Tales from the Tinny

The madness and majesty and mayhem and magic.

"It's nice to kick its arse for once after having my arse kicked so many times."

That's not a fishing show! THIS is a fishing show! Sort of.

"It's been a disgusting amount of fishing-related irreverence."

Five hours sleep over two nights.

"You wouldn't think there'd be any mud this time of year, but I found it."

Just the mayhem the doctor ordered.

"They had me on two drips, it was a close call."

"I'm just gonna sit down and cry."

What are the other 80 lures doing in your tackle bag?

Nobody messes with the mantis shrimp.

"I didn't even have a rod, but I was busy tying these flies out of chook feathers."

The test of a fish called Murphy.

"You just about poop yourself."

Not the swimming kind.

Questionable. But not out of the question.

"We don't know what we don't know."

"We really had no idea what migrations they were making in the Timor and Arafura seas."

"It's almost more crazy than the mission itself."

"I love you Mud Crab!"

"They're not art critics, they're fish."

"It's been steep learning curve in figuring out how to keep water away from things."

Like it was sanded with a brick and painted with a live chicken.

"Ill be up at 3am trying to get a scale just right."

Raiding the cutlery draw probably unwise.

"It's my number one procrastination, and sometimes I gotta pack it all away cos I really should be doing other things."

"No fishing, no life!"

"Freshness and good preparation is very important."

It's a legit hard decision.

The transition can be swift.

"Don't catch the queen bee!"

"It's so quiet, last time I ran right up the buffalo's arse."

Cos it's just the…vibe.

"Even ran the blanket. That was nice for a change."

"How comfortable are you being called an elite athlete?"

No hallucinations from consuming the crabs as yet.

"Yeah we just thought we'd hit the sandbar for good measure."

Where is Deniliquin anyway?

Cos at the end of the day, fishin's just fishin'.

Things can go pear-shaped pretty fast.

I'm the horsepower whisperer...look out at the Katherine Show!

Possibly the best excuse for waking the neighbours yelling "I'm the champion!"

"I've never fished so hard in my life."

It is actually a whole new world...

Got nuff ice?

Just outsource the fish measuring to another boat!

"You gotta be in it to win it. And we are very much IN IT."

"They'll almost be catching barra in the Tanami there's that much water."

Big rain. Big fish.

Can AI do fish talk?

Weird but effective.

"Less tins sunk, less tunes pumped and less fun had?"

It's always a good time for stingray laksa!

So was the strategy flawed or brilliant?

"We'll be checking the seismic counters next time for sure."

Why settle for stocking fillers when you can have stocking fillets?

"This thing was like a foot across the back."

Possibly the best use of a toilet plunger ever!

"You coulda walked on their backs they were so thick."

"She hath no owner, just a temporary custodian."

"He had to pull me dacks up so I could fight the fish."

Yeah I ate ALL her dumplings!

How you can own your very own Beard!

A confronting moment of self-loathing for Darwin's Land based Sensei, as he considers eating soft serve ice-cream alone. Outpouring of support from fishing community, as they rally around him.

Cos why else would a Territory pollie climb a tree?

Struck by lightning in thongs?

1200km for three fish and hitting a dozen sandbars?

The ridiculousness is palpable.

1. Perfect tides for build up barra 2. From Twitchin to the Kitchen 3. Farewell the Mangrove Ninja 4. Build up time 5. A good old Territory stranding, but who is hero and who is villain?

Was this vile treachery? Or just very well-played?

Everyone loves a slow cooked tantrum.

"It wasn't arsey. It was just... unorthodox."

Notes on barra and the blue as the humidity rises.

"A foot of it was hangin' out the esky!"

“Doesn’t stop for a good thousand metres. And then it keeps going.”

“I’d go so far as to call that art.”

"If that's not love, I dunno what is."

Three kilometres of leader?

Welcome to the hall of shame.

"Buy your frozen bait. Throw it in. Catch fish!"

"I was stuck on this mudflat doing squats to keep warm."

When looking at the water really doesn't help.

"It'll be the first of its kind in the Territory."

When a second arrow's not gonna do ya much good.

Where 150lb braid + 20/0 hook + 4kg bait = A good time.

“Is that dedication? Or just stupidity?”

“It’s man on fish. Doesn’t get much more exhilarating.”

Go on. Get one up ya.

"I was completely upside down for a bit there."

"Your life as you know it is now over."

Is the Tinny's revered brag mat actually on the piss?

"If your choice is dinner in the desert or the RSL buffet, what are you gonna choose?"

"In all my years, nothing's come close to that feeling."

How accurate is accurate enough?

“It’s a bit like listening to porn on the radio”

"You can go out fishing for barra and come home pissing blood. It's worse than rugby."

"I've only come close to losing digits a couple of times."

“All in all a pretty devastating trip.”

"I'm just using every single cent I have on fuel and just SENDING it!"