Pure Sex Radio

In this episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I dive into the complexities of personal growth, focusing on how childhood experiences shape adult behavior. We discuss insights from the "Gateway to Freedom" workshop, emphasizing the importance of recognizing our own choices while understanding the influences of our upbringing. 

I admire Stephen’s work on DoctorMarriage.org and how he offers practical tools and tips for men wanting to live a full life of integrity. In our conversation, we explore themes of belonging, identity, and the emotional struggles many face. We highlight the coexistence of sadness and hope, encouraging listeners to embrace self-discovery and seek support for healing and transformation. 

To get daily insights from Stephen, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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In this episode, we chat with the amazing Elizabeth Woning about her incredible journey of faith and sexuality. Elizabeth, once an openly lesbian woman who attended seminary, shares her experiences reconciling her sexuality with her faith in God. 

We delve into her transformative encounters with God, the challenges of navigating faith within the LGBTQ+ community, and the importance of self-acceptance in light of the gospel. Elizabeth's story highlights the power of experiencing God's love and the ongoing journey of understanding one's true identity. Her insights offer hope and guidance for anyone grappling with similar issues. Join us for this earnest and enlightening conversation!

For more information about Elizabeth and her movement, visitChangedMovement.com.

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In this episode, I chat with Phil and Priscilla Fretwell about their incredible journey of healing and redemption from sexual brokenness in their marriage. They are the founders of Savage Marriage Ministries and help other couples overcome their past and fight for their future.

In our conversation, Phil opens up about his long-term struggle with pornography and the devastating impact it had on their relationship. Priscilla shares her raw emotions of betrayal and anger, and how she found the strength to forgive. Together, they highlight the importance of honesty, vulnerability, and seeking help. Their story is a powerful reminder that even in the darkest times, transformation and healing are possible through faith and open communication.

To learn more about Phil and Priscilla and their ministry, visitSavageMarriageMinistries.com.

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In this episode, I welcome Sam Jolman, a therapist, author, and father, to discuss his book, "The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality." Sam shares his journey into counseling, emphasizing the importance of meaningful conversations about sexuality. 

We explore the impact of shame and purity culture, and the distinction between normal arousal and lust. Sam highlights the need for competent counseling and open dialogue to foster a healthier understanding of men's sexual formation. This episode is a heartfelt call to reclaim the beauty and complexity of human sexuality as God designed it.

To learn more about Sam and the book, visitSamJolman.com.

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In this episode, I welcome back Lyschel Burket, an expert in helping women heal from betrayal trauma, especially in marriages affected by infidelity. Lyschel shares her personal journey and emphasizes the importance of community, safety, and communication in the healing process. 

We discuss the unique emotional challenges women face after betrayal and the critical role of support and understanding from both partners and their community. Lyschel also highlights the spiritual aspect of healing, stressing how Christ provides hope and safety during suffering and grief. It’s a heartfelt conversation aimed at offering solace and guidance to those traveling this difficult path. 

To learn more about Lyschel and her resources for wives, visitHopeRedefined.org.

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In this episode, we invite back Dr. Jennifer Degler, a clinical psychologist and marriage expert, to talk about making sex pleasurable and fun again, especially for couples dealing with betrayal or brokenness. 

Dr. Degler shares her insights on the importance of pleasure within God's design for sex and offers practical steps for re-engaging with intimacy after betrayal. We discuss the necessity of communication, mindfulness, and sensory exploration to rebuild trust and enjoyment in sexual relationships. Jennifer’s tips and insightful anecdotes provide a refreshing perspective on rekindling passion and connection in marriage.

To learn more about Dr. Degler and her resources, visitJenniferDegler.com.

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In this episode, I’m so excited to chat with Gigi Hopkins, our Wives Care Director, and Andrea Stunz, our Marketing Manager and Wives Care Aftercare Coordinator, about our new online resource, "40 Days of Healing for Wives." This course is crafted to support women dealing with the pain of betrayal in their marriages, especially sexual betrayal. 

We dive into the course's development, its structure, and the importance of pacing and journaling. Gigi and Andrea share heartfelt insights on fostering healing, the power of community support, and how faith plays a crucial role in the healing journey for wives.

To learn more and enroll in the course, visitPureLifeAcademy.org.

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In this episode, we dive into the emotional struggles men face, especially those recovering from addiction. We explore the concept of "Mr. Unemotional," describing men who find it hard to express their feelings due to past experiences or societal pressures. 

Stephen Cervantes and I discuss the importance of emotional growth alongside behavioral recovery. We share insights on how men can better understand and articulate their emotions, emphasizing the need for openness and support from partners and friends. The episode highlights the journey toward emotional maturity, encouraging men to embrace change for deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

For daily insights from Stephen, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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In this episode, I have back on the program our delightful friend and colleague Dr. Joy Skarka to talk about her new book, "Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy," co-authored with Dr. Juli Slattery. Joy shares her personal journey and the mission of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to helping individuals reclaim God's design for sexuality. 

We discuss the unique challenges women face with pornography, the importance of understanding God's unconditional love, and the journey toward sexual integrity – which emphasizes the power of truth, engaging community, and sharing one's story to overcome shame and find lifelong healing.

For more info about Joy, the book, and the ministry, visitAuthenticIntimacy.com.

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In this episode, I chat with three amazing leaders from Prodigals International: Steve Dulaney, president of Prodigals, Sam Louie, a licensed mental health counselor, and Fausto Estrada, one of their group leaders. Steve shares how Prodigals International began as a faith-based support group for men struggling with sexual addiction and intimacy disorders, emphasizing the importance of community and accountability. Sam opens up about his journey from addiction to recovery, influenced by his background as an Asian immigrant. He highlights how group therapy and supportive mentors transformed his life. Fausto shares his recovery story and how it has culminated in him now leading a Spanish language support group for Prodigals. 

Together, we explore the power of faith, personal stories, and cultural context in overcoming addiction and fostering recovery. I trust this conversation will inspire you in your own journey of pursuing greater integrity.

To learn more about Prodigals International, please visitProdigalsInternational.org.

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In this episode, I chat with Mike Novotny, pastor, speaker, and author of "Taboo: Topics Christians Should Be Talking About But Don't." We dive into sensitive subjects like anxiety, depression, addiction, and especially sexuality within the Christian community. 

Mike shares his personal journey of overcoming pornography addiction and stresses the importance of open discussions in the church. We explore God's design for sex, emphasizing that understanding and obeying biblical truths can lead to healing and transformation. Mike encourages listeners to seek grace, find trustworthy confidants, and take steps toward wholeness in Christ.

To learn more about Mike, his book, and other gospel resources, visitTimeofGrace.org.

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In this episode, I welcome Sarah Siegand to the program, co-founder of Parents Who Fight and an expert in helping parents navigate technology's impact on children. We dive into the importance of modeling healthy tech habits, delaying access to devices, and educating parents about online safety. Sarah shares her personal journey, emphasizing the need for intentionality in family tech use. 

We discuss the five phases of tech training: 

ModelingDelayingProtectingMonitoringReleasing

Sarah provides practical tips and insights, aiming to empower parents to create a safe and balanced digital environment for their kids. It's a thoughtful conversation filled with valuable advice for modern parenting.

To learn more about Sarah and the resources she offers, visitParentsWhoFight.com.

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In this episode, Joel Warneking shares his profound journey through addiction and recovery. Joel is the director of 423 Communities, a ministry that is radically committed to helping others overcome all forms of unhealthy sexuality, restoring healthy sexuality and intimacy with others through, confessional, recovery communities. 

Joel opens up about his own history of pornography addiction and the isolating shame that came with it. He highlights how group work was crucial in his healing process, emphasizing the importance of community, grace, and accountability. We explore the essentials of a supportive group environment, the balance between grace and structure, and the need for action in recovery. Joel’s story and insights remind us that recovery thrives in the context of supportive relationships.

To learn more about Joel and his ministry’s resources, visit 423Communities.org.

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In this episode, our guest Brad Warren shares his incredible journey of overcoming a troubled past, including struggles with pornography and infidelity. Brad opens up about the profound impact these issues had on his marriage and how he and his wife, Kristen, found healing. 

We dive into the transformative power of the Hope Rising Conference, a virtual conference for couples dealing with similar challenges. Brad shares how their recovery led them both to pursue careers in counseling, aiming to help others navigate their paths to healing. This episode is a testament to hope, honesty, and the power of God’s grace.

To learn about the Hope Rising Conference, visitAffairRecovery.com/hope-rising.

To learn more about Brad and Kristen’s counseling practice, visitRestfulMindTherapy.com.

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In this episode, I chat with Dr. Carol Tanksley, a ministry friend and author of the book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships.  

We dive into the complexities of sexuality, intimacy, and how personal and cultural experiences shape these aspects of our lives. Dr. Tanksley shares her personal journey of learning about sexuality and intimacy, emphasizing the importance of addressing heart issues and healing from past wounds. We discuss the difference between intimacy and sexuality, the necessity of community support, and the concept of sexual wholeness. Finally, Dr. Carol offers practical advice on creating an escape plan for temptations and highlights the transformative power of faith and vulnerability.

To learn more about Carol and her resources, visitYourSexpectations.com.

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My apologies for the poor audio quality of this episode. I hope it won’t distract too much from the content. 

In this episode, Stephen and I talk about the power of "co," meaning "together" or "jointly," in relationships and recovery. We dive into how collaboration and connection are essential for personal growth and healing, especially in marriage and overcoming addiction. 

Dr. Cervantes shares insights on co-parenting, co-planning, and co-nurturing, emphasizing that love and community are vital for a fulfilling life. We also discuss the church's role in fostering a sense of belonging and unity. Join us as we explore how embracing "co" can transform our lives and relationships.

For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

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In this episode, I’m joined by Stacey Fitzgerald, who shares her profound journey through betrayal trauma and her path to healing. Stacey opens up about the resurfacing of her trauma in 2021, describing intense physical symptoms like panic attacks and a racing heart. She emphasizes the importance of feeling safe and regulating the nervous system. 

Stacey’s healing process involved spiritual, emotional, and physical approaches, including prayer, music, and understanding the mind-body connection. Now, she helps other women navigate similar experiences through her platform, "Becoming Safe." 

To learn more about Stacey and her resources, visitBecomingSafe.com.

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In this heartfelt episode, I chat with Kate and Will Conwell about their journey through betrayal trauma and healing in their marriage. Kate shares her work with "Journey Beyond Betrayal," a ministry supporting women facing similar struggles. Will opens up about his past issues with sexual brokenness and infidelity, and how these impacted their relationship. We explore the importance of sharing personal stories for healing and connection and the crucial role of faith in recovery. This episode is all about offering hope and encouragement to couples dealing with betrayal trauma. If this is you, you aren’t alone!

To learn more about Kate and her resources for wives, visitJourneyBeyondBetrayal.com.

To learn more about 423 Men’s groups, visit423Communities.org.

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In this episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I dive into the theme of emotional growth and the importance of relationships among men. We start by sharing some personal stories about our dads and male role models, highlighting how men often prioritize being providers over nurturing emotional connections. 

A key highlight of this episode features a movie character from ourGateway to Freedom workshop, who realizes his potential after being told, "You could have been great." This statement is loaded with powerful insights for men when they realize their lives are running on the wrong tracks. We want men to experience their full potential as image bearers of God; to know him fully and love others deeply.

For daily insights from Stephen, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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In this episode, I welcome back Cat Etherington, the director of recovery at the Naked Truth Project. We explore the profound impact of betrayal trauma on wives and the journey towards healing and forgiveness. Cat explains the stages of healing: 

She emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, not as a pressured obligation but as a personal outcome of healing. We also discuss how friends and family can provide tangible support during this difficult time. 

For more information on Cat and her resources, visitnakedtruthproject.com.

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ONLY 1 WEEK LEFT TO DOUBLE YOUR GIFT!

Thanks to a generous donor, we can offer a $75,000 match for gifts given between May 1 through July 31. Every dollar you give, collectively up to $75,000, will be DOUBLED!

Give Today and double your impact. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I welcome back Pastor Marty Machowski to discuss the pressing issue of identity, particularly sexual identity. Marty shares his experiences counseling families whose children are grappling with gender and sexual orientation issues. He highlights the rapid acceleration of these challenges and introduces his book, "God Made Boys and Girls," as a resource for parents. 

We delve into the impact of public education on children's understanding of identity, the importance of grounding identity in biblical truth, and the need for compassionate, open conversations between parents and children. 

Marty also shares insights from his support group, "Affirmed," offering hope and practical guidance for families.

To learn more about Marty and his resources for parents, visitMartyMachowski.com.

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DOUBLE YOUR GIFT!

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In this episode, I welcome back Carol Juergensen Sheets, better known as Carol the Coach, a certified sex addiction therapist. We reminisce about her last appearance in March 2020, where we focused on empathy for husbands. Carol shares her journey since 2007, emphasizing the importance of empathy in all relationships. 

She introduces her Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM), which involves working with both partners from the start to foster post-traumatic growth. Carol explains the role of empathy in healing from infidelity, highlighting the long-term process and the need for genuine understanding. She also provides resources for couples seeking support and offers a hopeful message for those on their healing journey.

To learn more about Carol and her resources, visitSexHelpWithCarolTheCoach.com.

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In this episode, I chat with Crystal Renaud Day about the SHE Virtual Recovery Summit, a transformative event for women battling unwanted sexual behaviors like pornography addiction. Crystal shares her personal journey and insights from years of ministry, emphasizing the importance of surrender, accountability, and community in recovery. 

We discuss the summit's role in providing a safe, supportive space for women and even teens to find healing and resources. Crystal's passion for helping women shines through, and we invite listeners to join the summit and take steps toward wholeness in Christ.

To learn more about the SHE Summit and register, visitSheRecovery.com.

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DOUBLE YOUR GIFT!

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In this episode, Stephen and I dive into the journey of emotional self-awareness, especially for men – and offer a simple test to measure self-awareness. We explore the different levels of self-awareness, from complete unawareness to deep emotional understanding. 

Stephen shares his inspiration for creating this self-awareness test, aiming to help men gauge their emotional awareness so they can continue toward greater awareness and maturity. We discuss how family history shapes emotional patterns and the importance of recognizing triggers. 

Our conversation emphasizes the significance of aligning with the Holy Spirit and striving for emotional maturity. 

For more insight from Stephen, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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In this episode, Stephen and I dive into the journey of emotional maturity and self-awareness. We explore how childhood experiences shape adult behavior and emphasize the importance of recognizing and addressing emotional immaturity. Our conversation highlights the role of grief in self-discovery and the impact of critical parenting on self-criticism. 

Stephen and I stress the need for honesty, vulnerability, and self-reflection in achieving emotional growth and maturity. We encourage listeners to embrace uncertainty and seek support, underscoring that emotional maturity is a continuous process of growth and understanding.

For more insights from Dr. Cervantes, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

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In this episode, I welcome back Dan Drake and introduce Janice Caudill, both experts in therapeutic disclosure for marriages affected by sexual betrayal. We dive into the importance of truth in healing relationships, discussing how disclosure helps rebuild trust. 

In our conversation, Dan and Jaunice walk us through the disclosure process, emphasizing the impact of betrayal, readiness for disclosure, tailored approaches, the “choreography” of disclosure, and the post-disclosure phase that highlights potential obstacles when rebuilding trust. 

To get access to Dan and Janice’s resources, visitKintsugiRecoveryPartners.com.

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In today's episode, I have a heart-to-heart with Stephen Cervantes about the journey of recovery. We dive into how it's more than just getting back on your feet; it's about pausing, finding stability, and reaching out for a helping hand. But that's not the end of the road! 

Recovery is this beautiful bridge to an exciting phase of self-discovery and growth. Together, we unpack the deeper mission that lies ahead—embracing the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and getting to know ourselves better. 

So, if you're curious about turning a new leaf and finding purpose post-recovery, this chat is for you. Join us as we explore these transformative steps to a fuller, love-filled life!

For daily insights from Stephen, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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In today’s episode, we have Vern Tompke back with us. Vern is our Canadian pastor and coach who helps other pastors and men break free from unwanted sexual behaviors. 

We talked about the three key stages of recovery, which are: 

Breaking the habitAddressing the deep-seated issues of the heart and mindRecalibrating sexuality to enjoy the abundant life Christ offers

Whether you are just starting your recovery journey or years into it, Vern’s wisdom is a beacon of hope. And we mention lots of really good resources that will help you along the way, which we will include in the show notes. 

To learn more about Vern and his resources, visit BandofBrothers.care.

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The Selfishness Addiction– Yes, you read that right. We're diving deep into how an addiction to selfishness can shape our behaviors and strain our relationships. We’re peeling back the layers of why we sometimes confuse self-preservation with self-centeredness.

Understanding Freedom– We start by exploring the true meaning of freedom. It's not just about breaking free from unwanted behaviors like porn addiction; it's about finding peace, rest, and joy. We're talking about aligning with the soul's fundamental needs, as taught by Jesus himself.

From Selfish to Selfless– We've all been there, right? Putting ourselves first, fast, and completely. But here's the kicker: the more we focus on ourselves, the less satisfied we feel. It's a paradox that we unpack with humor, honesty, and a touch of humility.

A New Perspective– Imagine realizing that your whole life has been a race to put yourself first, only to end up feeling empty. That's the story of a Christian brother who woke up to his selfishness addiction. It's a powerful moment of vulnerability that might just change the way you see your own life.

Growth and Healing– This episode isn't just about identifying the problem; it's about finding the path to healing. We discuss the importance of taking small steps towards giving, towards others, and towards a life filled with genuine connection.

So, if you've ever felt caught in the cycle of coping and surviving rather than truly living, this episode is for you. It's time to break free from the chains of selfishness and step into a life of selfless joy.

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Shawna Meek, founder of Living Stones Coaching, joins us to share her incredible journey through marriage, divorce, and unexpected reconciliation. Shawna opens up about the challenges she faced in her relationship, from communication breakdowns to confronting her husband's infidelity – and learning how his previously undiagnosed neurodiversity impacted his sexual brokenness and their marriage. 

Shawna then shares about setting boundaries, the importance of individual growth, and how she and her husband both worked on themselves to rebuild trust. 

Her story is a testament to the complexities of love and the resilience and faith needed to navigate them. As a result of this journey, Shawna turned her personal trials into a passion for coaching and helping others through their own relationship struggles. 

To learn more about Shawna and her resources, visit LivingStoneCoaching.com.

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I'm thrilled to have the amazing Danisa Suarez back on the program. Today, we're tackling a subject that's really important to a lot of people: women's understanding of their own bodies and sexuality. 

Danisa has put together an incredible e-course called "The Story of Her," (https://ccicourses.org/thestoryofher) and she's here to share why it's so essential for women to recognize and celebrate their unique design and to confidently step into their womanhood. We're not shying away from the difficult topics either—we discuss how to heal from past wounds and pursue a godly approach to sexual fulfillment. Plus, Danisa’s got some solid, actionable tips for anyone looking for support on this path. 

This episode is all about empowering women and deepening their relationship with God. Make sure you don't miss out on Danisa’s valuable insights—follow her on Instagram for more inspiring talks!@danisasuarezoficial

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Why do we fall? This is a deep question and we can’t ever fully answer the “why” questions. But it’s worth the conversation.

In this episode, Stephen and I dive deep into the emotional and spiritual tangles that we all face. We begin by talking about the roots of our emotional programming and then move on to the emotional-spiritual connection and the complexities of stumbling and falling; it’s not just about sin. Emotional maturity is just as vital.

Finally, we aim to provide some practical wisdom for facing emotional pain and the power of community in our healing and recovery journey. Even though we fall, we can get back up!

For daily thoughts to help on this emotional growth journey, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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In this episode, we're hanging out with the dynamic duo, Linda Stewart and Linda Noble, who share their journey and collaborative work in the world of sexual education and theology of the body. 

They tell about their work with the Identity Project, aiming to help parents and families chat about sexuality and relationships in a faith-filled, positive way. The Lindas talk about their own lightbulb moments at the Theology of the Body Institute and how they're now passionate about giving parents the tools to paint a beautiful picture of God's design for their kids. 

They're all about tackling the big questions and easing those parent jitters with resources like their books and workbooks. It's all about building trust, having heart-to-hearts, and guiding the little ones through life's big topics. 

Learn more about the Lindas and their work atIdentityProject.tvandTheConversationWorkshop.com.

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Today’s podcast covers a LOT of territory, including the complexities of masturbation, its connection to our emotional health, and the differences between a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset when it comes to living in victory over sexual sin. 

Our guest today is Matt Cline, founder of Restored Ministries. In our conversation, we explore the significant role emotional well-being plays in navigating sexual brokenness. We emphasize the importance of understanding our emotions to discover genuine happiness and connection. We also explore the intriguing concept of scarcity versus abundance in the context of our sexuality. Matt's perspective on how a scarcity mindset can lead to feelings of isolation is eye-opening, and he highlights how adopting an attitude of gratitude can help us perceive our lives more abundantly.

To cap off the conversation, we point listeners to some valuable resources provided by Restored Ministries, including thePure Freedom Communityand thePure Victory Podcast, which offer support to those on this path. 

To learn more about Matt and his ministry, visitRestoredMinistries.ca.

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In this episode, we have Andrew Arthur back with us to dive deep into the art of active listening. We chat about the common obstacles we face, like distractions and assumptions, that can disrupt our ability to truly hear others, especially in long-term relationships. 

Andrew shares a golden nugget for exceptional listening: asking "What do you need from me right now?" as a way to better support those in emotional need. We even touch on how this skill translates to our spiritual lives, suggesting we quiet our inner chatter to connect with God. 

Wrapping up, we leave you with some practical tips to enhance your listening skills.

To learn more about Andrew and his mediation services, visit GenesisChristianMediation.com.

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On today’s episode, Brian Ellsworth shares his personal journey of trauma, addiction, and recovery. Brian is the new executive director of Living Without Lust, which is a fellowship of men desiring to live with sexual integrity.

Brian discusses his challenging past, sobriety-seeking turning points, and healing through an intensive program. He shares how he went from a crippling addiction to now helping other men break free from unwanted sexual behaviors. The conversation stresses the significance of addressing underlying pain, seeking help, and the continuous process of recovery. 

To learn more about Brian and Living Without Lust, visitLivingWithoutLust.com.

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In this episode, we welcome back Ashley Jameson from Pure Desire Ministries. She helps us understand trauma, addiction, and women's struggles with sex and relationships, shining a light on the importance of transforming our worldly views on sexuality.

Ashley candidly highlights the different ways women grapple with their sexuality. Ranging from matters of toxic relationships to fears of intimacy, her insights and personal journey resonate deeply.

Ashley also explores the negative impact of violent sexual acts in fantasies and media content. She emphasizes the urgent need to redefine our perspective of sexuality as a beautiful and valuable gift from God.

As a wrap-up, Ashley speaks on the far-reaching positive impacts of breaking free from sexual shame on all aspects of life, notably parenting and personal relationships. This powerful conversation will invite women dealing with love, sex, and relationship issues to boldly embark on their individual healing journeys.

To learn more about Ashley and the resources mentioned in this episode, visit PureDesire.org.

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The world, especially in the West, is awash in all forms of sexual brokenness and confusion. And much of this brokenness and confusion is present in the Church. How can we help Christians understand God’s design for sex and live it out in our local churches and communities?

Today we have Daniel Weiss back on the program with us to discuss these issues. Daniel is the president of Sexual Integrity Leaders, a ministry dedicated to equipping, supporting, and collaborating with Christian leaders to promote Gospel-centered sexuality in the Church.

Much of our conversation revolves around the Identity Project, a platform containing many teaching videos from multiple leaders in various arenas of expertise regarding biblical sexuality. We talk about why these teachings are important for every Christian, especially topics like the “image of God,” singlehood and sexuality, and how our true identity is rooted in community.

To learn more about Daniel and Sexual Integrity Leaders, visitSexualIntegrityLeaders.com. 

To learn more about the Identity Project, visitIdentityProject.tv. Use coupon code:IDPSEXUALINTEGRITY10

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Addiction recovery is hard work. It is the process of learning to live in a whole new way apart from old, harmful, compulsive patterns. Such transformation doesn’t happen quickly or without help. 

Our guest today is Mark Denison. He has been on the program several times before and is the co-founder, with his wife Beth, of There’s Still Hope. He joins us to talk about his newest book,Recovery Rules: 100 Truisms that Will Change Everything. Men often need pithy, wise tips to help them on the long road of recovery. 

In our conversation, we highlight several of the truisms, such as: 

If you are looking for some super practical help for your recovery journey, this episode will be very impactful. 

To learn more about Mark and his ministry’s resources, visitTheresStillHope.org.

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Forgiveness is a topic that gets brought up over and over again in the space of healing from betrayal. But before you tune out let me encourage you to stick around for my super practical conversation with Karla Downing on this topic.

Karla is the founder of Change My Relationship and has been on the podcast multiple times to help us think through important relational issues like boundaries and grief. Her many years of experience helping couples in very difficult situations comes out in this interview on forgiveness.

In the episode, Karla gives a robust definition of forgiveness and then walks us througheight practical stepsthat are essential to the process of forgiveness.

To learn more about Karla and her ministry, visitChangeMyRelationship.com.

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Why is confidence important to recovery from addictive patterns? And how is confidence different from arrogance or pride? 

To help us address this topic, we have Dr. Eddie Capparucci back on the program with us. Eddie is certified as a licensed professional counselor and certified in treating sexual and pornography addiction. He has been on the program multiple times to share his expertise and wisdom in the field of addiction recovery. 

In our conversation, we discuss what confidence is, the causes and effects of a lack of confidence, what healthy confidence is rooted in, and how to grow in confidence. If you are a man who wants to grow and mature in your recovery, take notes and apply what Eddie shares in this episode. 

To learn more about Eddie and his resources, visit InnerChild-SexAddiction.com.

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There are many men and women in the Church who struggle with all forms of sexual brokenness, including same-sex sexual desires. How can Christians love and care for those who want freedom from such besetting sins?

In today’s episode, our guest is Garry Ingraham. Garry is the co-founder of Love and Truth Network, a ministry that equips church leaders in restoring biblical sexuality, community, and identity through personalized leadership training, teaching resources, and experiential growth opportunities for personal transformation and supporting others. 

Garry shares his own story of same-sex brokenness and how God drew him out of the dark and into the light. He also shares how God called him into ministry, especially to pastors and helping them with their personal sexual struggles and how to address sexual sin and hope in the local church. 

Finally, Garry has a new book entitledAm I Gaywhich highlights his story and how to navigate sexual confusion with the truth of Christ and the community of fellow Christians. 

To learn more about Garry, his ministry, and the book, visitLoveandTruthNetwork.com.

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Why is pornography such a big deal? This is a common question in the culture, but not necessarily one of alarm, but rather questioning why ministries like ours and many others even exist. Is there any real harm to pornography?

To help us answer these questions we have Nick Stumbo back on the program. Nick is the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries and an author and speaker on sexual issues from a Christian worldview. 

In our conversation, Nick shares many of the negative effects of porn: biological, mental, emotional, and relational. We look at the many unhealthy patterns porn promotes, the natural trajectory of tolerance (both individually and culturally), the linkage between human trafficking and porn, and then how to live free from the negative effects of porn. 

Finally, Nick shares a new video series resource called Living Undefiled that takes an in-depth look at the topics surrounding pornography and human trafficking. 

To learn more about Nick and Pure Desire, visitPureDesire.org. 

To get access to the Living Undefiled course, visitLivingUndefiled.com.

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Register for Xposed Conference!

When: THIS Saturday, February 24th (join in person or online)

Xposed is an annual event to help pastors, ministry leaders, counselors, and individuals navigate sensitive sexual issues and equip them to care for their communities regarding God’s design for sex.

Register Online (use coupon code XP24-BBM for discount)

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Many men struggle deeply with their godly responsibilities of leadership, especially in the home, because they aren’t even managing themselves very well. 

In this episode, Stephen brings a letter from a leader that is meant to be representative of most men who struggle with this internal conflict of leadership calling and poor self-management. This letter addresses issues like: 

For any man who can relate to what is shared in this letter, there is hope for transformation. You can become the man and leader God designed you to be. 

For helpful resources to enhance your godly manhood and marriage skills, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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Sometimes we don’t have a “topic” for the podcast, but instead simply have a conversation with someone with loads of experience and wisdom in sexual struggles and recovery. This is what today’s episode is all about.

Our guest is author and speaker, Nate Larkin. He founded the Samson Society, a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility, and recovery. 

In our conversation, Nate shares his own story of addiction and recovery. Then we dive into lots of questions that draw on his decades of personal and ministerial wisdom that will prove helpful to any man listening who wants to break free from unwanted sexual behaviors. 

To learn more about Nate and his ministry, visitSamsonSociety.com.

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How important is trust to emotional health and building strong, mature relationships? It is vital! Yet, many men we have served in our ministry struggle terribly with trust. 

In today’s episode, Stephen and I are going to dig into this important topic of trust through the lens of one man’s story that begins with him not being able to trust his parents with his thoughts and feelings and ends with him finally living a “love plus trust” story. 

We will share the distinction between love and trust and how love plus trust takes us even deeper than love alone. We need to learn how to understand trust in its multilayered dimensions if we want to enjoy strong, healthy relationships.

For resources from Stephen to help you grow and mature emotionally, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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Albert Bandura was a psychologist who is credited with developing the term “human agency,” which refers to how you act, think, and interact with life.

In this episode, Stephen and I will unpack the four functions of agency and how they might help us develop better self-awareness and deeper faith and relationships. 

The 4 functions of agency are: 

Intentions (or intentionality)Outcomes (or expectations)Self-regulationSelf-reflection

Agency asks, “Are you paying attention to your own intentions and are you getting better at self-regulating and self-reflecting?’ We hope this conversation will help you understand yourself and others better – and use your agency for good, godly purposes.

To learn more about Albert Bandura and his research, visitAlbertBandura.com.

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Every Christian knows that forgiveness is central to salvation and restoration to God. But what does forgiveness look like between us and those who have hurt us?

Our guests today are Bruce and Toni Hebel, founders of Forgiving Forward, a ministry that helps people experience the freedom of the gospel through the power of forgiveness. They share their own journey of learning the hard way how vital forgiveness is to personal character and health, as well as effective ministry to others. 

In our conversation, Bruce and Toni define forgiveness, explain why Christ is the only one who can pay the full debt of sin and wounds, expose the roots of unforgiveness, the common obstacles to forgiveness, and ultimately how to forgive in real-life situations of betrayal and pain through 5 key protocols:

GRATITUDE for God’s forgiveness of me.REPENT of my sin of unforgiveness. WHO do I forgive and for WHAT?FORGIVE each offense from my HEART.Ask God to BLESS them and look for ways to bless them when possible.

To learn more about Bruce and Toni’s ministry and to get their book, visitForgivingForward.com.

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Did you know that 58% of women who struggle with porn were exposed to porn before age 12? Or that 93% of women who struggle with porn never attend a support group? And that 48% of women viewing porn were a victim of sexual abuse?

Our guest today is Crystal Renaud Day, a coach, author, and speaker – and the founder and executive director of SheRecovery.com. She has been a leading voice for women in this space of sexual integrity ministry since 2009. 

Recently, Crystal and her ministry conducted research to answer the question “What Drives Women to Porn?” There were over 1300 anonymous female participants, ages 18 to 65+ from 58 countries, who had used or been addicted to pornography in the past or present. 

This episode discusses the findings of this research and why this is important to women struggling and those who love them. 

To see the research and results, visitSheRecovery.com.

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Lots of men over the years have shared the sentiment of the following statement: “I’m good as long as I can stay out of my own head.” As we have unpacked this idea with the men who have shared this, there have been four key thoughts that typically keep guys from feeling safe within their own minds.

In today’s episode, Stephen and I are going to share these four thoughts. They are: 

ShameOld StoriesCore FearUnhealthy Fantasies

When you can understand how these thoughts operate and how to combat them, you can reclaim that territory in your mind for hope, peace, and joy.

For helpful "daily thoughts" on emotional health and growth, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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Originally Aired on March 7, 2023

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Today’s episode is getting back to the basics of living a life of sexual integrity. Stephen Cervantes and I have been working with men desiring greater integrity for over 20 years, and we know that a life of integrity is not static. You must be on a daily growth mission to mature. 

In our conversation, we share some of our personal growth tips and many other insights we have seen that help men get on a growth mission and discover their God-sized purpose in life.

A great next step in your pursuit of greater integrity is our Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive workshop. This Friday-Sunday event will help you get down to the roots of your unwanted sexual behaviors and provide practical, powerful direction for living each day with integrity and purpose. 

Learn more about Gateway to Freedom and how to register at Bebroken.org/gtf.

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Originally Aired on February 28, 2023

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HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

We have a goal of $103,000 to reach even more individuals and families in 2024 through this podcast and all our other ministries.

To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.

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Sexual betrayal in marriage is more common than most of us would like to admit. But this terrible fracture is not incurable for couples who choose to go on a journey of healing and restoration.

Our guest today is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, professor, and founder of Building Intimate Marriages. 

In our conversation, Michael answers questions about the “why” of affairs, the impact of past trauma, the myth of affairs only occurring in “bad” marriages, how to know if restoration is possible, what is required for restoration, and more. 

To learn more about Michael and Building Intimate Marriages, visit IntimateMarriage.org.

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HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

We have a goal of $103,000 to reach even more individuals and families in 2024 through this podcast and all our other ministries.

To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.

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Just about every man who has ever entered recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors has wanted a “quick fix” to his addiction. But there are no quick fixes. In fact, true recovery is a years-long process that ultimately leads to deeper emotional growth over a lifetime.

In today’s episode, Stephen and I share a 3-year roadmap of recovery and emotional growth that every man who enters recovery needs to understand and embrace if he wants lasting freedom and lifelong joy. The road of recovery may be long, but it is worth walking it. 

To get Stephen’s emotional growth resources for men, visitDoctorMarriage.org.

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HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

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To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.

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Recovery from any addiction is difficult and there are many stages and layers to the process. It is easy to become overwhelmed and wonder if there is any hope and what the ultimate goal is in recovery.

My guest today is Zach Ellis. He is the Director of New Programs at The Nathan Project, a ministry whose mission is to engage, equip, and encourage Christian families struggling with pornography, sexual brokenness, and addiction.

Zach shares how he got into this space of ministry and some key elements of recovery that are vital for true transformation: freedom, identity, and creativity. He talks of freedom as both a “breaking” and a “building” and how this two-sided aspect of freedom leads to deeper meaning and purpose. He shares of the importance of identity and the value of listening. And, finally, Zach shares some insights around the need for exploring and expressing creativity as part of recovery.

To learn more about The Nathan Project, visitNathanProject.net.

To learn more about Zach and his photography, visitZachEllisPhotography.com.

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HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

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To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.

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Parenting can feel overwhelming in the best of circumstances. But in today’s world which is awash in all forms of sexual brokenness, it can seem impossible, especially when it comes to the issue of identity. 

In today’s episode, our guest is Jordan Young. He is a student ministry pastor at Table Community Church in Hillsboro, Oregon near Portland. He has decades of experience in working with students and the various challenges they face in the culture. 

Our conversation focuses on identity and the confusion many students are experiencing and how the gospel of Jesus addresses this with grace and truth. Jordan and their students read through our Identity book over 6 weeks and it made a huge impact on helping the students better understand what identity means and how we all live from a sense of identity, whether true or false – and why identity in Christ is the only source of eternal hope and peace.

You can get your copy of the Identity book by John Fort at Amazon* or our ministry resource page at Bebroken.org/store.

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HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

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Infidelity is devastating. For couples who have experienced this deep betrayal of trust, it can be hard to imagine that restoration is possible – and even more difficult to think that they could rebuild their marriage into something better than they ever had before. But this is the story of Steve and Lisa Goldberg’s marriage and ministry.

Steve and Lisa are the founders of Side by Side, a ministry to help couples navigate the “unexpected crash” of betrayal and how to restore and rebuild their marriage. 

In today’s episode, Steve and Lisa share their own story of brokenness and healing and the key elements of restoration in their new book entitled The Journey to Stay. They offer a practical message of hope to couples facing the overwhelming difficulty of unfaithfulness. 

To learn more about Steve and Lisa and their ministry, visitStaySidebySide.org.

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HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

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To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.

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Everyone listening to this podcast right now was once a child. Childhood is unavoidable on the journey to adulthood. But none of us got through our childhoods unscathed. And some of the residue of that continues to affect us now as adults.

Today we have back with us Dr. Eddie Capparucci to talk about his inner child therapy model and a new resource he has co-authored for women who struggle with love and sex addiction. Eddie’s model is based on the premise that we all have core emotional triggers that impact our inner child based on past wounds, and in order for us to heal and mature we must address these triggers by understanding our inner child and not simply ignoring our past.

In our conversation, Eddie defines the inner child model and highlights the 10 specific “inner children” for women to understand in order to heal and recover from love and sex addiction. 

To learn more about Eddie and the inner child model, visit AbundantLifeCounselingGA.com.

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Screens are everywhere and, while they are not bad or wrong as a tool, the way we engage them and what we allow on them can be negative. So, how can we build better screen time for ourselves and our families? 

Our guest today is Andrea Davis, the founder and CEO of Better Screen Time, which provides strategies and resources for families to think through how to engage technology and screens for better health and balance in life and relationships. 

Andrea shares her own story as a parent of 5 kids and some of the challenges and victories they have experienced in working out these strategies in their family. She also shares why cell phone contracts rarely work and better strategies for creating a family tech plan to learn personal responsibility with technology. 

To learn more about Andrea and the resources she provides, visitBetterScreenTime.com.

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Men, I’m really excited to bring you today’s program because Stephen and I are going to provide you with some VERY practical help for understanding how to navigate between logic and emotions – and why engaging emotions is essential for maturity. 

Generally, the majority of men we work with in our ministry are very comfortable when communicating logic and solving problems, but very uncomfortable and unfamiliar with communicating emotion. This often results in them becoming stunted or stuck in their relational skills, especially in marriage. 

Today, Stephen and I will share with you a story of one man’s journey to get unstuck when it comes to sharing his emotions and the 2-channel system he developed to help with that process. We are hopeful that this conversation will enlighten you and give you the confidence to work on becoming more skilled in emotional sharing and listening.

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For over 10 years we have helped wives heal from sexual betrayal trauma. One aspect of this healing process that simply should not be overlooked is the need for self-care and simply rest. 

Today’s guest is Christy Jones Jackson. She is the founder and director of The Guest House Project, a non-profit ministry that helps women find hope after betrayal. Christy shares some of her own story and how vital it was that in the middle of her failing marriage due to betrayal a friend took her away for a weekend to pray with her, make her eat, give her gifts, read her Scripture, made her laugh, and reminded her who she was. It was a pivotal moment in her journey to healing and planted the seeds for what would eventually become The Guest House Project.

To learn more about Christy and The Guest House Project, visitTheGuestHouseProject.com.

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Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” This idea of helping each other get sharper is so common in our work with men, especially in our Gateway to Freedom 3-day workshops. Guys form a bond that is deep and meaningful.

In this episode, Stephen and I talk about what can men hope to be saying 6-12 months after they have begun their honest journey toward greater integrity. These insights are coming directly from other men who have traveled this journey and what they discovered on the way. The hope is that these men can help other men to press on and finish well.

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What is the difference between alone and lonely? Is there a healthy aspect to being alone and understanding who you are by yourself?

In today’s episode, Stephen and I dialogue about the topic of aloneness and why we need to be okay with ourselves – by ourselves. We also talk about the difference between aloneness as a healthy thing and isolation as an unhealthy thing. 

We explore some questions that help us better understand how to embrace aloneness, such as: 

It’s okay to be by yourself. We hope this episode helps you navigate this topic with confidence and hope.

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Childhood sexual abuse is not something that only happens to girls. Boys are victims, too. Most of these boys grow up to be men who find it terribly difficult to talk about these experiences. 

In today’s episode, our guest is Dr. James Reeves, founding pastor of City on a Hill Church in Fort Worth, Texas, and the creator of the Fearless Series for women and men. Dr. Reeves shares how he got involved in helping abuse victims and why the church needs to be a safe place for such victims to heal and belong.

The Fearless Series for Men addresses childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse men have experienced and the hope possible for not just surviving trauma but finding true healing and fulfillment through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

To learn more about Dr. Reeves and the Fearless series, visitFearlessResources.org.

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Today’s episode may be the most unique program we’ve ever done on our podcast. We are diving into the space of politics and government, and how Christians can engage their local and state elected officials in gospel-centered ways.

Our guest is Daniel Degner. He is the director of the Church Ambassador Network for the Wisconsin Family Council. He is going to help us understand the fallacy of “separation of Church and State” and how we can do amazing ministry at the intersection of our Christian faith and government. This conversation is critical as we look forward to elections in 2024, not to promote a specific political party, but instead to educate and inspire you on how to build relationships with elected officials for the sake of the gospel and the good of your community. It makes a difference that your local government officials know who you are and what you believe about God’s design for sex and life.

If you would like more info about Daniel and how to get involved in the Church Ambassador Network, visitWIFamilyCouncil.org.

Or reach out to Daniel directly at ddegner@wifamilycouncil.org or (920) 204-4447 (he welcomes texts!).

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When many parents look across the cultural landscape they can become fearful, especially seeing the trajectory of sexual brokenness and confusion. But is there hope in this midst of the fear? 

Our guest today, Barb Winters, believes there is. She is the founder of Hopeful Mom and author of the bookSexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships. 

In our conversation, she highlights key principles and practices from her book that will help parents (and any caregivers of young people) know how to talk about sexual topics and struggles with clarity, confidence, and hope. 

Our ministry’s director of training, John Fort, even provided an endorsement of this book, saying, “Sexpectationsis a calming voice to parents in the midst of the chaos of trying to talk with older kids about sex… I appreciate how Barb goes beyond just ‘what to say to kids’ but includes work that we need to do as parents throughout this process. Sexpectations is an emotional rock for parents to stand on as they navigate these waters.”

For more information about Barb, her ministry, and the book, visitHopefulMom.net.

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One of our core values in ministry is story. It is often the primary bridge that connects people adrift in brokenness and addiction to the community of recovery and transformation. 

In this episode, our guest is Austin Couture, the founder of The Gentle Path Project, which is a place where people can share their stories and be encouraged in their journey to a better life. Austin shares his own story of recovery and growth -- and the challenges he faced and insights he has gained in hopes that it will encourage others to start, or continue, their own pursuit of freedom and joy.

To learn more about Austin and his ministry, visitGentlePathProject.com.

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When a husband betrays his wife’s trust through sexual acting out, this can cause feelings of deep insecurity to arise in a wife – even to the point of feeling unsafe. 

In today’s episode, we will discuss the topic of emotional safety in marriage and why this is often befuddling to many husbands (and men in general) and offer a few ideas on how to create safer emotional spaces for the healing and restoration of marriages broken by sexual betrayal. (As a side note, this topic is helpful foranymarriage!)

This conversation was sparked by a conference Stephen went to by Focus on the Family. They built this topic around the book by authors Paul, Burbee, and Arnzen, entitledRestoring Hope: An Integrative Approach to Marital Therapy(link below).

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I’m so excited about today’s program. I have written a new book that was released this month. It is entitledGrace-Based Transformation: The 3-Stage Journey to Wholeness in Christ. 

In this episode, I share what Grace-Based Transformation is and why I wrote this book after 20 years of full-time ministry. It’s really the book I’ve always wanted to write. 

We will explore what I call the Transformation Pathway and highlight the three key stages on it: Heal -> Grow -> Share. These form the primary indicators of a Christian’s progress. 

So, if you would like greater freedom, deeper joy, and a more effective impact in your life, I invite you to listen in. 

To get the book, simply go toAmazon.comor any other online book distributor.

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Betrayal in marriage is a trauma. Many wives have struggled to find healing because the help they have received simply didn’t address the trauma.

Today’s guest is Laurie Bryson, a licensed professional counselor who specializes in betrayal trauma healing. She is also certified in Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT) which goes beyond simply “talk therapy” in order to help clients experience deep healing from trauma and other emotional wounds. 

In our conversation, Laurie shares what ETT is and how it practically benefits her clients and additional ways to help betrayed wives discover breakthroughs that lead to deep and lasting healing. 

To learn more about Laurie and her practice, visitBrysonCounseling.com.

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How did we get to where we are today when it comes to sexual brokenness, confusion, and outright rebellion against God’s design for sex?

In this episode, our guest is Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, who is the founder of the Ruth Institute, an interfaith international coalition to defend the family and build a Civilization of Love. 

Our conversation was inspired after I read Dr. Morse’s book,The Sexual State: How Elite Ideologies are Destroying Lives and Why the Church Was Right All Along. In this book, she provides a timeline that breaks down the sexual revolution into its component parts so that people can better understand how we have reached our current period and respond to it with grace and truth.

Dr. Morse shares the three big ideas of the sexual revolution: 

The Contraceptive Ideology – Society should do everything possible to separate sex and babies. The Divorce Ideology – Society should do everything possible to separate both sex and babies from marriage. The Gender Ideology – Men and women are completely interchangeable; the “idea” of self is more important than the body.

To learn more about Dr. Morse and her resources, visitRuthInstitute.org.

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Pastors are regular men in a position of great responsibility. They are not immune to sexual temptations. How can the church help pastors recover from sexual sin and strongholds?

In this episode, our guest is Robert Posner. Robert and his wife, Judy, are the founders of 2416 Ministries, a ministry based on Proverbs 24:16, which states, “Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble into ruin.” Robert shares his own story as a pastor who fell into sexual sin and his own journey of recovery and growth. 

We also talk about some of the unique challenges that pastors face due to their often isolated and elevated position. And what pastors can do to guard themselves against sexual misconduct, heal from sexual brokenness, and enter safe places for help in breaking free from sexual struggles and strongholds. 

To learn more about Robert and his ministry, visit2416ministries.org.

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Sometimes it takes a lifetime to gain the deepest riches of wisdom. And yet, in much of the Western world, the aged are considered useless and expendable. 

In today’s episode, Stephen shares words of wisdom from an older friend who continues to be on a journey of learning and growth. He offers simple but deep insights into the struggle within, faith in God, the value of humility, the truth of identity, the true treasures of peace and joy, and a fresh desire to pursue a life of integrity and purpose. 

No matter your age, this episode will give you encouragement, insight, and hope in your personal pursuit of a life well lived. 

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Over the past 20 years, I have heard countless stories of sexual brokenness. Many of these individuals held these stories in secret for years, even decades. They all believed the lie that no one would love them if their secrets came out. But healing and discovering one’s true identity and worth only exist in the light.

In today’s bonus episode, we have Randy and Cynthia Lail here to share a very powerful story of abuse, addiction, satanic strongholds, infidelity, and the matchless power and grace of Jesus Christ. 

If you think no one could understand your brokenness or that you would be utterly rejected if the truth came out, please listen to this episode. There is no one whose story is beyond the reach of God’s rescue and transforming power. 

Learn more about Randy and Cynthia and get a copy of their book atOurBornIdentity.org.

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For parents today it is difficult and even scary raising children in our hyper-sexualized culture. And there can be many different ways to respond to these challenges and fears. 

In today’s episode, John Fort will introduce our 30-week curriculum for families, entitledGod’s Design for Emotional Growth and Sexuality. John is our Director of Training and has developed many of our Family Care resources. This curriculum is designed for families with kids ages 5-18. 

If you are a parent desiring to help your child navigate a world awash in sex, this episode will help you gain clarity and confidence. 

To learn more about the God’s Design curriculum, visitBebroken.org/store.

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We learn and grow best in community. This is why we encourage and enjoy feedback from men as they travel along in their transformation journey. 

Today’s episode is a collection of honest thoughts and ideas and insights from men who are wanting to break free from unwanted sexual behaviors and live as the men God created them to be. 

If you’re a man on a similar journey, we hope and trust that today’s episode will encourage and challenge you to keep pressing on in pursuit of greater integrity and emotional maturity.

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Do you live your life with intentionality and purpose or merely as a reaction to your moods or circumstances? How does the answer to this question affect your pursuit of sexual integrity?

My guest today is Michael Warren. He is a land surveyor by trade but has written a book entitled Live Deliberately. In our conversation, we unpack some insights from the book that will help you address wounds and brokenness from your past and live the full, abundant life Jesus offers.  

To learn more about Michael and get a copy of his book, visit MWarrenAuthor.com.

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Women struggle with porn, too. This is not just a man’s problem. We have known this for quite a while but there are still far fewer resources and environments for women to get help than there are for men.

This is why I’m so glad to have Jessica Harris back on the program today. She has been a pioneer for women seeking safe places and help for breaking free from the stronghold of porn and lust. In our conversation, she shares a bit of her own story, where a woman must start their journey toward wholeness, and practical insights for discovering true fulfillment and freedom in the abundant grace of God.

For more information about Jessica and her resources, visitBeggarsDaughter.com.

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My guest today is Brandon Showalter. He is a journalist and podcaster with the Christian Post and has co-authored the excellent ebook, Exposing The Gender Lie, with Dr. Jeff Myers. In his role at the Christian Post, he has written extensively on topics of theological interest in the Church, including developments of the “gender identity” movement and transgender ideology.  

In our conversation, we discuss how Brandon got into writing on this topic, some of the history and roots of the current transgender movement, the truth about real gender confusion, the war over language, and how Christians can respond to those struggling with the cultural narrative as well as true gender confusion.  

To learn more about Brandon and to get a copy of his book, visit ChristianPost.com/ebook/gender-lie. 

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What do you do when your child says they are gay or is exploring a gay identity? How can you respond with grace and truth?

In this episode, we have Danisa Suarez back with us. She is a licensed counselor and sex therapist who has a passion for teaching and coaching others on God’s good design for sex. This includes helping parents navigate the difficulty of a child pursuing a gay identity.

If you, or a parent you know, is facing such a challenge, this episode will give you hope and practical ideas. 

To learn more about Danisa and her counseling services, visit CCICounseling.com.

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How can a man who has sexually betrayed his partner understand her grief process and why is this important for the potential restoration of the relationship?

Today’s guest is Karla Downing. Karla has been on the podcast multiple times and provides a wealth of wisdom and practical advice for couples navigating difficult challenges in their relationship. In this episode, she helps men understand the grief process of a woman healing from betrayal trauma by highlighting each stage: 

Men, if you want to better love and serve your wife in her healing journey, this podcast will give you practical insights. 

To learn more about Karla and her resources for couples, visitChangeMyRelationship.com.

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Our guest today is Sam Black. Sam is the director of recovery education at CovenantEyes and the author of the new book,The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It.

In our conversation, Sam shares who he wrote this book for (pastors and ministry leaders) and why he wrote it (to help them better understand why people get stuck, why they often stay stuck, and how the church holds the answers for freedom, not just for individuals but for families and leaders, too).

To learn more about Sam and get a copy of the book, visitTheHealingChurch.com.

For a FREE copy of the book, go tohttps://www.signupanywhere.com/signup/hrmupv0t(available to the first 50 people; US addresses only).

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“A life unexamined is only half-lived.” -paraphrase of Socrates

We talk all the time in our ministry and on this podcast about men needing to get on a growth mission, especially as it pertains to emotional growth. 

In today’s episode, Stephen and I get passionate about helping men grasp why it is important to understand yourself and how to learn yourself in a way that leads to greater peace, joy, and love. 

If you feel stuck or confused about how you fit into God’s great design and plan, you will be encouraged by this episode. You are greatly loved and have a great purpose.

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Conflict is inevitable in marriage. But often couples assume that all conflict is bad or wrong and believe the goal is to eliminate it altogether. But my guest today has a different approach when it comes to conflict in marriage. 

His name is Andrew Arthur and he is a mediation specialist with both personal experience and professional expertise in addressing conflict in marriage. In this episode, Andrew helps us to normalize the reality of conflict, gives a simple definition of conflict, how to navigate the needs and interests of both parties in the conflict, and unpacks the 5 specific “conflict styles” and how they intersect in marriage. 

If your marriage is struggling with conflict and how to resolve it in constructive ways, this conversation with Andrew will help. 

To learn more about Andrew and the mediation services he offers, visitGenesisChristianMediation.com.

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Today’s subject matter is something we rarely like to talk about but is extremely necessary for parents considering the sexualized culture we live in. Our topic is protecting your child from predators. 

Our guest is Dr. Beth Robinson, a licensed professional counselor, professor, and certified school counselor with over 25 years of experience in caring for traumatized children and educating parents on how to better protect their children from danger. 

In our discussion, Dr. Beth helps parents deal with their fears around this topic, when and how to talk to their kids about sex and safety, how to choose a babysitter, what to do if parents think their child is a victim of sexual abuse, addressing technology, and more. 

To learn more about Beth and the resources available to parents who want to better protect their kids, visit KidsCallMeDoc.com.

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A life of peace and joy and hope is intimately tied to one’s ability to connect well in relationships. And when you have experienced trauma or addiction or shame this skill can seem virtually impossible to imagine. 

In today’s episode, Stephen brings a multitude of comments made by men who struggle to connect well in their relationships. We unpack these comments in hopes of helping you gain insight into your own connecting skills and make appropriate tweaks to improve.

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Boundaries are essential after betrayal, but few have any experience of knowing what boundaries to set and how to set them.

In this episode, Tammy Gustafson helps us navigate this delicate but necessary topic. Tammy is a licensed counselor who is passionate about helping women recover from trauma, PTSD, and betrayal. 

Boundaries are more than just drawing lines and enforcing consequences when they are crossed. They are about safety, responsibility, self-care, and the building (or rebuilding) of healthy relationships. 

To learn more about Tammy and her resources, visitBetrayalHealing.com.

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Addiction can be simply defined as a repeated cycle of unhealthy or harmful behaviors that gets worse over time. In order to break free from addiction, recovery must include understanding this cycle and how to respond differently to its triggers.

Today’s guest is Vern Tompke, a 30-year pastor, podcaster, and founder of Band of Brothers, a community of men helping men find freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors. Vern has developed what he calls the Stopwatch Acting Out Cycle as a tool for helping men understand their addictive cycle and how to respond more quickly when tempted to go down old paths of self-destructive behaviors. 

To learn more about Vern and his resources, visitBandofBrothers.care or Vern's Podcasts.

Download the Stopwatch Acting Out Cycle Diagram

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There is an old saying used in Alcoholics Anonymous, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” Also, you may have heard of a simple statement to describe insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different outcome.”

If you want to be free from destructive and unhealthy patterns in your life, change must happen. But how can you know if change is actually occurring? 

In today’s episode, Stephen and I will unpack some core principles and practices that will indicate if true change is happening.

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For 20 years our ministry has been helping men break free from unwanted sexual behaviors and pursue a life of integrity and purpose. And most of these men are married – all of whom need lots of growth in the area of emotional health and maturity. 

Today, I get to interview Doctor Marriage. You have known him as my cohort and co-host, Stephen Cervantes. But he is a true expert on the topic of marriage and what it takes for husbands, especially, to revolutionize their marriage by focusing on emotional growth. 

In this episode, we highlight three of Stephen’s workbook resources to help husbands grow emotionally: 

To learn more about these resources and how to buy them, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

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Many Christian leaders struggle silently with various sexual temptations and sin. And too many never get the help they need to heal and grow in their personal sexual integrity. 

Today our guest is Jorge Suarez, co-founder of CCI Counseling, a counseling ministry that provides therapy to couples as they overcome infidelity, sexual addiction, a lack of intimacy, betrayal trauma, and intimacy disorders. Jorge especially has a heart for leaders and helping them live out their God-given purpose. 

In our conversation, we talk about the four key areas where leaders (and anyone, really) need health in order to thrive: 

EmotionalSpiritualRelationalSexual

If you are a leader or want to help Christian leaders in your life, this conversation will inspire and encourage you toward greater health and wholeness. 

To connect with Jorge for further help, visit CCICounseling.com.

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In the best of circumstances, marriage is hard work. But when a couple has histories of brokenness and unresolved pain, it’s even more challenging. 

Today’s guests are Travis and Adelle Graham, founders of The Noble Marriage, a ministry dedicated to helping struggling marriages discover true intimacy. 

Travis and Adelle share their broken pasts (even though raised in Christian homes) and how that affected their marriage; how it led them both to build false images about themselves and their relationship. Eventually, their masks were removed in favor of pursuing an authentic relationship with Christ and each other. This is their story and a message of hope for couples wondering if their struggling relationship can be redeemed. 

To learn more about Travis and Adelle and their marriage resources, visitTheNobleMarriage.com.

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We all have a story. And stories are one of the things we value greatly in our ministry. Why? Because it is through our stories that we connect and discover and learn.

Today’s guest is Neil Getzlow and he has quite a story to tell. He was raised in a Jewish home but eventually left his family tradition in preference of atheism. Along the way, he developed a porn and sex addiction, which made him miserable. Eventually, God chased him down and invited him to stop running and instead find rest and freedom in Christ. 

Neil shares his experience of needing to learn how to be alone as a kid, how he was introduced to porn, the effect of his parent’s divorce, and how he came to believe that love and sex were basically the same things. He also shares the radical way in which God broke him out of his secret addiction and led him to a place of truth, grace, and hope.

To learn more about Neil and get his book, visitNeilGetzlow.com.

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For couples who want to pursue reconciliation and restoration after sexual betrayal, what does the process of recovery look like?

Today’s guest is Cat Etherington, Director of Recovery at Naked Truth Project. She helps us understand the key principles and practices that allow for the best possible results for couples wanting to heal and grow after betrayal.

There is hope for recovery in your marriage.

To learn more about Cat and her work and resources, visithttp://NakedTruthProject.com.

Retreats by Naked Truth Project:

Previous episode (#872) with Cat: The Journey of Healing from Betrayal Trauma - https://youtu.be/WuUexC7Ucc8

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A man recently shared, “I don’t want to live the next 20 years of my life the way I have lived the past 20 years.” This is a man who wants to get on a mission of growth and change.

In today’s episode, Stephen shares the journey of this man who wants to finish better than he started. We unpack many of the fundamental issues and principles that must be examined and worked on if long-term transformation is going to happen. 

If you are a man who wants to finish life better than you started it, this episode will give you encouragement and insights to help you experience deep contentment and freedom.

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This is our 900th episode! And it’s such a delight to release this milestone episode on my birthday. I hope it blesses you as much to listen as it did for me to record it. 

Today’s episode is getting back to the basics of living a life of sexual integrity. Stephen Cervantes and I have been working with men desiring greater integrity for over 20 years, and we know that a life of integrity is not static. You must be on a daily growth mission to mature. 

In our conversation, we share some of our personal growth tips and many other insights we have seen that help men get on a growth mission and discover their God-sized purpose in life.

A great next step in your pursuit of greater integrity is ourGateway to Freedom 3-day intensive workshop. This Friday-Sunday event will help you get down to the roots of your unwanted sexual behaviors and provide practical, powerful direction for living each day with integrity and purpose. 

Learn more about Gateway to Freedom and how to register atBebroken.org/gtf.

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Sexual betrayal in marriage is more common than most of us would like to admit. But this terrible fracture is not incurable for couples who choose to go on a journey of healing and restoration.

Our guest today is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, professor, and founder of Building Intimate Marriages. 

In our conversation, Michael answers questions about the “why” of affairs, the impact of past trauma, the myth of affairs only occurring in “bad” marriages, how to know if restoration is possible, what is required for restoration, and more. 

To learn more about Michael and Building Intimate Marriages, visit IntimateMarriage.org.

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Sex education isn’t what it used to be. But the need for good, godly sex education is at an all-time high. 

Our guest on today’s program is Kristen Miele. Kristen has been educating youth on the topic of sex for 12 years and is the founder of Sex Ed Reclaimed, a training organization that specializes in God-honoring accessible sex ed for children 3 to 18 years old. 

In our conversation, Kristen answers questions around the importance of sex education, what needs to be taught in sex ed, how to teach it, and various obstacles that confront parents and kids alike when learning God’s good design for sex.

To learn more about Kristen and their curriculum, visitSexEdReclaimed.com.

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Everyone has experienced various emotional and mental challenges over the last three years since the Covid-19 pandemic swept the globe. Many men have faced significant mental health struggles as a result. 

In today’s bonus episode, our guest is Steve Dulaney. He is a counselor in the Pacific Northwest and the director of Prodigals International, a non-profit Christian ministry focused on helping men, women and families find healing, hope, and redemption from the impact of sexual brokenness.

Our conversation is focusing on all the effects of these mental health challenges men are facing today and what hope there is for better health and relationships. 

To learn more about Prodigals and their resources, visitProdigalsInternational.org.

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Everyone has a core fear that gets woven into their soul from childhood. It tends to drive everything, from thoughts to behaviors. 

But God created us in His image, and He is love. His Word tells us that “perfect (mature) love drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18) So, how can we move from being fear-driven to being love-driven?

In this episode, we unpack this question and provide insights and tips to understand your fears and respond to them in healthy, redemptive ways that benefit you and your relationships.

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