Elis James and John Robins

At what point does a bum recovery journey transmogrify into a spiritual journey? Probably around the nine day mark, for John’s continuing convalescence from his spooky procedure has gone beyond the physical. It’s also led to him growing a beard and looking like a Russian chess prodigy, so swings and roundabouts…

But what does excite John is the news that Elis has finally stepped into his first Sportage. Questions cascade forth from John’s lips like a gushing waterfall, as Kia talk lifts the spirits of our recovering hero.

Spirits are also lifted further through more great banter zone jet lag stories, a quite graphic bum story from a listener, and discussion about Robocop, naturally.

Continue to send us your top quality correspondence to the usual address: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. Or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

And make sure you’re listening through the world’s most intuitive piece of engineering: BBC Sounds.

The march of AI has engulfed everything in its path: cars no longer need drivers, paintings no longer need painters, and songs no longer need writers. But one man stands in the way of AI’s relentless progress: John Robins. What can AI do with hours and hours of one of the leading voices of generation shame? It’s a question that is finally answered in today’s podcast.

Beyond the grip of AI’s ever-extending tendrils, the finest (and probably only) example of prone podcasting continues. There’s an eventful prone Made Up Game, a wincing prone Shame, and the discovery of a brand new condition: banter zone jet lag.

For bits and pieces it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or swing over a WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

What’s the only way to spend Halloween? It’s having a spoooooky intimate bum procedure of course! So John's dressed as a spoooky ghost in a bed sheet. (He's in bed as he recovers). There’s no way he was to be knocking on the doors of rural Bucks to fill his pumpkin bucket with Chomps and Refreshers when he’s got an ice pack strapped to his behind. So it's prone podcasting at its finest.

While our backside hero recovers, it’s Elis’s job to do the heavy lifting - i.e. read the emails. But right now, really it's you doing the lifting. From Golden Age Mad Dads to Timberland tales, you're doing more incredible lifting than Lasha Talakhadze (+102kg Men 2024 Olympic Champion).

If you want to throw anything into the mix for the boys to use on the show then it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. Or if you’re young enough to not know ‘The Fonz’ then it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Are you listening on BBC Sounds? If not then you’re missing out on the chance to switch, with the tap of a finger, to Matt Chorley eating a flan whilst interviewing The Education Secretary on 5 Live. So listen there!

Bye Bye Mr Audio, Hello Mr Saturday Night! There are rumours that Saturday night TV is dead. That it just doesn't bring in the eyeballs that Bowen, Black and Forsyth once did and the cash well is drying up. But with five kids between them and the prospect of John’s fixed rate mortgage expiring at an unstated date, that’s still enough cash to entice the ever well oiled ideas machine into life.

Whether ‘Mr Saturday Night’ or ‘Dave & Dave’s Sexy Show’ would pull in millions is one question. Another question is easier to answer: would a BBC commissioner dashing their shiny floor dreams LIVE be box office listening? Yes, yes it would.

Aside from dreams of gunge, interviewing pets and the big time there’s some heavy hitting moments: an aurally unique Made Up Game, the Cymru Connection’s own VAR moment and potentially the ultimate Petty Parliament.

It’s all best experienced on the BBC Sounds app where if you tire of this vapid content you can easily switch to the stoicism of Radio 4’s The World At One with the tap of a thumb. You can’t do that on any other app.

If you’re of the post-S-Club generation then 07974 293 022 is the WhatsApp. For anyone older it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

Drink in it folks, we’re living in a new golden age. That’s right, the lesser talked about field of alpinism has reached new heights, a new zenith. And there’s one man to thank: Mr John Robins.

Johnny JR’s record-breaking successful scale of the Matterhorn with his eyes (a feat previously thought impossible) is picked over in detail, as is his expensive alpine driving, and his holiday eating habits: lots of pasta, double pizzas. Have we unearthed the new Michael Palin?

Among the usual japes - including elite mad daddery, more nightclub attire chat, and a journey from the bap to the barm via the butty - the boys also ordain a new youth oriented corner of the podcast. Slay.

Keep your top level correspondence coming in to us at elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or if you’re of slay age, WhatsAppp the show on 07974 293022.

Jekyll and Hyde isn’t a work of fiction. Nor is James McAvoy in hit film Split. No. If you were to venture down the B and C roads of mainland Wales the past few weeks you’ll have seen something far more surprising: Welsh Elis and English Elis.

For there’s an astonishing revelation of the West Walian comic once thought of as polite and mild-mannered. James’ alternative persona is coming to a Welsh theatre near you and be prepared for an attitude that will shock. As well as the mental there's also time for analysis of the physical side of the game, as the boys dig into the sudden born to bench trend of the UK funny man.

There’s also a national infrastructure halting Shame, and there’s an inspirational Made Up Game sure to generate merch revenues that could pay for Tim Davie’s Calippo bill for at least the next financial quarter. All this despite an initial lack of confidence in the gameplay. Because it wouldn’t be Elis and John if they didn’t trash a game before passing it with flying colours. Trust. The. Process.

If you aren’t already listening to the show on the universe leading BBC Sounds app then you better swear on Adrian’s life that you’ll sort that very this instant.

To get in touch with everything from sex club chat to your own genre-pushing Made Up Games it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on electronic mail, and 07974 293 022.

What do we all do before going on holiday? Check we have our Big Three (keys, boarding pass, passport), worry about whether the place has a washing machine, and write up a draft will. It’s the classic Robins pre-holiday triumvirate.

Yes, Johnny JR is off on his holidays to climb the Matterhorn with his eyes. And boy does he have a spring in his step!

Alongside holiday chat, we witness the birth of a new event: The Elis and John Decathlon. Jessica Ennis-Hill and Daley Thompson watch out, two digital podcast-first DJs are coming for you.

And don’t for one second think this podcast doesn’t contain excellent mad daddery, top listener correspondence and chat about the world’s favourite app BBC Sounds.

Keep all your bits coming in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

When one thinks of the great socialisers ‘John’ and ‘Robins’ are two words that don’t immediately spring to mind. But are we seeing a transformation in a week that sees John enter 1920s socialite levels of social butterflyery. From partying in Brixton and currying with top business folk, to watching Tom Rosenthal get fitted for golf clubs for four hours on a Tuesday, is there nothing this man can’t do to fill his busy schedule?

Beyond John’s Big Social Week we throw open the doors to one of the great friends and PCDs of the show, Ania Magliano, who brings an extraordinary tale of her own mad father.

Also, if you aren’t already listening on BBC Sounds, then what on God’s green earth are you doing? For all the other platforms’ merits, do they have direct inject access to live radio on digital tap? No!

If you want to contact the show then, if we haven’t already told you it enough then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the electronic mail, and 07974 293 022 the WhatsApp number.

Wheel the to 1:50 scale Maine Road birthday cake out, Producer Dave is turning 40!

George Orwell posited that 1984 would be a year of bleak dystopian nightmares. In reality it spawned Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’, the film Ghostbusters and Stockport's finest podcast-first producer, Dave Masterman. Eat that, Orwell.

So it’s time to celebrate in the only way Dave knows how: with a bucket of coleslaw, an overly priced toastie, a trip to the local omnipotent bar chain and an hour of podcasting fun. We hear from an array of friends from his past including some Mancunian acquaintances…

Away from the birthday fun we get more insights into the secrets of sex clubs - John, fully clothed, has his notebook at the ready - and we all go a bit chippy mad.

Make Producer Dave’s 41st year his best yet by continuing to send in your top quality correspondence to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

And remember to keep it locked on BBC Sounds.

It's all about heights today, as despite scaling the lofty heights of the digital UK audio comedy chat rock face, Elis is still uncomfortable when confronted by a modicum of verticality. But not the case for John who is going to push his own ocular mountaineering boundaries.

Elsewhere there’s dinner dates, Welsh heart rates and service stations potentially located on J8. Oh and there’s an unexpected detour into sex clubs.

If you're under 40 and therefore apparently know about sex clubs then John, entering his sex club year, would very much like to hear it. elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

But no filth please, because unlike rival shows this is not a sex podcast!

After the wave of excitement around Mr Audio’s new Welsh podcast project 'Welsh Rarebit: Grilled by Elis James', it’s time for John to enter the lucrative side-hustle podcast game. Step forward 'Trauma on The Tee with John Robins'. If deep emotional conversations and the latest bunker wedges are your thing, keep your ears peeled.

But here on this podcast, featuring two of the country’s brightest and best comedians, it’s actually Producer Dave who comes up with the best quip of the episode. Ring that good podcasting bell!

Keep sending us your memos, missives and scribblings. All to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. Or if you’re super modern you can WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

And make sure to listen on the world’s most intuitive app: BBC Sounds.

Elis and John have been on journeys this week, both metaphorically and literally. Yes we cover their travel woes as the pair journeyed back from Wales (Elis sustained by Aberystwyth goodwill, John driven by the need to forge his own path), but we also cover the spiritual journeys undertaken in the realms of teeth whitening, shoe laces, and slug juice.

Aside from all the journeying there’s a new character introduced to the mix, a desperate attempt from Elis to avoid the hat trick of failures in the Cymru Connection, and a belter of a Made Up Game.

Keep your tiptop emails and WhatsApps coming in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 respectively. And make sure you’re listening on the world’s favourite app: BBC Sounds.

It’s happened. Elis and John have turned into crypto bros. This is now a crypto pod. It was only a matter of time…

But worry not, it’s only a fleeting transformation, and after some serious reflections the boys are back doing what they do best: discussing how to approach an all-you-can-eat buffet, wading further into the dried fruits vs sweets debate, and questioning the coolness of marshmallows.

John reflects on yet another successful golfing trip, and Elis delivers his latest hot take on popcorn. It’s vintage stuff.

If this show were an old steam train, then your correspondence would be the steam. We need it to keep the wheels running. Send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or get in touch via WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

And remember that the greatest track upon which to listen to the show (if it were still an old steam train) would be the trusty tracks of BBC Sounds.

It’s a giddy John we encounter today, for our hero is about to embark on his yearly golfing pilgrimage to Elis’s beloved Portugal. Talk of unspeakably high win rates and historic opportunities to become “better than Man City at golf” abounds.

Elsewhere, there’s a lengthy discussion about the pros and cons of skipping TV theme music, an eventful outing of John’s favourite feature The Cymru Connection (which leads to a yet another new podcast idea for Mr Audio), and a “billy-bink-bink-bonks” Shame Well entry.

Keep sending us your games, shames, petty objections and Welsh connections. All this to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

And remember that the best listening experience happens on the greatest audio platform in the biz: BBC Sounds.

Tick tock Robins went down in history. But tick tock Masterman? Now that’s a whole different ball game. Like Stuart Pearce or Joe Royle missing the team bus, you’d think that unheard of, but not today. So expect the sackings to fly.

Away from such tardiness, Elis reads the best and second best emails of this financial quarter, John features in one of sport’s most hilarious beefs and, shockingly I know, in depth service station chat interrupts some Tolkien Mad Daddery.

If you want to provide the best email of Q4 then send it in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or if WhatsApp’s your digital bag then 07974 293 022 is the number to save in your phone.

Oh we do have some fun don’t we. And if the Funometer was measuring in funtometres then today’s show would cause it to 404 error due to exceeding the fun scale. And it’s in large part because walking jingler David O’Doherty is on the show with a funtastic Made Up Game to play!

Plus there’s a Shame that’ll really make you squirm and an absolutely compelling Welshman for Elis to sink his parochial teeth into. But there’s also time for #reflection with some earth shattering news about the Bag of Death.

And to get in touch with the show it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for all of your intense poetry.

As time continues its cruel, relentless, and inevitable march onwards, thoughts turn to retirement plans; how will our heroes see out their final days? Who has their eye on one big final paycheck? The answer may surprise you. And who doesn’t mind just fizzling out quietly? Elis.

It’s also a big day for Producer Dave, as his lost university dissertation finally sees the light of day. The nation has been waiting with baited breath to hear about the past, present, and future of Sheffield Hallam’s student radio station Rush Radio, and today we can deliver the goods.

And fortunately/unfortunately (deleted as appropriate), there is still a little bit of the dance to be danced...

Please do continue to send in your excellent correspondence via the usual channels. For email users it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, and for WhatsApp aficionados it’s 07974 293022.

After such vigorous dancing last time out the boys have done their stretches and downed their recovery shakes in preparation for a classic Elis and John day at the office.

In a quite astonishing move, Dave takes a laptop to church, Elis struggles to follow the recipe and there’s a Cymru Connection for which circular content was designed for.

Elis also takes in some excellent advice from you the you the listener on how he can chart the waters of wedlock and John makes a quite startling revelation about how he spent the other afternoon.

If you don't already, listen to the show on BBC Sounds. It's completely free to download and you get ALL BBC audio right at your fingertips! To get in touch on this and that it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, and on WhatsApp 07974 293 022. And yes, you can now stop emailing about dynamic ticket pricing, for the inbox has exploded to the degree that we might have to increase the entry price due to demand.

We’re all excited about dancing the dance. The most intimate dance. Cheek to cheek entering the ballroom. John woke up at 3:30 this morning on edge about dancing the dance. His favourite conversation. The romantic frisson. The interplay between venue capacity, ticket price and audience demand. The delicious dance. The one thing better than talking about the dance is being actually involved in the dance.

What the above probably hasn’t elucidated is, it should be pointed out, is that the dance more specifically is 45 minutes of discussion about dynamic pricing. This might not be for everyone. So if you’re against that then do leave the show playing whilst you nip out the house because we need to keep those retention figures up.

There are things in this episode which don’t involved dancing but it makes up about 25%.

The email address for the show is elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp. Feel free to email in about The Dance but if Production have to read 120 emails on Monday morning about dynamic pricing then it will likely make them sad.

We’ll throw down the gauntlet here. This is *classic* Elis and John. A podium place episode. Champions League. There, I said it. Big laughs, sex swapping, something harrowing from Robins, an absolute Billy belter… of a Cymru Connection, Americans dealing with 5-year-olds’ opinions on gun control and a rock solid Shame.

Elsewhere Elis settles into married life by talking about Patreon to a Frenchman, John is desperate to know from Phil Wang how to get a Netflix Special and a Made Up Game to really grab your attention. There’s just *a lot* going on.

If you want to contribute to the Booker Prize quality of our correspondence then it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

A union that we’ve waited 15 years for between a pair significantly involved in the UK’s cultural scene. Some of the most significant personal news to hit this show in a long long time which requires examining on many fronts. No not Elis’s wedding but the Oasis reunion. For Producer Dave might spontaneously combust. He might break down due to not being on the presale and there are distinct concerns for his use of substances in July 2025.

Elsewhere Elis has got married. That's also in here.

Also expect some significant accusations from the most trend setting radio show in the land.

If you want to get in touch it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp and elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the usual email.

With post-wedding factors still in play, it’s another trip down the pre-recorded well today. But don’t for one second think that means a drop in quality, for with this very podcast episode comes high quality chat about dog/fox mess, a scorching anecdote about Elis having his car cleaned, and a meaty Made Up Game from the vaults to boot.

With the Oasis reunion news rocking producer Dave to his very core, there’s also a very fortuitous and timely chat about the merits of Noel Gallagher’s cooking skills. It’s almost as if Noel and Liam were waiting for this episode to drop. It makes you wonder…

Keep sending us your top quality correspondence to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or be a modern citizen and send us a WhatsApp on 07974 293022.

And remember, the best place to listen is on the world’s greatest platform: BBC Sounds.

You might have been expecting to come across the full lowdown of what is being described by Hello and OK! as the wedding of the summer. But no, for with weddings come honeymoons, so it’s a break glass for emergency episode situation. Thus, if it seems weird that there’s no mention of the happy couple or John’s best man activities then there’s your reasoning.

So it’s three crazy guy joined by Annie McGrath to tackle a Chinese conundrum. Plus they dig into some of your questions and chat the hottest bods in the comedy game.

Perhaps you want to get in touch with the show? Well elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the contact for the over 40s, and for the cool hip happening youngsters, 07974 293 022 is the WhatsApp number to save in your phone.

If you’ve not done so already, do remember to subscribe to the show on the BBC Sounds app!

Well, Fine and Unwell: the three states. Constantly switching across protagonists with one having to pick up the slack. But who will it be this week? An Elis at peak stress levels, a Dave on one hour sleep, or a still zen Robins?

There’s a lot of chaos to absorb on the show today as Dave tries his best to wrangle four professional talkers. Never has a bleary eyed father of three had his patience tested so much. The combination of Elis and John x Clara and Jordan from BBC Sounds’ ‘Make Me A Mixtape’ could be his undoing.

Elsewhere there are a couple of the most bonkers coach journeys hitherto known to man - which justifies this very long thread’s continued current inclusion. Plus, has Elis finally met his Cymraes match?

You can check out Make Me A Mixtape on the inimitable BBC Sounds. It’s loadsa fun. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0j2n5w8/episodes/player

And remember, do get in touch if you’ve ever had wasps in your bell tower. elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Twas the night before Elis’s wedding, and though we can’t offer you non-stirring mice, we can guarantee you something even better, and even rarer: Elis at the end of his tether. He has 3 big problems for enlightened John to solve, and the balm of reading stories about the maddest of dads offers some much needed salve.

John frets about the legacy of Ivo Graham’s past wedding speech triumphs, and Dave’s in a tizz of his own after returning from a nightmare journey back from his beloved Algarve.

It’s an episode beset by worries but packed with the usual laughs, and ends with Elis picturing his dream wedding where no one has turned up and he’s sat there eating piles of salmon...

We want your correspondence and will stop at nothing to get it. But you need to play your part too. Send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

The Elis and John realm remains a very zen place to be. So grab your headphones, get into a comfortable position, and let the BBC’s youngest and most chilled out broadcasters relax your busy mind.

And what could be more relaxing than a chat about arctic rolls? What could induce a sense of calm more than picturing Elis James in a 14th century jester’s outfit? Can you achieve nirvana by talking about the first Ronseal bride? You’ll have to listen to find out.

Send your dispatches, missives, and communiqués to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

John’s been on a silent retreat. Today he breaks his silence with a man, who unlike him, ultimately revels in conversation. One who would discuss the career stats of Leon Britton until the heat death of the universe.

It’s a big one on one between two intellectual heavyweights. Think BBC Four or late night TV of the past whereby two great minds would just melt out reflections to biggen your brain by osmosis. Or alternatively it’s just a big old chat about guff management. A changed man and Elis just shooting the (psychological) breeze.

If you want to get in touch with the show then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the electronic mail. And 07974 293 022 is the WhatsApp number.

Elis and John have been overcome by two forces this week: Olympic fever, and the stark realisation that their bits are old. The former makes for a Made Up Game for the ages, whilst the latter leads to a pensive mood in the studio.

Sporting antics and todger worrying aside, John thinks he might have become one of the great parents, Elis reads a world-beating mad dad story, and there's a controversial sitting of the Petty Parliament.

We love to receive your correspondence, so keep sending it in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp us on 07974 293022.

36 hours. That is the approximate time it takes to travel to from Melton Mowbray to Gibraltar via coach. It is also the approximate time now dedicated to emails on how long coach journeys can be. But Elis and John are endlessly fascinated by your horrible horrible travels.

But amidst such mega[bus] chat there’s moments that are actually quite #moving. Because you know we can deal with emotional heft and also acknowledge that John can bring the mood down on a cancer ward.

Elsewhere there’s a fantastic surprise in the spin the wheel nature that is 80 Daves and the prospect of Robins as Samuel Pepys sends a chill down the spine.

Have you been on a coach? Was it for too long? Maybe you’re on a coach now which has wifi and you can thus send your correspondence to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

Alternatively if you possess a 4G/5G connection then it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp. To do this just save the contact as normal in your phone, give it an appropriate name and then you can fire in your messages on WhatsApp to your heart’s content.

The Great Organiser is Robins. And his latest trick was to organise the ultimate stag for a Welshman in his forties. Design touches, #thoughtfulness and the opportunity to simply talk to people for a few hours amount to a roaring success all round and provides a prime example of why John’s so stressed all the time. It’s because he tries.

In other non-stag quarters there’s a meaty old global David and the official referees’ board enters the fray around Elis’s Welsh connecting. In a rare occasion it’s a Made Up Game-less show today simply because there’s anecdotes aplenty.

Do you want to contact the show? Yes. Do you have access to an electronic message inbox? Almost certainly. Well you’re in luck because elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk if the means you can use to contact the show with all yer mad father, mad-e up game and maddening stories.

Are weddings run on facts? Do they need to be ULEZ compliant? Is it a laugh when people respond to questions about dietary requirements with humorous whimsy? These are the questions that are keeping Elis James up at night as the big day approaches.

Aside from the stresses and strains of organising a wedding, there’s a debate about whether reading out someone else’s tweets makes for good content - followed by 15 minutes of said content. We take a school trip to the abattoir, we spend an unfathomable amount of time on a coach, and Russell Howard drops by to answer a listener’s dilemma.

There’s nothing we love more than to receive your correspondence. So send it to us on the world’s most exciting medium, email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. Or you can WhatsApp the show on 07974 293022

When Elis James meets his idols there’s usually only one outcome: he gets it wrong. But a chance meeting with Britpop royalty this week has given Elis the chance to set this trend right. Will he crumble? Will his symphonic bowels play ball? Will he push his glasses too far up his nose again? All is revealed within.

Elsewhere, the previous torch carriers for email have done a volte face and turned on the once glorious medium, the boys decide which of them would be the better friend to various mums, and Elis tries to find a connection to a random Welsh person.

Despite this week’s tirade against the misuse of email, we still want to receive your electronic correspondence. Send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293022.

John’s world has been rocked from beneath him. Our hero's fears have piled up, and a trip to the medical room - hopefully containing one of London’s timidest doctors - is needed. Join us for a deep dive into the underworld.

In lighter news, dads are still up to their mad tricks, a childhood liar descends into the sewers, and John ponders how many children the podcast has sired.

Have something you want to share with Elis and John? Send us your emails on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or send us a WhatsApp on 07974293022.

In today’s show ********************** ************** *************** ************ **************.

The previous paragraph was censored by Producer Dave for being too balanced.

In uncensored information Elis James' Welsh knowledge is put to the test, unique vocal chops are showcased, and there’s a corker of a Shame.

The place to go for all that correspondence of yours is elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

“Surprise surprise”, not the words of the late Cilla Black, but those of Mr Dave Masterman, as the show takes a couple of gastronomic and lyrical turns today, in an effort to a) make a crucial judgement, and b) galvanise one of the four nations of our United Kingdom.

From Cilla to one of her bezzie mates, there’s some incredibly innovative advertising involving Paul McCartney. Elis is deep in a world solely consisting of Andy Murray and wedding and John has seen something that will make his best groom feel unwell.

Want to send something in then via electronic mail it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp it to 07974 293 022

Remember the Cheeky Girls of noughties Lembit Opik fame? Well today it’s the Cheeky Boys. And former Lib Dem MP Opik is the only reference to politics you’re getting due to Elis’s unsanctioned cheekiness which manifests itself as being *too* balanced.

Elsewhere if you had 1,000 guesses as to what TV show John’s been watching this week, you still wouldn’t get it, and Producer Dave files through a formerly unknown Made Up Games repository.

Want to contribute to the show? Shames, Games, stuff for Elis James? Then it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for those who are operational members of 21st century society.

A schism has come between Elis and John that may signal the end of Britain’s youngest broadcasters’ undisputed reign of the podcast-first platform. It all boils down to one question: are emails about the prices of things in the past interesting or boring? It’s time to pick a side.

Once a side in this polarising debate has been picked, you are free to enjoy a conversation about French onion soup, a chat about Rob Auton’s lovely new fleece, and a listener calling into question Elis’s claim about never getting DOMS.

Want to share your thoughts, feelings and vibes? Then email the show at elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

On the horizon approaching the dusty Elis and John town in the podcast wild west is an indiscernible speck. Over time it goes from a dot, to a blob, to a horse, to a horse with man. And the man is not just a man but a messenger. And that steed is here to drop off huge news.

As we bask and delve into such massive-massive-it-is news, there’s also bard brilliance, a bleeding corker of a Made Up Game daubed all over the walls and we get a first hand account of encountering one of the greatest Daves of any gen - [do the voice] Mr David Bowie.

Do you want to send anything in to the only safe haven in the podcast wild west? Then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the place to send it. The horse will then download, PDF convert and print all of your emails (as well as any WhatsApps sent to 07974 293 022) and then deliver them right to the saloon.

What do you get when you cross a mad dad with a donkey? It’s the question we’ve all been asking, and on today’s podcast we finally get the answer: one of the great mad dad stories of all time, a stone-cold hall of famer.

Walking over broken glass at Wembley Stadium for Adrian Chiles (and Dion Dublin) is also covered, as is heating up a fajita on a shin, and Chloe Petts is on hand to dole out some questionable advice.

Have you got a mad dad? Did you have a night out on £5 in 1993? Has a boxer ever been kind to you? Then email the show on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

Move over Geraint Thomas, there are some new Welsh thighs on the cycling scene. Elis’s heroic cycle ride to Brighton is picked over and analysed, as is his newfound insatiable appetite, and his muscle-related chat that bores a fellow 5 Live presenter.

In a surprising turn of events we also get one step closer to identifying the graffiti artist Banksy, we hear from a listener who has the ‘ultimate head’, and the Petty Parliament moves ever closer to the autocracy we all feared it could become.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

If podcasts were countries, and episodes were drivers, then this iteration of Elis and John would be covering a hell of a lot of ground. One minute it’s loco coco dads, the next it’s a deep dive into the Gibraltar national football team. And between them you’ve got shy builders, biro yachts, and a cappella jingles.

Solving your dilemmas has become one of our main priorities, and this week is no different. Matthew Crosby is on hand to help a band member in need, where for some reason the question ‘do you want to be a slimy juggler’ is part of the solution.

Keen to share something with the BBC’s youngest broadcasters? Send us an email today on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Elis is hoisted by his own genetic petard today. For he and Isy have combined to create the perfect journalistic lampooner. And he has nowhere to hide.

Amidst such blindsiding, the idea of John at a music festival paints a vivid picture and we hear of 2kg of coffee bean consumption to prove a point.

Get involved with the show via email on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. Whether it’s your Shames, Mad Dads or Made Up Games. You can also reach the boys on WhatsApp on 07974 293 022. Just save the number in your phone contacts and it should then show on the app.

The Euros are kicking off but Elis is sad. Because due to penalties, rather than being on the lash with the lads and girls of Swansea, Rhyl and Pontypridd, he’s in a studio in London. But that’s not to say he can’t have a ruddy good time with his less Welsh pals.

And they get down to some right old fun. Producer Dave doesn’t have faith in a temporary sporting feature resurrection due to ‘topicality in a pre-recorded landscape’ and one third of the greatest beans on Earth (excluding Sean Bean) joins to solve a dilemma.

What’s the means of contacting us with your great and good correspondence, chat and musings? Well it’s mailto:elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk of course. Or it’s WhatsApp on 07974 293 022 or whack it in a St Bernard’s barrel and send them on their way.

We’re heading towards quite frankly Australian levels of being rattled on today’s Made Up Game as another game format comes under the microscope of two players who simply want to be given the win.

Elis is also distracted by the past - shock - and Producer Dave actually wants the boys to get *more* political?! A bold move given the ‘Secretary of State for Getting Ready For The Weekend’s’ role as de-politiciser in chief.

Throw your stories and feature contributions our way at elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. Or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp if you’re living in the 23rd century.

Today’s show is a titanic showdown between two arch-nemeses. It’s Disraeli against Gladstone, it’s David versus Goliath, it’s The Rumble in the Jungle; it’s Elis James facing up to his footballing rival Nish Kumar. Sparks fly, scores are settled, and a listener’s dilemma is answered (sort of) in the process.

It’s also an episode that seeks to teach as well as entertain. And if learning that we should be writing big messages on big melons isn’t enough education for you, we’re not sure what is. Plus, Britain’s youngest broadcasters lament the clothing choices of their fellow young people.

Keep your scintillating messages of mad daddery, eating challenge crazies, and everything in between coming in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or on WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

If you've ever seen the film Stepbrothers then the behaviour exhibited by man-children Ferrell and C. Reilly isn't so far removed from today's Made Up Game. A very simple premise is put through the wringer, testing Producer Dave to his limits.

There's also accusations of inter-show ideas transfer, a goat chop half marathon and Elis is slap bang in his wheelhouse for these week's global Dave.

If there's anything you want to contribute to the show then your options are as follows: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email or 07974 293 022 on Whatsapp.

One of the great comedy gameshow performers is in the house as Taskmaster concludes. Whether that’s Robins, or one of his other competitors who came out on top, we’re not willing to spoil via an episode description.

Dig deep and you’ll also hear some fascinating stats that really illuminate the psyche of Robins, what not to say to a horse person, and there’s an extraordinary exclusive about the Blue Peter garden.

If you want to send anything to the boys then it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. We’re thoroughly replete with excellent LGC (Listener Generated Content) right now.

Elis and John embark on their 1,000 hours of political podcasting over the next 5 weeks, much to Producer Dave’s dismay. Which is quite an incredible aim given the short timescales at play here.

But today’s show is of the unclothed variety as the boys chat being naked whilst John’s seen a film with more willies than the average cinema fare. Plus there are some bold assertions thrown around in the current operating house of this nation, the Petty Parliament.

If you want to get in touch with the show with everything from your Mad Dads to general entertaining musings then fire it across to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. You can also WhatsApp on 07974 293 022. Save the number in your contacts and then message the show straight from the app.

Dave’s back not with a vengeance, but for an absolute bumper buffet of an episode. For there’s not one, but TWO new features. Oh we do spoil you, but that's all we're telling you. A little tease. But no more.

And by our reckoning this edition features the most car brands crowbarred in out of any episode we’ve ever done, which is quite some achievement.

Everything from your weird fathers to your mammoth eating achievements, it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. We simply cannot stress enough that we want to be wading through correspondence until we’re practically drowning in electronic mail.

Well, well, well. Every so often the old gal which is Made Up Games throws a grenade into the mix. And does it lead to drama? You bet ya it does as sparks fly.

We’re still operating in a Daveless Zone as he launches his online whiskey company / goes walking in the Lake District - delete as to what’s believable. With the Masterman away there's a googly received at the 80 Daves crease and elsewhere Elis is humiliated on the football field.

The quality of correspondence is *superb* at the moment. So whether it’s your Mad Dads or a dilemma to be solved by the boys then get it in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp us on 07974 293 022

It’s a podcast-first first as Elis and John enter the unknown: Cheadle Hulme’s most handsome producer is absent, leaving the unproduceables unproduced. It’s Elis and John unleashed. But digital Dave is on hand to provide some podcasting tips, should the boys completely forget how to broadcast.

Fish fingers are another main course, as a listener answers the age old question of how many of the breaded delights can be eaten in one sitting. Dads are of course up to their mad tricks, and a comedian friend drops by to answer a listener's dilemma.

Also you can watch ‘So Many Reasons’, the Taylor Swift John Robins breakup song by Charlene Kaye, in full right here: www.bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn or on the BBC Sounds YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@BBCSounds

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

A huge moment for both Swifties and Red Breasts alike, for today’s the day we hear the hit new single about “What if Taylor Swift broke up with a Bristolian comic who specialises in emotional heft.”

The crowds are in and the red carpet is out, as despite Elis and John seemingly confusing a first play with a film premiere, this is an occasion. Elsewhere a listener sends in another wonderful Made Up Games jingle BUT it must pass the discerning ear of Johnny JR.

If you want to check out our songwriter, and her shows / work, it’s the very funny and talented Charlene Kaye. Just give her a Google.

To get in touch with the show then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp 07974 293 022 are the places to go.

All sorts of achievements flying around on the show. Some aural and others gastronomic as the boys reflect on a great night at the big radio awards as well as John's food consumption.

We check in on how the Swift x Robins masterpiece is coming together and also answer the question, "Should you clap 180 nominees?" A Q that all of the high fliers in various industries will be asking.

If you want to slip us a note then it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or save the show WhatsApp number (07974 293 022) in your contacts and message in whenever.

‘Smorgasbord’ is a word frequently deployed to describe the Elis and John podcast. A buffet-style meal of Swedish origin which is typically celebratory with guests also to help themselves from a range of dishes laid out for their choice.

And though there’s not a Swede in sight, there is a veritable buffet of delectable content on today’s show to pick through on the table.

A chilled open sandwich of teenage Shame here, an anecdote delicacy to cut through the weight there. Pass the hors d’oeuvres bums across the table and a helping of inventive songwriting suggestions to top that.

Do you want to get in touch with the show? Is *all* correspondence read? The answer to both of those Qs is ‘yes’. So send it all to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or on Whatsapp 07974 293 022. (Save the number in your contacts and message the show whenever wherever).

Knees are shaking and pulses are racing as none other than international superstar model David Gandy stops by for a chat to answer all of Elis and John’s questions about modelling. Confronted with such handsomeness, how does everyone cope? Well, Elis ‘feels things’, John swears, and Dave’s glasses steam up.

An unwell and remote John goes fully digital, a listener wins a marathon, and Elis’s commentating skills shine once again.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

The boys are beset by worries this week: John is in a tizz over whether his faulty car will be covered its warranty, and Elis is suspicious that the neighbours are talking about him and his newly-scratched car behind his back. Thankfully these worries are soothed by scorching anecdotes about trying to smoke a cigar, and getting sacked from a mid-afternoon quiz show for looking too sad.

Producer Dave’s willpower meets its match in a packet of chocolate biscuits, English accents are hidden from Scottish schoolchildren, and another Dave extols the virtues of living abroad.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Today’s episode tackles the Big Questions, but only if by Big Questions you mean specifically: what spotted insect is causing John to yelp in bed? Would Elis or John have thrived on a 19th century whaling vessel? And how would John’s life change if he started going out with one of the most famous women in the world?

As usual, motorways feature, Elis gets lampooned for missing out on seeing one of John’s musical heroes live, and we all learn a valuable lesson: when a podcast matters, John matters.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

If you thought this show was your safe space away from pop behemoth Taylor Swift’s single handed takeover of popular culture then sadly you’d be wrong. For it’s Swiftmas Day (well if you view this in a linear fashion rather than circular) and John’s neck deep in it.

Also the reverberations of Elis stepping on John’s turf continue to ripple through gains space and time, whilst the question of pâté comes under the spotlight.

If you’ve got any crucial information that simply must see the light of day then to get in touch it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

What do the blue touch paper and the switchboards have in common? They’ve both been lit, that’s what. Elis and John have been inundated with some of our greatest set of emails EVER! And in that the models flow in like it's fashion week; from snacks to footwear, from 1940s yearning women to teenage graffitiing delinquents. This episode has them all.

Elsewhere, things get racy, Elis’s newfound gym buff status comes under heavy fire, and John is rocked to his very core by some news at Junction 16 on the M4.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Once the Welsh football media spring dries up Elis needs a retirement plan. Thanks to his dashing good looks there is only one viable alternative: international modelling. The boys thus get the lowdown on all things posing from the most handsome man they've ever chatted to.

We also play a Made Up Game where Elis is restricted to levels previously unexperienced and we've got two of the masters of tasks in the studio today.

If you want to get in touch with the show then here's how: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

If this show doesn’t become the go-to running podcast of 2024, we’re not sure what will. For all the on-foot 'experts' pumping out mid-level content NONE of them will cover big bones, being overtaken by your mum or exercising your big toes.

But fear not, it’s not all the 'Pounding the P-odcast'. Elis takes to the metaphorical Mastermind chair in a grilling that he was born to do and the boys finally speak to a mythical figure.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Tuesdays used to mean the odd Champions League fixture and Holby City. Now they mean podcasts. More specifically this one, and on today's show a giddiness has descended on the studio. The boys are dreaming of things they could do and places they could go for the show: Barbados, a trip to Europe's largest folk museum, or "wearing unitards and beating each other up" are all equally exciting and viable options.

Elsewhere there's a sexy Shame and we may even get a sequel to "It Floats Ladies".

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Take a tired Elis James, add an ill John Robins, and weirdly, you get a blummin' great show. Expect S of the P stuff, along with all the usual features including Shame Well, a belting Made Up Game and a fascinating Unsung Hero. Enjoy! #content.

Hilarious, warm and unashamedly ashamed, their award-winning chemistry will get you over the finish line of the working week.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

This week Elis basks in the glory of Wales's Euro success, John sails close to the general election wind, and we welcome a Glastonbury-related Unsung Hero onto the show. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Welcome to the 25th instalment of EJ&JR on BBCR5L! Where does the time go? This week, we play a Made Up Game that has its own jingle, a Queen-based game goes wrong, and Producer Dave has some big news.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Separated by 200 miles, but united through great chat, Elis and John deliver another belter of show from London and Salford respectively.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Elis and John come from East London for BBC Music Introducing Live today. It was S of your P stuff at times (will make sense if you listen), but with performances from Cass McCombs and ZUZU, lots of fun was had. Enjoy!

Available now on BBC Sounds, a brand new podcast with Elis and John called How Do You Cope? Episode 1 is with former doctor turned stand-up Adam Kay about the stress and how he coped as a junior doctor in the NHS. Search for “How Do You Cope?” on BBC Sounds, or visit bbc.co.uk/cope for more information on the series.

Elis and John return for another week of fun, where they speak to the woman who photographed a lot of the Gallagher brother fights, John tells us about his latest trip to the doctors and Elis talks about a white lie he told which involves David Bowie. Enjoy!

Elis and John return for another week of fun, where they talk to the inventor of Bluetooth, John discusses his Hunted fantasy, and the perils of brushing your teeth on the toilet. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

If you've always wanted to hear friend-of-the-show Josh Widdicombe discuss the existence of a lesser-spotted food item in Pret's airport outlets, then this is the podcast episode you've been waiting for. There's also the usual fun with Made Up Games, Shame Well and The Weirdness Amnesty. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

The boys are back with another incredible Weirdness Amnesty, a Van Morrison love in with Kermode and Mayo, and a lot of disdain for sat navs. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

A busy show today, as Elis geeks out with footy kit designer Rob, Dave's mum gets it wrong in church, and there's scandal during this week's Made Up Game.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Due to other 5 Live factors (the Rugby World Cup), we bring you just 50% of the usual two hour show this week, but fear not! We've really tried our best to cram in just as much top notch #content as usual. Enjoy.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

The boys are back in London this week, and come armed with not one, but two new features! Plus Simon Mayo proves that he's just as weird as the rest of us. #16 is dedicated to Producer Dave's sister, Vicki Thomas. Enjoy.

John and Elis come live from Bristol, with guests including ex-footballer Danny Gabbidon and golfer Bronte Law. Plus we’re treated to a slew of Bristol-based facts from John that vary in quality. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins return to the comfy London studio after 4 weeks in the BBC Compound at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This week we had another dehumidifier/air con unit revelation and we have a horrific Shame Well concerning a web cam.

It’s the fourth and final week at the Edinburgh Festival for Elis James and John Robins, and they’re going out with a guest-filled bang! Lou Sanders, Ivo Graham and Sunil Patel create an anarchic 'last day at school' vibe, whilst the boys also ask 'When did you get it wrong with your hero'. It’s a busy one, so please do listen responsibly.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

It’s show three of four for Elis and John live from the Edinburgh Festival, and this week - along with guests Ed Gamble and David O’Doherty - there was a cringeworthy Scottish Shame Well, an unexpected victory in Made Up Games, and a lot of talk about odd things you find in a new home. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins come to you live from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and are joined by brilliant comedians Sarah Kendall and Suzi Ruffell.

For the first time ever we have the Elis O’Clock News and we delve into the deep depths of John’s Shame Well. Enjoy!

Elis James and John Robins come to you live from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and are joined by mates Matt Forde and Al Murray.

Away from the wonderful guests, John reveals his encyclopaedic knowledge of Chris de Burgh, the team rue their curry choices from the night before, and we all enjoy a Made Up Game all about balls. Enjoy!

Elis James and John Robins return to the airwaves after three weeks away (bonus podcasts are available), with this week's edition including John's cricket fantasy, more frantic wheel-spinning and - due to the unique way the BBC is funded - a lot of vague Edinburgh chat.

Elis James and John Robins bring you yet another bonus podcast, from your friend and mine, the pub!

Today's hard-hitting topics include the art of safe cycling, crisps, and a special pub-based Made-Up Game called 'Play Your Casks Right'.

Enjoy!

Another offering of extra fun, as Elis James and John Robins bring you another bonus podcast. This week, in a reversal of last week's episode, Elis pops round to John's house. Expect the usual listener questions, a look around 'Grief Mansions', and John's Show and Tell.

In a change to usual proceedings, this week's bonus Elis James and John Robins Podcast comes from Elis's dining room! So, if you want to know what his partner Isy got him for his 30th birthday, how he arranges his books, and what kind of mood John was in when he arrived, listen on.

Join Elis James and John Robins for more nonsensical fun, including Skoda Fabia pronunciation, confusing parking spaces and John's dream day at the cricket. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins bring the laughs to 5 Live once more including John's crush on James Anderson, an incredibly unfortunate Shame Well, and possibly too much motorway chat.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Another action-packed show from Elis James and John Robins, with this week's hot topics including wedding commutes, fragrant comedians, and the fact that Elis has never heard of the M2 motorway. Enjoy!

elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

It's show two for new boys Elis James and John Robins, and with them they bring news of unfortunate injuries, Producer Dave's diary entries, and a Grime MC called Yizzy. A mixed bag to say the least, but all top quality #content.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

It’s show one for Elis James and John Robins, and it didn’t disappoint. From rodent advice to topless presenters, Fridays on 5 Live now have a very different sound.

Ahead of their brand new show on BBC Radio 5 Live, get to know Elis James and John Robins a little better with this introductory podcast teaser.

A new John Robins has emerged. Move over Brains and Colin Firth in 'A Single Man' for there's a new doyenne of eyewear fashion. And with such style and grace he's also become a fount of knowledge on how best to wear one's specs. And Robins isn't the only podcast host dipping his toes into the haute couture world, as Elis is spotted modelling in the city of lights, Paris.

The boys muse on names that could work as service stations, and there’s a humdinger of a listener anecdote from one of the North West's premier late-2000s leisure centres.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

The lovely Lou Sanders is in the studio and brings along her wonderfully chaotic aura.

Oh and it's dead bus-eh. There's another hands on Made Up Game, Lou's not getting any traction on her socials and a caller deals out not just one but TWO harrowing stories.

If you want to get in touch with the show about anything whatsoever then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

It’s a two hander today as John and Dave fly solo. But that isn’t to say that we’re not bursting at the seams with top stuff.

There’s more cloud developments, John reflects on sobriety nearly a year on from his How Do You Cope chat with Elis, and the brief to wish 5 Live a Happy Birthday is broadly fulfilled.

It’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022 for all your bits.

5 Live is 30 Years Old. A milestone indeed but it makes the station even more criminally young than our presenters. So Elis and John celebrate by looking back at the history of the UK's favourite (and potentially only) dedicated news and sport station.

We also chat to an adamantly Dave-shunning David, and John, much to everyone's shock, pokes holes in a Made Up Game... which was created by an 11-year-old.

If you want to get in touch with the show about anything whatsoever then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

John Robins is an analogue guy. There's no one on earth whose life is more dictated by paper than he. So today John digs into his worst nightmare: 'the cloud'.

The boys also hear from a listener who had a podcast-adjacent brush with death and there's more sausage while you wait chat.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Never has the mood at Elis and John HQ been more nervous or excitable. For it is a momentous day. The Hoff himself, coffee expert and YouTuber James Hoffman, is on the show. And the boys have as many questions as there are beans in the world.

And more importantly we'll find out, under Espresso making levels of pressure, who definitively makes the best coffee as judged by the coffee king him sen.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Have you ever wondered how our hosts would fare as children’s podcast presenters? Well thanks to today’s fun and games, now we know! And it’s as fascinating as you’d imagine.

Elsewhere, Producer Dave tries to single-handedly bring down the state secondary school education system, and in what is surely a digital first, the team discuss which celebrities look the cleanest.

We’re a month into the Great Reset and Elis and John are so into the swing of things that they’re practically Tarzan and Jane swinging through the Digital Jungle. John is Tarzan due to his ripped physique and long arms suitable for vine grabbing. Elis is Jane due to his dainty disposition and ability to flutter his eyelashes.

And the boys’ suitably good form provides a backdrop to a (quite literally) dream game, a wild inductee to the 80 Daves pantheon and the thoughts of being lowered six feet under to daytime TV themes.