to keep child safe Pros and cons of giving kids mental health days Problematic school avoidance Working with the school Three basic psychological needs Attaching education to child's goals Alternatives to schoolRelated links:
What To Do When Kids Won't Listen How To Help When School Sucks [Webinar] School Refusal #875 Failed at School, Successful at Life: Ian SteelDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Mon, 29 Jul 2024 - 1631 - #1043 - Forcing Kids to Apologise
Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like?
In this episode:
Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie” Victim mentality People pleasing Ruptured relationships The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic Theory of Mind Why do children apologise under coercion? Feeling seen, heard, and valued Repairing relationships Why don't kids want to apologise? 4 components of a sincere apologyRelated links:
Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry' Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 28 Jul 2024 - 1630 - #1042 - Work & Home School Life Balance
It has been 9 months of homeschooling for the Coulson crew, with plenty of ups and downs and many lessons learned. One of those lessons is that homeschool is not and cannot just be "school at home". When a child is struggling in a school setting, taking them out of that environment only to set up the same structures and lessons at home doesn't change the challenges that your child is experiencing!
In this episode:
Resilient Kids Conference - (recording available)
Help, hug, or space?
When school isn't working
Homeschooling is not school at home Letting go of expectations/perceptions Self-directed learning Autonomy Exercise - cycling, swimming Working from home Setting boundaries Steven Covey's "Big Rocks of Life" analogy The overwhelm of to-do listsRelated links:
Taking the Pressure Off School Refusal.
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Thu, 25 Jul 2024 - 1629 - #1041 - Screens Suck
Devices can calm our emotional children - but does a screen actually help them to emotionally regulate or is it just distracting them from their emotions in the heat of the moment? Are there long term consequences to letting screens "manage" a child's emotions?
We also talk about a controversial topic - using "screen-time" as a reward! There is an important connection between screen use and children's executive function and emotional regulation, and it's not good news!
In this episode:
Your words have power: @always.upper.elementary Toothpaste Words: The most important back to school lesson you can do Should we comment on someone's appearance? Cure for tantrums? Longitudinal associations between parental digital emotion regulation and children's self-regulatory skills Using devices as digital pacifiers Frustration tolerance Unplug Childhood: Join the village, sign the petition#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation
Tolerable discomfort
Resilience
Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use
Using screens as punishment or reward leads to higher screen use
Alfie Kohn, author of 'Punished by Rewards'
Positive/negative reinforcement The most important "app" for our childrenRelated links:
Unplugging Parenthood #137 Punishment & Rewards with Alfie KohnDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Wed, 24 Jul 2024 - 1628 - #1040 - Raising Good Humans With Beck Delahoy
Our goal as parents is to raise good humans, but sometimes we actually get in the way of doing that! Beck Delahoy shares three things parents can do to move away from centuries of unhelpful patterns to a better way of parenting.
In this episode:
Lessons Learned | Beck Delahoy | Substack John B. Watson - 1920's behaviourist What do we want to do as parents to raise good humans? teaching thoughts, values, feelings, acceptable behaviour History of parenting Long-term consequences of punishment/reward Calculation of Risks Blind Conformity Revolt Fostering acceptable behaviour Moral development Building emotional regulationRelated links:
The Secret to Regulating Emotions Punishment, Rewards, & Other Disciplinary Mistakes.
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Tue, 23 Jul 2024 - 1627 - #1039 - Q&A: Teacher Struggles & Home School Hacks
Two questions from listeners: Emma asks for advice on helping her 10 year old son who is struggling with being at school, withdrawing from friends, and feeling sad. And Kari, a homeschooling mum of 3 little boys, has requested an update on the Coulson's Homeschooling experience!
In this episode:
The 3 basic psychological needs Supporting children at school 'School Can't' Building frustration tolerance Attention amplifies discomfort Changing classroom or school Persistence and consistency Homeschooling update Euka Curriculum Autonomy-supportive structure Emotional regulation wins.
Related links:
The Secret to Regulating Emotions How to Help when School Sucks.
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Mon, 22 Jul 2024 - 1626 - #1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation
A conversation about what it means to be emotionally regulated or dysregulated, with five quick ideas for parents to help their children regulate well.
In this episode:
What are emotions? Maladaptive responses Etymology of 'emotion' French: to excite Latin: to move Emotional regulation: The ability to control your emotional state. Emotional dysregulation: When your emotions are stronger than your ability to act with autonomy. Amygdala triggers survival/fight/flight mode Spanish: Tengo hambre (I have hunger) Developmental realities Creating a safe and predictable environment Brené Brown on emotions #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers (Part 1) Homeschooling.
Related links:
The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library].
Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Sun, 21 Jul 2024 - 1625 - #1037 - Creating Holiday Traditions
Family holidays and traditions are important! Sometimes though, they can feel out of reach - perhaps unaffordable or even impossible. The good news is that traditions don't have to be big, or cost any money, and you don't even need to leave home to create them!
In this episode:
Why traditions matter Avoid big holidays with little kids Stick to pools/beaches when they are young What the research says Family meals, meetings, or games One-on-one time with children Marking milestones Hamish Blake's epic birthday cake tradition!.
Related links:
Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life.
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Thu, 18 Jul 2024 - 1624 - #1036 - From the Doctor's Desk: Screen Use Bad, Green Space Good
Are our attention spans decreasing? Is it possible that the kids really are listening to you but just disagree with what you have to say? Do house plants impact mental health and wellbeing? How does parental screen use affect teen screen use, and why should we avoid using punishments and rewards when it comes to screens? We unpack four studies that will help make your family happier and give you practical tips you can use today!
In this episode:
Are attention spans decreasing? Short-form videos Examining the Influence of Short Videos on Attention Span and its Relationship with Academic Performance Speaking of Psychology: Why our attention spans are shrinking, with Gloria Mark, PhD Not listening, or just not agreeing? Disagreement Gets Mistaken for Bad Listening Green space and mental health benefits The nature gaze: Eye-tracking experiment reveals well-being benefits derived from directing visual attention towards elements of nature Indoor / house plants Physiological Benefits of Viewing Nature: A Systematic Review of Indoor Experiments Parent screen use VS teen screen use Impact of screens at the dinner table and in bedrooms Screen time, video gaming, social media, mobile phone use Using punishments and rewards around screens leads to lousy outcomes Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use.
Related links:
The Screens Issue 7 Ways to Really Listen so Your Child Shares More How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [eBook].
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Wed, 17 Jul 2024 - 1623 - #1035 - Adolescent Anxiety With Dr Jodie Lowinger
Dr Jodie Lowinger is recognised as one of the world’s leading anxiety, mindset, and resilience experts. Jodie was a guest speaker in the groundbreaking Breaking Point Digital Conference and today we share a snapshot from her session on 'Girls and Mental Health'.
In this episode:
Sydney Anxiety Clinic - Psychologists Author of The Mind Strength Method: Four steps to curb anxiety, conquer worry and build resilienceThe prevalence of anxiety among adolescent girls
Anxiety is part of our human condition
Gender and anxiety Multidimensional factors contributing to adolescent anxiety: Biological (hormones, genetic predisposition) Environmental (social, psychological, technology/social media, FOMO, life experiences) Parents as therapists? Emotional intelligence Empowering parents with skills and tools to build emotional literacy The need for consistent language Parents, educators, therapists, child - getting on the same page! The power of relationship Parents want to fix things Undermining a child's capacity to build resilience.
Related links:
Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing Riding the Waves [The Course] A Grown Up's Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) #168 Emotional Intelligence with Marc Brackett.
Brand new Happy Families membership is NOW OPEN and on sale for 3 days!
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Tue, 16 Jul 2024 - 1622 - #1034 - Q&A: Making Siblings BFF's & Emotional Expression
Every Tuesday Dr Justin answers listener questions about making your family happier! Today we have questions about sibling friendships/conflict, and helping children learn emotional regulation.
Question 1: What can parents do to make their children best friends, and how can sibling conflict/rivalry be eliminated?
Question 2: How can we control our 11 year old son's emotions so that he doesn't get bullied or teased due to his consistent crying at school when things don't go his way?
In this episode:
Conflict in every relationship is normal Rupture and repair Four main characteristics of sibling relationships How can we get our kids to like one another? The 3 Es of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) Gender differences in expression of emotions Externalised vs internalised emotions Emotion-focused coping vs problem-focused coping Maladaptive/adaptive strategies Making emotions 'King' Podcast with Lisa Damour Part 1 & Part 2 The Secret to Regulating Emotions.
Related links:
10 Steps to Reducing Sibling Conflict Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library] Teaching Kids Kindness [ Webinar].
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Mon, 15 Jul 2024 - 1621 - #1033 - Early Talent Promotion
Are we doing more harm than good by pushing our children to excel early? The pursuit of excellence can feel rewarding for parents and children alike, but scientific evidence highlights the conflict between short-term gains and long-term success.
Today, we say a sad farewell to Craig Bruce as he concludes his remarkable tenure as Executive Producer of this podcast, and a heartfelt thank you from the entire Happy Families team for the extraordinary contributions Craig has made to Happy Families!
In this episode:
Pushing kids to succeed Acceleration programs for young children Effects of Early Talent Promotion on Junior and Senior Performance: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis Harmonious passion VS Obsessive passion Intrinsic motivation Gifted and talented children Happiness and wellbeing levels Finding healthy balance and having varied experiences No wasted knowledge in life.
Related links:
How Much Sport is Too Much for our Kids? Going to High-Achieving Schools is Potentially Bad for Your Kids.
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Sun, 14 Jul 2024 - 1620 - #1032 - Stop and Smell the Flowers
It's normal and natural for young children to want to take their time exploring the world around them, and it's also normal for parents to want to get things done quickly! Could it be possible to do both? Can we slow down and be more productive at the same time?
There are practical and simple solutions that will help you to maintain the fun, build relationships, AND be productive—all while slowing life down for your child!
Rushing our children through tasks Competition Developmental and gender reality Mum guilt Emotional regulation Solutions Introducing routine & structure Transitions Wiggle room or wriggle room? Breathing techniques(R) This episode originally aired 27/6/23.
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Related links:
Developmental Milestones Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast #27: How to Implement a Routine Without Being Rigid.
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Thu, 11 Jul 2024 - 1619 - #1031 - 7 People of Highly Effective Villages
It takes a village to raise a family. Community-oriented relationships are so important for the well being of our children and for us as parents, but building them takes time, involvement, and effort. How can we create a village when we are time-poor parents, and where do we even start to find this supportive community?
Building a safe neighbourhood Teachers Friendships - in and out of school Community leaders, coaches Medical professionals Surrogate Aunts & Uncles Surrogate Grandparents(R) This episode originally aired 7/8/23.
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Wed, 10 Jul 2024 - 1618 - #1030 - Name It & Tame It
Justin and Kylie respond to a listener question about emotional volcanoes
Name it to tame it Emotional regulation High emotions – low intelligence Tunnel vision/rigid thinking Seen, heard & valued(R) This episode originally aired 15/8/23.
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Related links:
Emotion Coaching [The Webinar] The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotional Intelligence.
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Tue, 09 Jul 2024 - 1617 - #1029 - What's My Age Again?
It's a question parents ask time and time again: What is the right age for my kids to do [insert risk]?
Justin and Kylie look at a number of hot topics and discuss the appropriate/legal age for children to be allowed to do each of these.
Staying at home alone The laws in QLD Putting in place contingency plans Mobile phones, school devices, burner phones Kids need smart parents, not smart phones Smart parents give their kids dumb phones (Unplug Childhood) Boyfriends & girlfriends #816 Tween Relationships: How Young is Too Young? Sleepovers Walking to school or the shops alone Ear piercing(R) This episode originally aired 28/8/23.
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Related links:
Everyone Else Can Do It! Why Can’t I? Movies and Kids: When Is It Okay For Them To Watch That? Should our Young Children have Boyfriends or Girlfriends at School? When is it OK to Leave your Child Home Alone? Are Sleepovers OK?.
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Mon, 08 Jul 2024 - 1616 - #1028 - Getting on the Same Page
Is there tension and disagreement in your home when it comes to parenting? You are not alone! The most commonly asked question we receive is "How do you get on the same page in parenting?" We share three simple questions that can help to create alignment in your parenting-relationship, and make your family happier.
(R) This episode originally aired 5/9/23.
In this episode:
Weekly couple’s meeting Three questions to ask Creating the space Daily habits Getting your systems right Finances, goals, holidays Creating alignment Parenting on the Same Page – A Happy Families webinar.
Related links:
Same Page Parenting [Article] What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Purchase the Smells Like Teen Spirit Summit.
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Sun, 07 Jul 2024 - 1615 - #1027 - 6 Phrases You Should Say to Your Kids
When our children are experiencing challenges or behaving in a challenging way, there are things we can do and say that will help them get through these rough times and transform our relationship with them in the process. We would love to hear the phrases you say to your children - record a voice memo here or email your recording to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au.
(R) This episode originally aired 30/5/22.
In this episode:
The magic of an apology Correction and direction vs connection The power of 'yet' People matter, things don't You’ve gotta love the hills Unconditional love.
Related links:
Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing How to ‘Fix’ a Problem Child.
Purchase the webinar The Screaming Spiral or log in to your HF membership library to view
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Thu, 04 Jul 2024 - 1614 - #1026 - Growing Growing, Not Gone
It can be easy to forget who we were before becoming parents. But that’s part of the beauty of parenthood! Being a parent allows us to experience personal growth as we tap into new strengths and creativity. We get to make intentional choices about who we will become, and to change the trajectory of our lives. Why then do we often think that we're boring now that we’re parents?
(R) This episode originally aired 13/10/22.
In this episode:
Kylie’s friend who feels lost after becoming a mum "I'm so boring!" Ideas for creativity through those hard years when you feel exhausted Why we keep growing all throughout life Finding joy in the mundane Missing life before kids Dan Gilbert: The psychology of your future self | TED.
Related links:
How Being a Mum Can Pump Up Your Résumé Life Lessons Every Child (And Adult) Can Learn.
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Wed, 03 Jul 2024 - 1613 - #1025 - Dan Pink: The Power of Regret
Regret is often seen as a negative emotion to be avoided, but what if it holds the key to better parenting? Dr Justin Coulson and author Dan Pink uncover the surprising ways regret can teach us valuable lessons, helping us to be kinder, more thoughtful parents, and ultimately, better people.
(R) This episode originally aired 2/11/22.
Topics included in this episode –
The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink Why do people say that they don’t have regrets? Your regrets say a lot about you as a person Your regrets can inform your future decisions Reframing regret Inward, outward, forward “At-least”ing and “if-only”ing Dan’s advice for time poor parents Normalising the emotion of regret Talk to your kids about your regrets Dan shares some of his regrets.
Related links:
Learn more about Dan Pink & his books #570 Do Over - What Would You Change If You Could?.
Last chance to register for the Supporting Autistic Children course
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Tue, 02 Jul 2024 - 1612 - #1024 - Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
A listener has asked, “Should we tell our kids they are beautiful?”
It's ok to tell our kids they're beautiful, but we must ensure their sense of worth isn't solely tied to their looks. Focusing too much on appearance can make children rely on external validation and set them up to have a limited view of themselves. We share some helpful ways that you can encourage your child so they know they are enough, exactly as they are.
(R) This episode originally aired 16/8/22.
In today’s episode:
Should we tell our kids that they’re beautiful? Renee Engeln – Beauty Sick Justin shares some ideas from his book Miss-Connection Teach your daughters media literacy Try to not comment on appearance when you bump into a friend Focus on your child’s inner strengths/beauty, personality, values “Instead of watching what goes into our kid’s mouths, we should watch what comes out of ours.” – James Corden.
Related links:
Pixel Perfect [Webinar] Watch Your Words [Article] Am I Not Pretty Enough? [Article] #126 Why Your Daughter Doesn't Need Another Mirror In Her Life (Featuring Dr Renee Engeln).
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Mon, 01 Jul 2024 - 1611 - #1023 - 10 Fights Worth Having
It is not worth going to war with your child over their preferences. There are going to be more important issues that will require you to stand your ground. These moments can end in a full-blown battle with your child, or by reframing the conversation, you can work through these tough issues, avoiding conflict while still keeping your kids healthy and safe. Listen in to find out how!
(R) This episode originally aired 6/6/22.
Topics discussed in today’s podcast:
Common fights parents have with children Sleeping, eating Friends, parties, sleepovers Social media, alcohol & drugs, intimacy, pornography, dress Conflict is normal Is your child's safety at risk? Control and power struggles Conversations without conflict Justin’s ladder metaphor Prioritising relationship Preferences vs. principles.
Related links:
Winning the “Gaming” Battle with our Boys – and Taking our Parenting to the Next Level Eat Right Without a Fight [eBook] Should We be Giving our Teens Alcohol? Whose House Rules?.
Register for the Supporting Autistic Children course with Dr Joey Lawrence and Dr Justin Coulson. Doors close July 8.
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Sun, 30 Jun 2024 - 1610 - #1022 - The Pursuit of Happiness
Are parents really responsible for their kids’ happiness? Doing things purely to make our children happy often results in disappointment—for them and for us. Instead of trying to satisfy our children's insatiable craving for happiness, we share four things to teach them that will help build happiness as a by-product rather than an end in and of itself.
(R) This episode originally aired 1/8/22.
In this episode:
Myth – It’s our job to make our kids happy Things that could go wrong if you think it’s your job to make your kids happy Setting our kids up to fail What ARE we responsible for? Emotion coaching Do hard things Building positive relationships.
Related links:
Hopeful Kids Are Happy Kids Helping Our Kids Feel Good By Doing Good Purchase Better Together on the Happy Families website – Because a happy family doesn’t just happen..
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Thu, 27 Jun 2024 - 1609 - #1021 - Parenting Myths Pt 3
Many myths surround parenting, including the misguided beliefs that you can maintain your pre-child lifestyle or that you will instantly connect with your baby or even that teenagers are stupid. Discover why these and other common misconceptions need to be debunked.
(R) This episode originally aired 28/7/22.
In today’s episode:
Babies are intense! Feeding/sleeping challenges Pre-child life and routine Motherhood can be all encompassing Accepting limitations and boundaries that come with children Dads bonding with baby Birth experience can affect connection Emergency caesarean, postnatal depression Connection can take time, may require interventional help Challenging kids The teenage brain.
Related links:
Pixel Perfect [Webinar] The Teenage Brain [Webinar] Top Seven Tips for New Dads to Boost Wellbeing 13 Reasons why Teenagers are GREAT!.
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Wed, 26 Jun 2024 - 1608 - #1020 - James Anderson: How to Create Skilful Learners
How can we help our children become better learners? When learning is seen as a process of creating abilities rather than discovering abilities, children can embrace challenges as opportunities for growth instead of avoiding them due to fear of failure.
James Anderson and Justin Coulson explore how parents can help children leave their comfort zone and step into their learning zone, to understand that struggle and discomfort are natural and temporary parts of the learning journey and that investing effort results in hard things becoming easy. (R)
This episode originally aired 27/7/22.
In today’s episode:
#529 The Growth Mindset with James Anderson Learnership Mindset – fixed vs growth. Lifelong learners, performance learners, non-learners Finding and following your strengths Choosing what you want to become Learning zones Comfort zone – easy things you haven’t done yet You don't get better by doing your best Effort is the cost of growth That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Related links:
Learn more about James Anderson – LEARNERSHIP: The Skill Of Learning The Most Powerful Words We Can Say to Our Children.
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Tue, 25 Jun 2024 - 1607 - #1019 - Parenting Myths Part 2
Myth: "Parents cannot be friends with their child."
Relationships that are based on trust, appropriate disclosure, and respect are still friendships, regardless of whether they are egalitarian or not. Our children need these kinds of relationships with us. But there are limits to this friendship. Justin & Kylie examine the nature of parent-child friendships and how this relationship morphs and grows over time from the early years right up to adulthood.
In this episode:
Can you be friends with your kids? Parent before friend What our children need from us Mistakes parents make when trying to be their child's friend Permissive parenting Can you tell whether someone is a good parent by how good their kids turn out? High level of control can lead to rebellious children At what point is a child a good person? Mental health and wellbeing, special needs Challenging behaviours Judging parents on a child's behaviour Children make their own choices Be the best parent you can be.
Related links:
Anxiety In Your Child [Webinar - free for HF members] I Am Not Your Friend. I Am Your Parent How to Fix a Problem Child.
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Mon, 24 Jun 2024 - 1606 - #1018 - Parenting Myths Part 1
Are you tired of feeling like your worth as a parent hinges on your child's achievements? In today's podcast, we debunk common parenting myths and explore why it's unhealthy to measure your parenting success by your child's performance.
We discuss the importance of self-care, the balance between personal needs and parental duties, and the critical role of maintaining a strong relationship with your spouse for a thriving family life.
(R) This episode originally aired 25/7/22.
In this episode:
Each child brings a new parenting challenge Parenting teaches you a lot about yourself How do we measure our success as a parent? Balancing the needs of children with self-care Prioritising your relationship with partner/spouse What does it mean to be a good parent?.
Related links:
Dadding Done Right [Webinar] Self Care Strategies That Really Work We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing Having Parents in Love Is Great for Your Kids.
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Sun, 23 Jun 2024 - 1605 - #1017 - Life Lessons From Laundry
Justin is on a mission to use his phone less. Find out what he has done this week that has been a freeing (albeit slightly inconvenient) experience.
In response to last week's episode 'Mum Break', a lot of women are saying they could never leave the kids and go away for a week! Kylie and Justin discuss why this is the case and what can be done to support and encourage mums to take some time out for themselves.
In this episode:
Unplug Childhood Deleting apps from devices Dropping social media The never ending laundry cycle A shout out to all the extraordinary single parents listening! "Mum breaks" - why they aren't happening more The 'martyr syndrome' of motherhood Dads need to step up.
Related links:
#100 Managing Bedtime as a Solo Parent 10 Reasons You’re Doing Better as a Parent Than You Think What Dad Can Do for Mum’s Wellbeing.
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Thu, 20 Jun 2024 - 1604 - #1016 - From The Doctor's Desk: Touch Good, Anger Bad
We unpack the latest science for parents with three fascinating studies this week: the positive outcomes that come from connecting online, the power of touch and how it has the capacity to ease pain, anxiety, and depression, and how anger is worse for us than we thought.
In this episode:
A Multiverse Analysis of the Associations Between Internet Use and Well-Being by Matti Vuorre and Andrew K. Przybylski Internet connection and wellbeing Brain development Getting the balance right The power of touch Vagus nerve and Karen Young A systematic review and multivariate meta-analysis of the physical and mental health benefits of touch interventions Stress hormones damage us Anger Does a Lot More Damage to Your Body Than You Realize Anger Kills, by Dr Redford Williams Anger is normal Stephen Covey - the space between stimulus and response.
Related links:
Why Getting Angry Doesn't Work #553 All The Rage: Taming Parental Anger.
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Wed, 19 Jun 2024 - 1603 - #1015 - Beck Delahoy Says Raising Kids is Easy
Beck Delahoy explores the paradox of modern parenting: while raising children has never been easier thanks to advancements in health, education, and living standards, parenting itself has become increasingly challenging. However, with these advancements, a "slow life strategy" has emerged, leading to intensive parenting practices doing more harm than good. It’s time to ease up on the intensive parenting and embrace a simpler, more fulfilling approach to raising children.
In this episode:
Beck Delahoy's 'Lessons Learned' Parenting Substack Life expectancy's pre 1900s Why raising children into adulthood has never been easier The 'slow life strategey' Intensive parenting Parenting is harder Time to lower the parenting bar.
Related links:
What Your Child Needs From You [Webinar].
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Tue, 18 Jun 2024 - 1602 - #1014 - The Peace Keeper & The People Pleaser
Conflict is a normal, natural part of every healthy relationship, but sometimes our children can become fearful and anxious when parents argue. You can have more productive arguments and model healthy conflict resolution by focusing on the quality of the interaction—the regulation—rather than the resolution itself.
Brittany asks, "How do you teach empathy without creating a people-pleaser?"
We want our children to be helpful, kind, and considerate of others, but not at the expense of their own wellbeing or with unhealthy levels of self-sacrifice. There are three things you can teach your child to prevent them from becoming people-pleasers.
In this episode:
When children become concerned and try to keep the peace between parents Be attentive to your child's worries Is it ever ok to argue in front of the kids? Examples of unhealthy conflict Respectful, productive conflict How to focus on regulation over resolution (4 things to model) John Gottman, Esther Perez People-pleasing VS empathy, consideration of others Where does your child get their value or sense of identity from?.
Related links:
#523 Should We Argue In Front Of The Kids?.
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Mon, 17 Jun 2024 - 1601 - #1013 - Are Emotions Too Important?
When we make feelings “King”, our children can become stuck in their emotion, unable to regulate or move forward. Justin shares the right way to respond to feelings, helping them understand, process, and then move through their emotional state.
In this episode:
Revolutionary change in how parents respond to emotions Impact of TikTok parenting influencers Validating emotions Feeling seen, heard, valued Ways to regulate and tame emotions Parent or therapist? #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 1 #827 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 2 #976 Abigail Shrier's Bad Therapy How to help your child process their emotion and move on from it.
Related links:
The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents, by Lisa Damour The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [Webinar] Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit].
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Sun, 16 Jun 2024 - 1600 - #1012 - A Mum's Break
Kylie is away on a kid-free adventure with a friend...and loving it! Has Justin been surviving without her? Listen in to hear the challenges, the fun, and the lessons they are both experiencing during this extended time apart.
In this episode:
A girls week away Friendships Pressures of family life Importance of stability and routine.
Related links:
Overwhelm [webinar] 18 Ways to Increase Your Happiness.
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Thu, 13 Jun 2024 - 1599 - #1011 - This Week in Parenting: Smacking & Socials
This Week In Parenting: why Australian parents are more open to smacking children than other countries, and how we can reduce peer pressure for kids and for parents by joining forces and creating community.
In this episode:
Smacking and corporal punishment Australian parents most open to smacking kids in international study | 9News The Parenting Revolution Can Australia make age verification work for social media? | The Guardian Momentum is building! 36 Months - sign the petition Let kids be kids - have a play-based childhood Peer pressure for kids and for parents too Unplug Childhood - join the village & take the pledge.
Related links:
#454 Online Safety with Julie Inman Grant from the e-Safety Commission Why It's Not Ok To Smack Your Kids - a great list of resources for what to do instead.
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Wed, 12 Jun 2024 - 1598 - #1010 - The Behaviour Curriculum With Susie O'Brien
Journalist and author Susie O'Brien chats with Justin about the current situation in schools regarding student behaviour and classroom management, with a recent senate inquiry suggesting that it's time to go back to basics and teach children how to behave at school.
In this episode:
A Senate Inquiry is Calling For a New 'Behaviour Curriculum' to Tackle Classroom Disruptions | Monash University Getting back to basics with classroom behaviour Explicit Teaching Push in New Behaviour Curriculum | Education Review What do teachers want? Lack of support from principals and parents Regressive or progressive?Related links:
The Calm Classroom [Webinar] One-Minute Wellbeing: 50 Quick Tips for Educators [Free Download] Boys, Girls, Brains, & Behaviour in the ClassroomSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Tue, 11 Jun 2024 - 1597 - #1009 ADHD in Adults & Toddlers
Three-year-olds are exhausting! Energetic, emotionally reactive, and uninhibited—all the things that can make a parent begin to question if their child has ADHD! Today, Dr Justin looks at the developmentally normal behaviours of a three-year-old and shares four things they need in order to learn, grow, and thrive.
Plus, three tips for neurodivergent parents trying to hold it all together while navigating the chaos of family life and struggling with their own ADHD.
In this episode:
ADHD, ODD, or just three? Developmental Milestones - Preschoolers Little People, Big Feelings (Webinar) What Your Child Needs From You Why saying "use your words" isn't helpful Theory of mind Diagnosing ADHD What 3-year-olds need Neurodivergent parents Challenges of ADHD as an adult Help For the ADHD Parent - from the Happy Families team.
Related links:
Parenting an ADHD Child Women in Australia with ADHD - FB support group ADHD Mums - Australian resource and podcast.
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Mon, 10 Jun 2024 - 1596 - #1008 - Family Dinner Deep Dive
Are you overthinking family meals? Do you want a little more peace and a lot less chaos at the dinner table? How can a family dinner fit in amongst work commitments and extra-curricular activities? We take a look at the research behind what was once considered the norm - family dinners, and share some tips to ease the pressure.
In this episode:
San Remo market research Chaos of mealtimes YOYO (You're On Your Own) night Screens and mealtimes Extra-curricular activities for kids AND parents are impacting family meals 5 tips to ease the pressure Are we overthinking family meals? 5 realistic tips to ease the pressure | The Conversation Rituals of connectionRelated links:
Eat Right Without a Fight - E-Book How do I Get My Child to Eat Healthy Food Without the Power Struggles? How to Banish Tech and Make Mealtimes Matter Menu Planner [Free Download].
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Sun, 09 Jun 2024 - 1595 - #1007 - Let's Unplug Childhood
We know that giving children access to social media and devices is not in their best interests. Our children deserve—and need—a play-based childhood. Join the village today and “Unplug Childhood” with us!
In this episode:
"It was the damn phones" by Kori Jane | Instagram
The “Unplug Childhood” movement
Make some noise and get on board! Why this matters No social media before age 13 Give kids a play-based childhood Make the pledgetodayRelated links:
Our Phones Are Wrecking Us Kids Need Smart Parents Not Smart Phones.
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Thu, 06 Jun 2024 - 1594 - #1006 - Book Club: Why is Kylie Reading Kid's Books?
In between homeschooling, 7 seasons of House, and a lot of travel, Justin and Kylie still managed to do some reading this month. Listen in to hear reviews of a classic children's book, a terrifying, heartbreaking YA novel, a disappointing flop filled with falsehoods, a warts and all memoir, and a contender for book of the year!
Kylie's books:
This Is Where it Ends, by Marieke Nijkamp 4.5/5 Charlotte’s Web, by E.B White 5/5Justin's books:
Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up, by Abigail Shrier 3/5 Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class, by Rob Henderson 5/5 Time to Think: The Inside Story of the Collapse of the Tavistock's Gender Service for Children, by Hannah Barnes 75/5.
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Wed, 05 Jun 2024 - 1593 - #1005 - 2 Books on Neurodivergence That You Must Read
Life can be really challenging for neurodivergent kids growing up in a world where they don't seem to fit in. Justin speaks with two authors about their fabulous books, and why representation in literature is so important for our children.
Square Me, Round World by Chelsea Luker is a collection of short stories describing what life can feel like when you are a person growing up in a world not built for you and Wonderfully Wired by Stacey Lucas-Toumbourou celebrates the strengths and differences of 100 neurodivergent individuals who changed the world
In this episode:
Square Me, Round World, by Chelsea Luker | Booktopia The importance of representation Raising neurodivergent children Wonderfully Wired, by Stacey Lucas-ToumbourouRelated links:
Championing Neurodiversity: Helping Your Child Thrive in a Neurotypical World [Webinar] 'Supporting Autistic Children: Nurturing Neurodiversity' with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child 7 Insights for Parents of Autistic Children | Chris BonnelloSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Tue, 04 Jun 2024 - 1592 - #1004 Ditching Screens as a Grown Up
Screen struggles are something that every family is dealing with - and not just with the kids! We share some small changes you can make to help you find a healthier and more balanced relationship with your phone.
Does it feel like your child knows exactly which buttons to push to trigger you? News flash: YOU are the only one that can choose how YOU respond! Learn how to increase your competence (and confidence!) in holding personal boundaries and regulating your own emotions, and watch your relationship with your child improve in the process.
In this episode:
We Are Social 2023 Digital Report How to turn your phone screen to grayscale Parental triggers Neurodiversity Setting and respecting boundaries The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey You choose your response Parenting competence Building relationshipsRelated links:
#565 Pushing Our Buttons Why Our Kids Need Us to Set Limits How To Be Less Tired #379 How I Work with Amantha Imber #240 Phones & Family Life with Dr Kathryn ModeckiSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Mon, 03 Jun 2024 - 1591 - #1003 When the 3 E's Don't Work
Dr Justin’s 3 E’s (explore, explain, and empower) are the pillars of autonomy-supportive parenting. But there are times when they just do not work (we are all only flawed humans after all!). Today's tips will help you calmly and confidently navigate through the heat of these challenging moments.
In this episode:
The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Self-determination theory Basic psychological needs of every human Relatedness, competence, autonomy Need-supportive parenting High emotions = low intelligence Being ok with our children's discomfort Patience and practice Fast is slow, and slow is fast Neurodiversity Turn towards your child in challenging timesRelated links:
The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson The Secret to Regulating Emotions How to Fix a Problem Child Little People, Big Feelings [The Free Webinar]Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Sun, 02 Jun 2024 - 1590 - #1002 Why Kylie Loves Snapchat
Connecting with your teenager on their terms gives you the opportunity to engage with their world in a meaningful way. Being on the same digital platforms as your child allows for greater understanding, better conversations, and stronger connections, keeping them safe along the way.
In this episode:
Connection - feeling seen, heard, and valued The joy of Snapchat filters Understanding our teenager's world Doing housework with your child Daddy-daughter datesRelated links:
Miss-Connection 7 Day Connection Challenge [Free Download] Miss-Connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter “Hates” You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk, by Dr Justin Coulson You Did WHAT on Snapchat?! Settle Down About SelfiesSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Thu, 30 May 2024 - 1589 - #1001 Gentle Parenting Under Fire
'Gentle Parenting' is a mindset with an emphasis on the child’s feelings. It may sound lovely and calm, but in reality, this "way of being" has a tendency to indulge emotions at the expense of effective family functioning, leaving parents feeling like they are hanging on for dear life—exhausted, incompetent, and emotionally drained!
Justin and Kylie share four essential steps for parenting gently in a way that ensures our children feel safe, secure, and loved.
In this episode:
Defining "gentle parenting" Parental Guidance Season 1 Different parenting styles Gentle parenting the polar opposite of authoritarian“The Rise of the Accidentally Permissive Parent
Anne Pezalla – Gentle Parenting Can Be Really Hard On Parents | The Conversation John Gottman - Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child Emotion coaching gone wrong Indulging emotions at the expense of all else Autonomy-supportive parenting Kind and present parents Boundaries and limitsRelated links:
Emotion Coaching | The Webinar The Secret to Regulating Emotions What’s Your Parenting Style? - Happy Families QuizSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Wed, 29 May 2024 - 1588 - #1000 Reflecting on 1000 Episodes!
Reflecting on 1000 episodes of Australia’s leading parenting podcast, we cover the highs and the lows of family life, from farewells to celebrations and everything in-between.
Today’s episode is a celebration of Kylie's big heart, Justin's big brain, the best of some really bad jokes, and of course, you, our wonderful listeners—our Happy Families family!
(With a special appearance from Hamish Blake!)
Related links:
#282 Better Together #562 The Pursuit of Happiness #853 Developing Yourself or Finding Yourself? 10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know - Happy Families.
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Tue, 28 May 2024 - 1587 - #999 When Dad Isn't There & School Bus Stress
Anonymous asks, "My 3-year-old is asking questions about his absent father. How do I answer in a way that supports my young son's mental health and self-esteem?". Justin gives examples of a healthy and developmentally appropriate response to this difficult situation in a way that honours the father, supports the child, and also advocates for our anonymous listener.
Lisa, from Canada, is concerned that catching the school bus will potentially expose her 11-year-old daughter to explicit material. Justin shares some suggestions that will help every parent safely lead their child along the path to independence.
In this episode:
Single parent Absent father Mental health Answering sensitive questions age appropriately Honesty and transparency Children need to feel safe, secure, loved Building independence, confidence & self-efficacy Cocooning, pre-arming, deference The Three E's (Explore, Explain, Empower).
Related links:
How Do I Support My Daughter Now That I'm Divorcing? - Happy Families Pornography Is The New Public Health Crisis - Happy Families #898 Porn-Proofing Your Kids, with Kristen Jenson Creating Confident Kids - Happy Families Navigating Your Teen's Quest For Independence - Happy Families.
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Mon, 27 May 2024 - 1586 - #998 Social Media Shutdown
There is a growing movement to commit to giving our primary-aged children unplugged childhoods! Dr Justin shares four things you can do NOW to give your children a play-based childhood, free from digital distractions and social media.
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In this episode:
How would an enforcement even work? Censorship Age-verification for social media Importance of holding platforms accountable A movement to keep smartphones and social media out of primary school Unplugged childhood Kids need smart parents not smart phonesRelated links:
Tech Giants Are Anti-Kids - Happy Families #991 This Week In Parenting: Vape Zones, Baby Bans, & Nicotine Pouches How Do I Get My Daughter To Drop Social Media And Study For Exams? - Happy Families Social media has the “exact same negative effect on depression” as eating potatoes | QuartzSubscribe to the Happy Families newsletter
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Sun, 26 May 2024 - 1585 - #997 A Dog's Life
Justin reads a personal letter aloud to his children, sharing insights into what life was like for him growing up.
In this episode:
Sharing childhood memories with your kids Pets Give your child roots Benefits to keeping a journal Rituals of connection To a child, love is spelled T.I.M.E.
Related links:
5 Ways to Promote Happiness in Your Family - Happy Families Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing - Happy Families Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life - Happy Families Miss-Connection | 7 Day Connection Challenge.
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Thu, 23 May 2024 - 1584 - #996 From the Doctor's Desk - Weight Stigma & Baby Language
Study 1: Is your child feeling unhappy, pressured, or teased about their weight? Navigating growing up in a society so focused on physical appearance is difficult, but there are practical steps parents can take to decrease the risk of internalised stigma and other challenges around weight.
Study 2: So, you think you can read a baby's cry? Think again!
Study 3: The secret to getting your teen to listen to you can be found in the very foundation of what Dr Justin teaches in The Parenting Revolution!
In this episode:
Teasing children about weight increases risk of self-stigma as adults, study finds | The Guardian Weight stigma - what is it? Internalised incompetence and low sense of self-worth Babies’ cries alone don’t convey what they want | The British Psychological Society Dunstan Baby LanguageThe secret to getting your teen to listen to you | The British Psychological Society
Autonomy support Unsolicited advice from parents How to talk to teens about hard stuffRelated links:
9 Strategies for Soothing A Crying Baby - Happy Families #957 Diet Free Families with Meg McClintock - Happy Families 5 Ways To Nurture Positive Relationships With Food and Body For Your Kids - Happy Families The Parenting Revolution (The Course) Normally $149, FREE when you purchase The Parenting Revolution [The Book]Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter.
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Wed, 22 May 2024 - 1583 - #995 Why Ratings Matter With Liz Handsley
Most families have screens in their home, which means a steady stream of movies, TV shows, games, apps, and more! How can parents know what content is or isn't appropriate for our children, when ratings are so broad and arbitrary?
In today's interview with Prof. Elizabeth Handsley, President of CMA, we explore why it is so hard for parents to navigate the current classification system, and share some helpful resources and advice to minimise the risk that our children will be exposed to inappropriate content.
In this episode:
Children and Media Australia - supporting children and families to thrive in the expanding world of screen media Ratings and classifications Movies, apps, games, Inquiry into the Australian Classification Scheme Aged-based and research-based information Dose-response relationship to media Children become desensitised to contentRelated links:
Movies and Kids: When Is It Ok For Them To Watch That? - Happy Families Everyone Else Can Do It! Why Can't I? - Happy Families Common Sense Media - Age-Based Media Reviews For FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Tue, 21 May 2024 - 1582 - #994 Resetting Sibling Dynamics
On Tuesdays, we answer listener questions about making your family happier!
Separation anxiety at school drop-off is a daily struggle for many families, including Kirsty and her 5-year-old son. Justin shares some helpful tips that will make saying goodbye easier for both the parent and child.
Mum of 3, Michala, is dealing with constant sibling rivalry and conflict. Listen in for some important, ongoing conversations to have with your children as you help to build their character, and teach empathy and kindness.
In this episode:
Sibling rivalry, conflict, and strife Building character Teaching compassion and empathy Repairing relationship ruptures Separation anxiety Emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) Making mornings calm Validating emotions Basic psychological needs Strong parent-school partnership FlexibilityRelated links:
10 Steps to Reducing Sibling Conflict - Happy Families Teaching Kids Kindness - a Happy Families webinar School Refusal - Happy Families Developmental Milestones | Preschool - Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Mon, 20 May 2024 - 1581 - #993 Schoolyard Misogyny with Stephanie Westcott
Andrew Tate's harmful ideology is infiltrating schools. Boys, broadly speaking, are big fans, and their behaviour in the classroom is reflecting this.
Dr Stephanie Westcott (researcher and lecturer in the School of Education, Culture, and Society at Monash University) shares her research on the experiences women are having in educational settings across Australia, looking at the influence of misogynistic ideology, how algorithms on TikTok and Youtube direct young boys to these ideas, and what parents, carers, and educators can do to combat the rise of these radicalised masculine myths.
In this episode:
Andrew Tate Misogyny infiltrating classrooms Harmful ideology influencing young boys Andrew Tate’s extreme views about women are infiltrating Australian schools. We need a zero-tolerance response, Westcott & Roberts | The ConversationExperiences women are having in educational contexts
Behaviours of boys in the classroom
Framing boys and men as victims Radicalisation of masculinity Andrew Tate Effect in Australian Classrooms | ABC News What it means to be a real man Algorithms on social media are showing young boys very specific content Respectful relationships education Zero toleranceRelated links:
#694 Responding to the Hate from Andrew Tate - Happy Families Podcast Helping Our Boys Grow Into Men - Happy Families Can We Please Talk About Boys? - A FREE Happy Families WebinarLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Sun, 19 May 2024 - 1580 - #992 Pillow Fights & Dishy Decibels
Justin's singing turned complaints about dishes into a whole lot of fun, with sound levels hitting dangerous decibel levels!
Term 2 of homeschooling started off rather rocky for The Coulsons, but thinking outside the box created an opportunity for a reluctant writer to be creative and expressive in a new way!
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Thu, 16 May 2024 - 1579 - #991 This Week in Parenting: Vape Zones, Baby Bans & Nicotine Pouches
There's a brand new nicotine product out, so invisible you may not even be aware your child has it! Plus, the dangers of vaping, a nation-leading move by SA to protect our children from social media, and 118 reasons to be child-free.
In this episode:
Bluey 'The Sign' - a missed opportunity? Advocate pushes for vaping areas in schools as NSW holds inquiry into vape laws | news.com.au Harm-reduction policy regarding vaping #498 Children and Vaping, with Lisa Damour - Happy Families Vaping is a 'young person' phenomenon in Australia | Pursuit, Uni of Melb A new nicotine product that tastes and smells great - known as zyns, snus or little lip pillows ‘Invisible threat’: Nicotine pouches taking over schools | news.com.au Should social media be banned for children? How should you approach your children's and teenagers' social media use? | abc.net.au Parents in defensive mode Australian model Ellie Gonsalves shared 118 reasons to be childfree | ABCRelated links:
Pots, Pills, & Parenting: A Masterclass with Paul Dillon and Dr Justin Coulson - Happy Families 4 P’s to Prevent Peer Pressure in your Teens - Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Wed, 15 May 2024 - 1578 - #990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne Hollonds
Anne Hollonds was the opening speaker at the Breaking Point Digital Conference. On the podcast today you will hear an excerpt from Anne's presentation, discussing the mental health of young people around the country and what we can do to help them.
In this episode:
Anne Hollonds - National Children’s Commissioner. Young people and mental healthResidual effects of Covid pandemic
Barriers to accessing mental health support for young people
Strong therapeutic alliance = better outcomes
Breaking Point Digital Conference: Unpacking the Crisis in Youth Mental Health
Related links:
Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing - Happy Families We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing Screen Time and Our Teens’ Mental Health Crisis - Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Tue, 14 May 2024 - 1577 - #989 Winning at All Costs
Today, Justin is answering two listeners' questions.
First up is Bridget from Victoria, a mum of two. Her question is about her five-year-old son, whose over-competitiveness and inability to handle losing are causing issues in the family and in his wider circle of friends.
Becky, a single mum from Melbourne, is looking for ways she can implement rules and boundaries that won't lead to anxiety-fuelled and explosive reactions from her son, who has autism and OCD.
Helpful links:
Winning Or Losing: How To Handle A Bad Sport – Happy Families #78 Boundaries and the Three E’s – Happy Families 3 Pillars of Practically Perfect Parenting – Happy Families Connection – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Mon, 13 May 2024 - 1576 - #988 School Can't
Do you have a child who refuses to or is unable to go to school?
Sydney mum Alice joins Justin on the Happy Families podcast today to share the day-to-day pressure of trying to help a child get to school when emotions are high and nervous systems are in fight or flight mode.
If you are deep in the trenches of ‘school can’t’, this is a not-to-be-missed conversation, with some beautiful advice and encouragement to parents who are feeling stressed, judged, and alone in their struggle to get a child to school.
In this episode:
Emotionally-based school avoidance (EBSA) Reasons for 'school can't' School Can't Australia (Parent/Carer Peer Support) | Facebook Neurodivergence (Autism, ADHD) Importance of friendships Pressure on parents, judgement Homeschooling Mental health of parents Moving schools "Is it just me? Am I the only one who can't get their kid to go to school?" School refusal and the Australian families gripped by blame, shame, and the fear of a lost education - ABC NewsRelated links:
School Refusal – Happy Families #533 Emotion Based School Avoidance aka School Refusal – Happy Families A Grown Up’s Guide to Worry Stacking – Happy Families Resilience: Developing Strength, Calm, & Kindness in Our Kids – Happy Families We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing – Happy Families Moving? How to Help your Child Settle Into A New School – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Sun, 12 May 2024 - 1575 - #987 Mummy Daughter BFF's
An encouragement to any parent feeling like they are stuck in a rut with a child determined to be horrible and difficult - there is hope! The relationship with your child changes as they age into adulthood and can become a delightful and close friendship.
In this episode:
Changing parent/child relationships during the young adult years Friendships with adult children Routines and structures Finding Balance – Happy Families #952- A Rippin Good Read – Happy Families Troubled by Rob Henderson | A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social ClassRelated links:
What Your Child Needs From You – Happy Families 6 Strategies for Respectful Relationships – Happy Families I am Not your Friend. I am your Parent – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Thu, 09 May 2024 - 1574 - #986 The Mother's Day Yes/No Game
Kylie is back, answering some quick-fire "Have you ever...?" questions about motherhood and family life.
Mother's Day Links:
Me & My Mum Activity Book - Free Printable – Happy Families What Dad can do for Mum’s wellbeing – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Wed, 08 May 2024 - 1573 - #985 Responding to Gendered Violence With Richard Ryan
How can parents ensure their children grow up to be respectful, kind, and considerate towards others?
This conversation with author and academic Richard Ryan examines the typical backgrounds of perpetrators of violence and aggression and gives practical advice to parents so they can meet their child's basic psychological needs of relatedness, autonomy, and competency.
In this episode:
Self Determination Theory Gendered violence Basic Psychological Needs Modelling values and behaviour Objectification and sexualisation of women in the media Reducing exposure to and setting limits on media use ResilienceLinks:
Helping Our Boys Grow Into Men – Happy Families How to Prevent your Child Becoming A #metoo (and Prevent your Child from Creating One) – Happy Families 4 P’s to Prevent Peer Pressure in your Teens – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Tue, 07 May 2024 - 1572 - #984 City vs Country
Does a particular school really make for a “better” education? And how can parents prepare their children for the death of a much-loved grandparent?
In this episode:
City vs country schools Resources, results and reputation Fun, fit and philosophy Upheaval for families when moving Developing new friendships and relationships Stability and security Grief and loss Preoperational thinking, object permanence, abstraction Developmentally appropriate language The sacredness of life and deathLinks:
Moving? How to Help your Child Settle Into A New School – Happy Families Developmental Milestones [Introduction] – Happy Families How To Talk To Your Children About Death – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Mon, 06 May 2024 - 1571 - #983 Man or Bear?
Content warning: not for young ears.
“If you had to be in the forest with a man or a bear, which would you choose?”. How do we get to the point where we can answer without hesitation “a man!”?
In this episode:
Violence against women Parents stepping up Teaching morality The 'No More' rallies Influence of explicit pornography on young menLinks:
Quote by Saint Augustine: “Right is right even if no one is doing it...” The five demands of the No More national rallies (womensagenda.com.au) Helping Our Boys Grow Into Men – Happy Families How to Prevent your Child Becoming A #metoo (and Prevent your Child from Creating One) – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Sun, 05 May 2024 - 1570 - #982 Judgement & Criticism Are Out!
Judgement & criticism, punishing, provoking, and trying to “fix” a child—none of these are a parent’s job. They only serve to drive a wedge in relationships. Our job is to love our children. To set limits and have expectations—yes!—but to do so kindly.
In this episode:
Shifting the paradigm Compassion and empathy Emotions go up, intelligence goes down The problem with judgement Why kindness is the answerLinks:
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R Covey I don’t need Fixing! I need Guiding and Loving – Happy Families Why Our Kids Need Us to Set Limits – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Thu, 02 May 2024 - 1569 - #981 Am I The Only One Not Interested in Intimacy?
If you are struggling to "keep the spark alive" with your loved one, you're not alone. Exhaustion, screen addiction, lack of time, resentment - all these issues (and more!) can lead to zero interest in nurturing intimacy. Today we share some surprising secrets to sustaining a strong sexual connection!
In this episode:
Reasons for having zero interest in intimacy Connection and friendship Prioritising sex Slowing things down Female pleasure Book recommendationsLinks:
Nurturing Intimacy: Secrets to Sustaining Strong Sexual Connection – Happy Families Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski | The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life She Comes First by Ian Kerner | The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a WomanLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Wed, 01 May 2024 - 1568 - #980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt
Justin shares four big ideas based on Jonathan Haidt's new book in the hope that it generates some constructive conversations with your kids at home:
- The key to building a resilient child, Getting comfy with our children experiencing a healthy level of discomfort in life, The impact of social media on the brain development of teens, and Looking at problematic use of or addiction to social media.
In this episode:
Healthy/unhealthy childhood stressors Supportive parenting vs "tough love" or over-protective parenting Resilience Anxiety The cycle of incompetence Anti-fragility Impact of social media on teenage brain development Social media addiction / problematic useLinks:
After Babel | Jon Haidt | Substack The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt Honestly with Bari Weiss: Smartphones Rewired Childhood. Here's How to Fix ItLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Tue, 30 Apr 2024 - 1567 - #979 Taking No For An Answer
A listener wants to know how to help her friend, a single mum to an increasingly difficult 10-year-old boy. Plus, three things you can do to survive your child’s big and embarrassing public meltdown!
In this episode:
Single parenting Supporting other parents Aggressive child Emotional regulation Psychological help It takes a village! 2-parent privilege Travelling with kids HALTS How to say no with compassion and kindnessHelpful Links:
Developmental Milestones [Part 4: Middle Childhood] Can We Please Talk About Boys? #649 Bringing Up Boys With Dr Arne Rubinstein The Secret to Regulating Emotions What is the Best Way to Say ‘No!’ To Your Kids?Leave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Mon, 29 Apr 2024 - 1566 - #978 Putting Mum on Your Resume
Are you wanting to return to work but struggling to know what on Earth to write on your resume after years out of the workforce? Listen in for some ideas that will inspire and encourage mothers to confidently claim the skills, strengths, and unique value you possess and can offer the world!
In this episode:
Cost-of-living increase Returning to work Motherhood Being a mum is valid and valuable work, so I put it on my CV - ABC Everyday Writing a resume Parental responsibilities, skills, unique value Stay-at-home-mums (SAHM) Kylie's resume – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Sun, 28 Apr 2024 - 1565 - #977 The Not So Fond Farewell
Justin & Kylie discuss the hills and valleys of life - Justin is definitely feeling on top of the mountain as he strives to achieve a better work/life balance, while Kylie is in the valley after farewelling daughter number three.
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Thu, 25 Apr 2024 - 1564 - #976 Abigail Shrier's Bad Therapy
Justin takes a look at Abigail Shrier's controversial new book "Bad Therapy". What's really going on with our kids, and why are they going through so many challenges?
In this episode:
Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up and Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier Why The Kids Aren’t Alright | Honestly Podcast Trauma, PTSD, depression Therapy Iatrogenesis - when the healer introduces harm Parental self-doubt Restorative practices in schools Gentle parenting under fire Understanding children’s basic psychological needsLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Tue, 23 Apr 2024 - 1563 - #975 Homework Hassles & Social Struggles
Today we answer listener questions about co-parenting, homework, and starting daycare.
In this episode:
Co-parenting and divorce Picking battles Co-parenting apps: 2houses and OurFamilyWizard Structure and routine Natural, unstructured environments Developing social skillsHappy Families Resources:
Parenting on the Same Page – Happy Families 7 Tips for Co-Parenting Your Children – Happy Families #962 The Perfection Trap with Thomas Curran (Part 1) – Happy Families #947 Day Care Data with Jenet Erickson – Happy Families Is Homework Helpful? The Homework Letter I Send To School Each Year – Happy FamiliesLeave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Mon, 22 Apr 2024 - 1562 - #974 Roblox Rules
Roblox is incredibly popular with kids, bringing a very real challenge to parents today. We share 5 practical steps you can take to keep your child safe online when it is not practical or feasible to keep them offline.
In this episode:
Keeping gaming to a minimum Roblox worries Inappropriate content Online predators Parental Guidance Season 2 Episode 1, Watch TV Online (9now.com.au) Commercialisation of platforms Psychological capacity of children Parental controls | How to keep your child safe (esafety.gov.au)Leave avoice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Sun, 21 Apr 2024 - 1561 - #973 Hooray for Holidays!
After years of family holiday flops, ChatGPT planned a successful Coulson holiday. Plus, Kylie saves the day with a big dose of compassion.
In this episode:
#952- A Rippin Good Read – Happy Families ChatGPT itinerary planning Large family dynamics Farewelling children Gap years #968 The Secret to Regulating Emotions – Happy Families The power of compassionLeave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Thu, 18 Apr 2024 - 1560 - #972 This Week in Parenting: Bluey, BuzzFeed & Bad Impersonations
Content warning: violence, CSA + a spoiler alert for Bluey fans.
This week in parenting: how a family of dogs is teaching resilience, a sober warning to parents regarding children's online activity, and a fun look at celebrity parenting rules.
In this episode:
Bluey is back with a lesson about preparing kids for change - ABC News Resilience Guy Sebastian's bad parenting advice Responding to Toddler Tantrums – Happy Families Violent Online Groups Extort Minors to Self-Harm and Produce Child Sexual Abuse Material (ic3.gov) #454 Online Safety with Julie Inman Grant from the eSafety Commission – Happy Families Extortion/blackmail tactics Monitoring social media use and online activity 21 Celebrities With Parenting Rules (buzzfeed.com)Email your questions and comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Wed, 17 Apr 2024
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