Spam Jam Radio

In this week’s sleek and sexy Six Minute Jam we make bad toast, sentence a Belgian, make inflight purchases, take pictures of old ladies, and check in on Jesus and his gang  As usual, visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also, a quick announcement: SJR will be taking a small break to regroup and work on other projects both creative and personal. But it will return soon enough with delightful new material  In the meantime, please check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective adventure, Gus Tulip Private Dick, here or wherever you get your podcasts - a long overdue new episode will be dropping soon So, till next time, Love and Gravy to you and yours

In this week’s fantastic Five Minute Jam we get a doggy bag, mock Vanilla Tea, call each other pet names, enter the era of TV Channel Singularity, smell our fingers, discuss married life, have our plans derailed, and deal with an overflowing toilet Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal comedy detective adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts Please follow and Subscribe. More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy - Episode Transcript: Check please Of course, sir. Was the food not to your liking? Oh, it was great, but it was just a bit much.  So, yeah, could you please wrap this up for us so we can forget it in the taxi on the way home? Of course, sir - Vanilla Tea?  Yeah That’s your name? Yeah. You have a problem with that? No, why should I have. I’m not the one walking around with name like Vanilla Tea. - Good morning booty bird Hi angel butt  Sleep well wiggle bink? Perfectly pupi cheeks  How bout some sugar, smoopy Here you go love muffin You so fine pudding shakes Want some eggs yummy face  Sure, snugglebum You got it smoeshiepants - It was in 2029 that television became overtly specialized. Gone were the sports, news, food and entertainment channels, and in their place myriad others of extremely narrow focus. And so began the era of TV channel singularity. There was a channel featuring only monkeys shooting lazers, and one only showing music clips with red ships. There was one devoted entirely to freshwater explosions, and another to passive aggressive Austrian arguments. There was a channel that exclusively showed drunk men fighting and one parading reptiles in lingerie. The plate smashing channel was a hit, as was the sweeping up channel, and lets not forget the channel that only showed people opening bottles with their bums - So, with Jim and Sandrine that makes 12 hmm Wait, you don’t like Jim and Sandrine? I don’t know. She just looks like a woman who says, ‘get your hands off my man,’ way too often, and he looks like a guy who keeps smells his fingers after digging in his navel You know people so well Ludovico It’s a blessing, and a curse - How’s married life? It’s good but I miss screwing other girls. You know, random, dumb annoying strangers I meet in shitty clubs with awful music and pretend to listen to and care about. I even miss when girls I’m not at all into jerk me off mechanically and for too long into a deep and depressing numbness Yeah. That happened to me last weekend. Was amazing - Whats wrong Giuliano?  Ah, it’s nothing No, there’s clearly something the matter. You can tell me.  Well, it’s just, the man I’ve being lying to and setting up for months had a stroke yesterday, and now I cant defraud him for all his assets Oh man, that’s tough  – I know how you feel. Some idiot went and killed the guy I was going to beat up and rob last week  Ugh. So inconvenient - Oh no, the toilet’s overflowing again It’s your huge shits Gerald. How many times must I tell you: your shits is too damn big. It’s all that corn and roast goose you eat. all that stewed goat and cheesy fries and banana cream pie. Your turds is just too god damn massive - too thick and chunky. Long as a python, wide as tree trunk. You gonna break Old Betty if you don’t mitigate your bowel movements. Lord knows, something has got to give!  - Check please Of course, sir. Was the food not to your liking? Oh, it was great, but it was just a bit much. So, yeah, could you please wrap this up for us? Certainly, ill put it in a small paper box with a tiny hole in one corner so it leaks extensively but almost imperceptibly  Great, and do make sure put that in a plastic bag with a tiny overlapping hole so it spills continuously onto my brand new pants for several minutes before I notice Of course, sir

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we ask for directions, choose a wine, climb Kilimanjaro carrying an anaconda, don’t enjoy life, celebrate with champagne, read from this year’s fiction finalists, meet a terrific friend, warn someone about a vulgar guest, ask about favorite nations, and get on the line with Doctor Jack Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we tackle the age old debate about pineapple on pizza, buy something with little use, open a couple of cans of beans, admire a silk scarf collection, get rice in our hair, make small talk at a party, get the green light, and lose the ability to pick our nose good Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s fantastic Five Minute Jam, we portray some impossible equations, unload the dishwasher on ketamine, hang out with golfers and douchebags, see someone familiar, sing the time, don’t know what to wear to the party, refuse to get down, receive a visit from the huggle brigade, and trade in our loyalty card Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

Happy New Year everyone! In this milestone 25th Jam, we take the opportunity to look back at the growing catalog of Jams, and put together a compilation of best skits and bits from the first 24. We revisit old favorites like Rabies Night, Whale Song, Man Bun Wars, Chip Flavor Recital, Woop Hey Hey, Dung Cancer, Please Hold, and Take This Pill, and have another listen to the original songs, Excuses, and Hit and Run Pooper Rest assured, fresh new Jams will start rolling off the production line again in 2 weeks, and carry on into 2023. I have lots more funny and weird content just waiting to be given life. If you like my stuff, please do tell your friends about it, as well as following, sharing, and all that good stuff Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out my surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy. Thanks for listening, and wishing you a wonderful 2023

In this week’s special Six Minute Jam, just in time for the holidays, we give some old jokes a makeover with a funky tune. But first we talk Christmas presents, get our coffees just the way we like them, reminisce about a party on a boat that Moby and Holly Hunter also attended, and stop biting our nails Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy, and Happy Holidays. Thanks for listening and catch you again in 2023

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we get invited to dinner, reject the rain, hear today’s porn headlines, meet the dish raccoon, order the special, take a photo down the rabbit hole, and wear someone else’s shoes Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we buy flip flops, send an email, give some love to a long time sponsor, delve into the art world, fall out of an 8th floor window, and choke on an apple Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

This week’s Five Minute Jam is rather filthy, and perfect for naughty boys and girls like you. In it, we ask about the music, hear machines getting busy, find a rat in the pool pump, eat an old shrimp, enquire about Polish hammers, thread a needle with our knees, name our children, and run late. It’s a dirty jam but somebody had to make it  Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we question our sanity, are arrested for murder, dabble in role play, expound on metaphor, hear a message from our sponsors, and get upset with you Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s gnarly Six Minute Jam we refuse a bag, end a presentation, hear chants from the Catholic priests of St. Inapproprio, fight with the waiter, visit a drive-through, say boner ape tits, take in the best of arthouse film, and make bad plans Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your content More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s special Seven Minute Jam we get to hear another original song! But first we take a seat in the boss’s office, buy sex toys, hear a smelly airplane announcement, and get feedback on a script. Then, as promised, we sing about things to do when you’re alone on the farm Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we get vegan food, meet the CEO, look at a menu, talk band names with Ben Cockdiggle, stain a chair, find out what your mom used to do, and make sounds of pleasure Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s special Six Minute Jam we are reminded of someone, look at wedding pics, talk dog names, recall our happiest days, and immortalize the hit and run pooper in song Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we hear a bad joke, commence Operation Buttplug, get serious for once, decide about pancakes, receive a courtesy communication, order food and a beverage, hear waves lapping at a moonlit shore, and get grossed out by soup Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective comedy series Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we get the house special, go viral with grandma, ask deep questions, get a bottle of wine, analyze our parents, sign a contract, smell perfume, suffer a word allergy, and order whiskey Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective comedy series Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts. More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we order a drink, refuse a hug, make an introduction, trash our uncles, try and escape David Guetta, go to court, throw an iPhone off a bridge, and navigate life’s ups and downs Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we find relief, run late, play a gameshow, eat early, recall wedding guests, visit Dorothy, run out of beans, and forget passwords Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we order pancakes, don’t marry a nice Jewish girl, worry about witchcraft, get the low down on Taylor, ask for a room number, sip cocktails by the fruit market, mention a honeymoon in Kenya, walk the dog, get coffee, and question a friendship Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

Hello Spam Jammers. Well, we are 10 Jams in and I just wanted to give you a quick update to let you know that from now on, new jams will be published every 2 weeks instead of weekly. You know, to give a me a little time to get my life in order and catch up on other projects. Speaking of which, you should definitely check out my other audio project/podcast: Gus Tulip Private Dick. It is a surreal detective adventure: a wild ride featuring rich, detailed soundscapes. There are 5 episodes so far and I'm working on the 6th, so keep a look out for that soon too. Find Gus here, or wherever you find the things you are looking for!  Otherwise, I'll catch you again next Wednesday with Jam 11. It promises to be a special one. Till then, Love and Gravy. Oh, and if you like my stuff, please do tell your friends about it. It would be much appreciated.

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we go to California, succumb to Nikita, drink wine form a dirty box, squeeze a stress ball, go out on rabies night, say bye to some hideous trolls, break up with Debbie, and order ribs Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts. More next week. Till then, Love and Gravy.

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we get sober, smell dinner, receive some unwanted gifts, talk to a baby, eat grapes with pips, hardly touch our food, chat with a shorts renter, don’t tell mommy we love her, meet the remarkable Allan, and purloin some gratitude Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More next week. Till then, Love and Gravy.

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we get a drink, buy chairs on sale, get anti stereotypical, witness more fruit stand ridiculousness, receive a confession, rub one out in the shower, scoff at advice, and find comfort in having him close by Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts. More next week. Till then, Love and Gravy.

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we meet an artiste, hear a future news report, look for an odd vegetable, hear a late night sexy ad, go to a jazzy open mic, ask to pet a dog, look for the perfect man, question God, are reminded of a friend back home, suffer the consequences of overcooked pasta, miss the guy with the funny hat, and attend a fancy show  Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More next week. Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we meet the professor, forget our phone, give voice to a guinea pig, say dishes weird, have plums the size of grapefruits, recall the night we kissed, eat an atonal sandwich, introduce a formal frog, scratch butts, forget who had a baby girl, and get told how to eat our food  Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts More next week. Till then, Love and Gravy to you

This week’s Five Minute Jam has it all: singing, laughing, babysitting hippos! Yes, in Jam 5 we make as reservation, pity Jessie, send an email, make excuses, get put on hold, have French cuisine, and decline an invitation Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts. Please subscribe if you enjoy Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we meet the head baker, have ice cream, get a pandemic update, go to a new restaurant, sit in on a poetry reading, go to a club, have those mashed potatoes, meet John and Kate, and receive bad news about Allan. New jams every Wednesday. Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts.  Also check out Kanter Loop’s other audio project Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts.  Love and gravy.

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we celebrate a birthday, hear some unbelievable true stories, refuse a sandwich, say no to kids, do blow in the bathroom, find a sexy new voice, drink Thai whisky, list chip flavors, and watch Man Bun Wars. More next week.  Also check out Kanter Loop’s other audio project Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts.

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we get insulted, cook with Jake, still wear masks, go real estate hunting, walk like a little girl, get nachos, have a gap year in Peru, poop our pants at a party, get a phone call, and hear about a new movie project. More next week. Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts. Also check out Kanter Loop’s other audio project Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts.

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we trash a picnic spot, paint the painter, check in on some humans in distress, visit an election rally, buy vegan potatoes, forgive a buttock biting husband, cover farting in lifts, and get some bad news from the doctor Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts Also check out Kanter Loop’s other audio project, Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts

Introducing Spam Jam Radio: Five Minute Jams for Short Attention Spans, a weekly arrangement of comedy skits and bits that aim to delight and distract, titillate and amuse. Jam 1 will drop on Wednesday April 6, with a new episode every Wednesday thereafter. Each one of them will be short and sweet, quick and dirty, offering a mini variety show, a loopy wonderland, a dance with mayhem! Come on, you deserve a mental getaway from all the bad news, so why not chomp on some funny, salty nuggets doused in silly gravy. Just subscribe and be entertained.  Best enjoyed on a decent buzz. Please don’t listen responsibly. More at www.spamjamradio.com